How to heal the soul from a former loved one. How to cope with heartache after a breakup? How to cope with a breakup? What to do if the pain after a breakup does not go away? Emotional distress after a breakup

A person experiences mental pain various reasons. Some lose loved ones, others break up with a loved one. It is not always possible to suppress sadness and start with clean slate. Healing mental wounds requires time, effort and constant work on oneself. A depressed state often results in prolonged depression, so it is important to find a balance in time so as not to aggravate the situation.

Unleash your feelings

Don't ignore the fact that sadness is drawing you deeper and deeper. The heart hurts and the soul cries, this is normal. Turn on a hot shower and cry, beat the mattress, scream, just don’t keep it all to yourself. Try to find the balance that makes you feel as comfortable as possible.

Don’t fake a smile, pretending that everything is fine. There is also no need to constantly think about what happened, provoking a nervous breakdown. Home meditation or yoga classes will help you find harmony. These directions are created for healing the soul and solitude with one’s own “I”.

In cases where the above methods are not suitable, create a “sanctuary” in your apartment. Set up a cozy corner, hang curtains in pastel colors, buy soft pillows. Obviously, at first you won’t want to go outside for a long time, but you shouldn’t delay it. When the tears roll in again, go back to your cozy corner, brew a mug of green tea with honey and close your eyes.

Control your actions and mind

There are often cases when a person experiences mental pain and remains in it for a long time. Try to look for a way out so as not to drown in despair. It’s one thing if you decide to wait a week to cope with the torment, it’s another thing when you fall into a prolonged depression.

During heartache, each of us goes through certain stages on the path to healing (grief, anger, indifference, anxiety, fear and humility). Analyze your own actions, think about what helps you move forward.

Perhaps the transition from sadness to dissatisfaction was carried out with the help of physical activity or constant busyness at work. When motivation is found, use it to move on to the remaining stages until you accept what happened.

There are no people who can do without social communication. Family and friends will always support you and fill the void with advice or words of regret. Invite a friend over, cook a delicious dinner or order pizza at home, turn on interesting film on a neutral topic. Speak out, ask what she would do in your place, listen to practical advice.

Make it a habit to organize such gatherings every evening over a cup of tea or delicious ice cream. You should not drink alcohol even in small quantities. Under the influence of alcohol, strong emotions will come up that you will definitely not be able to cope with.

If communicating with people is not an option, buy a diary. Conduct a frank dialogue in it, transfer all the pain and accumulated torment to paper. When the time comes and you can let go of what happened, you will need to burn the written sheets and move on to a new stage.

Would you like to keep a diary? It's okay, get a pet. You should not buy a dog if you are not ready for such a serious step. Choose a parrot (preferably a talking one), a cat or fish. The new inhabitant will give strength, as he requires attention, affection and communication. Focus on your pet, take care of it, invest all your love and energy.

Remove material memories

If you are lost loved one, you shouldn’t throw away his things, that would be mean. Collect them in a box and carefully place them in the far corner of the closet. Restore everything to its place when the pain subsides. If you have separated from a loved one who own actions broke your heart, get rid of the “evidence” forever. Take personal items, shaving accessories, and photo frames to the trash. Delete pictures from your PC and phone, erase the number.

If not all items make you remember what happened, sort it. Take the thing in your hand and pay attention to the first associations. Does a wall collage make you cry? Remove and dispose of it. Does the smell of perfume drive you crazy? Remove from sight. Does bed linen cause negative feelings? Leave it. Repeat the steps with each item that misleads you.

Take a break from what's happening

Pick up a book you've been wanting to read for a long time. Start watching a new series or find a hobby. Sign up for dancing, go to a trial class in stretching, Pilates or yoga. Call your friends, invite them to bowling, a water park or a picnic. Try to spend as little time alone as possible, communicate with interesting people.

If your professional employment involves an ongoing work process, throw yourself into it headlong. Improve your skills or learn new specialty. Visit distant relatives, take an outing every weekend.

It's good if you have the opportunity to go abroad. It is not necessary to buy expensive tours for 2 weeks; a three-day trip to the sea or to countries with a large concentration of attractions will be enough.

When a person begins to fantasize or imagine good moments, he is automatically healed. There is nothing wrong with dreams, visualize everything to the smallest detail. Imagine swimming in the sea or driving a newly purchased car.

Find 15-20 minutes a day for a flight of fancy. During a short stay in virtual world the border with reality is erased, existing problems become less important.

Turn on your favorite music, find a comfortable position and close your eyes. Experts have repeatedly proven that music therapy has a beneficial effect on the nervous system and improves mood. The released endorphins fight stress and smooth out difficult perceptions of reality. After 5 sessions, your attitude towards what is happening changes, and strength appears for new achievements.

Avoid sad memories

You have already gotten rid of things that can remind you of what happened. On at this stage it is necessary to suppress negative memories that bring you to your original state. A regular song playing that day or a walk in familiar places can trigger new stress.

It is not forbidden to think about what happened, but thoughts should be directed in a positive direction. If you notice that sadness will soon come, switch to something neutral or cheerful. Go for a walk where you have never been before, go to a river or lake.

Time will pass, you will learn to live with it, you will be able to easily switch from a once painful topic to completely opposite things. Now it seems to you that it will not get better, but this is not so. Soon the events will be in the past, and you will find the strength to move on.

It is impossible to survive mental pain without changing yourself. Change the decor in the apartment, make cosmetic repairs, rearrange the furniture. If you don’t want to be in this home, move to a new house or another city.

Pay attention to appearance

Get your hair, facial skin, and figure in order. Go shopping and buy beautiful things that fit perfectly. Find an extreme hobby, go swimming or master snowboarding techniques.

You should not shave your head, get tattoos or wear makeup. bright colors. Leave such changes for later. Meet new people, spend more time with them. Such a move will not allow discussing the sad events that have happened every half hour.

Develop materially and enrich yourself spiritually

Master literature on sociology, history, psychology or business. Find profitable job, set a goal and move forward to achieve it. In order not to relax, make a bet with your friends.

Do not keep emotions in your head; in such cases, there is a risk of depression. Invite your friends over, talk it out, spend time having intimate conversations. Monitor your thoughts and actions, do not force memories. Step back, find something interesting to do, go visit relatives or friends.

Video: how to overcome mental pain

It happens when the ground disappears from under your feet due to the loss of a loved one: separation, illness, death. Lined up with this man special world. How to live if the world will not be the same? How to relieve mental pain if relationships dear to your heart cannot be revived? Perhaps we should be patient and wait?

The irreparable has already happened. The accident did not happen in the movies, but in real life. ?

Time cures?

It happens when the ground disappears from under your feet due to the loss of a loved one: separation, illness, death. A special world has been built with this person. The heart stores experiences from moving to a new apartment together, having children or walking in the park. Do you remember the expression with which he is happy, sad or grumbling. Do you know how many sugar cubes people like to add to their tea? And suddenly the usual way of life is crossed out.

How to live if the world will not be the same? How to calm down if relationships dear to your heart cannot be revived? Perhaps we should be patient and wait? Training by Yuri Burlan " System-vector psychology"offers another way - to understand the causes of mental pain with the help of psychoanalysis.

The word is first aid

Even years after the departure of a loved one, it can be painful to re-read letters addressed to you in which he shared his innermost experiences. IN best case scenario the mental pain of separation - or betrayal, violence - dulls over the years. But to free yourself from emotional suffering, you don’t have to wait passively. Just the opposite. There is no time to waste in treating pain from a mental wound.

First aid for severe mental shock- speak out.

There is an opinion that when a person has experienced stress, he should be left alone with his feelings and “not reopen the wound.” In fact, to cope with mental pain, you need to immediately start talking to a loved one about what happened. Don’t hide your emotions, don’t hold back your tears, don’t suppress painful experiences. And do not ignore any painful memory.

If emotional suffering is due to the fact that the person cannot be returned, it is advisable to discuss as many happy moments and feelings associated with him as possible. Talk about his achievements and merits. Such memories will smooth out the bitterness of loss, making room for light sadness.

It is important to speak out as soon as possible after a traumatic event, otherwise negative experiences will be repressed into the unconscious. If this happens, it will be more difficult to cope with the emotional pain later.

It is important to follow safety precautions. Be serious about choosing a person for an intimate conversation. Make sure he treats your emotions and heartache with care.

This method can be regarded as first aid, like artificial respiration. When this remedy from the psychological “first aid kit” has completed its task, a person needs a resource to live on.

How to live further?

People may experience differently difficult situation, and the consequences of losses manifest themselves differently depending on the characteristics of the human psyche.

Emotional suffering

There are people for whom the severance of an emotional connection is especially painful. System-vector psychology defines them as representatives.

For people with this type of psyche, emotions are important. In one hour they can experience the whole gamut of experiences from fear to love. They strive to build emotional connections with people with whom they can exchange secret feelings or give warmth of soul.

The loss of emotional connections makes their soul ache. Due to unbearable suffering, visual people may close down after experiencing trauma and avoid showing feelings in the future. By doing this they are driving themselves into a trap. After all, then they do not fully realize the abilities inherent in nature, and this means that they largely lose the ability to experience joy from life.

It happens the other way around, when mental pain makes it difficult for them to cope with their emotions. Containing feelings is beyond your strength. Sobs come, reality is difficult to comprehend due to emotional overexcitement. Such outbursts make your hands shake and your head hurt. Emptyness and melancholy take their place.

Such conditions may be the result of fear. It serves as the starting point for development in all people with visual vector. Normally, in an adult, the emotion of fear is redirected into empathy, but in situations of severe stress, it happens that the usual response skills are washed away by the wave of a broken dam. Then the root fear of death can be exposed. It is not always realized and can be expressed at the psychosomatic level, including panic attacks.

Guilt

This condition is caused by the mental characteristics of the anal vector. Friendship and family are sacred for such people. If they are sure that they have hurt a loved one, they greatly reproach themselves for it. Self-criticism is fueled by the innate tenacious memory of the anal vector. She firmly captures the details of the past, even if she doesn’t want to remember them at all. What if there is no way to correct the past? A person may be stuck in a state of guilt for a long time and not know how to build his life further. The situation will change if we find a way to make amends by caring for those who need it.

Loneliness

Proofreader: Natalya Konovalova

The article was written based on training materials “ System-vector psychology»

Heartache- this is painful emotional condition which can last from several hours to months. Prolonged emotional discomfort leads to loss of a sense of joy, interferes with work, maintaining contacts with others, and makes it difficult social life person.

Mental anguish is not always destructive for a person. They may appear as defense mechanism: This is how the psyche protects itself from excessive stress.

To answer the question “how to cope with emotional pain,” you must first understand what it is and what are the causes of emotional suffering.

What does it mean to experience mental pain?

When describing his feelings, a person, as a rule, cannot specify what exactly hurts him. However, there are cases when mental pain finds expression in bodily sensations:

feeling of nausea, vomiting;
feeling of heaviness in the limbs;
abdominal or stomach pain;
burning sensation in the chest area;
heart rhythm disturbances.

Often a person characterizes his emotional background, as “a complete lack of feelings, numbness, a feeling of unreality of events,” anxiety, apathy, depression.

Who suffers more often

It should be noted that people with certain personal characteristics are more susceptible to painful emotions:

increased anxiety;
low self-esteem;
perfectionism;
a heightened sense of duty and responsibility to others;
inability to adapt to changing living conditions.

addictions (alcoholism, drug addiction);
epilepsy;
affective insanity;
hysterical disorder;
hypochondria;
phobic anxiety.

The most common case of the disease is depression. It can have dire consequences for a person, so it is better to seek help from a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

The difficulty in treating mental pain is that a person with mental pathology loses his sense of reality and ceases to critically perceive his condition. Healthy personality seeks support from others. If pain is the result of mental illness, then self-treatment excluded.

The feeling of mental pain often means that a person was unable to “digest” some strong feelings and they settled in his subconscious. Often the feeling of mental pain is a unique way of interacting with others. A person attracts attention to himself, receives sympathy, warmth, and care from significant people.

Causes of mental pain

Physiological reasons.

Human emotions have chemical nature. Negative feelings may be a consequence of a lack of certain substances in the body: dopamine, serotonin. Hormonal fluctuations are common in both men and women. In the latter, these manifestations are more visible, especially during premenstrual syndrome or after childbirth. In men, such “hot flashes” also occur, but they pass more smoothly. If the reaction to processes occurring in life greatly exceeds their significance, it makes sense to think about the physiological nature of mental pain.

Conflict of expectations and reality.

A person’s sense of his place in life sometimes does not coincide with the real picture of the world. This awareness can be very painful, leading to emotional distress and, sometimes, depression. To stop suffering about this, you need to reconsider your attitude.

Specifics of mentality.

In Russian culture, the love of suffering is a folk pastime.

How to relieve mental pain? A person uses emotional suffering to cover up his unwillingness to grow up and take responsibility for his life. Often he himself accumulates a feeling of emotional and physical stress due to the fact that he constantly returns to a painful situation or conversation.

After breaking up with a young man, the girl spends days looking at his photograph, listening to sad music and crying. In this situation, unbearable mental suffering is akin to masochism. Some people have a specific personality structure in which suffering and life are one and the same.

Subjective factors.

Sometimes a person “grows” his own pain. This happens when any negative feeling it connects with the lived stressful situation. For example, 10 years after a divorce a person cannot find a partner. Personal life may not work out for a number of reasons that have nothing to do with the previous breakup: personality traits, inability to choose a partner, unwillingness to bear responsibility, etc. But for him, the previous failure became a kind of “anchor” that interferes with a person’s realization.

The mechanism of occurrence from the point of view of psychology

Suppose some significant event occurs in a person’s life that has negative connotation. This could be serious stress: death or separation, divorce, job loss, breakup significant person, bankruptcy. Events that objectively do not cause serious damage to the psyche can also be traumatic. For a person they acquire super-significance. In response to a traumatic event, a pronounced emotionally charged negative reaction occurs. Under the influence of personal assessment (a person experiences what happened), a stable negative experience appears.

Mental pain becomes deep long-term character. A person has a number of important psychological links that determine his comfortable state of mind. Psychologists believe that when a person loses any significant object, this link is lost.

There is a theory according to which mental pain is deeply subjective, it exists separately from the body and does not manifest itself in it. American neuropsychologists studied images taken by magnetic resonance imaging and concluded that mental suffering affects the functioning of the physiological systems of the body. A person suffers - at this time the neurons of the limbic system of the brain are activated.

In psychology there is a concept - psychogenic pain. This condition occurs when emotional suffering is reflected in physiology, but is not associated with visible pathologies.

How to Deal with Heartache

The first thing to understand is that suffering cannot be suppressed.

You need to give free rein to your emotions.

If you want to cry, you need to cry; if you want to scream, then you need to scream. At the same time, you should not constantly think about the source of your suffering, otherwise the recovery process may be delayed.

Adaptation of the psyche to new conditions occurs depending on several factors:

age;
the degree of significance of the event;
individual characteristics personalities;
features of the central nervous system.

Excessive dramatization worsens the individual’s well-being, unsettles and interferes with normal life. If such a feature is present, it is recommended to allocate time for yourself to suffer. For example, half an hour every evening. This method helps tone the body.

An excellent remedy in the fight against mental pain is sport in all its manifestations. During active physical activity, the body produces hormones that improve mood and well-being. If it is not possible to constantly exercise, it is recommended to walk for at least an hour a day.

Regular good sleep - good way return peace of mind and cope with emotional distress. It is during sleep that the body processes information received during the day and overcomes stress.

Communication with loved ones helps speed up healing. Don't be afraid to ask for help and support if you need it.

A resource for healing can be found in charity work and volunteering. If mental pain is caused by the loss of a loved one, then contact with people who also need care and support helps to experience sad emotions. More than half of hospital and hospice volunteers are people who have lost loved ones.

Mental pain finds emotional expression in tension and static “freezing” of the facial muscles. You can relieve these manifestations by doing facial exercises or simply chewing gum. Suffering and chewing are incompatible processes!

How to get rid of heartache after a breakup

The process of grieving after the loss of a loved one, be it death, divorce or separation, is identical.

On the path to recovery, a person must go through several stages. Emotions can be varied: anger, guilt, resentment, hatred, self-pity, irritability, alienation.

There is no recipe for healing the heartache after a loss or breakup. But you can reduce the appearance of some symptoms. A person must give himself time to experience mental anguish in order to free himself from it.

A good way to survive the heartache after a breakup is permanent employment And personal development. You can allow yourself to do what you have long been attracted to: go dancing, do yoga, join a travel club, start writing poetry, visit exhibitions, etc. After some time, you will be able to find peace of mind.

Practicing psychologists believe that the recovery process almost always includes tears, suffering and rethinking of one’s life. If you want to cry, cry, there is nothing wrong with that. An outburst of emotions will speed up your recovery.

Video

Video from interesting technology which will help you get rid of mental pain.

Mental pain is discomfort that a person feels inside himself, but it is not related to any organ. Therefore, there is no medicine to eliminate this disorder.

The severity of unpleasant sensations is different for all people, as well as reactions to mental wounds. Some, banally, reduce suffering with the help alcoholic drinks, others run away from reality on the Internet.

A specialist psychotherapist will tell you how to cope with mental pain with minimal consequences for psychological and physical health. However, not everyone will go to a doctor for help, trying to solve the problem on their own. Thus only aggravating the situation.

Development mechanism

Heartache is emotional reaction a person to the negative change that has appeared in his usual way of life. Most often, it is preceded by a significant loss - the death of a loved one, betrayal or loss of social status.

Rapidly emerging negative emotion according to its assessment, a person regards it as a significant experience for him - a deep spiritual feeling. It has great importance for the full formation of personality, being a significant link in psychological activity.

Most experts attribute mental suffering to subjective feelings. However, modern research made it possible to refute this statement - in the images obtained using magnetic resonance imaging, foci of activation in the limbic system of the brain are clearly visible, as a response to the moral trauma inflicted.

In addition, severe mental pain can be perceived by a person as psychogenic - felt by him on the physical level. For example, pain impulses in the area of the heart, head, abdomen. Relationships with somatic pathologies It is not possible to establish, nor can they be confirmed by instrumental examinations. Therefore no medicines unable to cope with mental anguish. Only a highly qualified psychotherapist can help.

Causes

Mental anguish can also appear for other reasons:

a constant feeling of fear - living in a family with an accentuated personality prone to physical violence;
long-held emotions of anger - highly paid work under the guidance of personally hostile management, when the “tyrant boss” gives directly contradictory instructions, demanding to perform such a volume of duties that one person cannot do it, and as a result, it is formed in conjunction with mental suffering;
deficiency in the body of certain chemical substances– neurotransmitters, which can be expressed by hyperexcitation of brain structures, depletion of their ability to compensate;
disruption of the endocrine organs, provoking the constant production of anxiety and stress hormones - hyperthyroidism, pheochromocytoma;
a person’s own fixation on his own troubles - looking at photographs of a deceased close relative, returning to memories of happy moments in the past;
a subconsciously existing need to receive benefits - mental pain serves only to disguise a person’s selfish motives, the desire to receive material benefits from others or increased attention in response to the demonstrated torment of the soul.

Only a competent psychotherapist can put everything in its place - establish the true reasons for deteriorating well-being and suggest how to get rid of mental pain.

Pain in the soul can also arise due to separation from a loved one. : recommendations of a psychiatrist.

Symptoms

Many people describe their negative emotions and worries like this: mental pain for them is an unpleasant, intense feeling of constant melancholy and painful internal suffering.

At the peak of psychological discomfort, physical disorders may even appear - asthenia with persistent dizziness, migraines, palpitations and nausea, or sleep disturbances, lack of appetite.

U individuals mental pain from love, or rather its loss, can even exceed in severity and intensity the sensations from a burn, injury, or broken leg. The situation is also aggravated by the need to hide one’s feelings from others and maintain a “social face.”

Hidden internal processes can result in the following somatic signs and physiological symptoms:

feeling of pressure behind the sternum;
a fossil somewhere in the area of the chest, head;
unpleasant constant burning sensation, coldness in the chest;
stitching, pressing impulses in the heart;
discomfort, spasms in the intestines - the upper or lower abdomen, at a certain point;
constant presence of nausea - comes in waves or is felt every minute;
disorders in the cardiovascular system - slowing of the pulse - bradycardia, or its increase - tachycardia, fluctuations in blood pressure parameters.

However, on physical manifestations mental anguish, especially if they are not so clearly demonstrated, others may not pay attention, while emotional manifestations are more clearly monitored. Depression, depressed mood, apathy, anxiety, lack of interest in all current events, “numbness,” “numbness.”

Sometimes the sensations are so exotic that they can already be perceived as signs of emerging psychopathies - the heart was torn out of the chest, everything inside was torn and bled.

How to deal with pain in your soul on your own

Since people are socially dependent creatures, pain in the soul most often arises due to a break in a relationship with a loved one. Emotional distress may be so intense that it affects activities internal organs– heart, nervous system, gastrointestinal tract.

Soul feelings They go through several stages, each of which will have its own emotions. Mental pain after breaking up with a loved one begins with the stage of denial - an unwillingness to understand that the relationship is over. This is expressed in a constant return to thoughts about a loved one and the desire to see him.

Since meetings do not take place, emotions move to the next stage - indignation and hatred. The abandoned soul mate strives to throw out the pain, taking revenge on everyone accessible ways. Such actions bring relief, but only to a certain extent. a short time. And only then comes the stage of accepting the breakup, when emotional experiences lose their intensity and decrease.

To speed up the process of psychological recovery after a breakup with a loved one, experts have developed several recommendations on how to relieve mental pain at home:

switch to other activities - do charity work, join a hobby group;
visit art exhibitions and film premieres more often with friends;
accept the separation as a fact and end the relationship, getting rid of all things that may remind you of past events;
start visiting a fitness center, swimming pool, gym - exercise stress helps not only relieve nervous tension, but also gives a feeling of joy and self-satisfaction;
restore old relationships with old friends and go to visit them - communicating with once familiar, but forgotten people, learning new events in their lives, all this helps to distract yourself and survive mental discomfort.

There is no single scheme for how to survive mental pain - every person has to experience it for themselves. various methods and methods of dealing with the torments of the soul, choosing for yourself best option.

If mental suffering occurs in a particular person, it is necessary to carefully analyze the situation and own feelings, find out what could have caused them. Thus, family grief - the loss of a loved one, divorce, serious illness - require a certain time interval to adapt to new circumstances. There is no need to rush or rush yourself.

Without special skills, many people, having listened to the advice of strangers, try to get rid of mental discomfort, constantly remembering unpleasant events, “sprinkling salt” on the wounds of the soul.

Daily dramatization only aggravates the disorder, and does not relieve the torment. Subsequently, it takes much more time and effort to overcome mental anguish - it is better to just speak out once and try to accept the event in your life as it is.

Some people simply exaggerate their own suffering - they fight with “windmills”. Whereas after reassessing what is happening, you can understand that troubles are completely solvable. They are only part of the complex mechanism of the universe and, against the background of the movement of planets in space, are not at all significant for humanity. By minimizing your own troubles, it is much easier to cope with them.

It is imperative to believe in own strength, into the possibility that it will be possible to “make friends” with the problem and overcome it. By taking the time to thoroughly examine the situation – together with best friend, a psychotherapist, having understood what exactly can be done, the person is thereby already taking steps for his mental recovery.

Another direction in the fight against mental discord is to reconsider your lifestyle. Active activities help to escape from the bottomless abyss of melancholy and depression. physical labor– carry out long-planned renovations in the apartment, start attending yoga classes and a swimming pool. You should pay attention to your diet - enrich it with vegetables and fruits, useful microelements and vitamins. Sleep - no less important component health. It takes about 8-9 hours for the brain to have the opportunity to calm down and process everyday events.

Helping the soul overcome discord is within the power of every person. You just need to set a similar goal for yourself, and also listen to the opinions of experts in this field.

Regular failures in love and prolonged absence career growth, sad news about the loss of a loved one and oppressive loneliness are the prerequisites for the emergence of severe pain in the depths of the soul. Similar phenomenon cannot be cured by taking an effective pill or potion. The consciousness of a person who is depressed acquires a comatose state.

It will not be possible to diagnose the problem that has arisen, because no medications have been found to treat the above symptoms in the 21st century. Calming capsules and psychotropic drugs can aggravate the current situation, harming the mind damaged by grief and emotions. It is not surprising that people have a question: How to relieve severe mental pain? What is the best way to bring your loved one back to a full life? Where is the formula for success hidden? How to get rid of it?

Mental pain appears in people who were not mentally prepared for the events that occurred. If you prepare yourself in advance for various options development of the situation, it will be much easier to realize the accomplished fact

How to cope with mental pain: a step-by-step guide to action

To solve the problem, it is recommended to contact a psychologist who will correctly diagnose the cause of spiritual experiences, offering his own healing method. However, it also becomes possible to get rid of severe pain that consumes a person’s consciousness every minute. The main thing is to follow the simple sequence of actions recommended below:

Identify the cause of mental pain.
Do not deny the presence of depression, accepting past events as an element of the past.
Realize the scale of the situation.
Determine the consequences by projecting the most “scary” picture of events.
Relate your results to the scale of the situation. Are realities not so harsh?
Change your usual environment, gradually arousing an interest in life in your mind.
Get rid of reminders of the event that happened by “opening” new page own existence.
Enjoy positive moments while avoiding negative emotions.
Learn to live in a new format, becoming happy.

It is difficult solely with the help of words and encouraging phrases. To restore mutual understanding with damaged consciousness close friend and the beloved will have to be around regularly, regaining lost trust. Remember that severe mental pain causes a state of apathy towards the world, aggression towards people, hatred towards the events that happened. Do not transfer this range of emotions onto yourself, because your loved one does not want to offend you - at this moment it is very difficult for him.

If you regularly train emotional stability, you can prevent the occurrence of mental pain. Rational perception of accomplished events is a reliable basis for a balanced and invulnerable person

Options for solving the problem at different ages

If you want to help your loved one get rid of mental pain, be sure to take into account his age. At different periods of life, people’s worldviews have a clear similarity, so the methods for solving the problem are identical:

Age 5–10 years.

Children have spiritual experiences due to unfulfilled promises of parents who did not fulfill cherished dream child. Encouraging this type of behavior is not an appropriate decision for adults, but you need to help the child during such a period. To “free” the offspring’s consciousness from, an unplanned trip to an amusement park is enough. You can buy a young explorer exploring the world a portion of ice cream or new toy– most importantly, a moment of surprise that evokes positive emotions in the child.

Age 10–18 years.

During such a period of time, mental pain becomes a consequence of the betrayal of a loved one or appears after a series of failures negatively perceived by peers. , taking over the consciousness of a teenager, slow down the process of growing up, preventing the child from realizing himself in society. The only rational way out of this situation is to switch the attention of the person who is in adolescence for exciting activities. New circle communication will allow a teenager to painlessly experience a depressive state.

Age 18–30 years.

To restore emotional balance, you need to regularly be near an adult who is experiencing severe stress. At this age, depression appears after unsuccessful love relationship ending in divorce. Discord in the family, lack of communication with the child, dissatisfaction with the authorities, lack of funds - the reasons for the worries are varied. However, the method of treatment is always the same - heart-to-heart conversations and a reliable “shoulder” of support.

In an attempt to help, do not become a “hostage” of your own mercy, sharing the worldview of a person experiencing severe mental pain. You must listen, giving him the opportunity to talk, but not agree, maintaining the format of depressive communication. Be there and prove your devotion by restoring your loved one’s faith in people and a bright future.