How to force someone to do something. Why is it difficult to start and what to do about it

A fairly common situation in today’s life is when a person cannot bring himself to do absolutely necessary things - complete necessary tasks, get out of bed, go to work, and the like.

This condition is most often not just psychological promiscuity, it is one of the main signs of dangerous diseases - depression and anxiety-depressive disorders.

If this problem recurs systematically, you should urgently seek medical help.

And if such a difficulty occurs rarely and does not give the impression of a painful manifestation, then you should understand that by running your affairs to a critical point and taking on them only at the last moment, you cannot count on an excellent result. The most obvious and unpleasant consequences of this state of affairs are, of course, problems at work and in school, which immediately affects a person’s well-being.

People experiencing such difficulties tend to attribute to themselves various vices: laziness, lack of concentration, promiscuity, thus only aggravating their condition.

So what actually lies behind this phenomenon? Usually this is anxiety about the result, low self-esteem, various fears, phobias, neuroses, i.e. various psycho-emotional disorders, the result of which can be serious depression.

Very often, such problems manifest themselves as follows:

“I can’t bring myself to do anything,” “I can’t force myself to work,” “I just can’t concentrate.”

People come up with all sorts of things to do, trying to put off necessary work for longer, and sometimes they are not even able to force themselves to even get out of bed. Such manifestations indicate serious emotional distress, the roots of which may lie in a personal conflict. Troubles of this kind can be successfully resolved with the participation of a psychotherapist.

“I can’t bring myself to leave the house”, “I can’t bring myself to use transport”

Sometimes, everyday activities such as commuting to work or other daily errands can be a significant challenge. When even leaving the house is a difficult task, it extremely poisons existence. Such a problem disrupts career and personal plans and, as a result, increasingly isolates a person from the outside world in his own mental distress and aggravates his difficult emotional state.

Even mild manifestations of such ill-being can significantly poison life and cause many unpleasant experiences, to say nothing of severe cases when the inability to complete necessary tasks or leave the confines of one’s own home seriously limits a person’s life opportunities.

Particularly serious are situations when a person cannot bring himself to leave the house; and when he experiences fear of traveling in transport (or certain types of transport - subway, plane). In transport it can become physically unwell - a person begins to choke, his heart may begin to hurt, and he may experience attacks of fear or panic.

Such cases are a sure sign of anxiety or panic disorder - very serious diseases, which are nevertheless completely curable.

This article is for those who cannot work without distraction and finish what they start, facing laziness and lack of self-organization. Maybe you're a freelancer, working on your own and lacking discipline. Or you work in the office on different projects and often fail to meet deadlines due to the fact that you cannot do everything on time. Or you simply can’t do some work for a long time due to laziness and a desire to be distracted.

Then this article is for you. I hope my tips help you. Here I will tell how to make yourself work and get the job done more efficiently.

This post is dedicated to the first anniversary of the blog site! Over the course of a year, attendance grew from zero to 3,500 people per day! I think this is a good result. But let’s digress further and return to the topic of the article.

Discipline and self-organization

I used to always be fascinated by organized and disciplined people who can work with concentration when it needs to be done. And for this they do not need a boss who will urge and control them. They do not require any special office work environment: they can work at home and at the same time resist the temptation to lie down and be lazy. They are completely independent and autonomous. They know how to plan, set goals and achieve these goals.

My admiration for these people was mixed with envy, for the reason that I myself lacked discipline and needed it very much. Work always fell out of my hands, I was constantly distracted by something, I was late with deadlines, and some tasks remained unfulfilled. I didn’t have any schedule or plan; I could start doing something only when there was a serious deadline or someone started urging me on. It is clear that the quality and efficiency of such work in such conditions always left much to be desired.

But now a lot has changed. Every day I work on filling and setting up two sites (this blog and its English-language counterpart - nperov.com), plus I do my main job. (I won’t prevaricate too much and honestly say that at my main job, I’m not very busy yet, but, nevertheless, I work a lot, including on my own projects - the blog takes up a lot of my time time.) I can work at home, in the office - it doesn’t matter. I learned to get things done, to work methodically and not to be distracted by extraneous stimuli. I will tell you what principles helped me with this here.

Write for this blog

Writing articles for a website is, of course, a pleasure. But on the other hand, it is quite hard work. My main job and technical support for this site are much less labor-intensive than writing structured text. The posts on this blog require a lot of mental effort, concentration and perseverance from me. I'm not pouring out a random stream of consciousness on this site. Before my thoughts appear on the pages of this blog, they need to be combed, organized, organically woven into the overall structure and presented in the form of a ready-made, understandable and adapted text for readers.

After the article is finished, I feel a strong moral satisfaction, as if I had completed a difficult task, which this activity undoubtedly is. What helps me work at my main job and, throughout the whole year, provide readers with fairly voluminous articles? Let's talk about the principles that formed the basis of my work discipline. These principles will help you too.

Principle 1 - Set temporary work standards

Without a ready-made plan, it is difficult to force yourself to work. Therefore, you must learn to plan and stick to the plan. What approach should you use in business planning?

I tried two different approaches:

Make a plan for the amount of work for a certain time period. For example: I have to write 3000 words in a day and until I do this, I will not do anything else.
The second is to follow a fixed time standard. For example: I work for 4 hours, with three breaks of 10 minutes, then rest for an hour and work for another 1.5 hours. And it doesn’t matter how much work I did during this time.

I am convinced that the second approach is much more reasonable and effective than the first, now I will explain why:

Quality of work: if you strive to complete the work as quickly as possible, then quality may suffer as a result. If a person is tied to completing a certain volume, and not working on time, then there is no direct goal to complete the work. But, all the same, this person unconsciously strives to finish it as quickly as possible.

When I set myself standards like 3,000 words per day, I wanted to “get to the finish line” quickly, so I didn’t take long pauses to think about what I would write in a few paragraphs. This did not have a very good effect on the quality of the work: then it had to be redone.

I write different articles at different speeds, depending on my current state and the content of the article (for example, I wrote an article about quite quickly, despite the volume, but I can write some other text longer). So 4-5 hours may not be enough for me to write as much as I want.

Then I get tired, but I still need to work and fulfill the plan. If I'm tired, even my favorite activity can turn into torture for me. Then I do everything more slowly and forcefully, which also negatively affects the quality of work and leads to even greater fatigue.

Operating speed: in my opinion, if a person does not set time limits for himself and does not strive to complete something within a certain short period of time, then he completes the work at his natural speed while maintaining the proper quality of this work, provided that he is not distracted by anything. This speed can be defined by the transport term “cruising speed”.

For example, if I plan to write for 4 hours, then I'm not in much of a hurry. But at the same time, it cannot be said that because of this the work is going much slower. I'm still interested in getting the work done and so I get it done at a normal pace, I'm just not in a rush. Perhaps, in such a measured rhythm, the work moves a little slower than in a hurry and in an effort to finish as early as possible, but on the other hand, the quality does not suffer and fatigue decreases.

Imagine that you are flying on an airplane. This huge vessel, of course, can turn on the engines at full thrust (at cruising speed, the engines of a passenger aircraft operate at about 50% of their power, if I am not mistaken) and try to reach its destination before the planned arrival time. But this will lead to suboptimal fuel consumption: a lot of fuel will be burned. And, in addition, the pilot risks the safety of passengers when he goes beyond normal flight limits.

If the plane moves through the air in its normal mode, at cruising speed, then fuel costs will be minimal and travel conditions will be the safest for passengers. He will eventually reach his destination anyway.

I believe that it is better to work at your natural speed for a fixed period of time, without rushing or being distracted. Nevertheless, you will still achieve your goal, it will not leave you anywhere. You will simply use your resources more efficiently.

It will be better if you combine the two approaches described above in your work planning. Work for a fixed period of time, but at the same time, keep in mind the amount of the desired amount of work. Always look back at how much you ended up getting done. But this factor, I repeat, should not play a decisive role.

I’ll give an example from my practice: today I worked for 5 hours, but wrote only 700 words. It's very slow, what's the matter? I thought about the article for a long time, rewrote several paragraphs, then they interrupted me. It turns out I couldn't write it anymore today. So everything is fine, and I can finish here.

But it could have been different, I wrote so little because I myself was constantly distracted by all sorts of nonsense. If so, then tomorrow I will try to stick to the schedule more strictly so that the work moves faster.

Principle 2 - Start with the hardest problems

If you have the ability to complete your work tasks in any order, then start with what requires maximum effort. I start writing articles in the morning, and then I do all the other work on the blog: the technical part, promotion, communication, etc. There is no question that I write articles while tired. But I can correct the site code if I’m a little tired.

Principle 3 - Don't get distracted!

This is perhaps the most important rule you can read here. Guided by principle 1, plan a time interval (for example, 3 hours) during which you will work with breaks for rest. Close ICQ, Skype, and the Internet or use them only for work purposes.

Firstly, you may get carried away by some sudden activity and forget about work. I think that everyone has encountered such a situation when they wanted to get in touch for a minute to read a message, but this minute stretched into several hours of wandering around sites on the Internet.

Secondly, when you are distracted, the effectiveness of your work drops significantly, since upon returning to work you need to practically immerse yourself in work again.

Make it a rule that you should not engage in any side activities until your work time is over or your break hour has arrived. This principle is difficult to adhere to, but you need to strive for it.

As Neil Fiore advises in his book, if you want to get distracted and do some nonsense, for example, go to your VKontakte profile, before doing this, take 10 slow breaths. This will help you make smart decisions and remember that work will not get done faster if you are constantly distracted.

Principle 4 - If the work isn't going well, don't do anything.

Nothing works? Are you at a dead end? Tired of working? But you haven't completed your plan yet? Rest, relax. Relaxing does not mean checking your email or watching updates on social networks. Just move your chair away from the monitor (assuming you're working on a computer, of course) and relax. Try sitting like this for a few minutes without doing anything. Remember, no side effects until you complete the time plan!

Therefore, sit and keep in mind the thought that you cannot do anything other than work, since you promised yourself to work for several hours. After some time, some thoughts may come to you that will lead you out of the impasse that has created in your work. Out of boredom and inactivity, your hands will naturally reach for the keyboard and continue working.

If you have no choice but to work, then your brain will automatically return to this activity if you give it some time of rest. This rule helps me a lot. I often experience great temptations to give up everything and take a break. This especially happens in those moments when I can’t do something for a long time, for example, formulate some thought.

Then I throw my head back, relax and the thought itself comes to me. And if it doesn’t come, then I find other solutions, for example, focusing on another piece of work, and returning to this later.

Another possible solution to such situations is to move on to a less stressful job. If I get completely tired of writing an article, in order not to waste time, I start, for example, delving into the site’s code, or answering readers’ questions. Another way I can use this time is to sit back and think about what the next article will be about.

In short, if you have set a plan to work at least 5 hours, then use all this time profitably for work, even if you do not occupy this entire time period with your main activity.

If I can’t concentrate at all and any thoughts come to me, but not thoughts about work, I don’t try to force myself to concentrate, I just relax, watch and wait. After some time, all extraneous thoughts leave my mind and I can concentrate on work again. This is similar to the movement of a ball in a funnel: at first it rushes madly from edge to edge in this space, but then, under the influence of gravity, it inevitably falls into a narrow tube at the bottom of the funnel.

The main thing at this time is not to be interrupted by something extraneous, just sit and wait.

But if you are already very tired, then you do not need to push yourself to exhaustion unless absolutely necessary, even if you did not complete the plan! If I'm really tired, I finish work and can fool around and relax. If my body is tired, I give it a rest. But to get tired you need to work.

I’ll add that during a planned break from work, it’s better to give your head a rest than to surf the Internet. Go for a walk or just sit back in your chair, you'll be better rested and won't risk getting bogged down in some pointless activity.

Principle 5 - Keep your work area tidy

External order reflects internal order and vice versa. It is very difficult to gather your thoughts and work at a table littered with all sorts of rubbish. Clear out your workspace, not only physical, but also virtual: tidy up your computer, delete unnecessary files, scatter everything into folders instead of throwing it in a heap.

Principle 6 - Drink less coffee!

I know this sounds very strange, but not having the habit of drinking coffee every day improves performance, enhances concentration and allows you to set priorities correctly. You can read more about this in my article.

Principle 7 - Increase self-discipline

It's difficult to force yourself to do something if your willpower is poorly developed. In my article I gave some tips on how to achieve this.

The more developed your will, the easier it is to step over laziness, inaction and control the desires of your body (sleep, eat, fool around).

Conclusion - why didn’t I write anything about motivation?

I have listed the basic principles that help me in my main job and in my side activities. I did not touch upon, although articles of this kind often talk about how important motivation is without which, any work turns into torture.

Motivation is good, of course, but I prefer not to depend on it, because it is a transitory thing: sometimes it is there, sometimes it is not. It is impossible to feed on its fire constantly, so that work always brings pleasure. You will always encounter situations where you have to do something through force, and this is normal.

I love helping people and writing useful articles, I have great plans for this site and see working on it as my future work. Of course, this is a huge incentive and motivation. But, nevertheless, this desire cannot fuel me with work enthusiasm every day and every minute. When I have to work, I constantly fight my desires to fool around, listen to music or surf the Internet.

Enthusiasm is a temporary thing and its appearance does not always depend on us. On some days the work is in full swing, on others you don’t want to do anything. But willpower is not a transitory thing and we can control it! I prefer to rely on something permanent and something that I myself can influence, namely, my will, and not on an external stimulus! It's just more reliable. That's why I don't write about motivation.

Remember, the hardest part is getting started. But you just have to start working, overcome the initial braking moment of inertia, and the work will begin to boil and spin up like a flywheel!

If you don’t see any incentive or purpose in your work at all, then change your type of activity and look for your goal. But this will be the topic of a separate article.

Question from Sergey:

Hello, dear specialists!

I'll get straight to the point. For a long time I dreamed of getting a job as a programmer. Good salary + working conditions suit me. My dream has come true, I am studying at the Faculty of Information Technology by correspondence and have been working as a programmer for a whole year. But the problem is that I can't bring myself to do anything. At first everything was great. I was happy that I had finally found a job that suited me, but now it’s the other way around: I can’t bring myself to finish my studies (there are six months left) or to go to work (I go through force). Friends say, finish university, you will get a “paper”, but I don’t need a piece of paper, I need knowledge. But I can’t force myself to study. I'm thinking about quitting university and work and looking for something else to do. I understand that this is irresponsible, but I don’t have the strength to finish what I started. I am stuck. I have many desires: to make films, write scripts and the like. But I’m not sure if I can, do I have enough development? More precisely, does this correspond to the level of my development? How to determine?

Evgeniya Alekseeva answers:

Hello, Sergey!

I'll start from the end. If a person has some desires, then there are properties that ensure their possible realization. Therefore, if you want something, then, of course, you need to try and move in that direction.

It is important to understand your vectors and desires. Perhaps you don’t actually want to make a movie, but simply lack the implementation of the visual vector? It’s difficult for polymorphs now, desires are growing, filling all the vectors can be quite difficult.

Programming provides only a small filling to the sound, and it is clear that in the modern generation it is not a serious alternative to realizing the full potential of the sound vector. We have already grown to other heights. This deficiency may be the primary cause of your throwing.

However, there is no point in canceling implementation in professional activities. Of course, it is important to get a diploma.

Training in system-vector psychology helps many people specifically resolve this internal conflict associated with choosing a profession. Helps answer the main question “what do I need?” If I'm not mistaken, did you undergo training? Then it’s not for me to tell you in what and how the sound vector can realize itself now.

It is important to enjoy what is happening in your life. Non-realization, shortage (of course, primarily in the sound vector, but not only) lead to a state of apathy, hidden depression (primarily when the sound is unfulfilled).

The training will give you the push forward that you are waiting for and will help you get out of the jam. Is there enough strength? Is there enough development? If you don't try, you'll never know! :) But there is definitely potential.

Evgenia Alekseeva, Master of Philosophy, medical student

Written using training materials on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan

Chapter:

You need to complete an important project, prepare for a presentation, think over a company development strategy - in general, work. But wait... what about your friends on Facebook? Or maybe watch a TV series (just one episode!)? I wonder why beavers hit the water with their tail? We urgently need to read about this on the Internet! Sound familiar? 🙂 Why do we often put things off until later, how to fight laziness and create suitable conditions around ourselves for productive work? Let's try to figure it out.

Everyone expects something from you. Deadlines are quickly approaching. You're breaking out in a cold sweat, waiting for the inevitable, but you can't figure out how to force yourself to do something... You can imagine how much less stress, disappointment and guilt you would experience if you could just do what you don't want, but must? Not to mention, how much happier and more effective would you be?

The good news is that it is possible to cope with such a situation if you develop the right strategy and put in a little effort. But first things first.

Let's be clear: there is no laziness. "But why? – the reader may ask, “After all, everyone has felt it in their life!” As a rule, this word is used to describe reluctance to act and work. “I’m lazy,” says the person, and that’s it. But what does he really feel?

"I don't want to do it because I don't like it"

Not everyone likes the job. So, is it really necessary to quit a stable position because of this? Perhaps sometimes it is worth resorting to this option, but there is no need to rush. Think: what's good about your job? What element of creativity, your own style, can you bring into it to make your work more comfortable?

In most cases, even the most boring, routine work can be turned into a game and made, if not interesting, then at least not annoying. Don't like washing dishes? Turn on your favorite music, sing along to the performers, and you won’t even notice how you wash the last plate. Hate answering calls from unhappy customers? Try to imagine their faces and draw them on a piece of paper while talking. In a word, improvise!

Even in your favorite job there are difficulties or boring things, but it is worth remembering that you will never be able to work on inspiration alone. Many great writers, artists and other creative people created their works not only and not so much with the help of inspiration, but through daily practice. Remind yourself of what the result of your work will be, what positive things it will bring.

“I’m scared that I won’t achieve good results”

As soon as a new task appears on the horizon, you immediately have many questions. What if I can’t? Maybe I will be reprimanded or even fired if I fail? And if I don’t take this job, I won’t fail. Right?

Such doubts are already a failure: with such thoughts you admit that you cannot use your innate talents, abilities and experience. When you procrastinate, you don't believe in yourself.

If you put things off until later because you're afraid of messing things up, try looking at your work from a different angle. The phrase “What if it doesn’t work out?” undermines motivation for any movement forward. Try to focus on the value of the work done: even if the result turns out worse than expected, you will gain new experience and become a more sought-after employee.

“I can’t force myself to do anything because I don’t know where to start.”

We often get overwhelmed when faced with a difficult task. The best thing we can do is move forward. When a task is particularly complex, there is no point in wasting valuable time allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by its complexity.

At least start with something. Need to draw an illustration for a promising project? Give free rein to your imagination - sketch a couple of sketches, even if they are indirectly related to the main task. Need to prepare a report? Outline the draft in your own words, ignoring formal style. When you see that some result is already there, it will not be so difficult to continue and the question “How to overcome laziness and finally start working?” will not arise again.

“I'm scared to start work because I don't feel competent.”

This formulation is most often associated with low self-esteem. Of course, if you haven’t studied to become a steelmaker, you shouldn’t melt cast iron :) Nevertheless, people who have worked in it for many years often feel incompetent in some field. In this case, we can advise the following: try to be objective and write down your business qualities and professional knowledge on a piece of paper. Among them you will definitely find excellent help to complete your work.

As you can see, there are many reasons to put things off until later, and by dwelling on the word “laziness,” we deprive ourselves of understanding what internal mechanisms control us. If you try to thoughtlessly fight laziness using banal instructions, this will only lead to a waste of both physical strength and emotions. “Just do it” won’t work. If you do even simple work slowly and everything inside you resists any activity, ask yourself the question: “Why is this happening?”

How to focus on work and not get distracted

How to make your brain really work and not think about extraneous things? There are quite a few ways, so everyone will find something suitable. It is worth using several techniques in combination - this way you will get both positive emotions and an extremely good result.

You've probably noticed how difficult it is to concentrate on work without a well-thought-out plan. There are several approaches to planning cases. There are only two most important ones:

Decide on the amount of work to be done in a certain period of time. For example: “I have a report to complete in two hours and until I complete it I won’t do anything else.”
Follow the established schedule and do not pay much attention to the amount of work completed. That is: “I will work for four hours with breaks of fifteen minutes, and then I will work for another hour and a half, and it doesn’t matter how much I get done.”

These methods are suitable for different situations. If deadlines are tight, of course, it is necessary to monitor both time and the result of the work. But if you strive to complete the work as quickly as possible, its quality often suffers. And when the main task is to do something carefully and in detail, it is better not to rush and work through the material at a natural speed for you.

When a person brings himself to the point of exhaustion with difficult work, it does not make it easier for anyone. Don't beat yourself up even if you didn't complete the plan. If you really tried, there is no need to blame yourself - just think about how you could speed up your activities in the future, and allow yourself to rest.

Just five minutes!

Tell yourself that you will do just a little bit of work. Five minutes is an insignificant amount of time, right? But you will most likely get carried away with the process and work much more. And if not, it’s okay, you’re still one step closer to your goal :)

Stop distractions

Are you a fan of social networks? You urgently need to make edits from the customer, but you can’t take your eyes off the VKontakte news feed? If you are determined to develop discipline and work as efficiently as possible, then at first, various applications and browser extensions that limit access to unwanted sites for the required time can help.

“The song helps us build and live”

If you don't know how to get yourself into the mood for work, perhaps music will help. The choice of melodies depends on your tastes and perception: some people are put into a working mood by calm classics, while others are put in a good mood by loud club tracks. Choose songs with words in an unfamiliar or unfamiliar language or without words at all - otherwise you will be distracted by the content of the lyrics.

From complex to simple

Schoolchildren are often advised to do their homework for the most difficult and least favorite lessons first. This advice will come in handy not only at school, but also at work. Tackle the most difficult tasks in the first half of the day - firstly, in the morning you will be more energetic and effective, and secondly, hard work will not hang over you like a sword of Damocles until the evening.

If you have been working for a long time and are already very tired from strenuous activity, it may be worth switching to simpler tasks.

If you don't want to, don't work

Is everything falling out of hand? Don't know what decision to make? How to force yourself to work if you have no strength? And you don’t have to force yourself. Rest. Only relaxation does not mean checking email or social networks. Just relax, close your eyes, try to get rid of thoughts about work for a while. If your workplace allows, walk around the room a little and warm up.

In such moments of short rest, a worthwhile idea often comes. The main thing is not to give in to the temptation to quit everything and get distracted by another activity.

Small steps towards a big goal

Perhaps the Pomodoro method will help increase productivity. This method is named after the tomato-shaped kitchen timer and involves dividing the work into 25-minute chunks. Just follow these steps:

decide on the task that needs to be completed;
set a timer for 25 minutes. Try not to be distracted by anything;
when the time is up, take a short break of 5 minutes;
after every fourth pomodoro, take a long break of 15–30 minutes.

You can easily adjust this system to suit yourself and change the time of work and rest - just maintain concentration throughout each “pomodoro”.

In addition to improving concentration, this method also teaches you to “split” a large goal into its component parts. When you realize the scale of work on some global task, it often becomes scary to even think about it. And if you are faced with several small tasks, then it’s somehow easier to work.