How a woman can love herself: Simple tips. How to learn to love yourself? Memo for beautiful women

The attitude of others towards each of us depends on what we think about ourselves. If a woman wants to be respected and loved by others, she must love and respect herself. Otherwise, those around you will have a strange feeling - the woman seems to be good, but something is wrong with her... Even if you skillfully hide your dislike for yourself, people still feel it.

Most women understand that for successful life you need to be able to love yourself. But how to love yourself as a woman? There are simple tips that you can follow to learn to love yourself.

Recognize that you are special and unique

First of all, forget about your shortcomings. Moreover, in most cases they are far-fetched or significantly exaggerated. Your shortcomings are your characteristics.

Each of us is unique and unique, there is no one else like this and there never will be. And this is where your attractiveness lies. No one else has eyes, lips, or cheekbones like you. Take a closer look at yourself, see how beautiful you are.

Learn to take care of yourself

Each of us is familiar with the feeling of love, love for someone. But we don’t always know how to love ourselves. So how can a woman love herself?

Think about how you show love to another person. What do you do when you care for someone you love? It’s very good to make a list and try to do the same for yourself. Your attitude towards yourself, towards your body, towards your characteristics will change very quickly.

Recognize that you deserve the best

Try to understand that you deserve the best in everything. Whenever possible, pamper yourself. These don't have to be expensive things or services. Buy yourself, for example, a beautiful blouse or new lipstick. But this thing should please you, emphasize your beauty and uniqueness. You need to like yourself, so that you are pleased to see yourself in the mirror.

Feel well-groomed and seductive

Never deny yourself the opportunity to feel yourself beautiful. Nowadays, there are many pleasant procedures for this. Make yourself a list of 20 procedures that will help you be beautiful. Find time at least once a week or once a month for one of them.

By taking care of your body, you will feel your self-esteem increase. You will feel feminine, desirable, seductive. Once you love your body, you will be able to enjoy self-care.

Feel the beauty of female weakness

Many have heard the expression that feminine power lies in its weakness. A woman who feels attractive is not afraid to appear weak and ask for help. In her defenselessness, a woman seems more tender and feminine. Next to her, every man feels strong, courageous, and a protector. And if a man feels like a knight, he will be able to do everything possible and impossible for you.

Now you have an action plan called " as a woman" To make it easier to complete it, make a list for yourself. Distribute one thing for each day of the week that will help you love yourself. At the end of this week, you will feel how much your attitude towards yourself has changed.

We hope our article will help you. Write in the comments how often you pamper yourself. What do you do to feel beautiful, desired, and love yourself?

Did you come to this page by chance?

We always say that in order to love someone we must first learn to love yourself. This is so important to establish close connection with the most important person in your life - with yourself.

How you see yourself ultimately affects everything you do and every relationship you have. Love yourself is when you find peace in the deepest part of your being and you truly enjoy being in your own company. I don't think many people know what it really means "love yourself", so I'm going to explain exactly what I mean.

Be gentle with yourself

We tend to be our best and worst critics. We are so often hard on ourselves that we forget to take a step back and give ourselves a little break. It is normal for a woman to feel sad, hurt and afraid. We should not be ashamed when these feelings arise and try to ignore them or mask them bad habits. Sometimes people think that these feelings are a sign of weakness, but in reality they are a sign of strength.

It is important for a woman to be caring for herself and allow herself to feel exactly what she feels. While you are experiencing these feelings, remember that you are just a person. Life is hard, but if you really want to learn to love yourself, be gentle with yourself. You are you on the outside.

Don't ignore your experiences

Have you ever noticed that when you ignore your feelings or push them away, they tend to come back with such intensity that you almost can't resist being in your own skin? It's depressing to feel unhappy because these feelings make us think, and think a lot. That's why a woman must find a way to train her brain and completely repress these negative thoughts.

Have you ever talked to someone about their experiences in life that made them sad or hurt them? Most often, people answer: “I don’t want to talk about it” or “I’m pretending it never happened.” This is a perfect example of someone who does not allow himself to feel the experience of what is or was. They end up hurting themselves more. more grief and pain.

How can a woman learn to love herself? She must understand first of all that her feelings will tell her everything she needs to know in order to love and care for herself, she just has to listen to them.

Find out how to make yourself happy

You yourself make your relationship with a person more valuable and special. A woman should not rely on her partner or anyone else to make herself happy. You are sitting happily at home on a Friday night watching TV by yourself with a glass of wine and you are completely satisfied.

You are independent and you move to the beat of your own drum. You don't worry if sometimes your partner leaves without you because you know that in any case you need this time to be alone. You love to have something special in your life, but you know that this something can only add value to your life because you are truly happy with who you are.

You must learn to appreciate your strengths

You are smart, compassionate, and you have the ability to see things in a positive light. This is one of yours the most valuable benefits. In turn, this allows you, as a woman, to see positive traits in others, especially the qualities of your partner. You tend to notice positive things about them rather than picking away their weak points.

For a woman to learn to love herself, she should focus on her positive aspects ah and minimize the impact weaknesses on your mood and attitude towards yourself.

Realize that sometimes you need help too.

You Strong woman , but you recognize that everyone needs help sometimes, and you're not afraid to ask for it. You also recognize that it is important for your partner to feel needed in the relationship. If you can't reach something from the top shelf in the pantry, you call your partner from the other room to come and help you.

In the same way you must learn to overcome Hard times. You understand that you can't always cope on your own, and it's no problem for you to lean on your partner for help and support. This advice will also help you on your journey to learning to love yourself.

You shouldn't demand love, realize your importance to a person

Nowhere in your world do you demand to be loved or demand love in general. You know that love is given and received. You are selfless and give love to everyone around you. You are a woman, and you are in harmony with yourself, you easily express your feelings. You are able to express yourself to your partner with ease. You know that your feelings are important to him because you are important to him. You realize how much of a difference this makes to healthy communication with your partner.

It is so important to realize the meaning and the importance of a woman's love for herself. When you learn to love yourself, you will notice how much easier it is for people to love you, and for you to accept that love because you deserve it.

Valery Sinelnikov is a famous psychotherapist who created unique techniques on psychology, which affect the perception of oneself, wrote one of the excellent books called “How to learn to love yourself.”

Author— V.V. Sinelnikov
Name— How to learn to love yourself
The year of publishing — 2006

Buy a book V. Sinelnikov - “How to learn to love yourself” you can on the partner site "Litres"

How a woman can learn to love herself. Psychologist's advice

How often do you look at others with envy? happy women and trying to answer the question why everything in life is so uneven, illogical, inexplicable.

Why is it EVERYTHING for one, and only pitiful crumbs for you? At the same time, the other one is far from the most beautiful and worthy. At first glance she seems ordinary, but she is LOVED, APPRECIATED, WANTED. And your life, despite hard work and efforts, still won’t begin to sparkle with happy colors?

If a woman feels guilty, is dissatisfied with herself, is burdened by work, is irritated by her loved ones, relationships with men are not going well, in a word - something in life is very unsatisfactory, it’s time to START LOVE YOURSELF.

It would seem, what does one have to do with the other? What kind of self-love can we talk about when the problem is outside? A man lying in front of the TV or his absence, a job that does not bring pleasure, a feeling as if life is passing by. For the most part, this is what happens! It's easier for us to find external enemy rather than looking for problems inside.

How do women reason? You need to change your job, your man, your environment. Many change. So what's the result?

For a while, it will seem to you that life is getting better, but very soon the problems will return. New boss will begin to find fault, the new chosen one will relax, new friends will turn out to be no better than the old ones.

Why is this happening? Because, changing the picture outside, we subconsciously act according to the old scenario, we treat the symptoms, not the cause of the disease, so we inevitably step on the old rake.

We are afraid to admit that the problem is in ourselves, because we will have to live with this knowledge. But how? This is where the magic pill comes to the rescue - SELF-LOVE.

There is another extreme: the woman understands that the problem is with her. It seems that he is trying to become better, developing, in a relationship with a man he is making efforts to ensure that everything is ok, but “for some reason” he does not appreciate it. Do you know why? In these efforts, the woman, again, forgot ABOUT HERSELF.

What is self-love?

Self-love is not narcissism, not inflated self-esteem, not selfishness.

Self-love is positive SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

I'll explain it simply. Self-acceptance is a state when a person accepts himself as he is, with all his advantages and, most importantly, disadvantages, without judging, without feeling remorse or guilt.

We contact the world through the prism of our own “I”. Agree, if you allow yourself to tell a lie, another person’s lie will not become a mortal sin for you. You can accept this fact, because you yourself sometimes sin like this. By accepting your own shortcomings, you are more tolerant of the shortcomings of others.

It turns out that the BETTER a person treats himself, the better he treats others.

If everything is so simple, you ask, why doesn’t everyone manage to love themselves?

The answer, like many things in this life, is rooted in childhood.

The trouble is that back side medals - SELF-LOVE - arises in infancy against our will and continues to live until we ourselves realize the problem and begin to move in small steps towards ourselves.

Why don't women love themselves?

Reason #1 – parents

The seeds of self-dislike are planted by parents. All mentally normal mothers and fathers love their children. With the best intentions, wanting to be members of society, they scold, punish, and prohibit.

At these moments, their love is securely hidden deep inside, and at the exit the child sees only dislike. Remember what they called you as a child:

Lazy

Hands grow from the wrong place

Disorderly...

It's no secret that every person hears what he wants to hear. The psyche involuntarily sets filters. From a wealth of information, a child begins, like a sponge, to absorb facts that confirm unflattering reviews about him. As a result, he becomes convinced that he is not just NOT loved. They don't deserve to love him.

The dirty deed is done. Without knowing it, parents lay down COMPLEXES that haunt us throughout our lives, largely determining its course.

Reason #2 – I = society

The second source of self-dislike is added to adolescence. A teenage girl begins to distinguish between the concepts of “I” and “They” and evaluate both them and herself. The evaluation logic is simple. Like in the cartoon - whoever praises me the best will give him more sweet candy. If those around her are friendly, tolerant, sympathetic, and attentive to her, they are perceived as a plus. If they are aggressive, edifying, critical - with a minus sign.

The point is that a person evaluates HIMSELF according to the same criteria by which he values ​​others. By doing bad things to others, one’s own psyche evaluates oneself negatively and rejects oneself. A person who acts negatively from the point of view of generally accepted norms does not love himself.

How can a woman learn to love herself?

Loving yourself is difficult. Self-acceptance is not self-admiration, not the automatic repetition of “I am the most charming and attractive.” This is constant conscious activity on your thoughts, judgments, and actions. But... Water wears away stones.

1. Try to understand the reason for parental negativity, which you suffered from as a child and continue to experience now. It has nothing to do with your personal qualities.

Your parents were afraid for you and your life, they dealt with it ineptly. with your own feelings. They felt bad. They need to be understood, forgiven, and in the future treated as you would treat a person whose poor health, mental confusion, and problems are obvious to you. Treat with sympathy, understanding, care. Over time, your self-acceptance is guaranteed to increase.

2. Make room for the good.

Write letters to the past. Parents, if there is resentment towards them. which may have caused a lot of pain.

In the first letter you pour out all the negativity, resentment, pain, anger, claims, criticism. Unload everything from the inside onto paper. Then you crumple this letter and burn it.

Write the second letter with gratitude for all the good things this person has given you. For experience, for growth. It would not be superfluous to apologize for your imperfection. This letter can be photographed and sent to a person for him to read.

Often thanks to such letters it is possible to leave.

3. Take care of yourself!

I never get tired of repeating this phrase. A man does not appreciate a woman, a man “wipes his feet on her,” a man does not see the woman’s efforts, he finds fault, irritated? Take care of yourself, your body, your appearance, your enjoyment of this life.

But not with the aim of taking revenge on the man or teaching him a lesson. And for myself. After all, no one really needs us until we need ourselves, first of all.

4. Do good deeds for no reason

Compliment people, find the good in them, highlight it. Help those people who are not able in this life (already or so far) to help themselves (orphans, disabled people, the elderly). For what?

To realize your own worth. That you, as you are now, are useful to this world. And in general, the meaning of life is to make it better. Starting with whom? That's right, from yourself.

5. Get rid of people who drag you down

We are the arithmetic average of our environment. “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.”

I remember myself when I arrived in Kyiv from the provinces. Being an insecure guy, I strived for better, for development. And there were friends, after communicating with whom I felt bad at heart, around whom I felt unhappy. Limit communication with such people.

Surround yourself with people luckier than you or others who strive for better things just like you.

6. Change your lifestyle

Hence, self-esteem and self-love will increase. Before you know it, one day you will forget that you once didn’t love yourself (as happened in my life).

Conclusion:

Self-love is something without which all women’s efforts in relationships with men come to nothing. Some women continue to accuse men of ingratitude and their imperfection, and some women have the courage to suspect that perhaps the reason is in themselves.

Take the path of self-love. I gave instructions above. I went through all of this personally. If I could do it, so can you.

Thank you and see you in the next articles.

Write in the comments the first three steps you will take towards increasing your self-esteem.

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Recently a girl came to me for a consultation. Outwardly quite attractive, produces good impression. Therefore, the question she asked me sounded unexpected to me: “How to love yourself?” I hear this question from my clients quite often. Moreover, almost every time I have to observe how bad attitude towards oneself, non-acceptance of oneself, self-criticism have a negative impact on people’s lives, depriving them of joy and the opportunity to enjoy themselves and the world around them.

To love or not to love... that is the question!

I completely share the point of view that what better person treats himself, the more likely he is to become successful and achieve his goals. Good attitude towards oneself increases the likelihood of achieving heights, for example, in professional field. Loving yourself means being in harmony with yourself and the world around you, feeling confident and attractive, respecting yourself and your desires, carrying positive charge felt by people around.

Dissatisfaction with oneself deprives a person of the ability to enjoy life, often leads to low mood or even causes . A person who does not love himself cannot love someone else, so a common problem for such people is , inability to build productive relationships with others, lack of friends. Self-dislike is often associated with , which is fraught with dissatisfaction with oneself, one’s appearance, lack of self-confidence, constant voltage and a feeling of worthlessness.

What does it mean to love yourself?

It is important to understand that loving yourself does not mean being selfish. Self-love is a deep acceptance of oneself as a person, as an individual, self-respect and a sense of inner well-being. Self-love in this sense should also not be confused with narcissism, which is expressed through empty narcissism and excessive demonstration of one’s ego to others.

The main desire!

As soon as you decide to change your attitude towards yourself and love yourself, the process of change will be launched. However, this is not an easy job, and you need to understand that it takes some time. You won’t be able to fall in love with yourself instantly with the wave of a magic wand. Make adjustments to your appearance quickly and easily, but truly accept and love your inner world it can be very difficult. The process of accepting yourself takes time, but how much depends only on your desire and your readiness for change. So where to start?

Take care of your appearance

Let's start with what, in my opinion, is the easiest to change and transform - your appearance. Very often, dissatisfaction with oneself is strongly connected with dissatisfaction with one's own appearance. Moreover, it can be like real problems, and imaginary. Many appearance flaws can be easily corrected the right choice clothes that suit your figure, use of cosmetics, etc. It is important to always take care of your appearance - you do not have to be dressed in the latest fashion in trendy things. The main thing is that these are clothes that you like and add confidence to yourself, and your appearance overall it was neat and well-groomed. Take an extra 10 minutes to iron your clothes, do your hair, apply makeup, and put your shoes in order before leaving the house. Use perfume, choose a pleasant aroma that will inspire you. Don't neglect accessories: beautiful watch or a comfortable handbag will once again cause you positive emotions, lifting your spirits and adding self-confidence.

Your mood and the way you think determine your internal content, and as a result, your view of the world. There is a lot of dissatisfaction with oneself negative emotions, such as irritation, anger, despair, etc. Get in a positive mood, learn to enjoy the little things, and the world will sparkle with bright colors for you (I wrote about how to improve your mood in the article« » ).

Watch your thoughts. Cut off all the negative epithets that come to your mind: “I’m so ugly,” “I’m so fat, I’m just terrible,” “I’m a loser, I’ll never succeed,” etc. With an effort of will, change these phrases to positive ones that add confidence and a sense of inner well-being, for example: “I am special,” “I can achieve my goal,” “I accept myself and love who I am.”

Move forward, don't stay in one place for too long. Develop yourself physically (playing sports) and intellectually (reading books, training programs or advanced training courses). Find an activity or hobby that you like that will inspire you and fill you with energy and pleasure. Praise and encourage yourself for any, even the most minor achievements. Learn to appreciate everything in your life. Special attention give yours strong qualities— use them as a support to achieve your goals. If it is difficult to discover the advantages in yourself on your own, turn to friends and loved ones for help. Ask them to make a list of your positive aspects. I am sure you will be surprised by the result - those around you will certainly find many advantages in you! Accept compliments and praise - this will help build self-confidence. Learn to view criticism not as an insult, but as an opportunity to improve.

Accept your past

Very often, self-dissatisfaction can be related to what you are experiencing for some mistakes or events in the past. Try to look at the events of the past not as a failure, but as an invaluable experience that made you stronger and allowed you to become who you are now. The very awareness of a mistake made is already work on oneself, it helps to understand and become closer to oneself. But it is important not to get hung up on it, but to move forward, taking into account the experience gained in your present and future life(I wrote about how to accept your past in the article« » ).

Listen to your desires

Give yourself permission to do what you want and enjoy. We are not talking about any illegal actions or antisocial behavior. I mean inner freedom, the opportunity to choose, listen to yourself, and not follow the lead of others. When performing any action, think: do you really want this? For example, when you buy some not entirely necessary thing in a store, you do it of your own free will, orso as not to upset the seller ? Or are you going to a party because you really want to, or just because all your friends will be there? There are things that go against your inner beliefs or values, and it is important to notice them. When you do something against your desire or compromise your principles, you experience unpleasant feelings (tension, anger, sadness, dissatisfaction). They may not immediately become noticeable to you, but as they accumulate, they bring a lot of discomfort and, as a result, dissatisfaction with yourself. Sometimes it can be very difficult to distinguish your desire from the imposed one. In this case, it is necessary to develop internal sensitivity and the ability to hear your own inner voice(I wrote about how to do this in the article« » ).

Surround yourself with nice people

Think about what kind of people surround you? How do you feel around them? Do they fill you with energy and positivity, or do they only cause negative emotions, feelings of guilt or fear, humiliate or suppress you? Do you understand how these people got into your life and why they stay in it for so long? Give up relationships with people with whom communication does not bring you any pleasure or satisfaction, with whom you are uncomfortable interacting. Or try to reduce contacts with them to a minimum (if, for example, your relationship is due to functional necessity). This process takes time and requires effort. But if you set such a goal for yourself, you will definitely achieve it. Build relationships with people who inspire you, fill you with energy and positivity, from whom you want to follow an example and change in better side.

There is no need to look for a reason to love yourself!Want to be happy man- be it! Fill up your life positive emotions, good mood, nice people, bright events - and you will notice how your attitude towards the world and yourself will change for the better. And the world, in turn, will definitely answer you in kind.

I want to invite all women to a special one. It’s about how a woman can love herself, become more confident, cope with life’s difficulties, and be in harmony with herself and the world around her! The ABC of Women training program can be viewed.

Taking care of you, Gestalt therapist.

It is generally accepted that the absence of such warm sympathy and its expression leads to a loss of inner harmony, an uncomfortable feeling and a lack of simple joys in life. A person begins to reproach himself, dig around, educate, engaging in all sorts of activities for change and re-education.

The prevailing idea of ​​self-love and personal comfort zone makes one think about how beautiful such love is and what the terrifying consequences of its absence are. We strive in every possible way to acquire this dear feeling, not noticing that we are already endowed with it by nature, and we do not think about whether it is harmful or whether it is time to rename it, or, scary to even think about, completely eradicate it.

Now let's try to describe a woman who loves herself. What is she like? What does it look like? What kind of life does he lead?

Well-groomed, with skillful makeup and hair, fresh manicure, clean, tastefully selected, expensive clothes, a fit, slender body, leaving behind a trail of expensive perfume. Prestigious job, worthy wage, knowledge of languages, broad outlook, travel. Such a lady daily catches the longing glances of men and the admiring, often envious glances of women. She knows exactly what she wants, does not waste time, because she values ​​every minute of her beautiful life, filled with herself - after all, she loves herself. Does he love you?

It is common to think that such an attitude towards oneself is called neither respect nor reverence, but love.

Grueling workouts proper nutrition, diets, restrictions, selective relationships with men and selective dating. Complete prohibitions, choices and infringements.

Does this border on love, or what does self-love given by nature do to a woman?

What motivates an overweight young lady as she greedily eats her seventh cake in front of the TV? What motivates her on her way to the refrigerator after six for another cutlet? What makes you eat a greasy sandwich with generously sugared tea in the morning instead of oatmeal? Where does this eating habit come from? Out of reluctance to refuse a tasty morsel. Out of the inability to say a firm NO to yourself. Because I, my beloved, my dear, who adores every fold of my belly, cannot help but pamper myself. Because... I love myself.

It’s easier to eat high-calorie and unhealthy foods - you don’t need to look for original recipes, limit your diet, or monitor your diet. And lettuce leaves, at first glance, don’t look as appetizing as pizza with salami. We try to simplify our lives purely out of self-love. Blind and unrequited - because our body, filled with cholesterol and fast carbohydrates, is unlikely to reciprocate in the absence of cellulite. Quite the contrary.

A woman who...loves herself has a thousand reasons not to take care of her body. There is no money for the gym, no time to train, no sports uniform and no opportunity to purchase it, after training the muscles hurt unbearably, and the result is slow and questionable. Programs for home workouts are just a waste of time, and lounging in bed is much more pleasant than exercising at dawn. Our NOs are the fruit of blind self-love.

Watching TV is much easier than learning languages ​​and reading books, you don’t have to think, the brain is filled with useless information, and it seems there is no room in it for intelligent grain, for an educational encyclopedia, for interesting book, for an entertaining program about animals and nature. The hard drive of consciousness is filled with heroes of soap series, tearful stories about someone else's unrequited love, and 0 gigabytes of free memory for hundreds of new words in English and foreign grammar rules. And by the way, what a boring article, where is the TV remote control, MY FAVORITE program is about to start.

Get higher education on your own - labor and time, perhaps loving person Will he force himself to work hard and will he waste precious time sitting in libraries, memorizing subjects unnecessarily, straining his brains, sharpened by self-love.

A prestigious job is not for those who love themselves. When faced with the unknown, you have to experience discomfort, expand your usual boundaries, listen to the instructions of your superiors, climb career ladder, that there is strength. It is much easier to make coffee for a manager who clearly does not like himself, since as punishment he chooses a ten-hour working day, a lot of trainings, conferences, new acquaintances and receives a payment with four zeros after the decimal point as a reward. That’s what he needs, he must be lucky in at least something - boundless self-love is enough for me.

Oh yes, where is the TV remote control and chips, after six o'clock backbreaking labor on VKontakte, can I finally get a well-deserved, worthy rest.

A man who has “ruined his whole life,” a dunce, a drunkard and an ignoramus is the choice of a woman who loves herself. And in no other way, she will not allow herself to be an outcast in society, catch the sympathetic glances of happily married friends and continue to remain alone. And how nice it is to then lament fate, which did not love her as much as, of course, she loves herself. Otherwise, what can lead a man who remains unhappy for several years, suffering misunderstandings, radical differences of views, inattention and absence from a man. Apparently, self-love is enough to maintain such a relationship.

Looking in the mirror in the morning, carefully examining the person who stands in front of you, think carefully about what you would like to say to him? And if the daily training “I love myself” has not brought the desired results for a long time, isn’t it time to change the wording or at least think about whether I love myself correctly?

Evgenia Adamova, founder of the Women's Development Center "Secrets of Slavyanka", author of training programs aimed at holistic development harmonious state of Woman.

Today you can often come across a distorted concept of “I love myself” and it can manifest itself in exactly one of the above ways.

What is the difference between “love myself” and “pamper my body”?

In the second meaning, pampering my body, we do everything that brings pleasure to our physical body, decorating, washing, clothing and filling with delicious things. Our brain requires all this to consciously choose the quality of material life. The thoughts of such a person are aimed more at the result of the process he is launching, and not at the pleasure of the process itself.

In the first meaning, self-love comes from the relationship with your higher Self, your Soul. And interaction in this direction will not allow you to harm your body either with harmful foods, or strict diets, or quarrels with difficult people and even “last minute orders”. A person who knows, listens to his Soul and trusts his feelings often exchanges exhausting work for creative work and devotes his life to studying the process of life itself, and himself as a single whole in this Universe.

The difference is that all the methods described are a manifestation of love for your physical body. And self-love lies in the need to continue to take care of your body, choosing with your mind suitable conditions for the home of the soul.