Coming out means. What does the word mean

The sexual revolution gave men and women the freedom to choose sexual partners. This was the impetus for the creation of same-sex couples. At the same time, new concepts appeared concerning certain aspects of the life and behavior of people with non-traditional sexual orientation. As a rule, these words are of foreign origin and are not entirely understandable to citizens who are far from the “blue” and “pink” themes.

For example, not everyone knows what coming out is. How does it differ from the similar concept of “outing”. Meanwhile, in certain circles this is a frequently used expression, which even has its own holiday in the year. But first things first.

What is coming out?

This word is borrowed from the English language and translated means “opening”, “coming out of the closet”. A man or woman who openly and, very importantly, voluntarily admits their non-traditional sexual orientation or their relationship to a gender minority, commits an act called coming out. As a rule, this definition is applied to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals (abbreviated as LGBT) who openly admit their sexual preferences or that their body does not correspond to their mental state.

Outing is also the exposure to public view of the fact of an unconventional personal life, but by other persons in a violent form, against the will of the homosexual himself. Usually this is done in order to discredit a person, ruin his reputation, career, change people’s attitude towards him, because homophobic sentiments are present in any country. Even in modern society, not all people are ready to open the doors to their bedroom, but there are also those who deliberately arrange a public coming out in order to attract attention and gain extra popularity, while being heterosexual individuals. This phenomenon is very common in show business.

Some historical facts

The first time people thought about the basic idea of coming out was in 1869. This was done by a German lawyer and journalist defending the rights and interests of minorities, Karl Heinrich Ulrichs. He was of the opinion that if you want to become noticeable, you need to loudly declare yourself through coming out. The significance of this act, according to the German, is great; an open homosexual will be able to exert greater influence on people and enjoy authority.

The first public important person who was not afraid to tell the truth about himself was the American poet Robert Duncan. He came out and was soon dismissed from the army. After that, in one of the magazines, he stated that minorities were oppressed in the country and throughout the world.

In the mid-20th century, the concept of “coming out”, thanks to psychologist Evelyn Hooker, who devoted many of his works to the study of gay communities, ceased to be jargon, moving into the section of scientific terminology.

The importance of coming out

Moral satisfaction from life occurs only if a person lives in complete harmony not only with himself, but also with society. To achieve this result, you need to muster up the courage and openly declare your sexual preferences. If a man or woman is truly homosexual, they have accepted this fact and are confident in their choice, then there is no need to hide it, camouflage it with heterosexual relationships, even marriage against their will for the sake of society. This negatively affects the mental state of the individual. Only coming out can help here. The meaning of what has been done will have a positive impact on your state and mood, and long-awaited relief will come.

This is in case of understanding on the part of the audience. But, as practice shows, this is not always the case. That is why there is a lot of literature on the topic “what is coming out”, how and when is the best time to do it. One of the most famous is a manual written by the American organization Parents, Families and Friends of Gays and Lesbians.

Recognition process

Coming out is a complex multi-step process. Psychologists advise gradually revealing your sexual orientation to everyone, preferably starting with a close friend or family member with whom you are most warm and strong. It often happens that all his colleagues and friends know about a person’s unconventionality, but close relatives have no idea. Sometimes it’s easier to tell someone else than your own.

Some dedicated to coming out and a person’s general openness to society have shown that the less a person hides from others, the less he has to lie, be nervous, and worry.

Confession to parents

One of the most difficult stages of coming out is confession to parents. They are unable to receive information correctly and with understanding. Parents are shocked to learn that their child is not like everyone else. They need time and help from a psychologist. Most parents refuse to accept this fact and may punish their children, ignore them, kick them out of the house, or abandon them. Some people try to avoid any conversations related to sexual topics for some time, believing that all this is a whim, a cost of age, and if you don’t focus on it, then everything will go away by itself.

Other parents seriously consider homosexuality to be a disease and begin treating their children with reparative therapy. With all these actions, mothers and fathers cause serious harm to the child’s psyche, only escalating the situation.

2013 - the year of coming out

October 11 is considered the official day when everyone remembers what coming out is, and also observes public confessions of not only friends, relatives, but also important famous people from the stage. The number of LGBT politicians, musicians, athletes and actors is growing from year to year, which suggests that people are less and less afraid of popular condemnation, and unconventional choices are becoming the norm. We can safely say that in 2013 we did not limit ourselves to one day of recognition, extending it for 365 days.

It is impossible to talk about all the confessions, there are a huge number of them, but here are the most expected and loud statements:

Jodie Foster came out during her awards ceremony at the Golden Globes.
American actor Wentworth Miller announced his homosexuality in a letter refusing to come to Russia, since there are many homophobes here.
British diver Tom Daly made a video with his confession and posted it on the Internet.
The Canadian actor and singer admitted that he is gay and has been in a relationship with a man for 14 years.
NBA basketball player Jason Collins, who decided that he needed to be honest with everyone.
Filipino singer Charrisse.
Robbie Rogers has come out as gay and retired from football.
Irish actor Andrew Scott, who stopped learning Russian from V.V. Putin’s speeches after he issued a homophobic law.
Professor of Psychiatry Dinesh Bugra.
Figure skater Brian Boitano.

What does coming out mean? A concept that has recently become a popular topic of discussion in society. In Western countries, mainly in the USA, the history of the issue goes back more than one hundred and fifty years. For Russia it is relatively new and unusual. Let's try to find out what coming out means and how true the usual ideas about it are.

What does coming out mean?

The popular figure of speech, coming out, originates from the phrase “coming out of the closet,” which literally translates from English as “come out of the closet.” The generally accepted meaning of this phrase is “to open up.” In the mid-twentieth century, psychologist Evelyn Hooker added it to the list of scientific terms; the concept became a popular topic of research for psychologists and sexologists. Initially, it was used in relation to people with non-traditional sexual orientation - lesbians, gays, bi- and transsexuals. Over time, the word began to be used in a broader sense: any public statement by a person about his personal properties or preferences that go against generally accepted norms.

Attention! Coming out should not be confused with the concept of “outing,” which implies the same disclosure of personal information, but without the consent of the person himself.

What does it mean to come out?

The reason why people come out is not the only one. Usually, a sincere announcement to others about one’s “unconventionality” is only the end of a long and difficult inner journey. Once, having realized his own inclinations, attractions, hidden and openly condemned by society, such a person experiences many crisis moments until he finally decides to confess. Usually, the path of recognition begins with a conversation with the closest people - friends or close relatives. Then, this circle can be expanded. Often a person has to come out many times, coming into contact with new circumstances and people throughout life.

From year to year, English words or neologisms are being introduced into the culture of the Russian-speaking population. This neologism includes the expression coming out. We will analyze in detail what this phrase means in simple words on this page.

Content:

Definition

Coming out (English: coming out - disclosure, act of coming out)- public recognition of a person’s non-traditional sexual orientation. The expression coming out (emphasis on a) comes from the full Coming Out of the Closet (literal translation: coming out of the closet), which can be interpreted as an allegory of “breaking out of the dark forces,” that is, freeing yourself from the heavy concealment of the truth, stopping having complexes and recognizing your non-traditional orientation.

The term coming out applies to lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender people (LGBT) who do not hide or want to open their craving for a non-traditional sexual orientation.

History of origin

Thanks to the sexual revolution, men and women are given freedom to choose sexual partners. People stopped being afraid and complex about this, same-sex marriages began to appear. As a result of this, new concepts have appeared in society that describe certain aspects of the lives of individuals with non-traditional sexual orientation. Thanks to this, coming out arose.

In 1969, German lawyer Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, who defends the rights of sexual minorities, argued that to quickly gain popularity and gain authority, it is enough to come out. He said that after disclosing your sexuality to the public, you can have a significant influence on people.

The pioneer in “recognition” was the poet Robert Duncan, originally from the USA. But after such a statement, he received not popularity, but dismissal from the US armed forces. The poet was indignant and began to actively defend the rights of oppressed sexual minorities.

Soon, the concept of coming out ceased to be jargon and became the use of scientific terminology. For this, we can thank Evelyn Hooker, who devoted most of his life to studying gay communities.

Celebrity coming out

Basically, famous people decide to take such a step for several reasons:

difficulty or reluctance to hide one's orientation in public life;
a tactical PR move to attract more attention (hype) to your person.

Among the celebrities who decided to come out are:

Jaden Smith- the son of Hollywood actor Will Smith came out at a concert by rapper Tyler, telling everyone that the rapper was his boyfriend. Many people considered this to be trolling and did not believe this statement, since neither the first nor the second had previously advertised their personal lives.
Kirill Bledny- the lead singer of the Ukrainian rock band “Vulgar Molly” came out live on Instagram. The singer has repeatedly questioned his sexuality, so many are 100% sure of this disclosure.
Maxim Vitorgan- Ksenia Sobchak’s husband and the father of their little child came out with the words “I give up! That’s it, I’m gay.” After this, the Russian actor and director divorced Ksenia and plunged headlong into work.
Harry Styles- the ex-soloist of One Direction performed the song “Medicine” at a concert in Paris, touching on this topic. He sang “Guys and girls - I communicate with both. And I’m not ashamed of it.”
Rami Malek- actor, well known for his role in the TV series "Mr. Robot" and for his role as Freddie Mercury in the film "Bohemian Rhapsody". Many viewers of the film, after watching it, might have thought that Rami had come out, as he perfectly fit into the role of Freddie Mercury, who did come out. But no, there were no official sources about Rami Malek’s confession.

How to come out?

Psychologists who practice this area say that it is necessary to prepare for coming out gradually. First you need to confess to the person closest to you. The one you trust. If there are no close people among your circle of trust, the option of working with a stranger can also be considered. Sometimes it's much easier for a stranger to speak up. The coming out process consists of the following steps:

Sleep with the thought of the “act of coming out” and comprehend the consequences.
Mentally imagine the reaction of others after this action.
Choose a recognition method. Public figures did this in different ways: on stage in a comic form; seriously, live; casually singing a song. You should only choose the form of notification, be it a joke, a casual word or a serious conversation.
Be prepared for the consequences, as others may perceive the disclosure negatively.
Choose the first person to tell about it.
Coming out to another person or group of people.

Conclusion

For many people, coming out is a difficult decision, akin to leaving their comfort zone. But the struggle of concealing one’s sexual orientation in one’s own social circle sometimes leads to a bad mood and depression. Sometimes, coming out is a solution that will allow you to take a heavy load off your shoulders. But psychologists do not recommend taking such a step until you weigh the pros and cons.

Today, October 11, LGBT people around the world celebrate International Coming Out Day—the voluntary recognition of belonging to a sexual or gender minority. In honor of this, let's remember the most high-profile coming outs in the world - from Sir Elton John to the vampire's lover Kristin Stewart.

Elton John

Year of coming out: 1976

The British musician was the first modern celebrity to admit his bisexuality. He did this in an interview with Rolling Stone magazine. This statement, which had no precedent in the history of popular music, caused a noticeable drop in sales of his CDs among the heterosexual majority and had a negative impact on his popularity in those years.

Later he had a marriage with a woman, which ended in drug addiction for him. He later admitted that he married his assistant “as a cover.”

He and his husband, David Furnish, have been together for 24 years. They have two sons from a surrogate mother.

Ian McKellen

Year of coming out: 1988

British actor Ian McKellen (the wizard Gandolf in The Lord of the Rings) spoke about his sexual orientation live on the air of a radio station. This is how he voiced his opinion on the bill banning the promotion of homosexuality. Since then, he has openly and actively defended the rights of LGBT people.

This did not stop Sir Ian McKellen from receiving a knighthood from the Queen of Great Britain herself and playing a huge number of memorable roles such as Magneto in the X-Men film series.

The actor also starred in the TV series “Sinners,” where he plays the role of an elderly gay man. By the way, his partner on the set was Sir Derek Jacobi, who is also openly gay.

Angela Davis

Year of coming out: 1997

John Lennon and the Stones sang about her, Soviet pioneers wrote letters to her, tens of thousands of people took to the streets, expressing their solidarity with her. Champion of the oppressed, Angela Davis became a symbol of freedom. But she decided to admit her homosexuality only at 53 years old.

She did this in an interview with Out magazine. There was no noisy reaction to this. Until now, few people know about the orientation of the famous human rights activist.

Ellen DeGeneres

Year of coming out: 1997

In the same year, the famous American TV presenter Ellen DeGeneras made a similar admission. The coming out took place not just anywhere, but on the talk show of the no less famous Oprah Winfrey.

Among Ellen's most famous novels were her love relationships with actress Anne Heche, photographer Alexandra Hadison, and, finally, the presenter found her happiness next to actress Portia De Rossi.

In 2008, California lifted its ban on same-sex marriage, and in August the couple sealed their relationship with marriage vows. The ladies had a modest wedding at home, inviting only family and close friends.

Jodie Foster

Year of coming out: 2007

Winner of two Oscars, Jodie Foster came out when she was 44. At the Golden Globe Awards, she openly stated that she had been living with her producing partner Sydney Bernard for 14 years. At that time, the actress already had two sons.

Six months after this confession, the couple broke up. Jodie's new lover was screenwriter and producer Cindy Mort. She also dated Sophie B. Hawkins.

In April 2014, media reported that Foster entered into a same-sex marriage with photographer and actress Alexandra Hedison. The private ceremony took place in Los Angeles.

Ricky Martin

Year of coming out: 2010

In the late 90s, Puerto Rican singer Ricky Martin was listed as one of the most desirable men in the world. For more than 10 years, the performer hid from his millions of fans that he preferred men.

Martin made the confession on March 29, 2010, publishing a message on his website in two languages, Spanish and English, that he was no longer ready to hide the truth and that he was very lucky to be who he is.

As the portal “Guys PLUS” previously wrote, in January 2018, singer Ricky Martin with artist of Kurdish-Armenian origin Jwan Yosef

Frank Ocean

Year of coming out: 2012

Frank Ocean became one of the first rap artists to admit that he prefers men. He did this on US Independence Day - July 4, 2012. Frank wrote on his blog that his first love was a heterosexual.

“Four years ago I met a man. I was 19 years old. Him too. In those days that we were together, time seemed to dissolve. For most of the day all I saw was him and his smile. We often fell asleep together. When I realized that I had fallen in love with him, it was terrible. Because it's hopeless. One day I sat down and told him everything I felt. I started crying because the words wouldn't come out of my mouth. I was deeply saddened. He patted me on the back and said some encouraging things. He behaved wonderfully, but could not answer me in kind,” he wrote

The rapper's coming out was supported by his music colleagues. In particular, they say that Beyoncé even dedicated one of her compositions to him.

Cynthia Nixon

Year of coming out: 2012

This actress became famous when she won the role of Miranda in the hit series Sex and the City. For years, Nixon dated only men, but in 2004 she began an affair with political activist Christine Marinoni.

In 2012 they officially got married. At the same time, Nixon openly admitted that she was bisexual. This is such a romantic way to come out.

Tim Cook

Year of coming out: 2014

Apple CEO Tim Cook admitted that he is gay in his column on the Bloomberg Businessweek website.

“It [homosexuality—author’s note] has given me the skin of a rhinoceros, which is useful to have if you’re the CEO of Apple,” Cook wrote.

Rumors about the orientation of the head of Apple have been circulating for a long time, but no one expected Cook to come out so demonstratively. On social networks, the publication was accompanied by admiration for the courage of the top manager.

Kristen Stewart

Year of coming out: 2016

In May 2016, the star of the film “Twilight” gave a frank interview to one of the American publications, in which she admitted her bisexuality. Then she confirmed that she had been dating special effects designer Alisha Cargile for a long time.

“I think I’ve always been like this. And if you don’t accept this, then forgive me, I’m not ready to convince you,” said the actress. — To be honest, I never try to deliberately hide from the paparazzi. In my opinion, it’s great that my fans see that I don’t hide my sexuality. I'm always real," she said.

In addition to Cargile, Stewart dated the French singer and actress Soko, and she also had a short affair with the singer and producer St. Vincent, who worked on the soundtrack to Stewart's directorial debut. Since the end of 2016, he has been dating model Stella Maxwell.

Hello, dear readers of the blog site. Today I propose to talk about such a sensitive topic as sexual minorities. Or rather, what the term coming out is.

This expression came to us from the West and is already widely used both in the press and among bloggers and ordinary people. However, not everyone understands what it means and when it is appropriate to use it.

To avoid any misunderstandings, I will tell you what coming out means, how it relates to gay people, and how it can be interpreted in different ways.

Coming out - what is it?

In the second half of the 19th century, various leftist ideologies developed very actively, which contradicted generally accepted moral norms.

Against the backdrop of all this, scientists, psychologists and writers, one after another, began to introduce into the masses the idea that “forbidden” love between people of the same sex is normal.

Of course, they received a lot of disapproval. At that time, and in principle even now, such propaganda could lead to dismissal from work and even imprisonment.

Nevertheless, the seed was sown, and since then an active movement has gradually begun throughout the planet to protect the rights of:

homosexuals;
lesbians;
bisexuals;
transsexuals.

Thanks to this, today many LGBT people have begun to openly talk about their sexual preferences. Such public frankness and got the name coming out(translated as “revelation”, “coming out of the shadows”).

What does it mean to come out?

When a person first realizes that he is gay, it is always scary. To avoid condemnation and disapproval, many hide the truth, pretend and do everything possible so that loved ones do not suspect anything. Only a few decide to live openly, not ashamed of their feelings, and even declare it publicly.

Coming out - this is a voluntary confession in their belonging to a sexual minority.

Recently, society has become more accepting of such gender deviations. Accordingly, more and more people decide to tell the truth. The increasing number of cases of coming out has allowed experts to divide it into two kinds:

Revolutionary– when a person declares his identity to everyone at once. For example, to report the “news”, he gathers all his friends in one place - at a party or birthday. Famous personalities often voice their confession in the media or social networks.
Evolutionary– when the number of people who know the truth increases gradually. First, the closest ones are told about the secret, then the circle expands. This method is considered more delicate and less traumatic.

As already mentioned, literally translated from English the expression coming out means “exit”, “disclosure”. This phrase is also used in the famous phrase: “coming out of the closet”, meaning “to come out of the closet”, “ come out of the dark».

National Coming Out Day is celebrated annually on October 11th. Also within the framework of this concept, a thematic emblem was created.

Celebrity coming out

Needless to say, there are more representatives of sexual minorities in show business than anywhere else. In this environment, especially calculating individuals use such confessions as a method of attracting attention.

In this case, coming out is a show, an additional PR stunt. Just remember the story with Ronaldo. Several years ago, he confirmed accusations of homosexuality, but after some time he acquired a wife and children.

However, celebrities often talk about their sexuality completely disinterestedly. Let's look at the loudest confessions of famous people:

Actor Kevin Spacey at the age of 58, he published a post on Twitter in which he announced that from now on he prefers to be gay.
Ian McKellen spoke about his orientation live on the radio station.
Elton John not just publicly declared his homosexuality. The singer started a family with his partner. After a while, with the help of a surrogate mother, they had children.
George Michael. Back in 1998, his confession was not approved and alienated fans, and therefore Michael’s popularity fell sharply.
Actress and model Ruby Rose Back in school, she told her classmates that she was a lesbian, for which she was rejected. However, this did not affect her orientation in any way.

In addition to creative personalities, such recognitions are made by world famous politicians and businessmen.

For example, Serbian Prime Minister Ana Brnabic is in an unofficial marriage with Milica Djuric. They recently had a son, who was conceived through artificial insemination.

Moreover, Apple CEO Tim Cook came out back in 2014. And, apparently, this did not affect the brand’s reputation in any way. Cook himself, speaking about his orientation in an interview, claims that he was very lucky.

The first film dedicated to coming out was filmed in the GDR back in 1989. A year later, the film “Coming Out,” directed by Heiner Karov, won the “Best Feature Film” nomination.

How is this matter going in Russia? Recently, this term has acquired a broader meaning. It is used to refer to any public announcement of one’s personal, often provocative, view of life or some event.

This can also be expressed in the usual recognition of one’s hidden actions or crimes.

Bottom line

Coming out, figuratively speaking, is the moment when a person plucks up courage and loudly informs the public that he is “not like that”: gay, lesbian, bisexual or.

In a hostile environment, these decisions are not made easily. It's hard to imagine how much courage and confidence it takes to make such a statement. However, many are willing to take risks, because this is the only way they can protect their pride and self-respect.

Good luck to you! See you soon on the pages of the blog site