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I love you

At any age - both 2 months and 15 years - a child should hear these words from loved one every day, this is the basis of all fundamentals. Of course, words need to be confirmed by actions: spending time together, listening to the child, discussing his problems. Let not a single day pass without a declaration of love. Children feel calm and confident knowing that they are loved.

How great it is that you were born to us

It is important that from the very early age children understood that they were unique, different from others, special, because we are all different from others in one way or another. Make it a goal to tell your children every day that their birth was the best thing that happened in your life. This is especially important to hear for children who have. Reassure the child, let him know that mom and dad’s love is enough for everyone and every child is the most beloved and only for parents.

You will succeed (I believe in you)

Even small problems may seem difficult to solve for children at first because they still have a limited understanding of their abilities. This is why parental encouragement is so valuable to them. Always remind your child that he has the ability to complete any task. If you tell your child every day that his parents believe in him, he will learn to overcome difficulties and grow up with a sense of self.

How was your day?

It’s good to end the day by discussing how it went, because there was always something important. If this phrase is heard every day, the child will get used to discussing with his parents what is happening to him. You need to ask not “for show,” that is, listen to the entire answer, even if the child tells it slowly and confusingly, and you are tired and your head is not at all filled with childhood joys and disappointments. If you want to maintain contact with your child, you need to lay the foundation for this now. And there is no better foundation than the habit of heart-to-heart talk.

Do not give up

We already know very well that it is pointless to give in to difficulties, and we have well mastered the principle “the eyes are afraid, but the hands do.” However, our children do not know all this yet, and the slightest difficulty may seem like a disaster for them. “Never give up” is what a child needs to learn. And this is something that you always need to remind him of in case of some failure, even if it seems serious. It is important for any person to know that he has the right to make mistakes; without this, mistakes will be formed. The right to make mistakes and failure and the knowledge that you will still be supported is one of the most important things that family gives us.

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I am proud of you

Any small step for humanity is a big step for a child: he himself wrote the first word, went on stage for the first time at a children's matinee - this is truly an achievement. Show your child that you appreciate his success. This will give him strength for new exploits and discoveries.

Let's hug

The famous American psychologist Virginia Satir claims that a child needs 4 hugs a day to survive, 8 to feel good, and 12 to grow and develop as a person. Research shows that hugs can relieve stress and improve physical health. And psychological health. In addition, if the child “does not receive enough” required amount hugs, he can grow up to be an indifferent person, unable to love.

I am always with you

It is important to support children in difficult situations. Of course, they can be wrong, and you need to talk about this as tactfully as possible. When giving your child freedom of action, remind him that he can count on you at any time. It will be much easier for him to overcome difficulties with the thought that he is not alone, that Hard time family members will come to his aid.

You are clever

Why is it important for a child to know that he is smart? His self-esteem may be low. At one point, focusing on the successes of his peers, he will decide that he does not have outstanding skills. This will lead to the fact that at the slightest difficulty the child will give up and attribute failures to his own stupidity. Therefore, whenever the opportunity arises, praise his intelligence.

Thank you!

Don't forget to thank your child if he cleaned up after himself, helped wash the dishes or wipe the dust. It doesn’t matter how well he did it: mistakes can be pointed out later, and immediately thanked for his desire to help. This Magic word not only brings people together and motivates, but also teaches politeness.

Most of us perceive 50 years of age as the milestone after which a full life ends. It seems that people who have crossed it lose intimacy and understanding with their loved one, motivation for development and joy from previous hobbies disappear, and besides, they are overcome by chronic diseases. In general, life is steadily moving towards its decline.

But this is not at all true! Life after 50 is qualitatively in no way inferior to life at 30 or 40 years old. Of course, no one questions the carefree delight and optimism of twenty-year-old young people who have grandiose plans for life, but one should not think that this all ends by the age of fifty.

Many Scientific research and sociological surveys lead to unexpected conclusions, namely, people who have crossed the 50-year mark perceive the world more positive. At this age, a person’s life is stable and measured, he is self-confident, he has no fears for himself and his future. In addition, a person over 50 years of age is more stress-resistant and has excellent control. own emotions, which is undoubtedly an advantage over younger people.

Add to this the fact that people over 50 manage their time better, which means they have much more time to relax and do things that truly bring them pleasure. For example, this allows you to devote yourself to a hobby for which you previously did not have enough time, to fulfill a long-standing dream, and in general, to look more creatively at the opportunities that life gives.

Youth gives us enthusiasm and energy, which, it seems, will be enough for 100 years to come. However, over the years, the fuse gradually fades away. But is it worth worrying about? Now you don't have to sacrifice yourself to get up early in the morning and sit until midnight in the office. There comes a time in your life when you can feel the true taste of life by putting things off until later.

All this, of course, allows us to perceive the 50-year mark more positively. And if you still don’t feel this, it’s only because too many prejudices associated with your age have taken root in your head. We will talk about them in this article.

10 things you need to stop doing after 50

1. Diet

Have you turned 50 and are still searching the Internet for a suitable diet to lose a few pounds? Leave this idea aside. First of all, you must understand that at your age, diets simply do not work!

After 45 years, the body of men and women experiences a decrease in hormone production, which inevitably leads to weight gain. But if you have been eating right before and have not allowed yourself to gain weight, this failure will not cause you unnecessary trouble. At most, you will gain 5–7 extra pounds, which is considered normal for people over 50. If you have eaten incorrectly before, allowed yourself fast food and abused sweets, there is no doubt that diets did not help you much before. So is it worth torturing your body now? Attempts to deny yourself your favorite foods and go hungry do not lead to positive results, and in the long run, even more so, they will play a cruel joke on you and add ten extra pounds!

Don't forget about peace of mind. Unsuccessful attempts to lose weight with the help of diets will deteriorate your mood, which will invariably affect your well-being and quality of life.

2. Cover gray hair

Noticing gray strands, women, and sometimes men, begin to think about how to hide this clear sign of approaching old age. But this is self-deception! Trying to hide gray hair looks ridiculous, because age makes itself felt with many other signs, including wrinkles and changes in skin color.

But the point is not even that painting over gray hair will not allow you to hide your age. The whole point is that you just can’t come to terms with changes in your own appearance, you won’t love yourself for who you are here and now. And this is a sign of disharmony, which prevents you from liberating yourself and getting true pleasure from life.

That’s why don’t deny yourself the pleasure of dyeing your hair when you want to change your appearance and change your image, but you definitely shouldn’t hide your gray hair on purpose and worry about the appearance of new gray locks.

3. Postponing important things until later

We have already mentioned that after 50 years there comes a period when you have time and opportunities to fulfill your old dream and do what you are really interested in. Now is the time when you can implement your plans. So, don’t put it off until later!

Perhaps you have dreamed of visiting one of the distant countries? Maybe you have always wanted to become a farmer, learn foreign language or build a dacha? Perhaps you have dreamed of enrolling in a dance course or traveling around the world on a bicycle? Now that your children have grown up and you have a stable job, there is every reason to devote your life to your loved ones and do what you really have always gravitated towards.

And even if you have a job and you cannot devote the entire day to yourself, be sure to carve out 1-2 hours exclusively for your own hobby. Have no doubt, your life will only become brighter and happier from this.

4. Be ashamed of your mistakes

There is a prejudice within many of us that a person at 50 years old is ashamed to show his ignorance, it is inconvenient to ask advice from others, and even more so to make mistakes that others may notice. But in fact, these are nothing more than prejudices.

A person cannot know absolutely everything, and therefore it is completely normal to be embarrassed about some questions in areas in which you have absolutely no understanding. Even if you are asking advice from someone much younger than you. Moreover, the fact that you ask questions when mastering a computer, newfangled gadgets or a modern car indicates that you want to keep up with the times and constantly develop. And this cannot evoke any other emotions other than admiration!

Moreover, when you are over 50, you can safely tell others about the mistakes, mistakes and misconceptions that you encountered when you were young. There is nothing wrong with this, because only after going through these obstacles did you become who you are now. Is this worth being ashamed of? Tell this with a smile, because the ability to self-irony is important quality for a liberated and free from prejudices person.

5. “Dedicate” yourself to children and grandchildren

The arrival of grandchildren is a golden time for grandparents. I want to be closer to my own children, spend more time with them, show them the world around them in the brightest colors and give them happy childhood. Next to your grandchildren, you yourself become much younger.

All this is true, but with one caveat. You shouldn’t “dedicate” your life to your grandchildren. You should have time to look after your baby and play with him, but at the same time you should not forget own desires and aspirations. A happy family is one in which you are supported in realizing your aspirations.

Finally, practice shows that grandparents who from time to time help their children look after their grandchildren, but at the same time are busy with their own development, ultimately receive more gratitude than those who give their grandchildren all of themselves and all their time.

6. Repeat what you have learned

By the age of 50, you have already accumulated enough experience and knowledge to perform your usual work “automatically.” But there is not much reason for pride here. The fact is that neural connections in the brain do not recover on their own - the brain needs constant stimulation, and for this you need to set new tasks for it as often as possible.

This is quite easy to do. If you are used to driving or going to work along a certain route, change it and let your brain find a new optimal path. If you've been swimming breaststroke all your life, master a new style swimming. In fact, it is not so important what exactly you puzzle your brain with, it is important that new tasks are set before it, which it will successfully cope with. In this regard, learn something new that you have never done before. Remember, after 50, keeping your brain active is just as important as staying physically active.

7. Worry about what others think

By the age of 50, it's time to stop paying attention to what they say behind your back. You have already lived long enough to understand that all this gossip and gossip only affects those who pay attention to them. You have already formed your own vision of the world, your own views on fashion and hobbies, and therefore worrying about whispers behind your back, and even more so worrying about the fact that your behavior will be condemned, is at least stupid.

After fifty years, a special time comes - a time of emancipation, when it should become completely unimportant to you what people say. Do you want to wear a mini skirt? Would you like to go to night club and “have a blast” like in your youth? Or maybe you are still embarrassed to remind someone about this promise or unreturned money? Allow yourself everything you really want and talk openly about what really worries you! Believe me, understanding this makes life a lot easier.

...One morning I woke up with some unpleasant feeling. It was as if something heavy was pressing on me from within - something that I could not erase from my memory, correct or at least somehow change. And suddenly I remembered. I remembered that today is the 28th. And in exactly six months I will celebrate my 50th anniversary.

Anniversary... What a terrible word for every woman who is publicly reminded of her age at her own holiday, in every toast. Anniversary. How could it happen that I, still mischievous and cheerful, playful and childishly capricious, am celebrating my 50th birthday?..

How can I throw off the heavy burden that I have been carrying on myself all these years, burdening myself more and more every year? A husband who controls my expenses and grumbles about my desire to go to the sea alone. The daughter, who after several attempts entered the paid branch private university and burdens me with exorbitant expenses. A son who has nothing in his soul except three years of experience of living with a woman. And here again, like twenty years ago, we all gathered in one apartment: me, my husband and two adult children. Here it is, the burden that I put on my shoulders, which does not allow me to live for my pleasure and enjoy life.

Of course I love my family. But I understand that once, having crossed out my own “I” and replaced it with “we,” I lost myself, my desires and aspirations, I forgot what I love and what I want. What can we talk about if I have not been able to manage even my own salary for years, but for decades. Thirty years of hard labor, and I could not fully spend a single salary (out of 360 received during this time) myself. None! In the first place was always the family, its needs, its desires... And that morning I painfully remembered what I wanted. What life would I choose if I could choose now?..

January

Changes must always start with yourself. Therefore, first of all, I will buy myself a fur coat. A fur coat from some decent animal (first you need to find out who is in fashion now). A fur coat that is thin, airy and does not make you fat! In it, without any suitcase (things from past life I don’t need them) I’ll get on the plane and fly to Moscow - to the best clinic in . Down with wrinkles and excess weight! I will leave the clinic refreshed, having lost the extra thirty years and twenty kilograms! I’ll rent a car with a driver and go shopping...

January is the time to look younger and shop!

February

After Moscow I will not go to my provincial Belarusian city. I’m afraid I’ll give my husband a heart attack, I don’t want to shock the children. I will go to live in Minsk - it’s much quieter there than Moscow. For the first time (until I decide on the area where I will buy the penthouse) I will stay in a luxury hotel. I don’t need to clean up, but I’ll go down to the hotel restaurant for a meal. Updated, slim, young, sexy dressed. I am sure that I will delight the eyes of foreign tourists and Russian businessmen coming to the Belarusian capital on business...

But I won't mess around. My 27 years of experience in journalism will be very useful to me. I will become the founder of a men's magazine about hunting or fishing. And, despite the fact that I have never been hunting, and the last time I fished with my brother in the village about 35 years ago, all this seems completely unimportant to me. The specialists will do their job - “promote” the publication and make it popular. My job is to lead, signing contracts and flirting with advertisers - owners of gun and sporting goods stores. No woman will work in my magazine. I've gotten pretty tired of women over the years. I will personally handle the recruitment. Men under 40 are what I need! And also (I accidentally remembered) I need a car - a red Mitsubishi with a driver.

February is the time to go on business in a good car!

March

It's time to take care of your own home. As they say, the hotel is good, but home is better! Three-room apartment with a total area of ​​80 square meters with a 12-meter kitchen it will suit me. The designer will take care of the implementation of ideas - other specialists. After agreeing on a design project in pink and peach tones, I (for my efforts) will give myself a gift - I will go to Tunisia. Sun, sea and, of course, nightclubs. There I will meet a charming 45-year-old Muscovite and, without any twinge of conscience, I will start a dizzying affair with him.

March is the time to meow, love and be loved!

April

Rested and tanned, in a great mood, I return to Minsk. Muscovite Igor calls me every day. Sometimes I turn off my mobile so as not to appear approachable...

Working. They sign contracts for advertising placement, consulting with 36-year-old lawyer Roma (flirting).

At the end of the month I decide to relax and go on a 10-day tour of Europe (France, Germany, Belgium, Luxembourg, the Netherlands). I don’t take Igor with me. He is a little offended and jealous (he thinks that I didn’t go alone). In Europe I update my wardrobe, visit the sights, spend money at the Amsterdam Diamond Factory.

April is the time to work and spend the money you earn!

Hooray! finished and I'm moving into my own apartment. I'm inviting several people to the housewarming party best friends. We haven't seen each other for so long! I tell them about Europe, show them the clothes and jewelry I bought.

Everything is fine at work. Lawyer Roma is very bored and is taking the most decisive actions. I find my favorite pink roses on the table. Igor calls every day, and at the end of the month I let him come...

May is the time to enjoy the attention of men!

June

In June, the magazine's employees begin to leave. We have to look for a replacement for them. I am again recruiting employees myself. New male forces are joining the team. Among them there are very nice specimens...

Igor calls every day. I'm going to visit him this weekend! My beloved is organizing a tour of Moscow for me. We live in his luxurious house with servants. He doesn't want to invite guests. “I’m afraid that no one will take you away!” - he jokes, and we lie in bed all day. On Monday, a little tired and airy from the sensations I received, I fly home to Minsk.

June is a hot (in all respects) time!

July

I remember that I need to invest money somewhere! I decided to open a good jewelry store. "For what? - the friends are perplexed. “You need to trade in gold and diamonds!” They don't understand me! I want the jewelry in my store to be available to all women - not just businesswomen and wives of rich husbands. I will select the product range myself - I don’t trust anyone!

Igor flew to visit again... He said that I decorate his life.

July is the time to decorate yourself and others!

August

In August I'm all about work! Two businesses occupy my full time. I relax only from 10 to 11 o’clock (at this time the driver takes me to sunbathe) and in the evening, when I have dinner with my friends in a cafe.

Igor calls every day. He is nervous that I, citing work, do not allow him to come.

August is the time to work and sunbathe!

September

“Stop working!” - Igor says excitedly into the phone and on the same day buys a ticket for two to a sanatorium in Karlovy Vary. Having difficulty fighting off Igor’s hugs in the Czech Republic, I manage to take mineral baths and baths.

In the evenings we visit entertainment venues. Returning, we make love uncontrollably and fall asleep. Before Igor wakes up, I go down to the pool...

Upon returning to Minsk, I check how things are going in the magazine and the store. Everything is going great!

September is a time of only great news!

October

It's time to buy your fall wardrobe. Fashionable items bought in the Czech Republic are not enough – it’s starting to get colder.

I fire a saleswoman in a store. Just. I'm tired of it!

Igor comes for the weekend... He brings an expensive necklace as a gift.

October is the time for shopping and gifts!

November

Cold. Dark. I miss Igor. Not enough sun and good impressions. I call the travel agency and get advice on where to go on vacation. Igor insists on paying for a trip for two. I disagree and pay my share myself. We are flying to Egypt together – I have long wanted to see the Cheops Pyramid! It’s not possible to have an affair with a handsome southerner - the co-owner of the hotel. Igor is on guard all the time!

November – it’s good where we are!

December

After Egypt, Igor becomes even more jealous of me and offers to live together. I refuse - I don’t want to lose my freedom again. He sadly agrees to my terms (where should he go?).

We're arguing about where to meet. Igor offers to go together with him or me, but I refuse. I want to communicate with people! On the eve of the holidays we go to a fashionable mansion in the Moscow region, where Igor’s friends live. He introduces me as the lady of his heart. I meet a lot of interesting, charming people! Let's meet New Year fun and lighthearted! Indeed, with ease. After all, on the eve of the New Year, I still remembered my family and sent a parcel with expensive gifts and heartfelt wishes on a postcard!

As the chimes struck, I wished that the year of my dreams would come true. Moreover, I conveniently forgot about my anniversary at the end of August! That means he never existed!

December is the time for wishes to come true!

Recorded from the words of the heroine.