A cycle of 4 lessons for children from grades 4-7

Lesson 1

1. "Transmission of motion in a circle"

Target:

1. Presentation of resultsmethod "Determination of the index of group cohesion" Sishoreand Thomas' Behavior Description Test

Note: It is important to highlight the existing types of response in conflict.

Note that "when avoidance neither side of the conflict achieves success; with behaviors such as competition, adaptation and compromise, either one of the participants wins and the other loses, or both lose, as they make compromise concessions. And only in a situation cooperation both sides win” (K. Thomas).

On the one hand, the class presents a variety of types of response in conflict situations, for the situation of the class as a whole, this can have positive aspects from the position that each student can choose a communication partner, taking into account their own preferences. On the other hand, the level cooperation the class as a whole is not high, so it is necessary to work on raising the level of interpersonal relations. By working on this problem, you can raise the level of cooperation in the classroom in order to support and mutually help in learning activities.

1. Presentation on the topic "Communication. Types of communication»

Communication is an art that we either own, or do not own, or do not fully own. And a lot in the life of each of us depends on how skillful we are in communication, how we are able or not able to build our relationships with people, how attentive we are to people.

Human society is inconceivable without communication. From the moment of birth, a person communicates with other people, but sometimes people are helpless in the field of interpersonal relationships, so a person must learn the rules of interaction with people. This is called communication competence.

There are two types of communication: verbal and non-verbal. Communication through words is called verbal communication. In non-verbal communication, the means of transmitting information are non-verbal signs (postures, gestures, facial expressions, intonations, etc.). Non-verbal means of communication are more often used to establish emotional contact with the interlocutor and maintain it during the conversation.

In addition, communication is a complex process of establishing and developing contacts between people, generated by the needs of joint activities and including the exchange of information, the development of a unified interaction strategy, the perception and understanding of another person.

1. Exercise in pairs "Change of positions"

Target: The following exercises can provide group members with an opportunity to become more familiar with and experiment with verbal and non-verbal communication.

Lesson progress: « Choose your partner. Do one of the following communication exercises together. After about five minutes, switch to another partner and do the second exercise. Repeat the same for the last two exercises.

Back to back. Sit back to back. Try to keep the conversation going. After a few minutes, turn around and share your feelings.

Sitting and standing. One of the partners is sitting, the other is standing. Try to carry on a conversation in this position. After a few minutes, switch positions so that each of you experiences the feeling of “above” and “below”. After a few more minutes, share your feelings.

Only eyes. Look into each other's eyes. Make eye contact without using words. After a few minutes, verbally share your feelings.

Face research. Sit face to face and explore your partner's face with your hands. Then let your partner explore your face. Share your feelings and experiences.

At the end of the test, conduct a conversation with students about the position in which it was more convenient for them to communicate, where they felt most comfortable, and where, on the contrary, it was concise and uncertain.

To begin with, it is necessary to analyze some area of ​​non-verbal communication. It is connected precisely with the positions of the two interlocutors:

1. Discussion of the exercise.Conversation on the topic "Spatial conditions of communication"

Spatial relations - the relative position of the interlocutors at the time of their physical, visual or other contact.

1. intimate distance. It has two intervals: "near" and "far". close spacing- direct contact; far- distance from 15 to 45 cm. Behind this distance, an area is reserved for the exchange of intimate messages in body language (mutual touch, eye contact, etc.).

Thus, it is quite easy to establish what level of communication your potential partner wants to have. It is enough to deliberately reduce the personal distance, and the other person will unconsciously make a movement to establish the distance that he currently finds acceptable. For example, if you move (lean) towards the interlocutor or interlocutor, reducing the distance to the level of intimate communication, and he or she is in no hurry to move away, then this, in all likelihood, indicates a readiness for closer contact. However, it must be remembered that the abuse of this diagnostic technique is fraught with the fact that your approach can be perceived as aggression or familiarity, or perhaps as shameless flirting.

Managers can also reinforce their superior claims through the spatial oppression of their subordinates.

When a woman invades a man's intimate zone, the indignation will not be as strong as when a man invades a woman's intimate zone.

1. Personal distance. Close interval: 45-75 cm, far: 75-120 cm. How close people stand to each other signals their relationship, or how they feel for each other.

In this space, normal communication processes occurring between people. However, people who focus on inner experiences tend to maintain a greater distance than extroverts. If a person does not notice the personal zone and approaches the intimate one too quickly or even invades its limits, then he thereby demonstrates his lack of the necessary tact and a correct assessment of the personality of another person. He literally appears intrusive and makes a depressing impression. In fact, the protection of personal areas is one of the main principles of wordless communication.

But personal distance is not the same for people brought up in similar conditions. So, they tend to be closer to the partner children and old men; teenagers and middle-aged people prefer a distant distance. In addition, we usually try to be at a greater distance from those whose position or authority is higher than ours, while people of equal status communicate at a close distance.

An important role in the regulation of personal distance is played by floor and growth of interlocutors. The taller the man, the more he seeks to get closer to the interlocutor, and, conversely, the smaller his height, the greater the distance he prefers to stay. In women, the opposite relationship is observed. The explanation for this is that the society has developed an ordinary "cultural norm" - a man should be large, and a woman, on the contrary, should be miniature. And we unconsciously strive to adjust life to this conditional norm. It is pleasant for a tall man to stand next to a short interlocutor, and a tall woman, on the contrary, tends to move away to hide her "flaw".

1. Social distance. Close spacing: 120-210 cm. People working together tend to use close social distance. The far interval is from 210 to 350 cm. This is the distance that people go when someone says to them: "Stand so that I can look at you."

We deal with social distance mainly in the sphere of business relations. Involuntarily, the dimensions of this distance are set when there is a dining table or a desk between the interlocutors. At such a distance from each other, all conversations take place, during which they do not seek to establish close relationships, and it is more about this or that business than about a person. At the same distance, there are also conversations about problems that are not directly exciting and are considered abstractly, “from the outside”.

1. public distance. Close interval: 350-750 cm. Far interval: more than 750 cm. This is exactly the distance that speakers usually stand from their listeners. The limits of the public or common area allow you to observe people without any embarrassment, especially those of them who flaunt themselves. This is also possible because someone who is being observed from such a distance can be sure that such observation does not develop into an attack. The attacker would have to cover quite a long distance first. In addition, various details and trifles that they want to hide from others cannot be seen at such a distance. The gaze of the observer at a great distance does not provoke the appearance of any defense mechanisms or defensive body language.

It should be borne in mind that distances differ markedly among different peoples. American researcher E. Hall conducted an interesting experiment. He "pushed" in a business conversation unfamiliar indigenous citizens of his country and typical representatives of Latin American countries. As a result of the conversation, the interlocutors' perception of each other was clarified. Hall found that during the conversation, the Hispanics involuntarily sought to get closer to the partner, and the US citizens moved away all the time. Subsequently, while sorting out his first impression of a new acquaintance, the North American thought of the Hispanic: how intrusive, unceremonious, and pretending to establish close relationships. And the representative of the Latin American country also sincerely believed that the Yankees were arrogant, indifferent, too official. In fact, there were differences in the traditional zonal norms. The distance of business communication accepted in the United States seems prohibitively large to Latin Americans, since from childhood they have learned the norm adopted in their countries to approach the interlocutor almost closely.

For the distance of communication, factors such as social prestige or the social position of the interlocutor, introversion - extroversion, the total volume of the conversation and, most importantly, its content are no less significant. It is essential that the distance also varies from external situational factors, for example, from the size of the room.

All this demonstrates the importance and power of distance, and proves that, as with other aspects of body language, it is useful for all of us to learn to become more sensitive to all the nuances of the position we occupy in relation to the interlocutor.

6. The game "Collective account"

Target

Game progress:

1. Feedback.

Lesson #2

1. Listening test.

After it is held, the participants themselves calculate the number of points scored and evaluate their listening skills.

1. "Transmission of motion in a circle"

Target: improving the skills of coordination and interaction at the psychomotor level; development of imagination and empathy.

Everyone sits in a circle. One of the group members begins the action with an imaginary object so that it can be continued. The neighbor repeats the action and continues it. Thus, the object goes around the circle and returns to the first player. He names the object he passed on, and each of the participants names, in turn, what exactly he passed on. After discussion, the exercise is repeated one more time.

3. The gift of persuasion

Purpose of the exercise: Helping participants understand what persuasive speaking is, developing persuasive speaking skills.

Procedure: Two participants are called. The presenter gives each of them a matchbox, one of which contains a colored piece of paper. After both participants have found out which of them has a piece of paper in the box, each begins to prove to the “public” that it is he who has the piece of paper in the box. The task of the public is to decide by consensus who exactly has a piece of paper in the box. If the “public” made a mistake, the presenter comes up with a punishment for it (for example, jump for one minute).

You can use other options for this technique:

- ask the participants to prove that the second person has the piece of paper (“blame” him for this), however, it is necessary to make sure that there is no piece of paper in any box. Thus, both participants will be sure that they are telling the truth.

- call two people, give them a piece of paper, each of which will write a certain color (for example, "blue" and "red"). It is necessary to prove that the color that the participant got is better than the color of his opponent.

After the session, the observations of the participants and the rest of the class should be discussed. During the discussion, it is important to analyze those cases when the "public" was wrong - what verbal and non-verbal components made them believe in a lie. In addition, it is necessary that the participants of the training draw conclusions about what needs to be done in order to appear more convincing.

1. "Carousel"

Target: formation of quick response skills when making contact; development of empathy and reflection in the learning process.

The exercise involves a series of meetings, each time with a new person. Task: it is easy to get in touch, keep up the conversation and say goodbye.

The members of the group stand on the principle of a "carousel", that is, facing each other, and form two circles: an internal motionless and an external movable.

Situation examples

• Before you is a person whom you know well, but have not seen for a long time. Are you excited about this meeting...
• There is a stranger in front of you. Get to know him…
• Before you is a small child, he was afraid of something. Approach him and calm him down.
• After a long separation, you meet your beloved (beloved), you are very happy to meet ...

The time to establish contact and conduct a conversation is 3-4 minutes. Then the facilitator gives a signal, and the training participants move to the next participant.

5. The game "Collective account"

Target: relieve tension in the group; team building.

Game progress: The participants in the lesson should close their eyes and, without collusion with each other, try to produce a sequential count of numbers (1,2,3, etc.). However, they should not call one number at a time. In this case, the count starts again. Such a game requires the participants to be attentive to each other and contributes to the unity of the class in achieving a common goal.

1. "Signal"

Target: completion of the lesson.

Instruction: « Let's stand in a circle and all join hands. Now, by lightly squeezing the hand of my neighbor, I will send a signal in the form of a sequence of quick or longer squeezes. The signal will be transmitted in a circle until it returns back to me. With this handshake, we will say goodbye to each other until the next lesson.

Lesson 3

1. Exercise "Search for means of information transmission"

Participants sit in a circle.

“I have several cards in my hand. The names of various objects, states, concepts are written on them. For example, lamp, sleep, light, fun, etc. I will pin a card on the back of one of you, say, Oleg, but I will do it so that he does not see what is written on it. Then Oleg will approach different members of the group (of his choice), and those whom he approached will non-verbally show him what is written on his card. Oleg's task is to understand what is written on the card.

During the exercise, the trainer encourages the participants to continue until the participant determines exactly what is written on the card, after which the next participant receives the card.

The exercise allows all members of the group to play both roles and practice searching for means of transmitting information, reflecting on the causes of non-verbal interpretations, the accuracy of finding them, etc.

2. Exercise "My problem in communication"

Time: 15-20 min.

Group members write on separate sheets of paper in a short, concise form the answer to the question: “What is your main problem in communication?” The sheets are not signed. The sheets are folded and folded into a common pile. Then each student randomly takes any piece of paper, reads it and tries to find a technique with which he could get out of this problem. The group listens to his proposal and evaluates whether the relevant problem is correctly understood and whether the proposed technique really contributes to its resolution. Statements that criticize, clarify or expand the answer are allowed.

3. Career guidance game "Epitaph"

Target: increasing the level of group cohesion, developing active listening skills, increasing the readiness of players to consciously build their life and professional prospects.

Time spending: 25 - 40 minutes.

Lesson progress:

(The exercise is carried out in a circle.)

1. The participants sit in a circle and the leader in a “mysterious voice” tells the following parable:

They say that somewhere in the Caucasus there is an old cemetery, where on gravestones you can find something like this: “Suleiman Babashidze. Born in 1820, died in 1858. Lived for 3 years”, or “Nugzar Gaprindashvili. Born in 1840, died in 1865. Lived 120 years.

Further, the facilitator asks the group: “What do they not know how to count in the Caucasus? Maybe these additions were made with meaning on the tombstones? And with what meaning? The meaning of the postscripts is that in this way the fellow villagers assessed the richness and overall value of the life of this person ”(FOOTNOTE: This example, in a slightly modified form, is taken from the book of Golovakha E.I., Kronika A.A. Psychological Time of the Personality - Kyiv: Naukova Dumka, 1984 .).

Instruction:

Now we will jointly compose a story about a certain person who in our time (for example, in 1995) graduated from school and began to live on, having lived exactly 75 years. Everyone should in turn name an important event in the life of a given person - from these events his life will be formed. I pay special attention to the fact that events can be external (entered there, worked there, did this), or they can be internal, associated with deep reflections and experiences (for example, some people became great, rarely going out from your home). It is advisable to offer events that correspond to reality (without any meetings with aliens and other funny supermen guys).

At the end of the game, everyone will try to evaluate how successful the main character’s life was, how interesting and valuable it turned out to be: everyone, as it were, will make a postscript on the gravestone of our main character, how many years he lived not according to his passport, but for real.

1. The facilitator calls the first event, for example: "Our hero graduated from high school with two Cs." Then the rest of the players take turns calling their events. The host must ensure that no one prompts or interferes with the next participant. If there are few participants in the game (only 6-.8 people), it is advisable to go around the second circle, i.e. give each participant the opportunity to name the second event.
2. When the last player names his event, it is assumed that the main player dies at 75, according to the game condition.
3. The host invites everyone to think a little and in turn, without any comments so far, just say how many years could be attributed to the hero's gravestone.
4. Everyone takes turns calling their options (years not lived in vain).
5. Further, the presenter offers to comment on the named years to those players who named the largest and smallest number of years for the main character. A small discussion is possible here, in which the facilitator does not have to express his point of view at all (or at least wait with this, giving the participants an opportunity to speak). Quite often, in our experience, many players estimate the fate of the first hero not very high, naming 20, 30, 45, etc. years (and according to the passport - 75 years!). It is not uncommon for a group to express a desire to "try again." But often even after the second play (even with a slightly different hero) it turns out not very interesting. Usually, during the second play, the group begins to fantasize too much, and many then themselves declare that “all this does not look like the truth - some kind of nonsense (or “some kind of darkness”). Thus, building an interesting life, even in the imagination, is not at all easy.
6. You can end the game with a reminder that there are external and internal events (often the game turns out to be uninteresting precisely because it is mainly external events that are called, and life turns out to be like a biography for the personnel department). The host invites everyone in turn to name some really interesting and worthy event that could decorate any life.

1. After a little thought, the participants in the game take turns calling such events. The task of the host is not so much to criticize (and many still name external events), but to praise the players, encouraging them to think about it at all.
2. You can even offer the participants a homework task: “If you are in the right mood, then quietly and calmly think about what events could specifically decorate your future lives.”
3. If time permits, after the end of the game, the host invites the players to write down on separate sheets of paper 1 5 - 2 0 main events in the life of some imaginary hero (boy or girl - the player himself determines), who also graduated from school at the present time and lived (according to his passport) 75 years . At the bottom of the leaflet, you just need to write how much this hero lived in the psychological sense. Experience shows that this additional task is carried out by most players very seriously and with interest.

According to the experience of playing this game, a typical life scenario is something like this (for girls): after school, he enters an institute (often an economic or legal one); at the institute he meets a guy, meets (sometimes a child appears); quarreling with a guy; meets a foreigner (rarely a “new Russian”) and, almost always, goes abroad (Europe-America); surprisingly, often returns to Russia after some time; then it is very simple - gets a job, works; sometimes - remarries, creates a family; very often - grandchildren appear; often closer to old age - writes memoirs; dies usually surrounded by loving children and grandchildren.

For young people (guys), the life scenario is about the same plan, only more often they go not abroad, but to Siberia or the Far East, and then “open their own business” and earn huge money (“states”). Sometimes it happens that the main character receives a rich inheritance, but often “squanders” it. Often at some stage (closer to adulthood) they drink too much, quarrel with their son, but then they usually reconcile and also die surrounded by loving relatives ...

Thus, it can be assumed that even in a collective story, real problems are often projected (manifested) that are present in typical adolescent relationships with parents and peers. And although the game serves not so much for the projection and reflection of these relations, it should not be taken into account (underestimated) at all when it is carried out.

1. "Watchman"

goal:

- group activation

- development of attention

- development of arbitrariness

- establishing contact

Description:

The class is divided into two groups. One group sits on chairs set in a circle. The second group of children stands behind the chairs. They will be watchmen. One of the chairs is not occupied by anyone, but there is also a watchman behind it. This watchman must find with his eyes the one who tries to escape from the other watchman, who will have to keep him.

1. Feedback

A discussion of the lesson is held with the participants of the training - the guys take turns expressing what they learned from the lesson.

Lesson 4

1. "Brownian motion"

The task is used for warm-up. All participants are invited to quickly walk around the room, all the time changing direction. First, the task is to touch (collide) with each other as little as possible. Then it changes to the opposite: to hurt others as often as possible (however, of course, without pushing each other hard).

Tasks that develop non-verbal means of communication

1. "Chair Walk"

Four people join hands. Their task is to, without separating their hands, walk along the chairs on which the members of the group are sitting. To do this, the chairs should stand in a circle and the distances between them should not be too large. No instructions are given to those sitting, and they themselves choose the way of their behavior. At the end of the game, this behavior is collectively discussed. Usually, most of the group members try to make it difficult for the four to complete the task by not giving up their place and not letting everyone pass them by. It is necessary to discuss the behavior of the four - and, first of all, its leader (i.e., the one who goes in front) - aimed at overcoming this resistance, compare the effectiveness of the methods used by different fours (request, demand, attempt to walk right on the legs of those sitting , an attempt to drive them off their chairs by force, etc.). Naturally, the behavior of the leaders of the group at the time when the four have to walk over their chairs sets a pattern for the rest of the participants (i.e., it should be aimed not at making it difficult, but at facilitating the task). However, this model is not formulated verbally and is by no means always accepted by young people, which also provides a good topic for further discussion. It is useful to give this game at the initial stage of work and it makes no sense to repeat it in subsequent classes.

1. "Log"

Purpose: development of non-verbal means of communication

— increasing the level of interpersonal interaction

The boundaries of the log are conditionally marked with adhesive tape on the floor, the participants of the training stand on it one after another. Their goal is to switch places so that the first participant becomes the last. And the last - the first, while you can not go beyond the log.

1. "Hot-Cold"

The game is a modification of a well-known game in which the driver must find a hidden object, focusing on the instructions of the other players: “hot” if it is close to the target, “cold” if it is far away. The difference is that instead of simply hiding the object, various actions are guessed, the nature of which is not known in advance to the driver (for example, the task may be to tie the shoelaces of those present, or remove glasses from one of the participants and put them on for another, or put a chair in the center of the circle and stand on it, etc.). The task is thought up by the members of the group together in the absence of the driver. It must be effective (tasks like “crow three times” are not suitable).

1. Questionnaire

Target: performance check

Time: 10 minutes

materials: a questionnaire with questions for each student.

1. "Spider line"

Target: group cohesion

Materials: ball of thread

Instruction:"Sit down, please, in one big circle. I have a ball of thread in my hands, now we will silently throw it to each other, to whomever we want. Just make sure that the thread is in the hands of each of the participants.

Thus, the tangle is passed on and on until all the children are part of one gradually growing web. Then you can talk to the children about everything related to group cohesion, ask them “Why do you think we made such a web

1. Signal

Questionnaire:

• What did you like about the training sessions?

• What did you not like about the training sessions?
• What new things did you discover in these classes?
• Have you changed (as a person, as a person) during the course? If yes, in what?
• Have any of the guys changed for you during the trainings?
• Would you like to continue training? .
• What topics would you like to discuss in the next class?

Bibliography:

• Galina Rezapkina "Lessons in choosing a profession" / Newspaper "school psychologist", No. 14, 2006 / / Publishing house "First of September".
• Practical psychodiagnostics. Methods and tests. Scientific allowance. – ed. Raigorodsky D.Ya.// publishing house "BAHRAKH-M"

• Trainings for all cases of business / Ed. J.V. Zavyalova. - St. Petersburg: Speech, 2008. -151p.
• 18 training programs: A guide for professionals / Under Scientific. ed. V.A. Chicker. - St. Petersburg: Rech, 2008. 368 p.
• Fopel K. How to teach children to cooperate? Psychological games and exercises: A practical guide: Per. with him. In 4 volumes. T.1. – M.: Genesis, 2000. – 160 p.
• Stishenok I.V. Self-confidence training: developing and realizing new opportunities. - St. Petersburg: Speech, 2010. - 230 p.
• Gretsov A. Development trainings with teenagers: creativity, communication, self-knowledge. - St. Petersburg, Peter, 2011. - 416 p.: ill.

Active listening is a complex communication skill, the semantic perception of speech. It involves direct interaction of all participants in the communication process (listener and speaker) and indirect interaction when speech is perceived on TV, radio, from a computer, etc. Active listening can help you understand, evaluate and remember the information being conveyed by the interlocutor. Also, active listening techniques can encourage the individual to respond, direct the conversation in the right direction, preventing misunderstanding, misunderstanding or misinterpretation of messages received from the interlocutor.

Active listening technique

The term active listening was introduced into our culture by Gippenreiter. In her opinion, active listening should be significant for everyone, as it opens up new opportunities for establishing deep contact between parents and their children, adult spouses with each other, work colleagues, etc. Such listening can remove emerging conflicts and tensions, create an atmosphere of good and warmth, the spirit of mutual acceptance. Gippenreiter's The Miracles of Active Listening provides step-by-step instructions for mastering the skill of active listening, answers to frequently asked questions, and plenty of real-life examples that show the effectiveness of active listening.

The goal of any hearing is to obtain as much information as possible so that you can make the right decision. The quality of any conversation depends not only on the ability to speak, but also on the ability to perceive information. When the subject is interested in a conversation, he tries to listen attentively and involuntarily turns to face the subject who is currently speaking, or leans in his direction, i.e. visual contact is established.

The ability to listen as if “with the whole body” helps to better understand the personality of the interlocutor and demonstrates to the interlocutor an interest in him. It is necessary to listen to the interlocutor always carefully, especially when there is a danger of any misunderstandings. The formation of misunderstandings is possible when the conversation itself or its subject is excessively difficult to understand or completely unfamiliar. It also happens when the speaker has some speech defects or accent. In these cases, and in many others, active listening skills need to be developed.

Important in any interaction, especially for establishing contact with children or spouses among themselves, is unconditional acceptance. Communication should be based on the principle of unconditional acceptance.

Unconditional acceptance is basically demonstrating to another individual that the person exists and has value. Unconditional acceptance by one individual of another can be achieved through many factors, for example, by asking questions that demonstrate to the individual that his opinion is important to you, that you would like to know and understand him better. But the most important thing in a question is the answer to it. This is where active listening techniques come into play. There are the following techniques: "echo", paraphrasing and interpretation.

The echo technique is a verbatim repetition of the last words of the interlocutor, but with an interrogative intonation. Paraphrasing is a brief transfer of the essence of the information transmitted by the partner. Usually begins with the words: "if I understand you correctly, then ...". Interpretation is an assumption about the real, correct meaning of what was said, about its goals and causes. It uses a phrase like this: "I assume that you ...".

The technique of active listening is: the ability to listen and empathize with the interlocutor; in clarifying information for oneself, by paraphrasing the statements of the interlocutor; in the ability to ask questions on the topic of conversation.

Thanks to the method of active listening, a person's self-esteem will increase, interaction with others will improve. Active listening helps identify problems and possible solutions.

The ability to actively listen is a certain algorithm of actions. So, the first thing to do in active listening is to look at the interlocutor, since eye contact is a significant element of communication. Interest in the information transmitted by the interlocutor is expressed by looking into the eyes of the interlocutor.

And if you examine the interlocutor completely (“from head to toe”), then this indicates that the interlocutor himself is more important to you, and not the information transmitted by him. If during a conversation we consider the surrounding objects, then this will indicate that neither the interlocutor, nor the information transmitted by him, is important to the person at the moment.

The main element of active listening is the ability to show the interlocutor that he is being listened to attentively and with interest. This is achieved by accompanying the partner's speech with a nod of the head, uttering words such as: "yes", "I understand you", etc. However, excessive manifestation can cause a backlash.

Also, you should not try to complete the sentence instead of the interlocutor, even if you fully understand what the subject of communication wants to say. It is necessary to give the individual the opportunity to understand and complete the thought himself.

In situations where something in the conversation is not clear, you should ask questions. You need to contact the interlocutor for clarification or clarification. The desire to obtain clarifying or additional information is one of the most important indicators of active listening. In cases where it is clear what the interlocutor is talking about, but he cannot independently express his thought, you can help him with a question. But since each question involves only a few answers, you should learn to ask the right questions.

Another important element of active perception is paraphrasing the statements of the communication partner. Paraphrasing includes an attempt to clarify the meaning of the statement by repeating to the partner his own information, but in other words. In addition to correct understanding, paraphrasing also provides an additional opportunity for the interlocutor to notice that they are listening carefully and trying to understand.

Important in active perception is the observation of the partner's feelings. To do this, you can use a phrase of this type - “I understand how difficult it is for you to talk about this,” etc. This shows the partner that they empathize with him. The emphasis should be on the reflection of the feelings expressed by the interlocutor, his emotional state and attitudes.

The main characteristic feature of active perception, which increases its effectiveness, is determined by the fact that in the process of verbal communication all possible misinterpretations and doubts are eliminated. That is, when a communication partner speaks from the position of active listening, he can always be sure that he understands the interlocutor correctly. It is the feedback verbal communication, which confirms the correct understanding of the partner and the attitude towards him without prejudice, that makes active perception (listening) such an effective means of communication. The active listening techniques are described in more detail in the book “Miracles of Active Listening” by Julia Gippenreiter.

Active listening techniques

Active listening, sometimes also called reflective, sensitive, thoughtful, is the most effective way of perceiving any information today. That is why it is so important to use active listening techniques in everyday life.

Among the techniques of active listening, the following are distinguished: pause, clarification, retelling, development of thought, reporting on perception, reporting on the perception of oneself, comments on the course of the conversation.

The pause allows the verbal communication partner to think. After such a pause, the interlocutor can add something else, say something that he would have kept silent about before. It also enables the listener to step back from himself, his assessments, feelings, thoughts and focus on the interlocutor. The ability to switch to the internal process of a communication partner, moving away from oneself, is one of the most difficult and most important conditions for active perception, which creates a trusting mood between conversation partners.

Clarification is understood as a request to clarify or clarify something from the speech. In any ordinary communication, small inaccuracies and understatements are thought out by communicators for each other. However, when emotionally significant issues are touched upon during the conversation, difficult topics are discussed, often the interlocutors involuntarily avoid raising painful questions. Clarification is able to preserve the understanding of the thoughts and feelings of the interlocutor in the situation that has arisen.

Retelling is an attempt by an attentive interlocutor to briefly repeat in his own words what was said by the partner. At the same time, the one who listens should try to highlight and emphasize the most important thoughts and accents. Retelling is an opportunity for feedback, understanding how words sound from the outside. The result of the retelling can be either the receipt by the interlocutor of confirmation that he is understood, or it becomes possible to correct the statements. Also, retelling can serve as a way of summing up intermediate results.

With the help of the development of thought technique, an attempt is made to pick up and move forward the course of the main idea or thought of the interlocutor.

The listener can tell the interlocutor his impression of him, which was formed in the process of communication. This technique is called perception reporting.

And the message by the listener to the interlocutor about the changes that have occurred in his personal state in the process of listening is called receiving a message about the perception of himself. For example, "I hate to hear this."

The attempt to inform the listener about how, in his opinion, the conversation can be understood in its entirety is called the reception of remarking on the progress of the conversation. For example, "it seems we have reached a common understanding of the issue."

Active listening methods

The ability to listen carefully and understand a conversation partner in psychology is called -. There are three stages of empathy: empathy, sympathy and sympathy.

Empathy occurs when a person feels emotions identical to natural ones. So, for example, if grief happened to one person, then another may cry with him. Empathy is an emotional response, an urge to help another. So, if one has a grief, the second does not cry with him, but offers help.

Sympathy is manifested in a warm, benevolent attitude towards other people. So, for example, when you like a person outwardly, i.e. is sympathetic, you want to talk to him.

Empathy helps one person to better understand another, the ability to show another that he is important. Some people have innate empathy or can develop this quality. There are two methods for developing empathy: the self-statement method and the active listening method.

The method of active listening is a technique that is used in the practice of psychological and psychotherapeutic counseling, at various trainings. It allows you to better understand the psychological state, thoughts, feelings of the interlocutor with the help of certain techniques that involve the active manifestation of personal considerations and experiences.

Carl Rogers is considered the author of this method. He believed that four basic elements form the foundation of a meaningful and profitable relationship: the expression of feelings, the regular fulfillment of obligations, the absence of characteristic roles, the ability to participate in the inner life of another.

The essence of the method of active perception lies in the ability to listen, and most importantly, to hear more than what is being reported, while giving direction in the right direction with the help of short phrases. The interlocutor should not just speak out, the conversation partner must invisibly participate in the monologue with the help of simple phrases, as well as repeating the words of the interlocutor, paraphrasing them and directing them in the right direction. This technique is called empathic listening. During such listening, it is necessary to step back from personal thoughts, assessments and feelings. The main point during active listening is that the verbal communication partner should not express his own opinion and thoughts, evaluate this or that act or event.

Active listening has several specific methods: paraphrasing or echo technique, summarizing, emotional repetition, clarification, logical consequence, non-reflective listening, non-verbal behavior, verbal signs, mirror reflection.

Echo technique consists in expressing thoughts differently. The main goal of ecotechnics is to clarify the message, to demonstrate to the communication partner that he has been heard, to give a kind of sound signal "I'm the same as you." This method consists in the fact that one interlocutor returns his statements to another (several phrases or one), paraphrasing them in his own words while inserting introductory phrases. To paraphrase information, it is necessary to choose the most significant and essential points of statements. With the so-called "return" of the remark, it is not necessary to explain what was said.

A feature of this technique is its usefulness in cases where the statements of the interlocutor seem understandable to his communication partner. It often happens that such “understanding” is illusory and there is no real clarification of all the circumstances. Echotechnics can naturally and easily solve such a problem. This technique gives the communication partner an idea that they have understood and push to discuss what seems most important. With the help of paraphrasing, one subject of communication allows another to hear his statement from the outside, makes it possible to notice mistakes, realize and clearly formulate his thoughts. In addition, this technique gives time for reflection, which is especially necessary in a situation where it is impossible to immediately find an answer.

Summarizing consists in summing up, highlighting the main idea, reproducing the words of the interlocutor in a generalized and concise form. The main purpose of such a technique is to show that the one who listens has caught the information of the speaker in full, and not just one part. The summary is conveyed using a specific set of specific phrases. For example, "in this way". This method helps when discussing complaints or solving problems. Summing up is very effective in cases where the clarification is at an impasse or dragged on. This technique is quite effective and harmless way to end a conversation with a too talkative or just talkative interlocutor.

Emotional repetition consists in a brief repetition of what was heard, preferably using key words and turns of the client. In this technique, you can ask questions like: “Did I understand you correctly?” At the same time, the interlocutor is satisfied that he was heard and understood correctly, and the other will remember what he heard.

Clarification consists in addressing the speaker for a specific clarification. You need to start with elementary questions - clarifying. The effectiveness of clarification in most cases depends on the technique of asking questions. Questions should be open-ended, should be - as if unfinished. Clarifying questions usually begin with the words “where”, “how”, “when”, etc. For example: “what do you mean?”. With the help of such questions, you can collect the necessary and meaningful information that reveals the inner meaning of communication. Such questions explain to both partners in the conversation the details that were missed in communication. In this way, they show the interlocutor that the partner is interested in what he hears. With the help of questions, you can influence the situation so that its development takes place in the right direction. With the help of this technique, you can detect lies and their background without generating hostility from the communication partner. For example: “can you repeat it again?” With this technique, you should not ask questions that require one-word answers.

A logical consequence involves the conclusion by the listener of a logical consequence from the statements of the speaking interlocutor. This method makes it possible to clarify the meaning of what was said, to obtain information without using direct questions. This technique differs from others in that the interlocutor does not simply paraphrase or summarize the message, but makes an attempt to derive a logical consequence from the statement, puts forward an assumption about the reasons for the statements. This method involves avoiding rush to conclusions and the use of non-categorical wording and softness of tone.

Non-reflective listening or attentive silence lies in the silent perception of all information without parsing or sorting. Since sometimes any phrase of the listener can either be passed "by the ears", or, even worse, can cause aggression. This is because such phrases run counter to the interlocutor's desire to speak out. When using this method, you need to make it clear to the interlocutor, using a signal, that the listener is focused on his words. As a signal, you can use a nod of the head, a change in facial expression or affirmative remarks.

Non-verbal behavior consists in eye contact with a duration of direct gaze directly into the eyes of the interlocutor for no more than three seconds. Then you need to look at the bridge of the nose, the middle of the forehead, chest.

An active posture means listening with expressive facial expressions, a bright face, and not with a dismissive facial expression.

Verbal signs consist in the interlocutor giving signals of attention with such phrases as: “continue”, “I understand you”, “yes-yes”.

Mirroring is the manifestation of emotions that are consonant with the emotions of a communication partner. However, this method will be effective only when real experiences that are felt at a particular moment are reflected.

Active listening examples

Active listening can be used to improve sales effectiveness. Active perception in sales is one of the main skills of a successful salesperson (sales manager), helping to "talk" the prospective buyer. This skill should be used at all stages of the client-manager interaction. Active listening is more effective at the initial stage of the research, when the seller finds out what exactly the client needs, as well as at the stage of working with objections.

Active listening in sales is essential for customers to be willing to talk about their problems. To make a profitable offer to a specific potential buyer, you need to understand what will be beneficial for him. To find out, you need to ask the right questions. Two methods of active listening are used: non-verbal, paraphrasing, summarizing and clarifying.

Active listening is also necessary when interacting with children, which consists in using certain methods. In order to listen to the child, you should turn to face him so that your eyes are at the same level. If the baby is very small, then you can pick him up or sit down. You should not talk to children from different rooms or turn away from them while doing any housework. Since by the posture the child will judge how important it is for parents to communicate with him. Parents' responses should be in the affirmative. You should avoid phrases that are framed in the form of a question or do not display sympathy. It is necessary to pause after each remark. Gippenreiter described active listening in more detail in her books.

Active listening is indispensable in family relationships, and in business, in almost any area of ​​personal interaction. An example of a rewarding method of active listening is the phrase: "I'm listening to you", "Very interesting." An example of a clarification is the phrase - “How did this happen?”, “What do you mean?”. An example of empathy is the phrase: "you seem a little upset." An example of a summary is the phrase: “as I understand it, is this the key idea of ​​what you said?”.

Active listening exercises

There is a huge variety of different exercises to develop the technique of active listening. The Active Listening exercise involves several participants and will last 60 minutes. All participants sit in a circle. The exercise is performed in pairs, so each participant is offered a choice of choosing a partner.

Next, cards are distributed with written rules for active listening. Roles are assigned in pairs. One partner will be "listening", and the second - "speaking". The task includes several successive stages, designed for a limited period of time. The facilitator tells what needs to be done, when to start the task, and when to finish it.

So, the first stage is that the "speaking" for five minutes tells his partner in a couple about the difficulties of his personal life, problems in interaction with others. The "speaking" should pay special attention to those qualities that give rise to such difficulties. The “listener” at this time must follow the rules of active listening, thereby helping the interlocutor to talk about himself. The host stops the conversation after five minutes. Further, the “speaker” is invited to tell the “listener” for one minute what helps to open up and freely talk about his life, and what, on the contrary, made such a narration difficult. It is important to take this stage seriously, because in this way the “listener” can find out for himself what he is doing wrong.

After a minute, the leader gives the second task. The "speaking" must tell the partner in a couple about the strengths of his personality in communication for five minutes, which helps him establish interaction, build relationships with other subjects. The “listener” must again actively listen, using certain rules and techniques and taking into account the information received from his partner during the previous minute.

After five minutes, the facilitator stops the conversation and proposes a third stage. Now the "listener" must tell the "speaker" in five minutes what he remembered and understood for himself from the partner's two stories about himself. At this time, the “speaker” should be silent and only show with head movements whether he agrees with what the “listener” says or not. If the "speaker" shows that the partner did not understand him, then the "listener" corrects himself until the "speaker" nods, confirming the correctness of the words. After the listener's story is finished, his partner may note what was distorted or omitted.

The second part of the exercise involves changing the roles of "listener" to "talker" and vice versa. These stages are repeated, but the leader each time starts a new stage, gives the task and finishes it.

The last stage will be a joint discussion about which role would be more difficult, which active listening methods were easier to perform, and which, on the contrary, were more difficult, what was harder to talk about, communication difficulties or strengths that partners felt in the role of "talker", what effect did the various actions of the “hearer” have had.

As a result of this exercise, the ability to listen to a communication partner is formed, barriers to listening are realized, such as: assessment, desire to give advice, tell something from past experience. Active listening skills will improve your daily interactions with people in your personal life as well as in your public life. They are also indispensable assistants in doing business, especially if it is related to sales.

Show participants the importance of active listening for effective communication. Visually demonstrate what is the percentage of information loss during communication in one direction, without confirmation of understanding and clarifying questions, as well as clearly demonstrate how information is distorted under the above conditions

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Lesson with elements of training

topic: " " .

Participants: 10th grade students, aged 15-16.

Time: 2 academic hours.

Target: Introduction to the concepts of active and passive listening. Mastering active listening techniques.

Tasks:

• define the concept of listening as an active or passive process;
• in game situations, learn to apply the skills of passive and active listening.

Expected results:Awareness of the importance of using active listening techniques in the process of learning and communication.

Methods:

• information,
• situation modeling,
• situation analysis.

Equipment:

• a computer
• television

Materials :

Plan-summary of the lesson.

Stages of the lesson		Time (min.)
Organizational	Greetings. Expressing the expectations of the participants in the lesson.
Basic	Listen to an excerpt from the song "Failed Date".
Theoretical review	Slideshow. Content discussion.
Diagnostic block (Appendix No. 1)	The host distributes the questionnaires, the participants write down the answers on the sheets, calculate the result. (Of course, this questionnaire cannot be considered as a serious psychodiagnostic study, its main task is to demonstrate 12 signs of "bad listeners").
Theoretical review	The concept of passive listening Discussion.
Practice block. Exercise "Broken phone"	Target: show the participants what is the percentage of information loss during communication in one direction, without confirmation of understanding and clarifying questions. And also, to clearly demonstrate how information is distorted under the above conditions. Description: the host asks 5 volunteers to come out who will take part in the exercise. Explains the rules: 4 people go out the door, one (the one who remains) the host reads the text. The participant's task is to pass on what he memorized to the next participant. Participants come in turn - passively listen and transmit the information received. Discussion:
Theoretical review (Appendix No. 2)	The concept of active listening. Active listening techniques. Discussion.
Practice block. Exercise "Active listening". (Appendix No. 3)	Target: Show participants the importance of active listening for effective communication. Description : 2 people participate. Creation of a game situation of communication. One participant tells a story, the second participant receives a card with a task (demonstrate passive or active listening) story time. Discussion . After acting out each situation, the discussion, what kind of listening was demonstrated? What active listening technique was used? What feelings did the narrator have for his partner?
Consolidation of acquired knowledge and listening skills. Viewing excerpts from the cartoons: "Alyosha Popovich and Tugarin the Serpent", "Rapunzel: a tangled story", the film "The Adventure of Pinocchio"	After watching the fragments, discussion: what kind of listening did the characters use?
Reflection		5-10

STUDY WITH TRAINING ELEMENTS
« Active and passive listening» .

Organizing time.

Meeting the participants and seating them in a semicircle.

Hello guys! I'm glad to see you in class. With what mood did you come to the lesson and what do you expect from it? (Children speak out if they wish). Thank you. I will try to make our lesson not only interesting, but also useful for you.

Slide number 1. "ACTIVE AND PASSIVE LISTENING"

Slide number 2. "The purpose and objectives of the lesson"

1. Introduction to the concepts of active and passive listening.
2. Mastering active listening techniques.

MAIN STAGE

Slide number 3. "Can we listen?"

A fragment of the song "Failed Date" sounds.

Question: Guys, why do you think the date did not take place, and the heroes of the song were angry with each other?

Students' responses.

Slide number 4. "Can we listen?"

“It seems to us that the ability to listen is something that is given to a person at birth, like breathing. But that's just how it seems. We often listen and do not hear the interlocutor. And it happens that we speak, but they do not hear us. The price of such a conversation is small.

Question: The ability to listen to an interlocutor is not an easy job, but do you know how to listen?

Diagnostic block

(Questionnaire "Can you listen?") The host distributes questionnaires (Appendix No. 1), participants write down answers, calculate the result. (Of course, this questionnaire cannot be considered as a serious psychodiagnostic study, its main task is to demonstrate 12 signs of "bad listeners").

Acquaintance with the interpretation of the obtained data.

Leading: everyone got acquainted with their results? Each of you at the moment realized how much he knows how to listen to the interlocutor. Since our lesson is devoted not so much to the ability to hear as to the ability to listen, I ask those guys who scored 10-12 points to be my active assistants. And for those for whom the results of the survey were not entirely pleased, I suggest actively participating in the lesson and mastering the skills of active and passive listening.

You can listen in different ways.

Slide number 5. "Technique of active(empathic) listening.

This is a listening technique that allows you to more accurately understand the state, feelings, thoughts of the interlocutor with the help of special methods of participation in the conversation, which involve the active expression of your own feelings and considerations.

Slide number 6. "Passive Listening Technique".

This is a listening technique in which there is attentive silence without interfering with the speech of the interlocutor or with minimal interference.

If you do not show interest in the conversation, do not show any signs of attention, get off with a rare "uh-huh" or "hmm", which makes it difficult to determine your attitude to what is happening, then this is -passive listening, with him participation in communication is minimal.

Slide number 7. "Factors in the Application of Passive Listening Techniques".

This happens when the topic of conversation or communication with this person is not interesting to you, you would like to get rid of him or stop discussing the issue. But sometimes it is useful not to participate in the conversation in any way, just to be silent, for example, if the interlocutor is engulfed in an emotional state, excited, is under the impression of something so much that he wants to “speak out”, “throw out his feelings”, at the moment he does not notice anything, does not controls himself - in this situation, you just need to listen to him without interrupting. Emotions will “pour out”, a person will calm down and regain the ability to communicate, think and analyze. If the partner’s emotions are directed at you, you have caused them or just happened to be nearby, “under the hot hand”, the main task is not to get infected from the interlocutor with his emotions, not to fall into the same emotional state, which will certainly lead to a violent conflict, “showdown”. ". Listen to him, maybe even thinking about something else, pleasant, and when he "splashes out and runs out", actively engage in a constructive discussion: "Now let's calmly discuss what happened and how to be."

The type of listening in which you are involved in the process of communication and try to understand the interlocutor is calledactive listening.

Slide number 8. "Active Listening Techniques".

Clarification, clarification:

I didn't understand

Repeat one more time…

What do you have in mind?

Could you please explain?

Paraphrase , that is, repeating the words of the interlocutor in your own words to make sure that you understand him correctly:

Reflection of feelings:

I think you feel...

I understand you are angry now...

Summary:

So, do you think...

Your words mean...

In other words…

To consolidate the theory, I propose to perform an exercise.

An exercise " Active listening.

Target: mastering active listening skills.

Description:

Work in pairs. The exercise is performed within 2 minutes.

One of the participants tells something to the other. The listener uses active or passive techniques, to choose from for 1 min. And then, at the sign of the leader, he uses another technique. Then the partners switch roles.

Discussion:

General discussion of the experience gained while working in pairs. Did you manage to guess the listening technique? What listening techniques were used? What techniques contributed to the effectiveness of communication with the interlocutor?

Conclusion: The effectiveness of using the technique of both active and passive listening depends on the circumstances and the emerging situation of communication.

Exercise "Broken phone".

Target: show participants what percentage of information is lost during passive listening, without confirmation of understanding and clarifying questions. And also, to clearly demonstrate how information is distorted under the above conditions.

Description: The host invites 5 volunteers.

Instructions for participants:

4 people go out the door, to one (the one who remained) the presenter reads out the text: “The teacher of the Russian language Tatyana Lvovna asked me to pass Art. educator Nazarov that the excursion to the Catherine Park is postponed from Tuesday, April 24 at 17.00 to Friday, April 27 at 16.00. All participants of the tour should have 50 rubles with them for the purchase of entrance tickets. And also, if desired, nuts or seeds for squirrels. The task of the listening participant is to convey what he memorized to the next participant. Participants enter in turnpassively listeningand transmit the received information.

Discussion: % of the remaining information from the original text and is the passive listening technique effective? What is remembered from our message? What should be remembered from our message?

SUMMARIZING.

"Rapunzel: a tangled story".

Discussion:

Viewing a fragment of the cartoon:Alyosha Popovich and Tugarin the Serpent.

Discussion: What listening technique is shown in the cartoon fragment?

Watching a movie clip"The Adventure of Pinocchio".

Discussion: What listening technique is shown in the movie fragment?

Question:

In your opinion, have we achieved today the goals and objectives set at the beginning of the lesson? What conclusions did you draw from the topic of today's lesson? Why?

Reflection.

Questions to the participants of the lesson: was today's lesson useful for you or not? what is it?

Used Books:

1. William Ury. Overcoming "no" or negotiating with difficult people. - M., 1998.

2. Pankratov V. Manipulations in communication and ways to neutralize them. - M., 2000.

3. Malkhanova I.A. Business conversation. - M., 2002.

Video and audio used:

1. Audio recording of the song "Unsuccessful date", lyrics by S. Trofimov, composer
A. Tsfasman.

2. Video recording of a fragment from the cartoon: "Alyosha Popovich and Tugarin the Serpent". 2004, Russia.

3. Video of a fragment from the cartoon: "Rapunzel: a tangled story"; 2010, Disney.

4. Video recording of a fragment from the film "The Adventure of Pinocchio", 1975, Belarusfilm.

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Application No. 1

Questionnaire "Can you listen?"

Instruction. Try, without much thought, sincerely to answer them "yes" or "no".

	question	Yes	No
	Do you often wait impatiently for the other to finish speaking and give you a chance to speak?
	Are you in a hurry to make a decision before you understand the essence of the problem?
	Is it true that sometimes you only listen to what you like?
	Do your emotions get in the way of listening to your interlocutor?
	Do you often get distracted when your interlocutor expresses his thoughts?
	Do you remember any non-essential things instead of the main points of the conversation?
	Do your own prejudices get in the way of listening to another person?
	Do you stop listening to the interlocutor when there are difficulties in understanding what was said?
	Are you taking a negative stance towards the speaker?
	Do you interrupt the interlocutor?
	Do you avoid the gaze of the interlocutor in a conversation?
	Do you have a strong desire to interrupt the interlocutor and insert your word for him, ahead of his own conclusions?

Processing and interpretation of results.

Count the number of "no" answers.

10-12 points. You know how to listen well enough to the interlocutor. Without being guided by prejudices towards him, you try to highlight the main thing in his words. Your own emotions do not prevent you from listening even to what you do not really like. Therefore, many people like to communicate with you.

8-10 points. Often you show the ability to listen to a partner. Even if you are dissatisfied with something, you still try to listen to your partner to the end. If you are tired of your partner, try to tactfully cut off communication with him. Sometimes you still allow yourself to interrupt the interlocutor in order to insert your “weighty word”.

Less than 8 points. Unfortunately, you have not yet learned to listen to your communication partners. You interrupt them, do not let them speak to the end. If you don't like what the person is saying, stop listening to them.

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Application №2

Topic: “Active and passive listening. Active listening techniques.

The ability to listen to the interlocutor (should be distinguished from instinctive hearing) is an active thought process, the perception of information from speakers, in which a person refrains from expressing his emotions, such an attitude towards the interlocutor, in which the speaker feels interest, empathy, understanding. The ability to listen has two sides: the ability to understand what is heard and to select, accumulate information.

passive listeningis a passive process with no reaction to what is said. The listener, as it were, listens, but does not hear the interlocutor. He is mainly focused on himself. Sometimes at the same time, a person follows the topic of discussion, catching only a moment to enter into it himself. In passive listening, contact with the interlocutor is maintained by the simplest phrases, for example: “Yes”, “uh-huh”, etc. passive listening is very often the only thing the interlocutor needs when he just needs to talk.

Active listening (empathic listening)- this is such a listening, in which they actively make it clear to the interlocutor that they are not only listening to him, but also hearing, and understanding, and even sharing his feelings. As a result, the speaker feels that he is heard and understood, feels trust and support, and much more contact is made, revealing his feelings and experiences.

Rules for Active Listening

• listen from the very first words of the conversation and do not weaken your attention;
• put aside all other activities and listen: do not try to do two things at the same time;
• drive away any negative thoughts about the interlocutor;
• comprehend what you are being told at the moment, do not get ahead of yourself;
• do not interrupt;
• try to be interested in what they are talking about;
• evaluate what is said more on its content than on the manner of presentation;
• Avoid hasty conclusions, remain objective.

Active listening techniques

• "Paraphrase" (“retelling”) - reproduction of the speaker’s thoughts in his own words (“paraphrasing”), for example, “as I understand ...”, “in your opinion ...”, “in other words ...”.

• "Echo Reaction" - repetition of the last word of the interlocutor ("And then we went to the disco. To the disco?")

• Clarifying questions(“What did you mean”?) orsuggestive questions(What? Where? When? Why? Why?)
• Motivation (“Well… And what’s next?”);
• Summary - summarize the main ideas of the partner, connect the main fragments of the conversation into a single whole.

• So, do you think...
• Your words mean...
• in other words

• Reflection of feelings:

• I think you feel...
• I understand you're angry now...

• Expression of emotions:facial expressions, pantomime, laughter, sighs, etc.

Glossary

Empathy from English. empathy - empathy, empathy, the ability to put oneself in the place of another,

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Application №3

Text for the exercise "Broken phone"

1 option . The Chinese language teacher Tatyana Lvovna asked me to pass Art. educator Nazarov that the excursion to the Catherine Park is postponed from Tuesday, April 24 at 17.00 to Friday, April 27 at 16.00. All participants of the tour should have 50 rubles with them for the purchase of entrance tickets. As well as nuts or seeds for squirrels.

Option 2. Librarian Elena Borisovna asked to warn the teacher - organizer Spiridonova that the class hour

Empathic Listening

Empathic listening is useful in conflict situations. If you demonstrate to a person that you understand his feelings, the emotional intensity will undoubtedly subside (“I see you are very disturbed by this situation and it’s unpleasant for you to feel that you cannot always rely on me, but you understand ...”) active passive empathic listening

Practical exercises

Exercise "Broken phone": It is advisable to record the progress of the exercise on a tape recorder or film it with a video camera. All participants go out the door. At the invitation of the leader, they enter one at a time. Each entry is given instructions.

Instruction : imagine that you have received a telephone message, the contents of which must be passed on to the next member of the group. The main thing is to reflect the content accurately and in detail.

The presenter reads the text of the telephone message to the first participant, he must pass it on to the next, etc. If during the execution the text is reduced so much that it becomes too easy to transmit it, then the presenter reads the text again to the next participant.

Text : Ivan Ivanovich called. He asked me to convey that he was delayed in the rono, because. agrees on the receipt of new imported equipment for workshops, which, however, is no better than domestic. He should be back by 5 p.m., the beginning of the teachers’ meeting, but if he doesn’t have time, then he should tell the head teacher that he should change the schedule of senior classes for Monday and Tuesday, inserting an additional 2 hours of astronomy there.

After completing the exercise, the group members listen to the tape and analyze the features of listening (how poor listening can distort the transmitted information).

Listening skill exercise. All participants are divided into 2 teams. It is decided by lot which team will occupy one of the alternative positions.

For example: one team is for free attendance of classes by students, the other is against. Arguments are given by team members one by one. The one whose turn it is to speak should listen to the previous person, reacting “uh-huh”, and after stating the arguments, asks a clarifying question if it was not clear or uses a paraphrase if everything is clear.

Arguments in favor of your team can begin to be stated after the previous one has confirmed that he was understood correctly.

The rest make sure that there is a paraphrase, and not the development of thought and not to attribute what was not in the statement.

Analysis Q: What difficulties did you encounter during the exercise? Have there been cases where paraphrase helped to clarify the position? Who was to blame that the partners did not understand each other - the one who spoke or listened? Etc.

Exercise "Diplomacy": Participants work in pairs. An interesting conversation ensued between you. But one interlocutor is in a hurry and needs to interrupt the conversation, while the other wants to continue it. How to be? Try to get out of this situation without offending the interlocutor.

Exercise "Revelation": The exercise is performed in 3 stages. Participants work in pairs.

Stage 1. One partner is invited to talk about their difficulties in relationships with other people, fears, prejudices, doubts.

The second listens attentively using active, passive, or empathic listening techniques:

• 2 stage. The speaker makes comments about the behavior of the listener.
• 3 stage. The listener repeats in his own words everything he heard from the speaker, and the speaker expresses agreement or disagreement with a nod.

At the leader's signal, the partners change roles. At the end - an exchange of impressions in the group.

Exercise "Reflection of feelings": Participants are divided into pairs. The first member of the couple utters an emotionally charged phrase. The second - repeats in his own words the content of what he heard (paraphrase). Then he tries to determine the feeling experienced by the partner at the moment of speaking (reflection of feelings). The partner evaluates the accuracy of both reflections. Then there is the exchange of roles.

Exercise "Empathy": All participants sit in a circle. One utters an emotionally charged phrase. The other members of the group take turns naming the feeling they think the speaker is trying to express.

Exercise "you're still doing well, because ...": Participants work in pairs. The first member of the couple says: "They don't like me because ...". The second, having listened, should respond, beginning with the words: "Anyway, you're done well, because ...".

Then the partners switch roles. At the end, a group discussion is organized: who could not or did not have time to provide support and why. How did the one to whom the support was addressed feel.

Man is a social being. In the course of our lives, we constantly interact with a large number of people. Career growth, family well-being and material wealth of an individual depend on how high-quality this communication will be. It seems that there is nothing easier to communicate with other people, get the necessary information in the process and apply it in certain situations. However, as practice shows, communication of any level is difficult for many people from birth. In the future, this leads to serious problems and significantly reduces the quality of life.

Therefore, in psychology, active listening techniques have been developed that make it possible to establish relationships not only between two individuals, but also within an entire social group. Recently, these methods and techniques are in great demand, in the age of high technology, not everyone has the gift of understanding the interlocutor, and therefore turns to specialists for help. In today's article, we will talk about the methods, techniques and techniques of active listening that many people successfully apply in their lives, noting their unprecedented effectiveness.

Understanding terminology

The concept of active listening is quite simple and complex at the same time. It implies a special communicative skill that involves the semantic perception of the speech of the interlocutor.

This technique shows that all its participants are interested in the conversation, it makes it possible to correctly evaluate the words and presentation of the speaker, direct the conversation in the right direction and leave only the most pleasant impressions about yourself.

In addition, the process of active listening is always aimed at creating a trusting atmosphere and a desire to better understand and accept the position of your interlocutor. This technique is actively used during the provision of psychological assistance. After all, a specialist, in order to help his client, must fully enter into his position and experience the same range of emotions.

Many psychologists say that thanks to active listening techniques, you can quickly improve relationships between parents and children, as well as resolve intra-family conflicts that have been tormenting a couple for a long time. Some virtuosos use this technique at work, and they say that it is extremely effective.

A bit of history

The Soviet public learned about active listening from Yulia Gippenreiter, a successful practicing psychologist specializing in family problems. It was she who drew attention to the fact that understanding, perception and attention are important for resolving many intra-family conflicts.

Based on her practice, she developed active listening techniques that are still used today. With their help, you can relieve tension in relations in a few minutes, create a special atmosphere of trust, conducive to conversation. During the conversation, it is enough to use several methods and techniques to understand all the emotional experiences of your interlocutor and become closer to him.

But emotional intimacy is the foundation on which you can build a strong family and become for your child not just an authoritative parent, but first of all a friend. Therefore, it can be argued that the methods and techniques of active listening will be useful to every person without exception.

Techniques

What is the purpose of listening to the interlocutor? This question cannot always be answered unambiguously. But psychologists say that the goal should always be information. The listener is trying to extract the maximum information from the conversation in order to correctly evaluate it and come to certain conclusions. However, the result of the conversation does not always depend on the eloquence of the speaker, the ability to listen is a rare gift that can bring invaluable benefits to its owner.

Psychologists can always distinguish an active listener from any other. They argue that an interested person always listens as if with his whole body. He is turned to face the interlocutor, maintains visual contact with him, often the body is tilted towards the speaker. All these are certain conditions for active listening, because on a non-verbal level, our brain perceives all these actions as a readiness for a conversation. A person relaxes and is ready to convey to us exactly what worries him. This is where active listening techniques come in handy, there are three of them:

• Paraphrasing.
• Interpretation.

The "echo" technique in the active listening technique is used very often. It consists in repeating the last words of the interlocutor, but with an interrogative intonation. It implies clarification. You seem to be trying to realize whether you understood your opponent correctly. He, in turn, feels his importance and your interest in the information presented.

Paraphrasing is also necessary for clarification. You retell the essence of what was said in your own words, wondering if the interlocutor had in mind. This technique prevents the occurrence of misunderstandings in the conversation. Each of the speakers will know for sure that the information is transmitted and understood correctly.

Interpretation also serves to increase the level of trust and understanding between the two interlocutors. After the voiced information, the listener can retell it in his own words and make an assumption about the meaning that the speaker put into it. Thus, possible conflicts are leveled, and the significance of the conversation increases significantly.

Important Elements of Active Listening

I would like to note that for all its apparent simplicity, active listening is a rather complex system that requires careful study. It is a multi-level structure consisting of several elements.

The most important of them is the unconditional acceptance of the interlocutor. Only in this way it is recommended to build relationships with loved ones. By nature, a person is more inclined to speak than to listen. Against this background, everyone who knows how to listen and hear looks more advantageous and has every chance of success. Unconditional acceptance can be thought of as a deep interest in the other person who feels important and becomes more open. Acceptance is often expressed in numerous questions asked to the interlocutor. They allow you to learn a lot of new information and show how important the speaker is to you.

Another element of active listening are non-verbal beacons. Periodic nodding of the head, shaking it, moving closer to the interlocutor - all this makes him feel your interest in the conversation. Sometimes you can insert interjections, making it clear that you are still listening carefully to the person and understand everything that he wants to tell you.

It is also impossible to imagine active listening without getting into the emotional state of your partner. Empathy, expressed in simple words, increases the level of understanding between the interlocutors. However, do not overuse phrases. It is enough just to support a person, showing that you fully share his emotions in a given situation.

Feedback verbal communication is no less important in communication. Through leading questions, you will receive confirmation that you understand your partner correctly. Between you there will be no doubts in sincerity. In addition, the interlocutor will be sure that they treat him without prejudice. Feel free to contact your partner for clarification. However, never continue his thoughts, even when it seems to you that you know exactly what will be discussed. The development of thought should go smoothly and it is necessary for the one who started it to finish it. In this case, you show your respect, interest and acceptance of the interlocutor.

Principles of active perception

Some psychologists equate active listening with empathy. Despite the differences in these concepts, they have quite a lot in common. Indeed, without the ability to empathize, read and feel other people's emotions, it is impossible to find mutual understanding and learn not only to listen, but also to hear a person. This gives him a sense of worth and boosts his self-esteem. Therefore, do not forget about the basic principles of active perception:

• Neutral position. As much as you want, refuse any assessment of the information given by the interlocutor. Only by being calm and a little distant from the problem can you continue the conversation and avoid a possible conflict situation. The speaker will feel that you respect his views and appreciate the opinion expressed.
• Goodwill. This approach creates a trusting relationship between the interlocutors. During the conversation, do not stop looking into the person’s eyes, ask him leading questions in a quiet voice that maintains the created atmosphere, and do not interrupt even the longest speech.
• Sincerity. Don't try active listening unless you really want to understand the person. He, like the conversation itself, should be interesting to you. Bad mood, irritability and resentment can be good reasons to postpone even the most important conversation. Otherwise, none of the active listening techniques will help you. Do not try to replace sincerity with banal politeness. The interlocutor will quickly feel your coldness, and you will not get the desired result.

Remember that you can understand the speaker only when you feel his emotional background, but concentrate on the words spoken. If you allow yourself to be completely and completely immersed in other people's emotions, then most likely you will miss the point of the conversation.

Active listening techniques in brief

Most psychologists advise mastering the techniques of active perception of information to anyone who seeks to gain new contacts and wants to be successful in all social groups. In addition, it will help to better understand your other half and children.

Active listening techniques include:

• pause;
• clarification;
• development of thought;
• retelling;
• perception message;
• self-perception message;
• comments on the course of the conversation.

Mastery of all seven techniques greatly facilitates a person's life, because he will be able to establish contact with any interlocutor. Such skills are highly valued in the modern world. Therefore, in the following sections of the article, we will go through each item in the above list in detail.

Pause

People often underestimate the possibilities of this technique. But it gives the speaker an opportunity to gather his thoughts, think about the information and continue the conversation with new details. After all, sometimes after receiving active listening “pause”, the interlocutor opens up even more fully.

For the listener, a forced short silence is also useful. It allows you to move away from the emotions of your verbal partner a little and completely focus on his words.

Clarification

An ordinary conversation involves a lot of omissions, reticences and understatements. They are thought out by both sides in an arbitrary order, but with active perception, this cannot be allowed. After all, the main goal is to extract truthful and as complete information as possible on the topic of the conversation, as well as to establish contact with a partner.

Therefore, the refinement performs two functions at once:

• clarifies what has been said through directed dialogue;
• allows you to gently bypass the most acute and painful issues.

This maintains mutual understanding and trust between the interlocutors.

Development of thought

Sometimes the speaker becomes so immersed in his emotions that he gradually loses the thread of the conversation. Reception "development of thought" is the unobtrusive direction of the conversation in the right direction. The listener repeats the thought expressed earlier, and his interlocutor returns to it and develops it.

retelling

This technique can be called a kind of feedback. After a large block of expressed thoughts and voiced emotions, the listener briefly retells everything he heard. The speaker emphasizes the most important thing, which in some cases becomes an intermediate result of the conversation.

Often, retelling becomes an indicator of understanding between the interlocutors and the listener's interest in the ongoing conversation.

Perception message

This technique is good when communicating between spouses or parents and children. As a result of the conversation or in its process, the listener reports the impression that the verbal partner and the conversation itself made on him.

Self-perception message

At the moment of communication, the listener can tell about his emotional reaction to certain words of the interlocutor. It can be positive or negative. However, in any case, the reaction should be communicated in a calm and friendly tone.

Notes on the course of the conversation

At the end of the conversation, the listener sums up some results that give a certain color and meaning to the conversation. The speaker can confirm or refute these conclusions.

Active Listening Examples

Where can you apply the acquired knowledge in practice? Believe me, you will definitely use them, for example, in communicating with children. The conversation will always be effective if you can adhere to some rules of active listening:

• look into the eyes;
• speak affirmatively and calmly;
• fully concentrate on the conversation and put aside other things;
• each phrase should display sympathy and understanding.

In any personal interaction, the techniques and methods described by us earlier can be expressed in correctly constructed phrases. For example, the following options can be given:

• "I understand you well."
• "I am listening really carefully".
• "It is interesting".
• "What do you have in mind?".
• "How did it happen?" and the like.

It is impossible to imagine the sphere of sales without the use of active listening techniques. They are especially relevant in the process of communication between the client and the manager.

Psychologists believe that the ability to hear the interlocutor and ask him the right questions can work wonders. Try active listening in practice and maybe your life will be a little different.