Man is always dissatisfied with what he has.

Why do most of us feel so bad when by all indications it should be good?

If there were a good wizard somewhere, I would ask him to reveal to people the biggest secret in the world: why do most of us feel so bad when, by all indications, it should be good? Most of us have a job or other source of steady income, where to live, what to eat, what to drink, what to wear, where to have fun. It would seem, live and rejoice, enjoy this being! Not! Wherever you look, discord, hostility, discord, splits, oppressive loneliness are everywhere. There is hardly a person in Russia who would not have any sorrows, problems, unpleasant worries at all.

A disease called "bad life"

Why is there so much grief, pain, suffering in our world, a world conceived to be beautiful? Someone will answer me: the problem is in bad rulers, politicians who think only about their own pocket, in general corruption, in harmful bosses who suck "blood" from their subordinates, in worthless neighbors and acquaintances who sleep and see how to harm us . The big problem is in the wife (husband), who does not want to match my idea of ​​​​an ideal woman (man), in children who do not want to listen to my advice or orders, in parents who are “morally obsolete” and, not understanding anything in the “current moment of history”, climb with their instructions.

So, one of the main causes of the disease called "life is bad", in my opinion, is a chronic dissatisfaction with everything and everything. Even against the background of external well-being, we find reasons to be dissatisfied. First of all, of course, dissatisfied with their close, dear people. Nagging, quarrels, conflicts, going to mother, and finally, the catastrophe of divorce are the consequences of chronic discontent syndrome. Many people go to work as hard labor, because they constantly experience negative emotions in all areas: the content of the work, its conditions and the amount of payment, colleagues, bosses, subordinates.

What is behind the discontent that pretty much poisons our lives? And is it possible to become truly happy, full of life and always joyful? Is it possible to be happy with everything? Let's talk about this.

The Spiritual Nature of Discontent

It seems that dissatisfaction is fueled by selfishness, a high opinion of oneself,. A proud man who loves himself to the extreme, who thinks highly of himself, puts himself as the measure of everything and everything. Myself! He is the center of the universe, he is the connoisseur of life, he is the infallible judge. Of course, it is human nature to love oneself, it is natural to regard oneself as an authority, it is natural to forgive oneself for mistakes, shortcomings and sins. But the problem is different: a person considers his opinion, his views, his assessments to be the only correct ones. He trusts himself one hundred percent! He can't be wrong! He is always right! This means that he knows how everything in this world should be, how others should treat him, how life should be built.

Accordingly, dissatisfaction with anyone and whatever happens to such a person whenever the actions of other people run counter to the ideal model of the structure of the world that a person has come up with for himself.

For example, I consider it normal that when I come home in the evening, I can count on my wife, who came home before me, to cook dinner. And then it turns out that she was carried away by an interesting TV show and did not cook dinner. A legitimate reason for dissatisfaction and grumbling? Well, how! Still what lawful, without any alternatives! Why? Because I know for sure that the wife MUST do this, and not otherwise. And if such “tricks” on her part happen regularly, I will start thinking - should I change my wife?

A wife can also “annoy” her husband with nit-picking and whining, because he is small, there are no career prospects, they still cannot buy a car, and he is also a poor housekeeper, devotes little time to a child, etc. etc. Why so? Because in the ideal world invented by the wife, the husband should correspond to the well-known song: “So that he doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke and always gives flowers, so that he gives his salary, calls his mother-in-law mom, was indifferent to football, but was not boring in the company, and besides so that he was both handsome and smart.

Or at work: a picky boss who rather rigidly requires a clear performance of functional duties, shouts, threatens, harasses, and so on ... He would leave if there was somewhere. But you have to, clenching yourself into a fist, endure. At least he gets paid for his work.

We want to change others, and when this fails, we get angry, resentful, upset.

Familiar pictures? I think for many of us - yes, acquaintances. We want to change the world for the better, but according to the model that we ourselves consider the best. We want to change others, adjust them to ourselves, and when this fails, we get angry, indignant, upset. What kind of happiness is there? What joy? One dissatisfaction.

What to do? The answer suggests itself: you do not need to change the world for yourself, but change yourself for the world. Do not try to adapt others to suit you, but adapt yourself to others - primarily to the closest, dearest people. However, this is possible if the measure of the “correctness” of the world around us and people is not me, who is not without flaws, but Someone Else. Absolute ideal, without the slightest speck. And we have such an ideal. This is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Gotta turn your life around

Our Lord Jesus Christ took on human flesh, became the same as we are, a man, except for sin. There was no sin in Him. With all His earthly life, His teaching, and finally, His sufferings and death on the cross, which He went out of love for His creatures, He testified to the great truth for all the coming ages: one can become like, draw closer to God only through self-denial, through sacrifice, through love. . Christ is an example to follow for everyone who wants to find happiness both in this short-term earthly life and in the afterlife, eternal.

Why is a person who loves Christ satisfied with his life?

Why is a truly believing, Christ-loving person satisfied with his life? Because he sees in the people around him the image of God, he sees Christ, who is love, peace, joy, bliss. The believer sees Christ in every person, no matter how outwardly evil he may be. A believer measures the world around him not by himself, but by God, Who commanded to love everyone, even enemies, to forgive any offense, not to hold evil on anyone, but to seek peace, peace and joy everywhere. And if a Christian does not like something, he does not grumble or get irritated, showing humility without grumbling and discontent.

Why does a person need it? Yes, because he wants to become like his heavenly Teacher and Father, who said: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest; take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls; for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

To find real happiness, you need to learn from Christ meekness and humility

Everything is simple! In order to find real happiness, joy - according to the word of Christ, “peace”, - you need to learn from Him meekness and. If we succeed, dissatisfaction with others will simply disappear from our lives.

True faith turns many things in our lives 180 degrees.

We were intolerant of the misdeeds of others and forgave ourselves of our own spiritual ailments? Faith makes us intolerant of our sins and encourages us to forgive the sins of others.

We were in constant dissatisfaction - with other people, wages, politics, bosses, our fate? But have we always been happy with ourselves? Faith reveals to us the truth about ourselves: it turns out that we are far from perfect. Faith teaches us to be dissatisfied with ourselves, with our rotten words, deeds and thoughts - this is the only way to reconciliation with everyone, the path to which Christ calls us.

"Gone out"?

A person, finding Christ, finds a source of endless joy. Only those who have fallen with their whole being to the Savior can understand the words: “Always rejoice. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks” (1 Thess. 5:16-18). It is impossible to rejoice, experiencing discontent, hostility towards someone or something. It is necessary to cover everything - shortcomings, weaknesses, sins of other people - with love. This is the way of Christ. And the path to true joy and happiness. Why? Yes, because through forgiveness and love for all, peace, tranquility, and silence are established in the soul of a person. The source of this world is a clear conscience.

A man striving for salvation is a peace-lover and a peacemaker

A believer who strives for salvation is a peace-lover and a peacemaker. He must sow peace and love everywhere around him, wasting the warmth of his heart on reconciling the warring, uniting the divided, establishing understanding among the irreconcilable. This is difficult at first, because the devil strongly resists, but then it gets easier and easier, because the Lord helps.

The Lord Himself wants us to be just that happy. After all, He is our Father. How can the Father not want good for His children? Only we, being free, decide for ourselves whether we want to be happy or seek "happiness" in an attempt to change others according to our "templates". But these attempts are always accompanied by bitter tension, displeasure. It happens that a person spends his whole life in the sorrows of chronic discontent, in grumbling and irritation. That's why he has a bad life. It happens that when a grumpy woman dies, acquaintances say about her: "I've been exhausted." It seems that now There, in Heaven, she will certainly live happily ever after. How, with her suffering, she deserved eternal rest!

It seems to be a big mistake to consider the afterlife blissful eternity as a reward for sorrows and sufferings in this, earthly life. Of course, if outwardly a person’s life was mournful, but inside he found Christ, became related to Him and endured all the misfortunes sent down steadfastly, with the hope of God’s help, then, of course, eternal joy can await him in the Other world. But if the mournful life of a person has become a direct result of chaos in his soul, his irreconcilable rejection of God, his faith in his exceptional infallibility, then he is unlikely to calm down there either, that is, he will rest in peace.

Joy, I am sure, begins to be acquired even here on earth. The only way to this joy is the way of ascent to Christ, by which the whole world around is measured and by which alone a benevolent, full of love attitude is acquired towards all who meet on our life path...

Everyone can become more confident in themselves and resist their bad inclinations. There are plenty of reasons for people to be dissatisfied with themselves, but this can be changed. Start today so that tomorrow becomes positive and successful for you.

1. High expectations

Hopes that make no sense make us unhappy. Do not dream about what you cannot control, so as not to experience negative emotions. Do not harbor false hopes, because your conjectures are not always a guarantee of the fulfillment of what you think.

2. Feeling special

A sense of uniqueness and specialness is instilled in us from childhood. However, often parents unknowingly harm their children. Pets who have always been told that they are special and unique face the cruel real world over time. They are not able to resolve issues on their own, and begin to experience discontent, which can easily turn into anger or depression.

3. Wrong values

Don't be obsessed with anything. For example, the desire to acquire the wealth of the world can lead you to great disappointment. Shock will play a trick on you if you realize that not everything is subject to you.

4. Strive for more

Such a character trait is commendable, but many people forget to have time to rejoice at what they have already achieved. The reason for dissatisfaction with oneself is simple: in the pursuit of new conquests, people become immune to reality, forget to enjoy the current moment and are always in a hurry to do at least something else to find happiness. Such a race in the end will not lead to anything good.

5. Hopes placed in others

Stop shifting your responsibility to the people around you. Remember that you and only you have to deal with your problems. You can ask for advice or help, but don't force anyone to do their job. So you will be less disappointed in its result.

6. Fear of disappointment

This fear is a big problem for people. We are disappointed in ourselves, not realizing that the first and most difficult step must be taken, overcoming the fear of the unknown. Remember that without mistakes you will not gain valuable experience that will help you become more successful. Don't get mad at yourself.

7. Wrong environment

Often we choose the wrong company, job or friends. Disappointment can overtake you if there are people in your environment who are accustomed to complaining about fate, with low self-esteem and with a lack of specific goals in life. Do not forget that they can "drag" you into the abyss of hopelessness. Do not give up on yourself, but look for the environment that will help you to strive higher and be a positive person.

Media influence

How we feel about ourselves is largely dependent on our environment. And most of all, we are influenced by the media and the content that we consume.

As soon as we stop thinking that something is wrong with us, we will begin to notice what is happening around us and become aware of how advertising works. She bombards us with images of the “ideal” so that we always want to buy more and more.

We are made to think that now we are not good enough, but if we buy this or that product ... Only when we buy it, everything repeats again. And we again and again try to change ourselves in order to finally correspond to the ideal imposed on us.

childhood experience

Of course, it's not just the media. We are also influenced by the conclusions we learned in . Here's what psychologist Karyl McBride, who specializes in working with children from disadvantaged families, has to say about this.

Take, for example, families in which one of the parents suffers from alcohol addiction. The child does not understand why the parent sometimes engages in it, and sometimes ignores it. In a family where one of the parents suffers from narcissistic personality disorder, the child does not understand that such a parent is not able to show empathy or love. In families with domestic violence, the child does not understand why adults do such terrible things. The child tries to solve the problems of adults in order to achieve his main goal - to receive love and care. Of course, this happens unconsciously, but such behavior can manifest itself at a very early age.

Caryl McBride

We continue to think this way into adulthood, allowing external factors to influence ours. When we see things going wrong, we look for ways to fix the situation.

If someone treats us badly, we immediately assume that something is wrong with us. We cannot control what people think about us, so we begin to change something in our behavior: the way we dress, talk, laugh. And then we say to ourselves: “Since the opinion of this person has not changed, then the problem is in me.”

We are faced with a problem and instead of understanding its cause and somehow solving the situation, we are trying to change ourselves. In the end, such behavior only hurts. Because sooner or later it starts to seem to us that we will never change, we will never become “correct”.

How to deal with it

You need to change your approach. Say to yourself: “I am not inferior to others, I am good enough. I can always develop and become even better.”

Let this attitude towards yourself become your new natural reaction to the world around you. Of course, to believe this, you will need to take concrete measures. It's not enough to just say you believe it. You need to get it into your head.

1. Consider who you admire and then ask yourself what that person would appreciate about you.

This is very . Think of the people you admire and respect, those you would like to look up to, and try to find some traits in yourself that could cause admiration from them. You don't need to have any grandiose achievements to do this. The main thing is to stop considering yourself inferior.

2. Treat yourself no worse than you would treat your subordinates.

Stop being cruel to yourself. If you treated your subordinates in the same way, they would not only quit, but they would also sue you. Much of what we say to ourselves, we would never say to another person. So stop doing that.

Ask yourself: “Would I say this to someone else?” This is a great way to evaluate how you feel about yourself.

3. Don't self-eat

This is especially important. Even if you do deserve criticism, self-flagellation will only make you more angry with yourself. Admit that you made a mistake. Accept it and move on.

If you believe you are good enough, then no matter what the media or others tell you, you will put in the effort and be able to achieve your goals. But if you are convinced that you are not up to the rest in some way, it turns out that you gave up before you even got down to business.