A funny story for children about school. New life A

In March 1980 we moved to a new apartment. I don’t remember the removal of furniture, the unintelligible swearing of the movers, or the blank face of my mother. Is it just: bundles of books along the wall of the hall, a subscription to the magazine “Knowledge is Power”. The day before, my mother read aloud from the latest issue a chapter of the novel “The Beetle in the Anthill” by the Strugatskys. Mom always read, regardless of my age, what was most interesting. And I was interested in listening to my mother’s intonations, watching my mother’s moving face and, often not keeping up with events, hastily inventing my own parallel world. The beetle, for example, seemed to me like a dung beetle, only disproportionately large, and the ants looked like cockroaches. Sometimes my mother’s voice broke, and close tears always appeared in her eyes. I immediately cried readily, and therefore was considered a sensitive and even empathetic child in the family. The bright March sun, persistent drops - in those years the seasons fit into the framework designated by man. Books were loaded last. Then my grandfather and I rode a trolleybus for a long time. Even before that, we weren’t exactly living in the center. But now they have moved to the very outskirts. Our street ran into a ring road, right under the window there was a piece of iron. The housewarming was celebrated in May, along with my sixth birthday. All those invited brought me gifts. The repeated half-joking “master” now referred to me. In the evening there were sparklers and promises to visit. Lonely woman with a lonely child. Someone was building life prospects. Vysotsky died in the summer. After his father, he was the second man in the family. But, unlike his father, they always listened to him unquestioningly. Small minion records and brown tapes, I don’t remember how the tape recorder came to us. The first sea in my life. Smooth, as if melted shards of glass, fine sand in all the folds of the body, amazing rags of peeling skin. Along the beach there are wide-shouldered vendors selling boiled corn from large aluminum pans. Having laid me on an air mattress, my mother swam away from the shore. I lowered my face in a transparent mask into the water and looked at the green darkness. And at this time the Olympics were going on at our house. In the evenings we sat down in front of the TV and watched them run and jump. But I quickly got bored and went to tease the dog guarding the house. One day she was not on the chain, and my leg was adorned with the first scar. In September it was possible to go to school. But I grew up as a sickly child, and my grandfather, a doctor, insisted that I must outgrow it. New kindergarten. In the past I was in good standing: I sculpted revolvers from plasticine and was elected commander more than once in minor skirmishes. And here - a stranger, I internally shrank. I was given a locker in the locker room for two people with a big-eyed girl. It was a shame, but I found myself: a few courageous words. A little girlish indignation, and a merciless description: “shit.” This is how my first love began. I remember: her excited girlfriends came running to me, out of breath, with difficulty shooting out: “Slava, they’re beating Lena.” I fought mercilessly with all her offenders. To gain extra weight, he ate sand and plasticine. I learned to whistle, first while inhaling, and then while exhaling. I was waiting for her. Everywhere and everywhere. After breakfast in the locker room, after a cold at the gates of the kindergarten. He always ran ahead, stood and smiled. It all ended in the summer of the next year, 1981. I went to the first pioneer camp in my life. And then there was the first grade of school. And she, as I guessed, was sent to another. I knew roughly where she lived, and sometimes in the fall or on New Year’s I walked in that area, taking a closer look. I stood in the early twilight, searching the windows with my eyes, inventing biographies. Grown up. Fell in love. I got disappointed and wandered under the windows again. Last call. The first abandoned institute. Leapfrog of applied specialties. Mom was crying. I was gaining a taste for life. At the age of twenty he had his fill, entered the university, and got married. At twenty-one I went with my wife to Crimea. In Yalta, on a cobblestone alley along the sea, we ran into each other. Three of us. In her mocking eyes it was read: “I couldn’t wait.” I hardly slept that night. For the first time, my heart ached - a consequence of rapid growing up. And now, sometimes, it hurts. Especially after the holidays. But for the first time, it was then.

L. N. Tolstoy “Filipok”

(True)

There was a boy, his name was Philip. Once all the boys went to school. Philip took his hat and wanted to go too. But his mother told him:

- Where are you going, Filipok?

- To school.

“You’re still young, don’t go.” “And his mother left him at home.”

The guys went to school. The father left for the forest in the morning, the mother went to work as a day laborer. Filipok and grandma remained in the hut on the stove.

Filip became bored alone, his grandmother fell asleep, and he began to look for his hat. I couldn’t find mine, so I took my father’s old one and went to school.

The school was outside the village near the church. When Filipok walked through his settlement, the dogs did not touch him - they knew him. But when he went out to other people’s yards, Zhuchka jumped out, barked, and behind Zhuchka was a large dog, Volchok. Filipok started to run, the dogs followed him. Filipok began to scream, tripped and fell. A man came out, drove the dogs away and said:

-Where are you, little shooter, running alone?

Filipok said nothing, picked up the floors and started running at full speed. He ran to the school. There is no one on the porch, but in the school you can hear the voices of the children buzzing. Fear came over Filip: “What if the teacher drives me away?” And he began to think about what he should do. To go back - the dog will eat again, to go to school - he is afraid of the teacher. A woman walked past the school with a bucket and said:

- Everyone is studying, but why are you standing here?

Filipok went to school.

In the senets he took off his hat and opened the door. The whole school was full of children. Everyone shouted their own, and the teacher in a red scarf walked in the middle.

- What are you doing? - he shouted at Filip.

Filipok grabbed his hat and nothing

did not tell.

- Who are you?

Filipok was silent.

- Or are you dumb?

Filipok was so frightened that he could not speak.

- Well, then go home if you don’t want to talk.

And Filipok would be glad to say something, but his throat was dry from fear. He looked at the teacher and began to cry. Then the teacher felt sorry for him. He stroked his head and asked the guys who this boy was.

- This is Filipok, Kostyushkin’s brother, he has been asking to go to school for a long time, but his mother won’t let him, and he came to school on the sly.

“Well, sit on the bench next to your brother, and I’ll ask your mother to let you go to school.”

The teacher began to show Filipok the letters, but Filipok already knew them and could read a little.

- Come on, say your name.

Filipok said:

- Hve-i - hvi, le-i - li, pe-ok - pok.

Everyone laughed.

“Well done,” said the teacher. -Who taught you to read?

Filipok dared and said:

- Kostyushka! I'm poor, I immediately understood everything. I am passionately so clever!

The teacher laughed and said:

- Stop boasting and learn.

Since then, Filipok began going to school with the children.

M. Zoshchenko “Don’t lie”

I studied for a very long time. There were still gymnasiums back then. And the teachers then put marks in the diary for each lesson asked. They gave any score - from five to one inclusive.

And I was very small when I entered the gymnasium, the preparatory class. I was only seven years old.

And I still didn’t know anything about what happens in gymnasiums. And for the first three months I literally walked around in a fog.

And then one day the teacher told us to memorize a poem:

The moon shines merrily over the village,

White snow sparkles with blue light...

But I didn’t memorize this poem. I didn't hear what the teacher said. I didn’t hear because the boys who were sitting behind either slapped me on the back of the head with a book, then smeared ink on my ear, then pulled my hair and, when I jumped up in surprise, they placed a pencil or insert under me. And for this reason, I sat in class, frightened and even stunned, and all the time I listened to what else the boys sitting behind me were planning against me.

And the next day, as luck would have it, the teacher called me and ordered me to recite the assigned poem by heart.

And I not only didn’t know him, but I didn’t even suspect that there were such poems in the world. But out of timidity, I did not dare to tell the teacher that I did not know these verses. And completely stunned, he stood at his desk, not saying a word.

But then the boys began to suggest these poems to me. And thanks to this, I began to babble what they whispered to me.

And at this time I had a chronic runny nose, and I couldn’t hear well in one ear and therefore had difficulty understanding what they were telling me.

I somehow managed to pronounce the first lines. But when it came to the phrase: “The cross under the clouds burns like a candle,” I said: “The crackling under the clouds hurts like a candle.”

Here there was laughter among the students. And the teacher laughed too. He said:

- Come on, give me your diary here! I'll put a unit there for you.

And I cried, because it was my first unit and I didn’t yet know what happened.

After classes, my sister Lelya came to pick me up to go home together.

On the way, I took the diary out of my backpack, unfolded it to the page where the unit was written, and said to Lelya:

- Lelya, look, what is this? The teacher gave me this for the poem “The moon shines merrily over the village.”

Lelya looked and laughed. She said:

- Minka, this is bad! It was your teacher who gave you a bad grade in Russian. This is so bad that I doubt that dad will give you a photographic device for your name day, which will be in two weeks.

I said:

- What should we do?

Lelya said:

— One of our students took and glued two pages in her diary, where she had a unit. Her dad drooled on his fingers, but couldn’t peel it off and never saw what was there.

I said:

- Lyolya, it’s not good to deceive your parents!

Lelya laughed and went home. And in a sad mood I went into the city garden, sat down on a bench there and, unfolding the diary, looked with horror at the unit.

I sat in the garden for a long time. Then I went home. But when I approached the house, I suddenly remembered that I had left my diary on a bench in the garden. I ran back. But in the garden on the bench there was no longer my diary. At first I was scared, and then I was glad that now I no longer have the diary with this terrible unit with me.

I came home and told my father that I had lost my diary. And Lelya laughed and winked at me when she heard these words of mine.

The next day, the teacher, having learned that I had lost the diary, gave me a new one.

I opened this new diary with the hope that this time there was nothing bad there, but there again there was a one against the Russian language, even more bold than before.

And then I felt so frustrated and so angry that I threw this diary behind the bookcase that stood in our classroom.

Two days later, the teacher, having learned that I did not have this diary, filled out a new one. And, in addition to a one in the Russian language, he gave me a two in behavior. And he told my father to definitely look at my diary.

When I met Lelya after class, she told me:

“It won’t be a lie if we temporarily seal the page.” And a week after your name day, when you receive the camera, we will peel it off and show dad what was there.

I really wanted to get a photographic camera, and Lelya and I taped up the corners of the ill-fated page of the diary.

In the evening dad said:

- Come on, show me your diary! Interesting to know if you picked up any units?

Dad began to look at the diary, but did not see anything bad there, because the page was taped over.

And when dad was looking at my diary, suddenly someone rang on the stairs.

Some woman came and said:

“The other day I was walking in the city garden and there on a bench I found a diary. I recognized the address from his last name and brought it to you so that you could tell me if your son had lost this diary.

Dad looked at the diary and, seeing one there, understood everything.

He didn't yell at me. He just said quietly:

— People who lie and deceive are funny and comical, because sooner or later their lies will always be revealed. And there was never a case in the world where any of the lies remained unknown.

I, red as a lobster, stood in front of dad, and I was ashamed of his quiet words.

I said:

- Here's what: I threw another one of my, the third, diary with a unit behind a bookcase at school.

Instead of getting even more angry with me, dad smiled and beamed. He grabbed me in his arms and started kissing me.

He said:

“The fact that you admitted this made me extremely happy.” You confessed something that could have remained unknown for a long time. And this gives me hope that you won’t lie anymore. And for this I will give you a camera.

When Lyolya heard these words, she thought that dad had gone crazy in his mind and now gives everyone gifts not for A's, but for un's.

And then Lelya came up to dad and said:

“Daddy, I also got a bad grade in physics today because I didn’t learn my lesson.”

But Lelya’s expectations were not met. Dad got angry with her, kicked her out of his room and told her to sit down with her books immediately.

And then in the evening, when we were going to bed, the bell suddenly rang.

It was my teacher who came to dad. And he said to him:

“Today we were cleaning our classroom, and behind the bookcase we found your son’s diary. How do you like this little liar and deceiver who left his diary so that you would not see him?

Dad said:

“I have already personally heard about this diary from my son. He himself admitted this act to me. So there is no reason to think that my son is an incorrigible liar and deceiver.

The teacher told dad:

- Oh, that's how it is. You already know this. In this case, it is a misunderstanding. Sorry. Good night.

And I, lying in my bed, hearing these words, cried bitterly. And he promised himself to always tell the truth.

And this is indeed what I always do now.

Ah, sometimes it can be very difficult, but my heart is cheerful and calm.

M. Zoshchenko “Chlorophyll”

Only two subjects interest me - zoology and botany. The rest is not.

However, history is also interesting to me, but not from the book we are going through.

I am very upset that I am not a good student. But I don’t know what needs to be done to prevent this from happening.

Even in botany I got a C. And I know this subject very well. I read a lot of books and even made a herbarium - an album in which leaves, flowers and herbs were glued.

The botany teacher is telling something in class. Then he says:

- Why are the leaves green? Who knows?

There is silence in the class.

“I’ll give an A to the one who knows,” says the teacher.

I know why the leaves are green, but I am silent. I don't want to be an upstart. Let the first students answer. Besides, I don't need an A. That she will be the only one hanging around among my twos and threes? It's comical.

The teacher calls the first student. But he doesn't know.

Then I casually raise my hand.

“Oh, that’s how it is,” says the teacher, “you know.” Well, tell me.

“The leaves are green,” I say, “because they contain the coloring substance chlorophyll.”

Teacher says:

“Before I give you an A, I have to find out why you didn’t raise your hand right away.”

I'm silent. This is very difficult to answer.

- Maybe you didn’t remember right away? - asks the teacher.

- No, I remembered right away.

— Maybe you wanted to be taller than the first students?

I'm silent. Shaking his head reproachfully, the teacher gives an “A”.

L. Kaminsky “Starting a new life”

Yura lay on the sofa, looked at the ceiling and mentally scolded himself: “It’s high time to take up my homework, but I’m just lying there, and no matter what! Absolutely no willpower! So life will pass, and I won’t have time to do anything. No discoveries, no records... I remember reading somewhere that Mozart was already composing music at the age of three. And I? I can’t even write a letter to my grandmother! And there's a lot of trouble at school. Take the last month, for example. I overslept twice. In physical education - "couple": I forgot my sneakers at home. In literature - three: I couldn’t remember why Ivan Ivanovich quarreled with Ivan Nikiforovich... No, it won’t go any further! It's time to start a new life. Right from tomorrow. What do we have tomorrow? Friday? No, better from the new week! I skip two days and immediately - from Monday! And no favors for yourself!”

Yura resolutely jumped up from the sofa, tore out a sheet of paper from the notebook and began to write:

"ACTION PLAN No. 1

1. Start a new life (from Monday).

2. Get up at 6:15 every day.

3. Buy dumbbells and do exercises followed by dousing them with ice water.

4. Correct a bad mark in German and learn two more foreign languages.

5. Arrive at school 10 minutes before the teacher arrives.

6. Reply to grandma’s letter from last year.

7. Find out why Ivan Ivanovich quarreled with Ivan Nikiforovich.”

- Well, well, we'll live until Monday!

On Monday Yura was late for school. No, he didn't oversleep. On the contrary, I got up half an hour earlier to start a new life. According to plan. But it’s easy to say: “According to plan”! And where he?

It was not on the table, nor on the sofa. Yura looked for it under the bed, on the closet, turned the whole room over - no results: “Action Plan No. 1” seemed to have disappeared into the ground!

“Nothing,” Yura reassured himself, “difficulties only strengthen willpower!”

He decisively tore a piece of paper out of his notebook and wrote:

"ACTION PLAN No. 2

1. Find “Action Plan No. 1.”

2. Start a new life (from next Monday).”

L. Kaminsky “Essay”

Lena sat at the table and did her homework. It was getting dark, but from the snow that lay in drifts in the yard, it was still light in the room.

In front of Lena lay an open notebook, in which only two phrases were written:

How I help my mother.

“But it’s true,” Lena thought dreamily, “it would be good if summer didn’t end!.. Sunbathe yourself, swim, and no essays for you!”

She read the headline again: How I Help Mom. “How can I help? And when to help here, if they ask so much for the house!”

The light came on in the room: my mother entered.

- Sit, sit, I won’t bother you, I’ll just tidy up the room a little. “She began wiping the bookshelves with a rag.

Lena began to write:

“I help my mother with the housework. I clean the apartment, wipe the dust off the furniture with a rag.”

- Why did you throw your clothes all over the room? - Mom asked.

The question was, of course, rhetorical, because my mother did not expect an answer. She began putting things in the closet.

“I’m putting things in their places,” Lena wrote.

“By the way, your apron needs to be washed,” mom continued talking to herself.

“Washing clothes,” Lena wrote, then thought and added: “And ironing.”

“Mom, a button on my dress came off,” Lena reminded and wrote: “I sew buttons on if necessary.”

Mom sewed on a button, then went out to the kitchen and returned with a bucket and mop.

Pushing the chairs aside, she began to wipe the floor.

“Come on, raise your legs,” said mom, deftly wielding a rag.

- Mom, you're bothering me! - Lena grumbled and, without lowering her feet, wrote: “Washing the floors.”

There was something burning coming from the kitchen.

- Oh, I have potatoes on the stove! - Mom shouted and rushed to the kitchen.

“I’m peeling potatoes and cooking dinner,” Lena wrote.

- Lena, have dinner! - Mom called from the kitchen.

- Now! — Lena leaned back in her chair and stretched.

A bell rang in the hallway.

- Lena, this is for you! - Mom shouted.

She entered the room, ruddy from the frost.

Olya, Lena's classmate.

- I do not for a long time. Mom sent for bread, and I decided to go to you on the way.

Lena took a pen and wrote: “I’m going to the store for bread and other products.”

- Are you writing an essay? - Olya asked. - Let me see.

Olya looked at the notebook and burst into tears:

- Wow! Yes, this is not true! You made it all up!

- Who said you can’t compose? - Lena was offended. “That’s why it’s called so-chi-ne-nie!”

A. Raskin From the book “How Dad Was Little”

How dad learned to write

When dad was little, he learned to read very quickly. They only told him: this is “a”, this is “b”. And he learned all the letters. This was very interesting to him. He began to read books and look at pictures. But he didn't want to draw sticks at all. Little daddy didn't want to hold the pen correctly. It was wrong that he didn’t want to hold her either. He generally wanted to read, not write. It was interesting to read, but boring to write.

But little daddy’s parents told him this:

All day long, from morning to evening, these words rang in little dad’s ears. And every day he wrote sticks with disgust.

These sticks were terrible. They were crooked and hunchbacked. They were some kind of terrible cripples. Little dad himself was disgusted to look at them.

Yes, he couldn’t do the chopsticks. But the blots turned out just wonderful. No one has ever made such large and beautiful blots before. Everyone agreed with this. And if you learned to write from blots, little dad would write better than anyone in the world.

Not a single stick stood straight, and there were large, beautiful blots on every page.

Little daddy was shamed, scolded, and punished. He was forced to rewrite the lesson two and three times.

But the more he wrote, the worse the sticks were and the better the blots.

And he didn’t understand why they were torturing him. After all, he was learning letters. He was told that letters cannot be made without sticks. But he didn't believe it. And when he went to school, everyone was surprised at how well he reads and how poorly he writes. Worst of all in the class.

Many years passed, Little Daddy became an adult. He still likes to read and doesn't like to write. His handwriting is so bad and ugly that many people think he is just joking.

And dad is often ashamed and embarrassed.

Recently dad was asked at the post office:

- Are you illiterate? - Dad was offended.

- No, why not, I’m literate! - he said.

- What letter is this? - they asked him.

“This is the letter “u,” dad said quietly.

- "YU"? Who writes “yu” like that?

“I...” Dad said quietly.

And everyone laughed.

Oh, how now dad wants to write beautifully, cleanly, in good handwriting, without blots! How he wants to hold his pen and quill correctly! How he regrets that he wrote poorly with sticks! But now nothing can be done. It's my own fault.

How dad was late

When dad was little, he went to school like all children. But all the children came to the beginning of classes. And little daddy was always late. Sometimes he was even late for the second lesson. And this surprised the teacher very much. She said that there was never such a boy in their school. And the director said that, probably, there is no such student in other schools either.

- This boy is late like clockwork! - said the director. “And even his parents can’t do anything with him.” I called them twice.

And indeed, the parents could not do anything about the little dad. Every evening the same story happened.

- You have done your homework? - asked the grandmother.

“Now...” answered little dad.

“Now,” little dad answered, “I’ll just finish reading the page.”

Little daddy finished reading the page and started the next one. He simply could not give up an interesting book and sit down to boring lessons.

- Drop the book!

- Now...

- Drop the book!

- Now...

Finally, grandfather and grandmother's patience ran out. They snatched the book from little dad.

- You will grow up to be lazy! - they said.

Then little dad was very offended.

He cried for a long time and demanded his book back. He said that until the book was returned to him, he still would not sit down for his lessons.

So the evening passed unnoticed. When little dad finally sat down to do his homework, he quickly fell asleep. They woke him up. He fell asleep again. They woke him up again. He still fell asleep. They still woke him up. And he did his homework in a kind of half-asleep. So part of the night passed unnoticed. Finally, the tired grandfather and grandmother fell asleep themselves.

In the morning another story began.

- Get up! - said the grandmother.

“Now...” little dad muttered.

- Get up! - Grandfather shouted.

- Now...

- Get up!

- Now...

- You'll be late!

- Now...

- I'm already late...

- Now...

Everyone knows how difficult it is to get up early in the morning when you go to bed late at night. The sweetest dream is just at this time. Especially if you have to go to school.

While little dad slowly got up, slowly dressed, slowly washed, slowly drank tea and slowly collected his notebooks, a lot of time passed. And so he ran to school, looking in horror at all the clocks along the way.

When little dad ran into the classroom, gasping for breath, all the students died laughing. Even the teacher laughed.

- Oh, here is our late boy! - she said.

And it was very disappointing.

And in the school wall newspaper, little dad was pictured fast asleep in his bed. His parents were drawn next to him. They doused him with cold water from two buckets at once. A huge alarm clock was pulling little dad by the ear. And some boy with a trumpet blew right into his other ear. All this was called: “Bayushki-Bayu”. And this was also very offensive. But he was late again.

Doing his homework at the last minute, little daddy didn't do it very well. Being late for school, he missed the teachers' explanations, and this prevented him from studying well.

In addition, he was always in a hurry to get somewhere, was late, ran, and was worried. And this reflected poorly on his character. But he was still late.

I would love to tell how teachers and students laughed at little dad so offensively that one fine day he came to school before everyone else and since then has never been late.

But I don't want to tell a lie.

Little daddy was late everywhere his whole life. He was late for school. He was late for college. And he was late for work too. They laughed at him everywhere. He was being punished. He was scolded and shamed. And he lost a lot in life because of this unfortunate habit. He was late for the theater and watched the play without beginning. He was late for visits, and they were very offended at him and sometimes even asked him not to come again at all. He came on business and spoiled it by being late.

And how many times has he celebrated the New Year on an empty street, being late for a meeting with friends. How many people has he let down!

How many funny and offensive stories his friends like to tell about him... Until now, little dad cannot walk slowly down the street. He's always in a hurry. He's used to being late for things. And even at night he dreams that he is late for somewhere again. And he shudders and groans in his sleep. And sometimes he dreams that he has become small again. Runs to school again. And cheerfully looks at his watch. It is too early! He dreams that he is not late. Everyone congratulates him.

The school principal presents him with flowers. His portrait is hung in the school hall. The orchestra plays a tune. And then he always wakes up. And it seems to him that now he would not be late for school. But it only seems so to him.

V. Golyavkin “Yaandreev”

Everything happens because of the last name. I'm alphabetically first in the magazine; Almost immediately they call me. That's why I study worse than everyone else. Vovka Yakulov got all A's. With his last name it’s not difficult - he’s at the very end of the list. Wait for him to be called. And with my last name you will be lost. I began to think about what to do. I think at lunch, I think before going to bed, I just can’t think of anything. I even climbed into the closet to think so as not to be disturbed. It was in the closet that I came up with this. I come to class and tell the kids:

- Now I’m not Andreev. I am now Yaandreev.

- We have known for a long time that you are Andreev.

“No,” I say, “not Andreev, but Yaandreev, it starts with “I” - Yaandreev.”

- Can not understand anything. What kind of Yaandreev are you when you are just Andreev? There are no such names at all.

“For some,” I say, “it doesn’t happen, but for others it does.” Let me know this.

“It’s amazing,” says Vovka, “why you suddenly became Yaandreev!”

“You’ll see again,” I say.

I approach Alexandra Petrovna:

- You know, my thing is this: I have now become Yaandreev. Is it possible to change it in the journal? So that I begin with “I”.

- What kind of tricks? - says Alexandra Petrovna.

- These are not tricks at all. It's just very important to me. Then I will immediately be an excellent student.

- Oh, that's it! Then you can. Go, Yaandreev, lesson to answer.

V. Golyavkin “Twirl the snow”

The storm covers the sky with darkness,

Whirling snow whirlwinds... -

I yelled at the whole house.

I put the book aside and read with expression:

The storm covers with darkness,

Spin the snow twirls...

Something wrong. I started again:

Storm in darkness...

I suddenly forgot that the storm was covering. I started thinking and soon remembered. I was so happy that I started again:

A storm covers the sky and the sky becomes dark...

IS IT GLOWING? What it is? I felt uneasy. This, in my opinion, did not happen. I looked at the book. Well it is! There is no darkness!

The morning sky howls like a grave...

It wasn't like that at all. I understood this immediately. I always see when it's wrong. But what's the big deal here, after all? Why can't I remember?

“There’s no need to cram,” said the elder brother, “figure out what’s going on.”

I began to figure it out: it means that the storm covers the sky with its darkness and at the same time spins snow whirlwinds as hard as it can.

I closed the book and read clearly:

The storm covers the sky with darkness,

Whirling snow whirlwinds...

I wasn't wrong again.

V. Golyavkin “Carousel in the head”

By the end of the school year, I asked my father to buy me a two-wheeler, a battery-powered submachine gun, a battery-powered airplane, a flying helicopter, and a table hockey game.

- I really want to have these things! - I told my father. “They constantly spin around in my head like a carousel, and it makes my head so dizzy that it’s hard to stay on my feet.”

“Hold on,” said the father, “don’t fall and write all these things on a piece of paper for me so that I don’t forget.”

- But why write, they are already firmly in my head.

“Write,” said the father, “it doesn’t cost you anything.”

“In general, it’s worth nothing,” I said, “just an extra hassle.” - And I wrote in capital letters on the entire sheet:

VILISAPET

PISTAL GUN

VIRTALET

Then I thought about it and decided to write ice cream, went to the window, looked at the sign opposite and added:

ICE CREAM.

The father read it and said:

“I’ll buy you some ice cream for now, and we’ll wait for the rest.”

I thought he had no time now, and I asked:

- Until what time?

- Until better times.

HISTORY OF RUSSIAN GOVERMENT

in excerpts from school essays

(collected by Leonid Davidovich Kaminsky)

THIS HAPPENED AT SIX O'clock IN THE MORNING OF THE PAST CENTURY

Ancient people lived in huts, caves and dormitories.

In the process of evolution, the great ape begins to engage in social activities.

Archaeologists have found shards of ancient people in excavations.

Savages destroyed mammoths because there was no Red Book then.

Ancient people walked on four arms.

Ancient people ran after mammoths with spears and drove them into the abyss, and then someone climbed into it and pulled out the mammoth.

Ancient people built nests for themselves.

Ancient people were covered with stubble.

Ancient people were covered in moss.

Primitive people did not wear coats because it was hot then.

Primitive man's legs hung below the knees.

Primitive communal people lived in packs.

ANSWERS AT THE BOARD

What is archaeology?

The science of excavations by scientists.

Why did dinosaurs become extinct?

Because they weren't vaccinated!

How did people know about the existence of dinosaurs?

From the memories of contemporaries.

What difficulties did primitive people have?

They didn't have tractors or collective farms.

How did ancient people hunt mammoths?

They dug a deep hole, mammoths fell into it and broke their arms and legs.

What was the first animal domesticated by ancient man?

Mammoth.

How did primitive people escape the cold?

They were growing fur!

How did primitive people hunt?

They dug a hole, drove wild animals into it and threw tools at them...

Why did ancient people settle by the sea?

They loved to swim and sunbathe.

Why did ancient people live in tribes?

That was not boring!

What did ancient people do?

What did primitive people eat?

We ate everything we encountered on our way!

How can you find out what ancient people ate?

By cans!

How did primitive people differ from modern people?

The primitives walked the streets in herds, and the moderns walked in families.

What do you know about the monkey?

The monkey is the ancestor of man. She has two hands...

And four legs!

The Kyiv princes were very fragmented

The Pechenegs ate cookies...

Prince Oleg was predicted that he would die from a snake that would crawl out of his skull.

The besieged threw stones from the walls of the fortress and poured boiled water on the enemies.

Cossacks wore long mustaches, forelocks and bald heads.

The horse looked at the driver over his hind shoulder.

In front of him, sitting on a horse, stood a rider.

When Suvorov was little, he got up early, did exercises, washed himself and went to fight the Tatar-Mongols.

ANSWERS AT THE BOARD

What restrictions did the Novgorod prince have?

He shouldn't have married his mother. He also wanted to live in the center, but he was constantly pushed out of town.

What kind of shoes did the ancient Slavs wear?

Bast shoes and ancient sneakers.

What kind of tribute did the Kyiv prince collect from the ancient Slavs?

The Slavs gave him oil, pots and their skins, which they mined in the forest.

What kind of life did the Tatar-Mongols lead?

Bestial.

The chronicle is called that because it was usually written in the summer.

From over the horizon, Prince Igor saw the Tatar-Mongol yoke.

Courage, a sense of honor, and love for the Motherland collided in Prince Igor.

Of the entire army of Prince Igor, only fifteen Red Army soldiers remained.

The parents of Ilya Muromets were simple collective farmers.

Alyosha Popovich sat in a helmet with a pike in his hand.

Alyosha Popovich sits on a horse. It is dark brown.

Ilya Muromets played and danced well on the harp.

Ilya Muromets had a helmet on his head and boots with ancient laces on his feet.

Alyosha Popovich vigilantly looked at the back of Ilya Muromets’ head.

The hero was wearing chain mail and a helmet made of scrap metal.

Dobrynya Nikitich sat on his horse and peacefully nibbled grass.

Ilya Muromets sits on a horse with a large mane and bushy tail.

Ilya Muromets holds a spear with one hand, and looks forward with the other.

The heroes wore helmets, chain mail and mittens.

Suddenly the ground shook: it was Zmey Gorynych coming to land...

ANSWERS AT THE BOARD

Name a positive hero in a Russian fairy tale.

Chicken Ryaba. She laid a golden egg for Grandfather and Baba.

Tell us about the character of Baba Yaga.

Baba Yaga hid her kind soul in a mortar and broom.

Nevsky Prospekt is named after Alexander Nevsky, who lived on this avenue

As a child, Suvorov dreamed of becoming a Suvorov soldier.

Pugachev was kind. He didn't attack people.

Pugachev went to the scaffold and shouted: “Workers of all countries, unite!”

Peter the Great sits on a horse, raising his front legs high.

Emelyan Pugachev was sentenced to death through pardon.

Bogdan Khmelnitsky sent a telegram to the Russian Tsar.

Not only peasants, but also animals suffered from serfdom.

Russian nobles were easily vulnerable and therefore died in duels.

The noble nobility drowned itself in luxury.

The coachman, wrapped in a sheepskin coat, sat on the box, and the gentleman sat inside.

Previously, there was an Institute for Noble Girls in Smolny.

ANSWERS AT THE BOARD

The three horses were driven by a bearded box in a sheepskin coat.

How many of you, boys and girls, can say: “I am a reader! And that makes me proud!”?

Samuel Yakovlevich Marshak wrote: “Literature needs talented readers as well as talented writers”...

“How many books are read does not matter, but what matters for a very long time is daily, nightly reading, nightly - with a lighted lamp - out the window. And while the circle from the lamp on the round table turns off only at late dawn, everything is in order on the round and bright Earth , a planet populated by readers."

Boris Slutsky

Anna Gavalda “35 kilos of hope”

"This book tells about a 13-year-old boy who lived in France. He had a serious problem with school: he hated it, he was twice left in the second year. His parents often argued, if his mother helped with the lessons, she cried from hopelessness, and if dad tried to help with homework, the guy would cry. But the guy had a kind heart and he really loved doing some crafts. I recommend reading this book, it’s interesting."

Sergey V.

A. Usachev and M. Barnetev "Drummer or A Great Reward is Promised"

"I read about brother Yura and sister Nyura, who met Barabashka. Barabashka told them about a treasure that was hidden in their house, after which it disappeared. The children began to look for the treasure, but found nothing. They had a very harmful neighbor, who complained about them all the time and one day he complained to his parents about the knocking coming from their house. Mom asked: “Who was knocking?” The boy Yura replied that it was him and he was knocking with the ball, after which his mother threw the ball out the window... Yura and Nyura were upset... And then the fun began...

But I won’t continue the story, I want the guys in my class to read this funny story and I want to keep the intrigue!”

Masha

Leonid Kaminsky "Lessons in laughter"

“The book consists of humorous stories reminiscent of the plots of the TV magazine “Yeralash”. I liked the stories: “Starting a new life”, “Normal monument”, “Essay”, “The most incredible story”, “Sense of humor”. Each story can not only laugh, but also draw certain conclusions. For example, in the story “Starting a New Life" it all started with the fact that the lazy boy Yura, lying on the sofa, decided to start a new life on Monday. He decisively tore out a piece of paper from his notebook and wrote in capital letters: PLAN ACTION #1

1) Start a new life (from Monday).

2) Get up every day at 6:15 am.

3) Buy dumbbells and do exercises followed by dousing with ice water.

4) Correct 2 in German and learn two more foreign languages.

5) Arrive at school 10 minutes before the teacher arrives.

6) Reply to grandma’s letter from last year.

And what do you think, he went to bed, and when he woke up at 6 o’clock, he did not find his plan. Yura turned the whole house over and couldn’t find it. Then he wrote ACTION PLAN No. 2:

1) Find "ACTION PLAN No. 1."

2) Start a new life (from next Monday).

It seems to me that Yura never started a new life, because he kept putting it off until later. I liked this book because you can have a good laugh while reading it. I advise you to read it."

Lisa Baklushina

A. Nekrasov "The Adventures of Captain Vrungel"

"This is a very interesting adventure story about the sea captain Christopher Bonifatievich Vrungel and his crew. Lom (very strong, but not very smart) and Fuchs (a little unkempt, but kind) traveled with him. And here they are on their yacht "Trouble" ( at first it was “Victory”, but the first two letters disappeared as soon as the yacht set sail) set off in search of adventures around the world.On the trip they had to do different things: grow trees from pasta, survive by floating on a palm tree in the Pacific Ocean, meet their doubles , sail on your yacht upside down, travel with an iceberg and a walrus on it, fight a giant snake, play golf with boomerangs... In general, all their adventures can be listed for a long time, but I really want the guys to read it themselves and express their opinion about this book. I wish everyone a pleasant experience from this book!"

Sonya V.

"Tomek is looking for Bigfoot" Alfred Shklyarsky

"The fourth book is about the adventures of Tomek Wilmovsky and his friends in Asia. Summoned by a letter from Jan Smuga, Tomek, his father and the boatswain Nowicki sail to Bombay. From here they undertake an adventure full of adventure and danger across India to Tibet in search of gold and Bigfoot. Smuga's brother was exiled to Siberia. He managed to escape from exile. He paid for the freedom he gained with his life. Wanting to fulfill the last will of his deceased brother, Smuga and his friends headed to the distant Altyntach / Golden Mountains / to find the gold he had hidden. The friends made a long and exhaustinge journey, they risked their lives. However, the expedition ended..."

Sasha G.

How many of you, boys and girls, can say: “I am a reader! And that makes me proud!”?

Samuel Yakovlevich Marshak wrote: “Literature needs talented readers as well as talented writers”...

“How many books are read does not matter, but what matters for a very long time is daily, nightly reading, nightly - with a lighted lamp - out the window. And while the circle from the lamp on the round table turns off only at late dawn, everything is in order on the round and bright Earth , a planet populated by readers."

Boris Slutsky

Anna Gavalda “35 kilos of hope”

Sergey V.

A. Usachev and M. Barnetev "Drummer or A Great Reward is Promised"

But I won’t continue the story, I want the guys in my class to read this funny story and I want to keep the intrigue!”

Masha

Leonid Kaminsky "Lessons in laughter"

1) Start a new life (from Monday).

2) Get up every day at 6:15 am.

3) Buy dumbbells and do exercises followed by dousing with ice water.

4) Correct 2 in German and learn two more foreign languages.

5) Arrive at school 10 minutes before the teacher arrives.

6) Reply to grandma’s letter from last year.

And what do you think, he went to bed, and when he woke up at 6 o’clock, he did not find his plan. Yura turned the whole house over and couldn’t find it. Then he wrote ACTION PLAN No. 2:

1) Find "ACTION PLAN No. 1."

2) Start a new life (from next Monday).

It seems to me that Yura never started a new life, because he kept putting it off until later. I liked this book because you can have a good laugh while reading it. I advise you to read it."

Lisa Baklushina

A. Nekrasov "The Adventures of Captain Vrungel"

Sonya V.

"Tomek is looking for Bigfoot" Alfred Shklyarsky

Sasha G.