A brief retelling of the donky move. Funny story about Don Quixote - "Subtle Move!"

where it is told who was glorious cunning hidalgo Don Quixote of La Mancha and how he lived

In one village in La Mancha - and in which one, I won’t say - lived not so long ago a hidalgo, one of those that only have spears on a pole, an old-fashioned shield, a skinny horse and a greyhound runner ... He had a housekeeper in his house for forty years a niece who was not even twenty yet, and even a fellow servant about field and outdoor work - to saddle a horse, or to wield horticultural scissors. Lit our hidalgo got to the fifties, his physique was strong, thin from himself, thin from his face, he did not hoar the stars and was very fond of hunting ...

So, just so you know, the hidalgo of the walking time - that is, almost a whole year - read chivalric novels with such fervor and enthusiasm that he almost completely abandoned not only his hunting, but also any management. And so he fell in love with that business and stuck to it, that he sold more than one mortuary of arable land in order to buy knightly books for reading for himself ...

And so our hidalgo threw himself into reading that he read like day and night, from morning to evening, and from sunset to morning again ... His imagination overflowed with various chimeras subtracted from those books: charms and strife, battles and battles, challenges and wounds, sighs and love, parting and anguish and all that kind of stuff.

All those unthinkable inventions so killed him in tyamki that he considered them to be the truth ...

he went so crazy to the last, and a strange thought came into his head, which had never popped into the mind of a madman before: what falls to him, they say, and befits, for his own glory, and for his native land to live, to become a wandering knight, to roam the worlds equestrian and armed, seek adventures and do everything that they did, as he read, wandering knights, that is, fight all kinds of injustice, stumble upon various troubles and dangers, so that, having experienced them and overcome them, cover my name with immortal glory ...

Ahead of all, he cleaned out the great-great harness, which, God knows, was already chipped and started in the corner, lying around and taking it well with rust and lint. He cleaned it out, vilagodiving as best he could, and he sees that the gaps in the unions are great: there is enough fence, there is the most shishak. However, he cunningly managed to help that disaster: he cut out such a stuffing from cardboard, attached it to a cone - here's a helmet for you. True, as he got a sword to check that that helmet was strong, would withstand a blow if something happened, and struck once and twice, then in one fell swoop he destroyed everything that he had been fiddling with for a whole week. And that the ease with which the helmet turned into pieces was not to his liking, he decided to protect himself against such a case and remade it, setting several iron hoops inside. He was satisfied with that mitznota, although he did not want to test it anymore, and believed that he now had a good helmet.

Then he looked at his horse and, although he had it ... the very skin and bones, he admitted that neither Alexandrov Bucephalus, nor the sidov Babiek3 his horse was no match. For four days I thought about what to call it - because where can you see that the horse of such a glorious knight, still such a good himself, did not have any big name? So I tried to remove such a name for him that would clearly show what the horse was until he served the mandrake knight, and what he has become now - I thought, you see, that as the master’s condition changed, then the horse, in accordance, had to change the name to some something new, glorious and loud, worthy of a new title and a new calling of its master. He twisted his brains back and forth, sorted through hundreds of yemen, invented, added, extended and shortened, turned around - and finally called Rocinante, that is, Pereshkapa. This name seemed to him noble and euphonious, and, moreover, eloquent: if he were presented with nags, then his horse would turn into the most war horses in the world.

After naming his faithful horse so affectionately, our hidalgo began to think and wonder what name he could remove for himself, and that thinking took him not four days, but eight whole days. Finally, he complained about himself as Don Quixote ... However, remembering that the brave Amadis was not content with his naked name, but added the name of his native kingdom to it in order to glorify it, and was called Amadis of Gali, our stubborn knight also decided to add to his name the name of his homeland and to put on airs Don Quixote from La Mancha: yes, it would be reasonable for everyone where he came from and how he came from, so, he thought, he would glorify his motherland astonished.

Pidrichtuvshis wearing such a harness, having built a helmet properly, having removed the name of his horse and himself, our knight considered that now there was only one thing to do - to find a lady before dying, because a wandering knight without love is the same as a tree without leaves or body without soul...

Oh, how our good Cavalieri rejoiced when he finally found the one he was supposed to call his lady! That was, that was, a simple girl from a neighboring village, good for beauty, that he was in love with her for some time, although she, it seems, did not know about it and did not care. Her name was Aldonsa Lorenzo. It was she who seemed to him worthy to bear the title of mistress of his thoughts. Looking for a name that would be similar to her own, and befitting a princess or some kind of high knee, he named her Dulcinea of ​​Toboso (for she was from Toboso). This name seemed to him sonorous, vivacious and impressive, to match the one he had already applied to himself and his horse.

Section II,

which tells about the first departure of the inveterate Don Quixote from his possessions Quote:

Having soon become so good, our hidalgo did not want to lose for nothing and put off the implementation of his intentions indefinitely, because from that the world’s serious could be a pity: how much more evil needs to be destroyed in it, how much lawlessness to abolish, how much arbitrariness is screwed up, how many mistakes to correct, how many duties execute! Therefore, without saying a word to anyone about his plan, he once stood before the world (and it was in July, exactly how hot the days were) and so that no one could see, he took on full armor, sat on Rocinante, fitted on his head patched his helmet, put a shield on his hand, grabbed a spear and rode out the backyards into an open field, happy and cheerful, as they happily add up from the very beginning of his business. But as soon as he was in the field, a terrible thought came into his head - so terrible that he was ready to turn back around. He remembered that he had not yet been knighted, therefore, according to knightly laws, he has no right to fight with any knight, and as a white knight, he can only wear white weapons, without a motto on his shield, until he deserves it with his own. These considerations shook his intention, and fury prevailed over those doubts about who he would meet in his wanderings, because many others did the same - he read this in books that brought him to such a state. As for the white weapons, he put his armor in such a way to clean it at his leisure, so that they shone whiter behind the ermine itself. Having calmed down, he moved on, giving free rein to the horse to rule anywhere: in the same, he thought, was the whole strength of adventure ...

Almost all that day he rode Garmisch-Dar - nothing happened to him on the road worthy of mention, that even despair took him, because he was impatient to meet someone and immediately try the power of his right hand ...

in the evening both he and his horse were terribly tired and weak from hunger. Looking around to see if there was any castle or at least a shepherd’s hut, where he could crouch and be honored by great work, our knight saw a tavern not far from the road, and it seemed to him that he saw a star that would lead him, if not to paradise itself, then although to the gate of salvation. Naddavshi move, he got to her so dark.

Section III,

where it is told

in which Don Quixote ordained a knight in a funny way

... Don Quixote, having quickly finished his wretched Korchemny dinner, called out to the owner, went with him to the stable, and there he fell on his knees in front of him and said:

“Zatzny knight, I will not get up until your virtue does me one caress, having done it, yours and yourself with great glory Will indicate the future, and the human race was amazed to come in handy.

The innkeeper, seeing the guest at his feet and hearing such things from him, goggled his eyes from a great miracle and did not drive what to start, he tried to raise Don Quixote, but he only got up when the innkeeper promised to dismiss his will.

“I did not expect less from your, my lord, incomparable generosity,” said Don Quixote then, “for please, to which I ask you and which your genocide doomed to do, is that tomorrow yours will ordain me as a knight. This night, in the chapel of the manor's castle, I stand at arms, and in the morning, I say, may my cherished desire come true so that, at the behest of my duty, I can go around all four corners of the world in search of adventure and helping all the offended, that I should indulge in any knighthood, especially such , like me, knight-errant, inclined to perform such feats.

The innkeeper was a grated kalach, and he immediately thought that his guest was in his right mind, and now he was completely convinced of that. Wishing to play well that night, he decided to indulge all his whims, and therefore said Don Quixote, approves of his intention, quite inherent and characteristic of such famous knights, on whom he looks invigorating in his likeness. To this, he added that there was no chapel at the castle where one could serve the night watch, because the old one was destroyed, and the new one has not yet been put up; but he knows for certain that, if necessary, guarding with weapons is free in any place, therefore, let his guest stay that night at the castle didinci4, and be a true knight, and then such that you will not find a godfather all over the world.

Don Quixote began to prepare for the all-night watch of the circle of arms in the spacious yard, ticking into the tavern on that side. He collected all his rishtunok, made a circle of the well on the gutter, he himself, having got a shield on one hand, and taking spears in the other, stood in front of the gutter importantly and, as it were, haughtily pacing back and forth. As he stood guard, the night fell once again.

The innkeeper, meanwhile, told everyone who was in his tavern about the madness of his new roommates, about their watch over weapons and about the rite of ordination to the knight, which later took place. Everyone was very surprised by these himoros and went out to look at Don Quixote from afar, and he walked majestically back and forth, or suddenly stopped and, leaning on his spears, gazed intently at his armor. The night was already late, but the moon had blossomed so, as if it had taken all the rays in the sun, everyone could clearly see what the new knight was doing.

One coachman, who was standing in the tavern, came precisely to water his mules, and for this it was necessary to remove Don Quixote's weapon from the chute. As our knight saw that offender, he immediately screamed strong voice:

“Whoever you are, impudent knight, that you dare to touch the weapon of the glorious of all knights-errant who have ever used a sword, think what you are doing, do not touch her, you will pay with your head for your impudence!”

The rider did not consider these threats (and it would be better for him to weigh them than to weigh so recklessly with his health), grabbed the armor by the belts and threw her away. As Don Quixote saw that, he raised his eyes to the sky, and carried his thoughts, a visible thing, to the owner of his Dulcinea and said:

“Give me help, my lady, in this first hardship, let me avenge the neglect committed to my heart, which is dear to you forever and ever, do not forget me with your caress and your veil in this first necessity!

Having said such an oration6 and much more, he threw aside his shield, raised both hands of his spear, and so struck the driver with them in the head that he immediately sprawled out dead; one more such blow, then no doctor would have curbed him. And Don Quixote gathered up his armor and again began to pace himself gloriously, like the first.

what happened to our knight after leaving the tavern

It was at dawn that Don Quixote rode out of the tavern already a full-grown knight, and he was just as happy, and cheerful, and comforting, his heart played in him so much that Rocinante's girths cracked all the way. Yes, he was sleeping here, as a keepsake to the innkeeper, advice on supplies, something might be needed on the road, especially for money and for shirts, and he decided to go home for the good and at one move and connect himself with a squire; there was one peasant for him, his neighbor, a man rich in children, and poor in abundance, and quite fit for juruvannya. So he turned Rocinante to his village, and he, as if he had already heard his native stable, so sincerely jerked from his place, he barely touched the ground.

Drove so little, and hears - from right hand, from the thicket of the forest, something like groaning-cursing, quietly and plaintively. Soon heard, said:

“Praise the holy heaven for the kindness that you bestowed on me so quickly, so that I could fulfill my chivalrous duty and heal the fruits of my good intentions!” I DON'T hesitate that this is some untalented or, maybe, untalented woman moaning, demanding my help and burns.

He pulled the reins and drove Rocinante to where the wailing was heard from somewhere. As soon as he left for the zalisok, he looks, and there a mare is tied to one oak, and in the second - a guy of about fifteen, stripped to the waist. Therefore, he groaned, and there was something, because what a healthy uncle was standing here and that he had the strength to beat him with a whip, saying every time:

- And you will look at me! And you will scream at me!

A boy of swans

“Oh, I won’t do it anymore, uncle, by God, I won’t, and I’ll try so hard to keep the cattle that I won’t let my eyes out of my eyes even for a minute!”

Seeing what was happening here, Don Quixote shouted at his uncle in a menacing voice:

- an impolite knight, it is not good to scoff at a defenseless one like that! Get on your horse, take your spears - and I must say that before that oak tree where the horse stood on a leash, the shaft was leaning - I tell you that like you, they only show cowards!

Seeing such a figure, all clad in weapons, that shook a spear over his very face, my uncle turned completely dead and answered with a sip:

“Mr. knight, the guy that I punish her from my father, it’s my mercenary, I have sheep grazing in these tracts, and he’s the same, so that you know, he’s not looking: every day he must miss a sheep. And as soon as I start him for negligence or, perhaps, punishing fraud, he says that I am a miser and fine on his portage so as not to pay what he deserves. Lying, damn God, what a lie!

“How dare you, you hamlugo, say in front of me that he is lying! - Don Quixote shouted - I swear on the holy sun that shines above us, it will pierce you through and through with this spear! Pay him without any excuse, otherwise I swear by the living God, I'll put you on the spot as a corpse! Now tie him up!

The peasant looked down and silently untied his farmhand; then Don Quixote asked the guy how much the owner owed him. He replied that in nine months, seven lunar reais. Don Quixote calculated that together the guy would have sixty-three reals, and ordered the owner to immediately blurt out a big one when life was sweet to him. The frightened uncle said that his incapacity and he was not to blame so much, if only he would swear (but he didn’t dare to swear): you need to distinguish three pairs of shoes that the guy made, and even real for the fact that he bled twice with threw up his hands, as he was sick.

"Perhaps it is so," said Don Quixote, "but just now you hurt him innocently, then he already, it means, squatted both for shoes and for bloodletting." Let him tear the skin on those shoes that you made, so you tore the skin on him for him, let the barber threw him blood when he was sick, so you let him have an ear now, how he was completely healthy. So it turns out that nothing needs to be turned out for this.

“So sorry, mister knight, that I have no money with me,” my uncle complained, “let Andres go with me, and at home I will pay him everything, to the last penny.

“So I should go to him?” - The guy shouted. - Never! Let him hit! No, father, not for any money! If I go, then he will take the whole skin off me, as from St. Bartholomew!

“He won’t let me down,” Don Quixote objected, “since I ordered him, I must do my will.” Let him only swear by the chivalrous law to which he refers, then I will let him go with my soul, and he will surely pay you all you deserve.

“What are you talking about, sir!” - Said the guy. “My master does not belong to any knightly law. This is Juan Lantuh, a rich woman from the village of Quintanara.

“That’s nothing,” said Don Quixote, “and Coolies can be knights: a person is not famous by birth, but tacos.”

“So it is,” agreed Andrea, “and how does my master do it, that he seizes with my blood?”

“But he doesn’t get stuck, my dear Andresic,” answered his uncle, “only go, be kind, with me.” I swear on all the knightly laws that are in the world, that I will pay you to the last real, with a dear soul!

- It is possible without an expensive soul, leave it, - said Don Quixote, - it will be with me, as you give him the blame. Just look to me: if you don’t stand up in the word, then I swear by the same curse that I will return and punish you - even if you wriggle like a lizard, you can’t hide from me anywhere. How do you want to know who is telling you this, so that the more zealously you make a rozka, then know: I am the inveterate Don Quixote of La Mancha, the avenger of any lawlessness and arbitrariness. And now be healthy and remember, under the threat of a formidable execution, what you promised and on what you swore.

Having said this, he squeezed Rocinante with his spurs - and only a strip behind him lay down. The peasant followed him with his eyes and, as he had already disappeared behind the trees, returned to his farmhand Andres and said:

"Come here, my dear!" Now I will do the will of this avenger and pay you everything I owe.

“Really,” said Andrea, “well, uncle, do as you compare the will of this worthy knight, along with him, God, age without counting, that he is so brave and just. If you do not pay, you will see that he will return and punish you, on the Holy Rock.

“You say to God, and I say to God,” said the owner. “Yes, I love you so much that I want to blame you even more so that I can pay more later.

Here he tore the guy by the hand and, again tying him to an oak tree, gave such a stretch, the troubles of a little soul did not start.

“And now, he says, my magnificent Andresic, call that avenger of any injustice, let's see how he will avenge this one ... Yes, I still don’t know, this is the end of your insult, because I still want to take the whole skin off you, you’re in vain that's what he was afraid of.

But in the end, he untied the guy and gave him the will to look for that just judge - let him, they say, return and carry out the bequeathed sentence. Andrea left with a heavy heart, swearing to catch up with the inveterate Don Quixote of La Mancha and tell him everything cleanly; then the owner will have to pay seven. Meanwhile, poor fellow, he had to swallow his tears, and the owner made himself laugh.

But the stubborn, cunning hidalgo Don Quixote, who thus defended the offended, was very pleased that he had begun his chivalry so gloriously and happily. Glad and cheerful, he rode to his village and said in an undertone:

“Truly, you can be called the happiest of all the cobits7 living on earth, oh, above all the relatives of our relatives, Dulcinea of ​​Tobos!” Fate decreed that such a glorious and stubborn knight as Don Quixote of La Mancha became your faithful servant and executor of all your desires and commands, that, having received, as you know, only yesterday, he has already avenged today for the terrible insult and insult committed by arbitrariness and lawlessness, today he has already snatched the scourge from the hand of an unmerciful enemy, innocently torturing this lowly lad!

So he reached a crossroads, where four roads diverged differently, and suddenly those crossroads turned into his head, where wandering knights pestered and argued which way to take further. Therefore, he stopped himself on what wave, thought back and forth, and finally loosened the reins of Rocinante. The two were so sweet, Don Quixote saw a considerable community of people: they were, as it turned out later, merchants from Toledo, who were heading to Murom to buy silk there. How did they drive up so that it was already clearly visible and audible, Don Quixote, despite the trump card, hummed at the top of his voice:

Hearing such a thing and seeing the strange figure of the representative, the merchants stopped: both by their language and by their appearance, they realized that this was some kind of madman. But they wanted to know why he demanded such recognition from them. Here is a merchant, a witty and sharp-tongued man, who says:

“Mr. knight, we don’t know at all that respected lady you are talking about. Show it to us, and if it really is as good as you say, then we, without any coercion, of our free will, recognize what you demand of us.

“If I showed it to you,” Don Quixote objected, “it would be little merit on your part to testify to the obvious truth. All power is that you, without seeing, believe, consider, confirm, swear to protect him. How can you not do this, stand in RA with me, you neotes and empty dancers!

“Mr. knight,” the merchant will answer again, “in the name of all the powers that be present here, I beg your virtue not to burden our conscience with the recognition of such things that we have never seen or heard. Finally, I think that we already agree with you even now; Even if we could see from that portrait that your lady is crooked in one eye, and the brine is flowing in her other, then even then, in order to please you, we are ready to recognize any high signs for her.

“Nothing like that flows with her, vile rogue!” ' shouted Don Quixote, seething with anger. - Her white, like swan down, face sharpens amber and musk from itself, and she is not at all crooked and not humpbacked, but slender, like a spindle in the mountains of Guadarrama; you will pay for such a terrible blasphemy against divine beauty my lady!

Having said this, he weighed his spear and rushed at the phrase-monger with such frenzied fury that if Rocinante had not accidentally stumbled and fallen in the middle of the road, a reckless merchant of disaster would have run up. And so the horse fell, and the rider rolled far along the ground. The poor fellow floundered with all his might to get up, and everyone, you know, shouted:

"Don't run away, worthless cowards!" Stop, vile bastards! I fell through no fault of my own, but through my horse!

Here one driver, not very well-intentioned, it seems, heard how the knight reprimanded their extended fate, could not resist and decided to count his ribs instead of answering.

He ran up to him, grabbed a spear, broke it into chocks and began to patch up armor on the poor fellow until he threshed him for Okolot.

At the end the drover got tired, and the merchants moved on. And he, left alone, continuing to try, will not get up; and how he was already whole and healthy unable to get up, now even more so, when he was all beaten and pounded. And yet he felt happy: after all, this, he thought, was the usual hardships of a mandrake knight, and he had to have a horse in everything. However, he did not get up from below, because his whole body ached with pain.

Section VII

About the second departure of our good knight Don Quixote of La Mancha

A whole two weeks ago, our hidalgo sat quietly at home - there was not even a sign that he was going to drive those himorods again. All those days he had extremely encouraging conversations with his two friends, the steamboat9 and the barber; told them that the world now needed knights-errant most of all, and that it was in his person that knight-errants would be reborn and renewed. The abbot sometimes argued with him, and the other agreed, knowing that otherwise there would be no collusion with him.

At the same time, Don Quixote continued negotiations with one peasant, his close neighbor: he was a kind man, at least he had good things, poor fellow, not a group, but, as they say, without oil in his head. So he had already spoken to him, so surprisingly, he promised him such a thing that the poor peasant finally agreed to become his squire and go on wanderings with him. Don Quixote advised him, among other things, not to take too long, because it is very possible that they will be able to conquer some island in one fell swoop, then he immediately put him on the governor. Relying on these promises, Sancho Panza (that was the name of that peasant) left his wife and children and joined his jur neighbor.

Then Don Quixote began to take care of the money: he sold a few, made a few (and yet it was for a pittance) and brought down a rather large sum. In addition, he borrowed a round shield from a friend and, having somehow repaired his battered helmet, announced his squire Sancho, which day and which hour they had to set off on their way, so that he could think over the most needed supplies and not forget to take a knapsack hastily . Sancho assured that he would not forget, and also said that he was not very used to walking on foot, that he was thinking of taking a donkey, but he had a good donkey. Concerning the donkey, Don Quixote had some doubts: he began to remember if there were any Jura-osloizda wandering knights, but he could not remember and finally allowed his squire to take the donkey, hoping that he would soon be able to give him under the upper hand of the noble Stupak, repelling horse into the first impolite knight that gets in their way. Remembering the innkeeper's advice, Don Quixote also stocked shirts and something else. Having prepared and nailed everything properly, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza left the village one night, so that no one saw, did not even say goodbye to their own - this one with his wife and children, and the other with his niece and housekeeper. They traveled a lot during the night, and ended up far from the village: even if they rush there now, they will not be found.

Sancho Panza rode his donkey like a patriarch; he did not forget to take a bag, and Burdyug into wine. He was impatient to quickly become the governor of the island that the master had promised. And this time Don Quixote got married in the same way as the first, that is, on the Montiel plain, only now he was going faster, because the time was still early and the rays of the sun did not bother him very much. So leaving, Sancho Panza said to his master:

“Look, mister knights-errant, do not forget that island, by your grace, I was promised. Let it be at least some big one, and I'll blame them, you'll see.

Don Quixote answered him:

“You must know, my friend Sancho Panza, that in ancient times knights-errant used to instruct their jur as governors and governors of those islands or kingdoms that they conquered, and I firmly resolved to observe that laudable custom. Perhaps I will give you even more than I promised.

“So it turns out,” said Sancho Panza, “when by some miracle I would become, as you say, a king, then Juana Gutierrez, my old one, will already be a cornflower, and my children will be queens?”

- And who can doubt it? Don Quixote replied.

"Yes, even if I did," said Sancho Panza. - Even if the Lord God from the sky sowed royal crowns with rain, then even then not a single one, perhaps, would fall on the head of Maria Gutierrez. No, sir, a nivyanik will not come out of her, except from the strength of a countess, and even then it’s not bad.

“Trust in God, Sancho,” Don Quixote consoled him, “he will send her what is due, but don’t be ashamed yourself either: you’ll be governor, and don’t even think about lowering it.”

"I don't think so, sir," replied Sancho Panza. “You are my important master, then give me something so good that it is both to my taste and to my strength.”

Section VIII

About the great victory

obtained by the wise Don Quixote

in a terrible and unrepresented battle with windmills,

and about other immemorial events

Here thirty or forty wind-mills lured before them, standing in the middle of the field; when Don Quixote saw them, he said to the squire:

- Fortune favors our measurements beyond any expectation. Look, my friend Sancho, what looms ahead: thirty, if not more, ugly giants, that I decided to fight with them and kill them all at the foot. The trophies that we will get will invest the beginning of our wealth. And such a war is just, therefore, to sweep away the evil seed from the face of the earth is a saving work and a soap to God.

But where are those giants? Sancho Panza asked.

“Over there, don’t you see? Don Quixote replied. “Look how long their arms are; some will be perhaps two miles long.

“What are you saying, sir?” Sancho retorted. - So it’s not giants at all, then windmills, and not hands in them, but wings: they spin from the wind and the millstones of the mill gates.

“It is immediately obvious that you are still unconscious of chivalrous adventures,” said Don Quixote, “for you are giants after all. As you are afraid, it is better to stand on the side and pray, and in the meantime I will fight with them in a fierce and unequal battle.

At the seventh word, he squeezed the horse with spurs, not listening to the cries of the squire, who kept warning him not to rush to fight, because these are not giants, but windmills. And our knight was so stuck in the head of those giants that he did not take into account Sanchov's calls and did not look closely at the windmills, although he was already far from them, and flew forward and shouted in a strong voice:

"Don't run away, cowards, stay, vile creatures!" After all, only one knight attacks you!

Here a light breeze is kicking away, and the hefty wings of the windmills began to rotate; when Don Quixote saw it, he shouted:

- Maha, wave your hands! May you have more of them than the giant Briareus11, and then you will not escape execution!

Having said this, entrusting his soul to the possessor of Dulcinea, asking her to help him in such a hardship, he shielded him well with a shield and, letting Rocinante gallop, blocking the spears of the extreme windmills in the wing. Here the wind tore the wing so sharply that the spear instantly shattered, and the wing lifted the horse and rider, and then threw them to the ground with acceleration. Sancho Panza ran as far as he could to save his own; approaching, he saw that he could not even move - he had roared so hard with Rocinante.

- Oh, my God, my God! Sancho lamented. “I didn’t tell you, sir, to beware, because those are windmills, it’s visible to everyone, unless that’s why the wind drives anyone in the head.

“Be quiet, friend Sancho,” Don Quixote replied, “the happiness of battle lives on as you pass.” I now think, and so it is, that the wise Freston12 deliberately turned those giants into windmills in order not to give me the glory of victory, because he is very angry with me. But in the end my valiant sword will break those hostile spells.

"God willing," said Sancho Panza.

He helped Don Quixote to get up and put him on Rocinante, who was also barely alive and warm. Arguing this way and that about the recent adventure, they moved on to the Lyapiskoy Pass, where, Don Quixote said, at those draws, undoubtedly, numerous and diverse events await them. Only one thing confused our knight: that he did not have a spear; having told about that grief to his jura, he said:

- Once I read that one knight named Diet Perez de Vargas, having broken his sword in battle, wasting a hefty branch from an oak, and that day performed so many feats of Moorish reforging that he was given the surname of a bitch, and his descendants are still spelled Vargas -and-branch. I am leading the matter to the fact that I myself think that they have been knocked down with clubs from the first oak or holly that we see along the way. And that oak tree will be no worse than it was in Vargas, and I will accomplish such feats with it that you can consider yourself lucky: rarely does anyone have to be a witness and eyewitness of almost unbelievable events.

“So everything is in God’s hands,” Sancho said to him, “I believe everything that your grace tells me. Just sit more evenly, otherwise you somehow perked up in the saddle - perhaps you were well huddled when you fell.

“Your truth,” said Don Quixote, “but, as you can see, I don’t swear that it hurts me too, because it’s not proper for knights-errant to complain about wounds, even if giblets have crawled out of them.

“If so, then so be it,” answered Sancho, “but I would be glad that God forbid if you, father, complained to me about how you need to be sick. And when something hurts me, at least a little bit, then I moan like that, well! Or, perhaps, the juram of wandering knights are not free to blame the pain?

Don Quixote laughed at the simplicity of the squire and said that he could moan and complain to himself as much as he likes, there is something, no, because nothing is written in the knightly laws about that ... They spent the night on what edge ...

Section XXII

How Don Quixote freed many homeless people who were forcibly led where they did not want to go

Don Quixote and Sancho Panza met the royal guards who accompanied the convicts convicted by the royal court for robbery and murder, to the galleys, where they had to serve their sentence.

But Don Quixote, guided by the knightly charter, which requires helping everyone against whom any violence is committed, decides to help the poor fellows chained in chains. He demands explanations from the guards about the reasons for condemning the men, but they do not want to waste time on this. The convicts themselves tell Don Quixote about their crimes, but in such a way as to touch him. At the end, the fair hidalgo orders the guards to release the convicts.

“From everything that I have heard here, my dear brothers, I can conclude that even though you were convicted for your crimes and the punishment that was assigned to you, you did not like it very much and you are going to serve it without any desire, moreover, against your will. And some of you, perhaps, didn’t really get into this story: one suffered no more torment, the second did not have enough money, the third defender, the fourth got not a judge, but a crooked judge. Such thoughts besieged my head, they induce, compel and brazenly fulfill over you the mission that for her heaven sent me into this world and for which I joined the knightly order to which I belong, and denounced to protect the offended and defend the weak from oppression of powerful and princes. Knowing, however, that prudence tells us to act good where evil can be avoided, I want to ask these guards and your commissar himself, so that they will kindly decide you and let you go with God, but the king, I think, there will be enough decent servants even without them , for, in my opinion, it is too cruel and unjust to return to slavery those whom God and nature have created freely. All the more so, gentlemen of the guards, - this was already our knight addressing the convoy, - that these idlers could not do anything bad to you personally. Let everyone move their sin: God sees everything from heaven and will not be slow to punish the sinner or reward the righteous. Honest people do not like to be the executioners of their neighbors, especially when they are not chafing here. I ask you to do this kindly and kindly, I will only thank you, but if you don’t do it voluntarily, then this sword and spear, this powerful rameno13 will force you to do it by force.

- That's the thing! exclaimed the commissioner. - Look where the mouse tail is twisted! So that we, then, let the royal prisoners go free, as if we were given the right to unchain them, or do you have full authority to such orders? go, master of your ways, and straighten that general on your head, because we need your jokes like a dog's fifth leg!

“You yourself are a dog and a mouse tail, and besides, a scoundrel,” shouted Don Quixote furiously.

And at that very moment, before the commissar could prepare for the defense, he stunned him with a spear and knocked him off his horse to the ground; our knight was very lucky, because throughout the entire convoy only this one who was overthrown had a gun. The rest of the vartoviki both stood and were stunned at such a surprise, but soon came to their senses; the cavalry grabbed their swords, and the footmen grabbed the sulits and hit the group on Don Quixote, who was waiting for them in unbreakable peace. It would have been difficult for our hidalgo if the convicts had not taken it into their heads to take advantage of this pagoda in order to go free, and did not begin to break the chains on which they were led. Here such a commotion swirled that fear: the guards either rushed to the prisoners, that they had already begun to tear the shackles, then it appeared from Don Quixote that he insisted on them, and neither there nor here they could cope. And Sancho also intervened in that pile, helped Hines where Pasamonte got out of the iron. Breaking free first, Hynes ran up to the lying commissar, snatched the sword and musket from his hands, and let him point from one guard, then at the other, but he never fired a shot, because all the guards fled - and the musket was frightened, and stones, freed convicts fell on her. As Sancho saw that, he thought sadly, because he thought that the guardsmen would probably inform Saint Hermandad about everything, and they would sound the alarm and round up the criminals. He told his master about these fears and advised him to immediately run away from there and hide somewhere in the nearby mountains.

"All right, all right," Don Quixote answered him. Don't teach me, I know what to do myself.

Then, calling to the convicts, who in the meantime had stripped the commissar to the skin with great noise and shouting, they surrounded the knight, interested to hear what he would say.

“Decent people,” said Don Quixote, “always express gratitude for the good deeds they have experienced; again, one of the sins that God most hates is ingratitude. This is what I am saying, gentlemen, that you yourself are healthy, you see, which I have just done a service; in return, I want and demand only one thing from you - that you, taking on the chains from which I made you shabby, move from here to the glorious city of Toboso, appear before the eyes of Signora Dulcinea of ​​Toboso and realize to her that the Knight of the Sad Image is sending you to her and told everything purely about this famous incident in which you odziskaly desired freedom. When you do this, go to your health wherever you know.

Hines where Pasamonte answered for everyone with these words:

“What you demand of us, our sir and liberator, is a completely unthinkable and impossible thing. By no means can we all go along the path together, we must save ourselves one by one, one by one, even crawling underground, so that Saint Germandada, who, no doubt, is chasing after us, does not greet us. What your grace can do (and it would be quite fair) is not to send us a bow and a salutation15 to the lord Dulcinea of ​​Toboso, but to instead inflict so many and so many Father or Mother of God instead of each, we would willingly pronounce them for the health of your grace, because what they are, that somewhere, although and when, although it is possible to cheat - day and night, at the VTEK and at rest, under war and peacetime. But to demand from us that we return to the Egyptian pots again, that is, take on the chains and go to Toboso - it's like asking for baked ice or assuring us that it's already night in the yard, when it's only ten in the morning.

— That's how! - Throwing myself into the passion of Don Quixote. - Well, then, son of a bitch Hinesik-Potyagusik, or whatever you like, you yourself will go there with a chain behind your shoulders, tail between your legs, let me do this and that!

Pasamonte was never very patient; seeing now that Don Quixote, poking his head out of his mind, would be inherent, then whose would he not set them free), and hearing what words he scolded him, winked at his comrades and walked away with them a little distance. As they started on Don Quixote with schwirgata stones, the hands of the poor knight could not be covered with a shield from this hail, and poor Rocinante did not even take into account the spurs, he stood still, as if from cast bronze. Sancho healed his donkey in order to find that terrible Shurya-storm, that chimney hail cloud that slept on both of them. And Don Quixote, as if no longer shielding himself, as if not shielding himself, and a few stones improved him great that he fell from his horse to the ground. They took off the drabugs from the knight and the coat that he wore over the armor, and the pants would have been pulled off if the knee pads had not interfered. And from the jura they took the cloak and took everything clean from him that they could. Having soldered that loop among themselves, they dispersed without a hitch in all directions - they didn’t care about how, having taken the chains, to bow to Senora Dulcinea of ​​Toboso, they only thought how to escape from the terrible Germandada.

Only Don Quixote with Sancho and Rosinante with the donkey were left on the battlefield. The donkey stood with his head bowed thoughtfully, only moving his ears from time to time - he still had no noise from this stone hail; Rosinante lay stretched out next to his master, who, too, had been beaten from his feet by a stone; Sancho trembled, naked golem, so that their Festivities of Hermandad would not be here, and Don Quixote lamented that the people to whom he had done so much good had brought him such disasters.

Section LI

About Don Quixote's fight with the goatherd

and about the unusual incident with the redeemer,

which our knight proved by the sweat of his brow

to the bitter end

... In that year, as someone tied the clouds, they did not want to sprinkle the land, and in all the surrounding villages people went from the cross, ruled prayers and provided penance, begging the Lord to open the hands of his goodness and send them life-giving moisture. And now the people from the nearby village were going on a pilgrimage to the skete16 of the pious, which stood on the burnt across the valley. Seeing the strange robes - for the swindler herself, Don Quixote did not even remember that he had met such people more than once, but imagined that this was again what an incident was happening - and who, if not a mandramatic knight, was fit to throw himself into it. As soon as I noticed the figure under the black veil that those people were carrying, I became even more convinced of your thoughts, because I thought that this was some famous lord, whom these loafers and robbers of the business grabbed with a cry. Soon this thought rushed into his head, he jumped quickly to Rocinante, who was grazing right there nearby, took off his shield and bridle from his saddle, bridle it and, asking the jura for a sword, sat on horseback, stocking shields on his hand and said to all those assembled in a loud voice:

“Now, my honest society, you all understand how important it is that there are people in the world who have dedicated themselves to chivalrous chivalry. Now, I say, having witnessed the release of this captive lady, you understand what respect and honor the wandering knights deserve.

At the seventh word, he squeezed the horse with his heels (because he didn’t have a prison) and at a full gallop, because throughout this true story Rocinante didn’t run otherwise - I say, at full gallop he rushed to pokutnikiv, as the canon18, the rector and the barber held him back. It was a pity for their language, it was a pity and Sanchova calls:

"Where are you going, Mr. Don Quixote?" What is it devilry incited you against our Catholic faith? And look, it’s better, let me do this and that, when it’s not the redeemer who goes on a pilgrimage, but on a stretcher they carry the Image of Our Most Immaculate Holy Virgin. Consider, sir, what you are doing - you really do not know what you are doing!

But Sancho was torn in vain, Don Quixote did not hear him at all, captured by the thought to quickly get to the robes and free that lady wrapped in black; and even though he had heard, he still would not have stopped, he would not have listened to the king himself. Now, approaching the procession, he stopped Rocinante, who himself was already waiting for a respite, and shouted in a voice hoarse with indignation:

- Hey, you, which is not good, perhaps, wrapped up your face, stand and listen to what you have to say!

Those carrying the figure stopped first, and one of the four clerks who sang the litany20, seeing the miraculous figure of Don Quixote, Rocinante's thinness and all the ridiculousness of this appearance, answered as follows:

“Mr. brother, when you really have something to say, speak quickly, because these brothers are tearing the body apart on themselves, and it’s not good for us to stop and listen to any language, except for a short thing, two words.

“Yes, if you like, I’ll say it in one word,” said Don Quixote. “Now immediately set free this beautiful señora, since her tears and her sad look clearly and clearly testify that you are carrying her with a cry and what a great lie you have caused her, and I, who came into this world to fight any offense, will not allow and will not I will allow you to take a step further until you attract the desired and well-deserved freedom to her.

Hearing these things by Don Quixote, everyone who listened to him decided that he must be some kind of madman, and began to laugh terribly, but that laughter added even more fire to the knight's anger. Without another word, Don Quixote drew his sword and rushed to the carrying case. Then one of the carriers, putting in a spare in his place, grabbed a stick or a sishka, on which to prop up the stretcher in respite, went out to meet the offenders. Don Quixote, so creasing with his sword, in one fell swoop removed two-thirds of that stick, but with the stump that remained in his hands, the bearer lululused the knight on the shoulder, whom the shield could not protect from brute muzhik force, and poor Don Quixote roared from his horse, like non-luxurious.

Sancho Panza, who ran behind him with all his strength, shouted at the offender not to beat even the one who was lying down, for, they say, they are wanderers and, moreover, a knight is fascinated, who, for as long as he lives, has never offended a fly. The clapping stopped, not because Sancho was noisy, but because Don Quixote was lying and not moving, thinking that he had killed him, the bearer piddling the skirts of his mantle and rushed to his heels, like that swift-footed saiga.

Here the whole Don Quixote society has already come running; seeing the redeemer that the guards with muskets were coming at them, they were afraid that there would be no trouble, and they all huddled together, surrounded by figures; threw back their hoods, grabbed whips, and the clerk their lamps and prepared for defense, and, God willing, maybe for an attack. But fate took such a turn that everything changed. Sancho, thinking that the master had been killed, fell down beside him and began to lament, very plaintively and very amusingly. And at this time the second priest recognized the priest that he was walking with the procession, and the mutual fear of both detachments was immediately somehow dispelled. Our rector briefly told the tam-toms who Don Quixote was, and both of them, with a whole herd of swindlers, went to see if the poor knight had been killed or was still alive. And Sancho wept so over him, so turned on:

“About the quit of chivalry!” Thou fell with a cue and ended thy days, with such a large possession did she carry out! O praise of your kind, honor and glory of the whole La Mancha and the whole world! As soon as you are gone, the wicked wicked will take possession of the whole earth, not being afraid of any punishment for their wickedness! O my good lord, most generous of all Alexanders - in eight months, juruvannya gave me the best island that the sea has ever washed and washed! Oh, humble against the pompous and arrogant against the humble, the sky of dangers and the patience of abuses, in love without a reason, companion of the good, champion of the evil, opponent of the vile, in a word, oh, wandering knight - everything has already been said, what is given to be said!

That Sanchi express and cry reviving Don Quixote; The first word of the knight is how he responded:

“Whoever lives far from you, sweet Dulcinea, will know torment even more severe! Help me, friend Sancho, to get off on the enchanted cart, because I will NOT sit on the saddle in Rocinante, so my muscle was broken.

"With pleasure, my dear lord," said Sancho. - Let's return as soon as possible to the village together with these gentlemen, that they really want to do good to you, and there we are already shouting for a new campaign, from which we will have more glory and consumption.

“You speak well,” said Don Quixote, “it really suits us to wait until the pernicious influence of the luminaries has passed, now they rule.

In a word, everyone said goodbye and parted in all directions. Only the abbot with the barber remained, Don Quixote with Sancho, and the humble Rocinante, who, like my master, patiently endured all hardships.

Pidvidchik harnessed the oxen, don Quixote put hay on top, and drove slowly, as was his wont, along the path that the abbot had shown him. Somewhere on the sixth day they reached the Don Quixote village, at the very lunchtime they drove there. It was Sunday, and the square through which Don Quixote was passing was full of people. Everyone rushed to see who was coming, and, as they recognized their countryman, they were very surprised. One guy ran to tell the housekeeper and niece that their master and uncle were being taken there on oxen, and he was lying like that and yellow right on the hay. God, how the respectful white heads began to wail, and woe to hear! They wept, beat their breasts and cursed those vile chivalric romances, and all that flared up with renewed vigor when Don Quixote crossed his native threshold.

Hearing that Don Quixote had returned, Sanchikha also came running, she already knew that her husband went with the master for a page, and as soon as she saw him, the first word she asked was that the donkey was healthy. To this Sancho said that the donkey is better to have than its owner.

Praise be to you, Lord, for your great mercy! - The woman exclaimed, - and now tell me, little chick, did you play a lot there? Have you brought me at least a new plate? Or bought shoes for the kids?

“I didn’t buy this,” answered Sancho, “but, woman, I brought it better and more expensive.”

— Oh, how glad I am! - The woman scoffed. “Show your father better and dearer soon, my wife, let me at least cheer up my heart, otherwise it is completely yearned that you hesitated where for so long.

“I’ll show you at home,” Sancho answered, while they’ll sap, woman, and with that, but for the second time we’ll set off on incidents and God will agree with us, then you’ll see for yourself: I’ll go out to grappa or to the governor, they will give me an island, and that’s not a drantiviy anything but the best.

“If God would give, little boy, we would need such a thing! Just tell me, please, what kind of island is this, I don't understand it.

"Don't lick honey with a donkey's tongue," said Sancho. — Convenient time you will understand, wife, everything, you yourself will be surprised how the vassals of the noble will call you.

“What are you talking about, Sancho, who are the nobles there, who are the islands, vassals? - Exclaimed Juana Panza (that was the name of Sanchov's wife: she was not from the same family, and in La Mancha the custom is such that women change to their husband's surname).

- Ba who is fast, wants to know everything at once! Don't get caught, Juano, it's enough that I tell you the truth, but for now, keep your mouth shut.

Sancho Panza had such conversations with his woman, Juana, while Don Quixote's housekeeper and niece interceded at his side, undressed him, and put his old-fashioned clothes into his bed. He looked at them with a zizom and could not understand where he was and what was happening to him. The rector ordered his niece to take good care of her uncle, and more to make sure that he did not run away again, he told the women with what a difficult misfortune they brought him home. Here they both screamed again, again began to curse chivalric romances and pray to God to send all fiery hacks to Gehenna, that such senseless lies are. The abbot left, and they sat for a long time, alarmed and embarrassed, thinking that soon their master and uncle would depart a little, and immediately run away from them again. And so it happened, as they thought.

A mortuary is a measure of land equal to 0.56 ha.

Zupovny - whole.

Bucephalus, Babyeka - the names of the horses of Alexander the Great and Sid Campeodor, sung in the Song of My Sid.

Didynets - yard, yard.

Golduvates - to give tribute, to be in feudal dependence. In a figurative sense - to be a faithful, devoted servant.

Orazio is a solemn speech.

Kobita is a woman.

Boyun are cowards.

Rector - parish priest, priest.

Commonwealth - together, together, together with someone.

Briares - in ancient Greek mythology, a hundred-armed giant who, along with other titans, rebelled against the gods.

Freston is a character in the novel Don Bellanis the Greek.

Branches - shoulder. In a figurative sense - an armed hand.

The feasts of Hermandad are the holy brotherhood, the police of the Inquisition.

Go to the ralets - go with a greeting and a gift.

A skete is a small dwelling of hermit monks, located at a distance from the main monastic buildings.

Bezetsny - shameless.

A canon is a Catholic priest.

Clerk - a junior member of the church clergy (sexton, psalmist).

Litany is a solemn church service, as well as a long pleading prayer among Catholics.

Translation by N. Lukash

One young man on some forum had the imprudence to ask a question. And this is what came of it ... I quote, as they say, without cuts.

"Provide humanitarian assistance plz! We were asked to read "Donkey Hot" and "Robinson Crusoe" at school. Reading books is hard, difficult, boring and tedious, I personally did not master it. Be so kind as to retell the summary please!!!
Or post a link!! "

And the answers that rained down on this request:

7_turtles
2005-12-16 08:53 am UTC (link)
Retelling Donkey Hot. In principle, half of the content is already described in the title: "donkey" in English is "donkey", but "hot" is "hot". Those. This is a book about a hot donkey, by the English writer Sir Vantes. This donkey had an owner who rode it, his name was Sancho Panza. But he is not the main character of the novel.

The main character is a hot ass. Hot in the sense of sex, of course. A little more. A young Greek named Lucius, traveling through Thessaly, meets a powerful sorceress. The hero spies on the transformations of the sorceress and tries to turn into a bird himself. But a mistake occurs: Lukiy becomes a donkey, while retaining a human mind.

In the form of a donkey, the hero has the opportunity to observe the most intimate scenes of human life. The charlatan priests are shown in an acutely satirical form. "Family relations" are described in comically everyday tones: an angry mother-in-law - the goddess Venus, good-natured grandfather Jupiter, young Cupid and his wife - a simple mortal beauty Psyche. Intrigue, intrigue, envy - nothing is alien to the gods of Olympus. Something like that.

Levkonoe
2005-12-16 09:40 am UTC (link)
First you need to master "So far", author D.K.Miron. Then it will be clearer. And then immediately without preparation ... you never know what. Just not to be confused with " Quiet Don", that don was completely violent, which Sir Vantuz has.

Levkonoe
2005-12-16 09:42 am UTC (link)
And about Robinson, too, you can not bother. Lem has a good article "Robinson's Sexual Life", in the collection "Library of the 21st century". Everything there is short and lively like that, otherwise Crusoe has all some kind of goats, parrots, you are tormented to read.

7_turtles
2005-12-16 10:12 am UTC (link)
Okay dude, I'm sorry. You see, the reason for the jokes was that you spelled the title of the novel incorrectly. After all, it is not called "Donkey Hot", but "Subtle Move". And, seriously, it is about the French Foreign Minister, whose name was La Manche, and who, during the negotiations with Greece, made one very subtle move. Based on these events, the novel "Slim Move" (La Mancha) was written.

Handi
2005-12-16 11:43 am UTC (link)
Well, folks. The man's head was completely powdered. Human! Donkeys are such fishing rods. For bottom fishing. So, the novel "hot rods" tells the story of two loving Spaniards. Well, you understand. When the book came out, there was a big literary scandal. Since it was not customary to write such frank novels at that time. Some particularly prudish critics still consider it adult-only literary pornography.

A_gata
2005-12-16 02:35 pm UTC (link)
You are. It is immediately clear that no one has read it. The exact title of the first novel is "Thin Cat", the title, of course, is unexpected, but this, stylistic device such. It's about the poor old Spanish woman La Mancha. She lived alone with her cat in poverty. Well, gradually they had absolutely nothing to eat, and the cat began to lose weight before our eyes and becomes generally transparent simply.

He then died at the end. And LaMancha died too. Karochi, the main essence of the novel is about the horror of loneliness, so tell the teacher. And one more thing - that "thin cat" is such a metaphor that runs like a red thread through the entire novel.

I don’t remember the second book very well, but there the main character was called Rabinzon Crusoe, he was an Italian Jew (well, like Rabinovich with us, they have Rabinzon). Well, he was persecuted for his Jewishness. And he was good and a kind person and was friends with Italian children. In short, a book about the fact that persecuting Jews is bad.

Kostya30
2005-12-21 08:53 pm UTC (link)
Robinson Crusoe. Summary. No kidding. Dear Pamidor! Joseph Brodsky in his Nobel lecture noted that not reading books is, in essence, a crime. Not only in front of himself, but also in front of all mankind, in front of the future, in front of children.

Risk your health by reading these two excellent books on your own. Well, let's say Don Quixote seems to be hard for you to read at first. But Robinson Crusoe! - believe me, this is an easy and unusually exciting reading! These idiots have completely confused your brains, what they write has nothing to do with the real content of the novel.

The action of the novel is so dynamic - I swear you will not come off. Russian translation - great! Just so as not to offend you, I will briefly describe where the dog is buried. On the big chemical plant there is an accident in China. The flow of benzene rushes to the river.
The main character, the American engineer Harrison, realizing what has happened, runs to the river in horror exclaiming "Raw benzol! Raw benzol! The horror of what happened finally reaches the Chinese workers, who were used to negligence and indifference.

In the evening, over a bottle of beer, Harrison tells his Chinese colleagues about the terrible consequences that the accident will bring to the river, the cities located downstream, people who will probably drink river water ... Then one of the workers recalls that there is an orphanage downstream .

After a simple calculation (distance divided by the speed of the current), engineer Harrison realizes that benzene-contaminated water will be near the orphanage in just 3 hours. A brave engineer on his trusty car Toyota Cruiser manages to do 400 km off-road in 3 hours and saves children. The inaccurately heard exclamation "Raw benzol" by the Chinese becomes the nickname of the protagonist of the novel.

Chinese comrades. Garrison is now called "Robinson". The car is not the last place in the novel. At critical moments, the hero talks to the car, begs her not to let her down, communicates with her as with a living person. The novel was written by a recognized master of prose, a modern classic of Chinese literature, De Foe. The name, of course, combines the nickname of the protagonist ("Raw benzol" = Robinson) and the name of the car "Cruiser = Crusoe". Good luck in your studies.

Marcus
No, you are confused. Don Ki Hot is an Italian mobster of Korean descent. Rigid mores of Sicily, contempt of native Italians, struggle for a place in society.

Tears at night in the pillow, yellow cheeks sunken from hopelessness, a stiff brush of tousled hair, and the question froze in the slits of the eyes - why, bl.??!!! This is a novel about racial intolerance, about how you are not understood if you are a little different.

If not for the faithful sensei San Cho Pans, instead of a tragicomedy, the novel would have been just a tragedy. Entertaining reading for melancholic. I recommend."

Here is such a correspondence received. I don't know about you, but I had fun.

"Don Quixote" - the most famous work in which the hero fights with windmills - certainly deserves reading!

First chapter

Don Alonso Kejano devotes every free minute to reading novels... Knights in armor, battles, giants, bewitched beauties settle in his imagination so realistically that the windmill seems to him a giant villain, and he himself appears as a hero, ready to fight with it.

Don Alonso is a tall, lean man in his fifties, absorbed in the world of chivalry. He admired the fact that the knights performed all the feats for the improvement of the world - they helped the weak, offended, helpless. Now they have forgotten their duty.

The hero spends all his money on novels, so he has to live from hand to mouth. He naively believes that the stories in their books are true. In the end, Don Alonso decides to become a noble knight himself. He finds old armor, the weapons of his ancestors. He invents a helmet with his own hands.

Rocinante's old horse becomes his warhorse. He began to call himself Don Quixote of La Mancha. His beautiful lady he imagined a young peasant woman from the neighboring village of Toboso as Aldonsa, but called her by the more sonorous name of Dulcinea of ​​Toboso.

Second chapter

One summer morning, Don Quixote set out on his journey. It suddenly occurred to him that no one had knighted him until now, and you couldn’t fight like that! The books said that any feudal lord - the owner of the castle - could perform the rite of passage. The hero let go of the reins and decided that he would be dedicated where fate itself would lead him.

The knight rode for a long time. Finally, the lights of a small tavern appeared in the distance. The innkeeper asked the old man for money, but the traveler was very surprised - after all, the knights never carried them. The innkeeper convinces him that the knight really needs money, as well as ointments for wounds and a faithful squire.

In order to keep the guest out for free, he gave Don Quixote the task of guarding his armor on the street. So the traveler almost speared a mule driver who wanted to water the animals. The old man was almost thrown with stones, but the innkeeper saved him and, hitting him twice on the shoulders, knighted him.

Third chapter

The knight decided to choose a squire. Suddenly, in the forest, he heard the cries of a shepherd boy who was being beaten by a peasant peasant. Trying to save the child, Don Quixote took promises from the peasant that he would no longer beat the shepherdess and pay him the salary that was due. But as soon as the knight retired, the execution continued with greater force.

Soon Don Quixote meets merchants, whom he decides to fight, but they laugh at him. He himself falls from the horse and under the weight of his armor and can no longer get up. Out of pity, a peasant brings him home. There, the housekeeper and the priest of Don Quixote decide to burn all the books, like all the troubles of their owner because of them.

Fourth chapter

The old man's books were burned. For him, they came up with a story about an insidious wizard who destroyed books. Alonso Kejano believed the stories, but did not refuse the exploits. Not far from him lived the poor Sancho Panza, who dreamed of wealth. When Don Quixote offered him to become a squire, to receive remuneration for this and in the future to become the governor of the conquered city, he agrees.

The knight sells the estate, renews uniforms. He puts the squire on the donkey. And they go on a secret journey.

Fifth chapter

Encountering three windmills on the way, Don Quixote fights them like monsters and is defeated. Sancho helps him onto the horse. Then he represents the monks passing by as robbers, and the lady in the carriage as a beautiful princess. He throws the monks to the ground. And Pansa robs one of them. In battle, the knight's ear is wounded, and he tells the squire the legend of the miraculous ointment. Sancho Panza offers to sell such a balm, but the don objects.

They have to spend the night outdoors. The peasant dreams of a soft bed, and the old man is delighted that he lives just like in novels - in wanderings, in hardships.

Sixth, seventh and eighth chapters

Protecting their horse from the shepherds, Don Quixote and his squire received good cuffs. The innkeeper began to treat them, hiding them in the attic. At night, the knight groaned so in pain that a mule driver attacked him. In the morning he decided to prepare a healing balm. He ordered Sancho to buy wine, oil, salt and rosemary, mixed them all and whispered some words. The balm helped the knight, and caused an attack of vomiting in Pansa.

The knight is exposed for non-payment. On the way, he attacks a procession of monks, mistaking them for ghosts, after which Sancho calls him a knight of a sad image. He then buys a copper basin from the barber, mistaking it for a golden helmet. Thinking that he is helping the oppressed, Don Quixote frees the convicts, who rob both the head of the convoy and their saviors.

Pansa decides to return home to his wife. Don Quixote asks him to deliver a letter to his beloved Dulcinea, where he talks about his exploits. When the knight of the sad image climbs the mountain, Sancho Panza leaves for home on Rocinante, having forgotten the letter to the beautiful lady.

Ninth chapter

Houses lost the old don. Sancho Panza tells about the adventures of his master, and relatives decide to save the old man by deceit. They ask one woman to pretend to be oppressed, thereby luring the knight out. So they lured him into a wooden cage and took him home.

Tenth chapter

The home of the madman is all in tears. noble knight began to recover little by little. A student, Samson Carrasco, appears in the village and volunteers to cure the old man of his madness only if he goes on a journey again. So Don Quixote sets out on a new campaign. He behaves extremely calmly, does not rush into battles.

The student thought that, hiding his face, he would fight with the old man, defeat him and take an oath from him for two years not to think about campaigns and battles. But suddenly the old man wins. Samson conceives a plan of revenge and continues to pursue the old man.

Eleventh and twelfth chapters

Don Diego invites the knight and his squire home. There, Don Quixote sees the lions prepared for the king and demands to release them from their cages. Wish fulfilled. But the lion obediently returns to his captivity, seeing a strange old man.

Don Diego's wanderers lived in comfort and prosperity. But soon they set off on a journey again., performed new stupid feats. Several times Sancho tried to leave his master, but thought better of asking for forgiveness.

Thirteenth - fifteenth chapter

In the forest, the travelers met hunters led by a beautiful maiden from high society. The duchess and her husband invite strangers to visit. There they made fun of Don Quixote's stupidity in all sorts of ways. They are trying to play Sancho Panza too - to give him an island.

The servants are dressed as women. Don Quixote thinks that the girls were bewitched by an evil wizard. He climbs into a wooden, supposedly flying horse. The owners of the castle pretend to be unconscious. As a result, the curse is defeated - the duchess is freed from her beard and thanks her savior.

Sixteenth and seventeenth chapters

The duke sends Sancho in a smart dress to a new position - the governor of the island of Baratoria. Actually it was one of the Duke's towns. Pansa is checked in a new position - people with problems are brought to him so that he can resolve all their questions. Sancho decides everything at its best, using their experience of folk life.

At night, he is disturbed by the news of the attack of the conspirators. He is dressed in heavy armor, in which he cannot move and falls. It is announced that the conspirators have won. Sancho Panza resigns his post. All he has left is a loaf of bread and a donkey. On the way home, he falls into a deep hole with the donkey. The donkey screams, Sancho Panza yells. Finally, they see a light in the distance.

Chapter eighteen

Don Quixote gets tired of quiet life at the duke. He misses his squire. Having left the castle, he leaves just to the place where the cries of a donkey and a man are heard. He calls the duke for help, and they pull the captives out of the pit. Don Quixote plans to go to a jousting tournament in Barcelona to fight for the hand of his beloved Dulcinea. Sancho follows him.

Everyone at the tournament made fun of him. The ladies kept asking the knight to dance with them. He was so tired that he fell unconscious, and they carried him to the bedchamber. In the afternoon, he was driven around the city with a sign “This is Don Quixote of La Mancha”, everyone pointed the finger at him, and the knight was surprised at his suddenly increased popularity.

The next day, Don Quixote was given a divination session, where Carrasco, who had hidden himself, acted as a secret oracle. After the session, the student dressed as a knight of the moon, called the old man to fight, threw him to the ground and demanded that he give up his exploits and wanderings. Don Quixote gave his word and lost consciousness. Sancho lamented that his master's time of glory had passed. But I soon realized that good food is better than any adventure.

Chapter nineteen

Don Quixote returns home exhausted. He is sick and exhausted. Finally, he sees the whole reality of his situation - a half-dead horse, wretched armor. Before his death, he announced that his whole life was devoid of purpose, he himself was ridiculous and now he is just a poor hidalgo Kehano. Sancho weeps at the bedside of his dying master. Before his death, Don Alonso transferred his property to his niece, on the condition that she never marry a knight-errant. The old man died quietly, as if asleep. The words of Samson Carrasco were placed on his grave: "He surprised the world with his madness, but he died like a sage."

Don Alonso Kejano devotes all his time to reading novels... Knights, fights, giants and enchanted princesses occupy his imagination so much that he can raise his huge sword over the head of the old housekeeper, imagining that she is a giant. This tall thin man of about fifty is completely immersed in the world of chivalry. Knights, he thinks, did not live for themselves. For the whole world they performed feats! They stood up for widows and orphans, for the weak and defenseless, for the oppressed and offended. And now everyone lives in his own hole, does not care about the welfare of his neighbor.

The income from the estate of a poor nobleman is barely enough for the most modest food and clothing. All free money he spends on novels. This passionate and naive person believes that everything in these books is true.

And so he decides to become a knight-errant and go in search of adventure. But you can’t go on exploits in an old caftan! In the closet, don Alonso found old armor and weapons, they belonged to one of his ancestors. He made the helmet with his own hands, somehow putting together an old cone and a visor.

Old Kejano chose a sonorous name for himself: Don Quixote of La Mancha. The riding horse was found - an old and skinny white horse named Rosinante. It remains only to find the lady of the heart. After all, the knights devoted all their exploits to a beautiful lady.

In the nearby village of Toboso, an elderly knight saw a young, hard-working peasant girl named Aldonsa. He called her a magnificent name - Dulcinea Toboso. And if someone doubts that his chosen one is a princess of blood, he will be able to defend the honor of her name!

In the early July morning, Don Quixote saddled Rocinante, put on his armor, picked up a spear and set off.

And suddenly the traveler realized that no one had knighted him. And the uninitiated cannot fight! If you believe the novels, then any owner of the castle can knight. Don Quixote let go of Rocinante's reins - let the horse and fate lead him where it is necessary. The poor knight rode all day, the horse had already begun to stumble from fatigue.

And then a poor hotel appeared in the distance. Two village girls, gossiping at the gate, the rider took for beautiful ladies. With his courteous turns of speech, he made them laugh very much.

The tavern owner asks if the traveler has money. Don Quixote never read that knights took such a thing as money with them on the road.

The owner convinces him of the need to stock up on money, linen, ointment for wounds and, most importantly, a quick-witted squire.

The cunning innkeeper, not wanting to provide housing without payment, sent a wanderer to guard his armor in the yard. Don Quixote took this "task" with great responsibility: he put the armor on a trough by the well and, like a night ghost, trampled around beside it. Mule drivers, who needed to water the animals, were defeated by the "knight's spear."

The madman was nearly stoned to death. But the innkeeper stood up for the poor fellow and knighted him with two strong blows on the shoulder.

Don Quixote thought about choosing a squire. He mentally settled on one simple-hearted peasant. Rosinante turned briskly towards the house. Suddenly, in the nearest forest, there were screams and sounds of blows. But a fat peasant has tied a shepherd boy to a tree and whips him with a belt because he again did not guard the sheep.

Don Quixote threatens the brute with a spear and forces him to give an honest noble word that the shepherdess will no longer be beaten and will pay him a salary. Naturally, as soon as the intercessor left, the shepherd boy was stuffed by the owner "with an increase and with an increase", and did not receive any money.

Don Quixote, in full confidence that he did heroic deed, goes further. On the road, he meets a whole company of horsemen - these are merchants who appear to the inflamed imagination of the don as knights. And that means, according to the code approved by the novels, you need to fight them: let them admit that Dulcinea of ​​Toboso is the most beautiful in the world.

The merchants laugh at the crazy wanderer. He rushes and fights, falls off his horse, cannot get up - heavy armor interferes with him. One of the servants stands up for the owner and brutally beats the unlucky hero.

A kind peasant, marveling at the absurd nonsense of Don Quixote, loaded him onto his donkey. And he piled armor and even fragments of a spear on Rocinante. The dreamer was brought home.

The housekeeper and the priest believe that all the harm comes from stupid books. We must burn them! Yes, burn it, and tell a madman that his library was taken away by a scarlet sorcerer...

The door to the library was closed up and plastered tightly.

The priest and the barber (barber, barber) burned the library on a fire in the yard, and the crazy reader was told stories about a magician who flew on a huge dragon and destroyed the books. Alonso Kejano fully believed this, but he did not stop dreaming of exploits.

Nearby lived the poor peasant Sancho Panza. He was not very smart and incredibly wanted to get rich. Don Quixote offered him a salary and the service of a squire. In addition, the gullible peasant was promised in the future to make him the governor of some conquered island.

Don Quixote sold the best part of his estate, stuffed his purse with coins, mended his broken weapons, and ordered the new squire to take care of the provisions. Sancho set off on a donkey, which seemed to the lord rather indecent for a squire. But without his long-eared comrade, Sancho refused to leave - he did not like walking at all.

These two got out of the village at night and meandered strongly along the road, wanting to get rid of the pursued.

In search of adventure and dreams of governorship, the travelers reached a clearing on which three dozen windmills towered. Don Quixote assures Sancho that they are in fact giants, and rushes into battle with the "monsters" despite the persuasion of a prudent squire.

The wind rises - and turns the wings of the mills more and more. It seems to the noble don that the giants have taken flight. He goes on the attack. The wind is getting stronger, the wings remind a mad lord of waving arms. Spurring Rocinante, the adventurer rushed forward and plunged his spear into the wing. The wind lifted the poor fellow up, threw him to the ground - almost a mile away from the place of events, and broke the spear into chips.

With the help of a faithful squire, groaning, the old don climbs onto his horse. He planted the tip of the spear on a stick found in the forest. He is quite sure that the sorcerer Freston (the one who burned his library) turned the giants into windmills.

Next, Don Quixote meets two monks. They ride on horseback, sheltering from the heat under umbrellas. In the same direction as the monks, a carriage follows, where a certain lady travels. The mad knight immediately declares the lady - a beautiful princess, and the monks - the robbers who took her prisoner. And no matter how they try to convince him, he throws the monks to the ground. Sancho immediately begins to rob one of them: do the knights get booty in battle?

The noble don, with a polite bow, informs the lady and her servant that they are free from their tormentors - and in gratitude let them report this feat to the ruler of his heart, Donna Dulcinea of ​​Toboso. Women are ready to promise anything, but then the servants who accompanied the carriage came to their senses. One of them was slashed on the head with a sword by the "defender of the oppressed" so that he fell, bleeding from his nose and ears.

The frightened lady threw herself on her knees in front of the outrageous madman, begging to spare her servant. Mercy was graciously granted. Sancho bandaging his master's severed ear. Don Quixote with inspiration tells the gullible squire another legend - about a miraculous healing balm, the recipe of which he supposedly knows. The peasant tells the master that by selling such a balm, one can get rich. But the nobleman very seriously replies that he is "not a huckster."

The don's helmet is all chopped up, and he takes an oath "not to eat bread from the tablecloth" until he takes the helmet from some knight in battle. Sancho reasonably retorts that helmeted knights don't stand at every crossroads.

Seekers of exploits have to spend the night with shepherds under the open sky. The squire sighs about a soft bed, and the knight rejoices that everything is happening to him, as in novels, - nomadic life, deprivation...

Rosinante, during the rest of the travelers in the forest, galloped to a herd of young healthy horses, who did not rightfully have his company. The horses began to bite and kick the poor fellow, the herdsmen began to whip him with whips. Don Quixote, delighted with the new occasion for battle, rushed to the defense of his faithful horse. Here the herdsmen beat both the knight and the squire so badly that the miraculous balm would be very useful to them.

The good-natured hostess of the tavern covered the sufferers with healing plasters and gave shelter in the attic. At night, the beaten knight moaned so much that he woke up the mule driver who was sleeping nearby - and he attacked the traveler with such fury that he broke the bed on which he slept.

In the morning, Don Quixote sends a squire for wine, oil, salt, and rosemary for a miraculous balm. He interfered with the potion, muttered prayers over it, extended his hand for a blessing ... As a result of the sacred ceremony, a terrible muck turned out, from which both the don himself and Sancho had bouts of vomiting. Moreover, the don slept for three hours - and he felt better, and the squire was so weak that he barely climbed onto the donkey and cursed all the balms in the world. Don Quixote just brushed it off: “You are not a knight. Such a balm cannot help you...” Sancho was rightly angry: “Why then was it necessary to give a remedy if you know that it cannot help?”

The noble don refuses to pay for a stay in a tavern: he has never read that the knights paid for this - after all, they honor the owners with such a visit. For this refusal, poor Sancho flew in: the innkeeper and the people gathered at the inn tossed Sancho on a blanket like a ball. Having had fun, they put him on a donkey and put him out for a whip.

Yes, and a bag of provisions was taken away ...

And the knight-errant still cannot calm down: he takes two oncoming flocks of sheep for fighting troops - and rushes into the thick of an imaginary battle, crumbling the sheep to the right and left. The shepherds tried to calm the madman with screams, and then they could not stand it - and threw stones at him. Don Quixote, despite the assurances of his companion that they were just sheep, considers this incident to be the jokes of the evil magician Freston.

The thirst for achievement does not leave the knight: he attacks the funeral procession of monks, which he takes for a procession of ghosts. This time, the poor don is not beaten, and Sancho Panza quietly gets to the mule loaded with provisions and picks up a supply of food.

After meeting with the monks, Sancho assigns to his don the name by which he has been known for many centuries: the Knight of the Sorrowful Image.

By the river, Don Quixote almost repeats his feat with windmills - only with felting hammers set in motion by the power of water. Sancho, finally understanding the impossibility of opening his master's eyes to reality, slowly entangles Rocinante's hind legs - and he cannot move, only whinnying plaintively. Don Quixote believes that hostile forces have bewitched the horse - and the travelers are quietly waiting for the dawn. As the sun rises, Sancho begins to laugh:

We would be good if we jumped straight into the water!

Don Quixote, angry, hits the faithful squire with a spear on the shoulder with all his might:

You're forgetting due respect to me! I myself am to blame for this: I allowed too much closeness between us. Now you will speak to me only when I myself turn to you.

On the road, travelers come across a man riding a donkey. There is something on his head. This is a barber from the nearest village, who put on a copper basin over his new hat to protect it from dust and heat. The basin seemed to the wandering knight a golden helmet, which he beat off quite easily, simply threatening the barber with a spear. Sancho removes a beautiful new harness from the barber's donkey. He would have taken the donkey, but the knight forbade him.

Don Quixote put a basin on his head, marveling at its size - obviously, this is the helmet of the legendary giant Mambrin.

A party of convicts under escort is moving towards the travelers. They are driven to the galleys. The brave knight first politely addresses the head of the convoy with a request to release the "oppressed". The boss, of course, refuses - he does his job. "Liberator of the unfortunate" knocks the boss out of the saddle. The convicts (and they are punished for robbery and robbery) break their chains, disperse the convoy and rob the chief, lying on the ground.

The Knight of the Sorrowful Image demands from them, in gratitude, to come to Dulcinea and report on his feat. The convicts shower the knight and squire with a hail of ridicule and stones, take off Sancho's cloak and lead away his donkey. The squire hobbles after his master, dragging a sack full of provisions.

Suddenly, the travelers find the corpse of a half-decayed mule, and next to it is a suitcase containing some linen and a purse with a hundred gold coins. The knight favors this find to his squire. Sancho, feeling incredibly rich, wants to return home to please his wife.

The sad knight climbs high into the mountains. There he is going, imitating his hero - the knight of ancient times Amadis of Gaul, to fall into a noble madness, walk naked, fast and scourge himself. He sends the squire back with a letter to Dulcinea and an assignment to tell about his follies.

Sancho leaves his master in the mountains and sets out on his return journey on Rocinante. He absent-mindedly forgot the letter to Dulcinea.

At home, meanwhile, they worry about Don Quixote. The nephew and the housekeeper are looking for him everywhere. The barber and the priest are going on a journey - in search. But right outside the gates they meet Sancho riding on Rocinante. After listening to the tale of the mad knight's adventures, worried friends gather in search of him. We must bring the poor don back home. But how? Only deceit. The knight believes in fairy tales much more than in real facts and fair arguments.

The priest met a traveling lady who was persuaded to impersonate a oppressed girl - and thus lure the don out of his hermitage in the mountains. Sancho on Rocinante was their guide.

The beauty pretended to be the princess of the Micomicon kingdom, the barber tied his beard from a red cow's tail - and pretended to be the faithful page of the unfortunate princess. Don Quixote believed everything he was told, mounted his skinny horse and set off to perform the feat. On the way they were met by a priest. The travelers stayed at an inn.

At night, the noble don rushed into battle with the "terrible giant" who oppressed Princess Micomicon. The owner of the hotel ran into the room - and saw that the guest was striking with his spear the wineskins (skins) with wine that were stored in the same room. The wine flooded the whole room. The priest kept the owner from reprisal: “The man is out of his mind! We will reimburse all losses!

In the morning, Don Quixote assured everyone that he had cut off the giant's head, and demanded that this trophy be sent to Dulcinea de Toboso.

The barber and the pastor deceived the hero into a wooden cage placed on a cart, and thus took him home.

Don Quixote's household, seeing him in a cage, burst into tears. He was completely emaciated, extremely pale and suffering from an incredible decline in strength. They put him to bed like a sick child.

Sancho Panza pleases his wife and daughter with a purse full of gold and stories of fantastic adventures. The long-eared friend of his Sancho soon found and took away from the thief.

The noble don begins to gradually recover, but still looks more like some kind of dried-up mummy, and not like a person. The student Samson Carrasco comes to the village. He volunteers to cure the knight of his madness, but only if he travels again. Such, they say, is his method. Carrasco tells the don that he has read a book that describes the exploits of the Knight of the Sorrowful Image. The naive dreamer does not notice that the student is mocking him evilly. Inspired by the fact that he can serve as an example for a noble youth, Don Quixote sets off on a new journey. With him and a faithful squire on a newly found donkey. Behind them, Carrasco secretly moves forward, observing the phenomenon of a crazy wanderer knight that is interesting to him.

Don Quixote behaves quite calmly, he does not even think of engaging in battle with wandering comedians, although they are dressed in strange costumes: devils, angels, emperors and jesters...

Carrasco makes himself a luxurious outfit of a Knight of the Forest or Mirrors, actually embroidered with mirrors. On the helmet is a luxurious plume of colorful feathers. The face is covered with a visor. His squire (Thomas, Sancho's neighbor) has a terrible hooked red nose with blue warts. The nose is made of cardboard - and Foma scared Sancho so much with this nose that he climbed a tree. The Knight of the Forest challenges the Knight of the Sad Image to a duel, claiming that in honor of his lady he defeated many knights - including Don Quixote. Don starts arguing and offers to settle the dispute with a duel.

The skinny old man surprisingly easily manages to knock his young opponent out of the saddle. The fact is that Carrasco's horse balked - and this thwarted his plan: to defeat (unrecognized!) The crazy wanderer in battle and, by right of the winner, take an oath from him for at least two years not to seek adventure and live peacefully at home.

Don Quixote decides that the transformation of the Knight of Mirrors into a familiar student is the work of the wizard Freston. He majestically sends the “Knight of Mirrors” to Dulcinea: let him tell about the next feat of her admirer. But Carrasco, who, after a fight with an old man, had to heal his battered sides from a random chiropractor, continues to pursue the noble don. Now the student does not want to treat the madman - Samson dreams of revenge for his defeat.

11, 12

On the way, Don Quixote meets a man in a beautiful green dress, on a beautiful horse. This is the owner of a neighboring estate - the rich man Don Diego. He became interested in the strange ideas of the lean seeker of exploits and invited him and the squire to his estate, to which they agreed.

Knight notices dust on the road. These are cages with lions, which someone sends as a gift to the king. The escort says that the lions are hungry on the way - and it's time to quickly get to the neighboring village to feed the animals, exhausted by the journey.

Don Quixote demands that the hungry lions be released from the cage - he will immediately fight them!

No matter how they try to convince the knight, he is unshakable. The lion is released. The animal sticks its huge head out of the cage... So what? Seeing the don sticking out in front of the cage with a shield in one hand and a spear at the ready in the other, the lion shook his mane and retired back to the cage. The seeker of exploits was about to tease the beast, but the leader managed to persuade him to leave the animal alone - the knight had already sufficiently proved his courage.

Don Quixote ordered Sancho to pay the muleteers for their trouble, and the leader to tell the king about the unparalleled feat of the knight of Lions, with such a proud name he decided to call himself from that day on.

In the estate of Don Diego, both the knight and the squire lived in high esteem - they were fed with various delicious dishes, generously poured wine, invited to a peasant wedding ...

But Don Quixote could not live in one place for a long time - and soon set off again.

New roads - new meetings. Street comedian Pedro wanders into one of the hotels with the fortune teller monkey Pittacus.

The Knight of Lions watches with interest the performance of the puppet theater. When princess Mélisande is chased by puppet Moors, the don takes the theatrical performance for the pure truth. He bravely knocked his head off the cardboard Basurman "troop". The Christians also got into a mess: the Melisande doll was left with a broken head and without a nose.

I had to make amends. However, the noble don does not repent of his deed: he is sure that it is the same insidious sorcerer Freston who turned the army into dolls - and vice versa.

On the way, the knight of Lions forced Sancho to leave his horse and donkey on the river bank and jump into the boat without oars and sails. The boat immediately drifted downstream.

Where are you going? they shouted from the shore. - The boat will fall under the wheel of a water mill! You will break!

Good people tried to block the way of the boat with poles, but Don Quixote yelled:

Away! Everything is enchanted here! You won't be able to stop me! I will infiltrate the enchanted castle and free the prisoners whose groans I can hear.

The boat hit the poles and capsized. The knight and the squire flew into the water, from where they were safely pulled out. But the boat itself fell under the wheel of the mill and shattered into chips. Such a fate would await our adventurers.

Then the fishermen, the owners of the ruined ship, came flying and demanded compensation for the loss. Don Quixote ordered the squire to pay them off and left in sorrow: he could not save the imaginary captives.

Fortunately, the donkey and Rocinante remained safe and sound.

Sancho was angry and even wanted to leave the owner, but then he was persuaded, ashamed and even shed tears of repentance.

13-15

In a clearing near the forest, the travelers met a cavalcade of hunters. In front galloped a richly dressed horsewoman, clearly from the highest circles of society. On her arm sat a falcon. She was talking to a stately man - also noble and splendidly dressed.

The Duke and Duchess invite the famous knight to rest at their estate. Travelers agree.

In front of the duke, by an absurd accident, a knight and a squire fall at the same time, one from a horse, the other from a donkey. This greatly amuses the noble company, which expects to have fun more than once at the expense of the legendary couple. In a special room, prepared with all kinds of luxury for the knight of Lions, he is provided with magnificent robes: silk, velvet, lace, satin. Water in a silver basin and other accessories for washing are brought to him by as many as four maids (servants).

However, the shaving water runs out at the very moment when the knight's face is lathered... He stands with his neck outstretched, and everyone secretly makes fun of him. So intended. The gentlemen have fun playing tricks on the knight, and the servants on Sancho.

However, a noble couple is developing a whole plan - how to play Sancho too. He is promised an island where he will be the governor.

On the hunt, noble gentlemen hunted a wild boar. With the onset of darkness, the forest was filled with trumpet sounds, thousands of lights lit up. A fantastic messenger galloped up - with the head of a devil and riding a zebra. He announced that the same moment the wizard Merlin with the enchanted Dulcinea would appear to the Knight of the Sad Image. The wizard will tell the noble don how to rid the unfortunate of the spell.

A procession of sorcerers appears in the most incredible outfits. They are carrying a lovely girl wrapped in a transparent veil. The hunched wizard (everyone notices in horror that he has a bare skull instead of a head!) announces that there is only one way to disenchant the beautiful Dulcinea: Sancho must inflict three thousand blows on his naked body with a whip!

Sancho tries his best to evade. But Dulcinea showers him with wild curses, among which are "evil freak", and "chicken heart", and "cast-iron soul" ... Sancho is offended: Dulcinea would do well to learn politeness!

The duchess hints to the squire that if he does not agree to help the great mistress of his master's heart, then he will not see the governorship, like his ears without a mirror.

All this comedy was run by the chief chamberlain of the duke. He played the role of Merlin himself, and the beautiful Dulcinea was portrayed by a pretty young page.

The draws didn't end there. Another procession appears, led by a giant covered with a black veil, through which a long gray beard is visible.

Don Quixote is announced that he is on foot from Asia itself! - the Countess Doloriada Trifalda appeared. She wants to beg him for protection... and here is the Countess herself. She lifts her veil... Oh horror! Her face is overgrown with a beard, the faces of her maids are also ...

To save women from the magician's curse, Don Quixote has to mount a wooden (supposedly flying) horse, controlled by a spring in his forehead. And not alone - but together with a squire.

I don't care about all the bearded countesses! Sancho fights back, but eventually agrees.

In the evening, four men dressed as Asian savages carry a huge wooden horse into the garden. The knight and his squire are seated on this monstrous structure like a lady (sideways). They were blindfolded under the pretext that otherwise they might be afraid of heights and fall down. To imitate the flight, the servants of the ducal couple either blow the “brave travelers” in the face with the help of huge furs, like blacksmiths, or stick burning torches under their very noses.

And finally, the wooden horse flies up into the air, as it was stuffed with firecrackers.

The duke and duchess and all his retinue pretended to lie unconscious. “Recovering from fainting,” they told Don Quixote that his flight surprised the formidable wizard so much that he saved all the victims from his curse and transferred them back to their homeland, and returned the brave knight with his valiant squire to the duchess’s garden.

The "enchanted" countess lost her beard and, leaving, left a large parchment with gratitude to her savior.

16, 17

Sancho was very glad that he got off so lightly, and spun three boxes, talking about his journey under heaven ...

And so the duke finally ordered Sancho to go to the governorship. The squire was dressed up in a rich dress, seated on a mule, and then a richly decorated donkey was led. Sancho was convinced that it was indecent for the governor to ride on a donkey, but he was not able to completely part with his long-eared friend.

The island of Baratoria was in fact not an island at all, but one of the cities that belonged to the duke. But Sancho was not well versed in geography, so he was not at all surprised that the road to the "island" never crossed the body of water.

Everyone expected new eccentricities, but Sancho behaved with dignity, although those who did not know what was the matter seemed strange to his overweight figure and kind peasant face.

The chamberlain, disguised as a marshal, says that the new governor must prove himself as a wise judge. Therefore, people with controversial issues are brought to him. Sancho resolves all disputes brilliantly, using his powers of observation and the common sense of the people.

So, for example, two old men came to the governor's chair, one of whom leaned on a staff.

An old man without a staff brought a complaint that he had long ago lent ten gold coins to the second. The debtor assures that he gave the money a long time ago, and the lender simply forgot about it.

Let him take an oath in front of the governor! - requires the plaintiff.

The defendant asks the plaintiff to hold his staff, he obeys. The old man who borrowed money raises his hands to the sky and swears:

God knows that I gave the money to this man!

Sancho Panza watches closely, then removes his staff and breaks it. There are coins hidden in the staff!

That is, having given before the oath a hollowed-out stick with coins hidden in it, the debtor was formally right: he gave the money. But it was a hoax!

Sancho unraveled the intent of the deceiver. The people marveled at his ingenuity.

A huge disappointment awaited the governor at dinner. In mockery, Dr. Pedro the Callous was assigned to him, who forbade him to eat pears, pineapples, pates, and partridges ... Moreover, all the dishes were first brought, and then removed by order of the fake doctor.

At first they teased Sancho's appetite, and then they left him with nothing. Also, the Duke the former initiator this fun, sent a dispatch (message, letter) to the governor, where he warned that they wanted to poison Sancho. So don't touch him delicious meals: What if there is poison in them?

Sancho ate bread and grapes and went to survey his possessions. In one of the taverns, he managed to have a hearty dinner of lamb with onions and veal legs. He fell asleep not hungry, but extremely dissatisfied with his new position. He dreams of getting rid of the annoying doctor and his prescriptions.

At night, he is raised from his bed with cries of an attack by conspirators. Heavy armor is put on Sancho, in which he cannot not only fight, but also move. He tries to take a step, but falls. Torches are burning, shouts are heard, over the “governor”, ​​half dead from fear, they now and then jump over and even climb on him, as if on a dais.

In the end, it is announced that victory has been won over the conspirators. Sancho collapses on the bed, exhausted. In the morning he renounces his powers as governor, saddles his beloved gray, does not accept any gifts. He takes only a loaf of bread for himself and some oats for the donkey.

On the way back, Sancho and the donkey suddenly fell into a very deep hole. Rather, it was a dry well with walls lined with stone. Below was a branched labyrinth.

The donkey roars plaintively, Sancho also lets out cries of despair. Wander through the labyrinth, the donkey and his master reach a small crevice into which light breaks through.

Don Quixote was bored with the idle life of the duke. Besides, he misses his squire. The duke keeps the wanderer, but he replies that his duties to the knightly order call him to new feats. Riding thoughtfully around the castle, the noble don discovers the very crevice from which the voices of a donkey and a faithful squire are heard.

Don Quixote calls the duke for help - and Sancho, along with a long-eared donkey, is pulled out of the pit. Don Quixote is going to a jousting tournament in Barcelona. There he will fight with some famous knight for the glory of his beloved Dulcinea. But she's bewitched! Sancho had not yet committed self-flagellation. And this is necessary - so the duke inspired the lgo owner. Sancho, loving his master, agrees...

During this unpleasant conversation for Sancho, a robber attacks the travelers in the forest. However, having heard such a famous name as the knight of Lions, he abandons the intention to rob, hospitalizes a couple of travelers and gives them a letter to a noble gentleman in Barcelona - Don Antonio. In fact it continues to amuse the Duke.

In Barcelona, ​​the knight and his squire were surrounded by brilliant horsemen. They were given extraordinary honor and fed to fame. All this, of course, was again arranged by noblemen for entertainment.

In the evening Señor Antonio hosted a ball. The guests were warned about the opportunity to laugh. The girls and ladies, having fun, invited the "celebrity" to dance, and since Don Quixote, not the most dexterous and experienced dancer, did not want to offend anyone, he talked and danced with everyone without noticing ridicule. This brought him to fainting from exhaustion - and he was carried to the bedroom. Sancho, in anger, began to reproach the audience: the business of his master is not to dance, but to perform feats!

The guests made fun of both.

In the evening, the famous hidalgo was taken through the streets of the city. Unbeknownst to him, the inscription "This is Don Quixote of La Mancha" was attached to the back of a luxurious new cloak. Onlookers and street boys pointed to the rider and read the inscription aloud. The Knight of the Sorrowful Image took this as evidence of his extraordinary popularity.

The next day, Don Antonio, his wife, Don Quixote, and Sancho entered a room where a bronze head was placed on a jade board. As Don Antonio assured, she was made by a skilled magician and knew how to predict without opening her mouth. The secret was explained simply: a hollow tube went from the head - through the leg of the table to the lower floor. The student Carrasco was hiding there, who answered questions according to the circumstances, recognizing the voices. So, Sancho, he predicted that he would be governor - but only in his own house.

After the divination session, the student Carrasco dressed up as a knight of the moon, challenged Don Quixote to fight, threw him to the ground along with Rocinante, and demanded that he refrain from traveling and exploits for a year.

I am ready to recognize the incomparable beauty of Dulcinea, - assured the Knight of the Moon, - just return home.

As you guessed, all the pranks of the duke were also started at the initiative of the student. Don Quixote made this promise and fainted. Rosinante hurt himself so much that he was hardly brought to the stable. Sancho wept: the light of his knight's glory was gone. However, the sane squire soon consoled himself. He sat with his master in a roadside forest, nibbling on a pork ham bone and reasoning that a good piece of meat is better than any adventure. Here, having doused them with an unbearable stench, a herd of pigs almost rushed over their heads.

These, Sancho, are the jokes of Merlin, who is taking revenge on us for the fact that we still have not freed Dulcinea from the spell.

Sancho agreed that it was time. He made himself a whip from the harness of a donkey, retired into the forest and after the first five very painful blows began to scourge ... trees. At the same time, he squealed so much that his master, accustomed to torment, was imbued with unprecedented pity for his squire.

Don Quixote returns home. His strength is broken. He fell ill with a fever, he was exhausted ... And, most importantly, he finally saw how pathetic his horse was, how miserable his armor was, and how little he looked like a knight.

Three days before his death, he told others:

I see that everything I did was aimless... I was haunted by a ghost and served as a laughing stock. Now I'm just a poor Spanish hidalgo Kejano.

Sancho, well received by his family (after all, he brought them a lot of gold - a gift from the duke), weeps at the bedside of the dying master:

Live, live... Forget about your failures... Throw them all on me...

Before his death, the former knight made a will, where he refused all his estate to his niece on the condition that she not marry a knight-errant. He died quietly - as if asleep.

On his grave there is an epitaph composed by Samson Carrasco: "He surprised the world with his madness, but he died like a wise man."

PART ONE Chapter I. In a certain village of La Mancha lived a hidalgo. All his property consisted of a family spear, an ancient shield, a skinny horse and a greyhound dog. His age was approaching fifty; he was strong, lean in body, thin in face. His name was either Kehana or Quesada, it is not known exactly, however, this does not matter. With him were a niece, who was not even twenty, a housekeeper and a servant for household chores.

This hidalgo spent days on end - the benefit of his leisure lasted almost the whole year - reading chivalric novels. His obsession with these books went so far that he sold several acres of his arable land in order to acquire them. As a result, the mind of our hidalgo became completely upset and he decided "both for his own glory and for the good of the fatherland" to become a knight-errant - to mount a horse and, with weapons in his hands, go in search of adventure. So did the heroes of chivalric novels, who were engaged in eradicating all kinds of untruth and injustice.

First of all, he polished the armor that belonged to his ancestors. True, there was no visor among them, and I had to make it out of cardboard, placing iron plates inside. Having examined his old horse, our hidalgo came to the conclusion that he must give her a new name - loud and glorious. On reflection, he finally settled on Rocinante. So shockingly, as it seemed to him, having named his horse, he began to look for a noble name for himself. After spending a week searching, he called himself Don Quixote of La Mancha, in order to immediately make it clear what region he was from. Now it was up to the small thing - to find a lady with whom he could fall in love, for a knight-errant without a lady is like a tree without fruits and leaves. Thinking about it, he remembered that a very pretty person lived in the nearest village. Her name was Aldonsa Lorenzo, and once the hidalgo was even in love with her, which, of course, she did not suspect. It was this village girl that the hidalgo chose as the lady of his heart and named her Dulcinea of ​​Toboso, since the girl was from Toboso.

Dressed in armor, on one of the hot July days, Don Quixote, without saying anything to anyone, set off. As soon as he left the gate, he remembered that he had not yet been knighted, which means that he could not engage in battle with a single knight. This thought almost made him turn back, but then he decided that he would turn to the first person he met with a request for initiation. After driving all day, he got tired and went to the inn, which he mistook for a knight's castle. The outlandish outfit of the hidalgo, his strange manner of expressing himself in high-flown language, not so much frightened as made everyone laugh. It is not known how it would have ended if the owner of the inn had not arrived in time - a good-natured fat man, whom our knight stubbornly called the commandant of the fortress. The owner fed and watered Don Quixote, although it turned out to be a difficult task: he would never agree to take off his helmet and had to drink it with a straw.

Haunted by this thought, Don Quixote called his host, fell on his knees before him and said:

"Valiant knight! I will not move until your courtesy deigns to fulfill my request - the fulfillment of what I ask will cover you with unfading glory, and will also benefit the entire human race.

Seeing that the guest knelt before him and hearing such marvelous speeches, the host was taken aback. But, being a pretty rogue and guessing that the guest was out of his mind, he decided to agree to his request. Then he asked if Don Quixote had money. However, he did not read about money in any chivalric novel and did not take it with him. Then the owner explained to him that although such simple and necessary things as, for example, money or clean shirts, are not mentioned in chivalric novels, this does not mean at all that the knights did not have either. On the contrary, he knows for certain that the purses of the knights-errant were stuffed just in case. Before being knighted, Don Quixote decided to spend the night vigil over the weapon, which he laid out on a trough with water for drinking. At night, one of the muleteers took it into his head to give his animals water to drink. He unceremoniously removed the armor of our knight, for which he received such a blow from him with a spear that he fell unconscious. Following him, the second driver suffered the same fate. The guests, comrades of the wounded drivers, who fled to the noise, began to shower Don Quixote with a hail of stones.

The owner was tired of the antics of a crazy guest and, in order to put an end to them and get rid of the restless guest as soon as possible, he decided to knight him as soon as possible. He assured Don Quixote that the rite of passage consisted of a slap on the back of the head and a blow on the back with a sword, which he did with the greatest dexterity. After all these hitherto unseen ceremonies were completed, the host, overjoyed that he got rid of the newly-made knight, delivered a pompous speech and, taking nothing from Don Quixote for the night, let him go in peace.

He hurried to follow the instructions of the owner and return home to stock up on everything necessary, and most importantly, shirts and money. As his squire, he decided to take his fellow villager - a farmer, a poor man with many children. Before he had time to drive off, he heard someone's groans and saw that a hefty villager was mercilessly whipping a shepherd boy. The knight immediately stood up for the shepherd boy, who complained to him that the villager had not paid him a salary for nine months. Don Quixote ordered the owner of the shepherd boy to fork out, otherwise he would deal with him on the spot. The frightened villager promised not to offend the boy and to pay everything he owed - let only Andreas (that was the name of the shepherd boy) go with him for the money.

“I want to go with him? - exclaimed the boy. - No, señor, the bottom of the world. If I stay alone with him, then he will skin me, like from St. Bartholomew or someone else.

To this Don Quixote replied that he would force the villager to swear by the knightly order to which he belongs, and this would guarantee that the boy would be paid in full.

Enraptured by his beneficence, Don Quixote rode on, and as soon as he was out of sight on his Rocinante, the villager turned to Andreas: “Come here, son! Now I will fulfill the command of this intercessor of the offended and pay your debt. With these words, he thrashed the boy so much that he was barely alive. Meanwhile, the valiant Don Quixote, happy at such a successful beginning of chivalrous exploits, was approaching the place where four roads crossed. Imitating the heroes of chivalric novels, he stood in thought at the crossroads and only after that continued on his way. Don Quixote had already traveled about two miles when he met merchants on their way to Murcia for silk. Seeing them, our knight immediately realized that a new adventure awaited him, and decided to act as knights do in novels. Stretching out in the stirrup and clutching a spear in his hand, he blocked the merchants' way and demanded that they recognize Dul-blue Tobosskaya as the most beautiful lady in the world.