Fear of doing something wrong. The biggest mistake is the fear of making a mistake

Since childhood, the fear of failure accompanies us everywhere. As a child, a child expects to be praised for something, and if he does not receive praise, he believes that he has failed. The same thing happens in adult life.

Description of the pathology

Fear of failure is indeed most often born in childhood, and as a person grows up, the fear of doing something wrong remains, and the person does not know how to overcome it.

It is not always possible to receive a positive assessment of your work or actions. Sometimes you have to listen to criticism and fail. A confident and developed person copes with criticism and failures quickly enough.

Others only increase the fear of failure, trying to avoid such actions in the future. It turns out the following: having experienced failure in some matter, in order to overcome his fear, a person no longer takes up this matter. It comes to the point that making coffee for him is a serious task, in which the main thing is not to fail. That is, there is a complete isolation of a person from society and a pathological fear of failure.

Fear of mistakes is scientifically called atychiphobia. This is one of the most common phobias in the modern world. In psychology, it is customary to classify the fear of making a mistake as a social class of fears, since the fear of making a mistake is born and modified under the influence of society.

A person who is overcome by the fear of making a mistake may completely give up trying to do anything, since he will consider it unsuccessful in advance. In turn, a person who is afraid of making mistakes will gradually fall down the social ladder, since self-improvement and career growth scare her.

Causes of atychiphobia

Fear of embarrassment can be caused by completely different reasons. The predominant reason remains the person’s existing negative experience. Because of the fear of failure, a person projects the experience of one incident onto all of his possible experiences.

Some people experience that kind of fear of failure that they don’t even want to think about the possibility of trying something and starting something. This stereotypical form of thinking, as it seems to a person, protects him from mistakes. In fact, she prevents any movement in his life.

Fears of failure can also arise when an activity is assessed only by its effectiveness, without taking into account a person’s own rhythms and qualities. As a result of such a one-sided assessment, a specific label is assigned to the activity - failed or achieved success. There is nothing in between these two labels.

The reasons why people are afraid to do any activity can be:

• Connection with childhood fear, when in childhood the child was severely punished for any mistakes.
• The inability to make mistakes in a group, ridicule of any mistake - most often the inability to overcome fear arises in a group of teenagers, at school or college.
• Many fears are also driven by social fears imposed by the environment - a person begins to fear that if he is worse than others, he will be rejected.

Manifestations of Fear

Atychiphobia is expressed in quite a few different ways. What is characteristic of fear in this pathology can be described as follows:

• Self-isolation - a person is afraid to participate in any events, especially public ones, closing himself in his comfort zone.
• Self-sabotage - fearing that he will do something wrong, a person subconsciously undermines his strength and efforts.
• Immobility - in order not to do something wrong, a person decides to do absolutely nothing and not strive for anything.
• Lack of self-confidence - fearing to make a mistake, a person assures himself that all the things he has done and the knowledge he has acquired are worthless.
• Perfectionism is the desire to be the best in everything and always hold a leadership position, the desire to work only in the area in which a person is completely confident.

Physical symptoms of the disease

Fear of failure is not just a mental manifestation. This pathology is also characterized by a number of physical conditions of a person. There is a rapid heartbeat, for example, when a person seems to be approaching the collapse of his affairs. Possible heart pain.

Due to panic fear, it is difficult to breathe, there is a burning sensation in the chest, shortness of breath, nausea and muscle spasms. Diarrhea is possible. Sometimes nervous excitability increases, while in some, on the contrary, stiffness and closedness are possible.

There is increased sweating, chills, and a feeling of heat or cold. In some cases, hallucinations are possible, more often auditory.

How to get rid of a phobia

This fear significantly reduces a person’s quality of life, interferes with his self-development and professional activities, personal life and networking. Therefore, assistance in advanced cases should be provided by a specialist.

• Don't be afraid to remember the moments when fear first appeared. It is necessary to analyze the reasons why this or that business did not take place. Even if the cause was inattention or another personal factor, you should not take too much responsibility on yourself.
• The cause of the pathology may be constant ignorance or unknown. To avoid this, you should have a solid theoretical basis before starting any business. Then possible risks will be significantly reduced.
• Learn to refuse if you feel that you cannot cope with any task. Don't take risks unless they are justified.
• Soberly assess the losses that are possible if the task assigned to you is not completed. Missed opportunities sometimes become much greater losses than the feeling of fear.
• Always have a backup plan. This way you will have a safety net that if things go wrong, you will be able to change it. For example, enlist the help of a friend or colleague.
• Be more decisive, any delay will only increase fear. Create a situation in which you cannot retreat.
• Finally, believe that failures happen to absolutely everyone. But the most rational thing is to use them as a springboard for further start and improvement of yourself.

Psychologists use methods of analysis and self-analysis to treat such fear, providing the patient with a thorough examination of the reasons why he considers any enterprise a failure.

Conclusion

Fear of failure is quite common, but overcoming it does not require as much effort as it seems. If you conduct deep introspection and come to terms with the idea that no one can be perfect, the problems of fear and mistakes will fade into the background. If independent struggle is not successful, do not hesitate to contact a specialist. Otherwise, the phobia can develop into serious mental disorders and depression.

There are many well-known expressions dedicated to the fear of mistakes. From them you can learn that it is human nature to make mistakes, and that only those who do nothing make no mistakes. However, in each specific case the reasons for this fear may be different. There are essentially only two main motives. The first of them is related to society, and the second is related to the person himself.

External causes of fears

Many people hesitate to do anything serious, not so much because they are afraid of failure, but because of the fear of social condemnation or censure. Often, such anti-motivation is a consequence of a hidden inferiority complex: a person is so dependent on public evaluation that he loses the ability to make decisions independently.

This phenomenon often occurs in cases where a child was raised by too strict parents who punished him for the slightest offenses. The result of such upbringing can be a lack of one’s own will and a paralyzing fear of condemnation and ridicule if one fails. As a rule, such people spend their entire lives struggling with an imposed inferiority complex, not always recognizing its presence.

Sometimes people tend to mask their usual laziness and reluctance to make decisions through fear of mistakes.

Fear can grow from within

Internal reasons that cause fear of defeat are most often banal responsibility and a subconscious attitude towards defeat. Basically, responsibility of any kind is avoided by people with an infantile character who do not want to accept “adult” rules. And the mindset of defeat, which significantly reduces the likelihood of success, is a consequence of a pessimistic outlook on life and a biased assessment of one’s abilities.

Naturally, a person who is confident of failure is likely to make a mistake, and several such failures in a row will lead him to the idea that it would be best to give up trying to do something in order not to experience disappointment.

Overcoming fear and learning to learn from your mistakes is an important step towards personal development.

In addition, the fear of mistakes is characteristic of perfectionists, that is, people who persistently strive for perfection in any area. They place such high demands on themselves and the results of their actions that it is impossible to achieve them accurately. As a result, perfectionists enter the game only if they are one hundred percent sure of success, and the fear of error holds them back from other actions.

The fear of making a mistake can prevent you from achieving some life goals. Sometimes a person fears failure and therefore does not change certain circumstances. Get rid of the fear of making mistakes and feel freer.

If the fear of mistakes is holding you back from taking decisive action, building a stunning career, improving your personal life, and creating the new reality of your dreams, it’s time to change the situation. Before you start working on yourself, think about what exactly makes you afraid of failure. Maybe you don't want to be disappointed in yourself and lose faith in your own abilities. Then you need to gain higher self-esteem and stop being too critical of yourself. Otherwise, self-criticism and an excellent student complex will lead you into a permanent state of mental discomfort.

Perhaps you are afraid of making a mistake and being in a stupid position in the eyes of other people. In this case, it is worth reconsidering your attitude to the assessment of others. Believe me, they pay much less attention to your mistakes than you think. In addition, you need to realize why other individuals' assessment of your actions and words is so important to you. Perhaps it's a matter of lack of self-confidence. Stop valuing other people's opinions so highly and don't think about what people will say.

To stop being afraid of making a mistake, think about what consequences await you if you fail. Determine whether the circumstances resulting from a wrong step are as terrible as you think. Imagine that you have committed an incorrect action, and figure out how you can correct the situation. Perhaps this mental exercise will help you understand that the situation is not critical, and you can cope with it, no matter how circumstances turn out.

If you cannot decide to take some action because you are afraid of the possibility of a mistake, once again evaluate those prospects that are floating away from you due to indecision. Imagine how your life will change if the result is positive. Perhaps this will make you take risks, forgetting about the possibility of failure.

Stop demanding from yourself ideal actions and exclusively correct actions. Remember that everyone has the right to make mistakes, and so do you. You probably don’t evaluate those around you as strictly as you do yourself. Maybe it's time to show mercy towards yourself and let life develop according to its own scenario, with all its flaws and twists.

Don't exaggerate the importance of your own mistakes. Some people literally panic when they make the wrong move. Don't be like them, remain objective. This will help you treat the possibility of error appropriately and not attach too much importance to small flaws.

Many of us don't worry too much about making a decision. For example, what dress to wear, what time to leave the house, what resort to go to. The lack of concern is due to the fact that the decision is not of serious importance. It’s more difficult when we understand that if we make the wrong decision, we will lose a lot. How to deal with this?

1. Imagine what will happen in the worst case.

It is necessary to understand what will happen if what you want does not happen. Perhaps not everything is as bad as it seems at first glance and the loss will turn out to be insignificant.

2. Find alternative solutions to the problem.

Another solution to the problem is to find alternate routes. Thus, we know in advance how to cope with difficulties and calmly move forward.

3. Stop being too demanding of yourself.

You need to understand that everyone can make mistakes and you shouldn’t demand too much from yourself. High expectations lead to anxiety and fear. Such character traits are formed in childhood, when we believe that achieving high success guarantees prestige and high status in society.

Example:

I'm afraid to look for a new job.

What will happen in the worst case? “I won’t like it, but no one chained me.”

What alternative options are there to solve the problem? - Look for suitable options in your free time, stock up on additional hobbies that will generate income.

What character traits lead to this problem? - The desire to look successful in the eyes of others and the opinion that they won’t be proud of you otherwise.

Under the guise of fear of failure, numerous other fears, small and large, can be hidden. Certain character traits, life experiences, parenting style, personal attitudes, traumatic events - all this also often fuels the fear of failure. Among the variety of reasons, the most common ones can be identified. What are they?

Fear of making mistakes. As a rule, such fear can come to a person from childhood. Once he took a risk, took some step, and the consequences were unexpected. Parents or someone close to us were extremely dissatisfied. As a result, already in adulthood a person is afraid to do anything, already setting himself up for mistakes and failure.

Negative personal experience. This moment flows smoothly from the fear of making mistakes. Any traumatic situation in the past, the negative experience received, had an excessive impact on the person. People who tend to take everything to heart and experience any event extremely emotionally tend to be more likely to experience fear of failure.

Tendency to perfectionism. Perfectionists adhere to a line of behavior in which they either do everything perfectly or don’t do it at all. Often, perfectionism coexists with procrastination, with laziness and is closely related to the fear of mistakes and unfortunate consequences from any business or action.

Personal Settings. A person can cultivate negative markers in his mind on his own. Or they are formed due to third-party intervention. So, for example, if in childhood parents constantly insisted that nothing good would come of the child’s idea, the attitude appears: “it’s better not to take risks, it’s better not to do it.” Against this background, immediate fear begins to develop, often completely unfounded.

Low self-esteem. People who do not value themselves are prone to self-blame and self-flagellation. They have painfully low self-esteem and try to avoid situations where they need to decide on something serious (or not so serious). They have too much confidence that they are good for nothing. Again, low self-esteem can be the result of personal attitudes, a consequence of toxic/wrong upbringing, and so on.

Reluctance to leave your comfort zone. When a person lives a measured, quiet and calm life, at some point he loses all ability to do anything, somehow develop, strive somewhere. He becomes so comfortable in his cocoon that he doesn’t want to change anything. Stepping outside of your comfort zone creates an excessive fear of failure, which ultimately leads to staying stagnant. He stomps around, lives without sparkle and interest, but he is comfortable and there is no reason for any worries.

Certain character traits. Timidity and indecisiveness, increased conformity, lack of desire for risk, self-absorption, separation from the world around us, a tendency towards fantasy and illusoryness, hypochondria and suspiciousness - all this can lie behind the mask of fear of failure.

Lack of vitality. If a person is faced with a serious task, but he does not feel either internal motivation or sufficient strength to implement the task, then he will most likely abandon his idea.

Concentration on the opinions of others. There are people who are insanely dependent on what others say or think about them. The fear of failure in this case is reinforced by the idea that if a person fails, everyone will laugh at him, that they will begin to condemn him or even despise him. Such people, for whom - in addition - it can be extremely difficult to make decisions, to make choices, are constantly in tension, look around at everyone around them and on their own, voluntarily fertilize the soil for the cultivation of various fears, worries and anxieties. The same reason for the fear of failure also centers on the idea that, under an unfavorable combination of circumstances, a person in the eyes of other people will suddenly suddenly cease to be good, worthy, correct, successful, attractive. As a rule, all such fears have no real justification. But for a person with increased anxiety and similar views, it is almost impossible to realize this.

Benefit from fear of failure. There are also individuals who receive some benefit by nurturing their inner fear. What could it be? For example, in the fact that at some point they will no longer place hopes on such a person and give him any responsibility. Such a person, hiding behind fears and fears, can make his life easier to some extent by not doing something that he really doesn’t want to do. The benefit from the fear of failure in each individual case is unique, much depends on the character of the person and his outlook on life.

We all think about the future, try to understand and determine it, as if we are looking into a real otherworldly window with anxiety and hope. We live with a hidden question on our lips: “What’s next? Does my path lead to success? Nobody knows the answer, but everyone hopes and believes. These are our mental supports - expectations and anticipations, personal internal dances with a tambourine over the cup of fate. And whenever the “signs” converge, a “sign” happens, and the mind is filled with predictions. Here is a person who wins something, flashes in public, does everything without a hitch - and there is joy in his soul, his mind imagines a successful, bright future. But if you make a mistake, stumble, or lose, the signs depict future failure with the same realism.

Apparently we simply don’t know how to live without a future, we don’t know how to understand that we don’t know it at all. And therefore, in order to protect themselves from the frightening unknown, they are trained in the “magical” art of predicting their fate using signs that we catch everywhere and fit them into the pattern of the future.

Even gloomy predictions about future failure are much easier for us to accept than the total uncertainty of the next moment. Therefore, we cover up the unpredictability of tomorrow with forecasts that we believe in from the bottom of our hearts. Almost everyone has in their head an armada of criteria by which the mind determines which picture of the future life it should stage for itself.

The process of fortune telling is carried out with the help of a virtual idol - with which the mind compares its life. If the comparison is not in favor of life, then the predictions are gloomy. The mind calls such discrepancies with the idol mistakes and failures.

We do not know ourselves or our future, we are not confident in ourselves, but we are one hundred percent sure of the criteria of some abstract “correctness” that must be met. “It is necessary,” otherwise the signs will develop in such a sequence that the mind will again believe in a dark future. And he believes strongly, unconditionally and “sacredly.”

Therefore, even logically understanding the irrationality of this faith, we still anticipate the pain of unjustified hopes - and we are afraid. Therefore, we try to choose and justify such a sequence of actions that protects us from “mistakes” - one of the most terrible “signs”. Otherwise, the built-in movie theater in your mind will show a horror movie again.

We are afraid of mistakes because we secretly know what we will believe after they are made, when the mind creates its next tragic masterpiece “about itself and life.”

Therefore, in order not to feel like an ordinary layman, not to learn and not to make mistakes, no one is in a hurry to get out of. There you can calmly, to your delight, play the role of a tired kitchen thinker who has experienced life. The main thing is not to stick your head out. And then the comfort “for some reason” becomes a suffocating prison of one’s own fears.

This happens when the sphere of what is desired seems closed and alien, because there are no approving invitations coming from there. The mind that professes faith in the “right” knows: if you fail, you will find yourself an absurd and ridiculous loser, they will point fingers and mockingly condemn, they say, “Where are you going, you nonentity?”

Fear of mistakes kills desires and deprives one of strength, leading to depressive apathy. This syndrome of learned helplessness called “Nothing will work out anyway” is a dramatic creativity with which the mind plays out on itself.

We are unjustifiably very afraid of mistakes and failures, because they include idle turns of mental slippage in ideas about our own fallibility and failure. Successes and mistakes are the very signs by which a mind trained in neuroses determines its destiny. He seems to whisper to himself: “Only losers make mistakes.”

Here I want to emphasize once again that we do not know our future. Quite quite. We are just guessing. And we accept some of our forecasts, whose signs converge smoothly, as the truth, which is embodied in our hope and hopelessness.

While self-esteem and the picture of the future depend on individual successes and mistakes, they fluctuate like a stock market trend in a crisis economy. And even when the ego swells to gigantic proportions from success, it is still scary to act, because every step threatens failure, implying a personal end of the world.

But, if you put aside superstitions and look at what is happening impartially, it is quite easy to understand that there is no development in life without mistakes. We call them failures, give up, and fear them as if they were a curse, when in fact it is mistakes that yield the richest fruits of personal development on the path of life. Making mistakes is not only normal, but as natural as anything in nature.

The most valuable experience comes not from lifeless theories, but from real practice. Mistakes are the very real experience that, with all the clearest clarity, directly indicates what exactly here and now it is advisable to pay more attention to in order to act more effectively. Mistakes are a worthy price to pay for the lesson they teach.

And if somehow it were possible to ignore feelings, then the personal damage from the overwhelming majority of “mistakes” would tend to zero. All our problems, in essence, come down to how we live them, what pictures the mind draws, admiring and horrified by its own creations. Therefore, what we call mistakes are pure conventions - the difference between reality and a fictitious ideal.

Even one’s own death can be called a mistake very conditionally. Personal, judging by rumors, is inevitable for everyone. Everything in nature is transitory. Otherwise, the flight of falling autumn leaves would have to be called the Fall.

And in everyday mistakes there is no final defeat, there is only continuous learning, which is impossible without mistakes. All miscalculations and failures are not a sign of dense stupidity and not a symptom of ultimate failure, but a natural consequence of gaining new experience in a specific narrow field.

Essentially, mistakes mean that the task turned out to be more difficult than initially expected, and therefore the miscalculations made are natural and allow us to consider the situation more deeply and realistically.

And if you look at life more broadly, then a significant part of those very personal miscalculations turn into success. In this sense, the greatest mistakes are demanding from oneself impeccable infallibility and avoiding development for fear of making mistakes.

We can think about the future, anticipating the implementation of plans. But even repeated miscalculations and failures are not a reason to give up and fall down, but only a reason to accumulate the experience gained.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes!

“Easy to say, but difficult to do,” an incredulous reader will say, and he will be right in some ways.

But no matter, today we will finally learn how to get rid of the fear of mistakes. The technique proposed in this article will help you, dear visitors of Healthy Lifestyle, to reconsider your internal attitudes and, thanks to this, react more consciously to mistakes.

Probably inside each of us, even if very deep in our souls, sits a brave adventurer who knows his true purpose.

A scientist or a businessman, a writer or an artist, a programmer or a designer - it’s not so important what our soul lies in. What's more important is what each of us can find.

Unfortunately, it is the fear of making a mistake that often prevents us from fully expressing ourselves. Because of this, many of our dreams are at risk of remaining dreams.

• We are afraid of doing something wrong.
• We are afraid that we can spend a lot of time and achieve nothing.
• We are afraid to leave our usual comfort zone.
• We are afraid of appearing funny to others.
• We are afraid to do less than ideal actions and make less than perfect decisions.
• We have already made mistakes before, so we are afraid of repetition.

One way or another, the fear of making a mistake always orders you to retreat.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes!

Remember that each event is neutral in itself.

It is we who give it a positive or negative connotation with our attitude.

In other words, It’s up to us how we perceive what happened to us.

Each error is:

1) Experience.
2) The ability to draw conclusions and act correctly in the future.

By making mistakes, we in any case get closer to the goal.

The inventor of the light bulb, Thomas Edison, created the light bulb after 1,000 failed attempts. He was wrong 1000 times! But he did not consider these attempts unsuccessful. Edison said that he found 1000 ways to make a light bulb.

Friends, it is worth realizing one simple thing: a failed attempt is not the end of life, it is part of the movement towards the goal.

The famous basketball player Michael Jordan made 9,000 unsuccessful shots, lost 300 matches and “messed up” the game 26 times, not living up to the expectations placed on him.

If a person is afraid of making mistakes, then this fear significantly hinders his development.

But when we give up fear about this and allow ourselves to make mistakes, incredible things happen. The number of errors is decreasing! After all, by giving ourselves the right to make mistakes, we thereby... Which, in turn, gives us a more favorable development of events.

And even if we make mistakes, we should perceive them as experience, as part of our path. This is how it really is. A mistake is a great opportunity to learn something and become better.

Of course, there are situations when you cannot make mistakes. Surgery, rocket science, nuclear power plants... There are areas of activity where the cost of error is too high. In such cases, it is necessary to rely on high-quality preparation and careful calculations. Well, you need to move from simple to complex, gaining experience.

The article is devoted to “everyday” mistakes - those mistakes that do not allow us to open up, that prevent us from taking risks and reaching the top. Getting rid of the fear of making such mistakes means giving yourself a chance to truly open up in this life.

Sometimes it happens that with our minds we understand that we can make mistakes. However, out of habit, we screw ourselves up and scold ourselves for mistakes. Such a nagging feeling arises in your soul... In this case, it’s simply wonderful if you have close and understanding people. Tell them how you feel. They will definitely support you. Thanks to these people, you will understand that everything will work out for you. And that any mistake is a great opportunity to improve.

It's normal to be afraid. The main thing is to understand the reason for your fear. Otherwise, you can spend your whole life regretting missed opportunities and unfulfilled plans. But by understanding and neutralizing the fear of making a mistake, we bring ourselves significantly closer to achieving our goals.

Friends, don't be afraid to make mistakes! After all, it is rightly said - learn from mistakes!

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