Modern clerks. Army and chancelleries

The list of the main “warm places” for Soviet conscripts is known to everyone who served. Those who held such positions wore the same uniform as the rest of the military personnel, but were, as it were, outside the army society.

“I was a battalion intelligence officer, and he was a staff clerk...”

“Thieves” positions for conscript soldiers and sergeants in both the Soviet and modern Russian armies are attractive because they allow them to stay at a distance, or even completely separate, from army drill. In the army, in general, any skill from which practical benefit can be derived is valued. Clerks, cooks, privateers, bathhouse attendants and others like them do not go into uniform, do not go to shooting ranges, and are not marched in formation.

Staff clerks, messengers (and most other “thieves”), as a rule, do not spend the night in the barracks - they have their own nook at their place of work so that they can always be at hand with their superiors. Clerks are engaged in drawing up various kinds of schedules, plans, notes, and reports. Always warm, for lunch - in the dining room, and not with everyone else, in formation, but when the clerk himself deigns (or the commander lets him go). In addition, the clerks were much better informed than other soldiers. For a certain bribe, a clerk could, for example, make changes to the list of military personnel who were en masse transferred to one or another unit, where everyone had heard about the strict procedures.

Privateer - army Plyushkin

One of the most “criminal” “intra-company” positions is a privateer. He seems to be always in the barracks and at the same time outside the routine, the rest of the conscripts are subordinate to him. He is in charge of uniforms, boots, linen and every little thing every soldier needs - shoe polish, buttons, towels... The privateer also stores demobilization "parades". For example, it depends on the tailor who will be given what shift before going to the bathhouse (he can also slip in torn underpants without buttons). In his company “holy of holies” - in the captain’s office - “grandfathers” (and the captain himself is most often an old-timer) gather to drink and smoke. Once a week the captain takes the laundry to the laundry. But he doesn’t bother himself, he takes the orderlies who are pulling huge bales, and the army man Plyushkin walks importantly behind him, playing with a bunch of keys.
Often the position of a privateer is sold to a replacement for a certain amount.

Those who are always with food

The Soviet soldier is constantly hungry. Therefore, positions in the kitchen and dining room (bread cutters, cooks) were, by definition, considered “thieves.” The bread cutter and cook always have food and can prepare something tasty for themselves, not for the common pot. No one touches them, and therefore such soldiers practically do not see real army service; it does not concern them. When they are transferred from “spirits” to “ladles,” kitchen workers are “marked” not with a belt, like everyone else, but with a chef’s ladle.

Postman

Another “criminal” position for a conscript soldier - you can go to “civilian” service as much as you like. According to the rules, the postman was entitled to two trips to the city per week. But usually the authorities wrote out a power of attorney to the postman with an undated date - go as much as you want! Any reason could be thought of at the checkpoint: the need to deliver an urgent dispatch or, again, to pick up extremely important commander’s correspondence.

Soldiers' letters thrown into a box near the headquarters, as a rule, were illustrated by a special department of the unit, so the postman was often asked to drop the treasured envelope in the city. And the army postman returned from the city with a bag filled to the top with all sorts of things, including sweets. Sometimes the “grandfathers” instructed the postman to carry the “bubble” from the outside.

Do you see the pigs? And I don't see. And they are

There were many opportunities for getting rid of regular army service in the Soviet troops. For example, a commander could put together a brigade of skilled builders and send it to numerous civilian battles. The income, of course, went into his pocket. The builders, in turn, in addition to being released from service, were given the opportunity to eat relatively well outside the unit and to bring some of the building materials to the side. They always had money.

Among the “thieves” positions in the army are musicians, medical personnel in medical units, club workers (for example, projectionists). There were some soldiers whom no one from the conscription had ever seen during their entire service; they were constantly on business trips. Such “seconded people,” in particular, included the servants of pigsties located far outside the unit - the pigs. The life of pig farmers is partly shown in Roman Kachanov’s film “DMB”.

What is called in the army clerk, as it turns out, the activity is extremely important and necessary both directly for the officers and for the life of this entire system as a whole - a unit, a battalion, a military unit. This need grows out of the not-so-bureaucratic, but still paper-based, reporting mechanism for building interaction in the army. Soldiers and property must be counted regularly, combat notes/reports must be submitted daily, outline notes must be written and manually copied into a special notebook. And everything is in the same spirit. The most interesting thing is that if this, as it should be, is done by the unit commander, then he will not have enough time even for the simplest thing - forming unit commanders with the delivery of up-to-date information. What can we say about the “education of the younger generation” of military personnel entrusted to the company/battalion.

So, by chance, the position - profession - of a clerk is born, which does not officially exist at any level. Depending on the scale on which to consider, a person in this position absorbs various competencies, which is why I believe it is possible to divide such a person as a class into three types - three incarnations of army clerks.

Clerk. Actually, what everyone in the units is familiar with, and when faced with it, all other varieties do not perceive behind the “veil of this image.” The company clerk deals with drill notes, compiling lists of personnel, evening verification, and a list of sick and hospitalized people; draws up reports, monitors the documentation and reporting of the company, and, finally, deals with reports on the dismissal of demobilization and so on. There is enough work there, but sleep - on the contrary. By allowing the input he has developed tricks, he survives due to freedom from work and semi-free access to a semi-private space - an office, where, at the time of ownership of this space and his time, he can do what he needs (and, in addition, what he would like) - even smoke a pipe. In general, a basic bonus that is purchased and is especially valuable in the understanding of people - " opportunity to drink tea [with gingerbread]" (although it is already optional)

Hacker. The second incarnation follows from the higher spheres of flight of the company bird, and it begins, perhaps, only above the battalion headquarters - i.e. at the brigade headquarters (the military unit itself). The gap between such a specialist fighter and his immediate superiors, both in terms of age and friendship with office procedures, a computer, and solving quick-written or quickly typed problems in skills, is very large - you rarely see a captain on the headquarters, usually no lower than a major. Here more computer magic comes into play, putting equipment in order (it is possible that “fixing the kettle”), converting a paper document into electronic form, and so on.

Clerk. Only he can be higher than a hacker (at least according to my perception of my conditional classification). His activities include “hacking” as a given and the fundamental building block - a kind of caretaker of the performance of everything. But besides this, his activities are connected with more serious papers. Less “daily”, but much more long-lasting. First of all, these are orders, the drafts of which must be prepared. Sometimes based on something old, sometimes something new but “in the canon of tradition” of design and language. Prepare - sign - make extracts - register - archive - file in a special folder in the closet - be able to find the date/number/extract when needed. That is, full-fledged work with the document.

There are no ordinary clerks at the brigade headquarters, mostly hackers. Probably, at best, a quarter here can be classified as last class due to the duties they perform. And I'm one of them. At least this is the position of the boss, the realism of which is supported by my vision of the tasks that I solve.

The army is a place where boys are made into men who will faithfully serve their country and will be able to defend its territory in case of danger on its borders. There are many jobs in the military, and each soldier is responsible for his own responsibilities. The distribution of labor employment is very important in this structure. You can serve not only as an ordinary soldier; there are quite good positions without much workload.

Who is a scribe in history

A scribe has always been considered a person who professionally rewrites books and documents by hand. This position has always been present in all cultures and began its development since Ancient Egypt.

Interesting to know! Much later there were military clerks under the atamans. This was a very honorable position, since one of the most educated and intelligent Cossacks was chosen for it.

In the army regiments there was the position of a regimental clerk, as well as a volost clerk, which already leads to our time. At the moment, many believe that a scribe is a lost profession, as printing and computer technology have come to replace it.

What kind of position is a clerk?

It's time to figure it out Who or such a clerk in the army and what does he do? Clerks, also called clerks, are, in most cases, conscript soldiers. Their purpose in this position is to process papers instead of officers. Roughly speaking, such an employee plays a direct role in the relationships between the management team. His responsibilities may include:

• receiving messages from departments;
• organizing reception of guests;
• conducting active telephone conversations;
• deals with calling a soldier on the orders of the commander;
• is obliged to receive and transmit telephone messages;
• is engaged in office work;
• responsible for mail for the boss;
• monitors the completion of cases, forms them himself, and also transfers them to the archive.

Clerical work is a very popular profession in the military, because, as you know, the higher authorities have a lot to do, but not much time. That is why the clerk handles all the paperwork. This position is necessary for commanders, heads of departments, officers, and political officers.

At the moment, a clerk is a secretary, and plays the role of a personal protege in a military environment. An educated person with the closest possible profession is selected for this position. So, the clerk must understand office work, have an understanding of the use of typewriters, be able to use sound recording devices, and have excellent computer skills. The soldier must be literate and know all the rules, navigate the preparation of documents and their correct execution.

Important! His responsibilities also include classified data, which he can maintain independently, archive them and handle them correctly.

You must have at least secondary vocational education, competent writing and speech in order to become a clerk.

As a rule, a person serving in this position must follow clear instructions, because he independently performs all his duties and is responsible for the work done.

He communicates a lot with people, both on the phone and in person. The office is located in a separate room, where it carries out its business and receives visitors. This entire list of professional responsibilities may seem daunting, a lot of responsibility, work with important documents, but in fact everything comes gradually. Of course, they will train you and help you set up the process.

As you know, a person in this position sees little of all the realities of army life; for the most part, he spends his service life at a desk with numerous pieces of paper. And no matter how tempting it may seem, not everyone agrees to devote a huge amount of time to painstaking work.

Advantages and Disadvantages of the Clerk's Role in the Army

A clerk is a freelance position. It has both a number of advantages and a number of disadvantages. The advantage of this type of work is that there are special concessions:

• The authorities are always busy with their own affairs and do not always monitor the soldier’s work process. That is why the clerk is left to himself most of his time, and, naturally, can do what he wants in the absence of his boss;
• you can manage your time as you want. Since clerks are not engaged in military service, as other soldiers do, they may not be present at many events;
• no one will want to come into conflict with the clerk, since he has a fairly high status among the servicemen and has patronage in the form of a manager, and the higher the boss is on the career ladder, the better;
• You can have a good phone with you with Internet access and a high-quality camera. This is necessary to carry out instructions from management, so no one has the right to take the phone;
• It is easy for a person in this position to get a dismissal, especially if the excuse is to purchase office supplies at his own expense. This is not only allowed and liked by management, but actively encouraged;
• allowed to have more personal belongings than an ordinary soldier. There may be various office items on your own bedside table, but no one will check whether they are personal or business-related;
• location to a lot of useful information. That is why a clerk is needed by everyone, who provides benefits in their position. He is always aware of all current events and knows what, where and why, including large-scale events;
• “Clerical officers” are allowed to go about their official business freely, without being in the ranks like everyone else. Only the clerk knows whether these are personal or work-related matters.

The negative aspects of his position include not showing solidarity with his fellow soldiers, since he can “snitch” and does not fulfill all the duties that other soldiers do. Also, sometimes the office worker is very busy and must complete the assigned task even while sitting at his desk until late at night.

Another disadvantage is that all mistakes are more noticeable, and responsibility for misconduct is higher. Moreover, there is no one to blame.

Many managers demand that his task be completed first, but, as it turns out, it’s not only him. Then the conscript soldier experiences task dissonance.

Interesting to know! It is very important to hold on to your place, because if in any situation he is absent from his workplace for a long time, a replacement can be easily found for him.

To summarize, we can conclude that a clerk is a responsible and difficult job, and even despite most of the positive aspects, many do not want to be a clerk for their own objective reasons.

I can’t say that I was lucky to have kind people - there are generally much more of them than there are evil ones, harmed by envy, deceit or stupidity. And yet, on my varied and sometimes unexpected path, I often met kindhearted people who helped without selfishness - out of a sense of human kinship, if that is how one can describe a subtle and yet lasting feeling. I will not list the good people already included in my notes - they are noticeable anyway. I'll tell you about those who met me next.

Certificate of stay in the hospital, 1943

When I got to the Leningrad hospital on the Fontanka, a blond young woman was stitching up my wounds, wincing for me in pain - she, a kind soul, then walked around the ward, casting a sympathetic glance at me every time. She, however, did not stitch up the leg near the knee quite cleanly, and another woman, already black and determined, told me to go to the operating room: “He still has a whole life to live,” she said, and with such a blue scar he will be lame!” - This is the logic of good: there is a war going on, cruel and bloody, who else will survive there is not visible, but he has a firm belief: a person must live and live! And this woman, under local anesthesia, cleaned out the wound on my right knee - now even the scar is not noticeable. It didn’t hurt, there was something scratching - and that’s all, and the operating room door, which I could see, became very small, like looking through binoculars from the back - from nervous tension.

Behind the wall of the ward in which I was placed after the operation, a German shell exploded (the Germans were shelling the city in squares) and scattered noodles from the cauldron on the walls (there was a catering unit there), and showered me with plaster, without damaging anything, as if confirming the forecast of the female surgeon .

"In a hat." Leningrad. Convalescent battalion. January 1944

After the hospital, I ended up in a convalescent battalion on Vasilyevsky Island beyond the Neva. From there they recruited reinforcements to the front - to the “meat grinders” surrounding the city, and while we were doing peaceful things: sawing and chopping wood, one day we went out of town: they brought a car of winter hats, and I chose a shaggy goat one, in which I posed with our photographer (photo preserved).

In the battalion I became friends with Nikolai Alexandrovich (I don’t remember his last name) - a dear native Leningrader - we had long conversations: he told me about the yogis, Madame Blavatsky and Indian miracles; I listened to all this attentively out of respect for him, but did not believe it - he seemed to understand this, but forgave me. Our friendship was supported by a doctor with the terrible surname Trupp, a kind and attentive person who pitied intellectuals who got into military troubles as ordinary soldiers. After the war, Nikolai Alexandrovich passed through Moscow to Ukraine, where, having separated from his wife, he settled, and came to see us two or three times. He was plagued by malicious tuberculosis, and he was treated for it with Indian self-hypnosis; every time he looked worse...

On January 11, 1944, the heavy guns of the ships stationed on the Neva and the coastal defense thundered, deafening, - artillery preparation began, and after it our troops drove the Germans away from Leningrad. “I can’t keep you any longer,” the kind Trupp admitted to me and discharged me with the next team.

We walked through the streets of the city; Women from Leningrad who survived the siege saw us off with sympathetic and sorrowful glances. We were given large American Studebaker trucks and they took us onto the road to Luga. Then they walked on foot in a discordant crowd, without weapons. They said that armed Germans were retreating along parallel country roads. We passed through the ashes of villages burned for supporting the partisans; we also came across untouched villages. In one, we went into a hut to drink water - a frightened young woman shielded her one-year-old baby, and the hostess hastened to inform us that the woman was from Leningrad, and the son was from a German. We did not offend the young woman and left; the whole village, apparently, was prosperous and did not shy away from the Germans, but we had no anger. They said that when our soldiers burst into the city of Pushkin, they shot the girls in a brothel for the Germans - the anger here is understandable, although the girls were hardly to blame for their shame.

In Luga, they warned us, houses and apartments could be mined, and we spent the night in German barracks, walking strictly along paths trodden in the snow so as not to get blown up. They took us further to Slantsy, to the Narva River. And only here they joined the forming regiment.

Experienced soldiers cut down birch trees, piled piles of fires, and they burn well and there is little smoke. I was assigned to be a company clerk (a private with a higher education is a rarity), showed how to register soldiers, sergeants and petty officers (officers are counted separately), draw up an order for food, etc. – it’s not a difficult matter. The regiment was formed - 261 riflemen of the 2nd division of the 2nd Baltic Front, and he, this regiment, was lucky: later I found out that some “top” commander “figured out” how to deceive the Germans - you just need to send them to the rear the regiment across the ice of Lake Peipus and in this way overturn their defenses on the left bank of the Narva River. They decided to send our regiment, but at the last minute they replaced it with another. That regiment on the flat ice was met with general fire and destroyed entirely - only one soldier returned to report the tragic result of tyrant stupidity. In 1968, in Prague, I had to explain to the director of the Czech publishing house Nechasek what a “cult of personality” was, and I told about this incident. Nechasek, who believed in Stalin's genius, was depressed; Then, when he learned about all the atrocities of the Stalinist system, his heart could not stand it and he died. That there is some kind of regiment for the “system”, which, shaking the banner of Suvorov, has turned the well-known Suvorov principle of “not by number, but by skill” into the opposite - “not by skill, but by number”, with countless numbers!..

In March 1944, our regiment fought on a “patch” of the left bank of the Narva and slightly pushed the Germans back; at least their log dugouts went to our commanders. The forward line consisted of miserable pits, somehow covered with logs, and it was surprising that our soldiers lived in these nests for almost six months of defense: our front did not move - the offensive went by - towards Berlin.

My company commander - Senior Lieutenant Sokolov - was a handsome, distinguished guy, as they say, blood and milk, and also lazy. He lay in his dugout and condescendingly accepted the advances of an ugly nurse. She, not wanting to leave him (pregnant women were sent to the rear), poisoned the fetus, walked around green and complained (again, for some reason to me) about her fate. “Go to the rear,” I persuaded, “you will have a handsome son or a beautiful daughter, but here you will be exhausted.” I didn’t agree at all.

Next to our regiment, on the left flank, the penal soldiers held the front, and on the right - the women's battalion. Our commanders ran to the women, and they came to the commanders. It was not very moral, but such is life in war. I felt sorry for these mobilized girls, especially when near the medical battalion I saw them, wounded, on a cart, torn to pieces and laid out haphazardly; they moaned softly. No, war is not for women - they have had enough of the rear with its overtime work and starvation rations for hungry children...

Later, when I was already with the battalion, my captain would sometimes say: “Why are you still sitting, I should go check the front line!” “This meant (his thick-faced and good-natured orderly explained to me) that a not-elderly, stern woman surgeon, who had probably saved more than one soldier, would come to him. And indeed: she approached at a slow pace, and I went to the front line - ran from cell to cell in which the riflemen were sitting. They informed me about everyone along the line - who was alive, who was wounded, who was killed... Of course, I did these rounds regularly. The Germans, respecting the intelligentsia (I have glasses), did not shoot.

And earlier, when the snow had just melted and the ground was exposed, German corpses appeared; they were not buried, only the rear members were undressed, and they, spreading a stench, slowly decayed, turning into skin-covered skeletons. Near a small stream, our paramedics - a married couple of lieutenants (the hot husband tormented his wife with jealousy, I think, was groundless) arranged a soldier's bath: everyone had to take turns washing with brown water, which reeked of a corpse. The jealous man washed the entire battalion - we didn’t have any lice.

There were nationalists in the battalion and there was one ordinary Jew. They treated him kindly, but he, who was terribly afraid of any weapon, was forced to fire a heavy anti-tank rifle, aiming it at a spruce tree. Closing his eyes, he pulled the trigger - the top of a distant spruce tree fell off; the soldiers were happy; The “shooter”, who had received his baptism of fire, was no longer harassed. The Ukrainian Bolkun, our farm supplying the regiment with food and ammunition, suddenly disappeared; showed up two weeks later and returned to his post (he was not held accountable). He had an attack of panic fear, strange for an elderly man and a rear man who did not approach the front line. But such a front-line disease suddenly comes, twists a person and a timid dozen. Sergeant Major Shavlov, with whom we became friends, one day (we were walking to the regiment’s command post) suddenly walked somewhere in the direction where there was a minefield; he walked like a blind man, with his hands outstretched, and it took me an effort to bring him back to consciousness, generally speaking, he was a reasonable man and in control of himself. Fortunately, such blind fear did not come over me.

There was a case of a deliberate “crossbow.” A young clerk boy, either a Tatar boy or a Mordvin, together with an Uzbek guy, decided to stage a game with a machine gun in order to receive not a close-range, self-inflicted wound, but a long-range, “German” wound. The Uzbek took the shovel in his hands and put it down at arm’s length, and the Mordvin “had to hit the shovel” at a decent distance. “Guys, don’t fool around with weapons,” I persuaded them, “the three of us walked to the front line. They didn't listen; a shot rang out and a bullet pierced the Uzbek’s hand - it seems that it was no accident. We returned to the battalion, and I never saw them both again; most likely, they were sent to their neighbors who were being punished (they were shot without leniency for shooting a crossbow at close range).

In general, military life in defense, especially a long one, gradually decomposes. This, however, does not apply to ordinary soldiers lying in the front lines - they, like the flow of a stream, are constantly changing: replacements come to replace the wounded and killed, and any “psychology” in them is suppressed to the level of the necessary: ​​manage to live, that’s all. the time of the guard of the enemy, who is very close guarding you.

My captain, PNSh (assistant chief of staff, second in command after the commander in the battalion), besides dating the captain, loved to sing. He brought songs from Slantsy, where our officers sometimes visited. He sang selflessly, closing his eyes, in a touching, weak voice - he sang for himself, without listeners (I don’t count). “The girl escorted the fighter to the position...” he concluded, and his voice trembled from the fullness of the disturbed feeling. His face looked like a young Leonid Leonov - beautiful eyes, thick lips, bangs over his eyes; but, perhaps, only his face, however, there was nothing vulgar about him.

But now almost six months of standing on the defensive is over. We were taken out of our habitable spot, and we passed by the regiment commander - he stood on a hillock, like Napoleon, with his arms crossed, and from a distance our lieutenant colonel Safonov looked like the French emperor. First, we were brought to a strange site: a winding ditch was dug in the sandy soil, birch trees rose on the parapet - what kind of front line was this? - And again, at the last moment, they canceled the order and took the regiment back to the field - they turned to the north, near the city of Narva. Before reaching the city, we turned left to the ravines, to a clearing, behind which in the high forest one could see a strange hut - built from the shingles that we use to cover our roofs (the Germans built such a box for their bosses). The lieutenant colonel and his staff were stationed in the “box,” and we were thrown into battle among young birch and aspen trees.

The attack of our soldiers soon fizzled out: the Germans and Estonians resisted desperately. They sent a company of boys who had just been drafted into the army to help us; they scattered through the forest, once again proving the stupidity of the commanders (they should have, of course, been mixed with experienced soldiers). The people of our battalion were entrenched in cells, the commanders were in covered pits closer to the regiment's command post. To our battalion commander - a young captain - in his sandy pit, slightly covered with sticks and branches, a commanding voice shouted something over the phone - the battalion commander answered that there was no possibility of attacking, and then he was called to headquarters, and he did not return - it is necessary understand, was removed and demoted.

The offensive was led by political officer Captain Rozhkov, a simple and kind man (I remember his broad, “woman’s” face with pockmarks well). The captain was torn to pieces by a mine, more people died, and he had to retreat back. The machine gun crew of Lieutenant Sapezhinsky moved forward, and the machine gunners fired back at the advancing Germans for three days until ours approached. I came to these guys in their holes among the aspen trees and asked how it turned out for them; nothing special, they say: they arranged the Krauts around them in order, turned around, didn’t get confused - that’s all. Sapezhinsky, a young guy with a round, freckled face, was even somehow embarrassed that they had succeeded so successfully, without any losses. After the battle, we presented him with the Order of the Red Banner; I don’t know whether he received it, and – most importantly – whether he remained alive.

A day later, my captain, together with the captain from another battalion Kuznetsov (they said he was a coward) and the telephone operator Zina, with black hair and black eyebrows, occupied the pit of the departed battalion commander. I sat in an open pit next to them, talking with a strange soldier who ended up in our battalion. He was a tall guy, thoroughbred, an intellectual to the core, brought up in England (his father was some kind of representative of our country); During the conversation, more than once I asked him to sit in the pit with me - who knows? He frivolously refused and remained on its edge, dangling his legs down.

Suddenly there was a loud crack of an exploding mine nearby. She flew into the pit with the captains and the telephone operator, a fragment pierced the sand and buzzed past my left ear and blew off the left ear of the stubborn intellectual sitting opposite him - along with his blood, a gray mass of brain appeared. He kicked me, and I shouted to him: alive! alive! - although it was clear that his case was rubbish. An orderly came up and took him to the medical battalion. I know that I did it, and then the trail disappeared.

Meanwhile, the battalion Komsomol organizer approached and ordered me to inspect the cell with the captains. Both of them and the telephone operator (she screamed desperately when the mine exploded) were killed. I unfastened the field bags and tablets from the captains, took the thick account book of the rank and file and crawled out of the terrible place. The Komsomol organizer, who was having a simple front-line “love” with the girl telephone operator, did not even look at her. And the girl was a good girl, a fighter, from an orphanage; she told me about her orphanage adventures, decorating them with her desperate courage.

“Listen, soldier,” the Komsomol organizer turned to me, “lie down in the gap, now the German will repeat the shelling. Probably the Estonian “cuckoo” is guiding him, such precision.” “We lay down in narrow crevices near the pit with the dead. And immediately a light mine exploded between us in the garden bed, showering us with sand but not touching us with fragments. We jumped up, laughing nervously. The Komsomol organizer ordered me to deliver the documents to the regimental headquarters. I handed over the captain's bags and tablets at headquarters, and I was ordered to take the thick book to the regiment's accounting department. There I was assigned by Sergeant Major Shavlov, who was in charge of the awards department, and I reported on Sapezhinsky’s feat.

Before the war, Shavlov was an agronomist in the Arkhangelsk region. An elderly and seasoned man, he took care of me in a rude and welcoming manner. He looked respectable. The face was stern at first glance; With widely spaced black pupils, he looked intently and demandingly, the thick lips of his large mouth formed contemptuously - with such a face he was accustomed to greeting the authorities who prevented the agronomist from doing his job. “You think so and so,” was the outline of his conversation. - Stupid! - and then a tirade followed about how one should think smartly. It was easy for me to draw Shavlov’s peculiar face, and he sent the drawing home.

After an unsuccessful offensive near Narva, our regiment was transferred to Rezekne, and from there we went on our own with minor skirmishes to Riga. There was a serious battle near Madonna, after which we walked forward at random; the Germans retreated in a line in front of us, and we did not shoot at them, but they did not shoot at us. On some farm, our “Slavs” (a word of semi-contemptuous self-irony of the soldiers) destroyed an apiary to the horror of the owners. On another, they walked past women picking carrots from a field with their hands, and next to them stood a plump girl in a Boston suit - it turned out to be a landowner. Having taken another farm, the soldiers plundered the German warehouse of grain and ate it; the bread was made from sawdust, my stomach ached, and only then did the doctors warn that it was dangerous to overeat on this bread. There were warm, clear lakes; the lads swam, washing off the camp dust. I asked Latvians when they lived better - under the Germans or under us; they answered - under Ulmanis, their president until 1940.

This hiking kaleidoscope was stopped after crossing the Daugau (Western Dvina). The Germans fortified themselves behind a small river, although before that our “Katyushas” destroyed a lot of them - we passed by charred corpses (a “Katyusha” mine burns everything around it for two hundred meters). Two Germans ran over to us - skinny, covered with stubble, not at all warlike in appearance, one short, the other long. I asked their professions, but did not understand the answers; Finally, we collectively guessed that one was a plumber, the other a fitter. They were sent to the rear.

We stood still for several days, and then the offensive continued. Shavlov and I followed in his footsteps. Having risen to the other bank of the river, we saw four light tanks on the road; they were burning, glowing red-hot below, turning black on top - it was creepy to look at them, even more creepy to imagine that maybe the tankers were burning inside - or did they manage to jump out? The tanks' guns are facing forward, towards the Germans, which means they are ours. And from that corner of the forest,” Shavlov guessed, “a German cannon was shooting at them,” and he began to honor the carelessness of our commanders, without, however, offending Lieutenant Colonel Safonov (he respected him).

We moved on, and then I discovered that a magazine with cartridges had fallen out of my PPS, and I did not have a spare one. It turns out I had enough of carelessness. Where were we going together with his only pistol? Here is a flat, two-row Latvian village, but it is all burned down to the ground - there are no Russian stoves that stick out in the fire. The burnt-out earth was still smoldering and smoking, and we turned back. Evening is coming, we need to spend the night somewhere. We came across a cellar - there are such spacious cellars in Latvia, enough for an entire vegetable store - a hundred or two people would go in there. But who's in it? Ours or the Germans? There is no sentry - the carelessness is terrifying - that means it’s ours. But still, we did not go down into the cellar - a couple of German grenades were enough to lie in this trap.

We returned, approached a forest island, saw a stack of straw - here was our place to stay for the night. But the sensible foreman went to the neighboring artillerymen and asked permission for us to spend the night near them, so that they would not inadvertently shoot us, mistaking us for spies. The next morning we came across Lieutenant Colonel Safonov, standing next to the regimental banner among a thin group of staff officers - he was collecting the scattered regiment.

We were turned southwest, towards Siauliai. At some rest stop, Safonov presented orders and medals, including to me “For Courage” - for the “rescue of headquarters documents” that I told about. I did not exchange the certificate with his signature for an official document, and the officer who issued me the order of the already distant Patriotic War reacted with approval to my desire to keep the commander’s signature for myself.

The situation became more and more tense, scouts began to frequent us - cheerful, cheerful guys, kind and generous - this is what makes good people the mortal danger that threatens them every day. They became friends with me out of purely human self-interest - I drew their portraits, and they sent the drawings to their mothers. They didn’t forget me either - they gave me a Hungarian eternal pen with a wonderful, soft and fine writing nib. I didn’t write out award lists for long with this feather; one of my superiors tricked me into taking it away, and again I creaked with my school pen. Of course, a pen is a trifle, but human kindness and petty meanness are not a trifle...

At one line, our long-range artillery hammered the German front line. It was visible how a wall of earth and smoke rose on the horizon, and there was nowhere to save us from the deafening roar of guns, and conversation, even with a shout, was simply inaudible. I remembered the Leningrad cannonade.

The regiment approached Siauliai fairly battered; a rumor leaked that everyone, from commanders to riders, would be put “in the gun” in the upcoming military offensive.

And yet, the soldiers habitually settled down in the pine forest, pitched tents, and equipped dugouts. We, the regimental clerks, also set up a tent, and had just sat down at the table to rest, when there was an explosion, followed by a crash, and a large mast pine tree fell on us - it hit me on the right shoulder with its trunk, I slid under the table, it lay down on table and stopped. I have never experienced greater pain in my life, either before or since: my lungs, all my insides sank to my throat, my breathing was constricted, and I did not immediately catch my breath. Thanks to the table - it stopped the log; if it weren’t for it, my back would have been broken. My comrades only had their faces scratched by branches - they got off lightly.

Still, I did not lose consciousness, I asked to collect my things. And then they drove me in a light rain on a cart, loaded me into a shuttle on the wing of a U-2 plane, which was dangling desperately in the air, but took me to Jelgava, to the hospital. There they took a picture, made sure that the vertebrae were not broken, but only flattened (“compression fracture D11 and D12” - they wrote me a diagnosis that I feel to this day), and sent me in a calf car to the rear. In Velikiye Luki I had to transfer myself to a magnificent ambulance train - the nurses and nurses watched with curiosity as I walked, supported by a soldier from a calf carriage, and swore at them, but did not move from their place - they were “not supposed to”!

Still, I realized that I could walk on my own, although it was painful; maybe it will be formed. I made peace with my sisters, and they brought me to the city of Gorky (now Nizhny Novgorod). The day I was wounded was November 2, 1944, the day I was discharged from the hospital (there were seriously “vertebral” wounded there since the beginning of the war) was January 6, 1945—I was there for just over two months!

By that time, our victory was already beyond doubt, peaceful professions were required in the liberated territory, and a decree was issued regarding non-combatant teachers: if they wish, they are demobilized and sent to work in schools. I found out about him by accident. Girls came to the hospital to look after the soldiers, and among them was a short, plump, curly-haired girl who might have taken a liking to me. She warned me: the head of the hospital will ask you whether you want to go back to school or stay in the hospital as an agitator. And so it happened. I, of course, chose school and returned to my place of permanent residence - Moscow. My post-war work at school began. My war is over and it’s been following me all my life...

Material for publication was donated by the author's granddaughter
Maria Koroleva

The time has come to begin a long and detailed story about the clerks, the soldier’s “white bones,” the “intellectual aristocracy among the soldiers,” so to speak. It’s worth starting with general considerations: with a story about who they are in today’s army, why they are needed, what they do. And then ask yourself what good they get for it and what bad. In conclusion, let’s talk about how to become or not become a clerk.

Who are the clerks?

Clerks, also known as clerks (that name used to be popular), “scribers”, “shribiks”, in the army are conscript soldiers who work with papers instead of officers. Any officer who has subordinate personnel has a lot of paperwork. But there is not enough time, and even the desire to spend it on scribbling paper, which essentially no one needs. This is how the urgent need for office supplies arises.

Clerks may be required by foremen, heads of departments, battery commanders, political officer (officer for dealing with personnel), chief of staff, as well as the actual commander of a unit or unit. Further discussion will be primarily from the point of view of the staff and battery chancellor, since I served a total of 9 months as a staff chancellor, observed the activities of the battery chancellery for a long time, and performed the duties of the political officer’s office and the foreman’s office.

By the nature of his activity, the clerk is a cross between a modern secretary and a medieval page (a personal protégé in a military environment). Like a modern secretary, the clerk rummages through papers, works with computers, electronics and office equipment, and also wastes time with this very computer. As a page, he is the protege of a certain officer, carries out his instructions, up to performing the functions of a servant at the table or an errand boy, and accordingly takes advantage of the opportunities provided by this position, which will be discussed below.

There is a certain interdependence between the officer and his clerk. An officer needs a soldier, preferably adequate and obedient, to accurately and timely carry out the officer's paper work for him, which he should submit in the event of an inspection. A soldier needs a place where he will have maximum freedom of action, freedom to manage his own time, as well as certain intangible and material benefits.

If we talk about the soldier (and I will always focus on the soldier), then the first freedom, freedom of action, lies in the fact that the officer cannot tear himself apart and keep track of the personnel under his command and this individual office at the same time throughout the entire period of service. That is, the office is often left without the attention of the officer, which allows the soldier to do very different things in the absence of a superior eye. And since the informal workplace of a clerical worker is the formal workplace of an officer, it is often quite richly equipped for a more interesting pastime than what soldiers usually do: cleaning, landscaping, physical exercise, hard physical labor, outfits and combat duty. There may even be a computer there - and this opens up gigantic prospects for quickly and painlessly killing service time, which is what all conscript soldiers, without exception, strive for.

Paradoxically, with these opportunities, the clerk, if he is careful enough not to get caught in his private activities, can be perceived by officers as a soldier who is always under supervision, because he is constantly in front of the officer’s eyes and therefore most often the clerk ends up outside suspicions of idleness. Although idleness, moreover, the most “legal” one, so to speak, flourishes in a riotous color precisely among the clerks and precisely thanks to the described freedom of action. Knowing this, some very astute (therefore few) officers constantly call all clerks by default “slackers.”

The second freedom, the freedom to manage one’s own time, lies in the fact that clerks, like no other soldier, fall out of the daily routine of the military unit. It may be that they may not appear at all at any events, both following the daily routine of the military unit and not following it. That is, in sudden formations to recalculate the availability of personnel, in unplanned mass physical exercises because of someone’s personal mistake, in barracks games, and so on. Clerks are likely to sit in the office, provided that they are extremely busy with very important work, and the officer providing their protection is of very high position. Or if they successfully pretend that they are extremely busy with something very important.

In our division, a completely “legal” unofficial practice was widespread, according to which the clerk could, on a weekday, go from the morning divorce (9:00) to the office and sit there until one in the morning with breaks for meals. And at the same time, sleep until 7 o’clock the next morning (with a general rise at 6:00), skipping morning physical exercises and cleaning. However, this was possible only with personal protection and agreement with the officer on duty in the division, and circumstances conducive to this did not happen often.

At the same time, of course, the chancellor in fact could not sit around the clock in the office, but be in some other places, but certainly not where all the other soldiers are, doing not the same thing as the others, not at the same time, when the rest. This is the essence of freedom of the second kind.

In the light of understanding this freedom, it also becomes understandable that clerks want to “work” on weekends in the office, when in theory (according to the regulations) all work should be stopped. On Sunday, the clerks in the office (if they manage to come up with a convincing reason to go there) have a revelry and complete dissolution in the absence of other officers except those on duty, who are most often either in the barracks or in the officers' dormitory. The rest of the soldiers on Sunday follow a daily routine, according to which from morning until lunch mass sports events (at best, voluntary-compulsory football or volleyball, at worst - 5 km cross-country with equipment) and the rest of the time until lights out they sit in the barracks in leisure room. Do I need to explain what bliss the clerk experiences when he goes to the office on the weekend?

In a conversation about intangible and material benefits received by the clerk, it is worth noting that they are directly dependent on how high the position in the hierarchical ladder is occupied by the clerk's patron among officers. We are talking here about both formal authority, the source of which is position and title, and informal authority, which depends on the characteristics of the individual. For example, the office under the chief of staff receives more benefits and has different responsibilities and opportunities than the office under the battery commander. In the first case, the position is major, in the second - captain. However, there are other captains or even senior lieutenants who are respected among officers more than majors, and so on. However, of course, this is the exception rather than the rule.

What are these office benefits?

Firstly, higher prestige among the unit’s personnel - both among officers and contract soldiers (“double basses”), and among conscript soldiers. Soldiers, double basses, and even some officers most often do not want to find fault or quarrel with the clerk, who is under the protection of an important officer, who, in turn, can harm them. Moreover, this is due to the fact that there is a possibility that the clerk will complain to the patron (which is considered snitching if the complaint is about other conscript soldiers - this does not apply to double basses and officers). So also because, having discovered the absence of a familiar soldier with a bunch of papers at his workplace, the officer quickly takes him from where the soldier of a lower rank took him (for example, from work, from cleaning, sometimes even from a detail), and returns the clerk to his “scheduled” position. place.

In our division, it often happened that there were practically no free workers left for work, cleaning and outfits (there were only “queens” left on duty in the company). But work, cleaning, and especially outfits need to be supplied with people. Even in such conditions, they tried not to involve clerks in any work other than paperwork, or at least not to tear them away from their place of permanent residence: for example, they were assigned to inspect PCBs in the office or were assigned to patrol duty in order to be able to write during a free shift. Or they sent me to a checkpoint with permission to write.

Thus, even the typical punishment in the form of being assigned to an orderly (for an old-timer or with a soldier’s status above average, this is already perceived as a punishment) to the clerical office turns out to be of little use, simply because he is needed not just anywhere or to anyone, but right here and for this particular officer . However, if the office is located in a company (barracks), then the office will almost always be assigned to an orderly (even though he most likely will not perform the duties of an orderly in practice, but will write).

Secondly, the clerk is informally allowed to have an advanced phone with a camera and the Internet. More precisely, if the clerk has it, then they are almost obliged to use it at all times in order to always be in touch with the officer and carry out his instructions like “Find information about this on the Internet,” “Quickly bring this,” “Take a photo of this.” " Of course, not in the presence of outside inspectors. Ordinary soldiers also have legal “slippers” (most often stored in the officer’s safe), with which all soldiers are only allowed to make calls, and only on weekends. Illegal phones are confiscated upon discovery, sometimes even with their subsequent destruction, especially if the phone has a camera and the Internet. During my entire service, my phone was never confiscated.

Thirdly, officers often speak to the clerk as if they were a person, and not as a soldier (this is a big difference). Human communication, and not according to regulations, with smart adults is something that is sorely lacking in the army.

Fourthly, it is easier for a clerk to obtain a higher military rank, and accordingly he receives it more often. Why? The clerk is constantly in front of his superiors. Thus, it is easier for him to show his best (or worst) side - this is noticed more often. It is easier for the chancellor to ask his officer for the assignment of the next military rank due to the fact that he is more familiar with him and is not personally afraid of him (or is afraid much less than other soldiers). The clerk carries out officer orders unofficially and personally to the officer, that is, it seems to provide some kind of service for which one can receive some kind of reward. This is more difficult to achieve by simply performing well as an ordinary soldier under formal subordination.

Fifthly, it is easier for the clerk to get out of the military unit for completely legal reasons. That is, it’s easier to get a bump. Often under the pretext of purchasing “kantsukha,” that is, office supplies for the office, at their own expense. Paper, pens, pencils, erasers, scissors, rulers, putties, cartridges - all this is practically not financed formally, from the budget. I saw the delivery of kantsukha “from above” only once on New Year’s Eve, and the volume of supply was about 1/10 of what was needed. So, almost always, officers pay for everything they need by contribution or personally at their own expense (like many other things). It is clear that officers do not like this, so independent and voluntary financial support for their work on the part of clerks is encouraged and stimulated in every possible way.

Sixth, the clerk is informally allowed to have more things than an ordinary soldier. For example, in his bedside table there may be unfinished schedules, notes, statements, magazines, books, notebooks, various stationery, and so on. It is clear that all this can be not only related to work - no one understands this, no one cares.

And in the office itself there is an opportunity to keep your things both legally and semi-legally. That is, hide them so that they do not attract the attention of officers. In particular, the expression “office mice”, widely used by officers, is associated with hiding and consuming everything and everyone “in office.”

Supplies can be quite extensive and very varied. Some can be legalized if shared honestly with officers. For example, having purchased tea, coffee, sugar, cookies, and so on, you can almost have tea parties with the officers. However, this depends on what kind of relationship you have with each specific person.

Seventh, the chancellor has access to a much larger amount of internal information than any of the soldiers. This is both internal documentation, such as staffing, various statements, and schedules, and external, such as telegrams, notes on combat training, newspapers, and so on.

Knowledge is truly power, and in the army as well. Due to his awareness, the clerk is needed by everyone and is useful to everyone, which allows him to benefit from this. For example, a good staff chancellor knows exactly all the surnames, first names and patronymics of all servicemen of the unit, their signatures, brands and numbers of contrabass vehicles and officers, duties of squads and anti-terrorism, documentation on combat duty (as regards it and a little more), and even the contents combat training and information classes (which can only take place on paper). Thus, a good clerk is almost always aware of what is happening, knows the latest news, and knows what's what locally. In general, the clerk is one of the rare people in the army who becomes dumber in it almost the slowest, and precisely due to working with large amounts of information.

Eighth, the chancellor has more access than any other soldier to compile a weekly anti-terrorism list, an individual schedule for combat duty, as well as a monthly schedule for daily morning cleaners. Fills out all kinds of forms and gives grades for classes that took place both on paper and in reality, also a clerical worker. Wall prints are also most often produced by stationery. He also repairs all sorts of delicate electronics, such as laptops and computers, if he knows how and is not afraid to mess up. The same thing happens with the firmware of phones, as well as with their illegal recharging for ordinary soldiers.

Ninth, the clerk writes a performance review and a report on the dismissal of those being demobilized. That is, in fact, most often it is he who decides what assessment his colleagues will receive for their year of service. Officers most often simply skim through these documents and approve. And, of course, the clerk also writes these documents to himself. Of course, from an extremely positive side. Most often, officers have nothing against this and subscribe to a lengthy positive description of their clerk.

Tenth, the clerk fills out the staffing table of the military unit and prepares soldier documents. It depends on him how beautiful and correct everything will be, how accurately it will be written and done. Few people would like to get problems associated with the fact that some rubbish was written about them in documents or because the clerk smuggled in a defective document.

Eleventh, clerks are allowed not to walk with everyone in formation, singing songs, as is customary in the army, but to move at a free pace clearly on their clerical business throughout the territory of the unit. It is advisable, of course, exclusively for office work and on the run, and so that the officers do not see you wandering around in nowhere, but it depends on the circumstances.

However, as you might guess, there is also a downside to all these benefits and features of serving as a clerk.

What are the negative consequences of office?

Firstly, solidarity with other conscript soldiers is destroyed. If you are a clerk, you are no longer “one of us” for many soldiers, but an “officer”, despite the fact that officers evoke fear and hatred in most soldiers. Accordingly, the closer the chancellor is to the officers, the further he is from the soldiers, the more he experiences manifestations of this fear and hatred.

How does the destruction of soldier solidarity manifest itself? The rest of the soldiers willingly believe that the chancellor, if not snitching on the soldiers, then at least in one form or another informs the officers about what is happening among the soldiers and answers their specific questions about certain soldiers. Most often, any clerk does something similar without any intent, but he tries with all his might to minimize it, not talk about it and simply deny everything, because he knows that no one likes or respects informers.

For other soldiers, the office worker is most often a burden, since he does not work, does not clean, does not go on duty like the rest. That is, the amount of work that he could perform is distributed among other working soldiers, from whose lower stratum he most likely came. That is, thanks to the “kantsukha,” the soldier rises sharply in the hierarchy, which in turn may conflict with the place in the soldier’s hierarchy that the clerk occupied before. Most often, he is not tough enough, he does not know how to command and force himself to obey, or use physical force. This status conflict can lead to great friction with colleagues and greatly spoil the clerk’s cloudless life.

In general, other soldiers do not like the fact that the clerks have more freedom than they do. An ordinary soldier cannot help but go to all sorts of formations, he cannot help but rock with everyone because of someone’s joint, he cannot do the devil in a separate room outside the company on a legal basis from morning until night, or be able to legally use the telephone with the Internet, and so on. This causes the most banal envy, which a good clerk tries in every possible way to neutralize by depicting how hard and difficult it is for him. This is not always a lie.

Secondly, the clerk really often has a hard time due to the fact that he has “irregular working hours.” If an ordinary soldier, after dinner, according to the schedule, has the right not to work anymore, then the clerk, if he is given a task to do something, is obliged to go and do it, whether he wants to or not. Sometimes, in the event of some rush jobs that happen with depressing frequency, such as “redo all the documentation on combat training overnight for tomorrow’s check,” the clerk is simply freaked out by such a life and begins to envy ordinary soldiers who live according to a schedule and go to bed on time , and not around midnight or later.

The work takes on a particularly feverish rhythm when the meticulous chief of staff arrives after a series of “Acting Chief of Staff” who have been managing documentation somehow for a long time. During my time as a staff chancellor, I worked with four different “acting officers”, and at the end of my service I had the opportunity to work with a very meticulous chief of staff, on whose initiative I had to redo almost everything and very quickly.

It even got to the point where I had to leave lunch or some formation based on his phone call to my mobile phone, which, generally speaking, is wild for the army, where everyone marches in formation, and soldiers are prohibited from using phones at all on weekdays. However, there was such a specific nature of clerical work, and, in general, no one particularly objected: everyone respected the chief of staff and was aware of his working methods. And at the same time they almost felt sorry for me, just like his previous chancellor. Not always without reason.

Thirdly, the mistakes and mistakes of a clerical officer are more noticeable to an officer than the mistakes and mistakes of an ordinary soldier. There is higher demand from the office. He must understand and assimilate everything very quickly, correct mistakes and shortcomings very quickly, and ideally not allow them at all. Remember everything and always remind you of what you forgot. In general, according to officers, the ideal clerk is one who does everything that an officer should do with papers, without the participation of the officer himself. There are legends in our division that such clerks existed in time immemorial - the officers still remember them.

Fourthly, the chancellor has less opportunity to shift responsibility from himself to someone else, as some ordinary soldier can do. The chancellor has a lower level of collective irresponsibility - he is personally responsible for many things, and only he, no one else. No one will do anything for him, simply because none of the other soldiers know how and what to do. For an ordinary soldier, what the clerk does with his papers is some kind of sacrament, and the clerk is a priest who performs some kind of abstruse rituals. It’s better not to delve into their meaning, so as not to go crazy and run around like crazy, just like the clerk runs around. Ways to avoid this fate will be discussed below.

Fifthly, the clerk does not have the official status of “clerk” or “scribe” - most often there is no such position in the department’s staffing table. And even if there is some kind of position at the headquarters like “encoder,” it is most likely occupied by a contract soldier or some kind of criminal soldier who has no real connection to the headquarters. That is, formally, a clerk is not a clerk, but some kind of “gunner”, “driver”, “operator”, according to the staffing table.

The chancellor must formally perform job duties determined by his military specialty (MS), engage in combat and special training in accordance with this specialty, carry out combat duty as part of a reduced and full combat crew in accordance with the specialty, but in reality this is not always the case . And this reality contradicts what management should see during an inspection. So, if the inspector arrives, the clerk is tasked with hiding and not showing up.

Sixthly, the same contradiction between formal status and informal activity leads to the fact that the clerk is less likely to participate in combat duty, if, in accordance with his specialty, he must be constantly in the apparatus, and not anywhere else. That is, either he sits in the office, or he sits on the database in the equipment. Combining these two positions is problematic, but in principle possible, as practice shows. A more common system is that a form of participation in carrying out combat duties is selected in which the clerk, in principle, can be located anywhere with the obligation to arrive at his workplace on time in the event of a declaration of combat readiness.

For example, there is a position “diesel driver” of the energy-mechanical department of the division. As an “electrical mechanic-diesel operator” or “controller control unit operator”, while on duty shift of a shortened combat crew, such a soldier is required to be at his workplace in the cabin of the diesel power plant or control unit at all times. However, if he is a clerk, then he sits in his office, which increases the risk that some kind of trouble may occur. And this causes certain concerns among the officers on duty, who need to finish their shift calmly and without trouble.

Therefore, the clerk is often appointed as some kind of “PVN reconnaissance (visual observation point),” which does not contradict the duties of the clerk. Quite the opposite, because the box with the intelligence officer’s equipment and documentation is kept at headquarters. Thus, the clerk turns out to be the best intelligence officer - he at least has access to equipment and documentation, has the opportunity and sometimes even the desire to familiarize himself with them.

Seventhly, as mentioned above, clerks are greatly disliked by those who are obliged to draw up orders, assign jobs, cleaning and servicing equipment. That is, foremen, section chiefs, platoon commanders, junior command staff among soldiers, as well as the working soldiers themselves.

The appointors are asked for the results of their work. But if few people can work, then they are heavily exploited. They, in turn, don’t like it, they shirk from work. Consequently, they need more control, which strains the prescribers - they no longer like it. In the end, the clerical workers are to blame for not working like all the working soldiers.

Office workers are treated as a burden, because an office is no help to a working soldier; most often he does not know how to work with his hands, does not want to, and considers it beneath his dignity. And if for some reason the clerk is assigned to the same outfit as you, get ready for the fact that you will have to work for him, because he may just leave to write his papers. This cannot but cause irritation and dissatisfaction with the position of the chancellor on the part of the other soldiers.

Eighth, the above-mentioned desire of the chancellor to hide and consume food shortages in his office alone or together with a narrow circle of other chancellors also causes indignation on the part of the soldiers. Ordinary soldiers are forced to share with everyone, since they have nowhere to store and quietly consume food except in the privateer, where they can lose up to 50% or more at once by “paying a fee” to the privateer and other queens. A particularly difficult situation arises where each battery or squad has its own room, such as a warehouse with a lock, into which the queens of this battery or squad try to steal everything.

For comparison, with skillful action, a clerk can save for himself and other clerks up to 70-80% of food parcels or civilian supplies from relatives and friends. Moreover, each such delivery is somewhat reminiscent of a secret special operation, in which the main task is not to meet anyone with packages from the checkpoint (here we also need to share) to the office. Some part, of course, should be given “to the people,” whose representatives, at best, can retain up to 30% or less, depending on the circumstances.

The fact that someone shares as much as they see fit, and someone shares everything because they cannot help but share, irritates most soldiers. And since the desire to eat civilian, and not statutory food, is the wildest among soldiers in the army, each distribution after delivery strongly resembles a raid by seagulls on a pile of fish. The spectacle is not very pleasant and extremely expensive for the one to whom this food belongs.

Ninth, almost any clerk experiences a conflict of tasks. Its essence is that there is only one chancellor, but there are many officers who need something from him, and immediately, right now. It is important for officers to get something from the office, and they do not care what he is doing at the moment. It often happens that a whole bunch of officers are crammed into the office, everyone demands that their task be carried out first. At the same time, they demand it from the office, and do not clarify the order of priority among themselves, since a soldier is a forced creature, and in his officer environment, clarifying relationships can be expensive, especially for such a minor matter.

The result is all sorts of unpleasant situations and dissatisfied officers who, on occasion, may recall that they were “bypassed.” And not just any other officer, but a clerk. In addition, in this situation, he may receive a blow both from his immediate superior (his tasks must be completed first), and from someone who is not his immediate superior, but has weight and can do harm. This all wildly spoils your nerves and is even offensive: you are trying to do everything and complete all the tasks in a row, and even somehow manage and complete them, and you are scolded for violating the chain of command and the order of tasks.

Tenth, there are no irreplaceable people. If a clerk fell ill and he had to leave a warm place for some time, then, upon returning back, he may no longer be a clerk if a better replacement was found for him. That is, a situation of competition in the clerical environment is possible, with all the ensuing consequences in the form of intrigue, cheating, and other career delights. These games are influenced by the number of potential participants, that is, applicants for the position of clerk and the clerks themselves, as well as how honey-coated this particular place is - that is, stress-free and comfortable.

In our division, this phenomenon was practically absent, since there were too few people, and there were barely enough people simply to replace the clerical workers who were going out of service. Also influenced by the fact that clerical life in the division, especially at first, was not entirely sunny.

On this, I think, we can finish with a description of the advantages and disadvantages of the office. They are described in general terms. Further, in conclusion, I consider it necessary to answer the question “How to become or how not to become a clerk?” This is not an idle question, since it is often decided without the participation of the potential clerk himself, it is decided for him while he is inexperienced and naive. Since I undertook to write about the army “as it is and as it was for me” in order to clarify some of the subtleties of modern army life, the answer to this question should also be answered.

So, how to become or how not to become a clerk?

Let's start with how to become one, because, as can be seen from comparing the list of advantages and disadvantages, this position is special, privileged, compared to other soldiers. Which means, most often, what is desired.

First of all, desired by whom? Here it is worth describing in a nutshell a person who aspires to become a clerk, his typical portrait, which is unlikely to fully describe any particular person.

Most often this is a person with higher or incomplete higher education, aged 20 years or older, from the city. I was just studying before the army. I joined the army either after leaving the university, or during an academic leave, or after graduating from the university. He has poor physical fitness, vision problems, and wears glasses. Familiar with computers and other electronics, foreign languages, Internet culture, loves to read. There are no girls in civilian life. Good handwriting. Can draw. Poorly socialized, patient, disciplined and withdrawn, does not know how to fight and stay in the rigid hierarchy of a closed male team, responsible.

Who exactly recruits new clerks?

They are recruited by serving clerks as their replacements after demobilization. How is this usually done? Through an agreement with the current clerk, who will have to introduce the candidate to the officer as his “apprentice” or “trainee.” Officers need to ensure that the quality of paperwork does not decrease, so they support this practice of succession of clerks and allow the recruitment of “apprentices” so that the newcomer gradually gets up to speed, is less stupid and messes up when the time comes to fully take on all the responsibilities of the clerk.

Often officers themselves encourage their departing clerks to look for replacements, saying “otherwise we won’t demobilize until you find a replacement, it’s not for me to write these papers myself” and similar horror stories. It happens that they themselves find (through “merchants” at the recruiting station or in other units of the military unit) suitable candidates, although more often they shift this headache onto the clerks themselves, forcing them to choose from what is available.

It happens that there is simply no one to replace him, so the mess falls like snow on the head of an unprepared soldier who is not at all eager to prepare. Most often, this situation is created among staff clerks, since although this place is the most profitable, it is also the most difficult, especially with a meticulous chief of staff. It happens that the very personality of the chief of staff scares away all potential applicants, and this fear outweighs everything else. So one can only feel sorry for the unfortunate person who was taken to headquarters in this situation “because there is no one else.”

On this note, it’s time to move on to tips on how to avoid becoming a clerk.

Firstly, you cannot show any interest in the office, its affairs, papers, stationery, and so on.

Secondly, never answer a question about handwriting in a positive way to anyone. Even soldiers, since when asked by an officer to a team, the soldiers will point to someone who is known to them in that capacity. If possible, write clumsily, with blots and errors, if someone can see it.

Thirdly, never tell anyone that you can draw or understand computers and similar equipment, as well as their software.

Fourth, show team skills if you want to become a queen from the junior command staff and not get out of the private quarters: wear the outfit of a company duty officer (there are always not enough company duty officers), fight for a high place in the hierarchy, get close to the team and follow in his opinion, avoid officers.

Fifthly, show an increased interest in servicing automobile and other military equipment, if you want to become a technician and not get out of the vehicle fleet or equipment: tell everyone about having a driver’s license, the ability to work with electrical wiring and mechanics, show this and similar skills .

Sixth, work hard and effectively and engage in physical labor, if you want to become a valuable craftsman and not get out of work: demonstrate the desire and ability to do, repair things, show carpentry, plumbing, plumbing, construction and other similar skills useful in army life and skills.

Seventh, do not be in a “suspended state”, without showing any effort, attention, or desire for anything specific. Such “weighted” personnel are thrown into the most unpleasant, uninteresting and hard work; neither queens, nor technicians, nor foremen, nor clerks, nor officers, nor anyone, spare them. They are dumb manpower, units that must be controlled and benefited from - that is the attitude towards them in the army.

So that an intelligent person does not fall into the number of such thoughtless units, this article was written. I hope it will somehow help my reader with this.

A complete series of my articles about the army in chronological order.