Psychology based on dialogues in VK. Psychology of contact

Well, which one? modern people not interested in this one interesting science How's psychology? It can help you cope with many problems in life, find answers to questions and a purpose for moving forward. However, not all modern psychologists are experts in their field. We all know that the current level of education, as a rule, leaves much to be desired, right?

If you are a psychologist who wants to continuously improve your level of competence, or you are a person who needs the help of a psychologist, our article will be very helpful. After all, in it we will look at publics and groups on the VKontakte social network that are dedicated to psychology. In them you will certainly be able to find not only interesting information, but also worthy interlocutors.

Psychology of relationships

Why is this public first on our list? This is no coincidence. This community is the largest! It already has more than four and a half million people. There are probably many of your friends among them. And really, what can a person worry about more than relationships with other people? And here is the address: vk.com/psy.people

But where the crowd is, the truth cannot be found. Why do we say this? Because there is no smell of psychology here. Alas, only the name is connected with psychology. Here you will find vanilla quotes, cute photos and games in discussions. However, if you like this, feel free to join. Next, we will try to consider communities that are associated with real psychology.

Public of the same name

Real psychology in VKontakte is represented by this public page: vk.com/sci_psy

Just under two million subscribers, interesting posts and regular updates. This is more like what we were looking for. It’s just a pity that there are no comments under posts or discussions in this community. So, finding like-minded people or asking a question will not work. The maximum is to like or repost.

This community is perfect for you if you love to read. Because there is something here to read and think about. Are you interested in psychology on VKontakte? Feel free to subscribe for updates!

Sigmund Freud

Which one? famous psychologist You know? I think the answer is obvious. We invite you to join this community, which is dedicated to the legendary Sigmund Freud: vk.com/public25013143

Surely all psychologists on VKontakte have long ago subscribed to updates from this public page. In total there are more than 65 thousand participants. And even despite the fact that comments on posts are closed, and there is essentially no one to chat with here, staying in the community is very interesting thanks to the posts on the wall. It is clear that they are chosen wisely. By the way, the millionaire, whom we have already written about on our website, quite often quotes Freud.

Carl Gustav Jung

Another titan in human psychology, to whom a fairly large community is dedicated: vk.com/public.jung

Agree, real psychologists on VKontakte will not be able to pass by and not subscribe to this public page. It contains many quotes and excerpts from Jung's books. However, not only his quotes. Surely it would be too boring. So, you will find other excerpts from books in this community different people, one way or another related to psychology. Which is good news.

I would like to talk about trends in modern practical psychology and psychotherapy. The services market today offers huge amount referrals and schools offering therapeutic assistance. People who encounter internal difficulties sometimes find it difficult to choose who to turn to and who can really help them deal with those mental difficulties that they cannot cope with on their own.

I don't have a formal psychological education, but about a third of the people who come to my seminars and trainings and request my consultation have it. As a researcher, it is important for me to understand what they want to gain in my space, which was not enough in the communities where they studied.

I was told that, often students who graduated from various psychological faculties, starting to work with real clients, but did not know how to apply all this academic knowledge in practice, and attempts to apply psychological knowledge on living people were ultimately influenced rather than interacted with. And such work often left an unpleasant aftertaste of intrusion into the subtle and sensitive spheres of the soul with cold, surgical-like instruments.

If, before the advent of the Internet era, it seemed to us that by reading some psychological article or learning something about ourselves at a face-to-face appointment with a psychologist, we would “understand” something, that is, by recognizing ourselves in the described symptom, we would “feel better” , you just need to get this “special information”, then today all information is absolutely accessible, but this does not make it “easier”.

From reading psychological texts and stories, the expected catharsis no longer occurs, but often clients, replacing the experience with “understanding,” say that they “became clearer and this makes it easier.” However, psychotherapeutic online groups and psychological communities on social networks continue to publish more and more new texts, which we continue to read with pleasure...

The era of “psychological technologies” is coming to an end. Today, we have perfectly learned to download and practice many of the practices and techniques ourselves; in our times, there is no longer anything secret that would not become obvious. However, the sadness and melancholy in the eyes of participants in seminars on “advanced psychological technologies” dissipates for a while, but does not completely go away even after participating in super-successful trainings.

A psychotherapist who does not give the client a live personal response and contact, but only knowledge, techniques, or interprets you in terms of his psychological direction (it’s good if he manages to first introduce them to their meaning), today cannot be considered an effective and efficient consultant. People can independently find a description of all their symptoms and diagnoses, download NLP techniques and Ericksonian hypnosis patterns on video and in text.

Real changes at a deep level do not come from the fact that they downloaded them, read them and tried to apply them to themselves. Most so-called psychological problems, is associated with a violation of information and energy exchange between the “client” and his social environment, as well as between the internal parts of the client’s personality.

Trauma received as a result of one or another close, open relationship leaves an imprint of restraint and wariness on all subsequent relationships of a person with significant elders, with equals (in social sense) with men, women, and the world in general.

What do I see as a promising approach in counseling and psychotherapy today? We seem to have lost the habit of living constructive human contact: so that it is “honest” and “careful”, deep and high quality. We are barricaded by several levels of defenses and fears, which are successfully disguised as “standards of etiquette.”

Therapy, in which these very boundaries are violated by living human participation, living response, therapy, where you can be given live contact and show human interest in relation to you and what is happening to you - this is, in my opinion, the most promising approach today.

This is no longer psychoanalysis, or attempts to give an “assessment of the situation,” or reframing. This live communication between two people is that luxury human relations, this is essentially interaction in love.

However, our classical colleagues psychological schools another approach is “beware of being excessive towards the patient”, and in business coaching – “nothing personal, we only solve the client’s problems.” And there is a rational grain in this, but it is important to consider this.

“Working” as psychotherapists, following the rules of the therapeutic game, we learned to be good clients and wonderful therapists! We have discovered the secret of success and happy life in psychotherapeutic or training spaces.

And that’s why we go there for support and acceptance: the canons of psychotherapy regulate the careful rules of the game. But in real life everything is unpredictable, sometimes, tough and without any rules!

And if a psychotherapist cannot allow himself to be a living person, fully consciously interacting without rules, he is unlikely to be able to convey to a person the ability to remain in a space of uncertainty, teach, like a surfer, to glide along the waves of a reality in which there are no stable once-and-for-all laws and regulations.

The boundaries of psychotherapy, which are usually established in classical counseling, do not add to either the client or the therapist, vital energy, so necessary for movement. In therapeutic play, we may remain in our psychological bunkers, but now we know how to interpret what prevents us from coming out!

I don't put hard boundaries between my life and my therapy session. In my work, I propose to surrender to Life (in the person of the therapist as its representative), to establish real interaction with it. If you want, express your dissatisfaction with her, even your disappointment with her, right to my face.

And if you said this to me, you will probably feel and realize whether you are understood, whether you are accepted for who you are. And if you are seen, accepted and understood for who you are, you have a feeling of a chance to live a happy life, i.e. involved in human life. The energy of your soul flowed out from the inside!

Many clients show some part of themselves to the therapist, saying, “Do something with my finger, but please don’t touch me.” I don’t want to do something with you, I want to interact with you whole! I want to talk to the whole you. Are you alive there, in your isolation, in your loneliness and in your global mistrust? Or are you no longer there? Or have you somehow chained yourself to the boundaries of “yourself” and can no longer go out?

Professional consultants and professional clients continue this imitation of life, but in the format of psychotherapy... I don’t want to do this. I would like to live my life whole, on the rise.

If the client is ready for this (and this is probably what he essentially wants), then it is possible. A psychotherapist, consultant is someone who is called to wait and wait for the Person in you. We will wait for you, not your symptom, not your analysis and not your clever reasoning about what you read in some psychological journal.

Without any rules and standards, show yourself, please. Come out here to meet me. I'm waiting for you. I don't know how this will end. Maybe you will be my lover, maybe you will be my friend, or maybe you will be my teacher, or maybe I will be your teacher. Agreeing with the extreme uncertainty of life, I don’t know where this will last, how it will end, and whether it will end at all...

Smart analysts may say, “Isn’t this where the psychotherapist’s internal goals and needs are being compensated at the expense of his clients?” Yes, it's happening. Of course it happens! I want more people into my life, I want more quality and taste in interaction. Knowing how to do this, and I am ready to teach how this happens between people! But if you come to me for training or a seminar, keep in mind that it will be hot. It will be unexpected, it will be cool, but for real.

Until we awaken the Force, the internal impulse of Life in a person, there is no point in continuing this whole therapeutic game. But there is meaning in being, in order to love, to invite, to make friends...

I don’t think that I am the pioneer of any new direction in psychotherapy. These truths have long been known. My understanding of the science of counseling began about 15 years ago with James Bugental’s book “The Science of Being Alive,” then there was Irvin Yalom’s “The Love Cure...” Very good books I recommend it to everyone. Living examples of living life in a consulting format.

I recently watched the series “Mental”. The film shows a clinic in which psychiatrists work according to the classical canons, but at some point a new head of the department appears there, who perceives patients not as sick, but as people who are in some kind of difficulty, confused in the projections of their mind, which has closed to They have a vision of reality, or rather, they have lost contact with shared (social) reality.

So, he pulled them into the world of people, focusing his attention not on the symptom, but on the healthy part of the personality, raking it through the rubble of exchange and emotional garbage. Another shining example I highly recommend this kind of work to all my psychologists and consultants I know.

When I hear that instead of a deep and interested dialogue, a person is offered either relaxation techniques or phenazepam, I understand that with these half-measures we only suppress the ineradicable thirst for life that lives inside each of us, but does not always find an adequate (for society) outlet outside . Instead of playing “expert” and “layman,” I invite my colleagues to abandon these roles, I propose to invite those who contact you into the common space of Abundant Life.

I don’t fully understand how I manage to revive people (which they later testify to); some colleagues asked me about “my technique”... Today I don’t have it, although at one time I studied with many masters. I was simply myself in every situation, in every consulting session, I know how to be completely with a person when I conduct a consulting session, with people when I talk or lead a seminar...

At the end of the conversation about contact psychotherapy, about the science of being alive, I would like to quote a poem by Vera Polozkova, which reflects the essence of what I (I realize, perhaps rather chaotically) tried to say above.

I came to old Berber, who is thin and gray,
Resolve the issues that plague me.
“I see, my son, a hot light is shining through you,”
So, you are not his master.
Be afraid of troubled waters and rewards for your efforts,
Be the protector of the rose, the dove and the dragon.
You see, people around you are piling up hells, -
Show them it can be different.
Remember that no foreign war, no bad rumors,
No evil sickness, insatiable, like a she-wolf -
Nothing worse than the prison of your head
It will never happen to you."

From these “prisons” of our heads in which people find themselves, in the prisons of concepts, rules and other manifestations of completed reality, we, servants of helping professions, are called upon to lead other people out: with our hearts, our caring wisdom, honesty and warm human care.

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