Active life position of the leader. How active is your life position? How to find the best life position

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Where do the problems that abound in our life path begin? Where is their source? According to Eric Berne, the age of making a key scenario decision - I am "good" or "bad" - is an interval of 2 to 3 years. First, an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthe self or the life position of the individual is formed. Until the age of 5-7, she participates in the formation of the script.

The scenario laid down at this age can be both positive and negative. In the first case, it allows you to realize plans: get rich, write music and become a famous composer or athlete, a good family man or just a happy person. In the second, it can include negative life programs: setting on the lack of money, the development of alcohol and drug addiction and other problems.

The main program components laid down in the script are formed by parents up to 7 years. It is at this time that the child receives the first impressions of life. So a person entering a cafe for the first time, in a split second, forms the first impression: “barn” - low ceilings that put pressure on the head, too bright light and a rustic cheeky contingent, or, on the contrary, it’s cozy at home, pleasant staff, there are tables , behind which you can relax and talk, the music is not intrusive, the repertoire is perfectly chosen. Even if everything changes exactly the opposite in a cafe that you didn’t like the first time, you still won’t go to it anymore, because you already have the first, most lasting impression.

In the same way, a child up to 6-7 years old, answering important questions for him, makes his first impression of himself and the world: what is he like, who is he, is it pleasant to study, is the school a good place, can parents, friends be trusted, what is friendship ?

If his initial expectations are deceived, he is disappointed that he did not live up to expectations and withdraws into himself. This is nothing more than protection: if I limit contact with the world, then next time it will not hurt me so much, and if it does, then the pain will be much less.

Position selection: I am good - I am bad

The child falls into a puddle on the playground - roars, grabs an abrasion on his knee, looks in the direction of his mother. Mom, beside herself with rage - she will have to get her new sandals dirty in a puddle. Instead of soothing strokes and comfort, the mother gives the baby a few heavy blows wherever she hits. The kid falls a second time, breaks into hysterics. The second likely reaction is outright fun. Mom is funny to watch how awkwardly her little man stretched out to his full height. The child is in a state of shock - the expectations of help not only did not come true, his call turned into additional stress.

Of course, everything can happen exactly the opposite - the mother will arrive in time, comfort and fully meet the expectations of the baby.

Negative or positive situations from the point of view of the child are constantly repeated to one degree or another, life leads him to the need to answer himself the question: why is this happening? And depending on what his answer will be, his life position will be formed for the rest of his life. The problem is that at an early age, kids trust their parents absolutely: mom is the highest wisdom. She is always right about everything. And the child will come to the idea that a mother can be “just a fool” no earlier than 15 years old.

If parents are ready to properly raise a child from the first days of his life, positive content will remain in his life position - a prerequisite for a prosperous and happy life.

4 basic life positions

Children come to their first grade having already received the first “painful” experience with their life position: favorites, leaders, losers who choose the last desks. In school, taking this into account, the previously formed psychological reactions are consolidated and developed. Therefore, psychologists strongly recommend: do not choose a good school - choose a good class teacher.

Many broken destinies would not have happened, and psychologists would have had an order of magnitude less work if the attitude of parents towards their children in the first years of their lives would have been different. If the mother picked it up on time, and the dog licked, and did not bite, then answering the questions: “What am I?”, “What is my environment?” ...and "What's the world like?" ... a child in his 2-3 years old will “put pluses”. It will form the life position of a happy and positive person, tuned in to creation.

Important: there will always be a difference between a person and an act in his world. Therefore, he will never say “You are a uniform idiot”, while making an enemy or losing a friend, but will notice: “Today you acted like an idiot.” This is the scheme: I "+" You "+" " I AM GOOD - YOU ARE GOOD ».

If the dog did bite, and the parents at the crucial moment took care of themselves, laughed or thrashed at the first opportunity, then the child is honestly forced to “minus”. Since his ideas about the world turned out to be erroneous, he concludes that he is bad, that he is a “loser”. A person projects this life position onto adult life. At the same time, the child will always justify his closest people - the true culprits of millions of broken destinies at the time of making a decision, giving them his cherished plus sign. Over the years, continuing to stubbornly minus himself for any reason, he admits that those around him are more successful, more perfect, smarter, he is also a sucker and a non-pinging lamer. This is how the formation of a life position occurs: I "-" You "+" " I AM BAD - YOU ARE GOOD».

Any desire to develop, change oneself, and even more so, to create and give away is lulled by a narcissist at the age of 2–3 years. The main culprits of the skewed position in life, again, are parents, grandparents.

Growing up and getting more and more, he still remains dissatisfied with the environment, which does not know how to arrange his life as it should. Choosing his position in life, he diligently “draws a plus sign” for himself, and minuses those close to him who failed to fuss and evaluate in time what gift fate presented them in his person. This is the scheme I "+" You "-" " I AM GOOD - YOU ARE BAD».

No less destructive is the life position of a person. I "-" You "-" " I'M BAD - YOU'RE BAD ". Such a position, in principle, excludes any desire to change in any direction. The usual state of mind of such a person is fatalism and boredom. The logical finale of such a life credo is often the desire to end this meaningless existence.

When everything is GOOD

You can recognize a person as psychologically healthy who evaluates himself - I am "+", knows how to discern a positive beginning in his loved ones - You are "+", willingly makes new acquaintances - They are "+", finds an interesting job - Labor "+".

Initially, the child starts assessing and choosing a life position from himself - Who am I "+" or "-"? If “+” is selected, the child recognizes himself as strong, talented, smart, capable, just like dad / just like mom.

When it's BAD

If at the age of 2–3 years the child put “-” for himself, he obviously agreed that he is stupid, awkward, cowardly, alas, he is all like daddy / daddy’s mom, not interesting to others, not needed. It is this position in life at the age of 13–16 that often leads schoolgirls of completely normal build, pursuing the goal of losing weight at any cost, to anorexia with a fatal outcome.

You "-" are disposed to conflicts with members of your microsociety, whom he puts on the list of disadvantaged people. At the same time, his tendency to sarcasm and caustic irony, the desire to re-educate them and the willingness to say goodbye even for a trifling matter are manifested. If the position of Oni “-” prevails, the person avoids new contacts, and notices only shortcomings in new partners in communication. Adaptation to an unfamiliar environment takes place at a snail's pace. If Labor is "-" - there is constant dissatisfaction with the material result. Then a person is busy constantly looking for a better job, striving to improve, mainly, material well-being.

Important: With the appearance of "-" in one of the positions, the positive content of the others changes. So if “+” disappears from the position of You “+”, there is a distortion in the perception of I. Then a person, communicating with loved ones, shows arrogance.

Less often, in almost all life situations, all positions are characterized by "+" - the personality is stable. When positions remain positive at some moments of life, and negative at others, then it is not stable. As Litvak noted, the presence of even one minus in the personality complex entails the appearance of minuses in the rest, which sooner or later will lead to neurosis.

Roles, like scenarios, are distributed in advance

As Eric Berne said: “A person's life path - his destiny is determined by what happens in his head when he comes into conflict with the outside world. Freedom gives him the opportunity to carry out his own plans, and power - to interfere in the plans of others. But how he will live and how he will end his life path a person decides for himself in early childhood. In the future, his whole life as a person is subject to the chosen scenario, which can be called a life plan.

Since the ultimate goal of a person is a happy and balanced life, our main task is to try to learn how to determine our life position, based on it, read our life scenario and, correcting its negative part, change our life path.

“Life is like games: some come to compete, some to trade, and the happiest ones to watch,” said Leo Tolstoy, speaking about a person’s life position. Whether he was right or not, everyone determines for himself. To assert that there are no grains of rationality in his words would be at least unreasonable. Meanwhile, in order not to misunderstand the words of the writer, you need to figure out what an active life position means in general, and then determine what it means purely for each.

The active life position of a person is nothing more than an indifferent attitude to the world around, which is manifested in the actions and thoughts of the individual himself. The first thing that many pay attention to when communicating with a stranger is his position in life. It is she who distinguishes us from each other psychologically. This position in life allows or does not allow each person to overcome difficulties. Sometimes it is the cause of our success or failure. Moreover, in many ways it is the life position that determines the fate of a person.

Life position has a manifestation in all spheres of life, influencing moral and spiritual positions, socio-political and labor activity. An active position is characterized by a quick reaction of a certain person to life situations and a widespread readiness for specific actions.

It will not be superfluous to note that the life position in general includes:

• political preferences;
• worldview of a person;
• its principles, etc.

Formation of an active life position

It has been formed since human birth. The foundation of its appearance is communication with others, their influence on the personal development of each of us.

It is initiative that holds the true secret of developing an active life position. But its growth, like everything else in the universe, needs a kind of "battery" that will give energy for this improvement. Your "battery" is desires. After all, only they are able to force them to fight with difficulties, helping to achieve the desired goals.

All of us have ever come across people whose life was dominated by an active position. They internally stand out from those around them. In companies, they are often leaders. Such individuals are able to lead society, because their point of view and inner potential cause a desire to follow them.

The “positive” position is tuned to the observance of moral standards and the victory of good over evil.

Position "negative". You should not think that active people are necessarily those who act only “good”, on the contrary, you need to understand that their actions can also be harmful to society and themselves. What do you think, all kinds of gangs and gangs created by whom? That's right, active individuals, with certain, pronounced beliefs and specific goals that are harmful to society.

Our life is not something static and unchanging. It changes with the passage of time, the development of new technologies and the influence of people on our inner world. It is only important to be interested in improving the surrounding world.

For people of the first type, the main thing is not only to get hung up on their own and only their experiences, but also on global issues of the whole world. True, not everyone will be able to raise their personal values ​​for the benefit of society, but set principles, beliefs, and worldview to achieve success. But what will be the position in life depends only on the person himself.

An active life position is manifested in various aspects of human life - in study, work, attitude to business, honesty and integrity. It is not easy to take an active position in life. It is not enough to consider yourself an internally principled and honest person and conceal this honesty and adherence to principles, resorting to it only in cases that are convenient and safe for yourself. Some believe that: “I will be active only as much as it is profitable and safe for me. And if it is unprofitable and unsafe, stay away from such activity.”

An active life position does not begin from such and such a date, such and such a month, it accompanies a person throughout his life for the sake of the society in which he lives and works. His principle: to benefit people.

One of our cosmonauts said that "every person has an alternative: simply to ensure their existence or to consider that you were created for something more."

Why at all times have people valued daring, nobility, the priority of deeds over well-fed contentment, even over their own lives? To understand why strong men save children and women first of all, and not themselves, from a sinking ship, we must again and again return to the fact that human life and human happiness are human life and human happiness. This is what distinguishes a person from the animal world with its level of biological well-being.

Only those who are able to give more than they can take can be truly happy as a human being. Each person should understand as early as possible, and having understood, make it his life rule that nothing serious in life can be achieved without hard work. A person dissatisfied with himself, his work, his position - this person will simply eat himself and his neighbors, or even try to find solace in vodka, in sprees, in self-affirmation with rudeness.

Social activity is the desire to act among a multitude of people like you, and not to watch from the outside how others act, fuss. Social activity is promoted by an open character and need for people, and a favorable attitude towards them, communication, social responsibility and social needs. Social activity makes a person socially enterprising, socially confident.

With the correct definition of his life's work path, a person himself will be happy, and will bring much more benefit to the state than if the choice is wrong. A person should have a favorite job, useful to people.

Health care is not a private matter

One should not think that health care is a purely private matter. For our Motherland, it is far from indifferent whether we leave life at 40, when we are still gaining experience and only partially gave it to others. Or we will be able to transfer our knowledge and experience to the next generation in full. In essence, early wear and tear is the stolen years of the most intensive and full-fledged labor that creates wealth for the people. Those who create something valuable, they just work to self-forgetfulness, regardless of health. Everyone can and should be healthy. Nothing is required for this, only taking care of your body, which is a necessary requirement of every cultured person.

The more careless the car is treated, the sooner it fails. And the man?! For the smooth operation of human organs, a regime is needed, i.e. sequence of work and rest.

The mode is of great importance for people of mental labor, where overwork leads to exhaustion of the nervous system. To prevent it, a change of impressions and a discharge are necessary.

Good relaxation gives communication with nature, stay in the fresh air. You can go to the cinema, the theater, take a brisk walk down the street. In maintaining health and a long active life, sleep is of great importance, as the most valuable and necessary rest;

The most useful is a night's sleep for 7-8 hours. It is important to combine mental work with physical work.

In addition to the regime of work and rest, diet is also of great importance for maintaining a person’s working capacity.

We must cultivate restraint in food. Excess weight suggests that there is no proper care for body culture.

The physical wealth of a person is the real task of the state. Physical culture is a counterbalance to nervous shocks, modern comfortable, physically untiring life.

The state of health is determined by reserves that can only be drawn from physical culture and sports. There is no more difficult opponent for a person than himself. Or rather, than his laziness. There is no such sport that would not teach a person endurance, willpower, the ability to mobilize in the most difficult moments. Sport is a person's self-affirmation. Sport is a means to realize one's potential, but isn't that what a person strives for, wanting to be happy?

Complete high-quality nutrition, limited in quantity and calorie content. Efficiency, labor productivity, endurance, general activity depend on the content of vitamins and microelements in food. A culture of nutrition is needed along with daily physical activity.

Family life, its inner world is a very important part of our way of life. Society is interested in a strong, spiritual and morally healthy family. The question of marriage, relations between a man and a woman, children is a social, national problem. Maintaining principles, purity, high moral principles in this matter is what every person should strive for.

The lack of sexual culture and the crisis state of intimate life can explain people's disrespect for each other, rudeness, hysterical screaming as a method of proving one's own innocence, conflicts at home and at work, eternal conflict with oneself, the changing nature of sexual life poses moral problems not only for a person, but also to society.

The inability to use contraceptives is one of the main reasons for the catastrophic increase in unwanted pregnancies and abortions among adolescents.

Every conscientious person should cultivate in himself a feeling of the greatest respect for the mysteries of love and not treat the loved one only as a source of physical pleasures.

What does a person need to be happy?

The guarantee of one's own happiness and the happiness of close people is in the moral foundations of a person, in his ability to correlate his own desires and needs with the desires and needs of those around him, with the needs of society.

Thus, we can conclude: for a person’s happiness, the unity of public and personal is very important, a person has a big, interesting business that benefits people (“a person for people” is a necessary component), and all that is commonly called personal happiness (friendship, love, good family, children, good health, well-being, etc.). “Happiness is when you really want to go to work in the morning, and in the evening you really want to go home from work.”

It is important, however, that a person not become isolated in the narrow world of his family, his little well-being, so that he knows how, if necessary, to subordinate the personal to the public.

In L. Leonov’s novel “The Russian Forest” there are these words: “People demand happiness, success, wealth from fate, and the richest of people are not those who received a lot, but those who just gave themselves to people more generously than all others.” Of course, there are people (and unfortunately there are many of them) who choose the shortest, as they believe, path to happiness, ignore the interests of society and those around them, and reduce the role of moral principles in their lives to a minimum. Only life sooner or later punishes them for this, leads to a collapse in life, shows that they did not live like that, chose a ghostly path, moving along which one cannot find true happiness,

A modern person needs a lot for happiness: health and material wealth, friendship and love, family and team, science and art, physical education and sports, the joy of creativity and peace on Earth, and much more.

From the first days a person becomes a member of society. He soon comprehends the truth: only he can be called a man who lives for others - lives not only among people, but also for people.

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ped. Faculty, III course

It is unlikely that an employer would think of refusing an interesting candidate because of a couple of hackneyed phrases in his resume. But it's better to avoid clichés: you won't get a second chance to impress. We decided to figure out how to make communication and stress tolerance work for you.

Don't be so stress resistant

Today, more and more attention is paid to the personal qualities of a candidate: employers are looking for those who get along with colleagues, share corporate values ​​and will be interested in work. And the more noticeable that the company is looking not for an abstract specialist, but for a person with certain personal qualities, the more difficult it is to describe them correctly.

What to do if the list of communication skills, teamwork skills, active life position and stress resistance is a set of clichés, and the employer requires these qualities in the vacancy? Try to back them up with evidence: in this way, an abstract pioneer hero in the head of the employer will quickly turn into a person with experience and an interesting story.

"Sociable: 2 years worked as a bartender-healer of souls in a nightclub."

“Stress-resistant: closed a deal in two weeks with a difficult client who had previously brought three of my predecessors to tears.”

“Punctual: 3 years of successful work in a company where fines were levied on latecomers to work.”

Do not get hung up on a standard set of phrases, look for synonyms. Sociability is easy to replace with sociability and the ability to win over. Stress resistance - the ability to overcome difficulties. An active life position will be noticed immediately if you have an open and pleasant smile in the photo in your resume. And the love of learning - if they see an impressive list of certificates about.

A long list of personal qualities in a resume is inappropriate. The ideal list is no more than 5-7 items. What qualities to choose if you are a versatile person? Take a look at the text of the vacancy: the employer probably hinted at what is really important to him.

Separate skills and personal qualities

Skills are skills that you have acquired in the course of work or study. But personal qualities are character traits that are not so easy to acquire and even more difficult to lose. Therefore, their place is in the “About Me” section: this is where the recruiter will look for them.

Do not upload your resume with personal information that is not directly related to future work. It is absolutely not necessary for an HR specialist to know that you have a close-knit family and talented children. A hobby can be mentioned, but literally in one sentence. A common mistake in many resumes is that they contain a lot of unnecessary information, but they also lack a hint of why a person is suitable for this particular position.

Phrases that should be deleted from an English-language resume

If you are not fluent in the language, then in your resume in English you may still have the same clichés that you just got rid of in Russian. Many of them can simply be crossed out, the second part should be supported by evidence.

Here are the phrases that have definitely set the teeth on edge for English-speaking recruiters.

Results-oriented professional, bottom-line orientation - a result-oriented specialist.

Superior (or excellent) communication skills - the highest ability to communicate.

Strong work ethic - strict adherence to work ethics.

Met or exceeded expectations - meet or exceed expectations.

Proven track record of success - there is a verified list of achievements.

Works well with all levels of staff - I work well with employees of all levels.

Team player - I know how to work in a team.

Experts of the Ready Resume service will help you create a resume without verbal garbage, aimed at your career goals.