Running in a vicious circle. Why Problems Recur

“Everything seems to be fine, I don’t touch anyone.
Why do drunkards always get attached to me?

Is your life like a vicious circle? It seems that you live on the positive, but still, with frightening regularity, you find yourself in unpleasant situations, as if you are attracting them to yourself with your mere existence?

One of my acquaintances constantly wondered why well-drunk people stick to her so much. It stands, for example, at a bus stop, there are a lot of people around, but it was she who always became the object of close attention. And every time the story ended in conflict and terrible health. She cursed with them in almost all public places.

Another was amazed at the aggression of the sellers. With "enviable" regularity, she faced overt rudeness and neglect. Although she saw a good half of them for the first time.

Another acquaintance is laid off for the third time.

"Destiny...", you might think.

No. All these people are victims of a vicious circle. The sad thing is that we ourselves are its creator.

If unpleasant situations are cyclically repeated in your life, do not worry. You created them, you will get rid of them. The fact is that some events can affect us so much that, even having licked the “external” wounds, we cannot fully cope with the internal ones. Our unconscious plays a cruel joke, again and again experiencing the past conflict.

How to break the chains of the vicious circle?

You have to talk with your inner self, the so-called "unconscious":

What do these situations have in common? It is advisable to pay attention to details and focus on your words and actions. And also analyze the behavior of other people involved in an unpleasant situation.

Remember when it all started. To do this, you can simply ask yourself one question: “When else did this happen?” This is a very important point! You need to find the very first link in your vicious circle.

Relax as much as possible. If you want, just lie down on the sofa or sit in a comfortable chair. And, sincerely, as a spirit, answer two main questions:
- What should I understand from this situation?
- Why is this happening to me?

Forgive everyone who harmed you, thank the Universe for the lesson and let go of the situation.

Your inner dialogue will bring you true healing. And do not even doubt the effectiveness of this method.

My first example is a girl who was being chased by drunken people who remembered that a long time ago, when she was little, she was very frightened by a drunken man. This so shocked her that since then she fiercely hated all drunk people. And this inner discomfort has attracted similar situations to her for many years. They were repeated, because her unconscious saw in each new person its old fright. It took the girl two whole days to convince herself that drunk people are not a threat and have the right to exist. And as soon as she forgave them, life changed overnight. All conflicts ceased, and drunks no longer molested. The vicious circle is broken.

In my observation, many people become victims of their long-forgotten beliefs. But our unconscious remembers everything. Talk to him and remove unnecessary experiences.

Good luck to you! And do not forget, you are capable of even the impossible! Believe in yourself.

Anastasia Volkova for the site

“Your happiness cannot come from outside. If so, then this is a dependent, fragile happiness that will soon turn into sadness.

J. Foster

My World has been my main teacher for a very long time. He always shows me where to look and what to accept in myself in order to become even more free.

My World with great love reflects to me my beliefs and convictions, all my fears and doubts. Everything that has been collected by me over many lifetimes and accepted as my experience.

Having once set a goal to come to inner freedom, my world every day gives me hints about what I need to accept in myself.

The theme of addiction has accompanied me since childhood.

My dad was addicted to alcohol. And not only dad, in my world there were a huge number of men and women with various types of clearly manifested addiction.

Read also:!? Think about it, what was "alcohol" originally? Wine is grape juice with sugar. Vodka is a wheat drink, etc.

About other dependencies, I didn’t even think about it then. Many years of rejection of alcohol, resentment against my father, years of letters of forgiveness... When we came to understand that we think in images, I looked at the image "alcohol" very first. This topic was so painful for me.

What is addiction?

This is Subordination to others, to someone else's will, someone else's power, in the absence of independence, freedom.

Addiction(addiction, English addiction - propensity, habit) - an obsessive need to perform certain actions, despite the adverse consequences of a medical, psychological or social nature.

In a different meaning addiction(English dependence - dependence) - the desire to rely on another person (or other people) to obtain satisfaction, security, achieve their goals.

What do we depend on and what does the World show us when we meet dependent people?

1) We depend on the love of others

Love and addiction are not just different, but almost opposite, in their essence, phenomena.

Love brings joy, and addiction brings suffering, or painful, poisonous, short-term pleasure, similar to the pleasure of a drug addict. Love allows everything to be, and addiction is always mixed with Fear and a sense of separation.

For example: a woman does everything for her husband or children, gives all her strength, dissolves in the family, lives for the sake of others. Suddenly the husband leaves, the children grow up and live their own lives. The world collapsed, everything lost its meaning.

What is the fear of this woman? The fact that she actually made certain sacrifices for a reason; giving her strength, her youth, dissolving in the family, she sought to get something in return - most often unconsciously. Get in return full understanding, unconditional acceptance, love, gratitude, security.

We forgot that Love, acceptance, a sense of security cannot be obtained from the outside, no matter how much we look for it in the outside world.

Read also: . Now is the time to love ourselves, and without it, everything else that we strive for will either elude us or will be given to us with great difficulty.

2) We depend on the approval of relatives

Many, like air, need approval, which means the love of other people. Most often, we are waiting for approval from our loved ones, and when we do not receive approval, we are offended. Remembering that you already have everything you need, and it is inside you, you stop looking for approval, which means support and love from the outside, you yourself begin to give it, from excess, because you are the Source. You approve of yourself. And yet you attract people who approve and support you.

3) We depend on the state of love and joy

Once having experienced a state of love and joy, I began to strive for this state, I did hundreds of excavations, loaded various feelings into myself, struggled with a state of apathy and laziness. And the state of joy was a rare guest inside me. I ran away from the state of dislike, I fought with it and did not accept it.

We are looking for a state from the outside. We read prayers, sing mantras, striving to get a state of harmony and joy.

If we have received temporary relief from prayer, we resort to prayer more and more often. If we have received relief from chanting mantras or listening to meditations, we resort more and more to what we think gives us a state of calm. This is how addiction is born..

We tie our state of joy and love to certain places, people or events.

Read also: An article by Natalia Strihar: it is impossible to please everyone, much less be loved by everyone. You are not a banknote. Love is a gift, a gift from the heart.

Joy always lives within us! When we go inside ourselves, we find within ourselves an inexhaustible source of Joy.

4) We depend on having money

A lot of people have this type of addiction. If there is money, the state is joyful and upbeat, if the money runs out - despondency and fear. Did you know the status? One day I was vividly aware of this state within myself. As a rule, we see it in other people, in a husband or children. The whole truth is that what you saw in your family is yours. Theirs is what they see in you!

When the state of love and joy does not depend on external factors, on the presence or absence of money, when we realize ourselves as a source, then then comes freedom.

5) We depend on recognition

We all need recognition, recognition of our individuality, recognition of us as individuals, recognition of our merits. We are accustomed to seeking, asking, demanding recognition from other people or, by working hard and hard, getting it. When we ourselves recognize ourselves, value our experience, our personality, then others will reflect this to us. All we need is recognition of ourselves!

6) We depend on the states of other people

If a husband or wife is happy and joyful, we feel good and have fun. As soon as loved ones are not in the mood - our mood disappears ...

The dependent person feels helpless and needs constant support.

Flight into addiction It is the rejection of the choice that any person has. Instead of becoming dependent, which means choosing a life full of hopeless suffering and pain, you can always make a choice in favor of yourself, your happiness and your joy, which do not depend on external sources and circumstances.

Since childhood, we have a need for unconditional love, full acceptance, self-expression, emotional communication, understanding and fulfillment of needs. If the child has not received this in the family, over time, he may begin to use chemicals to protect his Self, to regain a sense of comfort, security, and calmness. But, at the same time, access to his feelings is closed for him, and this, in turn, causes a very high internal tension and the inability to satisfy his needs in healthy ways. This is precisely the role of the use of chemical agents, with their help people change their state, achieving a feeling of "relief".

Hello dear friends!

Have a magical time of day! Tell me honestly, how often do you swear or try to take out your bad mood, fatigue or irritability on someone from your loved ones? Especially often we fall into a similar state when we return home after a busy day, and there ... Sometimes it is difficult to control the very process of splashing out negativity, and for some it can even drag on for more than one hour. Mutual reproaches, claims begin, and the evening turns into a shootout with sharp phrases.

How to stop your flow of irritability? As they say, they grumbled a little, and that's enough ...

Everything is much easier than you think. If you feel that you are "going too far", but you swear like a wind-up, replace all the words that fly out to you with "BU". And chant as much as you want. By the way, you can leave the intonation as it is. Believe me, in a couple of minutes there will be no trace of your negativity!

And today we will talk about the phenomenon of a vicious circle and find out how to get out of it ...

“Everything seems to be fine, I don’t touch anyone.
Why do drunkards always get attached to me?

Another was amazed at the aggression of the sellers. With "enviable" regularity, she faced overt rudeness and neglect. Although she saw a good half of them for the first time.

Another acquaintance is laid off for the third time.

"Destiny...", you might think.

No. All these people are victims of a vicious circle. The sad thing is that we ourselves are its creator.

How to break the chains of the vicious circle?

You have to talk with your inner self, the so-called "unconscious":

1. What do these situations have in common? It is advisable to pay attention to details and focus on your words and actions. And also analyze the behavior of other people involved in an unpleasant situation.

2. Remember when it all started. To do this, you can simply ask yourself one question: “When else did this happen?” This is a very important point! You need to find the very first link in your vicious circle.

3. Relax as much as possible. If you want, just lie down on the sofa or sit in a comfortable chair. And, sincerely, as a spirit, answer two main questions:
What should I understand from this situation?
Why is this happening to me?

4. Forgive everyone who harmed you, thank the Universe for the lesson and let go of the situation.

Your inner dialogue will bring you true healing. And do not even doubt the effectiveness of this method.

In my observation, many people become victims of their long-forgotten beliefs. But our unconscious remembers everything. Talk to him and remove unnecessary experiences.

Good luck to you! And do not forget, you are capable of even the impossible! Believe in yourself.
In the library of wizards of the site "Dreams Come True" you can find wonderful books by V. Zhikarentsev, which contain amazing techniques for finding the causes of your pressing problems. Read and change your life for the better!

Time inexorably flies forward - this is a well-known truth that cannot be denied and cannot be denied. And at one “wonderful” moment, a reduction in the number of fans, or even their absence, becomes noticeable.

You begin to remember how in the past, boyfriends lined up to once again dance a slow dance with you, showered you with flowers not only on your birthday and March 8, but just like that, for no reason. They offered a ride home to work. And now the situation has changed dramatically, flowers only for a birthday, and then from colleagues or relatives. You come to clubs with your girlfriends and leave the same way with them, and if you come to get acquainted, then these are either men far from middle-aged, or completely young. The situation is the same on dating sites. And so you want a man to be smart, to have something to talk about, and sometimes just keep quiet. Yes, and age, of course, preferably yours and equal in status.

You probably survived the blow of betrayal, after which there was neither desire nor strength to start a new relationship. But as they say, “time heals”, and the spiritual wound is no longer so strong, but the habit of being alone remains. Do not let anyone close to you, this is already taken for granted.

Perhaps there were no crowds of fans before, and you always avoided noisy parties and parties, erected an impregnable wall around you. And now what to do to destroy this wall? And you no longer want a crowd of fans, but one, the very one who will take care of you.

And sometimes it happens like that - at one fine moment you decide that it's time to start a new relationship. Relationship with the prospect of marriage and the upbringing of common children. But the image of the ideal man, whom you want to see next to me, has already formed. But where can you find one?

Usually a woman begins to get acquainted on sites, while categorically brushing aside frivolous relationships. Turns to friends for help, asks them to act as a matchmaker. And so on in a circle, without achieving a result.
After all, she is no longer eighteen years old, and there is no time for this useless flirting. It is necessary that the only one who will become a husband is immediately found, because it is time to become a mother, and I am not a model. Very often you can hear such words from women: “I do not want to waste my precious time on useless communications that will not lead to anything serious. They take even more time and energy.”

In the search for a partner, as well as when shooting from a gun at a target, all additional factors must be taken into account. And additional factors are our grievances, fears, experiences, all the past that we carry with us like a suitcase without a handle. And this burden prevents you from seeing a man for who he is, without putting "labels" on him. After all, when he does not justify your high hopes, in a fit of disappointment you call him a "liar" and a "deceiver."

Therefore, the first task is not to find a man who will become an ideal husband, but to decide on new acquaintances and let it be an easy flirtation. There is a very interesting task. Meet ten men to create friendships, while treating everyone equally. Don't get too close. To create, as it were, a fairy tale in which there are fans who look after you while you are waiting for your prince.

You have decided that it is time to let a man into your life, start with nothing significant acquaintances. On the Internet, you can often see men who are looking for a relationship for one night, this is definitely not your option. There are those who write in the questionnaire that they need a woman to create a family, this is also not for you yet. For starters, just light flirting, smiles, meaningless conversations.

Often women begin to take revenge. To avenge those tears that her ex-man brought her. And this revenge is poured out not on the culprit, but on an accidental victim. Just got caught in a hot hand. After a date with a man, you shouldn’t post on the Internet how bad he is, “I didn’t buy flowers, didn’t take me to a cafe, and in general he’s a goat.” There will be many sympathizers, but what's the point. But at the same time, you will believe even more that "all men are their own ...".

You should not reject from the first meeting someone who did not live up to your expectations from the first minute. You need to take into account the little things and just be grateful that the person showed interest and came on a date, despite the distance and time. Perhaps this person in the future will help you open up and will be the one and only who pulled you out of the cocoon of loneliness. And perhaps he will prepare you for a meeting with your prince. Be more supportive, even if you don't see that person again.

The introductory training “My family is my wealth” is continued by another article by Tatyana Kuznetsova. Today we will talk about Karma, namely, such an interesting direction as family karma. This is a fairly broad topic, and today we will analyze the most burning issues.

How does the Soul choose parents?
Why do children often repeat their parents' fate?
What happens to the karma of adopted children?
Do family diseases "travel" from generation to generation?
How does the Soul choose a life partner?
How many generations can problems be passed on?

General Karma, is there any?

If every person is an individual, then everyone has their own Karma. The soul comes into this world to solve its problems, to get the life experience it needs only. And in this case, the question arises: does family karma exist at all?

And on the other hand: sometimes you watch a family with a detached, impartial look and you understand that they have the same problems. These people - each with their own karma - repeat the fate of each other from generation to generation.

Why is this happening?

When the Soul is preparing for incarnation on Earth, it already faces certain tasks, it has its own mission.

The soul is aware

What experience does she need to get in this incarnation
What does she need to learn, what lessons to pass
What injuries and problems to work out
What to fix for the period of its implementation
What future to create for yourself - for the next life

And in accordance with the “homework”, the Soul chooses a family that is ideal for solving problems in the best possible way.

Do you want an example? You are welcome. If the task is to work out grievances against men, then the Soul will incarnate into a woman and choose a family in which the father will leave them immediately after birth or will behave rudely and aggressively.

If a girl cannot forgive her father and accept him, whatever he may be, then she will carry these grievances into her adult life. She will play this "broken record" in a relationship with her own husband.

In fact, she will still be offended by her father, but transfer these feelings to her husband.

What will happen in her own family is not difficult to guess. If she does not understand this in time and does not work it out, then she will destroy her relationship, and her family. Then maybe another husband, and another ...

And if a daughter was born to her, then the daughter, in turn, will be offended by her father, that he left them with her mother. As you can see, history "for some reason" repeats itself. The daughter's soul also solves similar problems.

How are the karmic affairs with adopted children?

Why does a particular child end up in a particular family - one of thousands? In order not to go into the wilds of cause-and-effect relationships, we highlight the main thing: The soul of an adopted child performs two tasks:

1. Actually adoption.Children usually know that they have been adopted. Their highest task is to learn to forgive and accept what happened, to learn to be happy.

2. Other tasks for implementation. The soul does not accidentally fall into this foster family. If this happened, it means that this family is the best suited for the Soul to fulfill life programs. It is this family that gives new opportunities. Will the Soul cope, will it use all the opened potential? Without a detailed analysis of each situation, it is difficult to say.

Traveler illnesses, or "interest club".

If the same diseases are repeated from generation to generation in the family, this is also not accidental. There is a genetic predisposition to such "journeys" of diseases, and there is a psychological one, which is often not taken into account.

For example, cancer is not inherited, but attitudes towards oneself, towards other people, towards the world are transmitted from parents. Outlook on life, unwillingness to change, the habit of being offended, accumulating negativity, being dissatisfied with oneself and others - this forms an ideal soil for the emergence and development of oncological diseases.

If a person does not change in relation to himself and the world, then it is likely that he will repeat the fate and illness of his parents. Repetition after repetition leads to the fact that souls are united in a kind of “interest club” - offended by men, unhappy in their personal lives, having similar health problems and other hereditary “charms”.

There are thousands of examples - they are all around us, and maybe in some way we are one of the examples.

A girl whose father suffers from alcoholism also marries an alcoholic...

A boy who grew up without a father leaves his son at about the same age...

The father died early, and the son subconsciously expects (read - programs) his own death at the same age ...

Mom constantly came across kind, but "unlucky" men, and for some reason, her daughter, taught by bitter experience, chooses the same misunderstanding as her life companions ...

How long can this go on?!

If you do nothing, humbly endure, resign yourself to “fate”, in other words, be lazy, then the journey of diseases and the same problems can continue for generations.Until someone of the most conscious in the family really gets tired of it.How to break this vicious circle?

"Adult person always has a choice" -

That's what my teacher at the university used to say.

The Soul incarnates not only with tasks that it needs to solve, in addition to tasks, the Soul always has the main thing - an opportunity. It's like a master who comes to change your faucet in the kitchen, always has the right key, the right rubber gasket or nut in his pocket. Just unlike the master repairman, the Soul is always equipped with the necessary tools.

When you manage to break the chain of problems, this opens up the opportunity to live in a new way for other family members and future generations. They, too, will benefit from new experiences and perspectives.We learn from other people not only the bad, but also the good.

If the daughter has let go of her grudges against men and lives happily, then the mother may unconsciously copy new behaviors, new ways of thinking, and new attitudes towards men.

And even if already in adulthood, but the mother can reconsider her life, relationships with a man, and at some point just become happy.

If one person in the family managed to solve the problem, this is a sign for everyone that the problem can be solved for them too, and there is no need to be afraid of it or continue to endure it.

Three conditions for solving our problems.

If you want to change something, if you have realized that this is exactly your role, then forward to change! You will achieve results faster if you follow these simple rules.

1. Willingness to act.

You need not just a desire, but an intention to get out of the vicious circle, a willingness to change your life for the better. So that it would not be like in the famous dialogue:

Ah, I want to go to Paris again.

Has been?

Already wanted to.

2. Tools and knowledge!

Methods and techniques, practices and meditations, articles and communication with students and Masters will help you. Actually, for this we conduct an Introductory training and the main Course "Happy Family", so that you realize the need, act and understand what result you want to achieve.

3. Support for other people.

It is difficult to look at oneself from an absolutely detached, cold-blooded and even someone else's point of view - but this is necessary. Often people need an impulse from outside to start the process of change. You can study on your own, read books and try everything you read on yourself. But, as practice shows, it is much more effective to work in a group - under the control of the Master and with the support of other students.

Our problems - where do the legs grow from?

In system psychology, there is a term "karmic weaves", people say "fatal connections". This is when traumatic situations are repeated in a person’s life, and no matter how much a person works with himself, they do not go away. Because they are drawn to him through time space from his predecessors.

People and faces change, but the nature of the recurring problem is the same - separations, quarrels, loss of property or fires, loss of work, etc.

When a certain situation happened in your family, and at that moment it was not fully lived - not released by the actors (the offenders were not forgiven, there was a nagging pain, a feeling of shame, anger, powerlessness, etc.), then these feelings do not disappear. They remain in the family field.

The next generations fall under the influence of these feelings. Perhaps you do too. Remember situations are attracted to you in which you experience “like once a mother or great-grandmother”, you again live these feelings of loss, guilt, loss. Feelings seem to be justified, but the experience is not yours, the ancestors.

What to do in this case?

It is important to recognize and respectfully remember the person in whose life a negative situation happened for the first time. You need to recognize his fate and be grateful for the contribution to your family system.

Such a step leads to an important effect, which we call "disidentification", or, simply speaking, the rupture of the fatal connection. After that, you, like a ship that has been tied to reefs for years, suddenly break the restraining bonds of old algae and finally set off on a free voyage.

We will deal with this in detail at the 2nd stage of the Happy Family course - it is dedicated specifically to the healing of negative birth programs, hereditary problems and diseases.

Tatyana and I prepared a theory, practical exercises and four meditations:

1. Genogram of the genus - You are filled with the strength and power of your kind, and you know dangerous places and avoid them.

2. healing speakerand - you got out of the vicious circle of recurring problems and illnesses, gained freedom and opened new horizons for happiness, success, well-being.

3. Healing personal destiny- You broke the fatal connection with a dysfunctional fate, gained the opportunity to be yourself and follow your desires. You have stopped attracting the wrong partners into your life.

4. Treasure box- You removed the old scenarios by which you used to build problematic relationships, and replaced them with new ones - desirable and leading to happiness.

Do you want to practice right now?

Let's do an exercise. And at the same time, this practice will serve as a preparation for the second online seminar, which will be held on March 20 (Thursday) - with Tatyana Kuznetsova. At the seminar we will talk about these destructive programs in the family field. And not only talk.

We will have theory, practical exercise and meditation to start the healing process now.

But that's next Thursday, and now do the preparatory exercise, and write about the results in the comments.

An exercise

Think of an unpleasant/problematic situation that repeats itself over and over again in your life. It could be a life situation or a health issue.
Pay attention to the emotions and feelings that come. Write them down - maybe you get one item, or maybe a list of several items
Now ask yourself a question - who else in my family has / had similar events? Write down the answers.

These notes will be useful to you on Thursday,when we do the meditation "Healing the Family Field" - in meditation you can start healing these problems.

As we have already said, we will work deeper with this topic in our main course “Happy Family”. To read about the Course and sign up for one or all three levels at oncefollow this link .

By the way, did you noticehow closely our psychology resonates with esotericism? This approach - when practicing psychologists combine their knowledge with Reiki practices - has proven to be effective, especially when working with personal and family relationships. Therefore, this approach has become the hallmark of our School.

Tomorrow all participants of the free Introductory Training will receive another practical exercise by mail. Which? While a secret. Wait for tomorrow's letter. If you have not signed up for the Introductory training yet, fill out the form below and you will be able to receive all the theoretical and practical materials.

And tonight, a nice letter awaits you. Follow the posting.