If a person does not look at the interlocutor. When a teenager does not make eye contact

Some people ask why a person does not make eye contact when talking. Sometimes there can be several reasons for this, the reception is completely different. Therefore, it is impossible to say that a person is lying or hiding something.

Reasons why a person does not make eye contact

Shyness or self-doubt;
If he wants to hide something, such as affection or love;
The insincerity of his feelings. On the contrary, he can hide something, that he is married, married or other acts;
Heavy look. People who are very powerful have an incredibly heavy gaze that pierces and is unpleasant to others. Cold, as if empty, embittered eyes, not everyone will like it;
Does not want to give information about himself, used to avoid answering, often lies;
No interest in the interlocutor, fatigue.

Other reasons:

When there's just nothing to say

Looking straight ahead imposes some obligations, such as answering honestly a question that has not yet been answered. I don't want to lie, but I can't tell the truth either. That is why a person hides his gaze and leaves the answer. There can be many reasons. And not always an open “honest” supposedly look says that a person is not lying. They just perfectly withstand the eye at point blank range. Such people are accustomed to, and their eyes are quite trained.

If shy and vulnerable

Do not pay special attention to this fact. Not everyone likes to be in a close environment, many are annoyed by the crowd, views from all sides. If one is confident in himself, then the other may be in constant turmoil. Therefore, you should not judge by the look and assume that since a person does not look into the eyes, it means that he is lying, in love or wants to deceive. Maybe he's just not sure of himself or doesn't want to show his weaknesses. People are different. Education, habits or temperament very often leave their mark.

How to make a person look into the eyes?

If a person does not look into the eyes, then you can try to look into them furtively. Call for a conversation on an interesting topic, intrigue, ask a difficult question and see the reaction. Many people are open at this time. You can look at his communication with other people. If a person does not look into the eyes constantly, perhaps he has such a character. May be stubborn or hide feelings. He cannot control himself all the time, so sooner or later he will be able to look into his eyes.

Not all people like to look directly at the interlocutor. Some people don't like looking straight at all. If a person avoids looking, it does not mean that he is hiding something or not finishing, maybe he just has such a style of communication. Most often, people who look away are shy, not self-confident. Also, some people do not look in the eyes if their parents, leaders are authoritarian, or they have a habit of obeying. It’s easier to lower your eyes and say “yes” to them than to hold your gaze.

There are different types of eyes. Some radiate light, others want to run away. Looking into the eyes, you can see a person is sad or happy, angry or calm, even diseases can be unraveled. This is the most mysterious organ. Mystics attribute magical powers to them, physicists say that impulses come from them that can act on other people. Why doesn't the person make eye contact? Let's take a look at this in the article.

Not without reason, some people can directly and openly to the interlocutor, others look away. For some reason, it is believed that a person who looks straight ahead is honest, and one who looks away is a liar. Is everything really so and what do psychologists and scientists think about it? Is eye to eye good or is it negative? Psychologists believe that there is some truth in this, especially if there are concomitant factors: eyes run, a person touches his face and blinks very often. All this allows you to suspect the interlocutor of a lie and not really trust him.

But there are skillful liars, you can’t figure them out by these signs, they have learned to control themselves and can look straight into the eyes, as if checking whether the interlocutor believes them or not. Should all those who hide their eyes be considered liars? It turns out it's not worth it. There are many other reasons why people look away.

Among those who do not look directly at the interlocutor

Shy and insecure people. They try not to look the interlocutor in the eye, afraid to betray their feelings.
A person who does not want his opponent to find out any information about him. It is believed that one second of gazing into the eyes reveals more information than three hours of communication.
Heavy look. Since ancient times, people were afraid of the evil eye, as if cold, sliding into the inside of the gaze. Not everyone is able to withstand this. This look makes me want to hide.
The interlocutor is uninteresting, except for a glance, he gives out yawns, interrupting the conversation over trifles, constantly looking at the time.
Too much stare causes irritation. Few enjoy that kind of attention.
When a person is upset about something or hides information, he does not look into the eyes of the interlocutor.
If the question turned out to be very difficult, in order to concentrate, the interlocutor looks away.

These are just the most popular reasons, in fact, there are many more. It turns out that according to the type of perception, all people are divided into four groups and each has its own characteristics.

Types of people's perception

visual

He needs to consider everything, so he looks directly into the eyes, trying to read all the information. Thirty percent of the population is of this type.

Audial

He doesn't make eye contact, he doesn't need to. For this type of people, the voice, its color, melody, timbre is important. They look away. There are not so many of them, only ten percent.

kinesthetic

This is a person who strives to touch his arm, shoulder, touch is important to him, he pays attention to movement, smell. And these people are the most, there are forty percent of them.

Digital

This is a person to whom the content is important, what is the object of attention. He draws attention to some useful qualities for him. He looks for meaning in everything. And only after that, will consider the interlocutor. Only 20% digital. Whatever type of person an individual person is, it must be remembered that not looking away for a long time can be considered bad manners. English scientists believe that the direct gaze of the interlocutor lasts an average of 7 seconds. It should be noted that what nationality a person also plays an important role, due to their mentality, not everyone can look into the eyes.

How people of different nationalities look

Representatives of European and Latin American nations look into each other's eyes and this is considered the norm. An American male who looks into a man's eyes for a long time may be suspected of being gay. Among Armenians, Georgians, Turks and Arabs, a woman should not look into the eyes of a man, her gaze is directed downwards, as a sign of respect for a man. The gaze of the Chinese is directed to the bottom of the face, to look directly into the eyes, this is a bad form. The Japanese never consider interlocutors. This is not allowed by their etiquette. For Russians, it is also considered the norm, only for a little, they linger on the look during a conversation.

For all nationalities, eye contact can be regarded as an attempt to impose their point of view. It may indicate a desire for the superiority of one person over another. There is also an intimate look. The eyes of lovers shine with a special light. And they can look at each other for a long time.

Men and women

Will carefully look at the fair sex, if he is in love with her. But if this is a stranger, then most likely he is experiencing aggression and is hostile. To understand what exactly a representative of the opposite sex is experiencing, it is worth looking at the pupil, if he likes a lady, then they expand, if he is angry, then they narrow. But it is worth remembering that the pupils can have the same reaction to light.

Another trick that will help you find out if a man is interested or not. Psychologists believe that if a look lasts less than 4 seconds, then, alas, if more than 8 seconds, you can count on sympathy. often play with the eyes. And lowered eyelashes can mean coquetry. When a woman's gaze is directed upwards, and not at the object of attention, it is believed that she has no romantic intentions. She is looking for profit. Contrary to the belief that eye contact is a good sign, there are times when it is not necessary.

It is considered unacceptable to stare into the eyes of another child. Children's eyes are the most open, hence all sorts of fears. According to popular belief, a close look can lead to the evil eye. It is advisable to avoid the gaze of gypsies, for your own safety, so as not to fall under the hypnotic influence. According to some unspoken rule, it is better not to make eye contact with a person of higher rank.

There are a lot of reasons to look away, it’s impossible to list them all, for example, even the distance affects how long the interlocutor can withstand the look. The closer a person is, the shorter the eye contact, and vice versa, the farther away, the easier it is to make eye contact. Whether a person looks directly into the eyes or looks away, it does not matter. The main thing is what feeling from this is experienced by the one at whom the gaze is directed. If communication brings joy, then probably you should not look for dirty tricks, but just enjoy the dialogue.

Psychologists say that a person who hides his eyes or looks away in a dialogue can be either a very modest person or a liar. And the truth is that the one whose eyes are "running around" gives the impression of a not too decent person. But people often do not like to look eye to eye, and this is not connected with thoughts of stealing or cheating something. Why do we look away? Do liars make eye contact? Modern science has its own answers to these and other questions.

Eyes are the mirror of the soul

Specialists at the University of California are convinced that the quality of communication is 93% determined by non-verbal means. Body language, tonality, timbre of the voice and, of course, the expression of the eyes - all this helps to understand what a person really wants to say.

Other figures are given in a study led by Steven Janick and Rodney Wellens from the University of Miami in Florida: 44% of attention during communication is focused on the eyes and only 12% on the mouth. It is the eyes that are the “litmus test” of our emotions: they reflect fear, disappointment, bitterness, joy ... But then why do we look away so often?

Trying to focus

Psychologists Fiona Phelps and Gwyneth Doherty Sneddon, in their work The Look of Disgust, tried to determine the dependence of the duration of a look on the method of obtaining information and the level of its complexity. They conducted an experiment in which two groups of 8-year-old children were asked easy and difficult questions, while the first received information on a face-to-face basis, and the second received information through a video monitor.

It turned out that the more difficult the question was, the more often the child looked away in an attempt to concentrate and find the answer. Interestingly, this situation was observed more often in groups where the dialogue was built face to face.

Lier? Lier!

There is a strong stereotype that during a lie a person is not able to look the interlocutor in the eyes. However, British psychologists from the University of Portsmouth are sure that everything is happening exactly the opposite.

The liar wants to make sure that his "noodles" are securely settled on your ears, so he constantly monitors your emotions, gazing into your eyes. But is this behavior effective?

Power of persuasion

Sometimes liars do the same: knowing that the interlocutor will be unpleasantly surprised by a shifty glance, he looks intently through the person, directing his gaze to the area of his nose.

A series of experiments conducted by psychologists Francis Chen of the University of British Columbia and Julia Minson of the Kennedy School at Harvard University showed that the more closely a speaker looks into the eyes of an interlocutor, the less convincing their speeches seem. Have you ever noticed that many public figures do not look into the eyes, but a little lower or at the bridge of the nose? Close eye contact can often be interpreted as a clear attempt to impose one's point of view.

One on one

British scientists from the University of Portsmouth also proved that people look into the eyes of the interlocutor longer if they are alone with him - an average of 7-10 seconds. This time is reduced to 3-5 seconds if communication takes place in groups.

flirting triangle

A smile, a wink, a long look straight into the eyes ... Such behavior is regarded in modern society as an attempt to flirt. Probably, many of us avoid prolonged eye contact for this very reason. Suddenly a person thinks something is not right?

Communications consultant Susan Rabin, in her book 101 Ways to Flirt, confirms this stereotype: long eye contact is extremely important for flirting, while men and women use different "techniques". If representatives of the strong half of humanity prefer a direct look, which they subconsciously consider to be a manifestation of strength and courage, then women “glide” their gaze along the so-called “flirting triangle”: the lady first visually examines the entire “object”, if the “test” is passed by the subject successfully, the gaze “rests” on the eyes.

Cause of misfortune

Dr. Peter Hills, who teaches psychology at Anglia Ruskin University, co-authored with Dr. Michael Lewis of Cardiff University, published an article saying that unhappy people try to avoid eye contact.

They are more likely to pay attention to a new hairstyle, beautiful shoes or perfume. Perhaps this is because the suffering person does not want to dive into the true emotional state of the interlocutor. He has his own problems "above the roof"!

Visual, auditory or kinesthetic?

Neuro-linguists offer their own explanation. Whether a person likes to look into the eyes or tries to quickly look away - it depends on the way he thinks. Visuals think in terms of visual images, which is why it is so necessary for them to focus on the eyes in order to "read" the missing information.

For auditory people, sounds are important - they are more likely to listen to the timbre and intonations of the voice, looking somewhere to the side. Kinesthetics, relying on intuition and tactile sensations, during communication try to touch the interlocutor, hug, shake hands, while they usually look down.

Aggression, or What does he need?

Social psychologist Julia A. Minson is convinced that eye contact, on the one hand, is a very intimate process, on the other hand, it can reflect the desire of one person to dominate another.

"Animals will never look each other's eyes," says Julia, "unless they are going to then fight for dominance." Indeed, a person staring at you intently gives rise to a feeling of anxiety and a lot of questions.

If this is a stranger in public transport or at a deserted stop, then the question immediately arises: “What does he need?” Nervousness can lead to mutual aggression. If a colleague, a good friend or a nice saleswoman in a supermarket is staring intently into the eyes, you want to quickly look at yourself in the mirror and check if parsley has stuck to your teeth during lunch or if mascara has flowed. Each of us has experienced similar feelings of embarrassment, so often we prefer to quickly look away.

Sep 20, 2016 tigress…s

Not so long ago, through a series of experiments, British scientists found that in just one second, when people meet eyes, they exchange an amount of information comparable to what is obtained in three hours of live communication. In psychology, it is said that because of this, some people find it difficult to look into the eyes of the interlocutor for a long time.

Practice not looking away while talking. This will help you make new friends faster and also build favorable business relationships.

Another reason is already in the person whose eyes are looked into. This can be very annoying, irritating, and nervous. It seems that the interlocutor is trying to "read" you, listening to every word and creating his own personal opinion. It is unlikely that such moments cause positive emotions, and a person tends to quickly look away.

It is very difficult for men or women who seem to deliberately drill with their heavy eyes to show, for example, their superiority over the interlocutor. Already from the first seconds of such communication it becomes uncomfortable, there is a strong desire to lower your eyes to the floor.

The ability to make eye contact is an important quality in communication.

Uncertainty and boredom

Very often, looking away while talking can be a sign of shyness. With the help of a glance, you can express your attitude to the object, show interest, demonstrate a feeling of love. Also in the look it can be read that it is difficult for a person to find words for a conversation, his nervousness and so on. Therefore, the eyes are turned aside so as not to tell too much about themselves ahead of time and show themselves not in the best possible way.

Uncertainty and lack of concentration also often cause people not to look into the eyes of the interlocutor. Sometimes it can be difficult to find a common language with this or that person, because of which the interlocutor lowers his eyes, begins to nervously touch something in his hands, pulls his ears or hair, thereby betraying his excitement. Such people are simply not sure that they behave and speak correctly.

There are very common cases when they do not look into the eyes of the interlocutor because he is simply uninteresting. In such a situation, there is simply no point in exchanging information both on a verbal and non-verbal level. It is enough to simply recognize whether the interlocutor is bored with you. In addition to the lowered gaze, such a person will also be characterized by other signs of his disinterest: frequent glancing at his watch,

Eye contact or not? Many people are scratching their heads over this question. It is believed that they do not look into the eyes only when they are deceiving. And psychologists assure that this is not so, and offer several options for possible reasons why a person may not look into the eyes of another during a conversation.

British scientists conducted a series of experiments and found that in just one second of time, when people look into each other's eyes, they receive the amount of information that they can get in three hours of active communication. This is partly why it is always very difficult to look into the eyes of the interlocutor and the person has to look away.

In addition, it has been proven that when a person constantly looks at another and eye to eye, it is very annoying and makes you nervous. After all, it seems that he is trying to "read" you. And nobody wants this.

In some cases, looking away when talking is considered a sign of shyness, which is scientifically confirmed. With a glance, you can give out all your attitude to the object, since both interest, and love, and interest make the eyes shine in a special way. And if a person does not want you to understand his feelings right now (maybe it's too early?), Then he will not be able to look you in the eyes all the time.

It is also impossible to look into the eyes of that person whose gaze is "boring", heavy. Already literally from the first seconds of communication with such an interlocutor it becomes very uncomfortable, unpleasant and uncomfortable. Such a look presses and makes you look away.

Self-doubt is another point why people can't look straight in the eye. If your interlocutor sorts something in his hands during the conversation, nervously crumples a napkin, pulls his ears, the tip of his nose or hair, then he thereby betrays a deep emotional excitement. This means that he will also avoid direct eye contact, as he is not sure of his actions. And he doesn’t know what exactly needs to be done now and what look is most appropriate for you to “send”.

Of course, there are also those cases when a person does not look into the eyes of the interlocutor simply because the latter is not interesting to him. Then there is no point in exchanging information both verbally and non-verbally. To recognize that the reason is precisely in boredom is necessary as quickly as possible so as not to conduct unnecessary conversations. Plus, it's pretty easy to do. In addition to a lowered gaze, a person will show other signs of disinterest: emphasized glancing at the clock, sometimes yawning, constantly interrupting the conversation under the pretext of answering a phone call, etc. In this case, it is better to say goodbye to the interlocutor as soon as possible.

If you want to have no problems with communication, practice not looking away when talking. Then it will be easier for you to make new friends and build working relationships.