If you feel. Emotional dullness or just burnout: what to do if you don’t feel anything? If you feel unattractive

Oh, this terrible state: when you wake up in the morning, you feel as if you never went to bed. The body aches, the head is heavy, like a cast-iron iron, all thoughts are not about the coming day, but about how to return home as soon as possible and reunite with the bed. Such a dream will not give productivity at work either, because if you feel that you did not get enough sleep, then it is most likely the case. The reason is that your sleep is not efficient enough, and many factors can be to blame. We decided to look into this problem and help you solve it once and for all.

Lack of normal sleep

This is the simplest reason that can explain this ailment. You just . This may be due to several reasons. Perhaps you do not follow the regime and go to bed at random. If you go to bed at 11:00 pm and wake up at 7:00 am, you will feel much better than if you go to bed at 2 am and wake up at 11 am.

You will feel overwhelmed and not get enough sleep, and you will return to normal only in the afternoon. The built mode is the key to a good rest, in addition, healthy sleep directly affects brain activity. And if you train, then the growth of muscle mass depends on the rest.

The second point is the number of hours you spend sleeping. To feel in good shape, you need to sleep for 8 hours, otherwise fatigue will accumulate, which can develop into chronic lack of sleep. This promises weight loss and reduced work capacity, so do not think that you will be able to walk a lot every day and sleep for 4 hours. Over time, this will lead to a breakdown of the nervous system.

Poor nutrition

One reason could be food. Yes, you can look healthy but not get the nutrition you need. Improper nutrition is one of the most common reasons why in the morning you feel like you just resurrected, and not woke up.

To avoid this, you must eat a balanced diet, including vegetables, fruits, and greens in your diet. It is necessary to consume enough Vitamin A, C and B12, calcium, magnesium and zinc are important for brain health. You can drink a complex of vitamins - they will make up for the lack of substances in your body, which you did not even suspect.

chronic stress

A person who lives in constant stress cannot even dream of normal, healthy sleep. Nervous work, domestic squabbles, personal experiences - all this is fraught with sleep disorders. The workplace literally generates stress, because often we not only have obligations to our employer, but also bear financial responsibility. It gives rise to fears, which puts a person in a state of constant stress. Nervous tension accumulates and often does not find a way out, and at the moment when one should sleep, thoughts do not allow to fall asleep. The brain continues to work, thinking how to solve this or that situation.

If there is no way to change jobs, then find a way to throw out the accumulated stress. Learn to rest in such a way as to completely unload your head from extraneous thoughts. Even the workplace itself can be stressful, and traveling to it through traffic and crowds is not conducive to mental peace.
Today, many employers allow employees to work remotely. Working from home does not cause so much stress, no time is wasted standing in traffic jams, and the hustle and bustle in public transport will bypass. If your presence in the office is not required, then try to discuss with the employer the prospect of working from home - this will save you time and nerves.

Passive lifestyle

Sedentary work, lack of physical activity and sports can. Life without movement is slowly killing you, because blood circulation is disturbed: the blood no longer circulates so well through the body and supplies it with all the necessary substances for normal functioning. Such stagnation negatively affects the functioning of the brain and the state of the body as a whole.

If you have a sedentary job, then actively go in for sports at least a couple of times a week, arrange jogging in the morning or evening. If this is not possible, then take breaks between work for a short workout and arrange half-hour walks every day. By the way, taking a walk and getting some fresh air before going to bed will be a great solution, because after that it is much easier to fall asleep.

Dehydration

You may be surprised, but this factor greatly affects your sleep. In order for a person to decrease attentiveness, it is enough to reduce by only 2% the required level of fluid that must be contained in the body.

Moreover, most people are chronically dehydrated. This does not mean that they are about to die, rather this indicator indicates that people do not consume enough fluid for the normal functioning of the body. Water gives the brain the energy it needs to function, including thinking and memory processes. H2O is also involved in the production of certain hormones in the brain. Keep your water balance in a normal state and try to drink as soon as you feel thirsty.

They say when you meet your man, you just understand and feel it. But what exactly will you feel?

1. You will feel ready.

When you end one relationship, you are in no hurry to start new ones, because you are afraid of getting burned again. You don't want to risk your heart again, you just want a quiet life.

But when you meet the right person, everything will make sense again. You will feel ready to open up to this person without fear that they might hurt you. Just something will click between you, and you will feel that you have met a kindred spirit.

2. You will feel that he respects your emotional needs.

When you meet the right person, he will respect everything about you. When you are sad, he will try to calm you down or just leave you alone if you so choose. On the other hand, when you are happy, he will try to double your happiness by supporting you and being happy for you.

3. You will look to the future in the same way.

It is very important that the couple has the same vision of their future. The problem starts when you want one and he wants another, but if you are absolutely compatible in your goals and dreams, then you are on the way.

4. You can be yourself with him.

It is very important to be able to relax next to your loved one. If you feel that you can not pretend next to him, that you can be yourself, then you are lucky! If he accepts you for who you are, then he loves you with all your flaws. He loves the real you, and that's the most important thing.

5. You feel happy.

The best way to know that you've met the right person is to pay attention to your emotions. If you feel like the happiest person on earth, there is no doubt that he is your soul mate.

6. You will feel that you are getting better around him.

This is a great sign! If he brings out the best in you, you will feel like you made the right choice for yourself by choosing him. You will be proud that he is with you, and you will not want to let him go.

7. Your intuition will tell you that he is your only one.

There can be many different signs that a person is right for you, but if you don’t feel it inside you, it’s all for nothing. If you see the sparkle in his eyes when he looks at you, how he touches you, how gently he kisses and caresses, then you will understand that he is your soul mate. Women have a sixth sense, so you really just feel. Yes, we can fall in love with the wrong person, but even then, deep down we know it's wrong. Just don't be afraid to follow your inner voice.

If apathy and blues are covered due to PMS or banal fatigue, there are no problems. You can easily get through all this in a couple of days with a bucket of ice cream and a vanilla movie - you yourself know.

But when indifference to life drags on, and not even for a week ... This needs to be dealt with. Most of all, the Universe does not like it when we waste our time.

Some people may simply suffer from a mental disorder in which they are not able to recognize and read the emotional background of situations, their feelings and other people.

But you do realize that they are in the minority.

Insensibility is not a cause, but a consequence of a problem that has been driven into the farthest corner - if only not to be solved.

And everything is quite understandable: unsuccessful relationships, disappointments in people, neurosis, stress at work, suppressed emotions, complexes, an excess of other people's opinions and desires in life.

The ability to “environmentally” and correctly live emotions is a real job, a valuable skill that a woman simply needs.

Attentive attitude to your feelings allows you to understand yourself, adequately analyze and evaluate your actions and reactions to different life situations.

When is the absence of feelings - it's normal, and when you need to sound the alarm? Let's find out.

neurosis and stress

While our society was quietly laughing at Americans who go to a psychologist with or without reason, we managed to accumulate and bottle up an unimaginable number of problems and unrealized emotions in ourselves.

The psyche of each of us needs the same basic hygiene as our body.

No work on yourself will be successful, no affirmations will make you enlightened if your only and main thought is to get enough sleep, for example.

Modern women have driven themselves into the framework of strength and independence, they have not learned how to take energy for all this - and they do not allow themselves to rest.

They live in a state of extreme physical and moral exhaustion, and then they wonder why they don’t feel attraction or love. Nothing.

Work on your past, on negative attitudes, so that tomorrow you can be better than today. It should - without a doubt. But if you don't feel anything, go on vacation.

I have been repeating to myself and my team for a year now: “Desire has thousands of possibilities, unwillingness has thousands of reasons.”

Think about why it’s beneficial and convenient for you to suffer and think, somewhere deep inside, and think “Why don’t I feel anything?”, “Why am I unlucky with men?”.

If you dig deep, you will find the answer. Take it with you on vacation for a week. And it is not necessary to fly to the Maldives for this. It is enough to spend time with yourself and for the benefit of yourself.

If you understand the mechanisms of your unconscious and know your weaknesses.

I am not advocating for you to quit your job immediately, but if you do the same actions and expect a different result, this is a losing strategy in advance. Therefore, first - let your psyche rest and recover.

Right Experience

The ability to openly and clearly express or realize their feelings -

As children, we were all told at least once: “don’t laugh so loudly”, “don’t shout”, “behave yourself”. Yes, these moments concerned upbringing and behavior in society.

But such formulations, as those that teach a child from early childhood to suppress and hide their emotions, to block reactions.

While you are on vacation

The ability and ability to feel is a purely female prerogative. And often it is directly related to the awareness of one's femininity and the acceptance of one's femininity.

Try the next exercise. It will help track your relationship with men - if your insensitivity is associated with past experience of unsuccessful relationships.

Over the next week, look those in the eye. And remember how you feel about it.

You can even start a notebook in which you will describe your feelings. Incredibly, you will be surprised when you realize that you feel shame, lack of dignity, fear, or other negativity.

Do you want a harder task? Look into your eyes, smile and wave your hand. Here you can feel the whole range of emotions. Especially when a man smiles back and walks in your direction to.

And there is another important point worth mentioning. Never judge your feelings and emotions, because this is the voice of your soul.

Firstly, a person by nature is allowed not only to smile permanently, but sometimes to cry or get angry. If we didn't need it, evolution wouldn't instill these feelings in us.

Secondly, the most important life experience is to wean yourself from reflection, not to be led by situations and other people, not to fall into emotional hooks and.

By the way, fear or aversion to manifestations of negative emotions is another reason why you can be completely unemotional. Tears, sweat, redness, tremors - not as aesthetically pleasing as they show in the movies, but we do not live in a fairy tale.

And real life is about different experiences, not only about sheer joy. Otherwise we wouldn't have learned anything.

If, as a child, your mother dressed you only in trousers and insisted that you should achieve everything yourself, the disclosure of your female potential will be a real miracle for you. This is a very difficult, but pleasant work on yourself.

Or another example - if after an unsuccessful relationship you decided that all “men are goats”, then after working through this belief, you will give yourself a chance for real feelings and emotions, which means happiness for a woman.

I don't like anyone

A phrase that I hear more and more often from modern women. Translating it into simple and honest language: "I don't like those who like me." And there are three reasons why you don't feel anything for the men around you.

The first possible one is that you are fixated on an ideal, a fictional image that is convenient for you.

To provide for the family, and spend a lot of time with you, and, and so that you travel once a month and that flowers every week, and gifts every day.

Excuse me, but what are you going to do in the midst of this holiday, where is your area of ​​​​responsibility in this relationship?

Yes, male attention, flowers and gifts are important for a woman. But you need to go down to earth and become the one for which a man wants to do this.

A shirt from last season or a little shyness in a man can easily be the reason for your rejection. No. No. And once again no. After all, you are looking for the perfect.

Honey, I'll tell you a secret - there are no perfect people. Each has its own nuances. And if he put on a shirt from last season and was a little embarrassed on the first date - this is not an argument not to go on the second.

Striving for perfection - must clearly fit into the framework of adequacy, otherwise it is fraught with complete loneliness.

And we need a woman who is able to provide support, love and that very “rear”. While he "produces mammoths" for her happiness and comfort as well.

The second reason why you may have problems with feelings is a banal fear of relationships. For example, the divorce of parents and the lack of examples of happy families in front of your eyes and voila - the fear of relationships is right there.

Is it possible to get rid of the fear of intimacy? Of course you can. You don't need to fight it, you just need to understand the mechanism of fear.

How are brave people different from ordinary people? Everyone is afraid, but self-sufficient ones act, while others live in their fears.

Being brave does not mean stopping a galloping horse and putting out a hut, it means being honest with yourself and acting.

The third reason you don't like anyone is because you only hang out with one type of man. Think about the former - you will find in them a lot of common qualities in different modifications.

I must say right away that if you are surrounded by one, the question is definitely in you.

To judge yourself as a woman by one type of man, to put the stigma of "gray mouse", "blue stocking" and "loneliness" is not at all correct.

Therefore, you need to “work out” yourself in order to go beyond the usual circle. You can’t sit in a swamp and wait for someone to come and save you, suddenly making you happy and emotional.

You need to pull yourself out and go to new people in order to get new emotions.

Feelings are muscles

If you don't train them, they become flabby and lifeless. If you don't move at all, they just atrophy.

But you need to act according to the scheme: "experienced an emotion - embodied." If you have embarked on the path, having worked through all of the above, you will learn how to create the world around you with the help of emotions.

A "warm" emotional background and the state of femininity are the main keys to starting a happy relationship.

I believe in your happiness
Yaroslav Samoilov

Sometimes a day comes in a woman's life when she wants to smash a mirror, crawl under the covers, grab a box of eclairs, and complain about her unattractiveness as a woman. Eclairs, of course, will not add attractiveness, but they will sweeten the bitterness of imperfection.

And I have for you a selection of 99% working advice from a psychologist on how to increase your attractiveness. Why 99%? Yes, because I leave 1% for those who prefer to go for a second box of eclairs instead of following the advice.

If you feel unattractive

Ranked first in terms of efficiency confidence in yourself and your abilities. A beautiful gait, a straight back, a raised head and a triumphant smile are attached to this feeling as a bonus. What to do to feel attractive? Just believe in yourself!

In second place in the guide to getting rid of your own unattractiveness is - and this is predictable! - change of image, image, appearance. Without radical methods, just with the help of an experienced stylist. When you see yourself transformed in the mirror, you will be 100% sure of your attractiveness. And the views of passers-by and the compliments of colleagues will not keep you waiting long and will remove the last doubts.

In third place is the most pleasant recommendation: photo session with a great photographer. A few thoughtful images, a glass of wine or something stronger to sparkle your eyes, a little coquetry and emancipation... Add to this the skill of a photo artist - and for the first week you will look at your photos several times a day. And you will definitely want to register with a marriage agency so that thousands of free men can see your photos. It's no secret that it is high-quality photographs that help to successfully marry.

In fourth place I settled comfortably smile. I do not know women who would not smile. But I know many whom a smile made mysterious, enigmatic, glowing from within. An interesting fact: men on dating sites stop looking at photographs of those women who smile or even laugh, because a smile is the easiest way to radiate attractiveness and invite you to a closer acquaintance.

In fifth place - communication. Maximum communication. You can start with communication on forums, in chat rooms, on dating sites - where the interlocutor is evaluated by the conversation, and not by appearance. Learn to be witty, sarcastically good-natured, sympathetic and funny. Change your mood depending on who you are talking to and on what topics. And when you realize that people are interested in you, that they are waiting for your letters or messages, that they listen to your opinion and laugh at your jokes - congratulations, this is success! Victory over your imaginary unattractiveness.

Do you agree that you are incredibly attractive and damn charming? ;-)