I want to change where to start. How to completely change yourself and how to start a happy life

Each person does as he sees fit. We have our inner beliefs, which we express through actions. We manifest them outwardly, because we cannot do otherwise. What leads to poverty, overweight, frustration, loss of friends, hides deep inside a person.

Remember how many promises you made to yourself throughout your life. They said, for example, that you would not be rude, raise your voice at people, smoke, drink, eat fatty foods after six in the evening. But already at eleven at night, you are sitting in the kitchen and eating cake, despite your promise.

Due to the fact that we have no idea how to change internally, we often begin to make mistakes and complicate the situation. We get angry at ourselves for our lack of willpower and constantly blame ourselves for mistakes and failures. Stop blaming yourself and say, "Now I am free. I have a goal to become a self-sufficient person, succeeding in everything I want. I deserve to be happy, and accept it as a gift."

Many of us think that they are absolutely helpless in this life and lose interest in everything, seeing around them only loneliness and hopelessness. Such hopelessness arises from many disappointments, pain and resentment, leading to an unwillingness to live a full life. Stop! Ask yourself what is the reason for such disappointment, what makes you so angry. The more anger you pour into this world, the more angry you become. Think about it, you were angry, perhaps even at the moment of reading the previous paragraph. You must understand how to change for the better. And we will help you.

The beginning of change

Decide for yourself that you want to turn your life in a different direction. Do not doubt, each person has enough strength in himself to understand for himself how to change both externally and internally. It is necessary to change your worldview, train of thought, overcome stubbornness, and then changes will come.

Exercises

You do not yet know how you can change, but you already have this desire inside you. Tell yourself that you want to get better, and more than once, repeat it at every opportunity. Believe in change and it will definitely happen. What you think is impossible to change in you, you need to change first. By repeating the phrase: "I want to become different," you turn on the Power of the Universe to help you.

Take a look in the mirror when you say to yourself "I want to be different", listen to your feelings. If you feel contradictions, do not despair and do not blame yourself, because it is very difficult to change quickly. Try to figure out exactly what thought makes you doubt. Dissolve it. Then, go back to the mirror and say something nice about yourself. This kind of eye contact with yourself should definitely help.

How much to change and start a new life? Change your beliefs, your thoughts. If a negative thought persists, catch yourself in it and drive it away once and for all. It is possible, we can control every thought.

Principles of working on yourself:

• Mind control.
• The desire to change yourself.
• Forgiveness of all offenses.

After deciding to start a change, you need to learn how to control your mind. You can use it as you wish, it is your tool, subject to your desire. And not vice versa. Think about it. To find harmony, control the thoughts, the words that you pronounce, since they are the ones that have incredible power and create all the situations in your life. But, in fact, you are the master of your mind.

Leave the past in the past

I have been working as a psychologist for many years and have heard from my patients more than once that the sad past prevents them from being happy in the present, where they were offended, injured, wounded in the heart. Now they have lost all the values ​​and meaning of life, they cannot forget the events from the past, they cannot love, they cannot forgive. And if they forgot and forgave, their life would again show its charms.

Treat all events from the past as memories without emotional evaluation. Forgive everyone who has ever harmed you and you will find the answers you need. The most important thing is love. Only true love can change us radically. Love for others, love for the world. But without forgiveness, she doesn't come.

An exercise to deal with resentment

Being in silence, imagine in front of you a small stage of a semi-dark theater, on which stands the person who offended you. Whether he is alive or not, you need to conquer your hatred. Mentally imagine that good things happen to him, he is really happy. Remember his image like this. Then take the stage yourself. You smile too, because there is enough goodness in the world for everyone. This simple exercise will dissolve your resentment if you learn how to do it correctly. Work on yourself, get to know yourself as deeply as possible, and the world will change for the better with you, giving you the opportunity to find true happiness.

Modern girls are ready for the most daring changes in their lives, for constant self-improvement. Many people know to become better, smarter, more attractive, sexier, you need to work very hard on your appearance, lifestyle, habits and rules of conduct.

If you are thinking about how to become a better person, a clear plan for 30 days will help you. Every girl can change life for the better! It's not as difficult as it seems.

Some representatives of the beautiful half of humanity need years to change their image, others try to introduce something new into life in a very short time.

In any case, if the result were guaranteed, quite a few people would like to know how to make yourself and your life better in just 30 days girl. In our article, you will learn how to realize this and change radically in just a month. Improve yourself externally and internally.

Change for the better is not as difficult as it seems.

How to become better in a month: a real plan of action

To improve your internal and external data in 30 days, you need to draw up an action plan to work on your appearance and habits.

How to become a better girl in 30 days: a plan for a month
1 Week	2 weeks	3 week	4 week
Get used to getting up early.	Throw away all unnecessary items and things that are not in demand for a long time.	Make a plan for rest and work, doing everything point by point.	Try to do differently than it was before, to learn innovations.
Eat light food.	Finish all planned tasks or abandon unnecessary ones.	Map your dreams.	Fight all your fears.
Daily exercise, dance or yoga.	Stop communicating with people who negatively affect self-esteem (exception: parents).	Every evening make a plan for the coming day.	Rest properly (without the Internet, outside the home, one on one with yourself).

Cosmetic procedures to improve your appearance

To look better, you need to visit a beautician. Elasticity and firmness of the skin support regular facial cleansing, which are:

• ultrasonic;
• manual;
• peeling.

• fruit peeling;
• mesotherapy;
• biorevitalization.

After 30:

• correction of small wrinkles with butoloxin;
• fillers with hyaluronic acid.

By the age of 40, it is necessary to add volume, freshness, clarity of lines. Recommended treatments:

• plasmolifting;
• peeling;
• revitalization;
• laser resurfacing;

Cosmetic procedures are selected strictly according to age and recommendations of a specialist.

Skin, hair and nail care

External changes should touch the hair, skin and nails. Hair should look well-groomed, without split ends (this needs to be monitored). The roots of the hair should be tinted in time, and the remaining length should be refreshed if necessary.

Gelatin-based masks will help improve the condition of the hair for dry structure, with the addition of cognac for oily curls. If the length of the hair allows, you can master the weaving of braids, this will add novelty to the image, besides it is fashionable. For medium length hair, bronding is suitable.

Please note: nails should be regularly maintained. Men do not like peeling manicure, burrs, as well as dirt under the nails.

The stronger sex likes a jacket, red or better transparent varnish. If a girl takes care of her nails every day for 30 days, it will become a habit.

A modern girl does not always manage to do a manicure every day, so you should resort to salon care.. A procedure such as nail lamination has proven itself well. It restores the nail plate, hides all flaws and imperfections.

The nails are covered with a substance that fills all the cavities and deformations. After the procedure, the plates are healed, aesthetics and nutrition return to them. This procedure will improve the appearance of nails, and the preparatory stage in the form of a hand massage will give a feeling of relaxation and complete harmony.

The skin of the face should have an even tone, fresh, well-groomed appearance with emphasizing makeup.. To do this, you need to nourish, moisturize, cleanse and refresh your face daily. This will prolong youth.

Facial products are selected according to skin type. At home in the refrigerator, there should be ice cubes with chamomile, which should be used to wipe the face daily. After a week of such procedures, the skin calms down, the color evens out, freshness appears, fatigue disappears.

A light tan will help you become more attractive. for this, self-tanning or a visit to the solarium is suitable.

How to become better: proper nutrition

The right diet will help you become better: internally and externally.

Healthy eating is the key to a healthy life and good mood

• Before starting any meal, for 1/4 hour, you need to drink 200 ml of water.
• Every day a girl should drink at least 2 liters of water.
• By eliminating junk high-calorie foods for 30 days, you can lose those extra pounds.
• Side dishes that have existed until this time must be replaced with vegetable dishes.
• Permanently exclude sausages, sausages and other semi-finished products from the diet.
• Between meals, the interval should be at least 3 hours, meals should be fractional.
• Evening meal should be 2.5 hours before going to bed.
• Every week you need to do fasting days.
• You can't skip breakfast.
• Every day on an empty stomach you need to drink 1 tsp. flax oils.
• Bakery products are best replaced with citrus fruits.

It is important to know! it is impossible to drink liquid or water after eating (at least half an hour should pass).

The best diets for weight loss and wellness

To answer the question of how to become better in 30 days, a girl needs to put her figure in order. Various diets will help with this, the most popular of them are soup, kefir and fractional.

Soup diet will help you lose weight quickly

The diet consists of a variety of soups without potatoes, legumes and butter. During the diet, bread should be abandoned. Salt should be used in very small doses. After a seven-day period, you can lose up to 4 kg of excess weight.

Kefir in the fight against extra pounds

This diet is designed for 7 days. During this time, it is easy to lose up to 5 kg of excess weight. For a week, you need to drink 1.5-2 liters of fat-free kefir daily.

Diet Ladder

This diet is designed for 5 days. On the first day, it is necessary to cleanse the intestines (during the day, eat 2 kg of apples and drink activated charcoal). On the second day, the body requires recovery (eat cottage cheese and kefir).

Diet "Ladder" will help you quickly lose weight

The third day of the meal should consist of foods rich in healthy sugars. The fourth day is protein (eat lean poultry meat in boiled form). The fifth day is fiber in the diet (muesli, oatmeal, fruits are suitable).

For 5 days, a loss of 7 kg is possible. The diet can be carried out every 2 weeks, the main thing is that there are no problems with the gastrointestinal tract.

How to become a better girl in 30 days - psychological training

You can become better in a month with the help of psychological training. Each girl chooses a program for herself that will help develop her hidden qualities.

Self-confidence is another component of a successful life!

By choosing the right program for yourself, in 30 days you can completely change yourself, and most importantly, change everything around you. Raise your self-esteem, become more successful.

Girls after training programs become better, and most importantly, the question of how - by itself disappears. Any issues are resolved with ease, there are no fears and fears, which means the end of depression and stress.

At home, you can conduct independent training. To do this, you need to write on a piece of paper all the good things done, achievements, awards, joyful memories.

You need to read this list daily, and soon it will turn into a life guide. The more positive deeds and accomplishments come to mind, the longer the list will turn out, which means that daily readings of 5 minutes a day will give positive results.

It is required not to forget to praise yourself - this is a reward and raising self-esteem. Praise can be practiced in front of a mirror.

Do not forget to smile at yourself every day - then things will be most successful.

Creating a new image to become even better

Any girl has her own image, which is more acceptable and convenient for her, but in order to change for the better, she will have to completely change. This means that the path to success lies through dramatic changes.

You can start changing your image with a hairstyle: long straight hair - curl, and curls - straighten, make a fashionable haircut or coloring. This season, ombre and balayazh are at the peak of fashion.

Change and habitual makeup, having tried to make it fashionable: painted eyelashes, eyes lined with eyeliner, foundation, neat and expressive eyebrows, gloss or lipstick.

If you have vision problems, then your usual glasses should be replaced with contact lenses.. If contact lenses were used, then stylish glasses or colored lenses will help to change the image.

Changing the image applies to changing the wardrobe. Business women who are accustomed to formal suits can dilute their look with lighter and more playful accessories, for example, use a bright color of a headscarf in combination with a dark suit. For lovers of free sports style, you can buy several feminine dresses and high heeled shoes.

Stylish accessories accentuate the whole look.: bags, belts, jewelry, and most importantly shoes. All things must complement each other.

Changing the image is not only about creating a new image, you need to change your habits, remove unnecessary gestures, change loud laughter to a smile. Knowing your complexes and shortcomings, they need to be corrected.

To make a girl better, she should have its own unique image. You should not shackle yourself, just as you are shy about new acquaintances (in 30 days, you can make at least 10 friends). It is necessary to make new friends all the time, but at the same time not forget about the existing ones. The circle of communication should be diverse.

Sociability plays an important role. In the company you need to be cheerful, joyful, then the success of leadership is guaranteed, in any company there is a place for such a positive person.

Sociability is the key to success in life. Don't have 100 rubles, but have 100 friends!

Important to remember! Having fallen in love with yourself with all your might, others will not remain indifferent. No wonder there is a proverb: love yourself the way you want others to love you.

Wanting to become better is a painstaking daily, every minute work. You will have to work on your views, taste, image, feelings, fears, perfection and external data.

If you do not deviate from the rules, then the achievement of the goal will be very close, and all unpleasant memories and fears will remain in the old life.

Useful videos on how to change your life for the better. How to be a better girl

10 TIPS FOR GIRLS HOW TO BECOME HEALTHY AND BEAUTIFUL:

HOW TO BECOME A BEAUTIFUL GIRL - THE MAIN SECRET:

LIFE HACKS FOR GIRLS // HOW TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND GOOD:

How to become a better girl in 30 days:

Let's talk about a very important and relevant topic: how to start changing, how to change yourself and your life for the better? Not so long ago, in an article about me, I wrote that the life of any modern person does not stand still, changes in it are inevitable in any case, and in order to better adapt your life to such conditions, you must not wait for changes to come from outside , but to initiate them yourself: to change yourself and your life for the better.

When changes in life come from outside, without the will of the person himself, most often they lead to some kind of deterioration, have a negative effect. You can change yourself and your life for the better only by initiating changes yourself.

However, it is very difficult psychologically for most people to start changing. After all, for this it is necessary to get out of the comfort zone, the creation of which has already been spent a certain amount of time, effort, and possibly money. How to overcome this psychological discomfort, how to change your life for the better - more on that later.

So, first of all, to start life changes, I recommend dividing them into 2 large areas:

1. Change life circumstances.
2. Change yourself.

Let me explain. By circumstances I mean all the conditions in which a person lives. Moreover, these conditions can either depend on a person or not, and it is necessary to strive to change those circumstances that do not satisfy a person and depend on him, accepting the rest as they are, even if they also do not satisfy.

For example, personal life, work, profession, sources of income, hobbies, place of residence - these are all those life circumstances that a person can influence, wanting to change his life for the better. But the price level, tax rates, laws of the country - these are already circumstances that a person cannot change, and it is pointless to waste your energy on this. Although, by and large, a person can move to another country, where all this will suit him, but these are already too global changes, I think that those who have just thought about how to start changing are definitely not ready for this.

And if we talk about how to change yourself, then by this I mean changing your own attitude to ongoing processes and phenomena, getting what you need for life.

To start changing yourself and your life, highlight separately the life circumstances and personal qualities that do not suit you and that you would like to change.

A serious mistake many people make when thinking about how to change their lives is that they incorrectly classify any personal factors or life circumstances as independent of them, and at the same time try to change those that really do not depend on them. That is, they evaluate themselves and their capabilities biased. Well, for example, instead of changing something in themselves, they try to change the people around them: their soul mate, their friends, colleagues, the society in which they are. In the global plans of such people - to change their country for the better or save the world from a universal catastrophe.

Good goals? It would seem, yes. The only question is how to go to achieve them. If a person tries to change everything around without changing himself, this undertaking is obviously doomed to failure. Most likely, such a person will only set everyone around him against himself, while he himself will not achieve anything, and the world will not change. As a result, a lot of wasted time, energy, and deep disappointment await him. It would be much more correct to change what is within the power of him specifically: that is, himself and his life circumstances, thereby making his modest contribution to changing the country and the world. After all, the country and the world are made up of people, and if each of them starts to change their lives for the better, both the country and the world will change.

Another common problem is this: many people don't even think about how to change themselves because they think it's impossible. Their life principle: "I am the way I am, and I will not become another." Such inferences are based on the erroneous belief that a person's character cannot be changed. In fact, this is absolutely not the case: you can change the character if you work on it. And in some cases, it can even change itself under the influence of some changed life circumstances.

Thinking about how to start changing, you should understand that if you wish, you can change even those qualities of yourself that, at first glance, seem unchanged. Well, for example:

– Appearance and physical data. There are many examples when the "ugly duckling" turned into a "beautiful swan". You need to work on yourself, on your body, go in for sports, and in extreme cases, now there is even an opportunity to use the services of plastic surgeons. If it really helps to change your life for the better, then why not?

– Mind and intellect. If there is a desire and aspiration, one can develop one's mental faculties very substantially. Now there are plenty of opportunities for this: you need to read a lot of useful literature, get useful information from the Internet, audio books, video lessons and other sources. There are examples in history when people who did poorly in school later became geniuses and made world-class discoveries.

– Beliefs. Many people are prevented from changing their lives for the better by the so-called. . People are convinced that "such is fate, life is unfair, and nothing more can be achieved." This is the wrong position to begin with. Once you change your psychology of poverty to , you yourself will notice how your life will begin to change for the better.

– Habits. Changing your habits will also not be a problem, and at the same time such changes will help develop the volitional qualities of a person, which is also very important for changing life for the better. It is necessary to try to get rid of bad habits and develop good ones. It will be a good helper in this.

– Financial position. Moreover, this is an indicator that can and should be changed for the better. There are a great many useful tools for this, most of which are already described on the Financial Genius website. If you are thinking about how to change yourself and your life for the better, you definitely should follow one of the directions.

However, the greatest degree of importance in order to begin to change for the better will not be a change in the above-mentioned qualities, but a change in character, namely, will, volitional qualities. Because everything else will follow from that.

In order to change yourself and your life for the better, it is necessary, first of all, to strengthen your strong-willed qualities and change your character.

As I already wrote, this is not easy to do if we are talking about an adult with an already formed character, but it is possible. How? First of all, you need to objectively identify those weaknesses in your character that you would like to change. Then try to do things that are characteristic of the character you are striving for.

For example, you are too timid by nature. So, try to take the initiative as often as possible, take on the role of a leader in the company, do those things that you didn’t do before because of your timidity.

Or are you afraid of a lot. In this case, regularly perform some bold, risky actions, use some risky rides, start playing risky sports. At first, it will be very difficult for you to overcome your fear, but each time it will become easier, because your character will begin to change for the better.

From individual actions habits are developed, from habits - character, and from character - further changes for the better. Therefore, if you do not know how to change yourself, start with individual actions.

In particular, the following actions will help you start to change for the better:

• planning something and following your plan exactly;
• giving up something that seems wrong to you if it is difficult to give up;
• quick and firm decision-making, without any hesitation and long miscalculations;
• actions that contradict the expectations of your relatives, relatives, friends, colleagues, acquaintances;
• rejection of bad habits;
• giving up unnecessary activities that do not bring any benefit (“hanging out” in social networks, computer games, watching TV, etc.);
• immediate execution of important work that you want to postpone;
• postponing non-essential work that you want to do immediately;
• restraining yourself from words that you really want to say (for example, the desire to argue, prove to another person that he is wrong, show off intelligence, etc.);
• the first step towards achieving a meaningful goal ().

By regularly doing such things, you will begin to change your character, and therefore yourself, your life for the better.

Speaking about how to start changing, one cannot fail to mention the most important thing with which it all begins: setting goals and objectives. That is, you must immediately determine the goals for which all your changes will occur. It will help you to correctly formulate the goal, according to which your goal should be specific, measurable, achievable, supported by resources and indicated in time.

Moreover, it is very important to be able to choose the shortest, optimal path to achieve the goal. Practice shows that many people set the right goals for themselves, but at the same time they do not know how to look for the right way to achieve them.

For example, take the most common goal that most young people set for themselves before entering adulthood: to become rich and financially independent. Right target? Quite, if only to specify it as much as possible (I analyzed how to do it specifically for this purpose using an example in the article)

But how to achieve this goal? Most people think something like this: first you need to study at the institute, get a promising specialty, then get a job in a good company, gain experience, climb the career ladder, as a result, become the head of the company and earn good money.

Can a person become rich and financially independent, change his life for the better, if he follows this path? I am sure that in 90% of cases - no. Look around: everyone once imagined changing their lives for the better in this way, but which of them was really able to achieve something in this way? Probably a few out of thousands. And this is quite logical and natural, now I will explain why.

Firstly, wealth and financial independence are not measured by the amount of earnings, but depend simultaneously on the income and expenditure side of the personal budget. There is not a word about planning expenses here. Secondly, in the first 5 years, a lot of money will have to be invested in education (even if it is free of charge, which is not easy to achieve, the study process entails many additional costs). Further, at least 2-3 years of work will be needed only in order to “recapture” the costs of training. Thirdly, relying on the only source of income in order to achieve wealth, especially active income, is at least short-sighted, but rather simply stupid. Fourthly, it does not take into account how a person plans to provide himself with at least the most necessary things for life: housing, property. By salary? Ridiculous… Due to loans? You will have to repay debts all your life ... And when will that very wealth come? And if you live in a rented apartment, a good part of even a large salary by today's standards will go to pay rent, and there will be nothing left to accumulate wealth. And what if you suddenly get fired from your job in the midst of the financial crisis? How will loans, rent, and other expenses be repaid? You can find a number of other points that directly indicate that such a path in the vast majority of cases is a dead end. Once again I say: look around, and you will see this in many living examples.

Therefore, if you are thinking about how to change yourself and your life for the better, stereotypical thinking, such as that described in the example above, must be discarded: it will not lead you to achieve your goals. It is necessary to look for an effective, real and relevant for the present time way to achieve the goals.

How to do it? First of all, you need to focus on your own financial future, since the achievement of almost any life goals is inextricably linked with the financial component. Roughly speaking, there will be no money - it will not work to achieve the goal. In the example above, a person, by and large, plans how he will earn money first for his institute (paying for his education), then for his employer (performing work for him and earning him a profit). Perhaps - even to the bank (if he takes a loan). But not to yourself!

If you want to start changing, change yourself and your life for the better, you definitely need to immediately start taking care of. Because success in achieving your goals will largely depend on it. Without financial resources, you are unlikely to be able to change your life for the better.

The site was created in order to tell you how to change your life for the better, especially from the financial side of the issue, but not only. Here you will find a lot of useful information, tips and recommendations that will help you start changing for the better: both in terms of personal development, and in terms of improving your financial condition and standard of living. Join the number of regular readers, study the proposed materials, ask questions in the comments, chat on the forum and apply the information received in practice. I hope that Financial Genius will help change your life for the better! Until we meet again on the pages of the site!

Perhaps one of the most common and dangerous human misconceptions about a person is the belief that one cannot change oneself, one's personality. This belief rests on the conviction that there are qualities, abilities, tastes, habits and shortcomings assigned to us that are the essence of our personality and cannot be changed. Often heard “Well, I’m such a person (lazy, without certain abilities, necessary qualities, etc.) I can’t do it differently and there’s nothing to be done about it”. Many people think so and carry this belief all their lives.

So is it possible to change your personality? If yes, then how can you change yourself?

Can you change yourself?

Or, indeed, a person is something imperishable and unchanging, and all the metamorphoses that can occur in it are, so to speak, cosmetic and do not concern its essence. I am sure that you can change yourself and for the better: get rid of personal shortcomings, acquire and develop certain qualities, change your character ...

Everyone can, if he wants, be transformed beyond recognition: overcome "natural" cowardice and shyness, becoming a strong character and confident, moderate the tendency to anxiety and worries, gaining strong nerves and equanimity. Yesterday's timid and downtrodden young man can become a sociable and young man, simply by making some effort.

And it would be a mistake to believe that this young man has shyness and isolation in his blood and that he is "by nature" clamped and not adapted to communication. This mistake, this delusion is not harmless, from a practical point of view, in nature, such as the delusion that Singapore is the capital of Africa (of course, provided that you do not pass the final exams in geography at the institute, and if you fail, you will not waiting for a lot of unforgettable experiences in the vast expanses of our country as part of an army unit).

This false belief is much more dangerous than a harmless geographic one, because, believing that you cannot change yourself, you give up, you are afraid to make efforts to work on yourself and you live with your shortcomings that prevent you from living and poison the lives of those around you. of people.

Why am I so sure that can you change yourself?

Firstly, the human species is naturally equipped with a strong adaptive potential, the ability to change, adjusting to the conditions of the surrounding reality. This makes a person flexible and makes it possible to change either under external influence or by controlling the conscious efforts of the will from within, commensurating this effort with the internal need to change the personality. (in the context of this resource, we are interested in the latter, namely the conscious control of how we will change and whether we will change at all. We ourselves want to decide what we become? Right?)

Secondly, there are many examples of how people have changed either for the worse or for the better. One such example is myself, the author of these lines. I managed to overcome internal resistance and become more self-confident, disciplined, organized and sociable.

This has manifested itself in an improvement in the quality of my life and the realization of significant life achievements. But before, I also considered laziness, a tendency to worries and depression, cowardice, shyness, the inability to control oneself and control one’s feelings, as inherently my enduring qualities and did not believe in the possibility of changing them.

It seemed to me that I am who I am and will remain so. Reality showed that I was wrong: I coped with depression and anxiety and panic attacks without any pills or treatment, my mathematical abilities improved (I used to think that I didn’t have them at all) even my musical tastes changed (not just changed, but greatly expanded) and much more, this list can be continued for a very long time.

The value of fighting yourself

So I will insist that the reader of these lines, instead of destroying himself by believing in the immutability of his personality, still takes and tries to work on himself and change. Even if he fails to become what he wants, his efforts will still be rewarded. Since the struggle and attempts to cope with the internal resistance that is sure to arise along the way, if you want to change yourself, always pays off!

Acting in spite of resistance, against your weaknesses and ingrained habits, you train your will and temper your character. The degree of control over your feelings increases and a sober understanding of what is happening inside you and what guides you comes!

And exactly the opposite. An individual who is used to seeing himself as a collection of unchanging characteristics, habits, shortcomings and pathologies always follows his character and weaknesses. It remains as it is.

His will is not tempered in the fight against feelings, he is controlled by his Ego, fears and complexes. Every day he capitulates to them: his will weakens, and the true essence begins to fade behind the abundance of shortcomings and habits.

Internal struggle and resistance and their value is the core of my system of self-development and self-improvement. The value of these things is not only of an instrumental nature (that is, not necessarily only a means to achieve a certain goal: the fight against complexes in order to defeat them), but they also carry great value in themselves. I will write more about this more than once.

Can personality change?

You must understand that your true identity is not a multitude of habits, fruits of upbringing and childhood traumas. All this is just tinsel and habits of the mind and senses!. This is acquisitive, i.e. appeared as you become and will also disappear as soon as you want to: after all, all this is not written in your genes. Personality is a dynamic, constantly changing concept, and not something predetermined forever!

Well, of course, there are some natural limitations, innate inclinations, etc. Something that you will not affect in any way, and I understand this very well. At the same time, I see a general need to exaggerate the number of those personality factors that supposedly cannot be influenced.

What is simply an acquired flaw, manifested as a result of laziness and unwillingness to do something, is mistakenly perceived by many as a natural and once and for all determined property of a person! Perhaps this is just a psychological ploy designed to write off responsibility for one's character from a person.

This is the same blatant delusion as "congenital illiteracy"! (Well, think about how it can be innate? We are all born without knowing the language, our first words are the simplest syllables “MAMA”, “PAPA”) In fact, many properties of our being, which we fundamentally cannot influence due to natural, There are far fewer natural restrictions than we are all used to thinking.

And you yourself will be convinced of this when, as a result of your self-development, you experience many positive personal metamorphoses that will affect those of your qualities that you previously considered rooted in you forever.

My experience of personal metamorphoses

I myself managed to overcome many internal negative character traits that have bothered me since childhood and would continue to bother me and spoil my life (and I was a very weak and sickly child, and then a young man and had many shortcomings (and now I have them, but much less). It is a pity that I did not pay attention to them even then and did not start working on myself, having secured the confidence that I was able to cope with it.

And the practice only confirmed my confidence, giving me a valuable result both in terms of developing my inner potential, and in the context of improving the factors of external comfort and order (relationships with people, financial situation, life achievements, etc.), as a reflection of personality changes.

Usually those who say “I am such a person and will remain such” have never tried to do something with themselves and change for the better. Then how do they know that nothing can be done?

How to change yourself? This is a big question and almost all the materials of this site will be devoted to this. After all, self-development and self-improvement imply changes in oneself, and this is always the case. Therefore, this article is simply an attempt to break down a well-established misconception and call for action and may give hope to someone that you can change yourself. And you can find specific recommendations now and later as they are published on the pages of this site - the topic is very extensive.

Is it unnatural to change for the better?

Once I ran into such an objection. “They say, yes, you can change yourself, but why do it? Isn't this unnatural? You are who you are, why show violence against a person?
I asked counter questions: “Well, what do you think shaped your personality, what factors influenced its formation? Why are you the way you are now? It must be due to upbringing, parents, social circle and some innate parameters (heredity, natural predispositions, etc.).

Basically, all these factors are random, those that you could not influence. After all, parents are not chosen and the social circle is also not always. Not to mention heredity and genes. So it turns out that the development of you as a person under the influence of external, arbitrary factors that do not depend much on your will, you consider natural.

And attempts to consciously influence your character and habits, based on an understanding of who you want to become and the formation of what qualities in you meets your goals - does this mean it is unnatural? To follow the lead of external circumstances, attributing everything to the mercy of chance ...

What is so right and natural in this? And why is conscious work on oneself, changing oneself for the better in order to achieve happiness and harmony, is this perceived as violence against oneself?

On the contrary, by determining the vector of self-development on your own, you bring the order into your life that you yourself desire and do not allow external circumstances to completely decide what you will be like. This brings you closer to the implementation of your life plan, to satisfaction with yourself, your life and your environment, which you yourself choose, and not content with what external circumstances have imposed on you.

As for the question “why change yourself?”. I answer it, perhaps, in most of my articles in an explicit and implicit form. I will answer again. Self-development is a dynamic process of continuous improvement of all the best human qualities.

The best and worst qualities of a person

By the best qualities, I mean those qualities of nature that correspond to considerations of personal comfort and happiness, harmonious relationships with people, success in life, overcoming difficulties, inner peace, order of thought, health, willpower and spiritual freedom.

Bad qualities are those that make us suffer, get angry, torn in internal contradictions, make our lives difficult and poison the lives of others, make us sickly, dependent on passions and desires, morally and physically weak.

Developing good qualities and freeing yourself from bad qualities, you strive for happiness and freedom, doing the opposite, you fly into the abyss of suffering and dependence. Self-development implies the first. When you develop the best properties of your nature, you change, as new abilities appear in you and old shortcomings disappear. This is the meaning of self-development in these positive personal metamorphoses.

That, in fact, is all, no tricky philosophy or relative morality, everything rests on your personal happiness and harmony, and not on some abstract ideas. This is what I want you to strive for and what this site is all about.

I have already said what a terrible mistake it is to believe in the impossibility of changing oneself. But even more dangerous thing is the lack of need to change something in yourself. Many believe that they are already the crowns of creation, the most worthy representatives of the human species, and they have seen all sorts of sites of self-development in the coffin.

It really happens that a person is really very developed, but most often he falls into the trap of his pride and pride, believing that he has nowhere to develop, because almost always there is an opportunity to move somewhere and improve something.

And besides, very often education and upbringing are not able to fully develop personal potential (and can even harm somewhere), leaving behind a lot of gaping gaps, undisclosed abilities, hidden anxieties and complexes within the structure of individuality.

Therefore, in almost all cases, it is necessary to make efforts in order to make something out of yourself: after all, few people are so lucky that their educators and parents were able to give the leap necessary for harmonious development and solve all the internal problems and contradictions that arise.

If you're wondering can you change yourself?, then you recognize the presence of such properties in yourself that need to be changed and do not consider yourself an ideal and a dead end of development and everything is not so scary, you are taking the first steps towards self-development, standing on the threshold of wonderful metamorphoses.

It remains only armed with the support that I will provide you with my advice and recommendations for self-improvement, with a song to move on this difficult but bright path.

From time to time, we all become dissatisfied with something in life and decide that we need to change. If you feel that it is time to make changes in your life, go ahead! You can change! This may seem like a difficult task to you, but there is nothing difficult about it, the main thing is to set clear goals and guidelines for yourself. Change your habits, and soon you will notice that your perception of yourself and the world has changed.

Steps

Part 1

Assess your needs

Define your problem. You decide to change, but why? Understand what problem forced you to make changes in your life. What will your changes lead to?

• Start positive. Write a list of what you like about yourself, or remember what other people say good about you. It is important to know your strengths in order to direct them in the right direction.
• Try to formulate your goal in one sentence. Make sure it's what YOU want and not what others want from you. Change will come when and only when you sincerely desire it.
• Then make a list of reasons why you want to change. All these reasons will motivate you in the process of your changes.

1. Learn to praise yourself. Talk positively about yourself - this will help you create the image of the person you want to become and stay focused on it. Of course, statements such as “I’m well done with my mother and completely like myself” will not work, because they will only cause internal disputes with oneself. But realistic statements such as "I work hard, so I'm great" will help you stay positive. To develop a positive ego, try the following:

   • Start sentences with "I".
     • For example, “I am great”, “I work hard”, “I am original”.
   • Use sentences that begin with "I can".
     • For example, “I can reach my potential”, “I can become who I want to be”, “I can achieve my goals”.
   • Use sentences that begin with "I will" (or a future tense).
     • For example, “I will be who I want to be”, “I will overcome all obstacles”, “I will prove to myself that I can change my life for the better”.

2. Imagine what your future will be like. Visualization is a kind of mental rehearsal of what might happen. You can imagine something abstract or more concrete, it's like collecting pictures that show you are moving in the right direction. Visualization will help you assess if you are working in the right direction, it will help you realize your goals. In addition, visualization helps develop a sense of control over your life. To visualize your future

   • Close your eyes.
   • Imagine your ideal self in the future. Where are you? What are you doing? How has your life changed? How do you look? What brings you pleasure and happiness now?
   • Imagine in detail your ideal life. What does she look like? Try to catch some special sights, smells and tastes. Detailing will make the picture more realistic.
   • Now this visualization will help you define your goals.

3. Be prepared to break old habits. Things happen in life that we never expected. On your way there will be many obstacles and many people who will annoy you. Be prepared for the small setbacks and hurdles needed to succeed.

   • Be realistic - this is the best way to handle any situation. Don't blame yourself or others. Failures happen, there is no way to avoid it.

4. Learn a lesson for yourself. Sometimes it will seem to you that everything is bad. That you won't reach your goal because it's too high, and eventually you'll change your goals and take a different path. But remember that failure happens to everyone. If you learn to learn from failures and failures, you can avoid them in the future.

   Be patient. If changes happened overnight, they would cost nothing. You will not be able to notice the results immediately after the first attempt to change. And even if the changes are already visible externally, they can be difficult to feel internally. Changes will happen gradually, every day, and even if they are almost imperceptible, know that they are happening!

   • Break your goal into several sub-points. This will help you assess whether you are moving in the right direction. Motivate yourself and keep trying!

   Part 2

   Set the right goals for yourself

   1. Set only the right goals. Goal setting is a kind of art. Your path of change and results largely depend on how you manage to set goals for yourself. Here are a few points by which you can evaluate the effectiveness of your goals. Check if your goals are really useful:

      • Significance
      • Meaning
      • Achievable (or action-oriented)
      • Relevance (or results orientation)
      • Controllability

   2. Set meaningful goals for yourself. This means that goals should be specific and detailed. It will be quite difficult to develop an action plan for achieving a goal that is too vague and unspecific. The goal must be clearly defined, only then will you succeed.

      • For example, the goal "to be successful" is too vague. Success is not a definite sign, it can be interpreted by different people in different ways.
      • But the goal of "graduating from university with a master's degree in social sciences" is already more specific.

   3. Make sure your goals are meaningful. You must be sure that the goal is "measurable" and makes sense. If you cannot understand whether you have already achieved a goal or not, then this goal cannot be measured.

      • For example, the goal of “being successful” cannot be measured. You cannot know when you will officially become successful, and besides, the very meaning of this goal will change for you from day to day.
      • On the other hand, the goal of “graduating from university with a master's degree in social sciences” is quite measurable and meaningful. You will know that you have achieved this goal when you receive your diploma.

   4. Make sure your goals are basically achievable. Achievement of the goal may vary depending on the person. Even if your goal is considered achievable based on many factors, some of them may be beyond your control. Ask yourself if you have enough knowledge, skills and abilities to achieve your goal. Assess how it is possible for you to achieve this goal.

      • For example, the goal of “becoming the smartest/richest/powerful person in the world” is unattainable in most cases.
      • A more achievable goal is to "get a higher education." Although for some, a more achievable goal may be to "finish school."

   5. Assess the relevance of your goals. This is especially important for short-term goals that are sub-points of the main goal. Goals should be relevant, they should fit into the overall rhythm of your life. It is unlikely that you will succeed if your goal does not coincide with the rhythm of your life.

      • For example, the goal of "graduating from university with a master's degree in social sciences" refers only to the goal of "working in the relevant field in the future". If your goal in life is to become a pilot, then achieving the sub-goal of "getting a master's degree in social sciences" will not bring you one iota closer to the main goal.

   6. Set a time frame for yourself to achieve these goals. Effective goals must always be supported by some kind of time constraint, otherwise you can relax and never reach your goal.

      • For example, the goal of "graduate from university with a master's degree in social sciences" must be achieved in 5 years. If necessary, you can reconsider the deadline for achieving the goal, but a short deadline will motivate you more, you will no longer consider your goal as something vague that will happen someday later.

   Part 3

   Get Started

   1. Start right now! Once you say "tomorrow", and you will never start work at all! "Tomorrow" is a day that will never come. To change your life, you can not hesitate a second, otherwise you will not achieve your goal!

      Break your big goal down into several subgoals. If you set yourself a fairly high goal, come up with several sub-goals that will lead you to achieve the main goal.

   2. Reward yourself. Be sure to praise yourself for small successes - this will serve as additional motivation for you. Dance, watch TV for an extra half hour, or treat yourself to a delicious, expensive lunch.

      • Try not to reward yourself with actions that will slow you down towards your goal. If you're trying to lose weight, reward yourself with a new blouse or a trip to the movies, not a third serving of ice cream.

   3. Use your emotions. As you work toward your goal, you likely go through a ton of emotions. If you find that emotions somehow help you achieve your goal, try using them to your advantage:

      • When you reach a sub-goal and feel happy, you automatically motivate yourself to reach the next sub-goal.
      • If you have failed, let disappointment motivate you to achieve this goal at all costs.
      • If you are about to achieve your goal, but something always distracts you at the last minute, let the feeling of anger and anger revive your hope to reach the goal despite all the obstacles.

   4. Get out of your comfort zone. Most people are used to doing what they usually do. If you want to make changes to your life and your habits, get out of your comfort zone. Feeling uncomfortable at first may upset you, but in the future you will gain new experiences and be able to change your life.

      • This is another situation where subgoals will help you. A big goal may seem too big and intimidating, but if you step out of your comfort zone slowly, from one sub-goal to the next, you will eventually reach the main goal.
      • For example, imagine that you have an office job that annoys you a lot. Set a goal for yourself: "to become a nurse in the emergency department in the next 3 years." Achieving this goal will seem intimidating right away, but if you set yourself sub-goals, such as “go to nursing school,” you will gradually move out of your comfort zone.
      • Allow yourself to feel a little uncomfortable as you get closer to your goal. You are probably surprised and feel positive emotions as you approach the main goal.

   Part 4

   Watch your progress

   1. Stay motivated. During the process of change, there are bound to be obstacles in your path. Learn to overcome them.

      • Be responsible for your choice. Let your friends and relatives follow your progress.
      • Don't work hard. You can run 16 km on the first day, but the next day you will be exhausted and unable to even move normally. Everything is good in moderation.
      • Control your internal dialogue with yourself. If you are talking to yourself in negative tones, stop! Throw negative thoughts out of your head, interrupt in mid-sentence, if necessary.
      • Find like-minded people. A support group will provide you with additional motivation.
   2. • If you succumb to old habits, write down the time and reason. Analyze possible causes. Maybe you're hungry, frustrated, or just tired.
      • Celebrate any success! If you had a good day, write it down! Success and progress motivate us to move on.

   3. Watch your health. It is much easier to conquer peaks when a person feels good. Keeping track of your health is beneficial not only because it will help you get your life back on track, but also because it helps you stay positive.

      • Eat right, sleep well, move. Set yourself goals that are not so easy to achieve - and you will give yourself a chance to change. Take care of your body and mind, and only then proceed to solve the problem.
      • It must be a long term change. While you will need to make an effort to cut out extra carbs/be the first to start talking/save money (depending on your goal), you'll get used to it soon enough.
   • Don't care what other people think of you. You are changing for yourself, not for them.
   • Change begins with the realization that it is necessary. If you don't know why you're making these changes, you're unlikely to achieve your goal.
   • You can change your life over and over again.
   • Smile! This is an automatic charge of positive for the whole day.
   • Do not give up! Pick up speed gradually and do not slow it down!
   • Don't change for someone - it won't bring you pleasure, especially if that person ever leaves your life. If you decide to change, do it only for yourself.
   • Travel. Go somewhere to unwind. You can discover new experiences, new people, and new perspectives that will help you change the way you think.
   • Remember that you must try and do everything to feel happy.
   • Changing your appearance can motivate you to change your inner world. (for example, strict clothes motivate to be more intelligent and quick-witted). But never confuse the two!
   • Be persistent. An action must be repeated at least 21 times before it becomes a habit. The first day will be hard, but every day it will get easier and easier.
   • Be yourself and don't think anyone else is better because everyone has their faults.