And own life experience for. Dependence on vivid impressions

Life experience. What is it and do we need it?

. A fool learns from his own mistakes, but a smart one learns from others. It turns out that the smart learn from the fools.
. Experience is the kind of thing that comes right after you need it.
. Life experience is a mass of valuable knowledge about how not to behave in situations that will never happen again.
. The wisdom of men is not proportional to their experience, but to their ability to acquire it. (Henry Shaw)
. Experience is the comb that gives us life when we have already lost our hair. (Judith Stern)
. Success depends on the right decision, the right decision is the result of experience, and experience, in turn, is the result of the wrong decision.

How often, in the process of arguing with people, I came across an explanation of their own rightness by the presence of rich life experience behind them. For a long time, this very life experience was perceived by me as something obligatory, which is also vital for me for a successful existence in everyday reality. It got to the point that I confused the knowledge of the world with the accumulation of life experience!

But really, why do we need life experience? Is it really necessary in everyday life? At first glance, the question is very stupid, but the further, the more I am convinced that there is also a catch here. We all know the saying that a person is the blacksmith of his own happiness. And that means bad luck! Although the latter is not desirable, but for some reason it is impossible to avoid it.

In from we say: we live, we get experience. And what is the experience worth, in which no conclusions are drawn? The experience is not transformed into a situation that would bring joy and happiness. Experience is different experience. Let's take some laboratory research. If they conduct one single experiment, they will not draw conclusions, they will not repeat the experiment with certain changes. So what is this experience? This turns out to be an unfinished research work, probably ... Or what? What is the point of doing half the experience? Just a mistake? Uncorrected, abandoned, abandoned halfway?

Suppose a person has been married for some time and divorced in the middle of life. Can this be considered experience?

To some extent, of course, the experience is like living together with a person of the opposite sex. The experience of conducting a joint economy - no doubt. Experience in resolving conflicts, finding common ground. The experience of having children, perhaps even the experience of raising them together. But is it possible to say that a person has gained experience in preserving a family? The experience of the divorce process, he acquired. What about family savings?

Or the upbringing of children. If you have given birth to a child, then you have gained the experience of giving birth to children. And when the child grew up, did you gain experience in raising a child? After all, someone really gets it, and someone does not. And by what result can we conclude that a person has gained experience in raising children? After all, it happens that he tried to educate, but the result does not please ... And neither the parent nor the child. Let's not take into account the cases when the child went his own way, and the parent arrives with unjustified expectations ... Or does it just seem to a person that he tried, fought, brought up? Or does it have nothing to do with upbringing? And from the examples that parents set for their children, too?

Why do we feel in our gut what kind of people with what experience can be trusted, and who will never and under no circumstances become an authority for us?
And some people really want to be. That is, authority. And if they are not recognized as an expert in any field, why are they trying in every possible way to impose their opinion, their point of view, their “correctness” and their “experience”?
In order not to admit to oneself that it was not an experience, that an unfinished experiment came out instead of an experience? Or just do not distinguish one from the other?

So then it turns out that “all men are goats”, “all women are mercantile” and other “everything” ... And what is the reason for “everyone”, or in a would-be experimenter? Who does not know: what questions to put before him, how to bring everything to mind, so as not to quit halfway, not to run away from the laboratory in impotence .... After all, the results and conclusions will depend on this.

The statement of some enlightened personalities that it is necessary to live here and now, in the current moment - I do not quite understand how such a life is possible. Here, pay attention to your mind. How is it arranged? The lion's share of free time our brain is occupied with memories of the past, the rest is occupied with dreams. The past has already passed, there is no need to remember it, regret again, mourn. It is our past that is considered to be life experience. But why is such a life experience necessary?

The more years we live, the more different situations we live. Once again, getting into this or that situation, we react based on past experience, sometimes without even thinking - almost automatically and ... we miss our chance!

Thus, people who have lived to old age do not exist in the present at all! All their thoughts are directed only to the past - to memories. But every moment of life is this fork with many lapels. Every second we are waiting for a lot of unrealized opportunities, a lot of options. But we do not see all this, because our life experience (and sometimes not only ours, but also successfully imposed by someone else, in the process of our upbringing) makes us react based on past situations.


But that experience was in the past! Responding to it in this way means going around in circles, repeating the same mistakes over and over again. From the world of the non-existent past. However, we all live in this world, again and again experiencing the events that once took place. It is not surprising that our life is gray and monotonous. And you try to drive the film on the cassette many times, it will all wear out over time and will begin to resemble life with the dullness of its frames ...

The same is true of the decisions we have made in the past. Once we make a choice in favor of one or another option, we regret for the rest of our lives and torment ourselves with thoughts about what would have happened if we had chosen another option. Such an experience confuses us during the next such situation. As a result, we simply play for time until there is no choice left. But it's just terrible! The thing is that no matter what path we choose, it will be right for us ...

The only life experience that we should learn is to live to the maximum in every moment of our lives. “Squeeze” everything out of this moment. And in no case do not judge him based on past experience. After all, every moment is a chance, a chance to taste real life, life without past and future, life outside of time ...

Every adult can boast that he has his own life experience. All the events that happen to us remain in memory, making up a certain baggage. Depending on this baggage, it is easy or difficult for us to go through life.

Suitcase without a handle

Imagine that all our lives we carry a suitcase in two hands: one of them with a “Good” sticker, and the other with a “Bad” sticker. Each case from our life has a certain weight.

Depending on the situation, we get life experience positive or negative. That is, a load is added to each suitcase.

Agree that you often see people who are "skewed" to one side, who do not believe in anything, who do not hear or see.

because they have a negative experience, i.e. a suitcase with a "bad" one is much heavier.

Most often, these suitcases are also without a handle - it’s completely inconvenient to carry, but it’s a pity to throw it away.

Therefore, there is nothing to take with a suitcase with a “good” experience - your hands are busy. Such people are closed from new opportunities, thanks to their "rich" life experience.

Success depends on the right decision, the right decision is the result of experience, and experience, in turn, is the result of the wrong decision.

Why is life experience needed?

An ancient man living in a cave needed the experience of hunting, making fire, preserving life in those difficult conditions. Thanks to natural selection, it has always survived - the strongest and most healthy.

Every little child gets experience communication with fire and sharp objects, so that later all my life I would treat them carefully.

Growing up, the baby gets already experience communication with peers, with the outside world, and the life of an adult already directly depends on the experience of all the years lived.

The wisdom of men is not proportional to their experience, but to their ability to acquire it. (Henry Shaw)

Life lessons

What do we learn from our experience? If our mistakes are repeated, i.e. we are constantly “stepping on the same rake”, can we say that we have experience?

Psychologists say: experience that has not been transformed into a situation that would bring you joy and happiness does not count as an experience.”

Experience is a lesson to remember and use to improve your life. Experience - these are the skills that we use in our profession, in dealing with people, in the family, so that our life becomes better and happier.

If you have given birth to a child, then you have received experience the birth of children. And when the child grew up, did you acquire experience raising a child? After all, someone really gets it, and someone does not.

A fool learns from his own mistakes, but a smart one learns from others. It turns out that the smart learn from the fools.

Is experience a bridge or a wall?

The more we live in this world, the more different situations we live, the more experience we gain. Often we react automatically to similar moments, without thinking, missing opportunities and chances.

Every moment we are waiting for a lot of options for unlimited possibilities. But we do not see this, because our experience, (and often not only ours, but someone else's, imposed in the process of education) makes us react to the situation, relying on the old "baggage" of past years.

The only thing you need to learn from your life experience is that every second, every moment you need to live to the maximum.

Do not compare it with previous moments, seconds, hours, days and years of past experience. Every moment is a new chance, a chance to live better, happier... a chance to know real life...

Experience is the comb that gives us life when we have already lost our hair. (Judith Stern)

Whose experience attracts us?

With some kind of sixth sense, we determine which people with what experience can be trusted, and who for us no one will ever become an authority.

In the environment, probably, of every person there are people who impose their point of view, their opinion, their experience.

They don't even think about what they experience can be called a failed experiment, as it did not lead to anything good.

We are attracted by the experience of successful people. People who, despite difficult life circumstances, had the courage to gain experience in achieving SUCCESS and VICTORY!

Buy with us experience positive thinking, pleasant communication with the outside world, experience HAPPINESS and JOY in life!

We cannot change our start, but we can change our attitude to life and change our FINISH!

to the winners!

What mistakes make life experience?

As John Dewey, an American philosopher, said, "A truly thinking person draws as much knowledge from his mistakes as from his successes." It is difficult to disagree with the author of the statement. Indeed, every person has made a mistake at least once in his life. But having made a mistake, he tried to learn a lesson from it, thereby gaining experience, becoming wiser. So what are the mistakes that life experience is made up of?

I believe that life experience is formed on those mistakes that a person makes himself, which make him not only feel, survive what happened, but also realize it. After all, it is through our mistakes that we can truly know and understand the essence of our wrong steps. There are many examples in Russian literature that confirm my idea. So, in the story of K.G. Paustovsky's "Telegram" the main character, Nastya, who lives in the city and works there, was so busy with her own affairs that she rarely remembered her mother. The author shows the girl’s heartlessness when she receives a letter from her mother with a request to come, the girl is not even in a hurry to read the news from the closest person: “She hid it in her purse without reading it, she decided to read it after work ... But the letter is in her purse unopened..." Only after she found out that her mother was dying, Nastya realizes that she made the most terrible mistake in her life, the price of which was the death of her mother. Thus, sometimes a person, making a mistake, does not think about its consequences, which may turn out to be irreparable. Only realizing what has been done, he gets a life experience. However, this lesson is cruel.

And also life experience is formed not only because of rash acts. There comes a time in everyone's life when they need to make the right decision. After all, a person, making the wrong choice, gains experience that will help him in the future. The story of Boris Ekimov "The Night of Healing" can serve as proof of this. The boy Grisha comes to his grandmother for the holidays. But before leaving, the mother gives advice to her son, so that he shouts "Silence!" to her grandmother, because the elderly woman often has nightmares and talks loudly at night. Night came, and Grisha was about to follow his mother's advice. But the author shows us how the boy showed a sense of compassion: "The boy's heart was flooded with pity and pain. Forgetting what he had thought about, he knelt down in front of the bed and began to convince, softly, affectionately ...". Grisha listened to himself and acted thoughtfully. The boy, comprehending how to be, makes the right choice, which gives him life experience.

Thus, life experience is made up of mistakes that are based on one's own experiences, experienced feelings, and understanding of what has been done.

Every person has experience in one way or another. Life experience is usually understood as a set of ideas about the world that allow you to make an individual opinion about a particular object, person or phenomenon. Life experience, no doubt, makes us wise and strong.

The problem of life experience

The problem of life experience lies in the fact that this knowledge about the environment is really acquired by each person independently. Someone else's life experience does not play any role in the formation of another person. As they say, everyone must fill their bumps, make mistakes that will help to draw the right conclusions, lead to the final goal. Some people are in no hurry to accept someone else's life experience, to take someone's beliefs on faith. This happens because it is difficult for us to imagine someone else being right, and neglecting our own opinion. In addition, someone else's life experience often becomes the opposite of our own. The problem with life experience is that not all people are ready to acknowledge its existence. Some willingly continue to deny the acquired knowledge in order to try to forget the past and the problems associated with it as soon as possible.

Features of life experience

What gives the life experience of the individual? First of all, the opportunity to always have a choice. Having a certain life experience, a person has an enviable freedom: he decides when and how to act. This is a wonderful advantage, because only a free person can be called fully accomplished and mature. In the absence of life experience, a person will be lost, seek support from others. But the older we get, the easier it is to make decisions. Gradually, a person gets used to taking responsibility for himself, to think about the consequences of his steps. What is included in the life experience? Let's consider in more detail.

Individual experience

The life experience of one person is his immutable truth. It does not always correspond to the ideas and worldview of other people. If for one the greatest value is the family and children, then for another, a career and career growth are extremely important. It would be wrong to blame your opponent for not meeting your expectations. The problem of understanding between people lies in the fact that they do not want to give in to each other, to accept a point of view that is different from their own.

Life experience is the greatest good, spiritual wealth, which must be treated with extreme care. This treasure requires close attention and respect. Only a small percentage of people know how to appreciate what they really have, and these are truly happy individuals. Life experience always contributes to the formation of a certain view of the world. This opinion is made up of those events that evoke a specific emotional response in the soul. The individualization of life experience emphasizes the basic values ​​​​of a person, how he makes decisions, what kind of environment is next to him. From the same events, individual people will make different impressions, form an individual life experience.

Dependence on vivid impressions

In the process of knowing the world, we accumulate various impressions, which subsequently teach us to recognize information, to divide it into components. This is facilitated just by the presence of life experience. The habit of evaluating current events is due to certain life experiences. If from childhood a person is accustomed to accept kindness, warmth from loved ones, was surrounded by attention and affection, he will form a positive attitude towards the surrounding reality. Otherwise, he will be forced to fight all his life with imaginary "monsters" that exist only in his head.

Life experience forms dependence on impressions. Positive images affect the personality in a positive way: she learns to trust close people and the world as a whole. Life experience is necessary for the formation of priorities. Attitude to surrounding people and events also depends entirely on life experience. The most important thing is to be able to accumulate in the heart a sufficient amount of bright and pleasant emotions. The more intense and positive they are, the more interesting the life experience itself will turn out.

Ability to act quickly

The life experience of each of us is the greatest blessing. Decision-making depends entirely on how accurately a person is able to formulate a goal, set realistic goals for himself. The ability to act quickly, without hesitation, is an invaluable quality. Of course, fears and doubts cannot be completely eliminated from life, but they can be made an integral part of a rich life experience.

Life experience will always tell you how to do the right thing. You will not have to suffer for a long time and doubt the correctness of your next decision. That is why a person performs some actions quite simply, as if on an automatic machine - experience helps him. In its absence, doubts, panicky self-doubt and fears begin to overcome. They cannot be avoided, it is important to gain the necessary life experience before moving forward.

Know how to trust your life experience, then you will be able to get out of the most difficult situations with honor. We need it to act actively, relying on our own intuition and worldview.

Thus, life experience is an integral part of self-knowledge, perhaps its main component. It helps us maintain peace of mind in moments of difficult trials, encourages us in failures, makes us believe in ourselves again after a crushing fall.

Can there be anything more convincing for us than our own life experience, based on which we build our associations and beliefs, which often become basic? Of course, this cannot be attributed to those people who can endlessly step on the same rake, and at the same time not see any relationship with their previous experience, but rare cases of idiocy are an exception to the rule. Basically, any significant event of the past, which played a significant role in a person’s life, will certainly become his basis for his beliefs in the future, in NLP this is called an imprint - a rather interesting name from my point of view, apparently characterizing NLP, because it could well get by with the concept of experience. And since this term is on everyone's lips, I will use it, for your convenience, dear readers. So the imprint or our life experience, whatever we call it, forms our point of view, forms our behavior and the course of action, in case of a scenario repetition of the events of the past.

But as life shows, there is no absolute regularity in it, and whatever a person’s personal life experience in a particular issue, it can always be revised from a new position. In this regard, even idiots seem to be more advanced people, and if it were not for the thoughtlessly similar algorithm of actions on their part, leading to the same mistakes, they would not even be called idiots. Experience, as we know, can be positive or negative, and both have a certain effect on our psyche, and the less adequate perception a person has, the correspondingly this certain influence is less certain for him. How often do people analyze what happened in their lives, analyze, look for cause-and-effect relationships, try to understand the structure of what happened? But this is precisely what allows you to take control of a similar situation in the future, in which at least your own actions will not be identical to the actions of the past.

Whatever happens in life with obvious constancy, all this has an end, according to our history, the sun has been rising for several thousand years, if we take the history of mankind, but we all understand that even it will someday go out. In our life, everything is more fleeting, and therefore it is extremely important not to hang on to the same scenario, which is the same in a person’s head, and which builds a solid foundation of a stereotype in his head. In NLP, the reprogramming of beliefs is called a re-imprint, this is for general information, but for a simple understanding, this can be formulated as a change in beliefs to others. And this is actually a key point to which we must certainly pay attention. The key word in it is belief, which characterizes the way the world is perceived by unconscious people, who are guided in their lives by beliefs, and not by self-made calculations.

A person whose life is built on beliefs is easy enough to manage by making an artificial relationship of this or that event with his beliefs and turning it in the way you need. In this case, any negative experience may cause inaction in the future, a person may experience a feeling of helplessness and panic just because he does not have the necessary algorithm of actions in case the negative situation repeats, and he cannot form a new one along the way. As an example, you can take any situation of instilling uncertainty in a person, pointing out to him his negative experience of the past, which actually has nothing to do with the present, but nevertheless acts depressingly on him. In this way, people, as they say, clip the wings of others, subjugate their will to themselves, as happens in many enterprises, where a person is constantly pointed to his place, not a privileged one, but a place of a loser.

At the same time, the positive experience of the past, too, cannot be the basis for blind self-confidence, or even extremely overestimated self-confidence, because no matter how much you inspire yourself with the capabilities of a superman, they will not appear in you. Inflated self-esteem has a number of advantages, but devoid of common sense, it often leads to irreparable mistakes. After all, enthusiasm alone is not enough to conquer new heights; an accurate, cold calculation is also needed, which should be based on the reliable data available at the moment, and not on the successful experience of the past. Of course, personal life experience should not be ignored, but it is obvious that they must be used as a unit of account for the present, but using it as a guide without analysis, taking into account only a possible pattern, is simply unreasonable. For example, if you stole something once and did not get caught, is this the basis for the idea of ​​​​your own impunity?

Of course no! And no one can say with complete certainty which attempt may be unsuccessful, and after all, each subsequent one will proceed from the pattern of past experience, or rather from beliefs about such a pattern, when a person who simply blindly believes in another successful attempt, not only will not see the error , but will not take into account the external factors that preceded it. However, everything I write here is very difficult to apply to most people, since it requires a conscious approach to living in the present, and according to statistics, most people do not live it. It is stereotypes and beliefs, based both on personal life experience and on an artificial form of persuasion, that are the basis of the life attitudes of the majority. And yet, since you are reading me, here is the door leading to a meaningful life, I don’t give you any convictions, everything follows from a logical chain, the construction of which largely transforms our thinking and, accordingly, affects our psyche and perception the surrounding world.

The past, your own or someone else's, is not the basis for the present, it is its prerequisite, so use it to calculate the formation of the future, working in the present, and most importantly, do not allow the indisputability of those patterns that take place today, since they are to a certain extent you restrict. A person who has not succeeded in ten attempts will not necessarily succeed in the eleventh attempt, and no personal life experience confirms this, you just need to use this experience to build a new, error-oriented, or even more correct to say shortcomings of the past, strategy.