How to find a common language. Words to Avoid in a Resume

Any person from time to time has to worry about how he looks in the eyes of others. Someone - fitting into a new company, others - joining the team or getting to know relatives of the second half.

First of all, when entering a new circle of people, do not worry too much. You should not set yourself up for a negative result in advance and think that everyone and everyone will examine you. After all, you still do not know how you will be received, so why expect a cold reception in advance? If you feel that you are not confident in yourself and are very worried, work on your self-esteem in advance.

Take care of the first impression. They meet, as you know, by clothes, which means that it is important to take this rule into account. If you are going to an interview, think about the dress code in advance. When you go out on your first day at work, also think about clothes: if the company where you got a job has a strict dress code, you will look defiant in jeans, and if, on the contrary, a free style and conducive to easy communication is adopted, defiant ones will already turn out to be your formal blouse or tight tie. The same should be taken into account for those who are worried before an important meeting with parents or friends of the second half.

Don't fit in with those around you. Having taken care of your appearance and that you are "accepted as one of your own", remember that you are a new person. You may not be accepted right away, and there is nothing wrong with that. You should not build yourself into your boyfriend or best friend of everyone around: this may seem strange. But after waiting for some time, you yourself will feel like your own person, to whom you are accustomed and whom you have accepted.

Choose a topic for conversation. Try to find out how your strangers feel about music, politics, cinema. What is better not to talk about, and what they consider inappropriate - the latter is especially important when you choose a topic for the first conversation.

Use the "echo" technique. Its essence is very simple - try to unobtrusively repeat the pose of the interlocutor, copy a couple of his gestures, just make sure that it does not look like you are trying to imitate the person with whom you are talking. Notice the speaker's key words and then use them to respond. This behavior is subconsciously endearing - you make it clear that you share the point of view of the person with whom you are talking.

Say nice things. No, fawning, of course, is not worth it. But if you liked your colleague's hairstyle or her manicure, and your future husband's mother cooks well, why not give a compliment? It costs you nothing, and your interlocutor will be pleased to hear sincere words.

Don't gossip. Even if it's accepted and you want to "fit in" - beware. It's better not to talk about people in the third person.

Expand your horizons. Make it a rule to learn something new every day, in the most unexpected areas. Even if it seems to you that this advice has nothing to do with your problem, try it anyway. By diversifying topics for conversation, in any case, you will only win.

Keep what you promise. So your word will gain weight, you will demonstrate that you are a reliable person who can be relied upon and trusted.

Be mindful of sign language. A stooped back, a “closed” posture, arms crossed on your chest - all this makes it clear that you are not confident in yourself, fenced off from the interlocutor, or even want to end the conversation at all. If you are afraid to look cheeky, rehearse in front of a mirror.

Finally, don't be afraid of trouble. This attitude can literally program yourself for failure. And then, instead of communicating with pleasure, you will have to think how to get rid of the negative program. We wish you good luck, mutual understanding, and don't forget to press the buttons and

I could never find a common language with my parents, and in general, to be honest, with people. Well, of course - you can talk about the weather with friends and with unfamiliar people. But when I start to decide something, even some trifle, especially with close people, everything goes awry. Either I speak incomprehensibly, or something ... Well, they don’t understand me. And it infuriates me - I just turn to screaming. And I understand that this is wrong. But I can't stop. And the nerves are on edge. Already the eye began to twitch. What to do? How to calm down and how to learn to easily find a common language, so that without psychos and nerves?

In your question, you very correctly placed the accents - indeed, the problem lies not in other people who do not respond to your words, but in ourselves. Because it is we who fail to convey our idea by formulating it correctly.

And a cry, an irritated conversation in raised tones is always a reaction not to your interlocutor, but to your own internal states. The most interesting thing is that screaming in this situation not only does not help, but on the contrary, exacerbates the problem. After all, shouting does not work to improve your condition, get rid of irritation, shortages, stress.

How to find a common language with people in life without shouting and swearing?

Think for yourself - if the other person does not understand the meaning of the words spoken in a calm voice, then it is unlikely that it will reach him if you shout the same thing. Yes, yelling is psychologically overwhelming, which can lead to the other person simply agreeing with you without even understanding what you are asking for. But there is a possibility that he will start shouting back, defending his innocence. In any of these cases, the cry does not help to find a common language with people, but on the contrary, it drives us into the abyss of misunderstanding and hostility. Relationships, as a rule, deteriorate after such communication, and it is very difficult to fix them.

The ability to find a common language with others is also a skill. And it can be learned. Almost every modern adult is capable of this. You have already taken the first step towards this - you have recognized that the problem is in you. This is a huge step that most of us do not overcome in a lifetime.

Many today cannot figure out how to find mutual language with people so that your communication becomes more pleasant, so that you are a good conversationalist and attract positive friends and buddies into your life. After all, all life is impossible without communication, so until we learn to find a common language with the people around us, we will not be able to achieve success.

This article will show you how to find mutual language with people, what needs to be done for this, what methods and tips are there to improve relationships with others. Anyone who learns to find a common language with any person can achieve anything in life he wants.

Understand what people want

To get along with people, first understand what they want. Start a conversation about what will be useful for your interlocutor, and end with what you need. To receive something, you must first give it away.

Try to talk less

To find a common language with a person, give him the opportunity to speak more than you. Listen carefully, support and extract the information you need. So you will get more benefit, as you will learn something new and become a good friend and interlocutor for this person.

smile

To get along with people, try to smile during a conversation if it's appropriate, especially when your interlocutor is joking.

Respect people

You also need to learn to respect and appreciate the person with whom you communicate and then, he will do the same.

Don't take too long, speak clearly

To find mutual language with a person, you need to stop taking him and your time for nothing. Immediately talk about specific things that will help this person and you as well. People think of themselves most of the time, so offer them something they can't refuse.

Try to speak confidently and clearly

To find a common language, try to speak confidently and pronounce words clearly. If a person does not understand you, then it is unlikely that you will achieve his respect for yourself and find common ways out of a particular problem.

Compromise

Do not criticize, do not quarrel or argue

Remember to find a common language with any person, never quarrel and do not see each other for criticism. Even if you are the best versed in this or that issue, but the person does not want to listen to you and proves his point of view, it is better to leave the conversation and never return to it.

But if it is possible to turn to facts and logical resolutions of the dispute, then prove in practice what is true. But at the same time, do not leave the interlocutor in an awkward position. Support his point of view and offer to turn to more detailed facts and examples, rather than mere words.

psycho- olog. en

Understand what people want

To find mutual language with people, you need to become like them. People like people who are like them. Try immediately during a conversation to copy the conversation style of the interlocutor and then it will seem to him that you are one of his close friends. Find out how to make friends.

Try to talk less

To get along with people, try to smile during a conversation if it's appropriate, especially when your interlocutor is joking.

You also need to learn to respect and appreciate the person with whom you communicate and then, he will do the same.

Don't take too long, speak clearly

Try to speak confidently and clearly

Compromise

To find a common language and agree with any person, you need to compromise. Rise above your selfishness and try to understand what this person wants. Offer him everything he is looking for in exchange for what you need. Make sure that neither he nor you remain losers. Find out: how to become the soul of the company.

Do not criticize, do not quarrel or argue

How to win over an interlocutor

There are several simple ways, following which, you can easily find a common language with different people.

Remember, in a conversation, addressing a person by name, unconsciously there is a positive disposition of the interlocutor towards you.

Be polite, do not skimp on compliments, but at the same time be careful not to "overdo it", do not strum. Speak clearly, do not raise your voice. Of great importance is the tone of speech, through which feelings and emotions are conveyed. You should work on the setting of your voice, its timbre, speak at a normal volume so that you are not thought of as a timid or, conversely, a sharp and aggressive person.

We are all very different, but in some ways we are always similar. In a conversation, focus on what you have in common (“I also have a small child, like you, girl”, “We graduated from the same school / institute”, “I also like to grow flowers!”). This will allow your conversation to flow without tension, without unnecessary pauses, freely and easily, new topics for discussion will appear.

Be not only a good storyteller, but also a listener

Once a friend of mine was introduced to a handsome young man. But after talking with him, she did not want to continue their acquaintance and friendship. The reason was precisely that he could not be a good listener, despite the fact that it was predominantly a girl who spoke! But, she said, apparently not to him, but to the surrounding air, since in the conversation he asked things that had already been said before, or added something extraneous that was not related to the topic. Therefore, be able to listen, listen carefully, showing interest, do not interrupt. It will definitely be appreciated!

The posture should be relaxed, facing the interlocutor, the body is slightly tilted. Make eye contact, exchange glances, nod your head in approval. The hands should be relaxed, open palms up means sincerity and openness. Try to avoid crossing your arms over your chest (defensive posture).

Also, by changing postures and gestures of your interlocutor, you can understand how comfortable it is for him to communicate with you, talking about what he likes, and which ones are alarming. From here, in order to maximally arrange a person for communication, you yourself will be able to choose the most suitable topic for conversation.

You can show a person his importance by sharing his emotions and experiences, asking his opinion on a vital issue that interests you, telling something personal about yourself.

Psychological training MASTER OF COMMUNICATION or

"MASTER OF COMMUNICATION" or

Adults and teenagers from 15 and older are allowed to participate in the training. You can come alone with a teenage child.

Communication is our whole life!

Effective communication is our success!

90% of relationship problems are communication problems! Learn to communicate and your whole life will improve!

It is important for every person to know the psychology of communication. BUT the psychology of communication is not taught in school!

To communicate effectively, it is important to know the psychological type of a person and understand how to find an approach specifically to him. Communication without taking into account the psychological type of a person cannot be effective.

Probably, you had situations when you could not agree with someone, find a common language. Or you could not understand the other person, accept his values and beliefs. Admit it, how often have you wanted to change another person? And in the end, you only spoiled your relationship with him.

Thanks to training "How to find a common language with people of different types?" you will be able to better understand people, understand them better, and as a result, improve relationships with them.

After the training you will be able to:

In this psychological training “How to find a common language with people of different types?” you will learn how to easily make contact, quickly determine the psychological types of people without special tests, find an approach to any person, master the techniques of verbal and non-verbal communication, determine the psychotypes of your loved ones and learn how to competently build communication with them and improve relationships.

If you find it difficult to connect with people or find an approach to another person, you will overcome communication barriers. You will improve relationships in the family, at work, with friends, loved ones, you will be able to expand your circle of acquaintances, meet and build relationships with the man or woman of your dreams! And it's all thanks to effective communication.

Effective communication skills will greatly enhance your quality of life and your success. Psychological training is especially important for those whose work is related to communication: for advertising and insurance agents, salespeople, managers, and leaders.

Conducts psychological training "How to find a common language with people of different types?" or "Master of Communication" a well-known psychologist, coach, trainer, expert in the field of psychology of interpersonal relations, who has repeatedly participated in programs on central television and radio - Dmitry Vitalievich Seinov.

To view the schedule, click SCHEDULE

The training takes place in the office of the 5 YES! in the center of Moscow

m. Okhotny Ryad (5-7 m. p.), Teatralnaya, pl. Revolutions (15 l.), Pushkinskaya, Chekhovskaya, Tverskaya (20 m. p.)

Come together. 10% discount — 5500 4950 r. from a person.

"HOW TO FIND A COMMON LANGUAGE WITH PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT TYPES" or "MASTER OF COMMUNICATION":

Training "Master of communication" or "How to find a common language with people of different types" is easy to understand. The training provides detailed instructions for action. I understood how to build communication with people. I determined my psychological type and the types of my relatives. I will try to determine the psychological types of all the people with whom I communicate, and build conversations based on the recommendations from the training. Thank you very much Dmitry!

I always had problems with communication, I was very complex because of this. The psychological training "Master of Communication" helped me remove barriers in communication and learn how to quickly and easily make contact, I consider this the most important thing. It became easy for me to talk about nothing, on not very serious topics, to tell something and even to convince and persuade.

Zarubina Marina, 25 years old.

At the psychological training "Master of Communication" I discovered a lot of new things, although I never had any particular problems in communication. It is important that I learned to quickly determine the psychological type of a person and, on the basis of this, find an approach to him. I realized how to pick up “their key” for each person. I realized my mistakes, why I could not agree with some people before.

Kazantsev Petr, 35 years old.

The psychological training "Master of Communication" helped me to determine the psychological types not only of my relatives, but also of my colleagues and regular customers. As a result, I found an approach to even the most difficult clients. With those with whom I used to find it difficult to work, it became easy for me. In addition, she revised her relationship with her relatives and began to relate to them differently. ”

Suvorova Tatiana, 32

I really liked the psychological training "How to find a common language with people of different types":

firstly, I was able to determine what psychological type I am;

secondly, I realized that for effective communication it is necessary to listen to people;

thirdly, I began to determine the psychological types of my relatives.

Right tonight I will take a closer look at them in order to clearly define their psychological types. Also, in the near future I will definitely look for an approach to close people and colleagues, taking into account the knowledge about psychotypes received at the training. Very interesting.

Sources:
How to get along with people
Many today cannot understand how to find a common language with people so that your communication becomes more pleasant, so that you are a good conversationalist and attract positive friends and acquaintances into your life.
http://psyh-olog.ru/2014/09/kak-najti-obshhij-yazyk-s-lyudmi/
How to win over an interlocutor
It is very important to win over the interlocutor when meeting. There are several simple ways, following which, you can easily find a common language with different people.
http://mirsovetov.ru/a/psychology/relations/win-buddy.html
Psychological training MASTER OF COMMUNICATION or
How to find a common language with people? Psychology of communication? How to find a common language with different people? How to connect with people of different types? How to make contact? How to communicate with people of different types? How to properly communicate with people? How to find a common language with people of different types? Non-verbal communication. Verbal communication with people of different types. How to quickly determine the type of person? Psychological types of people. Personality types. Psychological training of the Center for psychological support of business and family "5 Yes!". We invite everyone to our trainings and consultations
http://www.5da.ru//masterword.html

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There are a lot of interesting people around who are ready to share the joy with us, give advice, help in a professional way, or just talk about abstract topics. But what if you're shy and talking to another person gives you panic attacks?

Stop worrying and listen to the advice from books that will help you connect with others.

Don't be afraid to appear vulnerable

Most of us just feel like we stand out a lot. After all, each person is the center of his universe. because we're so fixated on our behavior, it's hard for us to accurately gauge how close - or superficial - attention others are paying to us. in fact, there is often a discrepancy between how we see ourselves (and think others do) and how others see us. Most will not notice your mistakes and oversights. But what about those who see them?

Vulnerability is attractive. Gaffes show that we are human and increase our attractiveness to others.

Scientists Elliot Aronson, Ben Willerman and Joanne Floyd set out to find out what people really think about those who make mistakes. They asked study participants to listen to a recording of a student saying how well they did on a test. First, he talks about the preparation, and then modestly adds that he completed 90% of the task.

But here's the catch: One group of subjects was given a tape in which you can hear the student at the end spilling a cup of coffee on himself and planting a stain. The other did not hear any of this. The scientists asked both groups what impression the student made on them.

And you know what? In the recording where the student spilled coffee on himself, he seemed more attractive to the subjects and received a higher rating.

Learn to joke

Not a single speech by the leaders of different countries is complete without a joke, and there can be no more serious and responsible work.

The ability to joke helps to reduce the tension of discussing any acute problem. But a joke must be presented like a gourmet dish from a chef. There is no need to hurry, and in no case should the speaker himself laugh at his witticism.

Look for strings

Tie Theory is an incredibly easy way to start a conversation, and besides, you will always have a few thoughts to continue the conversation. The more common topics, that is, threads, you find, the longer your communication will last - and the more sympathy you will cause.

People: Mutual acquaintances are the best way to find similar interests. You can spice up the conversation by trying to find mutual friends.

Context: Think you have nothing in common? Remember what brought you to this meeting. Maybe you're both on LinkedIn, or you're both on a conference call. To start a conversation, you just need to know about the motives.

Interests: Shared interests are the best connecting threads: you can come up with a topic that both of you understand, it will bring to mind many amazing stories and will be the key to a great mood.

An effective way to achieve mutual understanding with the interlocutor is to adjust to the pace of his speech. That is, if he speaks fast enough, you should try to speak at the same pace, unless, of course, this gives you too much inconvenience.

Matching the pace of speech is necessary not only for mutual understanding. Different people perceive and process information at different speeds. This is reflected in the speed of speech.

Therefore, if someone speaks relatively slowly, or the pace of their speech is noticeably slower than yours, this may mean that he needs to think carefully.

Be an enthusiastic fan

People like to be labeled positively. They improve our self-image and gently push us to be better.

from a few phrases that you can use.

- “Yes, you know everyone here - you must be an expert in networking!”

“I am overwhelmed by your dedication to this company - they are incredibly lucky to have you.”

- "You are so knowledgeable in this matter - how glad I am that you are among the guests today."

Let the interlocutor charm you, let him impress you. Listen to how eloquently he paints his ideas. Find a way to enhance their effect. Share his enthusiasm.