How to increase self-esteem for a woman tips. How to increase self-esteem for a man: practical recommendations and advice from a psychologist

Have you ever wondered why people who started once in the same conditions, life develops differently? Why are you marking time for years, failing after failure, while your peers succeed in all areas?

Why do you waste yourself on unloved work, empty conversations with uninteresting people, and you have neither time nor energy left for what is really valuable? Does life seem gray and meaningless to you, do you get depressed because of every trifle, and someone feels like a favorite of fortune and confidently walks through life?

Is there a way out? There is always a way out of any, even the most hopeless situation, and far from one. But in order to radically change the course of events for the better, it is necessary to study the essence of the problem in detail. The reason for your failures often lies in the underestimation of their merits.

Everything could have turned out differently if you knew what to do and how to find the path that will lead to success and help you believe in your new result. How to raise your level? Why did he suddenly fall down? After all, you once studied well, were bright, talented, showed great promise. What happened?

Why don't you appreciate yourself? 4 main reasons

Reason one: wrong upbringing

Remember the phrase that has already set the teeth on edge: “We all come from childhood”? No matter how trite it may sound, but our vision of ourselves is laid in childhood. Many parents do not even suspect what harm they do to their child, constantly criticizing him, comparing him with others, extolling other people's successes and emphasizing his failures.

Such parents and educators believe that this model of education will spur the child on, stimulate high achievements, without thinking at all about what the baby really feels. It turns out the opposite effect: they lay in a small person a complex of the so-called “excellent student syndrome”. Can you guess what it could lead to in the future? That's right - only to the fact that the child will not love himself.

Throughout his life, he will be haunted by fear - to make a mistake. Because of this, he will miss opportunity after opportunity, refuse to implement interesting ideas, afraid to do something wrong. As a result, he will not be able to realize himself, he will consider himself a loser. And it’s good if one day the right person, a wise book or a film comes across on his way, which will make him understand the essence of the problem and think about his future life.

Reason two: ridicule from peers

Children, sometimes unconsciously, are very cruel. And the trouble is for those who cannot stand up for themselves. Often timid, shy children become targets of ridicule and bullying from their more self-confident peers. Trifling events are transformed by children's consciousness to universal meanings.

Well, just think, he made a mistake at the blackboard or knocked over something from the teacher's table with an awkward movement. The class laughed and forgot about the incident after a couple of minutes.

And insecure children will worry about the incident for a long time, feel like losers, guilty, thereby creating the basis for new mockery from their peers. And the task of adults is not to let the situation take its course, to be puzzled by how to help the child accept and love himself, to calm, encourage and protect him.

Reason three: negative environment

A person is able to adequately evaluate himself when there are interesting, purposeful people in his environment who serve as an example for him to follow, stimulate his development as a person, encourage good undertakings and aspirations.

In such an environment, they are not puzzled by the fact that a person cannot accept himself, because these people know their capabilities, set ambitious goals for themselves and successfully achieve them. If you live surrounded by gray townsfolk who can only rant about a better life without doing anything, then such a norm of behavior will gradually become familiar to you.

Any manifestation of initiative and thoughts on how to overcome self-doubt will only cause condemnation and sneers here. These people will wash the bones of others and complain about life, taking away your energy. Do you think it's worth spending time on them?

Reason Four: Physical Disabilities

Unattractive appearance can really become a serious problem for a person. Since childhood, many have experienced mocking ridicule from peers and short-sighted adults about excess weight, poor eyesight, short stature, and you never know what else.

Often, the inferiority complex associated with appearance is far-fetched, especially in adolescence, when children are extremely self-critical. If all the media promote strict beauty standards that you do not fit into by any means. How can you not get depressed?

There are also serious health problems that a person cannot influence, alas. But even in these cases, there are always means to accept yourself and feel confident, despite your physical ailment. So, we figured out what the root of "evil" is. Now let's look for a way out - ways to overcome uncertainty. In fact, there can be a lot of them, let's analyze at least 10 main ones that have long been tested and proven.

10 ways to raise your standards

Method 1: Change your environment

As a social being, a person is at least half dominated by his environment. Do you want to be rich, self-sufficient and self-confident? Surround yourself with such people! Each of them at one time thought about how to profitably present themselves and become confident, and started somewhere.

Successful people, consciously or intuitively following karmic laws, as a rule, turn out to be much simpler and more benevolent than they think.

Having reached the heights themselves, they will be happy to meet you halfway, charge you with positive energy, and help you become better and more successful. You will have new goals and opportunities. Your life will sparkle with new colors, it will make sense. Trust me, it works!

Method 2: Upload Your Brain, Don't Stop Learning

Think back to when you were young. Many of you were self-confident, full of hopes and ambitions. Everything was easy for you, you grasped everything literally on the fly! Why isn't it right now? Why is it that any need to learn at least something new now causes you complete rejection and drives you into depression?

Yes, because then your brain worked hard, every day you received new knowledge. What's stopping you from doing it now? Read useful books, watch wise films, start learning a foreign language, a new computer program, master a new profession, finally.

Download your brain, let it work in full force, and then you will not have problems with how to become self-confident. You will be busy to the fullest, and you simply will not physically have time for depressive conclusions.

If you are not satisfied with your job and want to start doing what you love, then now there are plenty of opportunities to get almost any profession remotely via the Internet, even if you are already of a respectable age or live in a small town or village where there are no educational institutions.

Step 3: Don't compare yourself to others

If you're really confused about how to love yourself, stop comparing yourself to other people. Each person is interesting and unique in their own way. There will always be someone smarter, prettier, more powerful or richer than you.

Although, no matter what we say, a person by nature tends to compare himself with others. In this case, turn this fact in your favor: let someone else's success serve as an example and stimulus for your own development, and not as a reason for envy and despondency.

4 way: love yourself

No one can love and appreciate you until you do it yourself. Believe me, everyone has flaws. It's just that someone skillfully hides them, and someone gets hung up on them, and then does not know how to get out of it.

Better pay attention to your merits. It's impossible that you don't have them. Find something to praise yourself for, what are your strengths. Make a list of your accomplishments and post it in a prominent place. Concentrate on them, cultivate, develop them in yourself.

Method 5: indulge yourself

Give yourself permission to pamper yourself sometimes. And it doesn’t matter at all what: a fashionable gadget, a beautiful new thing, going to the theater or something tasty. Stop fulfilling only the whims of your relatives. After all, you deserve better too. And this is another great way to start appreciating yourself.

Method 6: Learn to Accept Compliments

When compliments are given to you, accept them with joy and gratitude. After all, if you throw back “not worth it”, “yes, nothing special”, you not only underestimate your self-esteem, but also offend people who say nice things to you completely sincerely. Therefore, if you do not know how to love and accept yourself, where to start - first of all, reconsider your attitude towards yourself.

Method 7: Work on your weaknesses

The easiest way is to complain about fate without doing anything to change your life for the better. Are you unhappy with your extra weight? Work on it: go to the gym, go to the pool, do yoga, start eating right. There are many ways to get in shape and improve your physical condition, it's not for me to teach you. Then your thoughts will come into full order.

Everyone can achieve serious heights and universal recognition, even people with serious health problems. Take at least the Paralympians or think of Nick Vuychich. It is they who teach and inspire perfectly healthy people how to cope with their problems and accept themselves. You just need to have a great desire and an iron will. Make a decision once and for all and take action.

Step 8: Do what you love

Doing what you love is another way to yourself. Find time in your life for this, and it does not matter at all in what status, whether the main work or a hobby. After all, only doing what we love, we get the opportunity to express and realize ourselves to the fullest.

Are you not hired for an interesting job because you lack knowledge? Yes, unfortunately, life does not stand still, and what you were once taught in college or university is no longer relevant. Take courses, attend workshops, find yourself a tutor, or take training online.

Method 9: Be honest

Very often people are forced to behave insincerely, they cannot honestly and openly speak out about everything that does not suit them. Because either they are too dependent on other people, or they are afraid of offending someone. And it hurts their self-esteem. How to stop being afraid?

Very simple - always be sincere. Believe me, people will appreciate this quality and will be grateful to you. Even if you feel hostility towards someone, it is better to express it openly and try to resolve the conflict than to pretend to be friends all your life, while holding a stone in your bosom.

10 way: act!

This is perhaps the surest tactic on the way to how to love yourself and accept your qualities. If you continue to sit with folded arms and silently endure all the blows of fate, then you will finally cease to respect yourself. What then to expect from others? Do not hesitate, take your first step into a new life right now.

Conclusion

If you have read this article to the end, then most likely you are also thinking about how to come to yourself, love and respect yourself, and also make positive changes in your life. Believe me, you can do this at any age, at any level of training, there would be a desire. You are quite capable of achieving recognition and increasing your income.

To become successful (no matter where exactly) you need to have confidence in your own abilities. It is extremely difficult for a person with low self-esteem to succeed and even just become happy: their whole life is built on doubts, disappointments and companies in themselves. And at this time, bright moments fly by, stopping in front of those who are confident in their abilities. Today we will reflect on how to increase self-esteem and love yourself with the help of simple and effective techniques.

This is a person's understanding of the importance of his own personality and individuality in the context of relationships with other people, as well as an assessment of his qualities, pluses and minuses. Self-esteem plays a huge role in the normal activity of a person in society and in solving various everyday problems: realization, family, finances and spirituality.

This quality performs the following functions:

protection - ensuring the stability and relative autonomy of a person from the opinions of other people;
regulation - gives people the opportunity to make personal choices;
development - providing an incentive for self-improvement.

Ideally, self-esteem is based only on a person's own opinion of himself. However, in real life, it is influenced by multiple side factors, for example, the assessment of others: parents, peers, friends, friends and colleagues.

Adequate self-esteem (or ideal) experts call the most accurate assessment of the personality of their skills and abilities. Low self-esteem often leads to excessive doubt, introspection, and withdrawal. Too high is fraught with loss of caution and making multiple mistakes.

It is important to know! In psychological practice, low self-esteem is more common, when a person is not able to reveal his own potential, and in especially severe cases, experts talk about an inferiority complex.

What affects self-esteem?

So, the meaning of adequate self-perception is to "love" yourself as a real one - even with minuses, shortcomings and various "vices". Everyone has flaws, but a confident person is distinguished from others by the fact that he, first of all, notices his successes and is able to present himself favorably to society.

If you hate yourself or just consider yourself a failure, how can another person love you? Psychologists note an interesting fact: most people subconsciously (and perhaps knowingly) gravitate towards communicating with self-sufficient individuals. Usually they prefer to choose such as business partners, friends and spouses.

Symptoms of low self-esteem

In people with similar problems, such character traits are most often distinguished as:

Low self-esteem causes a person to perceive temporary failures and problems as permanent "life partners", which leads to wrong conclusions and wrong decisions. Do you feel bad about yourself? Get ready for the fact that others will react negatively to you. And this is already fraught with alienation, depressive moods and even emotional disorders.

4 reasons for low self-esteem

It is extremely difficult to indicate all the factors influencing the attitude of the individual towards himself. Psychologists attribute to them innate characteristics, appearance and position in society. Next, we look at the four most common causes of low self-esteem in a person.

Reason #1.

Have you heard the phrase that every problem “grows” from childhood? In our situation, it fits one hundred percent. At an early age, there is a direct dependence of the child's self-esteem on the attitude of parents and other significant adults towards him. If a mother and father constantly scold and compare children with their peers, they will not have faith in their own abilities.

Psychological science claims that it is the family that is the center of the universe for the child. In the cell of society, absolutely all the character traits of the future adult are formed. Lack of initiative, uncertainty, passivity are the consequences of parental attitudes.

Reason number 2. Children's failures

We all face failure, the most important thing is our reaction to them. Psychological trauma in childhood can cause low self-esteem. For example, a child begins to blame himself for the divorce of his mother and father or family scandals. Constant guilt turns into insecurity and unwillingness to make decisions.

In addition, children react sharply to any harmless failure. Ranked second in a competition? An older person will simply redouble their efforts to achieve the goal, and a small person may refuse to work at all, especially if a significant adult has injured him with a ridicule or a careless remark.

Reason number 3."Unhealthy" environment

Adequate self-esteem and aspiration arise only in an environment where success and achievement of results are valued.

If people from the immediate environment do not seek the initiative, it is difficult to expect confidence from an individual.

We are not saying that it is necessary to completely refuse to communicate with such people (especially if they are close relatives). However, it is worth at least thinking about whether you have been captured by such a disregard for self-realization.

Reason number 4. Features of appearance and health

Quite often, low self-perception appears in children and adolescents who have a non-standard appearance or congenital diseases. Yes, relatives treat their “non-standard” child correctly, but he is not immune from the opinions of his peers, who, unfortunately, are ruthless, like all children.

A common example is fat kids who, in preschool and school institutions, become owners of the most unpleasant and offensive nicknames. Low self-esteem will not take long in such situations.

How to increase self-esteem: effective methods

If a person has realized his problems and decided to raise his self-esteem, he has already taken the first step towards confidence. We offer some of the most effective and efficient recommendations.

Change of environment. Negative people are not the best society for a self-doubting person.
Psychologists advise you to reconsider your own social circle, including successful, self-confident, positively related individuals. Gradually, confidence and self-respect will return to a person.
Refusal of self-flagellation. It is extremely difficult to increase self-esteem by regularly blaming yourself, speaking negatively about your own abilities. Experts recommend avoiding negative assessments regarding their appearance, personal life, career, financial situation.
Priority is given to positive feedback.
Avoiding comparisons. You are the only such person in the world: unique, unique, combining advantages and disadvantages. In addition, it is quite easy to find people who have achieved much greater success in any field of activity. A possible option is to compare yourself (with new achievements) with the former, unwilling to change.
Listening to affirmations. This difficult word in psychological literature means short verbal formulas that create a positive attitude in the human subconscious.
Affirmation should be formulated in the present tense so that the person perceives it as a given. For example: "I am a beautiful and smart woman", "I own my own life." It is better to repeat such phrases in the morning and before going to bed, and you can also record them on a voice recorder.
Doing unusual things. The desire of a man or woman to escape into a zone of personal comfort and "hide in a shell" is quite natural.
It is easier for us in a difficult situation to console ourselves, our beloved (beloved) with goodies, alcohol, tears. We do not call for extreme sports, just try to face the problem face to face.
Training attendance. In large cities, trainings, courses and seminars are regularly held to help increase confidence and raise self-esteem. Of course, it is necessary to find a real expert in psychology, and not "konoval", which, unfortunately, is also lacking. Another option is to read psychological literature and watch fiction and documentary videos on the topic.
Sports. One of the most accessible opportunities for raising self-esteem is playing sports. Regular physical exercises make a person less critical of his own appearance and with more respect for himself. During exercise, people release dopamines, the so-called joy hormones.
Diary of achievements. Both the girl and the young man are helped by diaries of their own successes, in which they should make notes about each of their small victories, achievements, even small ones. For example, every day 3-5 “little things” are written in such a notebook: they transferred the granny across the road, learned 10 new foreign words, earned 500 rubles more this month than last.

Increased self-esteem is closely related to self-guilt and self-rejection. How to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a man and a woman? Very simple and, at the same time, difficult - be kinder and more tolerant of your own personality. The following methods will help you with this.

Adequate self-esteem and self-confidence is not a fantasy, but a quite probable development of events. The most important thing for a person is to understand the importance of change and have the desire to go in the right direction: a change in personal life, career, appearance. Remember that self-love in some situations must be earned by going through dissatisfaction and self-abasement.

Hello, I'm Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully studied at SUSU as a special psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and advising parents on the upbringing of children. I apply the experience gained, among other things, in the creation of psychological articles. Of course, by no means do I pretend to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers deal with any difficulties.

52 comments on the article " 8 Ways to Boost Self-Esteem and Love Yourself»

My grandmother constantly told me in childhood that I have ugly ears, a nose, eyes, and in general I’m all so-so, and I don’t need to be too much of an upstart, I need to be like everyone else ... I still can’t completely eradicate it. But the self-esteem of travel has increased, when in different countries you catch thousands of admiring glances of men, young men, boys. When they want to get acquainted, or take a picture with me. THIS is what really cured me.

As a person with low self-esteem, it helps a lot to keep a diary of my achievements. When I start to doubt myself, I reread the useful things that I have done and my mood instantly improves!

A person is like a tree, if it has grown a little crooked, it can’t be leveled) No matter how much you “hit your head against the wall”, but, as we were programmed from childhood by our parents, a kindergarten-school and a close circle of friends ... this is how we will eke out an existence all our lives . The most offensive and paradoxical thing is that, it turns out, our parents, without knowing it themselves ... made us so unhappy. Because their parents made them unhappy, and so on. and it is unlikely that a psychologist / psychiatrist will greatly change the situation, and the person himself understands himself even less ... therefore, re-read at least a thousand articles, and you will remain the same notorious creature, like this.

You're not right. Reminds me of a little green goblin! Stop blaming your parents for your shortcomings. If you are not a teenager and over 19 years old, you should be in charge of your own life and not look back! How can a person be compared to a tree? And even if they compared, then think about if the trunk is curved but growing, can it be directed in the other direction? Thus, to give not a standard even shape, but much more beautiful and interesting? (YES IT IS POSSIBLE AND EVEN NECESSARY) The brain develops up to 25 - 27 years. You can independently bring up in yourself the one you want to see every morning in the mirror!
Absolutely agree with you.
Man is not a tree. I do not agree. A person can change.

The level of self-esteem affects all the actions of a person. Most often, a person's self-esteem is underestimated, that is, a person's real capabilities are higher than a person's ideas about their capabilities. This is usually due to the fact that the formation of self-esteem occurs mainly in childhood, when a person's capabilities are poorly developed. In addition, a negative environment has a serious impact. Of course, there are cases when a person has high self-esteem, but, in my opinion, this is typical only for very young people. For adults, however, the situation is reversed.

It is quite possible to increase self-esteem, although this is often a rather slow process. However, conscious attempts at building self-esteem can be beneficial to just about anyone.

How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence? Here are 12 tips to help you do just that:

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. There will always be people who have more than you and there are people who have less than you. If you make comparisons, you will always have too many opponents or opponents in front of you that you cannot surpass.

2. Stop scolding and blaming yourself. You will not be able to develop a high level of self-esteem if you repeat negative statements about yourself and your abilities. Whether you're talking about your appearance, your career, relationships, financial status, or any other aspect of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments. Self-esteem correction is directly related to your statements about yourself.

3. Accept all compliments and congratulations with a “thank you” in return. When you respond to a compliment with something like “yes, nothing special,” you are rejecting the compliment and simultaneously sending yourself the message that you are not worthy of praise, building low self-esteem. Therefore, accept praise without belittling your dignity.

4. Use affirmations (statements) in order to increase self-esteem. Place a statement on something that is used frequently, such as a plastic card or wallet, such as “I love and accept myself” or “I am an attractive woman and deserve the best in life.” May this affirmation be with you always. Repeat the affirmation several times throughout the day, especially before going to bed and after you wake up. Whenever you repeat an affirmation, feel positive emotions about the affirmation. Thus, the impact effect will be greatly enhanced.

5. Use self-esteem workshops, books, audio and video recordings. Any information you allow into your mind takes root there and influences your behavior. Dominant information influences your actions in a dominant way. If you watch negative television programs or read crime stories in the newspapers, you are likely to be in a cynical and pessimistic mood. In the same way, if you read books or listen to programs that are positive in nature and capable of boosting self-esteem, you will acquire qualities from them.

6. Try to communicate with positive and confident people who are ready to support you. When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly suppress you and your ideas, your self-esteem goes down. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better and your self-esteem grows.

7. Make a list of your past accomplishments. It doesn't have to be something monumental. The list might include small wins, like learning to snowboard, getting a driver's license, going to the gym regularly, etc. Review this list regularly. As you read your achievements, try to close your eyes and feel the satisfaction and joy you once experienced again.

8. Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you honest? Selfless? Helpful to others? Creative? Be kind to yourself and write down at least 20 of your positive qualities. As with the previous list, it is important to review this list often. Many people focus on their shortcomings, reinforcing their low self-esteem there, and then wonder why everything in their life is not as good as they would like. Start focusing on your strengths and you will be much more likely to achieve what you want.

9. Start giving more to others. I'm not talking about money. This refers to giving of yourself in the form of deeds by which you can help others or positively encourage others. When you do something for others, you begin to feel like a more valuable individual, and your self-esteem and mood increase.

10. Try to do what you enjoy. It's hard to feel positive about yourself if your days are spent at a job you despise. Self-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work or any other vigorous activity that brings you pleasure and makes you feel more valued. Even if your work does not completely suit you, you can devote your free time to some of your hobbies that bring you joy.

11. Be true to yourself. Live your own life. You will never respect yourself if you don't spend your life the way you want to spend it. If you make decisions based on the approval of your friends and family, you are not true to yourself and will have low self-esteem.

12. Take action! You will not be able to develop a high level of self-esteem if you sit still and do not accept the challenges that arise in front of you. When you act, regardless of the result, your sense of self-esteem grows, you feel more pleasant feelings about yourself. When you procrastinate due to fear or some other anxiety, you will only feel upset and sad feelings, which, of course, will lead to a decrease in self-esteem.

You are a unique person, with great opportunities, with great potential. As your self-esteem grows, your true abilities will unfold. You will begin to take more risks and not be afraid of rejection; you will not be guided by the approval of other people; your relationships will be much more beneficial both for you and for others; you will do what brings you joy and satisfaction. Most importantly, high self-esteem will bring you peace of mind and you will truly appreciate yourself.

A low level of self-esteem fetters and does not allow to be active. When a person is constantly waiting for ridicule and insults, the problems of overcoming the fear of public speaking and just communication take on the dimensions of phobias.

Low self-esteem is the cause of social phobias (fear of people, fear of public speaking, fear of success). People with low self-esteem are passive and timid.

They are vulnerable and touchy, from everywhere they expect ridicule and insults. Such an attitude leads to loneliness and gives rise to a lot of unjustified complexes, forming the image of a loser. If a person has problems with self-esteem, he will not see harmonious relationships either in the family, or with his beloved, and even more so in business! The only way out is to increase self-esteem.

1. Say good things to yourself.

Eternal dissatisfaction with oneself does not contribute to the growth of self-esteem. Therefore, the first thing to do is to love yourself and praise yourself more often for successes, even if they are not too significant. Waking up, tell yourself that life is getting better every day, remember how beautiful, smart and capable you are. Stop comparing yourself with others: psychologists say that it is more correct to compare yourself today with yourself yesterday.

“Avoid those who try to undermine your faith in yourself. A great person, on the contrary, inspires a feeling that you can become great.

2. Appreciate yourself

In order to fulfill this advice, psychologists recommend an excellent exercise. You should take a sheet of paper and divide it into two parts. In one part, note all your positive qualities, in the other - negative plus what you would like to change in yourself. The second part of the list should be taken into account, and the first part should be read aloud regularly. They say that low self-esteem is coming to naught!

"Hooray! Someone somewhere said I'm better than someone else!" - Marge Simpson

3. Get some exercise

Treat your body with gratitude and love, but at the same time, do not forget to improve yourself. Any physical exercise greatly raises a person in his own eyes. Go jogging, sign up for swimming or a gym, do morning exercises or, at worst, get into the habit of walking a couple of stops. As you know, a healthy mind in a healthy body.

“If the TV and refrigerator weren’t in separate rooms, then some of us would die from lack of exercise.” - Stephen Patrick Morrissey.

4. Don't make excuses

Try not to apologize for the same misconduct twice, and even more so multiple times. Do not mumble long-winded speeches in your defense on the case and without the case, convincing yourself that "well-bred people do this." It is enough to apologize once, and even then only if you consider yourself guilty. If not, then calmly, confidently explain your act.

“I attribute my success to this: I never made excuses in my life and never listened to excuses.” - Florence Nightingale

5. Avoid intrusions

Stop communicating with people who unceremoniously invade your life, impose their own opinion on you, their vision of solving problems, and even more so inspire you with guilt. Protect your personal space and build your own life according to your scenario. After all, this is your life, no one but you can live it.

“We cannot interfere. For people to believe in us, we have to believe in people.” – Zeus, from War of the Gods: Immortals

6. Choose the “right” friends

The influence of the environment on a person is great. Do you remember the saying “with whom you behave, from that you will gain”? If you are not too confident in yourself, it is unlikely that you will benefit from communicating with a person who is dissatisfied with everything and everyone, constantly grumbles about the imperfections of the world, and even looks for flaws in others. Communicating and making friends is better with positively minded and self-confident people - it's good for your health! Such people are not inclined to condemn others, they literally “infect” everyone with cheerfulness, love for others and an optimistic mood!

7. Do what you love

Practice shows that most often the level of self-esteem directly depends on whether you love what you do or not. So, maybe instead of getting bogged down in a job that makes you miserable and doing it carelessly, you should choose a profession that you like? Undoubtedly, in this case, you will have a better chance of achieving a good result, and this, in turn, will have the most beneficial effect on your state of mind.

And further. Having decided to do some important thing, do not put it off indefinitely. If you want to start or change something in your life, start right now, “new life from Monday” is inaction. The longer you are going to start, the more insurmountable the possible difficulties will seem.

8. Benefit people

Nothing convinces a person of his need more than helping others. Take part in a charity event, make a bird feeder, help bring the bag to the old woman. Practice shows that helping those who need this help, giving a part of ourselves to others, we seem to rise in our own eyes. At the same time, do not shout at all corners about your need and try not to overly demonstrate your importance. True self-confidence does not need loud outward manifestations. The level of self-esteem is an indicator of how you yourself evaluate your own efforts made to achieve the goal, and those around you have nothing to do with it.

9. Live with pleasure

They say that 98% of the population live by the rules, and 2% create them. Agree: to live among the latter, creating the rules yourself, is much more convenient! Let yourself live with pleasure: go to the hairdresser, update your wardrobe, treat yourself to your favorite dish, and finally, just do a general cleaning in the house - all these little things mean a lot to increase self-esteem. Keep a success diary and regularly write down all your achievements there - this will help you look at life from a different perspective.

Also, give yourself permission to be imperfect. Firstly, all failures, problems and blows of fate are an invaluable experience. Secondly, there are no ideal people, and you, like most people, do something worse than others, but something is better! Forgive yourself for mistakes and failures, learn from the lessons and start all over again. A winner differs from a chronic loser in their attitude towards failure.

10. Create your future

How would you like to live in five, ten, twenty years? Imagine a picture of your own happy future, think about how you can achieve this, make an action plan and follow it steadily. In short, define a life purpose and persevere in it: people in the know say that the best way to predict the future is to create it!

“The future is something that is created by one's own hands. If you give up, you give in to fate. Believe in yourself and you can build the future you want." Sailor Mercury

11. When conceit goes to the detriment

High self-esteem is not at all the same as healthy self-esteem, psychologists are convinced. Professor of Psychology at Georgia State University Michael Kernis found an interesting pattern in his study: the behavior of people with unstable and superficial high self-esteem is practically no different from the behavior of people with low self-esteem.

“Earlier it was believed that the higher a person evaluates himself, the better. However, in recent years, this theory is bursting at the seams, especially when it comes to aggressive behavior, says Professor Kernis. “People with high self-esteem sometimes become simply unbearable if someone threatens their ego.”

The researcher argues that they compensate for their suspiciousness with an obsessive tendency to defend and zealously defend “their honor” for any reason, which, in general, no one has encroached on. As a rule, they exaggerate the degree of a potential threat, so they have to put in a lot of effort to maintain their self-esteem.

“There is nothing seditious in the fact that people want to think well of themselves,” the scientist sums up. – But when it becomes obsessive, a person becomes too sensitive to the criticism of others and is forced to constantly prove his worth. Such behavior deprives of all psychological advantages.

12. The main thing is to believe in yourself and just live

“The level of self-esteem affects all areas of a person’s life,” says psychologist Marina Derkach. A person who underestimates his abilities is unlikely to be successful in business and, most likely, will not be able to build equal partnerships in marriage.

Low self-esteem plays cruel jokes with people: it makes some people sit quietly in the corner all their lives, while others excessively and deliberately demonstrate their importance. At the same time, it has been proven and tested: healthy self-esteem not only helps in business and personal life, but also has a rejuvenating effect on the body!

As you know, we all “come from childhood”: if parents tirelessly repeat to a child that he can’t do anything and he never succeeds, it is likely that this person will have big problems in the future. Therefore, advice to parents: no matter what happens, criticize the act, not the child. And advice to those who cannot boast of “correct” parents: remember that, as American psychologists say, it’s never too late to have a happy childhood!”

And, finally, the most important thing: following the above self-esteem tips, do not overdo it, do not “go out of your way”. Just live and believe that you can achieve anything you want.