How to cope with constant anxiety, panic, fears. Why there is dependence on the will of others

Hello! Help in solving the problem: for 7 years I have been suffering from fears, panic, constant depression, anxiety, nothing gives me pleasure.
I divorced my husband 13 years ago. The stress was terrible! After that, she began to notice - failures in the work of the heart, fears appeared. She began to be afraid to leave the house alone, ride buses, visit shops. Has addressed to the neuropathologist. No diseases were found, only VVD.
I went to a psychotherapist, they prescribed coaxil, but the most important thing is that I'm afraid to take medication! And I'm also afraid to eat! Lost weight, height 155 cm, weight 38 kg.
I work, it's very hard for me. My son is an adult, he helps. I do not live, but exist. I understand that it is necessary to be treated, but I am afraid of doctors. In general, I am afraid of everything (although I don’t specifically know exactly who and what and why). I constantly listen to my body (work of the heart, stomach, respiration) and I am afraid that it will be bad. If you are dealing with such problems, please help! If not, then recommend a specialist who will deal with me individually. Thank you.

Good afternoon, Svetlana! Of course, you urgently need the help of a psychotherapist! It is a psychotherapist, not a psychiatrist. You write that you went to a psychotherapist, and you were prescribed medication. It was not a psychotherapist, but a psychiatrist! Psychotherapists do not treat with medications, but verbally. There are many branches of psychotherapy. Each client and each problem has its own method. I am a psychologist and psychotherapist by profession, and I deal with such problems. But it is possible to determine the ways of help only at an internal consultation. After all, you need to find the causes of your condition, and work with them, and not with the consequences. Methods of psychotherapy also depend on the causes. All this is discussed during the first meeting at the face-to-face consultation. You can contact me using my contact details. All the best!

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Good day to you, my dear readers! Today it is fashionable to talk about “should we listen to the body”. They say that this can even improve health, because the body supposedly knows better than we do what it needs.

In general, I am not against fashion, if fashion suits you. Does it suit you (i.e., will it benefit you) that you will listen to your body?

Let's try to find out.

Several stories from life

History 1st, student

Lena is a student girl, slightly plump, but this does not bother her yet: her studies do not allow her to be distracted by such trifles.

Lena eats at a nearby fast food place, and her lunch is not very diverse: 2 hamburgers and a large glass of cola. The usual, by the way, lunch for many students. But here's the problem - on weekends and holidays, Lena, who can easily eat her mother's delicious soup, is drawn to hamburgers like a magnet. Habit, you know, is a great thing.

Story 2, married

Irina married out of great love, and, guided by this very love, she began to cook healthy vegetable salads, soups and steamed fish for her husband.

In response, from her beloved spouse, she first heard: “Is it possible to be fatter?” or "Weed again." Then the discontent turned into demands: “I want normal pork cutlets and fried potatoes!”

It was impossible to convince her husband - he was used to eating in this way from childhood. Now Irina cooks salads only for herself, and fries cutlets for her husband, sighing.

Story 3, office

Olga's work is characterized by constant stress - either the client is rude, or the authorities will give an undeserved reprimand, or she herself does not have time to fulfill all the duties and is delayed at the workplace. In a word, work is far from sugar.

True, at the same time, there is plenty of sugar in Olga’s life: the morning begins with a chocolate bar, then one of the colleagues offers a home-made pie, lunch also traditionally ends with dessert, an afternoon snack beckons with delicious cookies, and dinner rarely goes without sweets. Solid trouble - how can it be without sweets!

Attention, the question is an edge! The hero (heroine) of what story should listen to her body and follow its lead?

So listen to your body?

And the conclusion is simple: the body needs what it is accustomed to.

It doesn't matter if it's a cigarette, a glass of wine, a fatty cutlet, sweet soda, a cake, etc. The main thing is to be familiar, to make up his comfort zone.

The body is so accustomed, it has already adapted and knows that it can live like this. This is his comfort zone!

You can listen to him as much as you like - he will not give you anything new. There will be only what you are used to.

If you are not used to doing exercises, then your body will never ask for it in any form until you accustom it to daily morning exercises. If you do not eat raw vegetables, then your body will not experience cravings for carrots or cabbage, even if they are at least 1000 times more useful than the usual fried cutlet. If you are not used to eating greens, then you will rather choke on it than wait for your body to ask you to chew on a sprig of parsley.

Listen to your body - when it's convenient

I am especially surprised how people masterfully pass off their own momentary whims as the desires of the body. For example, in a supermarket they smell grilled chicken and buy it - the body demanded it. They hear mention of pancakes in conversation, and immediately an obsessive thought of pancakes with butter arises in their brain, which persistently seeks satisfaction - and again.

Guys, let's turn on the brains! We are adults, and in addition to such a “capricious” organism, we have also been given the ability to think independently.

The smell, the sight, the conversation caused a desire for a certain food - this is by no means a requirement of the body, it is an association, a memory, in a word, an emotion that you can control.

You have to decide if you have it or not. And there is no need to blame everything on the long-suffering organism, it has absolutely nothing to do with it. With such desires, an adult can cope on his own.

If you are not yet an adult, work on yourself, grow up. But to behave like a small child and not take responsibility for it, putting everything on the body - really, this is not an option at all.

About the body and thirst

Oh, this thirst! I was so fed up with the endless debates on this topic that I decided to clearly state my opinion, and in case of disagreements, send me to this article.

Here are the facts that are very difficult to argue with:

1. We lose in a day with urine about a liter, with breathing evaporates about 0.5 liters. But there is also sweat! And this liquid requires compensation - at the most conservative estimates, no less than one and a half liters.
2. The feeling of thirst in a person weakens with age. And if you drink, trusting the natural urge of thirst, then the fluid in the body will not be enough.
3. Thirst actually occurs when the body is already severely dehydrated.. It is for this reason that a person who is thirsty will never be satisfied with a sip of water - he will greedily drink no less than a glass.

And finally: what is the name of a reservoir in nature in which water is not renewed? That's right, BLOTO.

The garbage that got into the swamp can only rot there. And there is plenty of garbage in the body of a modern person - from food, household chemicals, and simply from the air. If you want to turn your own body into a swamp, this is your right. And if you don’t want to, then drink more water so that the body can get rid of garbage (toxic and poisonous substances).

But what to do?

In fact, there is a way out. After all, if habits rule us so much, then we just need to change them for the necessary and useful ones.

The difficulty is that it is work. Work on yourself, on your desires and old habits.

However, there is great news: once you have developed a new habit, you get a constant faithful assistant. You are no longer working on it, but it is on you.

You can read more about the power of habits and how it will help you become slimmer and feel better at. And I wish you to listen to your own body only if you have taught it to "whisper" you the right things. Be healthy, beautiful and happy!

Mini Tips for Weight Loss

Reduce portions by a third - that's what will help to build! Short and to the point :)

Put supplements or stop? When this question arises, it is definitely time to stop eating. This body gives you a signal about imminent saturation, otherwise you would have no doubt.

If you tend to overeat in the evenings, take a warm shower before dinner. 5-7 minutes, and you already have a completely different mood and attitude to food. Try it - it works.

A year and a half ago, I led a terrible lifestyle: I smoked, I drank often. Once a friend persuaded me to smoke weed with him, before that we drank cognac. I came home with a wild burning sensation in my chest and a pounding heart. Mom saw that I was not feeling well and made me take my blood pressure, it turned out to be 150/100 with a pulse of 13. I was terribly ill, my legs were shaking, it was cold and my heart was on fire. I never thought about death, but at that moment I said goodbye to the white light. I ended up drinking more green tea and eventually fell asleep. Since that day, I do not smoke, do not drink alcohol and even coffee. But also since that day I have been tormented by the problem - every day it seems to me that I will die soon. Life has become unbearable, I'm afraid of everything, I can't live normally, I listen to my heart all the time and measure my blood pressure a hundred times a day. Sometimes I really want to die to stop this madness, I don't know what to do. I loosened the nervous system and get nervous for any reason. How to deal with it?
Support the site:

Sonya, age: 20 / 23.11.2013

Responses:

Sonya, your condition is similar to panic attacks. I went through it myself. Contact a neurologist, tell us about your problem. He will prescribe medications that will help restore your nervous system. Health to you and good luck!

Ira, age: 11/32/2013

I think that if you cannot cope with an obsessive state, you need to contact a psychotherapist so that he can prescribe an antidepressant. Trust me, this helps a lot. Or just take a sedative. Valerian, if taken in a course, helps better than expensive sedatives. And the fact that they stopped drinking and smoking, well done!

Inessa, age: 26 / 23.11.2013

Sonya, it seems to me that such events must be turned to your advantage. Thank God and fate. You have completely changed the way of life, and oh, how difficult it is to do!!!
There would be no happiness, but misfortune helped.
It is the same with the fear of death. It can play a very positive role in your life. When you remember that someday you will die, you can no longer live "what if" You start asking yourself: “Have I done all the good that was in my power?! Can I do something good right now?! Am I wasting time in meaningless parties? Or maybe someone needs to my kind word or encouraging smile?"
It is immediately remembered that close people are also not eternal. They need your care and kind words NOW, not someday (equals never). You begin to follow your actions, your words, thoughts. In general, "hurry to do good."
Try to direct your thoughts in this direction. Then the "memory of death" will only be a plus for you.
God bless you!

Elena Ordinary, age: 37 / 11/23/2013

Ulyana, age: 20 / 24.11.2013

You have a fear of death ... You accept death as an inevitability, we all will die one way or another someday .. And it is impossible to control everything .. I understand you perfectly, I myself was tormented by all this ... One more thing! Don't wind yourself up! Get distracted by something pleasant .. or work .. (study)

Ilya, age: 24 / 24.11.2013

Sonya, you know, it's good that it seems to you that death is close. Don't misunderstand me, the smell of death is always sobering, it helps to lead life in the right direction. Do not be afraid of death, it will come anyway and you will not feel it, especially when there are heart problems, people often die quietly .. They just fall asleep. And it will be ONLY when your hour comes, not a single mortal is safe from this. And then why worry? You have taken the first steps towards a pious life - you have left bad habits in the past. And then, with God's help, everything will settle down by itself. I’m talking about how a person who underwent three operations on his head (brain tumor), had meningitis and a lot of things, they also found something with his heart .. Live. God decided to reason with you with that case of pressure, not in order to constantly worry about it, but so that you mentally thank Him that you live, you have an incredibly healthy chance to change your life for the better! And in general, you will have everything is great no matter what!!

Svetlana, age: 28 / 24.11.2013

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At the most crucial moments, people appeal to their inner voice, but in rare cases they receive a clear answer.
Often in very important situations, there is not enough correct information, hints. At such moments, intuition becomes the most devoted, powerful assistant. As one of the languages ​​of the subconscious, intuition is the invisible guiding hand of a higher power, a guide in the dark, generous. Thanks to intuition, a person seems to be walking along an illuminated road, and all other paths are lost in the dark.

Definition of intuition

What is intuition and how to develop it correctly? In another way, it is also called premonition, but for the most part it is a person’s ability to recognize information using not the voice of reason, but sensations and feelings. But not everything is so simple, because not every person knows how to properly tune in to the wave of his soul. There is no other way to get there. Science still does not recognize intuition as a tool for accessing the subtle world, and does not rely on the veracity of the information received. The voice of intuition is something extremely subtle, individual, elusive, opening its doors only to the elect. It cannot be controlled, much less forced to give exactly the information that is needed. The study of this subject requires great patience, as well as painstaking work on your soul and body. At the same time, it has a mystical character, because the facts are known when exactly what intuition suggested came true exactly to the details. People who meet throughout life can help and push in the right direction, but you will have to find the key to the soul yourself.
Each personality has its own path, a certain scenario of life, from which weak people sometimes turn away. But intuition will always give signals to get a person back on his path. The inner voice is able to suggest solutions to problems, answer any question, thanks to which the shortest path to the goal will be presented.
The main thing to realize is that if there is no goal, there is no happy opportunity. To know your path, you need to clearly understand where to go, as well as why. If a person does not know where he wants to go, then it does not matter which way he goes. The problem is that at the end of the path it will be unbearably painful to understand that the goal and dream have been missed, and the path has been traveled along someone else's path. But, unfortunately, it will be too late.

How to learn to listen to yourself?

It is noteworthy that young children have an innate connection with their inner voice, but under the influence of society, this thin thread is quickly interrupted. Intuition ceases to work because it is not used, it has been forgotten. It is as if a person has not moved for a long time and the muscles of his legs and arms atrophy, the same thing happens with the work of intuition. It is very difficult to restore this connection again, for some it takes many years.
It would seem that it could be easier to just listen to yourself, but in fact it is hard personal work and work on yourself for a long time. Only if, under certain critical circumstances, a certain impulse occurs, a request to “turn on” the power of intuition, miracles begin.
What factors help to listen to the inner voice:

1. Physical exercise. Yogis, knowingly exhaust themselves with practices, stretching and gymnastics. These exercises help you take control of your body.
2. It is necessary to fast on certain lunar days in order to learn how to pacify the feeling of hunger, cleansing the body.
3. Austerities in the form of refusal from harmful food, smoking, alcohol, sex are necessary in order to control passions, preventing them from capturing the mind, mastering oneself.
4. A healthy body in symbiosis with pacified instincts makes it possible to learn to listen to your inner voice.
5. Cleansing the body of harmful toxins and slags. You need to drink plenty of water, adhere to the right diet, periodically arrange fasting.
6. Getting rid of acute and chronic ailments, the fight against excess weight. It is much easier to listen to intuition when a person feels healthy in his body, and unpleasant sensations do not interfere.

When a person is distracted all his free time by drinking, delicious food, or chronic illness, it will be very difficult to focus on personal perception. There is simply no time or energy left to work on oneself. No wonder the well-known proverb says: a healthy mind in a healthy body.

Practical Exercises for Developing Sixth Sense

Before waiting for clues from the subconscious, you need to know approximately in what form they will come. Don't expect clues from Heaven or other grandiose signals. On the contrary, you should be attentive to any small details and sensations that occur in everyday life. Many do not even realize that a message from above can come from TV, a telephone conversation, loud phrases from the crowd. The main thing is not to rely on the mind, because it interprets the present only through the program of the past and associations.
It is very effective in a controversial situation to pay attention to the sensations in the body. You need to fully trust your feelings in order to distinguish between negative and positive sensations. When you have to quickly make an important decision, the body gives the right clues.

• Exercise number 1 "Answer from the heart"
  There is a fairly simple exercise for developing intuition. It gently teaches to listen to the inner voice. It is necessary to ask the question that interests you in your mind, and then listen to the sensations in the heart and solar plexus. The same applies in situations where a quick, decisive response is required. If unpleasant, pressing spasms occur in the region of the heart, one should be as careful as possible. Warmth, peace, harmony in the heart means that a person is moving in the right direction. There are many different body signals, even a whole science, kinesiology, was created to decipher them.
• Exercise number 2 "What's in the letter?"
  You can develop and learn intuition with the help of ordinary emails. To do this, without looking at a new message, try to feel what message it contains, what information. It is best to turn to your feelings, which are especially pronounced if you temporarily drown out the flow of thoughts. For example, focusing on a letter, there may be a feeling of anxiety, fear, fear.
• Exercise number 3 "Silence and emptiness"
  There is an excellent tool for harmonizing the mental as well as the physical state - meditation. It is advisable to practice meditation before going to bed, when no one and nothing prevents you from relaxing your body, calming your thoughts along the way. Meditation teaches you to drown out the endless stream of repetitive thoughts, verbal garbage. Thanks to this, the voice of the soul wakes up - intuition. In addition, this practice helps to increase energy, while helping to change stereotyped thinking. Such an exercise should become a habit, if you do it regularly, you will develop your sixth sense faster.

Learning not only to listen, but also to understand intuition is not easy, but if you back up your goal with the right actions and do not turn off this path, the result will be excellent. Events, people around will only favor. The path to the development of intuition is difficult, and in order for it to become a reliable assistant in difficult situations, you must always remain conscious.