If you carefully monitor the speech and gestures of the interlocutor, you can understand how frank he is with you. From the first lines, I would like to draw your attention to this point: if a person does not deceive you, this does not guarantee the accuracy of the information that you receive from him. You can only know one thing for sure - if he misleads you, he does not do it intentionally. He just believes in what he says. In this article, you will learn about the main signs that will help you understand that a person is lying.

Why is it difficult to recognize a lie?

Not all generally accepted signs of a lie indicate that a person is lying. There are truthful, but very insecure people who are afraid to tell the truth, but, nevertheless, tell it. Due to psychological stress, such a person hesitates in conversation, stumbles, delays in answering, and sometimes gives the impression of a liar, but in reality he is not.

There are also people who are so accustomed to behaving dishonestly that outwardly they behave quite naturally. Deception is a way of life in which they are quite comfortable and warm. They don't feel any discomfort at all.

Lies can be recognized in three cases:

• The interlocutor feels guilty at the moment when he is lying;
• He experiences a feeling of fear that the deceit will be revealed;
• He has no conscience, no fear, but he was not ready to talk.

Pay attention to the last point - it is key! If it is important for you to get information from someone, and there is a suspicion that the interlocutor will deceive you, do not let him prepare in advance for the conversation. Act spontaneously - this is the best way to get the truth or recognize a lie.

The main signs of a lie

You are unlikely to be able to understand for sure that a person is lying to you. The fact is that all the signs of a lie, rather, indicate that the interlocutor is not in the mood for a frank conversation. He lies, or hides part of the truth, but does not deceive, it will be possible to find out by analyzing the conversation in detail. A sociable liar gives himself away by inconsistencies in a conversation, but he needs a little push to such actions, actively maintaining the dialogue. It is very difficult with a closed interlocutor, but you can pay attention to his gestures, gaze, and other non-verbal signs.

Non-verbal signs:

• Crossed legs, arms, or closed fingers;
• Uncomfortable posture of the interlocutor - he can not relax and get comfortable. He constantly changes his position, tramples from foot to foot, does not know where to put his hands;
• Minimum gestures. A person is lying, which means that he weighs every word he says. He is not distracted by facial expressions and gestures, so as not to stray and give himself away;
• He does not look the interlocutor in the eye, or does not hold his gaze on him. It is lost if the interlocutor looks at him attentively;
• Behaves either fussy or slow (depending on the type of temperament), but not as usual;
• The liar is playing for time. Before answering a question, he looks at the ceiling, lights a cigarette, and begins to “look for” something in his bag. This sign may also indicate that it is psychologically difficult for your interlocutor to support the chosen topic, in other words, you touched him to the core.

Verbal signs:

Fraud Tactics

All of the above is most relevant for everyday situations, when a man lies to a woman, a child to his mother, a wife to her husband, etc. The point of lying was to hide the truth, but not in search of profit. Fraudsters are professional liars, but even they give themselves away at least in some way. The main points are as follows:

• Unusual courtesy. You can openly show this person dislike - he will not be offended. He does not care about your emotions at all - he achieves his goal;
• "His own on the board." If politeness is not something that can get you hooked, the scammer will try to please you in a different way. This is also how the gypsies act at the station and .... maniacs. A sobbing girl can be supported by a conversation about “what bastards men are,” and, for example, you can tell her “your” story for persuasiveness. With a student, you can scold the education system, with a poor pensioner - the current government. Thus, the swindler rubs himself into the trust of the interlocutor and lulls his vigilance;
• Agrees all the time. You can say anything - next to the swindler, the one who cannot connect two words will feel like a great orator. Do you have a suspicion that they want to deceive you? Catch the interlocutor on a discrepancy. Rest assured, he doesn’t even really listen to you - he doesn’t care at all what you are talking about;
• Forces you to repeat something all the time. The most alarming sign, because this is already a hypnotist's tactic. "You agree with me, yes?" several times in a row says that they are trying to manipulate you. Do not waste time trying to understand if a person is lying to you, or if this is his communication style! Stop the dialogue under any pretext - in front of you is a scammer, and an experienced one.

Video: How to understand that a person is lying

Very helpful video! In it, the psychologist tells all about the methods of deception and signs of lies in the behavior of the interlocutor.

Video source: diminskiy

Is it possible to determine by the appearance of the interlocutor that he is deceiving you? Similar questions were raised by watching the sensational TV series Lie to Me. The protagonist of the series - Dr. Cal Lightman - miraculously accurately calculates deception by signs invisible to the naked eye - barely perceptible facial muscle movements, voice changes, hand movements, etc. For the "uninitiated" it seems that this is magic or tricks, but the essence of the work of a practical psychologist often comes down to this - to read between the lines, to hear not the words, but what is behind them, to see what no one pays attention to. The prototype of Lightman and the main consultant of the series is Paul Ekman, professor of psychology at the University of California, Paul Ekman, the world's largest researcher on the theory of deception (his book "The Psychology of Lies" is translated into Russian). How can modern psychological research on lies be used in everyday communication, what should one pay attention to in order to distinguish truth from deceit?

Of course, words often betray lies. A deceiver can get confused in his lies, or vice versa, tell everything too smoothly, deceit is often given out by random "slips of the tongue", "mistakes of speech", which, as is known from Freud's theory, give out the true (sometimes unconscious) desires and feelings of a person. But trying to catch a person in words, starting a “word game” is often very tiring and unproductive. Therefore, psychologists pay more attention to the non-verbal (non-verbal) behavior of the interlocutor. This includes facial expressions, voice, physiological manifestations and body movements.

1.Facial muscles are connected to the areas of the brain responsible for emotions, so the face reflects what we experience. Usually a face carries two messages at once - what the liar wants to say, and what he would like to hide. When a person lies, his most eloquent facial expression, which is the first thing you pay attention to, just turns out to be a fake, and the more subtle signs of hidden emotions remain, as a rule, unnoticed. The most common way to disguise feelings is a smile, behind which a person can hide confusion, anger, sadness, etc. During the experiments, it was found that it is much easier to portray anger, disgust, and much more difficult to realistically simulate fear and grief. Mimic expressions change very quickly, so too long (more than 5-10 seconds, and surprisingly - longer than a second) frozen facial expression speaks of insincerity of feelings. Studies of one of the psychotherapeutic directions (NLP) also revealed the directions of eye movements characteristic of a deceitful person. Most often these will be movements from the right above or from the side and to the left down (first constructs an image or sound and then thinks how to say it). The average person is simply not used to paying attention to micro-expressions, blurry emotions, and the direction of eye movements, but anyone can learn this if they wish.

2. If we somehow know how to control facial expressions, then control physiological reactions accompanying strong emotions are much more difficult. Even in ancient times, to expose lies, they used knowledge about physiological changes caused by excitement and fear, which the liar is trying to hide. So, in the tribes of West Africa, the suspects were given a bird's egg, the shell of which is easily split. All suspects had to pass this egg to each other - and the one who is guilty of the crime would crush it, thereby exposing himself. In ancient China, the suspect had to take a handful of dry rice into his mouth and listen to the accusation, salivation stops for fear of exposure, and if the rice in the mouth remained dry, the suspect's guilt was considered proven. It is on the measurement of physiological changes (pulse, pressure, skin temperature, etc.) that the work of the lie detector is based.

3.body movements, important for determining whether your interlocutor is telling the truth or a lie, are divided into 3 types.

1.Emblems- these are fingers folded into a fig, a shrug of the shoulders, etc. - all those postures and movements for which a certain and quite unambiguous meaning is assigned in a given culture. During the experiment, which was conducted in the laboratory of Paul Ekman, a female student showed him the finger during a provocative conversation with a teacher (“I had you”). Neither she nor the teacher recorded this movement and were shocked to see it recorded. Such movements are similar in nature to speech reservations, and if the emblem breaks through during the conversation, most likely it is she who carries the truth.

2. Unlike emblems illustrations- these are hand movements not loaded with special meaning, accompanying speech, which, as it were, help a person to express himself more clearly and clearly. A sincere and enthusiastic person who tells something will actively use movement-illustrations. During deception, the number of illustrations decreases, or they look unnatural. However, strong sad feelings, and simply lack of interest, boredom can also significantly reduce the number of illustrations.

3. Rubbing behind the ear, scratching, obsessively smoothing the fold of tissue on the knee - all this manipulation. It is generally accepted that the excitement and shame that accompanies deceit increases the number of manipulations. However, it has been found that manipulation can also intensify when a person feels comfortable and relaxed, "among his own."

Knowing all these signs helps only when you can tie together all the factors - what a person says, what emotions he shows, what he tries to hide, what physiological manifestations he shows and how his body moves. It is not enough to determine that a person experiences the fear, guilt, or feelings of elation that are characteristic of deception. Such feelings can be experienced by an honest person who is unjustly suspected or accused. A person can, due to their personal history, react with guilt or fear to innocuous questions, which is why the lie detector is so often mistaken.

An important sign of deception - discrepancy verbal and non-verbal information (for example, saying "yes" waves his head negatively). However, each person is unique, so in order to detect a lie, the most important thing is to know how this particular person behaves when telling the truth. It is not any specific sign of a lie that is important, it is much more important change behavior specific to that person. It is difficult not to notice, at least on a subconscious level, such changes in a person you know well, but for some reason, among close people, deception can remain undiscovered for a long time. And here something else is already playing a role - do we want to know the truth ourselves, can we accept and recognize it?

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Do you want to know if your partner is cheating on you? You have reasons for thinking this way, and a variety of ways to find out the truth.

Disappointing statistics

If you are worried that your partner is lying to you, you may very well be right - lying is much more common than we would like. Sometimes this is not just a lie for the good or omissions, but a serious deception associated with your relationship or betrayal.
Unfortunately, there is no scientific way to determine if your partner is cheating on you. However, you can easily tell when he is cheating. Here are seven ways you can tell if he's hiding something important from you.

Ask your friends

Other people, sometimes even strangers, often have no difficulty in noticing when something is going wrong with someone else's relationship. Psychologists use a test in which a couple must create a drawing together. One participant draws while blindfolded, while the other helps him with instructions. Everything that happens is recorded on camera. Before the experiment begins, participants are asked to answer several relationship questions, including whether they have ever cheated.
After that, the researchers gave a tape recording of the drawing process to strangers who had to guess which couple was cheating. Surprisingly, the volunteers guessed incredibly accurately. This research suggests that sometimes it may be enough just to look at the interaction of partners in order to sense infidelity or conflict. People make surprisingly accurate conclusions about others in a variety of situations, and even the most brief observation is enough for this. At least that's what the scientists came to. If serious doubts begin to torment you that everything is in order in your relationship, the advice of friends or relatives can help you.

Pretend like nothing's happening and watch

People often judge other people's behavior quite badly, especially when they try to do it consciously. If you have the opportunity to observe someone's behavior for a longer time, it will be much easier for you to figure out if you are being deceived. In 2013, a team of scientists conducted an experiment in which students had to observe people testifying in court, and then determine whether these people were telling the truth or a lie.
The students who were given more time to think before the verdict was delivered did a much better job of identifying liars. Human consciousness does not always cope with the separation of truth and falsehood. It takes time to assess the situation. If something worries or worries you, you should just give yourself the opportunity to navigate - perhaps the strange behavior was a temporary phenomenon associated with stress or other life circumstances. If, over time, you gain confidence that you are being deceived, you will have a more solid reason to sort out the relationship.

Be careful with your choice of words

In a recent study, psychology professor James Pennebaker analyzed data collected by a text evaluation program. Certain language has been found to signal that the speaker is trying to hide the truth. For example, liars are less likely to use personal pronouns, do not say “I think” or “understand,” and also use “but” and “except” less frequently. In addition, they often use negative words, such as "anger" or "enemy", as well as verbs that describe movement. Of course, all this is only relevant if the way you communicate has changed in some way - if your partner has always preferred harsh language and did not talk too much about his own feelings, such words may not signal anything.

Listen to the sound of the voice

Canadian researchers recently asked a group of volunteers to listen to several recordings of voices and rate how attractive one or the other sounded. After that, scientists were asked to evaluate how likely it is that a particular person will be unfaithful to his partner.
Female volunteers most often noted that men with a low timbre of voice are more likely to cheat, and male volunteers, on the contrary, felt that women would cheat more often if they were owners of a high timbre. According to the study, men with higher testosterone levels have lower voices - and it is high testosterone levels that are associated with the likelihood of infidelity. However, scientists could not explain where people got the psychological awareness of this. In the future, they will study this fact, but for now you can simply evaluate the voice of your partner and, on the basis of this, understand whether he is generally inclined to betrayal - the timbre will tell you about this.

Pay attention to social networks

If your partner spends more time with their cell phone than with you, it might be suspicious. Research has shown that people who are very active on social media are more likely to experience infidelity, separation, or divorce. According to scientists, most people spend no more than an hour on social networks. Those who use social media for a longer time are more likely to fight with their partners, cheat or get divorced. The longer the time spent on the social network, the worse the effect on the relationship. However, this does not mean that the phone leads to betrayal, however, there is still some connection. If this is a problem in your relationship, it's time to have a serious conversation with your partner. A seemingly harmless habit of surfing the Internet can destroy your life together in the long run, even if no betrayal occurs.

Watch for sudden changes in behavior

If you've been in a relationship for quite some time, chances are you already know how your partner behaves under normal conditions - what he likes to eat, how he reacts to trials and surprises, whether he's a good listener, and so on. Sudden changes in body language, facial expressions, speech patterns and more can be signals of ambivalent behavior, according to scientists who specialize in recognizing deceivers during detective investigations. The human body shows certain signals if he is nervous and feels tense - namely, this is what happens when a person lies. Learn to recognize them and it will be much easier for you to navigate what is being said to you, because you will notice the truth or lie even without words.

Pay attention to silence, repetition or backlash

There is a clear sign of a lie - a sudden refusal to talk. When a person's tongue seems to be taken away, this may be due to the fact that the nervous system automatically responds to stress, and the mouth dries up. Another sign is a negative reaction even to fairly innocent questions. Finally, it is not uncommon for people who lie to repeat a given question before beginning to answer it, most likely to give themselves time to come up with an answer. If you notice any of these signs in your partner, this can be considered sufficient reason for suspicion. You should not draw quick conclusions, but you definitely should not turn a blind eye to what is happening.

Travis Bradberry

People lie. And constantly. There is data Self-Presentation and Verbal Deception: Do Self-Presenters Lie More? that 60% of us manage to lie about three times during a 10-minute conversation (and sometimes we don’t even notice it!). Fortunately, most cheaters are easy to spot.

A person is lying to you if:

1. Covers the mouth and vulnerable parts of the body

The liar often covers his mouth or just touches his lips. Such a gesture indicates a subconscious cessation of communication.

Also, the deceiver instinctively closes vulnerable parts of the body: head, neck, stomach. The reason is that lying makes him prepare to attack.

2. Repetitive and gives too much detail

The liar hates silence, so he tries to fill every second of the conversation with unnecessary details. With the help of these fictitious details, he tries to convince the interlocutor and himself of the veracity of the story.

The deceiver tends to repeat the same phrases.

So he tries to buy time to collect his thoughts.

3. Preparing to retreat

Lies make a person subconsciously look for ways to escape. Therefore, deceivers, if they are standing, approach the door, and if they are sitting, they turn to the exit.

If the interlocutor suddenly ceases to be in a relaxed position and becomes more collected, this can also be a sign of a lie. On his part, this is another way to prepare for the retreat.

4. His words and body language don't match.

An obvious sign of deception is a contradiction between the person's words and the ones he sends.

A vivid example: someone tells a tragic and serious story about his life, while smiling and acting quite lively.

5. His breathing changes

The deceiver reflexively begins to breathe heavily, as the heart rate changes due to the lie. Sometimes it is even difficult for a liar to speak, because his mouth dries up - this is another reaction of the body to a lie.

6. Atypically moving eyes

It cannot be said that any one direction of view speaks of deception. If you know a person well enough, then an unusual eye movement for him may indicate a lie.

However, there is still one universal way to detect a liar by the eyes: if the interlocutor constantly looks at the door, it is possible that he is lying to you.

7. Becomes aggressive

The best defense is an attack. That is why the deceiver is prone to sudden and unreasonable outbursts of rage.

Another aggressive signal that he subconsciously sends is a long, unblinking look.

So the liar tries to look more truthful, but instead he inspires horror and at the same time gives himself away.

8. Nervous

Any manifestation of excessive anxiety can signal a lie. This includes fidgeting in a chair, constant touching of the hair, nervous movements of the arms and legs. The last point is especially indicative: if a person moves his legs a lot, then his body is preparing to escape. That is, subconsciously he feels threatened.

Important clarification

Before accusing someone, take a closer look at his behavior. If a person constantly sends the signals listed above, it is not at all necessary that you have a pathological liar in front of you. Perhaps he is just naturally fussy or suffers from ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).

The situation can be reversed: someone is lying to you, but does not show the described signs. This is how psychopaths can behave because they don't feel guilty or anxious about being deceived. Fortunately, we calculate them too.

According to statistics, each person manages to lie at least 4 times a day, since the truth often contradicts generally accepted standards of decency, ethics and even morality. How to recognize a lie, if not a single modern detector is able to give an absolute guarantee that what a person said is not a deception? Let's determine the external signs of untruth, which will betray the interlocutor.

What is the untruth

Often deception is harmless when a person tells a lie out of politeness or out of a desire to please (“You look great!”, “Very nice to meet you!”). Sometimes people have to withhold the whole truth or remain silent in response to uncomfortable questions out of unwillingness to escalate the situation, and this is also considered insincerity.

However, psychologists say that even seemingly harmless lies can seriously harm relationships, especially when it comes to understatement between family members: husband and wife, parents and children. Achieving mutual trust and maintaining strong family ties in such circumstances is difficult, so it is important to know how to recognize the lies of a man, woman or child.

The observations of specialists in the field of psychology have shown certain results that relate to deception in the family:

1. despite their external openness to the interlocutor, extroverts are more prone to lies than introverts;
2. children quickly learn to lie in authoritarian families, while doing it often and masterfully;
3. parents who behave gently towards the child notice the lie immediately, because he rarely deceives and lies uncertainly;
4. the female gender is prone to deceit when it comes to household items - they hide the price of purchased goods, do not talk about a broken cup or a burnt dish, etc.;
5. men tend to be understated in matters of relationships, they hide their dissatisfaction with a partner, have mistresses and confidently lie about their fidelity.

How to learn to recognize a lie?

To prevent the development of complex family relationships built on deceit, infidelity and understatement, it is important to learn to understand sincerity. Often the ability to bring a deceiver to clean water is a natural talent of a person who intuitively knows how to recognize a lie by facial expressions, gestures or intonation of the interlocutor. In this he is helped by the life experience of communicating with liars, or by natural observation.

This is not to say that anyone can't spot cheating without the right experience or talent. Currently, psychology has established some verbal and non-verbal signs of information distortion, which are typical for most people. Thanks to a well-established methodology based on the understanding of such signals, each person will be able to develop the ability to recognize insincerity. Let's find out what can betray a liar.