How to influence people? Psychological tricks. open body language

No matter how much they talk about the uniqueness of each person, nevertheless, the behavior of all in general can be considered identical.

Our automatic actions are usually similar, and that is why psychology allows us not only to reveal everyone, but even to control the individual.

The simplest and most effective methods of this science of the “man of knowledge” can be safely applied in everyday life:

1. If the answer of the interlocutor did not suit you, for example, he did not say something, expressed himself unclearly, or lied, no need to ask again. Instead, just silently and carefully look into his eyes - this technique simply will not leave him a chance and he will be forced to continue his thought.

2. If someone yells at you. Withmake an effort on yourself and remain completely calm, remaining unperturbed. The first reaction of the screamer is anger, which your behavior will only provoke, but it will subside very quickly and reaction number two will begin - a feeling of guilt for your defiant and aggressive behavior. Most likely, it is the screaming one who will ask for forgiveness.

3. If you know that you will receive criticism from a person (they will make comments or scold), take courage and try to sit or stand next to him - in this case, he will soften and the negative will come from him many times less than if you were at a distance.

4. Eating in a person is associated with calmness and security, because we do it, most often, at home, in our native walls. That's why, if you are very worried, chew gum: this will deceive our brain, giving the impression of what you are eating, which means it will make you feel more confident and calm.

5. The old and proven method used by many students in the exam: imagine that the teacher is your good and close friend, then it will be much easier to answer, and you will feel calmer. This technique works with any interviewer! Use it before an important interview.

6. If everyone in the company starts laughing at once, then everyone, at the level of instinct, looks at the one who is the most attractive to him Who would he like to get closer to? Therefore, catch glances after a successful joke, you will learn a lot of new things.

7. When meeting a person, express a little more joy in his attitude: for example, smile sincerely or try to pronounce his name softly and warmly, then over time you will begin to relate to him much better in all seriousness, and the joy of meeting will be sincere.

8. If your work is connected with people, then you can “make” them behave more politely and gently: put a mirror behind you so that your interlocutors see their reflection - as a rule, in the mirror we always try to look better, smile, but we don’t want to see ourselves as evil and harmful.

9. Want to attract the attention of someone you like? Look closely at the object located directly behind his shoulders, and as soon as you realize that you have caught his eye on you, quickly look the "victim" in the eyes and smile a little - it works flawlessly.

10. We can actually control our stress.: when you are very worried, feel how you began to breathe deeper, how your heart began to beat faster and try to force yourself to breathe more calmly and balance the knock. We really can do it.

11. Do you want to win over a person at the first meeting to get his sympathy? Just determine his eye color at the time of meeting: eye contact is conducive to you.

12. When setting any requirements or conditions, initially raise the bar. Most likely, the person will not agree to this and refuse. But, on the other hand, he will 100% agree to the real conditions that you will offer later: people tend to give you less if they denied you something more before that.

13. People are drawn to individuals who are confident in themselves and their actions, therefore, just show that you understand exactly what you are saying or doing (even if it is not quite so).

Finally, I would like to say that our facial expressions are closely related to emotions: we raise our eyebrows when we are touched, we squint our eyes when we cry.

And vice versa: facial expressions affect the internal state - if right now you make a grimace, similar to the one that appears on your face when crying, most likely, tears will begin to roll on their own.

Use this feature to your advantage: smile! Smile just like that, for no reason, and in just a few seconds this smile will become real and sincere!

If you are imperfect, others will like you more. This paradox proves the psychological Pratfell Effect. When we want to impress someone, we inevitably bring out the best parts of our personality.

It turns out that it’s completely in vain: research shows that demonstrating our vulnerability and weakness, on the contrary, increases the level of empathy for us from other people. The more non-critical flaws you have, the better people will treat you.

How to influence people? The illusion of choice

If you want a person to do something, give them a false choice. The trick is this: just give the person two options to choose from. For example, if you need to go shopping or clean your room, just ask, “Do you want to vacuum or go to the store?”. In this case, the person feels like they have some control over the situation and are more likely to agree to your offer.

How to influence people? Ask for more

The theory is that if you ask for a small favor, people are more likely to agree to a larger request. In other words, ask for something big before asking for what you need. For example, you want a bike, then use this psychological trick and ask for a car.

Pauses in conversation help to influence people

If you need more information from someone, meaningful pauses can help. Such a psychological trick is often used by journalists in their interviews. They know from the psychology of influence that silence can be awkward in conversation, and people often try to fill it.

Psychological tricks that will allow you to influence people

Do not argue on the main issue

When you are trying to negotiate something and influence the decision, argue on a secondary issue. For example, if you need to make repairs, do not argue about whether the repair will be done or not, when it will be done, etc.

Move on to secondary questions: what kind of tile to buy or where is it better to choose wallpaper. In this case, the beginning of the repair will be taken for granted.

Use the passive voice in communication

Such a psychological trick will help you if you do not want to argue and conflict, but want to convey your thoughts to another and influence him. Instead of saying, "You didn't give me a report," try saying, "The report wasn't sent."

How to influence people? Call the person by name more often

In the course of a conversation, often calling a person by name, you automatically arouse the sympathy of the interlocutor. However, this psychological trick should not be abused, as excessive use of the name can cause suspicion and doubt about your sincerity.

Let others speak

Even if you are more savvy in a particular subject, let others teach you. Thanks to such a psychological trick, it will not be difficult for you to further influence a person in order to convince him of something, because they already trust you.

Paraphrasing helps to influence a person

In communication with him, paraphrase what your interlocutor said, and repeat it. The interlocutor will understand that they are really listening, and most importantly, they understand.

And here's another psychological trick: if you want your interlocutor to agree with you, don't forget to nod when asking a question. A nod is taken as a sign that everything you say is true. In addition, following the laws of social behavior, people tend to nod in response.

Finally, before shaking hands, make sure your hands are well warmed. Warm hands are associated in people with friendliness and affability, while touching a cold hand can cause rejection and hostility. Here is such an interesting psychological trick.

There is an opinion that one of the main tricks to help win people over was revealed by Benjamin Franklin, an American politician. One day, he decided to win the sympathy of a man who was clearly distrustful of Franklin by resorting to a psychological trick: he asked the man to lend him a rare book and then kindly thanked him. As a result, they became friends, finding common interests and topics for communication.

The fact is that a person becomes more favorable to those to whom he has done good than to those to whom he himself owes.

The one who once did you a good deed will be more inclined to do something good for you again than the one who owes you.

Trick #2: Ask for more than you need

This technique works every time, allowing us to get exactly what we need. Its main charm lies precisely in its cunning: if you need to get something from your employer, spouse, or even your own children, then ask in advance for more than you expect to receive.

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A person who does not want to fully satisfy your huge need will most likely offer an easier option. And exactly what was needed! Bravo, you are a virtuoso manipulator!

Trick #3: Call the person by their first name

This is how a person works, that he always likes to hear his name - this is the most pleasant consonance of sounds that you can think of. And you must admit, when a loved one affectionately says “You are my dear Masha / Nastenka / Lenochka”, then it becomes so warm and cozy inside. And this is really a powerful psychological trick that allows you to win over anyone!

Dale Carnegie, famed psychologist, writer, and educator, wrote in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People that mentioning a person's name often can transform any relationship for the better.

Trick #4: The Mirror Effect

In theater universities and acting schools, the Mirror exercise is very often used, the main task of which is to learn to capture the mood of your interlocutor and feel him as if you are Siamese twins. Use it in your life and the result will not be long in coming!

To learn how to master the “mirror”, try to train on relatives and friends: pay attention to their gestures, mannerisms, facial and body expressions under any circumstances. And then, communicating with them alone, repeat these movements. This will create a trusting relationship.

Trick #5: Stay close to the critic

A critic is a person who is inclined to express his opinion, often negative, in order to increase his weight in society. In general, the character is unpleasant for everyone, but he still exists and is able to well spoil, if not life, then a day in life.

To avoid overly criticizing such a person, try to stay close to him. We're not talking about friendship or close relationships, it's different: a person tends to speak less or softer about those who are nearby.

Good day to all! We have already examined in the article the types and characteristics of gestures, facial expressions, intonation and postures. And today I want to add the most interesting features of a non-verbal relationship so that you can easily recognize the state of another person and win him over. And then in business negotiations or a romantic meeting you will not be equal, and you will be able to achieve your goals with just the right pose and attitude.

rules

1. Each country has its own, "local" interpretation of gestures, facial expressions and personal zonal space. Therefore, before interpreting the non-verbal manifestations of another, if you are traveling, you need to study the communication style of people of the particular country in which you are. For example, our favorite gesture "okay" in Portugal would be regarded as an insult. Or, for example, we are accustomed to communicating with strangers at arm's length, letting only acquaintances and loved ones come closer. But in Latin America, a stranger can easily afford to approach you at a distance of 30 cm, and this will not be considered a violation of your boundaries or regarded as signs of sympathy.
2. It is necessary to interpret gestures only in combination with other non-verbal manifestations, combining with the information that your partner pronounces. Because one gesture has a huge number of interpretations. Depending on the circumstances accompanying the manifestations of the body, sometimes even opposite. And this complex coincidence is called congruence. And in case of its absence, the interlocutor will take non-verbal manifestations as reliable information, not believing your words.
3. The context of manifestations of movements and postures, the situation itself is very important. For example, in a cold room, a person will cross his arms and legs, not because he is not ready to communicate with you openly and confidentially, but because he is experiencing cold. He's trying to keep warm.
4. If you can't decipher what exactly is going on with the person, feel free to ask direct, clarification-oriented questions.

Techniques for effective business and personal communication

1. A smile is a universal way to win over

No matter what country you are in. Only if the smile is sincere, not forced. If you notice the absence of asymmetry and the presence of "crow's feet" near the eyes, that is, wrinkles, then be sure you are really welcome. But raised eyebrows at the same time indicate tension and anxiety at the moment. Especially when they give a compliment. In this case, a person is trying to deceive and gain confidence.

2. There is a lot of energy in the interest

Therefore, in a sincere conversation, the interlocutor will never yawn. He will sit straight, look into your eyes and talk cheerfully, slightly leaning forward with his body towards you. If you want to be believed that you are interested, and that there is congruence, put your hands in parallel, whether on the table or on your knees, as long as the palms are facing up. But if you want to give yourself the appearance of a confident person who has taken place - put your hands on the table with your palms down.

3. Mirror the other

If you want to quickly establish communication and build his trust in relation to you. That is, casually take a pose, like his. Use the same words, even if you usually use different ones. Thus, there will be a feeling of similarity, closeness, which will significantly affect the outcome of the conversation. And, having copied the pose, try to listen to your feelings and the feelings that arise. So it will be easier to understand what is happening at the moment with another person.

4. Follow your gaze

Because if most of the time during a conversation you look at the floor or to the side, there will be no confidence in you. Try to look directly at the communication partner all the time, but with breaks so that it is not regarded as aggression.

5. If you want to impress on a romantic date

Remember that the size of your pupils conveys most of the information that the interlocutor will even unconsciously read and understand whether you are really likeable or not. Pupils dilate when we look at what we like, think about it, or if we are in a dimly lit environment.

6. To feel more confident, sit up straight with a straight back.

You will simply feel how you begin to perceive yourself differently, and subsequently those around you. After all, you must admit, there is little faith in the success of a hunched or stooped person.

7.Fast reading of information

The human brain is able to recognize the emotional state of the interlocutor in a fifth of a second. Therefore, if you want to impress, but feel anxiety or fear. Find a place where you will be alone with yourself and try to tune in to the necessary sensations. This can be done using affirmations and other techniques that I talked about in the article. And no matter what methods you use, the main thing is that in the first seconds of the conversation you do not give out your anxiety and insecurity on a non-verbal level.

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Influence of drinks

Did you know that the temperature of the drink that you choose at any meeting affects the perception of the interlocutor and the conversation itself?

For example, if you drink warm tea or coffee, due to the fact that unconsciously there are sensations associated with comfort and coziness, you will create a trusting relationship with another person. And accordingly, the feeling of a cold glass or a bottle of water will keep you on your toes, and during business negotiations you will be able to think rationally, not succumbing to tricks.

By the way, this method can be used when you want to win over your partner by offering him a cup of hot and fragrant tea.

Loss of composure

If you feel like you are losing your temper or need to make an urgent decision. Are you confused and out of control? Tighten your calves, toes, or clench your hands into a fist. Then try to feel how you sit, how your feet touch the floor. Thus, you will return to yourself, your body, your very real physical sensations, which, accordingly, will help you look at the situation from a different angle, feeling the ground under your feet. And it will also give you confidence.

physical contact

To influence any decision in your favor will help the usual patting on the shoulder or touching it. The main thing is that this touch should be by chance and not imposed, and even more so familiar. This gesture evokes trust and a sense of intimacy. It is commonly used in sales and services to encourage customers to stay longer in the store or leave a good tip.

Handshakes

The features of a handshake are not only that it disposes to itself and sets up for warm cooperation, reducing the risk of being deceived. The Harvard Business School conducted research, the results of which revealed. Those people who shook hands upon meeting each other subsequently made more honest deals than those who ignored this gesture of greeting.

This happens because when we touch another, we immediately feel it, it is alive and real for us, empathy arises for it. And in the absence of touch, our interlocutor is perceived more as an object with which we want to satisfy our needs.

An interesting feature about mirroring

It is able not only to arrange the interlocutor and give an opportunity to feel his condition, but also helps to find a creative solution to any problem. That is, it is necessary to organize a team whose members during the discussion and brainstorming will simultaneously perform some movements, for example, nodding their heads. This gives a tremendous result, setting up the team for cooperation and allowing it to develop brilliant ideas.

Watch your face

To objectively perceive information, watch the muscles of your face. If your eyebrows are furrowed, and your lips and cheekbones are tense, you will negatively evaluate the content of an email or the words of another person. Try to sit comfortably, concentrate on your face, gradually relaxing the muscles until you feel that the look has become calmer and less tense. Similarly, use sign language when communicating with another person.

If you notice that the interlocutor is frowning, start a conversation about something pleasant, so that he laughs or relaxes, and when you notice that the muscles of his face are not so tense, return to the topic of your communication.

If you are worried about something

Are you very upset and can not calm down? There is one movement that can help you relax. You should raise your hand, which is convenient for you, and sharply, while exhaling loudly, throw it down. You can repeat several times, mentally or out loud saying something that you want to say. This helps to release excess energy and tune in to the awareness of the problem and the way to solve it, instead of just worrying.

Conclusion

That's all, dear readers! If you want to know more information and nuances in deciphering the signals that the body sends, I recommend that you look at my article. There I compiled a list of the main literature on the study of body language. Open the boundaries of understanding your own and other people's behavior, then you will be able to succeed in any area, not allowing yourself to be deceived and led astray.

Subscribe to updates, soon I will release articles of a completely new format! See you soon on the blog pages.

We want to bring to the attention of our readers sixteen amusing "life hacks" that can make people feel or even act a certain way. Tips can be very useful, but you can only verify this from your own experience. So worth a try!

1. When a group of people laughs, everyone instinctively looks at the one they like the most (or at the one they would like to consider a close person).

2. When you have to do something particularly responsible or requiring concentration, in a word, something that usually makes us nervous, it is worth trying to chew gum or even eat something. This is associated on a subconscious level with a sense of security, since we usually eat when nothing threatens us.

3. If someone is angry with us, and at the same time we manage to remain calm, then the anger will probably only worsen from this. However, later this person will become ashamed of his behavior.

4. If a person answers a question only partially, or is too evasive, you should not ask again. Better to just look him in the eye. He will most likely understand that this answer did not satisfy the interlocutor, and will continue to talk.

5. Facial expressions, it turns out, can not only be the result of feelings, but also cause these same feelings. Feedback works almost flawlessly, so those who want to feel happy should smile as often and widely as possible.

6. It is better not to use such phrases as "I think" or "I think" in speech or letters. They go without saying, but they give the words a shade of uncertainty.

7. Before an important interview, it is useful to imagine that we have a long-standing close friendship with the interviewer. It almost always depends on us how to perceive the situation, and our calmness and ease can be transmitted to the interlocutor.

8. If we manage to force ourselves to be sincerely happy when meeting someone, the next time we meet, this person will be glad to see us. (By the way, dogs do this trick on us all the time.)

9. People tend to accept a smaller favor after they've refused us a larger one.

10. Many symptoms of stress coincide with manifestations of joyful excitement (heavy breathing, rapid heartbeat, etc.). If you convince yourself that the situation is actually a stimulus, and not a threat at all, depression will surely be replaced by revival.

11. Many of us have been present at a meeting, in a situation where there was reason to expect sharp and unpleasant criticism from someone. Under such circumstances, it is best to sit next to this person. Practice shows that he will lose all his ardor and intent to attack, or at least be much softer.

12. Most people do not distinguish magnificence from simple self-confidence. If you learn how to demonstrate confidence with all your appearance, people will be drawn to us.

13. Good advice for those who work in the service industry: you should hang a mirror behind you. People will behave much more correctly, because no one likes to see themselves irritated and angry.

14. A very useful habit is to notice the color of a person’s eyes when meeting. He will unconsciously feel sympathy for us due to slightly lengthened eye contact.

15. When you go on a first date, it's smart to take your partner somewhere exciting. Subsequently, positive emotions from this meeting will be associated with us.

16. A lot of useful information can be extracted by paying attention to the position of the interlocutor's legs. If, say, the toes of his shoes are facing the opposite direction from us, this usually means that the person wants to end the conversation as soon as possible.