Which method will not help correctly. How to make the right decision? Which solution is correct

If you are in doubt about the correctness of the solution, consult an expert in the field. Doka in a certain area will help you sort things out and explain why you should do it one way or another. When you do not have the ability or desire to resort to outside help, you can collect information on a subject of interest to you yourself. The more facts you have, the more fully you can paint a picture of what is happening.

Weigh all the pros and cons well. Try to predict how events might develop under different outcomes. Assess the current situation, think calmly, objectively and soberly. In no case do not make a decision under the influence of strong emotions, both negative and positive. Better wait, calm down, and if your position does not change over time, act. Perhaps then your decision will be the opposite of the first, then you will save yourself from making mistakes.

Will of chance

If all possible outcomes seem about the same to you, you can use old methods. Flip a coin or draw lots. Such methods are good not because they tell you what to do, but because, having received a certain result, you can suddenly understand what outcome you were hoping for in your soul. So do it - in accordance with your own instinct.

In general, some people tend to underestimate the benefits that can be obtained by listening to their intuition. Don't be like them. Trust your own feelings and sensations more. It is your subconscious that gives you a signal, and in fact it accumulates all the information, even the one that you considered lost, and all your life experience.

It happens that you cannot decide on some act because you do not trust a certain person. Think about what reasons you have for this. If you do not know this individual well enough, it is better to refuse to do business with him, since your instinct stops you from doing so.

Do not be afraid

Perhaps you find it difficult to make a decision because you are not ready to take responsibility for it. If this is really your responsibility, then you should muster up the courage and take matters into your own hands. And when they try to force you to make a choice for someone, you do not need to be a puppet in the wrong hands.

Maybe you are afraid of the changes that can be expected immediately after you make a certain decision. In this case, it is worth calming down and realizing that changes lead to improvements in almost 100 percent of cases, and stop hesitating.

A person is constantly faced with the need to make one or another choice. This situation accompanies him literally at every step: in the store, when you need to decide what and how much to buy, at work, in family life. Well, if we are talking about some insignificant problem that will not entail serious consequences in case of an error. So what if it's really important? If the price of an erroneous decision can be high? Some people in such a situation may be confused, delay in making a decision. How to act correctly?

Instruction

First of all, inspire yourself that the fact that you, under all sorts of pretexts, evade a solution, are playing for time, the problem will not disappear. The decision will still have to be made, so it's better to do it sooner rather than later.

Of course, "earlier" does not mean "hurriedly." Think it over well. If there are several options for solving a particular issue, problem, carefully consider them without missing a single one. Try to objectively analyze both the pros and cons of each option, and choose the best one.

If the issue is really complex, especially if you yourself feel and admit that you lack the knowledge or information to make a decision, seek advice from specialists whose opinion you can trust. And in general, if possible, in such situations, you should consult with knowledgeable people. As folk wisdom says, “one head is good, but two is better.”

How to make a decision when in doubt? This is a very important question. After all, our whole life is actually a string of decisions made on the simplest and most complex issues. And it depends on each previous decision what subsequent new questions life will put before us and what opportunities will open up before us. It is strange that the school devoted so much time to trigonometry, but did not give any instructions on such an important issue ...

I have several faithful assistants - proven methods that have helped me out many times and helped me make the right decision. I learned some techniques in personal growth trainings, some from the works of great philosophers, and some were suggested to me by ... my grandmother.

Sometimes it gets a little scary how even the simplest decision can change our destiny. Here is an example from life:

The girl was invited to a party in the middle of the week. She thought to go or not to go. Tired after work. Plus there's an important presentation tomorrow morning. Yet I decided to go. And as a result, she met her love. She got married and gave birth to her beloved children. She found her happiness and often wonders what her fate would have been if she had not gone to that party.

So from each of our decisions, even the smallest, depends on what will be the continuation of the scenario of our life.

In this context, I like the movie starring Jim Carrey Always say yes" If you haven't seen this movie, I highly recommend you watch it. Few people know that comedy is based on the biographical book of British writer Danny Wallace, who answered only “YES” to all offers for 6 months. The writer even starred in the film in the "bachelorette party" scene in a cameo role.

So, back to our main question: How to make the right decision when in doubt?.

1st technique "Intuition".

All subsequent techniques are very important, but the role of intuition should not be underestimated in any case. You have noticed that most often we immediately know, we feel what to do. I, for example, I tell myself: “Listen. What is your stomach telling you? You need to listen to your inner voice. But if that doesn't help, I use a few simple and proven techniques.

Actually, this folk wisdom, which is the quintessence of the experience of many previous generations our ancestors. For thousands of years they have noticed certain causes and effects. And this knowledge was passed on from generation to generation. So, my grandmother told me, if in doubt, you don’t know what decision to make, ask for advice from the 2 closest people. Grandmother said that through them the Angels tell you the best solution for you.

This method can be called to some extent following from the previous method: if your Angel cannot “get through” with the right decision to you through intuition, then he passes it on through the people closest to you.

3rd technique "Descartes square for decision making".

The essence of this simple technique is that the problem or issue must be considered from 4 different sides. After all, we often get hung up on one question: what will happen if THIS HAPPENS? Or what will I get if I DO THIS? But you need to ask yourself not 1, but 4 questions:

What will, if this will happen? (pros of this).
What will, if this NOT will happen ? (pros of not getting it).
What Will not, if this will happen? (cons of this).
What Will not, if this will NOT happen? (cons of not getting it).

To make it clearer, you can ask questions a little differently:

4th technique "Expansion of choice".

This is a very important technique. Often we get hung up on only one choice, “YES or NO”, “Do or Don’t”, and in our stubbornness we forget to consider all other options. For example, to buy this particular car on credit or not. If not, then continue to ride the subway. Due to the fact that we fixate only on the option "YES or NO", we forget about other options. For example, an alternative to taking the subway might be to buy an inexpensive car. And no longer on credit.

5th technique Jose Silva "Glass of water".

This is an amazing, effective, working technique. Its author is José Silva, who gained worldwide fame for the Silva Method he developed.- a set of psychological exercises. This is how you should do the exercise. Before going to bed, take a glass of water with clean, not boiled water with both hands (you can take mineral water), close your eyes and formulate a question that needs to be addressed. Then drink about half of the water in small sips, repeating to yourself approximately the following words: "This is all I need to do in order to find the right solution." Open your eyes, put a glass with the remaining water near the bed and go to bed. In the morning, drink water and thank you for the right decision. The decision may clearly "come" immediately in the morning after waking up, or it may dawn in the middle of the day. The decision will come like a flash and it will become completely incomprehensible, how could one doubt it. Here it is, the correct solution.

Technique 6: Stick to Your Basic Priorities

The technique is based on the ideas of the philosophers of ancient Greece. "Ataraxia" is equanimity, calmness. It is achieved when a person correctly distributes the system of values. After all, most often a person is restless and suffers from the fact that he does not get what he wants.

The key to realizing happiness is very simple: you need to enjoy what you have and not desire what you cannot have! (Aldous Huxley)

The wise Greeks distributed the IMPORTANCE of values and their basic priorities as follows:

Natural and natural values like, water and food.
Values are natural, but not quite natural dictated by the social nature of all people, for example, the value of having a higher education and other similar stereotypical values. Most of these values can be liberated.
Values are not natural and not natural. This is fame, success, servility, wealth. This is the opinion of others, condemnation from the outside. Or, conversely, excessive praise. With these values in general, you can easily say goodbye!

So, when you want to get something when making a decision, analyze according to the above classification whether you really need it or these are not natural and not natural values imposed on you by the stereotypes of society. Do not think about what others will think, but at the same time be sure that your decision will not harm anyone.

7th technique "Wait".

When making important and long-term solutions it is important to get rid of emotions. For example, in relationships with loved ones or if you want to change jobs, but are afraid of change.

Sometimes, to make the right decision, you just need to wait. You know that impulsive desires are often difficult to deal with. At the same time, if you wait a little, the desire may disappear on its own. And what seemed to be the first necessity yesterday, today seems completely unnecessary. No wonder they say: "That thought needs to be put to rest."

To get rid of emotions, you can use the exercise called "10/10/10". We need to answer the question “How will I feel about this in 10 hours / 10 months / 10 years?”.

Summary.

You got the answer to the question how to make a decision when in doubt? And now you have to make your choice. When making a decision, it is important:

turn off emotions
listen to intuition;
ask for advice from the 2 closest people;
consider other options, expand the choice;
evaluate all the PROs and CONS on the issues of the Descartes Square;
evaluate whether the decision is inconsistent with your basic principles;
if possible, postpone the decision, wait, "sleep with this thought" using the "Glass of Water" technique.

Under all other circumstances, always be confident in yourself and in your dreamdon't give up, be optimistic. Do not think about what others will think, but at the same time, your decision will be correct only when, after making it, you will have peace of mind and you will be sure that you do not harm anyone and do not go against your principles.

Do not be afraid, take your decision, even if it turns out to be wrong, because "No one stumbles while lying in bed" (Japanese wisdom)!

I wish you inspiration and a lot of strength for all your plans and decisions!

When people share the worst decisions they have made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.

Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z were active in life, which would cancel the decisions made.

But we are not slaves of our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to become dull or completely disappear. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that in the case when you need to make an important decision, it is better to go to sleep. Good advice, by the way. It won't hurt to take note! Although for many solutions one sleep is not enough. We need a specific strategy.

One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) - former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, popular author, television commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:

How will you feel about it 10 minutes later?
What will you think about this decision after 10 months?
What will be your reaction to this in 10 years?

By focusing our attention on these deadlines, we distance ourselves some distance from the problem of our making an important decision.

Now let's look at the effect of this rule on an example.

Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend Cyril. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronika claims that Kirill is a wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly who she has been looking for throughout her life. However, she is very worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and. She does not have an endless amount of time to develop a relationship with Kirill, who is under 40. During these 9 months, she never met Cyril's daughter from her first marriage, and in their pair the cherished "I love you" never sounded from either side.

The divorce from his wife was terrible. After that, Cyril decided to avoid a serious relationship. In addition, he keeps his daughter away from his personal life. Veronica understands that he is in pain, but she is also offended that such an important part of her beloved's life is closed to her.

Veronica knows that Cyril does not like to rush into decisions. But should she then herself take the step and say “I love you” first?

The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she has to decide whether she confesses her love to Cyril on the weekend or not.

Question 1: How will you react to this decision after 10 minutes?

Answer:“I think I would be worried, but at the same time proud of myself that I took a chance and said it first.”

Question 2: What would you think of your decision if 10 months had passed?

Answer:“I don't think I'll regret it 10 months later. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Who does not take risks, then does not drink champagne!

Question 3: How do you feel about your decision 10 years later?

Answer:“Regardless of how Cyril reacts, in 10 years the decision to declare love first is unlikely to matter. By that time, either we'll be happy together, or I'll be in a relationship with someone else."

Notice the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result, we have quite a simple solution:

Veronica has to take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Cyril in the end. But without a conscious analysis of the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult for her. Short-term emotions—fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection—were distractions and deterrents.

What happened to Veronica after, you might ask. She did say "I love you" first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in limbo. Cyril did not confess his love to her. But progress was on the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and confess the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together are up to 80%.

Eventually

The 10/10/10 rule helps you win on the emotional side of the game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem rich and sharp, and the future, on the contrary, is vague. Therefore, the emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.

The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change your angle of view: to consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point of view that you are looking at in the present.

This method allows you to put your short-term emotions into perspective. It's not that you should ignore them. Often they even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you must not let your emotions get the better of you.

It is necessary to remember the contrast of emotions not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you intentionally avoid a serious conversation with your boss, you are letting your emotions get the best of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, and after 10 months - will you be glad that you decided to have this conversation? Breathe easy? Or will you feel proud?

But what if you want to reward the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a promotion: will you doubt the correctness of your decision in 10 minutes, will you regret what you did 10 months later (suddenly other employees will feel left out), and will it Will the promotion make any difference to your business 10 years from now?

As you can see short-term emotions are not always harmful. The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long run is not the only correct one. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.

When people share the worst decisions they have made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.

Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z were active in life, which would cancel the decisions made.

How will you feel about it 10 minutes later?
What will you think about this decision after 10 months?
What will be your reaction to this in 10 years?

By focusing our attention on these deadlines, we distance ourselves some distance from the problem of our making an important decision.

Now let's look at the effect of this rule on an example.

Veronica knows that Cyril does not like to rush into decisions. But should she then herself take the step and say “I love you” first?

Question 1: How will you react to this decision after 10 minutes?

Answer:“I think I would be worried, but at the same time proud of myself that I took a chance and said it first.”

Question 2: What would you think of your decision if 10 months had passed?

Answer:“I don't think I'll regret it 10 months later. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Who does not take risks, then does not drink champagne!

Question 3: How do you feel about your decision 10 years later?

Notice the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result, we have quite a simple solution:

Eventually

The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change your angle of view: to consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point of view that you are looking at in the present.

Choosing the right solution is not easy and risky. All our plans are divided into those, the consequences of which can be accurately predicted and those, the final result of which can only be assumed.

The most difficult thing is when the choice can only be taken at random, without being able to know the chances of a successful outcome.

There are decisions that you can think about for a long time, or take advice from those whose authority you trust. And it also happens that the most serious problem needs to be solved in the conditions of an extreme shortage of time. In such cases, there is no time for thinking and trying on chances. So how do you make the right decision?

Motivated to tears

The most important thing in choosing the right step is motivation and awareness. As they say, you need to know exactly which harbor you are heading for. Otherwise, no wind will be favorable. Motive is the main criterion for making a decision.

It is more important than the question why and for what it is necessary. A clear understanding of the motives will give, if not one hundred percent success in the intended enterprise, then at least protect against possible mistakes in the future.

Knowing what you are guided by, thinking about the problem, there is every chance in case of failure not to step on the usual rake. Understanding motives reduces the risk of making a decision that is dangerous for fate. Everything that is done consciously has fewer irreversible and irreparable consequences.

What influences decision making

The lack of information on the issue that is on the agenda will make it difficult to make the right decision. Blurring and unconsciousness of ideas about the subject will lead away from the intended path.

It is possible to take an absolutely correct conclusion and bring it to complete failure by wrong means and careless execution.

And it is possible that the wrong decision can lead to an excellent result, making corrections and adjustments in the course of its execution. Such a development of events is quite in the spirit of the legendary Napoleon - to get involved in a fight, and then we'll see.

Take a break, trust your intuition

If you are in doubt about finding the right verdict, you need to take a short pause and ask yourself: do I have enough information on this issue.

If the answer is no, by the way, there will be a second pause, during which one should ask the question: is it possible to wait a little longer with the final decision? Or maybe even think about it and don’t sign any sentences to fate at all.

But even endless hesitation in search of the right answer exhausts the nervous system and drives us to insanity. If it is impossible to predict or predict the consequences of a decision made, make it quickly.

In this case, intuition comes into play. And, if there is no sense in logical thinking, you will have to rely on your subconscious. The intuition comes first and is usually the most correct.

The subconscious gives the correct conclusion immediately, and it should be trusted. Do not miss the moment: after a short time, intuition will turn off, and security systems will turn on: experience, fears, doubts. Therefore, if logic does not get close to the solution, rely on intuition and on the first thought that comes to mind.

Situation in a box

When making a choice, we usually think about what might happen if it is accepted. The decision-making technique, called, provides a universal opportunity to learn to look at the consequences of one's actions from four sides at once.

Draw a square. In the upper segment, divided into 2 parts, write:

What will I get by making this decision.
What will I get if I don't take it.

In the lower segment:

What will I lose by not making this decision.
What do I lose by accepting it.

After that, thoughtfully fill in all four squares. This will give you the most complete picture of your gains and losses in case of making or not making even the most difficult decision in your life.

Postpone until a tricky morning

There is the surest and widely popular method of answering difficult questions. In the foreign version, it sounds like: "I'll think about it tomorrow." In Russia, this was a law, which was called "Morning is wiser than evening."

Ask yourself three times if you doubt your conclusions. On the advice of Orthodox elders, before making a difficult decision, you need to ask God (Higher Powers, intuition, subconsciousness) for advice three times in prayer.

The first answer will be built on emotions. The second is logical. And the third is that which is closest to the truth. The necessary revelation is always what comes to mind on the third count.

Hat analysis

In difficult situations, you can go the right route in a playful way. Imagine that you take turns putting on seven hats of different colors. Each hat in turn dramatically changes the type of thinking.

In a red hat, you are too emotional and excited. In blue you become more intuitive. In lilac - more rational. In pink - unreasonably arrogant and uncritical. The black hat will plunge you into the abyss of negativity and defeatism. The orange hat will cover you with fantastic and impossible projects.

But the last White Hat is the acquired wisdom. Having considered and combined all your “hat analysis”, you will make the most sensible and realistic decision.

Everyone knows from experience that giving advice is easier than accepting it from others. But another thing is also true: face to face - you can’t see the face, the big one is seen at a distance.

When it comes to our person and our future future, ubiquitous emotions prevent us from making the right decision. The right decision will hide in the back of consciousness, and become deaf behind the emotional background. Imagine that the choice is not in front of you, but in front of your friend. What would you advise him? Here, emotions will recede, and common sense and adequate advice will come to the fore. Since it is no longer about your destiny, and you can, stepping aside from yourself, argue from the standpoint of logic and sanity.

Decide on your priorities

It happens that an opinion that you consider exclusively yours is imposed on you by the surrounding reality. People tend to take other people's aspirations and desires for their own out of pure imitation.

Being like everyone else, striving for what the majority strives for is a common mistake in the decision-making process. Suppose a neighbor visited an exotic country and was satisfied.

Do not rush to issue a passport. Resting in hot countries is the decision of a neighbor. After a pause, you can come to the surprising conclusion that the best rest for you would be a tent on the shore of a local reservoir.

A friend opened his own business and drives a Bentley. And why do you need a Bentley, if you have already given all your love to a mountain bike? And you prefer quiet and contemplative classes to the hassle with your own business.

And in general, your principle: “Money can’t buy the best?” So it turns out: never confuse other people's life constructions with your own.

Don't get emotional

How to make a difficult decision if you constantly doubt your feelings? Today - one mood and, therefore, a certain decision. Tomorrow a different confidence has settled in us, in accordance with which we turn 180 degrees.

And the day after tomorrow they rejected everything that they decided and came to some new frontier. All these jumps are the result of emotions, not logical reasoning and reliable information.

And, as you know, there is nothing worse than a verdict taken in the heat of the moment, in a fit of emotional storm. The worst and most disastrous decisions are those that come from our passions. They have no place in making fateful conclusions.

Never try to shift the burden of making a difficult decision onto someone else's shoulders. Make your choice yourself. By this you prove your maturity, determination and ability to keep your own life under control.

Otherwise, your life will be controlled by other people and random circumstances. Do not blame anyone if in difficult situations you did not cope with your obligations. We must learn to take full responsibility for the decisions made and be responsible for their consequences.

long box

Having chosen your path, immediately begin to take the first steps along it. When you shelve a task, you lock up your determination and learn to receive endless delays from life.

This forms a person capable of decisive action, an inert defeatist. Do not breed bad habits: do not put off the necessary for tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, for "in a week."

By doing so, you run the risk of never doing something important. Once you've reached your final verdict, map out the means to achieve it, and jump right into the action.

In difficult situations, always keep in mind the end result of your intentions. Visually paint a picture of what will happen if your plan is implemented, and strive to get there with all your might.

Then you will not be afraid of delays and bumps along the way. If you clearly see the goal, you will always get to the right place. This will not allow you to turn off the selected route and leave everything halfway.

To follow our decision and follow the road to the end is the only way to know if we made the right choice. If you don't pass, you won't know.

No regrets

Do not regret what and how you decided, even if as a result you did not get what you wanted. Even if fate handed you something that you didn’t aspire to in any way at all.

Tell yourself: this was one of those intentions, the consequences of which were not easy to predict. Yes, and to know for sure whether it was correct or not, there is no probability.

If you had gone the other way, wouldn't the consequences have been even more unpredictable and sadder? Perhaps this was your most correct choice of all possible.

And, if you calmly take full responsibility for the consequences of your decisions, you walk through life more confidently, and most importantly, at the speed you personally need.

Finally, for lovers of mathematics and statistics, we recommend watching Dan Gilbert's video " What prevents people from making the right decisions?»