Mats are abusive. Any swear words (decent)

*Fool *
For a very long time, the word "fool" was not offensive. In the documents of the XV-XVII centuries. This
the word occurs as a name. And they are called so by no means serfs, but quite respectable people "Prince Fedor Semenovich the Fool of Kemsky", "Prince Ivan Ivanovich the Bearded Fool Zasekin", "Moscow clerk (also a rather big position V.G.) Fool Mishurin". The countless "stupid" surnames Durov, Durakov, Durnovo also begin from the same time. But the fact is that the word "fool" was often used as a second, non-church name. In the old days, it was popular to give a child a middle name in order to deceive evil spirits, they say, what to take from a fool?

*Goon*
There is a theory that at first "rednecks" were called those who drank greedily, choking. One way or another, but the first reliably known meaning of this word is "greedy, miser." And now the expression "Don't be a goon!" means "Don't be greedy!"

*Contagion*
Girls are different. It is possible that not everyone is offended by the word "infection", but you certainly cannot call it a compliment. And yet, initially it was still a compliment. In the first half of the 18th century, secular suitors constantly "called" beautiful ladies "infections". And all because the word "infect" initially had not only a medical-infectious meaning, but was also a synonym for "slay". In the Novgorod First Chronicle, under the year 1117, there is an entry: "One from the clerk was infected from thunder." In general, it infected so much that I didn’t have time to get sick. So the word "infection" became
designate female charms with which they fought (infected) men.

*Moron *
The Greek word for "idiot" did not originally contain even a hint of mental illness. In ancient Greece, it meant "private person", "separate, isolated person." It is no secret that the ancient Greeks were very responsible in public life and called themselves "polites". Those who shied away from participating in politics (for example, did not go to the polls) were called "idiotes" (that is, occupied only with their personal narrow interests). Naturally, conscious citizens did not respect "idiots", and soon this word was overgrown with new ones. disparaging connotations of "limited, undeveloped, ignorant person." And already among the Romans, the Latin idiota means only "ignorant, ignorant", from where there are two steps to the meaning of "stupid".

*Cretin*
If we were transported about five or six centuries ago to the mountainous region of the French Alps and turned to the inhabitants there: "Hello, cretins!", No one would have thrown you into the abyss for this .. Why be offended in the local dialect word cretin is quite decent and is translated as "Christian" (from the distorted French chretien). So it was until they began to notice that among the Alpine cretins there are often mentally retarded people with a characteristic goiter on the neck. all the ensuing consequences. When doctors began to describe this disease, they decided not to invent anything new, and used the dialect word "nerd", which was extremely rarely used. So the Alpine "Christians" became "feeble-minded."

*Loch*
This now very popular word "loh" two centuries ago was in use only among the inhabitants of the Russian north and they called it not people, but fish. Probably, many have heard how courageously and stubbornly the famous salmon (or, as it is also called, salmon) goes to the spawning place. Rising against the current, he overcomes even steep rocky rapids. It is clear that having reached and spawned, the fish loses its last strength (as they said, it “cloaks up”) and the wounded one is literally carried downstream. And there her
Naturally, cunning fishermen are waiting and taking, as they say, with their bare hands. Gradually, this word passed from the folk language into the jargon of itinerant merchants (hence, by the way, the expression "talk on a hair dryer", that is, to communicate in jargon). "Sucker" they called a peasant peasant who came from the village to the city, and who was easy to fool.

*bastard*
The etymology of "scoundrel" goes back to the word "frozen". The cold does not evoke any pleasant associations even for the northern peoples, therefore, they began to call a "scoundrel" a cold, insensitive, indifferent, callous, inhuman, in general, extremely (to shiver!) unpleasant subject. The word "scum", by the way, comes from the same place. Like the now popular "thugs".

*Mymra*
"Mymra" is a Komi-Permyak word and it is translated as "gloomy". Once in Russian speech, it began to mean, first of all, an uncommunicative homebody (in Dahl's dictionary it is written: "mymrit" - to sit at home without getting out.") Gradually, they began to call "mymra" simply an unsociable, boring, gray and gloomy person.

*Insolent*
The words "impudence", "impudent" existed in the Russian language for a long time in the sense of "sudden, impetuous, explosive, passionate." There was also the concept of "impudent death" in Ancient Russia, that is, death is not slow, natural, but sudden, violent. In the church work of the XI century "Cheti Menaia" there are such lines: "The horses brazenly ride", "I brazenly drown the rivers" (brazenly, that is, quickly).

*Scoundrel*
The fact that this person is not fit for something, in general, is understandable. But in the 19th century, when recruiting was introduced in Russia, this word was not an insult. So they called people who were not fit for military service. That is, since he did not serve in the army, then he is a scoundrel!

*Scoundrel*
But this word is Polish in origin and meant only "a simple, humble person." So, the well-known play by A. Ostrovsky "Enough Stupidity in Every Wise Man" was shown in Polish theaters under the title "Notes of a scoundrel". Accordingly, all non-gentry belonged to the "vile people".

*Trash*
Another word that originally existed exclusively in the plural. It could not be otherwise, since the "scum" was called the remnants of the liquid that remained at the bottom along with the sediment. And since all the rabble often wandered around the taverns and taverns, drinking the muddy remnants of alcohol after other visitors, the word "scum" soon switched to them. It is also possible that the expression "scum of society", that is, people who have fallen, are "at the bottom", played a significant role here.

*Vulgarity*
"Vulgarity" is a native Russian word, which is rooted in the verb "let's go." Until the 17th century, it was used in a more than decent sense and meant everything that was familiar, traditional, done according to custom, that which had gone from old times. However, at the end of the 17th and beginning of the 18th centuries, Peter's reforms began, cutting a window to Europe and fighting all the ancient "vulgar" customs. The word "vulgar" began to lose respect before our eyes and now it meant more and more "backward", "hateful", "uncivilized", "rustic".

*Bastard*
"Bastards" in Old Russian is the same as "dragging". Therefore, the bastard was originally called all sorts of garbage, which was raked into a heap. This meaning (among others) is also preserved by Dahl: "Scum everything that is spun or shrunk into one place: weeds, grass and roots, litter, dragged by a harrow from arable land" .. Over time, this word began to define ANY crowd gathered in one place. And only then they began to call them all kinds of despicable people - drunks, thieves, vagrants and other asocial elements.

*Bitch*
Anyone who opened Dahl's dictionary can read that a bitch means "dead, dead cattle", that is, in other words, carrion, rotting meat. ) whores. And since the harmfulness of a woman apparently turned on men (purely masculine pleasure from overcoming obstacles), the word "bitch", retaining a fair amount of negativity, appropriated some of the features of a "femme fatale". Although the vulture, a vulture that feeds on carrion, still reminds us of its original meaning.

*Bastard*
The word "hybrid", as you know, is non-Russian and entered the national arsenal rather late. Much later than the hybrids themselves - crossbreeds of different animal species. So the people came up with the words "bastard" and "geek" for such crossbreeds. Words for a long time in the animal sphere did not linger and began to be used as a humiliating name for bastards and bastards, that is, a "cross" between nobles and commoners.

*Chmo*
"Smear", "smear", according to Dahl, originally meant "waste", "be in need", "vegetate". Gradually, this verb gave birth to a noun that defines a miserable person who is in a humiliated, oppressed state. In the prison world, prone to all sorts of secret ciphers, the word "schmuck" began to be considered as an abbreviation for the definition of "Man, Morally Degraded", which, however, is not far from the original meaning.

*Shantrapa*
Not all French made it to France. Many of those taken prisoner were employed by the Russian nobles. Of course, they were not suitable for suffering, but how tutors, teachers and leaders of serf theaters came in handy. They examined the peasants sent to the casting and, if they did not see talents in the applicant, they waved their hand and said "Сhantra pas" ("not fit for singing").

*Sharomyzhnik*
1812. The previously invincible Napoleonic army, exhausted by the cold and partisans, was retreating from Russia. The brave "conquerors of Europe" have turned into frozen and hungry ragamuffins. Now they did not demand, but humbly asked the Russian peasants for something to eat, addressing them "her ami" ("love druz"). The peasants, who are not strong in foreign languages, called the French beggars "sharomyzhnik". Not the last role in these metamorphoses was played, apparently, by the Russian words "to fumble" and "mykat".

*Trash*
Since the peasants were not always able to provide "humanitarian aid" to the former occupiers, they often included horse meat, including the fallen, in their diet. In French, "horse" cheval (hence, by the way, the well-known word "chevalier" knight, rider) .. However, the Russians, who did not see any special chivalry in eating horses, christened the miserable Frenchmen with the word "trash", in the sense of "rags".

*Rogue*
Rogue, rogue - words that came into our speech from Germany. The German schelmen meant "swindler, deceiver". Most often, this was the name of a fraudster posing as another person. In G. Heine's poem "Shelm von Berger", this role is played by the Bergen executioner, who appeared at a secular masquerade, pretending to be a noble person. The duchess, with whom he danced, caught the deceiver by tearing off his mask.

Submitted by Lev Utevsky

Incredible Facts

Cursing and saying bad words is an aesthetically unattractive habit.

However, few people know about the destructive influence of the mat on the life and health of a person.

Today, swear words can be heard everywhere. They have become an integral part of modern people. They are pronounced by both women and men, and sometimes even teenagers and children.

None of them think about what mate means and what its impact on our lives is.

Where did mat come from

How and when did swear words appear in Russian?

According to some researchers, the mat went to people from the conquerors and began during the Mongol-Tatar yoke.

Others believe that this is a delusion. After all, some words were found on birch bark letters, which were used much earlier than the Mongol-Tatar invasion.

Then it turns out that the mat is of Slavic origin, rooted in antiquity.

Some argue that at the very beginning, the mat did not have such a sharp semantic coloring. And some words were used in several completely harmless meanings. Over time, they were forced out of the language, giving way to a stronger meaning.

Thus, there was a change in the semantic meaning of the word. First of all, this applies to simple, at first glance, abusive words and expressions.

What this means, let's look at an example.

Let's take the word "bitch".

According to Dahl's Big Explanatory Dictionary, this word means the following: "the corpse of a dead animal, cattle; carrion, carrion, dead, burned cattle."

But there is also a figurative meaning given by Dahl: a grumpy, scandalous, intolerant woman.

Today, the meaning of the word has undergone significant changes. Today, when we say the word "bitch", we mean a femme fatale who skillfully manipulates men and gets everything she needs from them.

The influence of the mat on a person

In addition, there is a version that checkmate is nothing but pagan spells. Allegedly, they were pronounced with the aim of stopping the human race or causing significant harm to it.

Have you ever thought about the fact that most of these bad words refer to the names of the genitals, as well as the physical proximity of two people?

This means that if you utter swear words, you attract negative energy to your reproductive function.

There is an opinion that in the future this can lead to serious diseases of the reproductive system and cause infertility and impotence.

Being among people cursing obscenities is not only unpleasant, but also harmful. The energy of bad words also negatively affects people's health.

Women especially need to be careful with their expressions. After all, over time, hormonal disorders can occur in her body. Then the amount of male sex hormones will creep up, and she will simply cease to be a woman and become like a male.

It is likely that there may even be problems with conception and childbirth.

It is also worth noting that even when you swear to yourself, it harms your body. After all, the same negative energy accumulates inside you.

What happens when you utter swear words, and why can they negatively affect your health?

The fact is that our body is 80 percent water.

Emoto Masaru about water

And one of the properties of water is the memorization of information. This is exactly what Japanese scientist Masaru Emoto thinks.

A few years ago, Masaru experimentally proved that words, sounds and actions can affect the structure of water and change it dramatically.

Here are pictures of ordinary drinking water that we use daily.

These four images represent the molecular structure of four water samples after exposure to external factors.

Dr. Emoto, a brilliant scientist, ran some tests on water samples. As a result of the study, you can notice the difference in the molecular structure, which is clearly visible in the photographs.

What exactly did Dr. Emoto do with the water?

The scientist simply spoke some words and phrases, standing next to each sample, and miracles suddenly began to happen to the water. After the words were spoken, she changed her structure before our eyes!

The first sample is ordinary water that we drink.

Read also:10 Amazing Fluid Experiments

Second painting- the same sample, only after Emoto, who was standing nearby, loudly uttered pleasant positive words.

Third painting- this is the structure of the sample after the scientist said the phrase "you make me sick."

Fourth picture- the molecular structure of water after heavy rock music was played loudly in the room where the experiment was carried out.

Since these words and phrases were spoken in Japanese, this means that the energy of the speaking person is responsible for changing the structure of water. After all, water cannot speak and understand Japanese.

Bad words negatively affect the structure of water, while good words, praise, classical music and prayers help to make water crystals purer and more beautiful. They are able to improve its properties.

But heavy music, swear words and phrases, or just words with a negative meaning, have a negative effect on water.

All this charges it with negative energy, as a result of which the following happens:

when we swear, the structure of water is destroyed, it becomes unusable, in some cases turning into a real poison.

At this point, it is important to remember that more than 70 percent of our body consists of water. This means that our body also feeds on what we say and what we hear from others.

Wrong words can poison your mood

The power given to the word

When a person pronounces at least one word, through this word he also transfers his energy to you. If the person's energy was negative, then it is likely that you will be affected by the person's words, as the water in your body will absorb that energy.

That is, you will also be saturated with this negative energy.

If a person swears all the time, then they will probably send you a lot of negative energy, even if the swear words are not meant for you.

The impact of the mat on human health

Approximately the same thing happens when a person swears. The negative energy of the mat is very destructive not only for the mental state, but also for the physical health of a person.

It is terrible to imagine what happens to our health when every day we hear streams of obscene abuse. And if, moreover, we ourselves use these words, then our body is destroyed with a vengeance.

Mat destroys DNA

The negative impact of obscene and bad words is also proved by other scientists.

So, for example, at the end of the 20th century, specialists from the Institute of the Russian Academy of Sciences undertook a study that proves that the effect of swear words on DNA molecules is the strongest.

During the experiment, a special device monitored electromagnetic impulses that came from spoken words and phrases.

As an experimental object, not a person was chosen, but the seeds of some plants. They were planted in pots and placed in a room with a tape recorder. During the day, the tape recording reproduced swear words and phrases.

This continued until the time came when the seeds were supposed to sprout. But that didn't happen...

What happened to the seeds?

Most of them did not rise, and some of them, although they managed to do this, they all had serious genetic abnormalities. This experience also proves the negative impact and destructive power of the mat on a living organism.

Now imagine that approximately the same thing happens with human health.

Obscene and abusive expressions can lead to genetic abnormalities. In other words, the mat promotes disease and prevents the birth of a healthy person.

This explains why swearing is especially harmful to women who want to become mothers.

The influence of a mat on a person's life

In addition, swearing has a devastating effect on our lives. After all, many of us believe that words and thoughts are material. That is, everything that we say and think about, we safely attract into our lives.

And indeed it is.

This is confirmed by the examples of successful, happy and rich people. The main secret of the success of most of them is the right positive thinking and kind words.

The more we focus our attention on something negative, complain, quarrel, get angry, argue and get annoyed, the more negative we get into our lives.

Indeed, by acting in this way, we unconsciously attract a series of bad events into our lives.

If we stop using swear words and negative words in conversation, we will set foot on a better path, opening doors to goodness, luck and happiness.

Why cursing is bad

So, summing up, it is necessary to highlight the following important points explaining why swearing is bad:

1. The negative impact of the mat on human health

Using obscene and abusive expressions in your speech, you put the genitourinary system at risk.

This warning applies to both men and women. Also, do not be in the company of people who swear. It also leads to health problems and adversely affects well-being.

From a scientific point of view, such a negative effect of the mat is due to the fact that we are more than 70 percent water. And she, as you know, has the ability to absorb and "remember" everything that she "hears".

2. Mat has a destructive effect on human DNA molecules

Therefore, if you swear during pregnancy, it can be dangerous for the unborn child and for yourself.

If you want to avoid illness and serious disorders in the health of the child, you should stop using profanity and focus more on positive things.

After all, the mat, indeed, carries a real threat.

3. Cursing, swearing and negative emotions negatively affect other aspects of a person's life

Bad words, swear words, and similar things with negative energy, respectively, attract negative things into our lives.

A person may begin material problems, problems at work, personal life worsens.

4. Cursing is bad from a religious point of view

In addition, we have not touched on the religious aspect. Of course, according to the church, foul language is a great sin that a person commits by uttering words that are objectionable to God.

So the advice would be:

If you are cursing, at least for a while, stop doing it. Pay attention to the changes that will follow after the rejection of the checkmate.

Perhaps they will not happen immediately and not as quickly as you would like. But believe me, they will be obvious. You will feel how your well-being improves, and things will go uphill.

Using swear words is as bad a habit as drinking or smoking. And it is also not easy to eradicate. But this is exactly the amount of effort expended.

Loving a man who don't give a fuck about me is my style, yeah...

There are a lot of good people in the world, but I always communicate with the fuckers, it's more interesting with them

And in a white dress and veil, I go with flowers to the altar, and my father shouts after me Anton bl ** don’t dishonor the family!

Who said you need a valid reason to hate? None of that.

If the cat flies ass-first over the fence, it means that he blew something off the table.

Even a billion hearts under your ava won't fix the flaws of nature on your fuck

Short about me - f*ck brains and fuck a lot

At home they say: "Leave your nerves at work!" At work: "Leave your nerves at home!". Fuck, where to leave the nerves?

I respect the ocean. He takes lives and he doesn't give a fuck.

They say when you start to give a fuck about a person, he begins to understand what he has lost. So let the f**k rule the world. Everyone will be happy.

The hedgehog came out of the fog, ran out of marijuana, he suddenly found hemp, and went into the fog again!

And again I step into the bottomless heights, with a huge poster ... "Fuck it all."

RUSSIAN MAT

Every person in Russia from early childhood begins to hear words that he calls obscene, obscene, obscene. Even if a child grows up in a family where swearing is not used, he still hears it on the street, becomes interested in the meaning of these words, and pretty soon his peers interpret swear words and expressions for him. In Russia, attempts have been repeatedly made to combat the use of obscene words, fines have been introduced for swearing in public places, but to no avail. There is an opinion that swearing in Russia flourishes due to the low cultural level of the population, however, I can name many names of highly cultured people of the past and present, who belonged and belong to the most highly intelligent and cultured elite and at the same time are big swearers in everyday life and not shy away from obscenities in their works. I do not justify them and do not urge everyone to use the mat. God forbid! I am categorically against swearing in public places, against the use of obscene words in works of art, and especially on television. However, the mat exists, lives and is not going to die, no matter how we protest against its use. And you don't have to be hypocrites, close your eyes, you need to study this phenomenon both from the psychological side and from the point of view of linguistics.

I started collecting, studying and interpreting swear words as a student in the sixties. The defense of my Ph.D. thesis was held in such secrecy, as if it were about the latest nuclear research, and immediately after the defense of the thesis, the dissertation went into the special libraries of libraries. Later, in the seventies, when I was preparing my doctoral dissertation, it was necessary to clarify some words, and I could not get my dissertation from the Lenin Library without special permission from the authorities. So it was quite recently, when, as in a well-known anecdote, everyone pretended to know diamat, although no one knew him, but everyone knew mat, and pretended not to know him.

Currently, every second writer uses obscene words in his works, we hear swearing from the television screen, but for several years not a single publishing house that I proposed to publish a scientific explanatory dictionary of swear words decided to release it. And only the dictionary, shortened and adapted for a wide range of readers, saw the light of day.

To illustrate the words in this dictionary, I widely used folklore: obscene anecdotes, ditties that have long lived among the people, were often used, but were published in recent years, as well as quotations from the works of the classics of Russian literature from Alexander Pushkin to Alexander Solzhenitsyn. Many quotes are taken from the poems of Sergei Yesenin, Alexander Galich, Alexander Tvardovsky, Vladimir Vysotsky and other poets. Of course, I could not do without the works of Ivan Barkov, without the "Russian cherished tales" by A. I. Afanasyev, without folk obscene songs, poems and poems, without contemporary writers such as Yuz Aleshkovsky and Eduard Limonov. A treasure trove for researchers of Russian swearing is a cycle of hooligan novels by Pyotr Aleshkin, which are almost completely written in obscene words. I could illustrate this dictionary only with quotations from his works.

The dictionary is intended for a wide range of readers: for those who are interested in swear words, for literary editors, for translators from the Russian language, etc.

In this dictionary, I did not indicate in what environment the word functions: whether it refers to criminal jargon, to youth slang, or to jargon of sexual minorities, because the boundaries between them are rather shaky. There are no words that would be used in one environment. I also indicated only the obscene meaning of the word, leaving other, ordinary meanings outside of it.

And the last. You hold in your hands the explanatory dictionary "Russian obscenities"! Remember that it contains only obscene, obscene, obscene words. You will not meet others!

Professor Tatyana Akhmetova.

From the book Great Soviet Encyclopedia (RU) of the author TSB

From the book Winged words author Maksimov Sergey Vasilievich

From the book A Million Meals for Family Dinners. Best Recipes author Agapova O. Yu.

From the book Russian Literature Today. New guide author Chuprinin Sergey Ivanovich

From the book Russian Mat [Explanatory Dictionary] author Russian folklore

From the book Rock Encyclopedia. Popular music in Leningrad-Petersburg, 1965–2005. Volume 3 author Burlaka Andrey Petrovich

From the book Encyclopedia of Dr. Myasnikov about the most important author Myasnikov Alexander Leonidovich

From the author's book

RUSSIAN HOUSE "Magazine for those who still love Russia". It has been published monthly since 1997. The founder is the Russian Culture Foundation with the support of the Moscow Patriarchy. Volume - 64 pages with illustrations. Circulation in 1998 - 30,000 copies. Takes a moderately nationalist position;

From the author's book

RUSSIAN MAT Every person in Russia from early childhood begins to hear words that he calls obscene, obscene, obscene. Even if a child grows up in a family where swearing is not used, he still hears it on the street, becomes interested in the meaning of these words and

From the author's book

7.8. Russian character Once a writer from Russia came to New York and participated in one of the many programs on local television. Of course, the presenter asked him about the mysterious Russian soul and Russian character. The writer illustrated this as follows

Speech is the mark of the mind.
Seneca

The word is an important part of our communication. The word is both a means of transmitting information and an opportunity to express one's attitude to what is happening. A word can support in difficult times and mortally offend. Very often one hears complaints from parents that the child has begun to use “bad words”.

Parents ask how to respond to swear words in their children's vocabulary. And the children themselves, as well as their parents and teachers - educators, are concerned about the problem of nicknames and name-calling. Verbal threats and insults to another person are a manifestation of verbal aggression. It is no coincidence that all laws of the world provide for administrative punishment for foul language in public places.

A TOOL OF REVENGE

The so-called swear words, or indecent ones, sooner or later appear in the vocabulary of every child. The problem of clogging our speech with profanity is regularly discussed in the media. It is said about the predominance of slang and thieves' expressions in modern television and radio programs, in printed materials. It is not surprising that children not only learn about the existence of such words very early, but also begin to use them actively, however, often without understanding what these words mean.

Until the age of 5, a child swears obscenities, mostly unconsciously or to draw attention to himself. At 5-7 years old, children swear, fully understanding that this should not be done, and thereby try to show independence and disagreement. At 8-12 years old, obscene language is used for self-affirmation among friends and in imitation of high school students. At the age of 12-14, swearing ceases to be perceived by a teenager as an effective means of communication and is rarely used, except when in his environment swearing through a word is the norm of communication.

Why do children so willingly and accurately repeat bad expressions?

First of all, they are attracted by the emotionality with which these words are pronounced by others. A swearing person literally exudes boundless self-confidence, his gestures are very expressive, a certain excitement and tension arise around him. Words spoken in such a tone cannot go unnoticed by others.

The child's own observations and educational conversations conducted by relatives lead him to the idea that the ability to insert a strong word into his speech is one of the signs of adulthood. And if parents say that only adults can use such words, then, naturally, a child who wants to be like his elders in everything deliberately uses forbidden expressions in his speech.

Noticing that these words shock others, children begin to use swear words to annoy, tease them. In this case, swear words become a weapon of revenge.

It is useless to scold children for using indecent words or forbid them to use them. This will make the swearing more attractive in the eyes of the child, he will use them, but he will try so that you do not hear it. Then you will learn about the achievements of your child in this area from kindergarten teachers, teachers at school.

Children need to be explained that people use swearing as a last resort, when, out of desperation, they no longer have enough strength and words.

Naturally, in order to avoid the early appearance of "bad words" in the child's vocabulary, adults need to monitor their own speech. Many mature, well-bred people, under the influence of passion, say aloud everything they think about their own mental faculties or about the thing they are doing; sitting behind the wheel of a car, they are very emotionally indignant at the slowness and slowness of drivers and pedestrians. And they express their indignation with the help of rude, harsh expressions. In moments of irritation, emotional, unrestrained children copy someone from their relatives, just repeating the words they have heard many times.

Often the child does not understand what he is saying, or does not understand how insulting and hurtful the words he says are. It should be explained to the child that, in this way, he offends everyone present, that it is simply indecent to use such words.

DON'T ANSWER

If a child asks about the meaning of a particular swear word, you should not evade the answer.

Tell your child: “Yes, there are such words, but it would be better if you first ask about their meaning.” Not all parents are ready for such a free discussion of swear words with a child.

This is good for school children, but for toddlers it is better to tell that the meaning of this word is so indecent that you do not want to pronounce it.

And it’s absolutely not worth doing like Volka from the famous fairy tale by L. Lagin “Old Man Hottabych”. In his hearts, he called Hottabych a “balda”, and when the old man asked what this meant, he explained: “A balda is something like a sage.” And he was very embarrassed when Hottabych publicly addressed him with the words: “Oh, the most excellent bastard in the world!”

Sometimes parents do the same, coming up with "cultural" explanations for swearing.

If the child is interested in why people say such words, say, for example, that people who are unrestrained and ill-mannered say this when they want to offend or anger a person. This explanation, of course, is suitable if he did not hear this word from you. If the child took you at your word, it makes sense to apologize to him, to say that, unfortunately, you could not restrain yourself, you did something bad. Let him know that you are sincerely sorry, and henceforth, of course, try to control yourself.

PEACE, ONLY PEACE

In general, it is difficult to somehow unambiguously relate to swearing: it is also a sign of lack of culture (but the great ones did not disdain swear words, for example Pushkin), it is also a means to prove their independence, adulthood (it’s better than with the help of alcohol, smoking, early sexual relations). Without a strong word, jokes lose all their salt.

Probably, for educational purposes, it is best to explain to the child that there is a time and place for certain words.

Parents should not be afraid of these words, freeze in shock when they hear them from a child, do not deny their existence. It’s better to just make it clear: “I don’t like these words, but I know about their existence and meaning.”

Yes, it’s hard and unpleasant when very young people swear nearby. Sometimes the knowledge and ability to use a swear word is necessary to be recognized as an equal, so as not to get into an awkward situation, naively not to become an object of ridicule. In addition, people swear out of desperation and anger when they really want to hit someone or break something. In this case, swearing is used as a means to "let off steam" and help to cope with negative emotions.

And this is still preferable to physical violence or destructive behavior. Another thing is that it would be better to express everything that has accumulated in solitude. This is what children should be taught.

NAMES AND TEASERS

Name-calling is the most common cause of bullying and fights in kindergarten and elementary school. In a survey: "Why do you not like some children in a group, class?" most often the answers were: “For the fact that he (she) calls names”

Psychologist M.V. Osorina writes that "name calling is always a test of the child's "I" for psychological strength." This is an inevitable, in her opinion, phenomenon in the process of forming a group, when it becomes clear who and what can claim in it.

Here are the main reasons children call each other names:

1. Aggression (conscious desire to offend, annoy, anger a peer)

2. Desire to get attention (of someone you tease or others)

- a game (a teaser perceives name-calling as a fun game, attracting the attention of a peer, not intending to offend him)

- provocation (the teaser is aware that he is insulting his peer, but thus seeks to provoke him into active actions, for example, to force him to chase after himself, to fight)

- a joke (wants not so much to offend a friend as to amuse others)

- self-affirmation (teasing deliberately insults a peer in order to humiliate him and stand out in the eyes of others, "put him in his place", assert a leadership position).

3. Revenge (offended or humiliated child begins to tease the offender, especially if he cannot answer physically, sometimes he does the same out of envy)

4. “Not from evil” (a teasing child does not understand that it is offensive to another, he is used to noting the features of those around him, to identify their characteristic features, for example, by comparing them with animals). Perhaps at home it is customary for him to reward each other with nicknames, and this does not offend anyone.

ABOUT APPEARANCE AND NICKNAMES

Very often, offensive nicknames are stuck to the child because of the peculiarities of his appearance. The words spoken by a peer in the midst of a quarrel: "red", "bespectacled" or "nosy" - sink into the soul of the child, injure him. The child begins to feel inferior, loses self-confidence. But if a person whose opinion the child values (teacher, educator, parents) tells him, as if in between times: “What a beautiful frame you have, it suits you so much, you have become so solid!” Or: “You are like the sun, with your arrival the room becomes brighter”, “You have a Greek profile, you always envied people with such noses, not that I am snub-nosed ...”

Sometimes one such phrase can, if not increase the child's self-esteem, then at least reconcile with the peculiarities of his appearance, which can not always be achieved through long conversations on this topic.

It is necessary to be especially sensitive and attentive with children who have objective grounds for experiences. We are talking about children with various defects in appearance, for example, a noticeable birthmark, lameness, strabismus, etc. In this case, a lot depends on adults - parents can help the child to correctly relate to his shortcoming, and educators and teachers - to stop possible nicknames and bullying in the bud.

The educational goal is not to protect the child from interest and curious looks, but to take his unusualness for granted as a part of his "I" and live with it, not paying attention to it and not making a problem out of it. .

You should not impose on a child stories about Cinderella or the Ugly Duckling as a consolation, but you can talk about the successes of people with a non-standard appearance (actress Whoopi Goldberg, director Woody Allen, etc.).

LEARNING TO RESIST

And if it is almost impossible to avoid the appearance of teasers in the children's team, then it is necessary to deal with them.

Parents and educators should not disregard the situation of children calling each other names. The task of adults is to stop the appearance and use of offensive nicknames. You can talk individually with the instigators, you can talk to all the children in the group or class about this topic.

It is necessary to discuss with the victim why others call names - whether they are offended by him or want to attract his attention.

It is useful to play with the guys in association. Take turns talking about each other, with what objects, animals, seasons they are associated with each other. It is better to start the game in small groups so that everyone can speak out and be in the role of the person being compared. You can discuss why this or that association has arisen. Comparison helps to draw the child's attention to which of his qualities are significant to others.

Parents, if a child complains about being teased, should talk to him about how you can and should respond to hurtful words.

So, what can be done if the child is called names:

1. Do not react in any way (ignore, ignore).

This is quite difficult to do, but, in some cases, effective. Let the child not respond until they turn to him by name, pretend that he does not understand who they are addressing. He will say: “Actually, my name is Vasya. Did you call me?"

2. React outside the box.

A child who calls names always expects to receive a certain reaction from the victim (resentment, anger, etc.), the unusual behavior of the victim can stop aggression. For example, you can agree with the nickname: “Yes, my mother also thinks that I am somewhat similar to an owl, I see better at night, and I like to sleep in the morning.” Or laugh together: “Yes, we have such a surname, so they teased my great-grandfather.”

By the way, parents can talk with their child at home about the fact that often in a team children call names to each other, misrepresenting, distorting surnames. You can remember how they used to call them names, laugh together. Then it will be easier for the child not to be offended by peers - he will be ready for this.

3. Explain yourself.

You can calmly say to a peer who is calling you names: “I am very sorry to hear this”, “Why do you want to offend me?”

4. Do not succumb to provocation.

5. Don't let yourself be manipulated.

Very often, children seek to force their peers to do something with the help of name-calling. For example, everyone knows the “take on weakly” technique. For all intents and purposes, the child is told that he does not do something because he is a "coward", "a slacker", thus putting him before a choice: either he agrees to do what is required of him (often by violating some rules or subjecting him to danger), or will remain in the eyes of those around him as a “squishy” and “coward”.

Of all the situations associated with name-calling, this is probably the most difficult. And here it is very difficult to help a child get out of it with dignity, because it is not easy for an adult to resist the opinion of the majority, especially those with whom you will have to communicate in the future.

In this sense, it is very interesting to discuss with the child the story of V.Yu. Dragunsky “Workers crush the stone”, in which Deniska finally decided to jump from the tower - but not because everyone laughed at him, but because he could not respect himself if he had not done so.

The child's attention should be drawn to the fact that in each specific situation it is necessary not to rush, to weigh all the pros and cons, to understand what is more important - to prove something to others or to maintain self-respect.

6. Reply.

Sometimes it is useful to answer the offender in kind. Do not be a passive victim, but become an equal with the offender.

It may be non-pedagogical to teach this, but sometimes there is no other way out. True, you can answer not with an insult, but with a special excuse.

7. Say goodbye.

According to the observations of M.V. Osorina, it is very important for 5-9-year-old children to be able to shout out an excuse in response to name-calling - a kind of defense against verbal attack.

Knowing such excuses helps not to leave an insult unanswered, to stop the conflict, to keep calm (at least outwardly), to surprise and, accordingly, stop the attacker. The last word, in this case, remains with the victim.

Here are some examples of answers .

1) Black checkout - I have the key,

Who calls names - on himself!

2) Chicky trucks - wall!

(The child puts a barrier between himself and the caller with his hand.)

3) There was a crocodile,

I swallowed your word

And left mine!

4) Whoever calls himself that is called that himself!

5) - Fool!

— Nice to meet you, and my name is Petya.

All excuses should be pronounced in a calm, friendly tone, trying to reduce everything to a joke.

Based on an article by Marina Kravtsova,

newspaper "School Psychologist", No. 15, 2004.

1. M. V. Osorina “The Secret World of Children in the Space of the Adult World”, St. Petersburg, from Rech, 2004