Nuances that you should know if you have a difficult conversation. Etiquette during a conversation

The ability to negotiate is useful not only for those who occupy leadership positions. A well-structured conversation can help in various areas. But the main thing in this art is not the words that you will say, but how you will behave. In this article, 12 tips on how to conduct a conversation in order to win over the interlocutor immediately.

Step 1: Relax

Tension breeds irritability, and irritability is the main enemy of a productive conversation. Studies show that just one minute of relaxation increases brain activity, which is very important for conversation and quick decision making.

Before starting a conversation, do the following:

2. Breathe slowly for 1.5 minutes: inhale for 5 counts, exhale for 5 counts.

3. Now yawn a couple of times and notice if you are relaxed? Rate your degree of relaxation on a 10-point scale. Record the result.

4. Now you need to stretch the muscles of the body. Start with the face: wrinkle and tense all the muscles of the face, and then straighten and relax them. Gently tilt your head from side to side and back and forth. Roll your shoulders. Tighten your arms and legs, count to 10, relax and shake them.

5. Take a few deep breaths. Has your condition improved?

Step 2: Focus on the present moment

When you relax, you are focused on the current moment, not paying attention to what is happening around. The same should be done during the conversation. Turn on your intuition and you will be able to hear all the shades of the speaker's speech, which will convey the emotional meaning of his words, and you will be able to understand at what point the conversation will turn off the path you need.

Step 3. Be quiet more often

Being silent will help you pay more attention to what other people are saying. To develop this skill, try the Bell exercise. On the website, click on the link " Strike the bell"And listen carefully to the sound until it subsides. Do this several times. This will help you learn to focus and be silent when you are listening to someone.

Step 4: Be Positive

Listen to your mood. Are you tired or alert, calm or anxious? Ask yourself: Am I optimistic about this conversation? If you have doubts or worries, it is better to postpone the conversation. If this is not possible, then mentally start it, rehearse, this will help you find words and arguments that will help you achieve your goal.

Step 5: Think about the other person's intentions

For a conversation to be honest and balanced, everyone needs to be open to it and be clear about their values, intentions, and goals. If your intentions don't match those of the person you're trying to do business with, problems are inevitable. Try to find out in advance what your interlocutor would like to receive from the transaction. But be careful, your interlocutor can carefully hide his goals and say what you want to hear.

Step 6. Before the conversation, think of something pleasant.

You need to conduct a conversation with an expression of kindness, understanding and interest on your face. But if you don't really feel like that, fake emotions will look terrible. There is a little secret: before talking, think about something pleasant, remember the people you love and respect. These thoughts will give your look softness, cause a slight half-smile, and such a facial expression will subconsciously cause a sense of trust in you from your interlocutor.

Step 7: Pay attention to non-verbal cues

Always look at the person you are talking to. Stay focused and try not to get distracted by extraneous thoughts. If the interlocutor does not finish something or wants to deceive you, he, of course, will carefully hide it, but for a fraction of a second he can forget himself and give himself away by facial expression or gesture. Of course, you can only find out that he is deceiving you, but, unfortunately, you will not be able to find out the reason for the deception.

Step 8: Be a nice conversationalist

Start the conversation with a compliment that sets her in a friendly tone, and end with a compliment that expresses your gratitude to the interlocutor for the conversation. Of course, compliments should not sound like flattery. So ask yourself the question: what do I really appreciate in this person?

Step 9. Add Warmth to Your Voice

Try to speak in a lower voice. The interlocutor will respond to such a voice with great confidence. When we are angry, when we are excited or frightened, our voice involuntarily sounds higher and sharper, its volume and pace of speech constantly change. Therefore, a low voice will signal to the interlocutor about your calmness and the confidence of the leader.

Step 10 Speak Slower

Slowing down a little helps people understand you better without straining to catch every word, it makes them respect you. It is not easy to learn to speak slowly, because since childhood, many of us chatter. But you have to try, because slow speech calms the interlocutor, while fast speech causes irritation.

Step 11. Brevity is the sister of talent

Break your speech into sections of 30 seconds or even less. No need to build incredible offers. Our brain is able to absorb information well only in micro-portions. Say one or two sentences, and then pause, make sure the person understands you. If he is silent and does not ask questions, you can continue, one or two more sentences and a pause.

Step 12: Listen carefully

Focus your attention on the interlocutor, everything is important for you: his words, their emotional coloring, his gestures and facial expressions. When he pauses, respond to what he said. Remember to listen to your intuition as you speak.

And the last tip: which strengthens the nervous system and helps to relax, this practice will come in handy during boring conversations.

The art of maintaining a conversation can come in handy in the most unexpected situations. At the first meeting, at a secular party, at an interview and even business negotiations that take place in an informal setting. It would seem that it could be easier than talking about all sorts of nonsense. But for some reason, this simple task plunges many of us into a real stupor. And while we are numb, awkwardly silent, convulsively inventing unfunny jokes, all attention is attracted to those who keep themselves in an easy and casual manner. How to learn to have a small talk?

1. Relax

Remember, like in a movie, when the main character in an exciting situation begins to clumsily fold his arms, frantically throw his legs over his legs, straighten his hair or remove invisible fibers from his jacket, trying with all his appearance to show that he is completely and completely relaxed. In order not to become the king of such comedies, learn to relax for real. Some help a couple of deep breaths, others - a couple of glasses of wine. That's just the last resort is better not to overdo it.

2. Dashing trouble start

Where to begin? It’s not about the weather to talk about ... Although the habit of talking with strangers about the weather has a completely reasonable explanation. Psychologists say that it is easiest to start a conversation with neutral topics that are related to the surrounding reality. And this is usually the weather or the place where the event is held. Look around, comment on the interior, the music playing, and maybe even one of the guests who especially attracts everyone's attention.

3. Keep your distance

It's time to remember the school lessons of ethics. The first contact should be made with the eyes. Each person has a personal zone, which it is better for a stranger not to invade. During a conversation, keep your interlocutor at about arm's length. And it is better to refrain from touching, approving pats on the shoulder and other intrusions into personal space that you can allow yourself to communicate with friends and loved ones.

4. Homework

Well, we discussed the weather and a wonderful evening in a purple sunset, what's next? Oftentimes, people get stuck in the initial stages of a conversation. If no one can develop the dialogue further, awkward long pauses begin, unfunny jokes are used, but they only aggravate the situation. What to talk about later, after the weather? It is worth preparing for this stage in advance. If you are going to an exhibition of paintings, then it would not be superfluous to spend at least 30 minutes studying the subject of the exhibition. Several little-known facts can be presented to the interlocutor along with the phrase: “Have you heard that ...” and the continuation of the conversation will not take long. Facts are usually followed by an exchange of opinions and impressions. Thus, you can find a lot in common with the interlocutor.

5. Looking for common ground

By the way, it is the search for common themes, common interests, habits and passions that is the main key to establishing a good first impression. Remember how easy it is for young mothers or football fans of the same club to find contact, and with what ease two airborne officers find each other in an unfamiliar company! People like coincidences, and we feel much more comfortable in the company of the same, as they say, “our” people.

6. Avoid conflict

When starting a conversation, you should remember that there is a certain list of taboo topics. Indeed, in any large company there will always be both supporters and opponents of, say, a particular hockey club, slot machines, Orthodox fasting, etc. Therefore, in order not to get into trouble and not cause a furious dispute, smoothly turning into a scuffle, in order not to be in the center of a scandal and not ruin your evening, it is better to avoid topics such as politics, religion, reforms, war, and the like.

7. Technique secular bloodhound

Imagine yourself for a while as a true detective. Listening carefully to every word of your interlocutor, look for clear clues that will point you to his favorite topics of conversation. Having sensed the right trace, you can easily unravel the tangle of conversation, developing the threads of your interlocutor's favorite topics.

8. Not a day without news

Make it a rule not to leave the house without fresh news. The Internet space today allows you to be a well-versed interlocutor in almost any field. Only when you go looking for news, go to trusted sites so that the news is true, not fictional. But gossip is best left at home.

9. Don't Clog the Ether

Some of us are so terribly afraid of drowning the conversation with silence that we begin to non-stop commenting on everything we see and hear. And some, in their unceremonious brilliance, go even further - they begin to “shoot” jokes like a machine gun. But talkers usually get tired quickly, and endless jokes and witticisms in an unfamiliar company can look inappropriate and stupid. But a grateful listener is loved by almost all strangers. So keep that in mind and be able to strike a delicate balance between silence and chatter.

10. Change direction

It also happens that not you, but someone imposes their society and topics of conversation on you. For 5 minutes, you can still endure stories about the deep meaning of a large inkblot on a white sheet, but if the degree of patience goes off scale, then it becomes necessary to gently get rid of an unpleasant interlocutor. In this case, the phrase “Excuse me, I need to find one person” is perfect for leaving. But you can use another technique - to turn the tide of history and gently transfer the conversation to a topic of interest to you. Then the annoying interlocutor can leave himself.

Small Talk Generator

Recently, a comic small talk generator or a real nonsense generator, as it is also called, has appeared on the Internet. You enter any word into the window and the program produces an incoherent tirade of nonsense with the addition of the entered word. A joke, of course, but you yourself know what is in every joke.

If you feel that an eloquent talker is not about you, and it’s not given to you to shine in public with eloquent grandiloquent arguments, then perhaps the following thought will console you: empty gossips can often wag their tongues at social events for hours, who elegantly merge into any company and so same elegantly and lightning fast, these same companies are changing. While many truly bright personalities often hang out in public. Great scientists, writers, and even statesmen have often felt like little children when it was necessary to talk at ease about nonsense in secular society.

In general, probably, the main secret of charm in relation to any situation lies in only one thing - in naturalness. Freeing your mind from prejudices and stereotypes is the only way to be an interesting person, regardless of the company and society.

Ask thoughtful questions. It only takes two to have a good conversation. For your part, do your best to keep the conversation interesting. To do this, you can ask questions, thanks to which your conversation will be relaxed.

Ask questions that cannot be answered in one word. Instead of saying "Today is a wonderful day, isn't it?" ask "How are you planning to spend this wonderful day?" To the first question, the person may answer "yes" or "no", which may mean that the conversation has reached an impasse. Ask questions that your interlocutor cannot answer in one word.
Ask questions that help you understand the other person's point of view. If you don't fully understand what your teenage daughter wants, you can say, “You said you lacked freedom, and I can see that you're upset about it. What can we do to find a way out that suits both you and dad and me?”

Learn to be an active listener. Being an active listener means taking an active part in the conversation, answering the interlocutor's questions and asking him your own. You can show that you are an active listener with gestures and words. If your interlocutor sees that you are listening carefully to him, he will feel that he is valued and respected, and this, in turn, is very important if you want to build an interesting conversation.
- Show the interlocutor that you are interested in his words, using gestures and body language. Maintain eye contact while talking. Also, nod your head when appropriate.
- In addition, you can use expressions that show you are interested in the conversation. You can just say, "How interesting!" Or you can say something like this: “I didn't know that. Can you tell me more about your feelings when you run a marathon?”
- Another way to show that you are listening carefully to the interlocutor is to paraphrase his words. For example, you might say, “It's great that you decided to volunteer in this area. I can see you enjoy learning new things."
- If you want to learn how to actively listen, remember that you need to listen carefully to what your interlocutor says and think about it. Instead of sitting and trying to formulate an answer, focus on what is being said and absorb the information.
Be sincere. When talking to a person, show your sincere interest in him. Perhaps you want to get to know your boss better. Most likely, your boss is a very busy person, and he does not have time for simple conversations. Instead of talking about something unimportant, choose a topic that will be appropriate for this occasion. If you are working on a project, you can ask your boss for advice on how to work with a client the right way. Be sincere and show that you value his opinion.
- Perhaps your neighbor has a football team hanging on his house. You could sincerely say, “I noticed the flag on your house. Are you a Zenith fan? This is an easy way to start a conversation. As you get to know the person better, you can discuss other topics too.
Find something in common. If you want to be a good conversationalist, you need to learn to consider the interests of your interlocutor. Start a conversation with a topic that will bring you together. You may have to ask a few questions at the beginning to get along with your interlocutor, but this must be done in order to get a positive result.
- Perhaps you are trying to get to know your sister-in-law better, but you realize that you are very different people. In this case, you can talk about a new TV show or book that you both watched or read. You may find common interests. If you still can't find common themes, talk about what everyone likes. For example, most people love to eat delicious food. Ask her what her favorite food is and keep talking about it.
Stay up to date with the latest news. Follow what is happening in the world. Thanks to this, you will be able to keep up the conversation if someone tries to talk to you about current events. Quickly scan the headlines every morning. Thanks to this, you can become a good conversationalist.
- Another technique that will help you become a good conversationalist is to follow cultural news. A recently released book, movie, or album is a great conversation piece with friends, colleagues, or even random fellow travelers on the way to work.
- Try to avoid controversial topics such as politics or religion if you don't want to cause an argument instead of a pleasant conversation.
Watch your body language. The way you hold and move makes a big difference in face-to-face communication. Eye contact is especially important. This will demonstrate your attention and involvement in the conversation.
- Remember that eye contact does not mean that you have to continuously stare at the other person. Try to maintain eye contact approximately 50% of the time you speak and 70% of the time you listen.
- You can use other non-verbal cues during a conversation. Nod your head to show that you understand what is being said, or smile when a positive reaction is required.
- Also, one should not stand still, like a statue. Move (but not too abruptly or strangely, otherwise the interlocutor may feel awkward or even scared). No one forbids you to see cross-legged if you feel more comfortable, but in general, let your body language indicate that you are interested in talking to a person! Remember that gestures can speak louder than words.
Avoid being too candid. This may confuse you or your interlocutor. You will feel uncomfortable. Often we say something without thinking and almost immediately regret it. Excessive information can put both you and your interlocutor in an awkward position. To avoid being too outspoken, be on the lookout for situations that most often lead to it.

Dialogue is a true art that needs to be learned. So it was in all former times, and does not change to this day. Having mastered this skill, a person opens many new doors for himself, becoming a welcome interlocutor.

To comprehend the science of verbal communication, it is important to master several basic stages.

small talk

Learning to conduct a secular conversation does not hurt anyone. Even if the counterpart has not yet found himself in a situation where you need to speak at a “high” level. This can happen at the most unexpected moment, and the ability to interest a representative of the "high society" will be beneficial.

There is a small note.

Speech etiquette is very important here. In places where a special culture reigns, communication on a daily level is not allowed. Future interlocutors, as a rule, introduce themselves to each other, calling themselves by their full names and indicating some facts about themselves.
The name and patronymic are pronounced so that the interlocutors address each other during the conversation. Noticing that the person did not remember it right away, you can gently remind him.
Words are only half of the image, actions are no less important. It is necessary to keep open, taking a relaxed posture. It is not recommended to cross your palms, scratch your nose and neck. All these gestures will tell the interlocutor about tightness and a low degree of frankness.
The best topic for discussion is one of the facts that became known when we met. According to etiquette, something common, definitely interesting to both, is suitable. You should be careful here - controversial issues can lead to a quarrel.

During a conversation with a previously unfamiliar person, one should not raise too banal topics. It is important to try to carefully understand what interests the interlocutor pursues so that he himself can speak about them. Observing the conversation, noticing turns of speech, personal conclusions about the degree of knowledge and the number of interests - all this will help to understand the person and determine the topic for communication.

If you want to leave behind only positive emotions, you need to learn how to give pleasure to the entire conversational process. To do this, you should use a personal interesting story, somehow related to the chosen topic, telling it and getting acquainted with the prevailing opinion of the interlocutor.

The conversation should not turn into a one-sided lecture, and it is important to make parting as polite and delicate as possible.

Competent construction of sentences, beautiful formulation of one's own thoughts, fluency and clarity of speech - without this it is almost impossible to conduct a constructive, pleasant dialogue. Each of the aspects will help to increase the effectiveness of communication, for example, at work. You cannot do without these skills when organizing and holding events on your own.

Secrets of pleasant communication

Being a good conversationalist for strangers is not as difficult as it seems. You just need to remember a few rules:

eye contact with a person during a conversation will show him the significance of the ongoing dialogue and interest in it;
even one smile can give positive emotions and contribute to relaxation;
maintaining a conversation: the dialogue must be continued for some time, even if the topic of conversation of one of the parties turned out to be uninteresting - do not forget to be polite;
a raised tone is unlikely to lead to good impressions, but it’s better not to speak in a “loud whisper” either;
using a person's name when communicating will positively affect him psychologically at a subconscious level;
you can interrupt the interlocutor during his speech only by accident, in no case on purpose, otherwise it will leave a negative mark;
correctly express their own opinion only after the completion of a certain phrase of the counterpart;
it is recommended to get rid of the habit of boasting, if any, as soon as possible, because no one likes such a character trait;
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion as long as it doesn't turn into an insult.

Simplicity is the key to pleasant communication

It happens that after a conversation with a particular person you feel uncomfortable. In order not to become one of these, it is enough to remember some things.

The main thing is to be yourself, no matter what the circumstances are. You can not renounce your own personality, worthy of respect.
If the interlocutor directly asks for advice on any issue, you should not answer the first phrase that comes to mind. It is better to take a little time to think about the situation and decide if there is an opportunity to help. If it is not there, let the person immediately find out about it, because in this case he will only be grateful for the attention and sincerity shown.
By constantly putting yourself above others, you will not achieve anything good, even in reality having such superiority. It is much more pleasant to help relatives and those in need to the best of their ability, then people themselves will be drawn to you.
There is nothing wrong with getting tired of dialogue, for example, with an annoying and unpleasant person. In this case, it is better to say this directly, so as not to be a hypocrite.

Why is it that some people can easily make acquaintances, while other people are very reserved and do not know how to do this? After all, we are all born with the same abilities: we cannot walk, talk, meet people, etc. As children, we fully express ourselves and have fun. Some people keep this inner fuse from childhood, while others lose it under the influence of the environment. What to do with it? How to regain your former self-confidence and learn how to communicate with people? We'll tell you in the article.

Why you should make friends and connect with people

Do you think the environment influences us a lot? Remember how carefree we were as children and how easy it was to make acquaintances. But then they began to unconsciously learn from others and the media how to behave “correctly.” How much have we changed? 100%, with rare exceptions. The environment has a huge impact on us. As one popular business consultant says:

“Show me the 5 people you spend the most time with and I'll tell you how rich you are ” .

The same applies to health, relationships, educational attainment, and other areas of life. Therefore, it is very important to know how to communicate with new people in order to make acquaintances with those who will be useful to you and make your life better.

Of course, you can resist the influence of the environment. But still, the people with whom you spend your time influence and change us more strongly. And that is why you need to choose the environment yourself, and not leave everything to chance.

Why do we sometimes have “nothing to say”

Sometimes the question arises: “How to start communicating with new people if I don’t know what to say to them after “Hello!””. We have all faced this problem. We want to make a positive impression on a person, but all words and thoughts seem to evaporate. Because of this, we experience discomfort and feel somehow “wrong”.

In fact, we always have something to say. It is the fears that block your communication skill. Out of fear, we limit the topics we can talk about to:

Don't seem stupid
Do not offend the interlocutor
Do not make a negative impression of yourself, etc.

As a result, it turns out that we either cannot say anything at all, or we utter mediocre questions like “How are you?” or “How was your day?” which don't really mean anything. They are given simply to fill the void.

But let go of those inhibitions and let the conversation go in an unknown direction. Do you know what kind of conversation goes on a straight line? Boring. So just talk about whatever comes to mind. Ask questions and then it is important not to speak yourself, but it is much more important to be able to listen to your interlocutor. Remove all blocks! Even if you accidentally offend the interlocutor, there is always the opportunity to sincerely apologize.

Don't be afraid to lead the conversation in your direction

How to communicate with new people? The way you want it: you can listen to the interlocutor, or you can conduct the conversation yourself. If everything is simple with the first option, then what about the second? What does it mean to have a conversation and how to do it effectively?

Let's talk about it.

Are you interested in listening to people who talk passionately about something? Surely yes. Usually we are infected with the enthusiasm and energy that these people radiate when talking about their favorite topics. Even if initially the topic was not too interesting for us.

Therefore, if you want to seize the initiative in a conversation and lead it in your direction, feel free to do it. Unobtrusively move the conversation in the direction that you are interested in, and enthusiastically talk about it.

Where to get topics for an interesting conversation?

The most interesting conversation happens when you don’t know at all what you will talk about with a person. Because such a conversation is like a roller coaster: it rises sharply up, then flies down, and then turns sharply to the right at great speed. This is not the same as having a boring conversation according to a plan.

But how to communicate with people to make it interesting? Where to get topics for conversation? And how to develop a conversation in an interesting and exciting direction? How to make contact?

Look around and find something interesting. Let's say you're in a meeting with a lot of people. At such meetings, a huge number of potential interlocutors, so: go up to a stranger or your friend and ask him for what purpose he came here. Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

Recall fascinating stories from life. If you want to be a very interesting conversationalist, memorize some of them. At the same time, having worked out pauses in the right places, a change in intonation, and so on. When you start a conversation, you will be less worried.

Ask yourself a question: what could I ask the interlocutor. And try to repeat it until you find something interesting. Our brain is designed in such a way that initially it gives the most simple and obvious solutions, but over time it starts to dig deeper and deeper. By using this question, you will be able to have a meaningful dialogue.

As a last resort, use standard questions: movies, music, sports, etc. These topics can also be developed in an interesting direction.

How to develop a conversation and make it interesting? Listen to the interlocutor and ask about the details of the story, you can ask clarifying questions. It's all about the details - that's usually the most interesting thing. In addition, you will show the person that you are listening carefully, and not just standing in front of him and nodding. The ability to listen and hear your interlocutor will give you a bunch of topics for communication with a new interlocutor.

How to make friends with strangers

What to talk about, we talked above now a little practice. How to start communicating with people, making acquaintances at work, school, various events or just on the street? How to appear attractive to other people?

There are several rules for this:

Use not only words, but also voice intonation, facial expressions and body language

Agree, it is much more interesting to communicate with a person who, in the course of a conversation:

speaks loudly
changes the intonation of the voice in interesting and significant places in the story,
uses hands to show something
and openly expresses emotions on the face through facial expressions.

Pay attention to this important skill, it will greatly improve your speech. By applying these simple tips, you will be able to conduct a dialogue in a more lively and interesting way than those who speak monotonously and are in tight poses. Such active people willingly make acquaintances.

smile

Everyone likes to see sincere smiles on the faces of people around them. Smiling requires you to make an emotional an investment in the conversation, but you will be rewarded.

Therefore, making acquaintances, smile more often - this way your appearance will seem more friendly to others, and they are unlikely to refuse to get to know you.

Talk to strangers as if you were talking to your loved ones

Don't tense up when you want to talk to a stranger. Imagine that you have known him for a long time. Think it's weird? But put yourself in his place: would you really be pleased if people around you were afraid of you and nervous when talking to you? Of course not. And the people around you don't want that either.

Making eye contact will help you succeed in a conversation.

Look the other person in the eye when you are talking. Just occasionally look away so it doesn't look weird.

In order to make an acquaintance, you can use a few more reasons:

discuss the purpose of the meeting (if you are at the event);
find out how the company is doing
what kind of people are here (if you are the first day at work);
what brought your interlocutor to this educational institution (if studying).

Do not ask the question “How to communicate with people properly”. He is unfaithful in himself. After all, there are no prohibitions and right ways to develop a conversation.

Just be active: constantly communicate with new people. Then you will have an interesting social circle, and you will develop your communication skills.

How to stop being afraid of public opinion

Why can't we make acquaintances and just chat with a stranger? This can happen during your first day at school or work, while attending an event, or just while walking if you meet an attractive man or woman that you would like to meet.

As soon as we have the desire to go and talk to a person, we are attacked by thoughts like this:

What if this person refuses to meet me?
What if I look insecure?
What if I have nothing to say, etc.

In order to remove these thoughts, you need to know a little psychology of communication. Namely: how to stop being afraid of the opinions of others.

No one wants to look insecure, but the problem is that if you think about it all the time, that's exactly what you will look like.

What to do with it?

Go towards your fear and understand that nothing bad will happen to you. No one will beat you for trying to get to know each other, will not remember every day and laugh at the stupidity that you said or something else.

When you make enough attempts to get to know each other and realize that the opinions of others mean nothing - and that no one thinks of you - you will relax and your fears will simply disappear. You will become a confident person and can easily start a conversation with anyone.

No one will film your unsuccessful attempts to meet you on your phone and post them on the Internet. No one will tell this to your acquaintances and friends. Because the focus of each person is on himself. You are the center of attention for yourself. And each person is exactly the same center of attention for himself. We are preoccupied with our problems and we do not care about judging other people.

“All people think that those around them evaluate them. But this is an illusion: everyone is preoccupied with themselves and does not think about you. ” .

On the one hand, it may seem a little sad that no one cares about you. But look at it the other way: you can do whatever you want. Meet and calmly communicate with new people if you want to. Many will enjoy your company.

Exercises to erase the fear of public opinion

Your fear of communication is your "monster". Only when you get rid of this “monster”, which takes away all the topics for conversation from you and makes you feel uncomfortable, will you start to easily meet new people.

It is important for you to create the right attitude towards other people. What exercises will help you with this?

When walking down the street, say "Hello" or "Hello" to strangers.

If the first exercise is too easy for you, ask people for time or directions.

Compliment strangers. You can stop them by saying something like: “Hello! Please stop for a second. I wanted to say that you have a great style!” . Then you can wish you a good day and just move on. Remember that by doing this you are not doing anything bad to a person, but on the contrary, you can cheer him up.

If these exercises are uncomfortable for you, then they must be performed. Why? Because, first of all, it will show you that most people are friendly and don't mind chatting with you at all. And secondly, that you have realized your problem and really want to overcome your fears

Of course, not everyone will answer. But the problem is usually not you: most people are so immersed in their thoughts that they don’t hear anything around them. Or they don't have the energy to answer you at all.

So don't worry about being ignored. This is the whole point of the exercise - to feel uncomfortable and understand that nothing bad will happen to you if you talk to strangers. Be a polite and tactful interlocutor, then the maximum that can happen to you is that you will be ignored.

Work on yourself

Constant communication is one of the important components of the development of communication skills. But sometimes the problems that make us afraid to communicate can run deeper. Therefore, it is worth working on the following points:

Accept yourself for who you are. If at this moment you cannot change dramatically, then why worry about it? Does being overly concerned help you? Of course not.

Learn to love yourself. The following will help with this:

praise yourself more often
do not let the control of your self-esteem into the wrong hands;
keep a diary of success in which you write down your every victory

By doing this, you will stop dwelling on your mistakes.

Don't run away from hard work and fear. If you encounter something that you don't think you can overcome, just say to yourself, “Yes, it will be hard, but it's possible. At least I will try and if it fails, I will gain experience in communication.

This will be useful if you want to get to know a person, but one of the fears that we described in previous chapters catches up with you.

Learn to be patient. Communication skills can be developed endlessly. It's like sharpening a sword: no matter how much you sharpen it, it will never be a perfect sharpening.

You have to want to develop the skill of communication, but at the same time don't care about the result. Because it will interfere with your development in communication. Just work on yourself and praise for every achievement: a new acquaintance, a completed exercise, an interesting conversation with someone, etc.

Read more fiction. The more vocabulary you have, the more interesting and competent you will be able to conduct a dialogue. What to read? What you like: you can classics, you can - detective stories, or you can - novels.

The main thing is that reading brings you pleasure - this will help you not to stop and learn how to communicate with strangers.

Learn to be fun and open. Why is it so important? Because by approaching people, the main value that you can give is positive emotions. And they can be called if you are an open and cheerful person.

You can share your failures in conversation and laugh at them - this is one of the best ways to win over the interlocutor and relax.

Completion

The most important thing you should remember about how to learn how to communicate with people is to try to make acquaintances with new people. Reading helpful material like this article is just a helper. You need to be constantly active in order to develop the skill of communication.

keep starting conversations,
be tactful
polite,
smile
take the initiative
keep eye contact
ask questions
most importantly, listen carefully to the interlocutor,
think about him
be uninhibited
move forward and don't expect results.

So forget what other people think of you and learn! Remember, we learn valuable lessons not only from successful attempts, but also from failures. Please share your experience in the comments.