Self-esteem is very important for the formation of personality. If it is objective, and a person from childhood is able to realistically assess his capabilities and place in society, then this is the main step towards a successful life. Initially, children have an impeccable sense of perception of themselves, but over time it undergoes various changes due to the influence of parents and people around them.

Low self-esteem in children and adolescents negatively affects their adaptation in society and becomes a cause of misunderstanding in the family and the team. The child feels constant self-doubt, which contributes to the formation of an inferiority complex.

Signs of self-doubt

Self-esteem is formed under the influence of internal and external factors, including personal achievements, appearance, weight, the social status of parents and the assessment of people around. There are a number of signs by which low self-esteem can be identified, depending on the individual characteristics of a person and his behavior in general:

1. 1. The child always tries to sit on the edge, crosses his legs, that is, deliberately closes himself from the people around him.
2. 2. Often children and adolescents who are insecure are introverts, that is, they direct their emotions inward.
3. 3. There is aggressiveness in dealing with people, since disbelief in one's own strengths gives rise to distrust in others.
4. 4. A painful reaction to any manifestation of criticism, which is expressed in excessive tearfulness.
5. 5. In adolescence, low self-esteem is expressed in excessive self-confidence, which is due to the desire to stand out from the crowd with its originality.
6. 6. Obsessive desire to be the first. Self-confident individuals do not need to prove their individuality and superiority.
7. 7. Untidy appearance, the child does not care how he looks.
8. 8. Quiet slurred speech and the habit of constantly apologizing for no apparent reason.
9. 9. Constant self-flagellation and increased self-criticism to their actions.
10. 10. Hooligan behavior, by humiliating other children, insecure individuals try to increase their self-esteem.

Children with low self-esteem always compare themselves with others, and always in favor of the latter. Against this background, they forbid themselves to rejoice, as they are convinced that they are unworthy of happiness because of their inferiority. In this case, children feel lonely and do not take part in common games or other activities with their peers. Therefore, in the event of conflict situations, they do not find support in the team.

Characteristic signs of self-doubt can occur in children in various combinations or separately.

Main reasons

Experts believe that the causes of low self-esteem in children depend on heredity, upbringing and environment.

At the age of 7 years, the formation of self-esteem occurs under the influence of parents and teachers, so the more children feel care, attention and love in the family, the more confident they will feel in the team. But starting from the age of 12, self-esteem begins to form depending on the attitude of classmates and communication with them.

Each person is individual, but sometimes, due to his heredity, he feels inferior: a congenital disease, disability, type of temperament, mental abilities. All this can form an insolvency complex against the background of peers. Sometimes the cause of low self-esteem is excess weight or a predisposition to be overweight, which leaves a negative imprint on the mind and gives rise to a feeling of inferiority in children.

The costs of upbringing, which contribute to the emergence of low self-esteem, can be expressed both in excessive parental care and in the absence of trusting family relationships, due to which children close themselves and consider themselves the cause of dislike on the part of adults. Often, parents, comparing their child with other children, emphasize that his academic performance is not as good as that of classmates, etc. The child begins to develop self-doubt. As a rule, men and women brought up in this way are not able to instill self-confidence in their children, because they themselves do not understand what it is.

Social contacts of children outside the family with peers, teachers, and acquaintances can also form low self-esteem. Humiliation from classmates, intimidation by teachers lead to depression and cause self-doubt. The opinion of the teacher is especially important for children of primary and secondary school age, when students perceive his words as a common truth.

Most often, children and adolescents who are deprived of parental care due to circumstances are prone to low self-esteem. From early childhood, they consider themselves imperfect and do not perceive themselves as a full-fledged person, considering their existence as a hindrance to others against the backdrop of a sense of defenselessness and lack of support from loved ones.

Ways to increase self-esteem

Low self-esteem is a serious obstacle to achieving goals and further personal development. Its danger lies in the fact that insecure children constantly experience a feeling of fear, guilt and their own inferiority, thereby gradually moving away from the people around them. As a result, already in adulthood, a person feels his emotional and bodily tightness and is embarrassed to express his opinion to others.

Surrounding people unconsciously perceive a person according to his self-esteem. Accordingly, the lower it is, the worse the attitude.

The feeling of low self-esteem in adolescence is especially aggravated against the background of the development of fictitious complexes and shortcomings. If this is not stopped in time and the son or daughter is not explained how to correctly assess their data and capabilities, then a negative imprint can remain for life. During such a period, parents should be especially attentive in order to recognize the problem in time and help the child get rid of internal complexes.

1. 1. Avoid unreasonable criticism when communicating. To point out a mistake to a child, criticism should be directed precisely at his actions.
2. 2. Recognition of the identity of the child. Children should be given the opportunity to make independent decisions, to voice their opinions, to have personal interests.
3. 3. Regular praise. Children need constant approval of their achievements, so they need to be praised as often as possible - this will give them confidence in their own strengths and strengthen their sense of importance in the family. If something does not work out for a student, you should not scold him, it is better to offer help and try to develop his talents in another area.
4. 4. Help in self-realization. Sometimes at school, children cannot fulfill themselves, because they do not fall under the stereotypes of this team. Parents should invite their child to attend any sports section or circle so that he can meet new people and realize himself in another team based on his own interests. In this case, the teenager himself must choose the occupation.
5. 5. Learn to say "no" when necessary. Children with low self-esteem actually do not know how to refuse others, because they want to feel their importance. But sometimes they are simply used for selfish purposes, which has nothing to do with respect. It is necessary to teach the child to say "no" in such situations and help to recognize ill-wishers by discussing the specific case with him.
6. 6. Show support and show respect.

If the problem of low self-esteem persists in a teenager for a long time, then a psychologist or psychotherapist will help get rid of uncertainty. The lack of timely adjustment of behavior can cause an aggravation of the inferiority complex and develop into depression or neuroses.

Adolescent self-esteem is a component of self-consciousness, which includes an assessment of human physical characteristics, moral qualities, abilities, and actions. Self-esteem of a teenager is the central formation of the personality, and also shows the social adaptation of the personality, acting as a regulator of its activities and behavior. However, it should be noted that self-esteem is formed in the process of activity, as well as interpersonal interaction. To a large extent, the formation of a person's self-esteem depends on society. Self-assessment of the personality of a teenager is marked by situationality, instability and is subject to external influences.

How to boost self-esteem as a teenager

Studies of adolescent self-esteem have shown that children with low self-esteem are susceptible to. Moreover, some studies have found that low self-esteem precedes depressive reactions, and also acts as their cause, while other studies note that depressive affect is detected at the beginning, after which it turns into low self-esteem.

Psychologists note that from the age of 8, children show an active ability to assess personal success. The most significant were: appearance, school performance, physical abilities, social acceptance, behavior. Among adolescents, school performance as well as behavior are important for parental assessment, but three others are important for peers.

It is possible to increase a teenager's self-esteem when the child feels social support from the following significant sources: parents, classmates, teachers, friends. When asked where adolescents feel most secure, children answer that they are both in the family and among friends. Research has shown that family support and acceptance of adolescence's aspirations have the greatest impact on overall self-esteem, and that school performance and teacher-related factors are important for self-reported ability.

Psychologists note that the attentive, warm attitude of parents is a necessary condition for the formation and further reinforcement of positive self-esteem of adolescents. The negative, rigid attitude of parents leads to the opposite effect, and adolescents, as a rule, focus on their failures, they have a fear of taking risks, they avoid participation in competitions, rudeness, a high level of anxiety become inherent in them.

How to increase self-esteem of a teenager? Change the attitude towards the child: start communicating with him, using a symmetrical style that is based on partnerships. Such communication forms the child's own self-esteem criteria, because the child's self-esteem is supported both by the respectful attitude of the parents and the evaluation of the effectiveness of his activities.

How to increase self-esteem is an exciting question for many people. Often people underestimate their potential and themselves more often than overestimate. The same is observed in children. Due to low self-esteem, children can miss out on many opportunities.

The formation of self-esteem in adolescents begins with family education. Self-esteem is the main regulator of personality behavior. Criticality, interpersonal relationships, exactingness, attitude to one's failures and successes depend on it. Teenagers, having doubts, waste personal time, as well as lose opportunities for personal development and growth. It would seem that the awareness and understanding of this truth should only spur on the realization of the inherent potential. But everything usually happens the other way around, since such behavior is more beneficial for the child in the short term. By convincing himself that solving difficult problems is impossible, the child is protected from the emergence of negative emotions associated with possible failures. Self-doubt oppresses the child both spiritually and physically. A teenager quickly gets tired, feels exhausted. As a result, the following happens: doubts about personal strength are provoked by the fact that simple things previously performed become unbearable.

It is possible to increase a teenager's self-esteem, but this will require certain efforts, both from parents and from the child himself:

- teach your child to stop comparing himself with someone, there will always be someone better than him, who will be difficult to surpass;

- explain to the teenager that scolding himself, eating, he will only worsen his well-being;

- teach your child to respond to all praises, compliments, thank you;

- encourage your child for small successes and praise for big achievements;

- teach your child to repeat positive affirmations that will lead to increased self-esteem and increase confidence;

- in dealing with a teenager, always be positive, optimistic, support him in any endeavors;

- to increase self-esteem, it is necessary to study books on this topic together with the child, watch videos, attend training seminars, listen to audio recordings; any learned information will not pass by the brain, and the dominant information will affect the child and, as a result, the behavior will gain confidence; all positive settings will tune only in a positive way, but negative ones, on the contrary. Therefore, direct the teenager's attention to watching TV, as well as reading books with a positive orientation;

- be sure to find a common language with the child, a heart-to-heart talk with your child will help instill confidence in the child before a difficult undertaking, as well as solving the problem;

- always listen to your child and be able to read his state, feelings by facial expressions, sometimes children hide their problems, trying to solve everything on their own, it is very important not to miss such moments so that he does not make mistakes, therefore it is very important to always be a friend to your child;

- support the child in his hobbies, hobbies, because it is from what is better that self-esteem grows, because it brings joy and pleasure;

- sometimes a desirable gadget, fashionable clothes can help your child establish himself among his peers and thereby raise self-esteem, do not push away the child's requests for a significant purchase for him;

- teach your child to live in such a way that you do not have to look back at anyone, let the child make decisions at a crucial moment, and you will always support him, even if there are mistakes.

How to raise a teenager's self-esteem? Self-esteem will rise when a positive attitude, love and self-respect grow, and sad thoughts, procrastination will increase insecurity and lower self-esteem. Psychologists have noticed that the mechanism of self-esteem is based on emotional experiences that accompany the activities of a teenager.

The level of self-esteem of adolescents significantly affects both the qualitative indicators of intellectual activity and the time it takes to complete it, especially if emotional factors are noted in the situation: stress of failure, responsibility for the quality of activity.

Adequate self-esteem of a teenager

Many researchers note that an increase in the adequacy of a child's self-esteem occurs in adolescence. This is explained by the fact that adolescents rate themselves much lower on the criteria that are most important to them, and this decline speaks of great realism. The number of qualities that an older teenager realizes in himself is twice the qualities inherent in a younger student. High school students, evaluating themselves, cover all aspects of their own personality, and their self-esteem turns into a more generalized one. In addition, judgments regarding their shortcomings are improved.

Adolescents are able to convey their mood, a sense of the joy of being, they reveal themselves in educational activities, in their favorite activities, interests, hobbies. Adolescents are oriented towards ideal self-esteem, but the gap between their ideal and real self-esteem for most of them is a traumatic factor. Psychologists have noticed that the following moral traits often prevail in the content of adolescent self-esteem: honesty, kindness, justice. A high level of teenage self-criticism allows you to recognize your negative qualities and realize the need to get rid of them.

During adolescence, an adult takes a very special place in the life of a child. This is due to the specifics of adolescents' perception of the appearance of other people. And already because of the perception, as well as understanding of another person, a teenager understands himself. Psychologists say that for adolescents, in the image of a perceived person, the elements of appearance, physical features, and then the hairstyle, expressive behavior are mainly. With age, the adequacy and volume of the evaluated signs increase in children; the range of concepts and categories used is expanding; the categoricalness of judgments decreases, and also there is a greater versatility and flexibility.

During adolescence, overall self-esteem in girls is significantly lower than in boys. This trend is directly related to self-esteem of appearance.

Self-assessment of the personality of a teenager

It is known that normal self-esteem can be formed in a team where there is equally approval and constructive criticism. It is very important to realize that the inquisitive mind of a child, on the basis of personal relationships with others, cognizes the world, and is also aware of its exceptional individuality. Getting into a complex social group, a teenager has a desire to have a certain position in the system of personal relationships. If a teenager fails to integrate into the structure of the team, then children often experience their failure hard, but unlike adults, they try to fix everything. Such difficulties in adolescents are most acute.

Manners of upbringing, living conditions, social origin - in their own way influence the realization of the desire for communication. It follows from this that the satisfaction of the need for communication is realized differently by different children. According to a number of signs, feeling its inadequacy, a teenager's self-esteem undergoes a negative transformation.

Each teenager in the team has their own unique situations that form a psycho-emotional image, containing an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bhis personality. Developing a teenager's self-esteem can help avoid internal conflicts. A teenager embarks on the path of antisocial behavior during the period of searching for a place in life and society. This period is characterized by not fully formed moral positions. This period includes adolescence, when there is an internal rebellion, turning into an external challenge. If this protest is not detected in due time, and if teenage energy with raging hormones is not directed in the right direction, then you can get a lot of trouble. Of great importance in determining the path of life is the support of loved ones, as well as self-confidence.

If a child feels useless, as well as useless to society and parents, then all moral and ethical standards and social institutions will not lure him "to the side of the world." Thus, society receives a destructive teenager.

In this situation, a confidential conversation, as well as a normal self-esteem formed in time, will help to avoid problems in the transition period.

Self-esteem is a set of a person's ideas about various properties of his own personality, such as the presence of personal achievements, advantages, disadvantages and their significance, etc. As a rule, these qualities are perceived in relation or comparison with similar qualities of other people. Inflated self-esteem of a person is a mental state characterized by an inadequately positive self-image of a person.

What is self-esteem?

One of the main properties of a personality is the formation of a system of ideas of an individual about himself, which may include an assessment of his own actions, appearance, perception of certain shortcomings and advantages, etc. Such attitudes in their totality perform 3 functions:

• personal development. A particular type of self-esteem encourages an individual to improve certain skills. If certain qualities are perceived as highly developed, no effort is made to develop them. Alternatively, a person considers himself ideal, therefore he completely denies the need for self-improvement;
• protective. An assessment of the relevant personal qualities to a certain extent warns a person against rash acts. For example, if he understands that he will not be able to cope with a certain amount of work, he will not take on such obligations. Also, a set of stable ideas about one's own qualities prevents the deformation of the personality under the influence of the external environment and the behavior of other people;
• regulatory. A person makes a significant part of his decisions depending on his ideas about himself. So, on the basis of a conditional list of the most developed qualities, a future profession is selected.

People with high self-esteem experience difficulties in communication, and the resolution of everyday tasks sometimes takes more strength from them, which ultimately can lead to psycho-emotional exhaustion, neurotic or mental disorder.

Why is high self-esteem dangerous?

A number of studies show that many successful businessmen, politicians, public figures unreasonably positively assess their personal qualities. To a certain extent, the typical model of behavior in such life situations is understandable - while others meticulously examine all aspects of the problem, a person with high self-esteem instantly begins to solve it. However, much more often the overestimation of one's own potential leads to negative consequences:

• for the individual there is only one correct point of view - his own. However, even a highly educated person with excellent business acumen is often mistaken. It is possible to minimize the risk of failure only with a rational study of the issue;
• a person with high self-esteem may take on tasks that he will never be able to solve because he does not have the appropriate qualifications, personal qualities or other resources necessary for this. Repeated disruption of work projects gradually leads to professional degradation and career destruction;
• a person ceases to take into account the importance of other people. He demonstrates disdain for others, insults them in various forms. Such behavior inevitably destroys social bonds and regularly provokes conflicts;
• the individual denies the need for self-improvement (completely or in relation to certain qualities). In the future, this leads to personal and professional degradation;
• any criticism is perceived extremely painfully and provokes reciprocal aggression.

Since most of the acts of communication of a person with high self-esteem are accompanied by acute conflicts, psycho-emotional exhaustion gradually sets in. This can lead to the development of dangerous diseases, mental and neurotic disorders. At the same time, social ties are destroyed (a person loses friends, a partner, cannot start new relationships), the professional qualities of an individual degrade.

A person with high self-esteem is always confident in his actions, which can be a help in professional development. On the other hand, often self-confidence has no real ground, so the individual overestimates his abilities when taking on any business. In any case, the problem of high self-esteem lies in severe disappointment and even depressive states that develop when the expected result does not occur.

Manifestations of high self-esteem

Depending on the degree of manifestation and accompanying signs, inflated self-esteem may indicate:

• individual character traits. In this case, inflated self-esteem does not distort the perception of reality in such a way as to entail too destructive consequences;
• narcissistic character accentuation. Inflated self-esteem significantly complicates everyday life;
• narcissistic personality disorder. A person is convinced of his own uniqueness, chosenness, the presence of outstanding achievements and talents. At the same time, he completely denies the existing rules, all his activities are aimed at seeking the admiration of others. Also in psychiatry, narcissistic trauma is distinguished, which occurs as a result of prolonged communication with a person suffering from a narcissistic disorder. It is characterized by the desire to maintain a sense of its own supersignificance, but at the same time the ability to empathize is preserved;
• manic syndrome, bipolar affective disorder. In addition to an overestimated self-esteem, the patient has an acceleration of thinking (up to a jump in ideas), an increase in mood, motor and incentive activity.

For people with high self-esteem, the following behaviors are characteristic:

• haughty, arrogant behavior bordering on aggression;
• relationships with other people are superficial, empathy almost never arises;
• in general, all activities are aimed at maintaining one's own supersignificance - obtaining approval from others;
• the sole purpose of close relationships with other people is self-actualization. This is true even for your own children and partner;
• comparing oneself out loud with other people is not in favor of the latter, emphasizing one's merits against the background of interlocutors;
• self-affirmation at the expense of others;
• painful reaction to criticism - crying, screaming, anger.

There are 2 types of phenomena:

• adequately high self-esteem is more common in adults. As a rule, it is due to real achievements in the professional, social, family field. In this case, it becomes a kind of form of recognition by the individual of his own merits. Since inflated self-esteem distorts the perception of objective reality, in this case, the adjustment of personal attitudes and behavior may be necessary;
• inadequately high self-esteem is observed mainly in children, adolescents and people with a lack of achievements. The source of inflated self-esteem of this type is dissatisfaction with oneself, one's own achievements, the desire to attribute at least some success to oneself. Inflated self-esteem in a child, among other things, is often fueled by parents, grandparents.

Causes of high self-esteem

In the exceptional majority of cases, self-esteem is formed at the stage of primary socialization - in the process of parenting, training in preschool educational institutions, school, as a result of the child's communication with close relatives, peers. The breakdown of fixed attitudes at a more mature age is usually possible only after mental violence and an experienced psycho-traumatic situation or as a result of the development of an illness, mental or neurotic disorder.

There are a number of factors contributing to the formation of inflated self-esteem:

• parental narcissism. In the process of primary socialization, parents do not adequately satisfy the emotional needs of the child, since he himself is only a means of self-actualization of adults (or one of the parents). In the future, overestimated self-esteem becomes a way to compensate for lost positive experiences;
• a person is the first or more often the only child in the family;
• spoiled in childhood, improperly built “child-adult” relationships, when the attention of adults in the family is riveted to the child, his interests are in the first place, and desires are satisfied on demand, regardless of possible obstacles (illness of parents, lack of money);
• external data - often people of both sexes consider themselves better than others because of their own attractive appearance;
• unreasonably positive attitude of teachers and teachers. Quite often, situations arise when teachers single out some of their students because of personal sympathy, the high financial or social position of their parents;
• lack of adequate tests of one's own abilities. So, with personal abilities and good preschool preparation, a child can brilliantly cope with the program of an ordinary school, while studying in a more prestigious educational institution would require additional efforts from him. With a prolonged absence of serious tests, a person may begin to attribute outstanding abilities to himself.

The reasons for overestimated self-esteem in each case can be tried to identify using psychodiagnostic methods. The results of such an examination play a key role in the further correction of attitudes, behavior or treatment of the disorder.

Inflated self-esteem: signs

Inflated self-esteem of a person is often obvious to others, but he himself is rarely perceived as a problem. An individual with such attitudes sees a negative set of circumstances, envy and intrigues of ill-wishers, lack of proper professional qualities among business partners or work colleagues, etc. as the cause of their own failures. A psychologist or psychiatrist can reliably determine the level of self-esteem and, if necessary, prescribe procedures that correct behavior and installation.

To determine self-assessment, the following are carried out:

• study of the lifestyle of the individual. If a mental or neurotic disorder is suspected, information received from the patient's relatives is of great importance;
• research based on self-attitude questionnaires;
• conversation between a specialist and a patient. It is conducted in a free form, but upon its completion, clear answers should be obtained to questions characterizing the attitude of the individual to various aspects of his own Self.

In general, an overestimated level of self-esteem is characterized by:

• unshakable confidence in one's own rightness, even in the presence of evidence to the contrary;
• the desire to impose their opinion on all interlocutors, aggression in case of failure;
• recognizing only oneself as an authority;
• the rejection of any rules other than those that are established by him;
• denial of someone else's authority and power;
• the search for an "external enemy" responsible for the failures. Most often, these are parents, the state (not only native, but also foreign), colleagues;
• the desire to be in leading roles at all costs, often without making any effort;
• "Yakanie" in conversations, attempts to drag the topic to discuss their own problems;
• lack of self-criticism, aggressive perception of criticism from the outside;
• the perception of help as pity and, therefore, the rejection of it;
• painful experience of failures up to depression, fear of mistakes.

How to correct an overestimated level of self-esteem?

A balanced analysis can show that the main culprit of a person's life failures is his overestimated self-esteem. What to do in such a situation, a psychologist or psychotherapist will tell you. It can be quite difficult to cope with an inadequate assessment of yourself and your actions on your own. This requires a lot of self-discipline and self-control, which are often lacking in people with high self-esteem. The best results in the correction of attitudes and behavior are shown by various methods of cognitive psychotherapy, which in this case are aimed at:

• analysis of one's own behavior and actions. The individual must stop looking for someone to blame for failures, learn to consider each individual case and evaluate his own contribution to what happened;
• formation of the ability to listen to the opinions of others, not to oppose in a conversation, to accept other people's judgments;
• calm perception of criticism and development of self-criticism;
• formation of the ability to accept help, for example, from more successful specialists in the profession;
• assessment of their capabilities before starting new projects, making calculations, drawing up step-by-step plans;
• analysis of one’s own behavior in terms of how it affects others, whether it offends loved ones, whether it creates obstacles to friendship and romantic affection;
• the formation of respect for the feelings and desires of others.

In dealing with a narcissist, some experts recommend not being ashamed of frankness: to say that he puts himself above others, to directly ask what his statements are based on. On the other hand, this approach is quite crude, and the non-specialist may provoke a sharp conflict that excludes the possibility of further therapy.

Correction of inflated self-esteem of children has a number of specific features. They mainly concern changes in the behavior of parents and close relatives (grandparents):

• praise should follow any achievement, but not in itself and not for what the child did not put effort into (for example, appearance);
• the interests of the child should not come first, if this does not concern his health, development, nutrition;
• Do not mitigate the consequences of the actions of the child. He must know the objective result of his actions. If a child intentionally broke a toy, you can not urgently buy him a new one. Otherwise, the baby does not learn to evaluate his own actions and he does not develop the ability to perceive the connections between actions and their results.

Hello everyone! Adolescence is a very difficult period in a person's life. He is no longer a child, but far from being an adult. The personality is not yet able to control itself, as older people do, but even childish spontaneity is also beyond its power. As a rule, the individual at this time is not able to independently figure out what is happening to him. A lot depends on the parents of the teenager. They are the main source of reducing or increasing his self-esteem. The child trusts them, admires them, checks them all his life. Therefore, when he hears criticism from his relatives, especially expressed in a rude form, he feels rejected and unloved. Today I want to talk about how to increase the self-esteem of a teenager.

Reasons for the decline in self-esteem of a teenager

The human psyche during this period is extremely sensitive. At such a time, the foundations of his personality are still being laid and it is very easy to shake them. In the future, it will be very difficult for such an individual to adapt to the harsh adult life.

Low self-esteem is a teenager's idea of ​​himself as a failed person. He constantly worries about what others will think about him, he is afraid to make social connections, to start a new business. Some young people who do not feel supported by parents or friends may even become depressed, which often ends in suicide attempt.

The reasons for low self-esteem in a teenager can be:

• changed appearance;
• glasses;
• constant parental criticism;
• lack of care;
• difficulty making friends;
• lagging behind in studies;
• unidentified artistic inclinations;
• loneliness;
• drinking parents;
• inability to be alone, etc.

It should be understood that a decrease in self-esteem at this time is an almost normal process. This phenomenon is temporary, so it is advisable to give the teenager a hand as soon as possible to help him move through this stage faster. It's easy enough if there is love in the family. But, at the same time, this is everyday mental work for parents, in which they do not have the right to stumble.

Very often, the cause of a teenager's low self-esteem is his endless unflattering comparisons with adults and well-established people. The young man is not able to reach their level, and because of this, his pride suffers terribly.

Parents and teachers do just as much harm by comparing children to each other. This is obviously a non-constructive way. If, for example, Vasya thinks well, this does not mean that Petya is a loser, because he, in turn, draws well. All people are different and each has its own unique virtues. But the child is not yet able to understand this, and he has the illusion that he is mediocrity.

First of all, his self-esteem suffers. Its distortion is formed as a result of incorrect actions on the part of the family, teachers and other mentors. If they are too critical, constantly telling the child that he is good for nothing or that he has no talents at all, then the young being firmly believes in this.

A teenager will stop doing anything at all to correct this state of affairs. He simply does not yet have enough willpower and self-confidence for this. Most likely, he will completely withdraw into himself or stick to a dubious company that will not judge him too harshly or, even worse, will strongly approve of every cigarette he smokes or drinks a bottle of beer.

Self-esteem of a teenager is largely based not only on his personal characteristics and the attitude of others. The individual at this time is controlled by the changed hormonal background, the restructuring of the musculoskeletal system, changes in the psyche.

Often at this time an object of attention of the opposite sex appears and it is very important that such first love be mutual. With a complete lack of interest on the part of the chosen one or the chosen one, the self-esteem of a teenager falls even lower and this can already affect the entire adult life of a person.

How to boost self-esteem as a teenager

It is the older relatives who are the first to face the problems of their child. At first they don't understand what happened. Yesterday everything was fine, but today the teenager has become somehow different. Not everyone realizes that it is their fault that a person has low self-esteem. During such a period, it is enough to talk rudely to him, ignore his achievements, laugh at him and he will already feel humiliated.

It is not so difficult for parents to notice that a teenager suffers greatly for parents. There are certain signs:

• He has no friends, no one calls him and no one comes to visit.
• Often he lags behind in his studies.
• A teenager is reserved and spends a lot of time in his room, reading adventure novels or watching action movies on TV. Even worse, if social networks become a source of communication for him. There, for a young man, there are a lot of dangers, ranging from pedophiles to drug dealers.
• The teenager is not proud of his successes and does not accept the approval of others. In difficult cases, he may repel the love of parents or offers of friendship from classmates.
• Girls often cry when locked in their room, and boys become overly aggressive and may even torture animals.
• Adolescents do not share anything with their parents, hide their successes and failures from them, avoid communication with people.

It is simply necessary to raise the self-esteem of a young person to an adequate level. This is the responsibility of the parents. If this is not done in time, he will remain insecure for life, it will be difficult for him to build relationships with the opposite sex and move up the career ladder.

Therefore, relatives are obliged to show all their love and care, helping a teenager to believe in himself. At this age, it is still quite easy for him. Correcting the self-esteem of an adult will be much more difficult.

Responsible parents will undoubtedly do everything to allow the child to stand firmly on his feet. It's not difficult at all. Enough:

• praise the teenager more often;
• support him;
• do not criticize the face, figure and young man;
• help get rid of youthful skin imperfections;
• buy him decent (not necessarily expensive clothes);
• more often invite the child's classmates to visit;
• do not impose your opinion on him;
• not to make fun of even the most naive dreams of a teenager;
• talk more about your love for him;
• treat your child with respect;
• do not demand the impossible from him;
• do not make unflattering comparisons with other people;
• deal with temporary setbacks at school;
• be interested in the everyday life of a teenager;
• to strengthen his faith in himself;
• admire his success;
• call a young man to frank conversations;
• talk about their youthful mistakes;
• do not quarrel with the child over trifles;
• allow him to refuse requests for good reasons;
• do not force a teenager to do something that is beyond his power or will not bring much benefit;
• exercise parental control by unobtrusive means;
• be a role model for your child
• calmly accept his refusal to participate in family activities for a good reason, etc.

This is not a one day job. All these recommendations should be followed constantly. In any case, until the parents notice that the teenager has become, he has stable plans for life and is not in danger of being involved in bad digging.

How can a person help himself?

A teenager should realize that all other people are no better and no worse than him. He needs to understand that his hobbies do not interfere with anyone and have the right to exist, even if they are far from perfect. None of the schoolchildren is required to be the first in physical education classes or to know geographical names best of all. You need to allow yourself the right to make mistakes.

Teenagers don't need to focus on their appearance. It is quite normal for a person of this age.

Not bad for raising your own self-esteem to find on the Internet photos of pop and movie stars in their youth and look at them. Most likely, these beauties and beauties did not shine with anything special. A teenager has a hope that with the passage of time and with some effort on himself, it is quite possible to change for the better.

A young person should allow himself to be proud of his educational, creative and human successes. There is no need to be ashamed of doing good deeds: to take an old man across the road, to feed a homeless animal, to help someone who has fallen on the street to get up.

Criticism of older teenagers should be taken calmly. Is not . She is unpleasant, but you need to be able to put up with her. To do this, you yourself need to judge others less, try to find positive features in them.

It is very important for a young person to learn. Constant willingness to agree is one of the clearest signs of low self-esteem. Soon, the surrounding people cease to reckon with such a person and simply sit on her neck. All this does not raise her opinion of herself.

In adolescence, it’s good to have before your eyes the image of the person you would like to be like in the future and gradually get closer to him. You should not copy his appearance, it is better to take a closer look at his best individual features.

It is desirable for a teenager to choose a hobby for himself. It must correspond to his natural inclination. Such a hobby can be sports, creative or technical. It is worth trying to learn a new difficult foreign language. As successes appear, a person's self-esteem will grow by itself. These classes are also useful in that they allow you to undergo career guidance and, perhaps, even take the first steps towards your future career.

Don't waste time. Computer games, social networking or watching action movies will not add anything to the development of a teenager's personality. It is also better not to spend too much time alone, but it is also not worth constantly being around people.

A young man should not shy away from new acquaintances with boys or girls, reject compliments made by them, or refuse invitations from friends. In the company of friendly-minded comrades, he quickly grows in his eyes.

One of the most fundamental criteria for normalizing a teenager's self-esteem is a benevolent attitude towards his appearance. To do this, it is best to simply take care of yourself daily, be neat, get rid of youthful acne, and actively engage in physical education. Also, don't make fun of someone else's appearance.

If someone's remark still hurt the teenager, then it is better to immediately go to the mirror and make sure that the nitpick is not based on anything. And if there is some truth in it, then understand that it is quite possible to correct the state of affairs. At such a young age, appearance is very easy to change for the better.

It is better for a teenager to motivate himself to study, prepare for a university or master a profession in order to be able to earn money for himself. Nothing will give such great pleasure and will not raise the self-esteem of the individual as high as the first completely self-earned money.

Thus, day after day, with the help of parents, friends and on their own, a teenager can significantly increase his self-esteem. This is very important, as it will become the basis of a mature personality for the rest of your life. This process of becoming a person should be treated very responsibly.

Adolescence is a difficult period for both the child and his parents. There comes a time of reassessment of values ​​and the destruction of some stereotypes. At this point, it is very important to help the child to correctly assess his personality.

Parents should make a lot of efforts so that the transition of their child from the children's world to the adult world goes smoothly. This article will tell you how to raise self-esteem for a teenager.

Is the child self-confident - defining signs for parents

Childhood passes, the child begins his acquaintance with the adult world, where everything is not always smooth and beautiful. During this period, the child evaluates his personality. It is influenced not only by parents, but also by peers, classmates and friends of a teenager.

Low self-esteem in a teenage child is a consequence of excessive criticism. He doubts the significance of his own personality, does not believe in his own strength, is shy and is in constant tension.

The main difficulty for parents at this time is the recognition of low self-esteem in a teenager. Many children carefully hide all their experiences from adults. Of course, an attentive parent will be able to find out if everything is in order with his child's self-esteem.

To clarify the situation, adults should familiarize themselves with several signs that indicate a low assessment of the personality of a teenager:

• a teenager has poor contact with peers because of the fear of being ridiculed;
• the child has panic moods, high anxiety;
• the opinion of others for a teenager is of great importance;
• a teenager does not want to learn something new because he is afraid of failure;
• a child with low self-esteem has a role model among peers;
• The teenager explains any success by accidental luck;
• the child categorically does not want to take part in school activities;
• a teenager does not want to go out with friends, it is better for him to spend his free time alone;
• the child hides his worries, experiences, successes or failures from adults, does not want to tell his parents anything.

If you observe in your child one or two signs of all of the above, then there is no reason to panic. Just watch it for a while. A teenager needs help when he has three (or more) signs of low self-esteem.

Parents should understand that an untimely reaction to the first signals of a teenager's low self-esteem can lead to serious consequences when the child has to visit a child psychologist.

In order to properly deal with low self-esteem in a teenager, you need to know the reasons that provoked its appearance. The assessment of the personality of the child is reduced under the influence of such factors:

• improper upbringing, constant criticism from parents;
• low authority of the child among friends and peers;
• poor school performance, negative attitudes of teachers;
• personality traits of a teenager;
• the appearance of the child, his physiological factors (overweight, wearing glasses, untidiness).

How to help your teen build self-perception

So, if you notice in your child a tendency to low self-esteem, try to correct the situation yourself. Parents should understand that their influence on the assessment of the personality of the child is enormous.

If close people do not see merit in a teenager, constantly criticize and scold him, he becomes withdrawn, shy, unsociable.

And vice versa, when parents constantly support a teenager, are attentive to him, pay attention to his successes, approve of good deeds - a teenager feels his personal significance, his self-esteem returns to normal.

In adolescence, the assessment of the child's personality is influenced by his friends and peers. Parents should take this into account and make every effort to ensure that the formation of self-esteem in a teenager takes place in a positive way.

To help your child increase their self-esteem, adults should follow these guidelines:

• in no way criticize the appearance child, but be sure to try to help him solve problems: if a teenager is overweight, parents should motivate him to play sports together, if a child has acne on his face, you need to help him choose the right skin care products;
• parents should respect their child listen to his opinion, do not humiliate him and talk with a teenager on an equal footing;
• teenagers need to be constantly praised, but only on the case and constructively;
• Don't compare your child to others children, to set one of his friends as an example to him;
• the appearance of a teenager must be carefully monitored: the child should walk in clean clothes, choose his own style of dress, parents should teach the teenager how to combine the elements of clothing correctly;
• adults need to help teenagers succeed in some business, it is right to develop his hidden abilities and talents;
• teenagers should be able to say "no", this will help him to consolidate his position in society and increase self-esteem.

In psychology, there are special exercises and techniques that help increase the self-esteem of a teenager:

1. Autotraining. A teenager must convince himself that he is worthy of the respect of other people. To do this, you can print a laudatory text on a large Whatman paper and hang it on the wall in the children's room. A teenager needs to repeat these words daily, in the morning in front of the mirror and in the evening before going to bed.
2. Communication for good. An insecure teenager should associate as much as possible with positive, joyful people. He needs to meet more often with friends who love him and appreciate him for who he really is. But there should not be selfish and arrogant people surrounded by a teenager.
3. Reaction to praise. The child must be taught to correctly perceive the praise and compliments given to him. It is better for him to answer all eulogies with a short “thank you”, but never deny the praise said.
4. Help others. You can bring a teenager's self-esteem back to normal by attending various charity events with him. Helping other people, the child feels his importance for society, his self-esteem increases.
5. Fighting fears. In adolescence, a child develops a large number of fears. Basically, he is afraid of seeming ridiculous and ridiculous in the eyes of others. Parents should help a girl or boy realize that looking funny is not so scary. And the best way to do this is to create a game model of a situation in which the child will need to face his fear. For example, you can invite a teenager to participate in a humorous performance, dressed up in a ridiculous and funny costume.

How to raise self-esteem as a teenager on your own

girl

1. Choose your style. Do not blindly follow fashion trends and replenish your wardrobe with things that do not suit you at all. You must have your own individual style of clothing. It will be unique, and will definitely give confidence.
2. Pay attention to your interests. If a teenage girl wants to dance, then this desire must be realized. Now many schools have special dance clubs where you can learn a new sport, dance moves, painting techniques.
3. Take care of personal hygiene. In order for your self-esteem to be at a high level, you need to regularly monitor personal hygiene, take care of your body. Brush your teeth daily, wash your hair regularly and comb your hair.
4. Wear neat and clean clothes. The things you wear need regular care. You need to wash them as they get dirty, remove stains, smooth wrinkled areas. Clothing should fit you in size, not restrict movement.
5. go in for sports. Regular sports activities help the girl to form a figure, feel energetic and healthy. Choose the best sport for you (running, jumping, squats, swimming) and do it regularly.
6. Make your diet balanced. Proper nutrition will help you feel healthy, improve your mood, and give you more energy.
7. Self-training will help you become more confident. Every morning, say the magic words in front of the mirror: “I am beautiful, I am attractive, I love myself, and others love me.” If you remind yourself daily of these real things, you will soon be able to believe what you are saying and raise your self-esteem.

guy

1. Reach your goals. Teenage boys dream of being better and more successful than their peers. To do this, they do not need to be able to fight at all. After all, you can achieve success by doing something worthwhile and important. For example, learn to improve your body by exercising regularly. Try to study well, get high grades in subjects. Any achievement is your reason for pride!
2. Develop a sense of responsibility. The ability to be responsible for your words is a good trait for any guy. A sense of responsibility will help you cope with many problems and difficulties.
3. Become a volunteer. You can increase your self-esteem by helping people in need. Get involved in volunteer activities, just help an old neighbor (neighbor) or homeless animals. Small acts of kindness like these will make you feel important.
4. Find yourself good friends. It is much easier to deal with difficulties if there are faithful and reliable friends nearby. It's good if they have the same interests as you. Do not be friends with those who lower your self-esteem, think badly of you.
5. Be assertive. To gain self-confidence and increase self-esteem, you need to learn to follow your desires and not let others push you around. Do not be afraid to express your opinion in the presence of classmates and peers. You should not feel guilty when you refuse someone to fulfill some request.
6. Try to get enough sleep. Sleep deprivation during adolescence can negatively affect your health in later years. In addition, lack of sleep will affect your self-esteem. You need to get at least 8 hours of sleep a day.
7. Don't strive for perfection. The ideal is a conditional concept that does not really mean anything. Trying to be perfect will make you feel more frustrated, and that doesn't help your self-esteem.

A teenager who knows how to correctly assess his personal characteristics will achieve greater success in life. Self-confidence will help him in the future to build relationships with good people, avoid bad company and achieve all his goals.

During adolescence, the child must receive the necessary support from adults (parents and teachers) in order to successfully transition from childhood to adulthood.

Video: How to Increase Self-Esteem