Positive emotions in the autumn period. Anhedonia - loss of joy in life

Health 02.08.2012

Today I want to touch on a very important, in my opinion, topic - the joy of life. Over the past 20 years in developed countries, the number of people who have lost the ability to enjoy life has increased by 25%. Scientifically, the loss of a sense of joy from ordinary life is called anhedonia. This disease has occurred at all times, but with the development of society, its frequency has become much greater.

It has been noticed that people who have achieved a lot suffer from this most of all: they have made a successful career and can afford almost everything. The main cause of anhedonia is the change in our lifestyle and the availability of entertainment.

"Benefits" of civilization.

If you remember, some 50-70 years ago, Russian women had to carry water in buckets, heat it in the oven, wash everything with their hands, cook dinner every day, which could not be stored until tomorrow in the refrigerator. Naturally, a simple minute of rest brought them joy.

Now we have everything. Or almost everything. Machines do a lot for us, and we spend all our free time either on work, which, perhaps, exhausts us, or on entertainment. Moreover, all this begins to become boring, especially when it is available.

The huge information flow that we do not have time to "digest" aggravates everything. And it turns out a vicious circle - dissatisfaction with life plus mental overwork. That is why many now lose the feeling of joy from books, favorite music, and even from a loved one. What does it mean? Are we all so hardened?

Dangerous consequences of anhedonia.

Probably, each of us noticed that after a change of scenery, after a rest, everything is seen in different colors. Thus, the feeling of joy can return to us, and a psychotherapist is not required.

However, andegonia can develop into a real depression. And it's already scary. Not getting pleasure hormones from traditional things, we can look for them in food. And often without realizing it. So excess weight is one of the possible reasons for the loss of the joy of life. And even hypertension and diabetes, arthritis and peptic ulcers - all this is a consequence of the loss of positive emotions.

How to return the joy of life?

If you can’t deal with all the problems yourself, you can recommend contacting a good psychologist for help. But often, for some reason, we do not want to go to him, and finding a good psychologist is a problem. What to do in this case?

A more effective method of dealing with the loss of joy in life is considered creating artificial stress .

No wonder all over the world, especially among wealthy people, there is a growing passion for extreme sports. Trips to the wilderness, voluntary renunciation of the benefits of civilization are considered by many to be the whims of rich people. And in fact, this is one of the most effective ways to regain a sense of happiness. Agree, this is better than looking for lost joy in alcohol and drugs. Not all of us have that opportunity, of course. But if you wish, you can look for extreme in more accessible things.

Another very effective way to deal with the emotional state is playing sports. You can also bring back the joy of life by listening to the best affirmations. Pleasure hormones are restored. It's so simple, but we don't always get it.

Well, medications for anhedonia do not always help. They work only in cases where the loss of joy is combined with depression or other more serious disorders.

So we ourselves are responsible for all our emotions. Sometimes, we don’t see, and we don’t want to notice the simple joys of life, we don’t know how to be grateful for everything we have. The other day, a friend called me and told me that she had buried her husband. Left alone with two children. I don’t want to condemn anyone, please understand me correctly, but how much was once said about everything, how many problems there were, how difficult everything was ...

Let's think again about what we have and what we don't appreciate. And now I want to invite you to read one parable. Parable from Sergei Shepel. I introduced you to this amazing man. Here is the parable itself.

Parable LOST HAPPINESS.

Happiness lived in a person, lived, did not grieve. It loved freedom, space, flight, beauty and love. It saw in everything the inner, potential beauty, light and purity and wanted the person to see them too, and he poked her nose into today's external imperfection and ugliness and smeared her eyes with this “dirt”. He tied her wings with ropes of resentment and claims and set up barriers of conventions.

And now happiness stopped flying, either because of its bound wings, or because of the barriers of conventions, against which it wounded its large wings when they were not bound, or because, because of the mud before its eyes, it did not see where to fly. And fortunately, flight was necessary; without flight and freedom, it suffocated. And from such a life, happiness began to wither, it became indifferent to everything.

Time passed, and it changed so much that people stopped recognizing it. He became sad without happiness and began to call him:
- Happiness, where are you?
“Yes, here I am,” it replied.
No, you are not happiness.
-Who am I then?
- I don’t know, but the fact that you are “not happiness” is for sure.
- Yes, how is it, take a closer look, here I am - your happiness.
- No, no, you are "not happiness."

So this new nickname, "NOT HAPPINESS", was not noticeably fortunately attached.
A person began to wonder where this “misfortune” came from and where, in fact, did “his” happiness go? Not finding "his" happiness in himself, he began his search in the outside world. And wherever a person didn’t look for him and didn’t try to attract him, with delicious food, and money, and jewelry, and a car, and a chic apartment with furniture, but nothing helped. So a person still wanders in search of him and cannot find him. And how will he find it if it is not outside, if it is in the same place as before - in itself?

And so I want to scream: “Wake up man. Stop looking for your happiness where there is none. Look, it's in you. Yes, yes, what you now call misfortune. What? You will not know? So why don't you try to wash him of the dirt you've smeared on him, free his wings and remove the barriers of conventions to enable him to fly? Maybe then you'll recognize him?"

I hope you hear me, human, and help your happiness regain its freedom and become yourself.

Here is such wisdom from Sergey Shepel.

Today is a gift from me Elena Frolova Straw of love . I introduced you to this singer. This is my favorite song from Elena's repertoire. I won't write anything. I don’t even know, to be honest, how I can add such music and such a performance. Listen to everything yourself.

I wish everyone to hold such a straw of Love, enjoy life, take care of loved ones and appreciate everything that we have.

50 comments

Andrei
23 Mar 2017 at 9:45

Sometimes it is quite difficult to enjoy a completely bleak occupation. Fortunately, life can become much happier, just change your view of the world. With a few tricks, you can find joy in literally everything.

Steps

Put joy at the forefront

Have fun. Adults often think that their life should be serious, consisting of work and family obligations. With age, the time of rest and entertainment does not lose its importance compared to childhood. Adults play to learn and expand their horizons, to feel the competitive spirit, to indulge in fun and forget about joyful activities. Don't wait for a good mood to find you. You need to actively incorporate activities that are enjoyable for you into your daily routine or weekly plan.

Examples include a new art hobby, regular hangouts with friends where you watch movies or play games, and time spent with your kids.

Learn to see the positives. You can enjoy any activity if you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even exhausting affairs give us valuable results; you just need to consider the positive moments and let them into your life.
- You can find positive every day using the following method. Set aside 10 minutes every day for three weeks. Start by listing 5 things that make you happy (like "watching the sunrise in the morning" or "hearing the laughter of loved ones"). Now think about times when things didn't go well. Describe the situation. After that, you need to find three ways that will help you see the positives in this test.
- For example, your car breaks down on your way to work. You are devastated and irritably waiting for the arrival of the mechanic. But waiting time can be used in another way: it is an opportunity to read that verse that your friend has been talking about for a long time. You also have a couple of minutes to call your mother and inquire about her health. Finally, waiting will allow you to collect your thoughts before diving into a new work day. The ability to notice positive moments will help you see the positive even in unpleasant situations.
Celebrate any success. Perhaps you don't find joy in life because you don't take advantage of small miracles and successes. Have you recently reached your goal? It's time to celebrate it. Has your friend found a new job or lost weight? Celebrate together. Find ways to celebrate all the little victories.

Change the environment. Bring some fun into your environment at home, work or school. Repaint your office or bedroom in stimulating bright colors that will make you smile. Get house plants. Use new lighting, fabrics, colors and other decorations, and books that lift your spirits.

Enjoy the little things
1. Find pleasure in pleasant sounds. Sounds can have a huge impact on how you feel about what you're doing right now. For example, you need to clean your bedroom or kitchen. This is a boring activity, but if you turn on one of your favorite songs, then cleaning will immediately turn into a joyful concert.
  
  Notice pleasant touches. People need warmth and physical touch as it is the primary expression of empathy. In the digital age, all touch has become even more important. They enhance feelings of security and safety, enhance overall well-being, build trust, strengthen bonds, and reduce the likelihood of illness.
  - While doing your current affairs, try to surround yourself with those people whose touches give you joy. In this way, you will fill almost all aspects of your life with satisfaction.
2. Enjoy your favorite food. Even eating can give joy, if you treat it thoughtfully. For many people, food can make you feel guilty. Perhaps sometimes it's better to forego a slice of chocolate cake at a corporate party or a second bucket of popcorn while watching a movie. However, by mindful eating versus mindless snacking, you can enjoy your favorite meals without feeling guilty.
3. Smile. If you have recently experienced stress, then only the use of a band-aid can bring a smile to your face, since the effects of stress do not allow you to relax. According to the Greater Good Project at Berkeley, any smile (even a forced one) has a positive effect on our health. It accelerates the recovery of the heart after intense experiences.
  - Try to smile even during unpleasant activities to improve your mood and well-being. You will immediately feel better.
Change your view of the world
1. Become a tourist for a day. If we live in one place for months and years, then we cease to perceive it as unusual or inspiring. Restore the lost attachment to your place of residence and turn into a tourist for one day.
  - Visit local museums, parks and art galleries. Take photos and try to look at your native places through the eyes of tourists. Go to a restaurant you've never been to or order a new dish at your favorite place. Look at your life through the eyes of a newcomer to feel again why you love your city.

Joy inspires and gives a sense of the fullness of life. But suddenly something breaks - and she leaves. Do you know the feeling of hopelessness and apathy? To deal with it, you need to understand its true cause.

Fatigue is the simplest and most common reason why the world around us ceases to be enjoyable. Feelings are dulled, everything seems gray and monotonous. And the only recipe in this case is how to relax.

Sometimes it seems to us that we live a very boring life. Here, artists (showmen, politicians, journalists ...) have an interesting and eventful life, not like mine, we think. The paradox is that writers, artists, actors, and pop stars are all equally tired of what they do every day. Whoever you are, from time to time you need to break out of everyday reality and change the picture. Take a vacation and go away - to another city, another country. Free yourself from your usual routine. Breathe in the air of freedom. Learn new things. Often this step is able to restore strength and bring back the joy of each day.

The simplest and most common reason that the world around you ceases to be enjoyable is fatigue. Feelings are dulled, everything seems gray and monotonous. And the only recipe in this case is how to relax.

But it happens that the blues becomes chronic. Complete disappointment, unwillingness to do anything, awareness of the meaninglessness of life - these are the symptoms of this state. We lose joy in one case: when we cannot use life to satisfy our needs, says psychoanalytic therapist Eduard Livinsky. - A person perceives the world through the prism of what he can influence. And if he satisfies other people's desires and sacrifices his own, he feels frustration. And that's how we're raised! You go to work where no one is going to think about your personal needs. You live in a society that is focused on the accumulation of capital, and if you have other values, you have to break yourself. Joy is always the joy of one's own doing, activity for oneself among like-minded people.

6 ways to shake things up and want to live

If everyday life has become insipid, you need to look for a way to diversify them. Just do not sit back: apathy does not go away on its own!

Go on a trip. Change of environment and new experiences expand the boundaries of perception. All sensations become several times sharper. And there is time to think about what, in fact, is important to you.
Get a pet. Caring for a small defenseless creature - even a turtle - gives each of us the necessary feeling of being needed. The animal depends entirely on the owner: you will begin to receive joy when you feed it, stroke it, communicate with it.
Go to church for a service. Even if you are not a religious person, try to stand the service, listen to prayers and understand yourself better. People often find peace and harmony after attending church. It's not even about the ceremony, but about returning to yourself.
Think of a new hobby. Ask yourself: what is important for you, what have you always wanted to do and what have you denied yourself? And take this step: sign up for a dance or theater studio, start learning professional photography. There is nowhere else to put it off.
Start a mini-repair at home. At least rearrange the furniture and re-paste the wallpaper. Firstly, you will undoubtedly be distracted, and secondly, transforming and renewing your home, you yourself will want to renew yourself internally.
Help someone who is in trouble. When we do good, we always feel joy. We are changing, becoming cleaner and brighter. A visit to a sick friend, helping her mother, a few kind words to a neighbor ... And, maybe, volunteer work.

Pamper the body - thaw the soul

Bodily pleasures can be excellent therapy for apathy. To do this, turn ordinary procedures into a pleasant ritual. The simplest things that we often do in a hurry can give moments of genuine joy. For example, peeling: there is so much bliss and sensuality in the treatment of the body with a fragrant scrub! The same can be said about Ayurveda's favorite oiling ritual, for which any slightly warmed oil will do (you can take olive oil and add a few drops of essential oil to your taste). It makes sense to take a course of oil massage or several sessions of stone therapy - massage with heated stones. During such procedures, we focus on our sensations and learn to enjoy touch and tactile contact. The body relaxes, unnecessary thoughts go away along with tension. We take care of ourselves - and this gives us confidence!

There are times when sadness just rolls over. Psychologists advise not to hide from her under fake fun, but to fully experience emotions.

Listen to yourself

If at this moment you feel sadness and longing, surrender to these difficult feelings in full. You are entitled to them.

Find the right job

Maybe it's time to watch a sentimental movie or flip through your ten-year-old diary. Or just cry into your pillow. By the way, tears act cleansing.

Think that it will pass

No matter how bad it is, you should always look for a thread that you can cling to. This thread is our hope for tomorrow, that everything will change for the better and we will be in great shape. Think about the good even in the most difficult periods - and it will certainly happen to you!

Pick up a brush

Express your feelings in creativity and understand the essence of the problem that worries you, gives you the opportunity to art therapy (art healing) - popular in last years method of psychotherapy. Spleen, apathy, lack of interest in life are direct indications for her. The simplest technique is to try to express your emotions in a drawing.

Depict, for example, your longing, and then your joy - and compare these two pictures, mentally transferring yourself to the field of joy. If you are overwhelmed with negative emotions, you can even create a sculpture out of paper, old newspapers, pieces of wallpaper, and then paint it in sunny colors - try to transform the negative into a positive. How good is art therapy? Firstly, you express your emotions, which means that they do not accumulate inside you. Secondly, you pull the problem out and distance yourself from it. And thirdly, the creative process itself is healing, which will capture you entirely! In addition to isotherapy, there are many other techniques: music, dance, fairy tale, photo, game, drama and even sand therapy.

Where to look for life energy

To return the world of color, you need to start doing something. Not for someone else - for yourself. Find the area where your efforts will be fruitless. Seeing the result of your work, you will want to live again!

Work that does not bring joy and serves only to earn money, relationships in which the sharpness of feelings has long been dulled, constant employment and haste, many small household chores ... How to break this vicious circle? You need to find an area where you can fully realize your abilities - and the perception of life will change.

The main task of any of us is to allow our self to do something valuable for ourselves. Therefore, any activity that brings you pleasure can get rid of the blues! The most difficult thing remains: to find something for the soul. The trouble is that often we deactivate our own self so much that it loses the ability to create desires. Psychologists recommend in this case to remember what brought you joy in childhood. Sewing outfits for dolls, creating collages, sculpting, drawing - after all, it was definitely an exciting activity. And then cast aside doubts and false shame (say, I'm no longer a child) and indulge in your favorite business! Even if you don't feel inspired at first.

It is very important not to withdraw into yourself. Find people with similar problems so that you have someone to talk to. Search for those who share your hobbies, since now it is easy to do using the Internet. But communication should not be limited to the virtual world: it is imperative to go out into reality!

Each of us needs to be appreciated and accepted by others. Therefore, find an opportunity to participate in those collective events where your activity will be welcomed! A lonely person can go on a group tour of the city: a friendly atmosphere, an exchange of opinions - and now you are no longer alone! It is enough for a young mother, who thinks that life is passing her by, to organize a holiday at home, invite friends with children - and she will perk up, advises Eduard Livinsky. - A life without meaning is a sure road to depression.

Set goals for yourself and achieve them, and this activity will bring you out of an emotional stupor. Write down five goals focused on your own needs - what you will do for the soul and good mood.

IMPORTANT! Any communication with children will bring you pleasure and sincere joy if you put aside all business and completely devote some time to the child. Teach him something, discover a new meaning for his favorite activities. Nothing makes us more happy than the success of our children.

Give children joy

The most common cause of apathy and depression is infantilism. A person expects that life will give him all the joys, not wanting to act on his own. Meanwhile, life requires effort, otherwise it turns into a swamp. Look for new meanings of existence for yourself. One of them may be caring for children who have no parents. If you are single and not too happy right now, give some warmth to those who really need it! Coming to the nearest orphanage on a weekend and reading a fairy tale to the kids, talking to older children - this will not require any special expenses. But the return can be very strong. You will feel that someone needs you, that someone is happy for you, someone is waiting for you. So, there is a meaning to life!

The Art of Gratitude

Any person feels happy when his efforts are accepted, whether at work, in the family. Imagine that you prepared a delicious dinner, having spent the whole day at the stove, and your relatives ate it with lean faces and did not even thank you - where is there to rejoice? Therefore, at home - in our microcosm, where we ourselves establish orders - we need to cultivate a culture of gratitude.

Teach your children, your husband, and learn to appreciate what you have done for yourself. Say thank you!, feeling this warm feeling inside yourself. And thank life for what it gives you.

Experience difficulties. And with honor to overcome!

Everything is fine, but everything is tired - the spleen of satiety, you can’t say otherwise. She is being treated!

Live in extreme conditions. For example, go camping with tents. The world will turn upside down. You will start to notice things that you didn't notice before. And many problems will be unimportant.

Learn another language. Communication on the courses greatly broadens one's horizons. And the head will be busy - not to apathy.

Start running. At least 3 km per day. It is not easy to break away from the TV - the favorite pastime of all the blues. But what joy you will feel every time after the end of the run! Including the fact that while running, endorphins are released into the bloodstream.

History from life

My niece brought me out of apathy

Two years ago Diana from Poltava (26 years old) was in a serious depression. She, pregnant, was left by a loved one. She lost her child from frustration. And these were not all the trials that fell to her lot!

At first everything went great. Upon learning that I was expecting a child, Denis proposed to me. We had already invited guests to the wedding, when suddenly at night we quarreled over a trifle. And Denis ... disappeared. And I soon ended up in the hospital. The baby was not saved.

I hated men. She lived in chronic apathy. Nothing made me happy. I went to work only because I had to live on something. One day I was walking home tired and thought: I want to go to the hospital with a sore throat. Our negative attitudes come true: I slipped unsuccessfully and ended up in intensive care. I was paralyzed, the doctors said that now I will lie down. But a miracle happened: I got to my feet. I was discharged from the hospital, knowing that for three years I could not get pregnant.

My sister just had a daughter. And she called me to her place in Kyiv.

She offered to change her life and stay with her, help with Karina. At first I refused, and six months later I quit my job and moved in with my sister. At first I was afraid to touch the baby. But soon she easily changed her diapers and could stay with her for the whole day. Communication with this sun energized me. We walked with her for a long time, played, I read books to her. Somehow I caught myself thinking that I want the same miracle! Karina taught me to smile again. The depression has passed. Now I am looking for a job in the capital and I hope to arrange a personal life.

By caring, we find harmony

Caring for plants and animals is a guaranteed way to love the world again. In Haruki Murakami's acclaimed book "Norwegian Forest", the main character, Naoko, finds herself in a closed medical institution in the mountains years after the loss of a loved one. People who have lost their taste for life - people like her - are treated there not with medicines, but with simple activities: growing vegetables, floriculture and poultry farming.

Working near the earth, in contact with its creations, watching how sprouts break through, how fruits ripen, a person draws strength and is charged with vital energy, forgetting about his mental traumas. This primitive activity, despite all the achievements of scientific and technological progress, remains the most natural for us. But where can a city dweller look for a vegetable garden or a farm? A good way out is growing flowers. This hobby does not require a lot of money, but allows you to fully experience the joy of communicating with nature. Flowers are beautiful, they awaken in us a sense of beauty. Caring for them, we free our heads from annoying thoughts, relax and rest from the hustle and bustle.

Your sources of inspiration

We are sad when we lack something. And we rejoice when we feel connected with the world and other people. And for this you need not to engage in self-digging, but to strive to learn new things, to see the world in all its colors. And feel that you are alive!

Watching nature brings joy, because it is alive. And depression is nothing more than a loss of life dynamics. Therefore, the contemplation of nature restores. You watch how the trees bloom, clouds float, insects swarm, and you understand: life flows regardless of our petty everyday misfortunes. Against this bewitching background, their problems seem insignificant. And nature also instills faith that you can do something as important and natural as a blooming flower or a bee carrying nectar.

Art inspires and demonstrates the diversity of life, showing that not everything around us is gray and monotonous. And it also allows you to have your own emotions, pushing us to feel, experience, catch fire. Indeed, in essence, art is emotions poured into sounds, colors, movements. Depression always starts with fear of your feelings.

Books and films with a positive story, dedicated to overcoming obstacles, instill confidence in one's own strength. If the hero coped with the difficulties, then you can do it too! Joy goes away because we cannot process the situation, we get stuck in it. And someone else's example shows: there is a way out, you have to look for it! And the only question is how to do it. If you can’t find a way out yourself, you should talk with a friend, a psychologist, any person who will help you look at the problem from the outside. And make sure: there is something to rejoice in life!

Beautiful landscapes cause unconscious joy, so use every opportunity to be in nature. Alternate active rest with meditation or contemplation of awakening nature. Rejoice in spring!

4 books that will set you up for positive

Osho. Hsin Hsin Ming: The Book of Nothing

Our mind creates dreams. To wake up and experience true joy, you need to go beyond the mind. Osho tells how to turn off the stereotypes imposed by culture, free yourself from the need for choice and start living an authentic life.

Anna Gavalda. Just together

A kind, wise and life-affirming novel about love and how to find joy in everyday life. All the characters, at first lonely, find their happiness at the end of the story. And one of its important components is to help another in difficult times.

Sue Townsend. The Diaries of Adrian Mole

Incredibly funny book, not leaving the bestseller list, about the adventures of an English teenager prone to blues and who considers himself an intellectual and a talented poet. Sparkling!

Viktor Frankl. Man in search of meaning

An Austrian psychiatrist describes his personal experience of surviving in a concentration camp and shows that even in the most terrible conditions, one can find an incentive to continue life. A serious book that can turn your worldview upside down.

Photo in text: Depositphotos.com

Hello. There is no joy in life, depression, no mood either at work or at home, tearfulness. In my head there are some bleak thoughts about life. You don't want to go to work from home and vice versa. Married for 20 years. At home, the desire to do something has long been repulsed. I do it through force. I can’t separate and leave my husband, my conscience does not allow me to leave in a difficult situation, he is sick. Although, when I had a difficult life situation, he was not around. When my parents died one year, strangers supported me. All the time he said that there was no money, I was looking for where to borrow, and he hid and saved for several years ... Then he bought a car, no one knows what nerves this purchase cost me. 2 years ago we quarreled and he beat me, then he said a month later that he did not remember this. Although all this time I was waiting for an apology. I did a lot for him, now I don’t want anything ... Financially now we live separately, we don’t have intimate relationships either, we’ve been sleeping on the couch for 5 years .. there are no affectionate words either ... BUT! loves children ... And I seem to be married ... but in essence one, hope for myself. I want care, love, confidence, support. And fear in my heart. Now he is seriously ill and the only hope is for me. I have no joy except to buy something for myself, to eat or drink well. I want a normal life and relationships, care and love ...

anonymously

Everyone wants us to experience less suffering and more joy and pleasure in our lives. Which in itself is perfectly normal. Everything that surrounds us tends to move - from discomfort to comfort, from anxiety to calmness, from suffering to satisfaction. Therefore, we are asking the question how to find joy in life?».

The suffering we experience is a signal that something in our lives does not suit us or even endangers our lives. That we are in a state of imbalance and that there is no harmony in our lives. Having received this signal, we can recognize, eliminate the causes that led to the discomfort that we feel and return balance and joy to our lives.

Is it possible to control the amount of happiness? Quite. At the very least, you can "squeeze the maximum" out of what you have and constantly work to improve the quality of life. But here the key word is “work”, which many people forget or do not want to think about. Well, yes, the word is boring and boring, what happiness there is! ...

The question “how to find joy in life” wants a simple and inspiring answer.

But I don’t have such an answer, and therefore let’s talk about that very work.

First, you have to learn to observe yourself and your reactions.

Because if you yourself do not know what situations bring you joy, happiness, calmness, peace, then you are unlikely to be able to repeat them. And you will always wait for some kind of inspiration or “coincidence” like manna from heaven.

Of course, to the question « how to find joy in life» almost every one of us can give an answer in the form of a dream, a big goal, an “image of the desired”. But before a big goal, as a rule, it may turn out to be several years, and where can one get strength for this long journey if there is no joy in every day?

It is the “little things”, details, small gifts to yourself, special points in living the day when you feel that “the moment is wonderful”, and this minute is worth living - it is they that give strength for big goals. As, however, and the ability to once again not plunge yourself into a situation of obvious discomfort.

In general, this observation turns out to be rather painstaking and even somewhat tedious. But without it, it’s obvious that if you don’t know where and how your happiness “turns on”, you won’t get there yourself, and you will only have to hope for the universe, which may someday “bring it back” there.

Secondly, you will have to not only learn to observe all, even small shades of states, but also understand what needs are behind the desired situations.

Because not every situation can and should be reproduced constantly.

Simple example: Let's say you feel good after drinking alcohol. Does it follow from this that it should be drunk every day to increase joy? Unlikely. More precisely, of course, you can try, but most likely, this will only lead to an increase in suffering.

Therefore, it remains not only to notice situations in which you feel good, but also to isolate the very need that is behind it, and then choose the methods that are as environmentally friendly as possible for all body systems so that it does not work out “we treat one thing and cripple the other.”

There can be many needs behind alcohol - relaxation, calmness, or vice versa - courage, a surge of strength, emancipation. Which one is yours? And what other ways can you satisfy her?

Thirdly (and this is even more difficult, but also more interesting) - you will have to deal with whether some external situation generates your suffering, or, nevertheless, it is generated by your attitude towards it.

Here, there are a lot of nuances.

for example, if you are worried about the constant noise from your neighbors, is this problem solved by moving, or a serious conversation with your neighbors, or maybe it's just your increased excitability against the background of some other experiences, fantasies and projections? Maybe this whole story touches on something that used to hurt, but seems to have been forgotten, and now it is revealed with renewed vigor by the situation? And then you need to deal not with your neighbors, but with your experiences of many years ago, stuck inside and in need of revision?

When the world turns gray and indifference overshadows all feelings, the surest way out is to find something to your liking.

Why does the desire to dream and create suddenly disappear?

Fatigue – the simplest and most common reason why the world around us ceases to be enjoyable. Feelings are dulled, everything seems gray and monotonous. And the only recipe in this case is how to relax.

Sometimes we think that we live very boringly. “The artists (showmen, politicians, journalists…) have an interesting and eventful life, not like mine,” we think. The paradox is that writers, artists, actors, and pop stars are all equally tired of what they do every day. Whoever you are, from time to time you need to break out of everyday reality and change the picture. Take a vacation and go away - to another city, another country. Free yourself from your usual routine. Breathe in the air of freedom. Learn new things. Often this step is able to restore strength and bring back the joy of each day.

But it happens that the blues becomes chronic. Complete disappointment, unwillingness to do anything, awareness of the meaninglessness of life - these are the symptoms of this state. “We lose joy in one case: when we cannot use life to satisfy our needs,” says psychoanalytic therapist Eduard Livinsky. - A person perceives the world through the prism of what he can influence. And if he satisfies other people's desires and sacrifices his own, he feels frustration. And that's how we're raised! You go to work where no one is going to think about your personal needs. You live in a society that is focused on the accumulation of capital, and if you have other values, you have to break yourself. Joy is always the joy of one's own doing, activity for oneself among like-minded people.

6 ways to shake things up and want to live

If everyday life has become insipid, you need to look for a way to diversify them. Just do not sit back: apathy does not go away on its own!

Go on a trip. Change of environment and new experiences expand the boundaries of perception. All sensations become several times sharper. And there is time to think about what, in fact, is important to you.

Get a pet. Caring for a small defenseless creature - even a turtle - gives each of us the necessary feeling of being needed. The animal depends entirely on the owner: you will begin to receive joy when you feed it, stroke it, communicate with it.

Go to church for a service. Even if you are not a religious person, try to stand the service, listen to prayers and understand yourself better. People often find peace and harmony after attending church. It's not even about the ceremony, but about returning to yourself.

Think of a new hobby. Ask yourself: what is important for you, what have you always wanted to do and what have you denied yourself? And take this step: sign up for a dance or theater studio, start learning professional photography. There is nowhere else to put it off.

Start a mini-repair at home. At least rearrange the furniture and re-paste the wallpaper. Firstly, you will undoubtedly be distracted, and secondly, transforming and renewing your home, you yourself will want to renew yourself internally.

Help someone who is in trouble. When we do good, we always feel joy. We are changing, becoming cleaner and brighter. A visit to a sick friend, helping her mother, a few kind words to a neighbor ... And, maybe, volunteer work.

Pamper the body - thaw the soul

Bodily pleasures can be excellent therapy for apathy. To do this, turn ordinary procedures into a pleasant ritual. The simplest things that we often do in a hurry can give moments of genuine joy. For example, peeling: there is so much bliss and sensuality in the treatment of the body with a fragrant scrub! The same can be said about Ayurveda's favorite oiling ritual, for which any slightly warmed oil will do (you can take olive oil and add a few drops of essential oil to your taste). It makes sense to take a course of oil massage or several sessions of stone therapy - massage with heated stones. During such procedures, we focus on our sensations and learn to enjoy touch and tactile contact. The body relaxes, unnecessary thoughts go away along with tension. We take care of ourselves - and this gives us confidence!

With a taste of sadness

There are times when sadness just rolls over. Psychologists advise not to hide from her under fake fun, but to fully experience emotions.

LISTEN TO YOURSELF. If at this moment you feel sadness and longing, surrender to these difficult feelings in full. You are entitled to them.
FIND THE RIGHT JOB. Maybe it's time to watch a sentimental movie or flip through your ten-year-old diary. Or just cry into your pillow. By the way, tears act cleansing.
THINK THAT IT WILL PASS. No matter how bad it is, you should always look for a thread that you can cling to. This thread is our hope for tomorrow, that everything will change for the better and we will be in great shape. Think about the good even in the most difficult periods - and it will certainly happen to you!

Pick up a brush

Express your feelings in creativity and understand the essence of the problem that worries you, enables art therapy (“healing by art”), a method of psychotherapy that has become popular in recent years. Spleen, apathy, lack of interest in life are direct indications for her. The simplest technique is to try to express your emotions in a drawing.

Depict, for example, your anguish, and then your joy - and compare these two pictures, mentally transferring yourself to the field of joy. If you are overwhelmed with negative emotions, you can even create a sculpture from paper, old newspapers, pieces of wallpaper, and then paint it in sunny colors - try to transform the negative into a positive. How good is art therapy? Firstly, you express your emotions, which means that they do not accumulate inside you. Secondly, you pull the problem out and distance yourself from it. And thirdly, the creative process itself is healing, which will capture you entirely! In addition to isotherapy, there are many other techniques: music, dance, fairy tale, photo, game, drama and even sand therapy.

sitting at home

After a difficult operation, I lost faith in myself and in life.

One day, my mother brought a set for creating figures from beads. Without inspiration, I started making a heron. But the whole process took over. Soon I ordered books on beading on the Internet and now I create wonderful things. No time to grieve. Stranger Yoli

Where to look for life energy

To return the world of color, you need to start doing something. Not for anyone, for yourself. Find the area where your efforts will be fruitless. Seeing the result of your work, you will want to live again!

The work that does not bring joy and serves only to earn money, relationships in which the sharpness of feelings has long been dulled, constant employment and haste, many small household chores ... How to break this vicious circle? You need to find an area where you can fully realize your abilities, and the perception of life will change.

the main task any of us - to allow our "I" to do something valuable for itself. Therefore, any activity that brings you pleasure can get rid of the blues! The most difficult thing remains: to find something for the soul. The trouble is that often we deactivate our own "I" so much that it loses the ability to create desires. Psychologists recommend in this case to remember what brought you joy in childhood. Sewing outfits for dolls, creating collages, sculpting, drawing - after all, it was definitely an exciting activity. And then cast aside doubts and false shame (say, I'm no longer a child) and indulge in your favorite business! Even if you don't feel inspired at first.

Very important don't lock yourself in. Find people with similar problems so that you have someone to talk to. Search for those who share your hobbies, since now it is easy to do using the Internet. But communication should not be limited to the virtual world: it is imperative to go out into reality!

Each of us needs for his work to be appreciated and accepted by others. Therefore, find an opportunity to participate in those collective events where your activity will be welcomed! “A single person can go on a group tour of the city: a friendly atmosphere, an exchange of opinions - and now you are no longer alone! It is enough for a young mother, who thinks that life is passing her by, to organize a holiday at home, invite friends with children - and she will perk up, advises Eduard Livinsky. “A life without meaning is a sure road to depression.”

Set goals for yourself and reach them, and this activity will bring you out of an emotional stupor. Write down five goals focused on your own needs - what you will do for the soul and good mood.

IMPORTANT!

Any communication with children will bring you pleasure and sincere joy if you put aside all business and completely devote some time to the child. Teach him something, discover a new meaning for his favorite activities. Nothing makes us more happy than the success of our children.

Give children joy

The most common cause of apathy and depression is infantilism. A person expects that life will give him all the joys, not wanting to act on his own. Meanwhile, life requires effort, otherwise it turns into a swamp. Look for new meanings of existence for yourself. One of them may be caring for children who have no parents. If you are single and not too happy right now, give some warmth to those who really need it! Coming to the nearest orphanage on a weekend and reading a fairy tale to the kids, talking to older children - this will not require any special costs. But the return can be very strong. You will feel that someone needs you, that someone is happy for you, someone is waiting for you. So, there is a meaning to life!

The Art of Gratitude

Any person feels happy when his efforts are accepted, whether at work, in the family.

Imagine that you cooked a delicious dinner, having spent the whole day at the stove, and your relatives ate it with lean faces and did not even thank you - where can you rejoice? Therefore, at home - in our microcosm, where we ourselves establish orders - we need to cultivate a culture of gratitude.

Teach your children, your husband, and learn to appreciate what you have done for yourself. Say "thank you!" Feeling this warm feeling inside of you. And thank life for what it gives you.

Experience difficulties. And with honor to overcome!

Everything is fine, but everything is tired - the spleen of satiety, you can’t say otherwise. She is being treated!

Live in extreme conditions. For example, go camping with tents. The world will turn upside down. You will start to notice things that you didn't notice before. And many problems will be unimportant.

Start running. At least 3 km per day. It is not easy to break away from the TV - the favorite pastime of all the blues. But what joy you will feel every time after the end of the run! Including the fact that while running, endorphins are released into the bloodstream.

My niece brought me out of apathy

I hated men. She lived in chronic apathy. Nothing made me happy. I went to work only because I had to live on something. One day I was walking home tired and thought: “I want to go to the hospital with a sore throat.” Our negative attitudes come true: I slipped unsuccessfully and ended up in intensive care. I was paralyzed, the doctors said that now I will lie down. But a miracle happened: I got to my feet. I was discharged from the hospital, knowing that for three years I could not get pregnant.

My sister just had a daughter. And she called me to her place in Kyiv.

Caring, we find harmony

Caring for plants and animals is a guaranteed way to love the world again. In Haruki Murakami's acclaimed book Norwegian Forest, the main character Naoko, years after losing a loved one, finds herself in a closed medical institution in the mountains. People who have lost their taste for life - people like her - are treated there not with medicines, but with simple activities: growing vegetables, floriculture and poultry farming.

Working near the earth, in contact with its creations, watching how sprouts break through, how fruits ripen, a person draws strength and is charged with vital energy, forgetting about his mental traumas. This "primitive" activity, despite all the achievements of scientific and technological progress, remains the most natural for us. But where can a city dweller look for a vegetable garden or a farm? A good way out is the cultivation of flowers. This hobby does not require a lot of money, but allows you to fully experience the joy of communicating with nature. Flowers are beautiful, they awaken in us a sense of beauty. Caring for them, we free our heads from annoying thoughts, relax and rest from the hustle and bustle.

Your sources of inspiration

nature observation brings joy because it is alive. And depression is nothing more than a loss of life dynamics. Therefore, the contemplation of nature restores. You watch how the trees bloom, clouds float, insects swarm, and you understand: life flows regardless of our petty everyday misfortunes. Against this bewitching background, their problems seem insignificant. And nature also instills faith that you can do something as important and natural as a blooming flower or a bee carrying nectar.

Art inspires and demonstrates the diversity of life, showing that not everything around us is gray and monotonous. And it also “allows” us to have our own emotions, pushing us to feel, experience, catch fire. Indeed, in essence, art is emotions poured into sounds, colors, movements. Depression always starts with fear of your feelings.

Books and films with a positive story, dedicated to overcoming obstacles, inspire confidence in their own strength. If the hero coped with the difficulties, then you can do it too! Joy goes away because we cannot process the situation, we get stuck in it. And someone else's example shows: there is a way out, you have to look for it! And the only question is how to do it. If you can’t find a way out yourself, you should talk with a friend, a psychologist, any person who will help you look at the problem from the outside. And make sure: there is something to rejoice in life!

Beautiful landscapes cause unconscious joy, so use every opportunity to be in nature. Alternate active rest with meditation or contemplation of awakening nature. Rejoice in spring!

4 books that will set you up for positive

Osho. Hsin Hsin Ming: The Book of Nothing

Our mind creates dreams. To wake up and experience true joy, you need to go beyond the mind. Osho tells how to “turn off” the stereotypes imposed by culture, free yourself from the need for choice and begin to live an authentic life.

Anna Gavalda. Just together

Sue Townsend. The Diaries of Adrian Mole