Orthodox psychologist and his clients. What is religious trauma? Priests also need psychological counseling

Russian Orthodox psychology - what kind of phenomenon is this, why are Orthodox psychologists needed? And what is the attitude of the Church to psychology? The answers are in our article!

Orthodox psychology

Do I need to go to a psychologist with my "sores"? Especially if you are a believing Orthodox Christian? If there are priests, the Church, the Gospel and the patristic heritage, why else is psychology needed?

We all know that in matters of faith, nothing is more valuable than experience. Therefore, when trying to answer the question “Does an Orthodox person need psychology?”, first of all, you look back at the real experience of your loved ones. And he is different.

One of my believers, Orthodox friends, had an unbearable character and disposition, a teenage sister. Not getting what she wanted from her mother or sister, she threw irons, alarm clocks, and smashed furniture. We ourselves were convinced that a friend was not exaggerating when she once brought her to our community near Moscow at the temple, where we gathered on Saturday and Sunday under the wing of her confessor. Things did not come to throwing irons and alarm clocks, but from speeches and petty deeds, from the enthusiastic mimicry of adults, it was noticeable that the teenager was clearly without brakes. “There are no authorities for me,” her reckless tone showed through.

Things got to the point that an extremely wise, well-knowing priest once even blessed Masha during a particularly indomitable rampage of her sister ... to call the police home.

Masha left her relatives so as not to run into her sister, she lived with friends. Then our communication became not so close, and when, after some time, having met, we asked Masha what condition her sister was in, it turned out that the thrower of irons and alarm clocks was an excellent student of the law academy and had not tyrannized the family for a long time. “What happened?!” we gasped. “I took her to a psychologist at an Orthodox center. She apparently talked to her accurately and convincingly, and - as cut off. My sister suddenly understood everything about herself and about the consequences of her behavior.

“Maybe the girl has outgrown her rampage, out of a difficult adolescence?” - we did not trust Masha's story. “And this could have had an effect,” Masha answered, “but it was the conversation with the psychologist that turned out to be for us the very key that opened the door for her to understand herself and others.”

And here is a completely different story. Another friend of mine, a believer, without special need, for the sake of curiosity about the inner world, began to go to a psychologist she had known for a long time and had once played a good role in her life for something like psychoanalytic sessions.

Even unbelievers laughed at her - look, she goes to confession and to a psychoanalyst. A friend explained: confession is a healing Sacrament, and meetings with a psychologist are something like a restructuring of spiritual architecture. It seemed to her that she and her psychologist friend were good "foremen" of this perestroika.

Three years after starting this intellectual and spiritual adventure, I met her in a state of excruciating crisis. She fell into severe trials, misfortunes haunted her and her family, and she forgot about everything in the world, except for prayer, fasting, the Church. To my question about the psychologist, she waved her hands: “All these are toys. And I'm not sure if they're dangerous." Reading the surprise in my eyes, she clarified: “I trusted that psychologist, he said that we were doing “psychodrama” with him, but in reality it turned out to be something incomprehensible. It seems that he applied semi-hypnotic practices to me, and I, despite my university education and my constant interest in humanitarian texts and practices, now cannot “count” the trace of these practices.”

That density of pain and that painful experience of real events and experiences that my friend went through later did not leave a stone unturned from interest in this kind of practical psychology, but left a suspicion of it.

“It seems to me that I unscrewed my soul with these strange soul-searching and fantasies, and when real trials came, I met them in a weakened state, and almost died. In the end, the Lord gives everyone the dispensation of the soul that He gives. We must endure, among other things, our psychological weaknesses, ”she eventually took such a position.

She did not even agree with my reasoning that such psychoanalytic methods of vague spiritual etymology are most likely dangerous, but an ordinary conversation with a well-educated psychologist is a useful thing. “Everything is given to us, everything we have - in the spiritual experience of the holy fathers. And psychology is “a labyrinth from which there is no way out.”

Why does psychology become Ariadne's thread for some, leading out of the labyrinth of difficulties, and for others it becomes the labyrinth itself?

Should psychology say a resolute Orthodox “no”? But are we not slipping here on the very obscurantism that the Russian intelligentsia has pointed out many times when speaking of church experience?

After all, psychologists have a lot of practical skills in their arsenal. It is not for nothing that at all press conferences during the days of intense search for solutions “what should be done with the inmates of the Penza ravine?” a psychologist sat next to the priests and said sensible things. And everyone knows that it is better to pull people out of sects, relying on the help of a professional psychologist.

And finally: “Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is useful; everything is permissible to me, but nothing should possess me” (1 Cor. 6:12). Psychology as a fixed idea, as something that forms the ultimate worldview horizon - this is, perhaps, “exceeding authority”. And psychology as experience, as smart professional knowledge - why not? It would be a great pride to neglect psychological culture as well. Unless, of course, this is not an attempt to drive a concrete solution of rudeness and shocking into the cultural layer of our life.

But in every possible way “taking off my hat” to psychological culture, I would, frankly, delay my enthusiasm when it comes to psychology as such.

Of course, any subject in all the splendor of its deep meanings does not appear in textbooks. The honor of any science is the authors, discoverers of laws. And here it is necessary, it seems to me, to notice another Achilles' heel of psychology as a science - the absence of strict laws, if we are not talking about reflexes and Pavlov's dogs. And the presence of authors - often bright, but very subjective. At its height, psychology is just a set of bright and contradictory figures in positions and views. It seems to me that it is easy for the inexperienced to find themselves in the wilds, perhaps very seductive.

The dispute between one of the psychological pillars of the century, Sigmund Freud, and the religious foundations of our worldviews neither frightens nor repels me personally. It does not scare, because all sorts of systemic raids of this kind inside our soul and head are quickly collapsing. It's like intellectual hardening. But it does not repel, because, for example, from the lectures of the famous modern Christian philosopher Vladimir Bibikhin, a student of Losev, I know about Freud's last turn towards religion. It's just that this spread did not have time to be cast into texts, but everything that Bibikhin says about its spiritual result, quoting Freud, seems convincing to me.

However, a young green mind, led by a passion for originality and subversion, prone to shock and outrageousness, may well include Freud's positions among his favorite postulates. And here, of course, the question arises as to whether such attitudes do not prepare the human soul, the very one, which, as we like to repeat after Tertullian, is by nature a Christian, for infection with sin?

The question of temptations - spiritual, mental - will almost always arise when it comes to understanding psychology, its theories and theorists.

Elena YAKOVLEVA

The Christian pays special attention to the interior of his heart. He tries to observe the movements of his soul, trying to remove from it everything impure, sinful, infected with passions. The connection of passions with physical ailments was mentioned by the holy fathers. According to them, sin affects both the soul and the flesh. Today, mankind, which has fallen away from the Lord, is infected with many sinful ailments, from which both body and soul suffer. Dmitry Alexandrovich Avdeev - Moscow Orthodox psychiatrist, psychotherapist, candidate of medical sciences. He worked in medical institutions, as a psychotherapist at the Counseling Center in the name of St. John of Kronstadt. Conducted a medical appointment at the Church of the Holy Martyr Boniface in the regional psychiatric hospital in Moscow. He is the developer of an Orthodox-oriented rehabilitation program for those suffering from drug addiction and alcoholism, speaks on the radio "Radonezh", "Blago", "Annunciation". Dmitry Alexandrovich is the author of many books published, in addition to Russian, in Romanian, Serbian, Macedonian, Bulgarian, Georgian, English, Spanish and German.
- A psychotherapist helps people at a time when, as they say, the soul hurts. How is the reception of an Orthodox psychotherapist different?

The basis of Orthodox psychotherapy is the patristic heritage. It contains everything necessary for healing the soul and for its salvation. Even if the patient is not a Christian, the Orthodox doctor does not view this meeting as an accident.

Patients with a psychotherapeutic profile are a very special contingent. Their suffering is often associated with moral conflicts, family problems, experiences after serious illnesses, and spiritual quests. As a rule, a person who is experiencing a lack of love, understanding, and support from loved ones looks into the doctor's eyes. Patients must first of all be given love and warmth.

Often patients, seeing icons, lamps, patristic books in my office, ask me about the meaning of life themselves. And then I tell those who have an open heart about the Christian understanding of the meaning of life, about the meaning of suffering, illness.

It is my deep conviction that psychotherapy, whenever possible, should become a "bridge" to Orthodoxy. One of the most important tasks of Orthodox psychotherapy is to assist the patient in understanding the psychological passionate mechanisms of an illness or conflict situation. It is difficult to overestimate the role of Orthodox psychotherapy in the rehabilitation of those suffering from drug addiction and alcoholism.

It can be said that only that psychotherapeutic help will be truly effective and useful, which leads to Christ and is carried out by a doctor or psychologist who is penitent, correcting his life.

Dmitry Alexandrovich, in your works you often cite up-to-date data on the spread of mental disorders.

According to published data, there are more than 500 million mentally ill people in the world today, and their number is constantly increasing. Moreover, it seems that even these figures do not reflect the true realities. In fact, mentally ill people are much more.

Judge for yourself. Here are just a few facts about the Russian Federation that reflect the severity of the problem. In the country, 7 million patients with alcoholism, 3 million drug addicts, 500 thousand teenagers are registered with narcologists for drug addiction and substance abuse. In Moscow alone, there are more than a hundred thousand beer alcoholics under the age of 14. Every year, 70,000 young people die from drugs. Suicide rates are extremely high. On average, every 39 people per hundred thousand of the population end their lives by suicide. The problem of the mental health of society from the category of medical becomes state.

And how do you assess the neuroses, which are now paying a lot of attention, from a Christian position?

The unbridled growth of neuroses in our time is generated not only by stress and scientific and technological progress with its information overload, but above all by the “progress” of the human fall into sin.

At all times in the history of mankind there have been wars, various natural disasters, floods, droughts, tornadoes. Why, then, has the problem of neuroses become so acute only in recent times?

The reason, I think, is one - in the growing lack of faith, in the loss of the spiritual foundation by mankind, and with it the true meaning of life. It turns out that the main thing in the origin of neurosis is not stress and trouble, but the personality of a person. Moreover, the personality is internally “upset”. Sin, as the root of all evil, entails neurotic disorders. Deep neurosis is an indicator of moral ill health, spiritual and mental discord.

A well-known domestic psychiatrist, Professor D. E. Melekhov believed that the basis of many mental disorders is insubordination. Neurosis in this sense is no exception. It is generally accepted that this disease develops due to a conflict of personality with oneself or with other people. Neurosis is a collision between the desired and the actual. The more powerful this collision, the more acute the disease. “Faith is humility,” says St. Barsanuphius the Great.

Most modern researchers agree that neurosis is a personality disease. A person does not become ill with neurosis suddenly. The patient is distinguished by a style of thinking that is uncompromising in nature, pronounced categoricalness is seen in the assessments, much of what is happening has no shades for him and is built on the contrast: bad - good.

Neurosis often arises as a result of internal personality processes. External provoking factors and circumstances are only the last straw, the trigger mechanism for the development of neurotic disorders. A person prone to this disease develops a peculiar ability to react nervously to life.

Neurosis is rightly called a neglected form of passions. This refers to passion in the patristic understanding of the word, as a sinful disposition of the soul. The deep basis of various neurotic symptoms is the impoverishment of love in the heart of a person, and where there is no love, indifference, hostility, intolerance, irritability, anger, fears ripen ...

It is known that many diseases develop on "nervous soil". What can you say about this?

The Holy Fathers say that the more a person sins, the more he suffers. For this reason, the life expectancy of people is reduced, their health is weakening.

Science started talking about the close relationship between mental and bodily processes two hundred years ago, when the German doctor Heinroth first used the term "psychosomatics". This idea is based on the assertion that in the origin of a number of somatic diseases, the leading place belongs to psycho-emotional factors.

For example, scientists have found that in people who are ambitious, in a state of constant internal turmoil and unsatisfied aspirations, blood coagulates much faster and coronary vessels are prone to blockage on average twice as often as people who do not have a similar personality warehouse.

Thus, psychosomatic pathology is a kind of somatic resonance of mental processes. And, what is very important, spiritual processes. In my opinion, the true scheme of the formation of psychosomatic disorders should look like this: sin - character - illness. The soul cries, and tears drip into the body.

Please tell me, what we are talking about is your personal opinion or is there a general church view on the problem of mental disorders?

The Church of Christ was, is and will be a true hospital of human souls. The attitude of the Russian Orthodox Church towards mental illness and sick people is reflected in the foundations of the social concept adopted at the Jubilee Council of Bishops in August 2000. It says that, for example, the main reason for the flight of many of our contemporaries into the realm of alcoholic or drug illusions is spiritual emptiness, the loss of the meaning of life, and the blurring of moral guidelines. Drug addiction and alcoholism become manifestations of a spiritual disease not only of an individual, but of the whole society. This is a retribution for the ideology of consumerism, for the cult of material prosperity, for lack of spirituality and the loss of true ideals. Thus, the Church, as one of the reasons for the development of mental illness, points to sinful passions. It is the enslavement of the soul by sinful passions that leads to many mental disorders. This group of diseases includes drug addiction, alcoholism, and many forms of depression and neurosis, and other diseases.

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There is a lot of talk and writing about depression these days. Tell us in more detail, what features does it have, how does it arise?

In some cases, depression is due to the fact that in the brain structures such neurotransmitters as serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine "go to almost zero", and the person experiences a pessimistic, depressed mood. He is inactive. And relatives and acquaintances are trying to somehow influence him: “Get a job, pray more.” But he can't do it because he's sick. And at the first stage, you need medical help. And as you recover, psychological and spiritual help will prevail.

And there are depressions - and there are much more of them - as a result of the passions of despondency and sadness that have enslaved the soul. This moment is very significant. And it is necessary to distinguish, including the clergyman, where is sin and where is illness. In general, depression in terms of prevalence has become one of the leading places in the world among other diseases. The consumption of psychotropic drugs, antidepressants has gone out of control of physicians and cannot be accounted for. Moreover, depression has become younger, today we are talking about childhood depression. There are a lot of such disorders in my practice too.

It happens that depressive states, a nervous breakdown lead a person to thoughts of suicide. How to help a person who may be on the verge of suicide?

This is very responsible, but I would advise you to cross yourself and say: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!” And go to the temple, and now, without concealment, sincerely, tell the priest at confession all these experiences. If we talk about the ambulance - that's it.

If we talk about the problem of suicide in general, it is known that only ten percent of suicides are mentally ill people. And the remaining ninety percent are mentally healthy, but spiritually deeply damaged people. Do you know how many there are? 39-40 people for every 100 thousand of the population! That is, every year tens of thousands - this is a whole city of suicides! We are talking about completed suicides, but there are still suicide attempts, and there are many more of them.

And the problem of alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling? That is why a year and a half ago the Institute for the Problems of Forming Christian Attitudes towards Mental Illnesses was created. Because many of them need a Christian attitude.

prepared by I. Meladze

Who are Orthodox psychologists?

An Orthodox psychologist is a specialist in the Orthodox worldview who understands the confessional features and ethical attitudes of Christians, selects appropriate methods of work and sees the relationship between psychological and spiritual problems. I want to say right away: I do not distribute spiritual advice. You can not try on the role of "great guru" or "old man", although the clients themselves sometimes expect this.

By secular profession, I am a business psychologist, a consultant in personnel management and business process optimization. I graduated from the Faculty of Psychology of Moscow State University, underwent additional training in psychodrama, Gestalt therapy and other methods of psychotherapy. In order to become an Orthodox psychologist, it is not necessary to receive an Orthodox education, although now such educational institutions already exist.

I regularly had to explain that psychology is not Satanism

Orthodox psychologists often work for donations or for free, but since counseling has become more than 80 percent of my time, I have established a base hourly rate that is low relative to Moscow prices. At the same time, if someone has a crisis and at the same time financially difficult situation, I agree to a lower payment or even a free consultation. Now I earn significantly less than before, when I was mainly engaged in business consulting.

Are Orthodox people afraid of psychology?

Some people believe that psychologists are competing with priests, fighting with them for the souls of their flock. Others fear they might be hypnotized. And some eight years ago I regularly had to explain that psychology is not Satanism. The biggest misconception is that an Orthodox person does not need psychology, it is supposedly for non-believers. I always say: if a person has not resolved internal conflicts, has an old neurosis, then he will not be able to start spiritual life. Sometimes neurotic people with an aggressive model of behavior denounce heretics, smash exhibitions and give a picture of completely inadequate unchristian malice.

Christ did not issue ultimatums to any of the harlots with whom he communicated

Who will not be consulted by an Orthodox psychologist?

A psychologist who chooses his clients solely on the basis of confession is not a psychologist. But if some attitudes in life are completely incompatible with the basic Christian worldview, I simply understand that it will be difficult for me, as a believer, to find mutual understanding with this client. The psychologist should openly discuss his position and decide together with the client whether it makes sense to work further.

For example, I would not advise a man who asked him how best to shoot girls for one night. But I would ask why he does this and what scares him in a long relationship. Perhaps this way we would get to his real problems.

What will an Orthodox psychologist do if a homosexual comes to him?

A person does not choose sexual orientation, so from a dogmatic point of view, the problem is not in it. The church considers the practice of homosexual relations to be a sin. In such cases, I ask why the person came to me: if with an internal conflict between faith and orientation, I work with this, helping the client find an acceptable way out for him.

One option is lifelong abstinence. On the one hand, this sounds cruel, but on the other hand, in the church, many categories of people are called to. For example, all unmarried people, widows and widowers who have not remarried. But both spiritually and psychologically, it should be a personal choice. I consider it unacceptable to demand abstinence from another person. If we turn to the Holy Scriptures, we will see that Christ did not issue ultimatums to any of the harlots with whom he communicated.

Often homosexuals come with the fact that they consider their orientation a sin, they have a feeling of God-forsakenness, despair. I say that I can help to cope with despair, but no one has yet managed to change the orientation. In this, by the way, I disagree with the conservative part of our church circles, because they tend to reject such people. But I believe in enlightenment.

How does an Orthodox psychologist act if a client wants to solve a problem with a method that does not accept Christianity?

To dissuade means to take responsibility for the fate of another. And this is wrong and even cruel in relation to an adult and a person with free will.

If a woman who is about to have an abortion came to me, I would help her understand herself and the situation so that she makes an informed decision. Any Orthodox psychologist has a very definite position of his own on this matter, which is worth warning the client about.

If a woman has already had an abortion, this does not mean that she does not have a chance for God's forgiveness. As long as a person is alive, there is always a chance. This is one of the foundations of asceticism - to separate the sin from the sinner. The sinner must be loved, and the sin must be hated. If a person does not understand that his act is a sin, then you just need to fix the difference in understanding, say it out loud and work further in that paradigm that does not contradict the views of the therapist.

Even the Lord does not encroach on free will, and even more so it is not appropriate for a psychologist to do this

Do priests also need psychological counseling?

The clergy have the same personal and family problems, and often they have no one to consult with. In addition, they experience professional burnout, but they rarely take it to professionals. It is believed that clergy should solve these problems not in a spiritual, that is, psychological, but in a spiritual way, discussing, for example, problems with their spiritual fathers, but, unfortunately, not everyone has them.

What is religious trauma?

People come to church for various reasons: they want to find peace of mind, get rid of neurosis, feel God's grace. Often they lack what in psychology is called unconditional acceptance, that is, the belief that someone can love them just like that. People go to church for this, and they are faced with the fact that conditions are set for them, including clergy - sometimes as harshly as parents, husbands, wives, bosses, but only now all this is considered the spiritual, consecrated authority of the church. Because of this cruelty, ideals often collapse - and the trauma of a person is not treated, but only aggravated.

To return or not to return after that to the church is the choice of a person. Even the Lord does not encroach on free will, and even more so it is not appropriate for a psychologist to do this. In the case of religious trauma, the main tasks of a psychologist are to help a person overcome traumatic circumstances and gain the necessary stability. Sometimes such a departure and rethinking leads to a conscious coming to church: a person goes to God, and not to solve his psychological problems.

Are there scammers among Orthodox psychologists?

Frightened by the myths about psychology, they are purposefully looking for an Orthodox psychologist. In our country, psychological activity is not licensed. You can hang a cross around your neck, go to church a couple of times, listen to a couple of popular lectures and declare yourself an Orthodox psychologist on the Internet, saying any nonsense that sounds close to the topic. But in most cases, this is not a scam, but charlatanism, since the people themselves who are engaged in such counseling are often confident in their approach.

If a psychologist gives advice to be healed by fasting, prayer and pilgrimage to holy places - this is not a psychologist

It is not difficult to distinguish a charlatan from a real psychologist. First, you should pay attention to how categorical a person is. If he imposes his opinion, then this is most likely not a very good psychologist. You can also see what a person writes in his social networks. Secondly, you should be wary if you see that a person does not distinguish between the area of ​​responsibility of a psychologist and a clergyman. If a psychologist gives advice to be healed by fasting, prayer and pilgrimage to holy places - this is not a psychologist. Third, we need to see how he negotiates the result. Some pseudo-psychologists believe that since a person has come, it means that he must be churched, whether he wants it or not.

The Lord, of course, is strong, he works miracles, but if a person has appendicitis, you can pray and wait for his healing, or you can call an ambulance

What do Orthodox psychologists think about depression?

The fact that depression and despondency are the same thing is a terrible delusion. Differential diagnosis is important here, because these are different conditions. From an ascetic point of view, despondency is a disease of the will, and depression is, from a scientific point of view, an imbalance of neurotransmitters. Also, the state of depression for a person is unpleasant and unnatural. And despondency, like any passion, is even pleasant at first: “But shouldn’t I go down and relax?” There is also cheerful despondency - when a person seems to be busy, but with some kind of nonsense.

First you need to exclude or confirm depression. I always explain to priests the danger of depression, as well as the danger of applying to it all the ascetic remedies that are recommended for despondency. If a person with clinical depression is advised to fast more, pray more and aggravate ascetic exploits, his disorder will progress - very quickly and with an increased risk of suicide. By the way, even those priests who do not like psychology understand this. I tell them about the symptoms and say that if at least some of them are present, your task is to delicately, tactfully send the person to a psychiatrist. The Lord, of course, is strong, he works miracles, but if a person has appendicitis, you can pray and wait for his healing, or you can call an ambulance.

Atheists from Afisha Daily go to an Orthodox psychologist

We decided to test how Orthodox psychotherapy works in practice, so we sent atheists from the editorial office to talk to various Orthodox psychologists about their problems.

Vika Lobanova

Chief editor of the section "Beauty"

I waited an hour for my session - a man with a “real problem” came to the Orthodox psychologist Svetlana Azarevna Shvetsova, and I thought about my unreal one on my own, sitting on a bench near the Church of the Resurrection of Christ. Svetlana Azaryevna advises individually and conducts group receptions in the refectory of this very temple near the Semenovskaya metro station, and at the same time teaches at the Russian Orthodox University of St. John the Theologian.

Before the meeting, I read what they usually talk about for the first time (about family, study, work - about background), how to formulate the problem correctly (no way, more precisely - as you want, and formulate it, the task of a psychologist is to hear you), than in an ideal the world should end with an hour of conversation (work plan for the future). I realized that I don’t have huge problems or I don’t see them, but there is something to discuss. My trust is arranged like this: I can tell a stranger something that I can’t even formulate in private with myself, so everything should definitely go well.

She - it seemed so to me - in a condescending mode with a sad smile, decided that I was “a kind and bright little man with a high level of hope”, therefore “everything will be fine”

The first question - what do I feel after waiting an hour for a meeting to which I arrived on time - immediately aroused sympathy, but the sharp transition to “you” after my answer, on the contrary, repelled me. The psychologist mentioned several times that our technique was playful, so we didn’t want to talk about serious things. It was not even unpleasant - everyone was aware of the experiment. We discussed my age, education and family - Svetlana Azaryevna carefully wrote down everything on paper and drew diagrams of family ties. She tried to apply the Zeigarnik effect to me - I said that I didn’t understand what it was, and she explained in detail that this is a phenomenon of remembering unfinished actions: we forget what we successfully completed rather than what we failed to complete. Once she mentioned the holy fathers, on whose wisdom Orthodox psychology seems to be based - without edification and pressure, as simply as she could refer to Jung. She listened carefully and asked questions, but did not help to look for answers. Perhaps I should have thought of something myself, but I didn’t succeed either five years before this reception, or in the half hour that it was. We talked about everything a little, and it seems that there are no taboo topics at such a consultation in principle.

And towards the end of the meeting, we began to walk in circles. Different formulations of the same question led me to a self-evident answer, but I deliberately didn’t voice it - it’s obvious, but I came for another one that I can’t find myself. Soon this, apparently, bothered the psychologist too. She - it seemed so to me - with a condescending smile decided that I was "a kind and bright little man with a high level of hope", therefore "everything will be fine."

This was (apart from the comical experience while studying abroad) my first trip to a psychologist, and despite the fact that I love uberized appointment services for everything through the application - from a massage therapist to a gynecologist. I have before my eyes examples of friends, both desperate and revived after therapy, and, of course, I want to try it for myself. If such a service was invented and launched by the ROC, I would go without hesitation. As for me, an Orthodox psychologist is no different from a non-Orthodox one - they are all sometimes late.

I recently received a degree in psychology, so it was especially interesting for me to see how my Orthodox colleagues work. Over the past few years, I have worked intermittently with counseling psychologists, primarily in transactional analysis and humanistic psychology. In simple terms, our work was aimed at teaching me how to build an internal dialogue and clearly separate the concepts of “I want” and “I need”.

I cannot say that the approach of the psychologist Mikhail Leonidovich Kotlyarevsky was seriously different. It seemed to me that in his case, “Orthodox” is not so much about the paradigm in which he works, but about clients: Mikhail mainly works with believers, church-going people.

The church should not act as a controlling body that tells a person what to do, but rather as a friend and adviser

My experience shows that you need to match the consultant: the psychologist must be pleasant to you so that you can really work with him. In our case, this did not happen - it was extremely inconvenient for me to discuss my problems with Mikhail. This is due not so much to his professionalism or some peculiarities of his approach, but to simple human differences.

Our session took place in the noisy and crowded cafe "Grabli" on Pushkinskaya - this greatly interfered with the conversation, since it was quite difficult to listen and speak. In our conversation, I did not notice any elements of the sermon. Mikhail in his work primarily relies on some basic humanistic principles and tries to combine the approaches of various psychological currents. According to the Orthodox consultant, regardless of the degree of religiosity, a person must build an internal dialogue himself and understand what is really important to him. The church should not act as a controlling body that tells a person what to do, but rather as a friend and adviser.

We discussed the problem of loneliness, which is quite significant for me. Since our meeting was the first and, moreover, partly forced (after all, it was an editorial experiment), we did not manage to work with my request in detail, but Mikhail told several stories of his clients. For example, he worked with an elderly woman who was depressed due to loneliness. In the course of the work, the consultant managed to shift her focus from her own problems, which could not be solved, to the problems of others. The pensioner began to help organize pilgrimage tours and through this she was able to overcome the feeling of abandonment and uselessness.

It seems to me that it is definitely worth contacting an Orthodox consultant in cases where religious beliefs come into conflict with desires and the surrounding reality. According to Mikhail, believers often give priests the role of parents who dictate to them what to do, praise them or punish them. And many clergy take up this role.

Olga Chukovskaya

Editor of the "Beauty" section

And with psychology, and with religion, I have not established any connection - we wonderfully live without each other, do not get bored and do not complain. I visited a psychologist once in my life at the request of another person - and I didn’t get anything worthwhile for myself from there. With faith, things are the same - the parents did not consider it necessary to guide us and rather supported the natural self-development. In general, I am open to everything new, so I went to an Orthodox psychologist without any prejudice, from scratch.

“Homosexuality is a kind of deviation that should be worked out with a psychotherapist, not a psychologist”

Orthodox psychologist Irina Anatolyevna Rakhimova works on Tverskaya Street in a historic building built on the site of the Savvino-Storozhevsky Monastery. In 2000, part of the building was given to the church - and then a gallery of Russian and Byzantine icons appeared here, as well as the Orthodox Family help center.

Since I have no experience with a psychologist, the first minutes of our meeting passed in awkward silence. I didn't know how to behave. Can't I come to a person and just start talking about problems? In the end, I started: I described my work, family and leisure activities, but we could not find at least any problem. Then I started asking questions that interested me for the material.

“We will always support the institution of marriage and will never support adultery or having lovers, unlike secular psychologists.”

She found out that Irina Anatolyevna does not consult homosexuals, but not because she has any position on them, but because she believes that this is not in her competence: “Homosexuality is a type of deviation that should be worked out with a psychotherapist, and not with a psychologist. We are silent. Then I ask questions about family counseling, and everything is clear: “We do not give advice, but help to understand the situation. We will always support the institution of marriage and will never support infidelity or having lovers, unlike secular psychologists. There are situations where divorce is the only solution, but I try to bring the person to the heart of the problem and try to find solutions together. If sermons and prayers help a person, well. And we will help you figure out what exactly you need to ask God for.

Irina Anatolyevna works not only with the Orthodox, she also accepts Muslim couples or people with an indeterminate religion (like me). I began to talk about my slight feeling of embarrassment at the first session, and Irina Anatolyevna told a story from her work experience: “One time the husband of a regular client came to me. At the first session, he came in with his briefcase, sat down in an armchair and put the briefcase on his knees - he sat there for an hour. In the second session, he placed the briefcase near the chair. On the third, the briefcase remained near the window, and the posture in the chair became more relaxed. This story amused me, relaxed me a little, but did not help to establish a dialogue.

There is an opinion that after visiting a psychologist, a person should feel relaxed, open to everything new, inspired and fluttering. It was clearly not the case for me. I went out, checked my work email, and got on with my life.

Perhaps, in my life there have not yet been situations that I would like to discuss with a professional. May I advise Irina Anatolyevna? Rather yes than no. The format of the experiment did not quite fit: the psychologist knew that I was a journalist, but I knew that I had no acute problems. As for religiosity, here I also did not notice anything, except for the icons that looked at us from the sideboard. Irina Anatolyevna is a pleasant and accommodating person, she may well help to deal with herself, I just don’t know about it. She also offers cookies for free.