Biographies Characteristics Analysis

Pleasant positive impression of modern. Make an impression

Men are by nature conquerors, as a result of which they often want to make a good impression on the beautiful half of humanity. Before embarking on a full-scale operation, you need to get rid of possible complexes. You should not feel awkward and nervous when communicating with a girl. If you do not eliminate these factors, they will pull you back. Confident men lead women behind them, and ladies are happy with this turn of events.

Step #1. Become a positive hero

Stay confident. Become the one whom the girl wants to see as a life partner. Keep a positive dialogue, tell interesting stories from life. Do not create a vulgar subtext, such actions are very repulsive, especially in the first days of communication.

Be kind, well-mannered, gallant and sociable. Let the girl see you as a future boyfriend. In cases where you consider yourself unworthy of attention, start working on personal growth. Pessimists are encouraged to become at least a quarter optimists.

Instead of complaining about the hard fate to friends and family, look for the positive side. A good mood increases self-esteem, you will become a good conversationalist and begin to take life in a positive way. These are the guys girls like: funny, resourceful, cheerful.

Step #2. Show your talents

Think about what you can do. Perhaps you play the guitar well or understand cars? Do you drive a motorcycle or love go-karts? Can you play volleyball, basketball or football?

Fine! Choose an activity in which you excel. Invite a girl to watch your reporting concert or a game between teams. You can ride a motorcycle together (win-win).

Perhaps the lady will not appreciate the talents, but it is necessary to give her the opportunity to decide on her own. This is a sign of trust, not boasting: you let the girl into your world without demanding anything in return.

Step #3. Show your individuality

You do not need to adapt to it, you are a person, with your own views, opinions and priorities. Nobody likes sloppy men. Exude individuality in actions, words, answer questions with reason. If you start to indulge a girl, she will quickly lose interest.

Poke her and joke, do what you like. Talk about hobbies, pets, interesting movies and series. Most importantly, don't be silent. At this stage, you can already create sexual overtones. Periodically touch the girl's hand and lean closer to hear her words.

Step number 4. Look after yourself

You will not be able to win the attention of a lady if you do not follow the appearance, demeanor, speech. Visit the hairdresser and get a creative haircut that will make you stand out from the crowd.

Go shopping, buy some branded shirts, good jeans and shoes. Watches and French perfume will not be superfluous. Choose high-quality perfumes that do not begin to give off alcohol after a couple of hours. If a girl does not remember what you are wearing, she will definitely catch a pleasant sexy scent coming from you.

Sign up for a gym or a kickboxing section, get your body in shape. Everyone knows that ladies drool on pumped up guys. Whoever claims otherwise are arrogant liars.

Step number 5. Write a message

Take her phone number under a plausible pretext. For example, show that you need it in terms of studies or arrange to repair the car. When she gives the number, write a message. Say hello and introduce yourself, ask about business, the day before, or pets. Whatever, the main thing is to state the thoughts that need to be answered.

Do not write monotonous “clear”, “understandable”, such messages cut the connection in the bud. Try to stretch the conversation, do not limit yourself to two messages. If you notice that the girl has stopped responding, put her 100 rubles. to the phone. Perhaps she simply does not want to talk, but your move will oblige her to answer.

Many will say, “You don’t need to force communication on a lady,” this opinion is erroneous. A woman needs to be conquered, they don't like guys who come to everything ready. Show patience and perseverance. Try to insert emoticons in moderation, do not overdo it, but do not write dry language.

Step number 6. Take an interest in her life

Ask more personal questions, but be careful. If a girl has problems in the family, she will make it clear. In this case, the conversation must be changed.

Avoid sensitive topics like ex-boyfriends, conflicts with girlfriends, and disagreements in the religious sphere. Focus on pets, it's a win-win.

Try to find common ground. Find out about her musical preferences, ask what genre of films she likes, ask about her dreams and plans.

Talk a little about your studies/work, hobbies and free time. Try to remember everything you hear so that in the next conversation you can say with confidence: “Yes, I remember that this is your favorite color.”

Step number 7. Communicate in a common company

Get a girl's attention by being around friends. It's good if you manage to organize everything so that you find yourself in one company. Be polite, do not swear, look after her, but not intrusively. In cases where such an opportunity is not available, join her circle of acquaintances.

Approach their group during a break from school, say hello cheerfully and start a topic of conversation (by any means). Avoid awkward pauses in communication, fill them with past events and other interesting things. No need to linger for a long time, 10-15 minutes of daily conversations are enough.

By your actions, you will already attract her attention, especially if you behave a little boldly (not to be confused with rudeness). Try to call the lady to an open dialogue, the method will work, because the girl will not expect such a turn of events.

Step number 8. Ask her out

Do not pull the cat by the tail, act confidently. During the next meeting, chat for a while, then pretend to be in a hurry. In between times, mention “Shouldn’t we go somewhere together? There's a nice cafe on the corner." The girl simply does not have time to figure out what's what, so she subconsciously answers with consent.

If she starts referring to being busy, coming up with ridiculous excuses, blushing and getting nervous, say directly “I’ll pick you up at eight! Say the address." Such a move can only be made when you are sure of mutual sympathy.

Show yourself on the good side, show good manners, kindness and openness. Do not fold your arms over your chest while talking, be confident. Invite her to watch a football game, offer to invite her friends for the company. Start a conversation via SMS, be interested in the life of a girl, join her company. Do not touch sensitive topics, be individual, do not hesitate to express your opinion.

Video: how to impress a girl

Everyone is familiar with the concept of “first impression”, but not everyone knows how to make a good impression on people, fill the meeting with only positive emotions and make the interlocutor have a positive opinion of you.

By the way, the first impression can even be deceptive, and only during subsequent communication does a person reveal the true negative or positive qualities of character. Therefore, you should not draw conclusions and judge a person after the first meeting. Another thing is if you have a goal. To do this, you need to positively influence the interlocutor and make a good impression on him.

So, if you want to make a good impression on a person, you need to know a few rules and stick to them accordingly.

Appearance, hairstyle, clothes.

As the proverb of antiquity says, "They meet by clothes, but see off by the mind." If you want to succeed, then pay special attention to your appearance, make sure that your clothes are neat, hair and nails are clean.

Also, do not forget that if you want to make a good impression on a person and the meeting, for example, is of a business nature, then you should choose the appropriate clothes, it can be a business suit or stick to minimalism. Bright and revealing outfits are best left for another occasion and for another event.

Be yourself.

Behave naturally, not forcedly, freely. It is clear that you are worried about how to make a good impression on the interlocutor, but if he notices falseness and pretense in your actions and words, he will not be able to trust you and this will repel him not only from you, but also from further meetings.

Listen.

In a conversation with strangers or already familiar people, you should at least observe the rules of etiquette and decency. Your speech should be cultural and correct, be sincerely interested in the topic of conversation and keep the conversation going, do not interrupt the interlocutor. Also try to address the interlocutor by name more often, scientists have proven that this is conducive to communication.

Be kind.

It is always a pleasure to communicate with an educated, well-mannered, intelligent person who is also friendly to everything. Smile more often and do it sincerely, say compliments and nice words to the interlocutor, praise him and emphasize positive qualities. A strained and feigned smile, a gloomy face, excessive seriousness can only alert the interlocutor, respectively, this will not have the best effect on further communication.

Be confident.

The interlocutor will definitely feel your excitement, insecurity, fear, fear. This will not alienate the interlocutor, but will confuse him and your communication will no longer be so trusting and sincere. He can also subconsciously perceive this uncertainty as ignorance of his business, if this, for example, concerns sales. Accordingly, this certainly does not characterize you as a competent and knowledgeable specialist who can be trusted.

End the conversation right.

In order to really make a good impression on people, you must have the ability to properly end a conversation.

Be sure to be in a good mood, smile, even if something embarrassed you or you didn’t like it. Tell the interlocutor a few compliments, a few nice words, but don't overdo it, a couple of compliments will be enough. It would also be a good tone if you were the first to shake your hand and say that it was very pleasant for you to talk, and you are pleased with the meeting.

You need to remember the obligatory rule that must be observed during a chance meeting, an interview, a business or friendly meeting, a love date. This rule says that in any case, you must be positive, radiate only positive emotions and joy, and then you will be successful.

What questions will you find answered in this article?

  • Why listen to the news and read magazines before a meeting
  • and not alienate the interlocutor
  • Rules for Effective Communication
  • How the Spotlight and Active Listening Techniques Can Make a Lasting Impression

To succeed, you need to be able to negotiate with other people, this requires not only to pronounce words smoothly, but also to turn communication into pleasure. I have observed many times how people did not follow the elementary rules in a conversation and because of this they lost valuable contacts (see also How not to alienate the interlocutor). By studying situations, I have formulated rules for effective communication that will help you learn how to make a good impression, and the interlocutors - to feel comfortable in your company.

and not alienate the interlocutor

Don't leave home without breaking news. Before the meeting, turn on the radio or TV, look through the newspapers, look on the Internet. News is a good conversation starter. In addition, you will avoid stupid situations when you are asked to comment on recent events, and you do not know what it is about.

Prepare answers to the most frequently asked questions in advance. For example, to a question about your studies, you can answer that you are an economist, engineer, etc. But this is not enough to start a good conversation. It is better to add one or two interesting details, for example: “I am a lawyer. Our firm specializes in labor disputes. I'm currently pursuing one case in which the defendant is an employer who asked candidates too personal questions during a job interview."

Don't give one word answers. It is very difficult to carry on a conversation when the interlocutor answers “yes”, “no” or “I don’t know” to any question. Strive to give detailed answers, then your communication will develop more naturally.

Call the interlocutor by name. A proper name is the most pleasant word for every person. Therefore, calling the interlocutor by name, you immediately arouse sympathy in him.

Communicate with the interlocutor in his language. If you are talking to a person working in a different professional field, try to use terms from his vocabulary, this will facilitate mutual understanding.

Look for key words in the interlocutor's answers. Often people themselves suggest what topics are close to them. For example, you complain about heavy rain, and your counterpart suddenly says that this is important for plants. Probably, this topic is close to him.

: 7 Rules for Effective Communication

Rule 1Think about the topics of the conversation

If you have to meet a person for the first time, find out as much as possible about him (age, financial situation, interests). Use pages on social networks that are very informative. If they are not there, then there will be important links about professional activities. Any information will help to informally start a conversation.

I will give an example from practice. We were preparing a serious meeting between the two leaders. We learned about one of the interlocutors that in his youth he was fond of the sea. We used this in small things: we put the prepared documents in a folder with a marine theme, and placed anchors. Thus, important files did not go unnoticed: a person paid attention to them, just subconsciously reaching for a pleasant thing for himself.

Rule 2. Correctly position yourself relative to the interlocutor

Keep your distance. In our culture, it is not customary to be too close to a partner when talking. Determine a comfortable distance. Research recommends 60 cm (arm's length). In the rules of etiquette, this distance is defined as personal space. If you are too close, the person will feel uncomfortable and, not understanding what is happening, will decide that he does not like you. It is better for a woman and a man to sit away from each other: a small distance can be perceived as flirting.

Position your chair at an angle to the other person's chair. You should not sit directly in front of a person, otherwise subconscious mechanisms that trigger manifestations of aggression may work. Move a few centimeters to the side, and the reasons for unpleasant emotions will disappear. I was approached by a man who was about to have a serious conversation with his boss about being fired. I advised him to change their usual position relative to each other: move the chair to the side so as not to sit opposite the boss, change the posture a little. The conversation was peaceful - the dismissal did not take place.

Sit with your back against a wall for confidence. To make your partner feel comfortable, also invite him to sit with his back to the wall. If your plans are to unsettle the interlocutor, try to make him turn his back to the door.

Rule 3Start a conversation with abstract topics

One of my clients found himself in a difficult situation during negotiations in Lithuania: from the first minutes he started talking about business, and the conversation soon ended - the partner refused to communicate. It turned out that in this country it is customary to talk about abstract topics before a business conversation. I often noticed this in Russia too: if one of the interlocutors immediately turns to business issues, his partners tense up, and this inevitably sets them against him.

Discuss neutral topics before getting to the point. For example, if you know that your counterpart has a dog, ask about it; if you know that his child is going to university, ask a neat question about this topic.

Rule 4To make a lasting impression, btalk more about the other person than about yourself

Most people tend to talk mostly about themselves: how well they are doing, about their family. But the secret to successful communication is to talk more about the other person. Show interest - ask open-ended questions that do not require one-word answers, such as: "How do you spend most of your free time?" The results will not keep you waiting: people will be more willing to talk about themselves, and you will be considered an interesting and attentive interlocutor.

You can use the "spotlight beam" technique proposed by Leila Launders, an American expert in the field of psychology of communication and communications. When talking to a person, imagine that a large spotlight is shining from above: when you speak, the rays are directed at you. The longer the spotlight shines in the opposite direction from you, the more interesting you will be to the interlocutor. Leila Launders gives this example: “A few years ago, a friend and I went to a party where the “cream of society” gathered. Everyone with whom we spoke turned out to be a bright and extraordinary personality. When we shared our impressions between conversations with other people, I asked my friend: “Diana, with whom of all these people who were present at the evening did you like to communicate the most?” Without hesitation, she replied: “Oh, with Dan Smith, of course!” “Who is he and what does he do?” I asked. “Well, I don’t know for sure…” the friend replied. "Where is he from?" "I don't know," Diana replied. “Well, what are his interests in life?” “You see, we didn’t talk about his hobbies.” "Diana," I asked. “And what were you talking about?” “I think we mostly talked about me” 1 .

1 Leila Launders. How to talk to anyone and about anything. M.: Kind book, 200 2. - Note. editions.

Rule 5Practice active listening skills

In addition to the spotlight technique, use the active listening approach, which is a simple technique that helps the interlocutor reveal more information. It consists in the active expression of one's own experiences. I will list some methods.

Nod in agreement. So you express approval and invite the interlocutor to continue.

Use complementary words: “I understand”, “really”, “very interesting”, “good”, etc. A person needs to be aware that you are not just listening to him, but are on the same wavelength with him.

Ask clarifying questions, such as “What did you do in this situation? How did it all end? In this way, you help your partner open up and encourage them to continue the conversation.

From experience, I can say that if one of the interlocutors is good at active listening skills, then the second one does not even notice how quickly time flies.

  • Planning your time: step by step instructions from time management gurus

Rule 6Give compliments

Many people make the same mistakes: they make banal compliments or say them very quickly, as if in between times. This devalues ​​the compliment, and he loses the right energy. Find in the interlocutor a detail that can be noted, and tell him about it. A man really appreciates when he is told that he has a firm handshake. If we are talking about a business partner - a woman, then a high assessment of her business qualities is accepted with much more gratitude than compliments regarding her external merits.

It is important to remember that in compliments, personal topics should be left out of brackets. It is better to evaluate the atmosphere of the office, the design of business cards, note the competence of the partner's employees - everything that you paid attention to. I will give an example from practice. I attended a meeting of two leaders, a man and a woman I knew. They tried to negotiate a joint event. The woman was of a dense physique and on the eve of the meeting she got a manicure, which, in her opinion, emphasized the thickness of her hands very unsuccessfully. The director of the company where we came, on the contrary, noted how beautiful the manicure looked. When the meeting ended, my friend told for a long time how unpleasant it was for her to hear about the color of her nails. She regarded the compliment as low flattery, which finally turned her against this man. The deal fell through.

CEO speaking

Konstantin Belov, General Director of PowerGuide, Moscow

I will share my rules of effective communication.

  1. Listen without interrupting. This is the most complex rule of effective communication and at the same time its most important rule. It will help you make a lasting impression the first time. It would seem that there is nothing easier, but try to remain silent if you are told well-known things for several minutes. You have to make serious efforts to let a person finish calmly.
  2. delve into. By listening, I mean not only your silence when someone else is speaking, but also your efforts to understand the meaning of what was said. This behavior means that you recognize the partner as an equal party in the conversation.
  3. State your interests directly. During communication, each of the participants pursues their own goals, which they do not want to talk about directly because of their delicacy. Therefore, if you, for example, are negotiating a loan restructuring, inform the partners of your understanding of the fact that one of the parties will definitely try to take advantage of the current situation in their own interests. By immediately clarifying the unannounced agenda, you will save yourself and others from empty chatter.
  4. Do not pull with the main. Remember how during meetings everyone is annoyed by speakers who beat around the bush. This behavior is often associated with the fear that the interlocutors will not perceive the main thing if they are not told all the details. This fear is partially justified, but the risk that you simply will not be listened to, as a rule, is higher. Therefore, try to build a conversation according to the principle: first the main thing, then the details.
  5. Do not rise at the expense of interlocutors. Self-assertion during negotiations is expected and normal. However, never do this at the expense of the interlocutors. You should not demonstrate to a person that you are better than him, it is more correct to show that you are the same. Avoid comparing knowledge and achievements in areas that are not directly related to the subject of the conversation. For example, if the interlocutor made a mistake in a quote, there is no need to correct him (see also the figure).
  6. Rehearse. Speak key lines aloud. It is useful to record them on a dictaphone. After listening to the recording, you will understand what needs to be changed. Having spoken out loud the main theses, you will feel much more confident during the conversation itself.

How to make a lasting impression and get rid of controversy

  1. Find two or three helpers. These should be people who know you well, whose judgments you trust. Offer them a ready-made list of negative qualities (sharp, arrogant, stubborn, petty…) and ask them to mark those that they think are inherent in you. Be patient, this can be frustrating.
  2. Do not under any circumstances argue with your assistants and do not try to turn their words against them. But you can clarify: “And often I behave ... (sharply, stubbornly, pettily, etc.)?”
  3. With your answers in hand, start tracking your relationships with other people over the course of a few weeks. Identify and fix in your behavior the annoying signs that your friends have pointed out.
  4. If you learn to notice flaws, you can get rid of them by developing more constructive behaviors (for example, reduce your assertiveness in negotiations if it is perceived by people as harshness, and replace it with active listening).
  5. After two or three months, you will find that it has become much easier for you to establish contact with people.

Adapted from Mark Goulston's I Hear Through You

For the most part, we do not know how to behave when we are going to a very important meeting for us. And here the question arises: how to make a good impression? Here are some tips to always look decent. And it doesn't matter that it is a job interview, a first date with a young man (girl), any other meeting that is very important for you.

How to make a good first impression

1. Be punctual

It is important to never be late. Plan in advance how to get to the meeting point. Try to be at the appointed time.

2. Wardrobe

A well-chosen wardrobe for each specific situation makes a good impression. Do not show off your entire arsenal of jewelry - chains and rings.

3. Be friendly

When meeting, introduce yourself, smile, shake hands with the interlocutor, look into the eyes, start the conversation first.

4. Know how to communicate

Speech should be calm, correct, cultured. Do not interrupt the interlocutor, show interest in his story - know how to listen. Remember to be sincere when speaking. After all, the first opinion is formed after the first minutes of communication.

5. Try to be confident

When you are confident in yourself, in your abilities - it is always visible and attracts the interlocutor. Behave naturally, do not go to extremes: do not think about how to act in order to attract attention to yourself, try to be yourself.

6. Gestures

Gestures are not the last place in the question of how to make a good impression? It should be understood that gestures and postures convey your mood and attitude towards the interlocutor. You need to be open to communication. Want to make a good impression? Then:

Do not cross your arms over your chest.

· Do not cover your face with your hands.

· Do not make sudden movements.

All these moments indicate that you are not interested, you are tense, closed, and therefore the impression of you will be negative.

7. Don't forget to end the conversation correctly:

· Be the first to give a hand and say how pleasant it was for you to deal with the interlocutor.

· Give a few compliments, but don't overdo it.

· Be in a good mood.

Remember that during: an interview, a first date, a business meeting, a casual acquaintance, it requires you to show only positive qualities. Therefore, you need to navigate the surrounding reality, be armed with some knowledge, and you will not have a question: How to make a good impression?

How do you create a good impression of a person?

Be the initiator of the dialogue, don't stand around and wait for someone to come up to you first and start a conversation. During the dialogue, do not skimp on compliments for the interlocutor, be interested in his affairs and problems, express your point of view.

In order not to embarrass a person, you should not behave too relaxed during a conversation. But at the same time, it is important not to be tense, but to try to behave naturally. Try to talk to people simply, without a haughty tone in your voice. To impress, don't be too serious, people might think you're proud and don't want to talk to them.

Support him in difficult times, unobtrusively ask about what worries him, and offer your help. Even if you cannot help in any way, the person will be pleased with your attention and your concern for him. Every person has strengths and weaknesses, to make a good impression and make people think positively of you, use your strengths and don't show your weaknesses.

Listen carefully to your interlocutor during a conversation. Find something in common, similar interests or the same attachments. This should unite you, it is easier for people to communicate with someone who is similar to themselves.

If you need to build a relationship with a colleague at work or school, try praising their achievements at work, or say that you like their appearance. When making compliments, be careful, the main thing is that the person perceives you correctly. And I didn’t think that you decided to make fun of him or just scoff.

How best to make a first impression

Society is a very important criterion in life. Each person lives in society and simply cannot exist without it. It is necessary to behave with people naturally. They say first impressions are deceptive. But it's not. The first acquaintance or meeting remains in the memory of a person forever. When communicating with people, you need to pay special attention to your behavior, you need to know what you can say and do, and what is better to abstain.

To make a good impression in an unfamiliar company or when applying to a university, never focus on yourself when interviewing for a job.

Probably, you have met an ugly person more than once who is clearly unpleasant to you, but thanks to his communication with you, you forget about all his external shortcomings, he seems to be filled with inner light and become so interesting that it is impossible to take your eyes off him and you want to communicate with him forever. How you present yourself at the first meeting will determine how you will be treated. If you show yourself on the good side, then you will definitely be the "favorite" of society.

There are ways that leave a good impression. Knowing them, people will definitely like you and receive respect and love from them.

First, in a new company, try to immediately understand the mood and preferences of people in order to quickly join it. Do not make it so that the whole evening people's attention is focused only on you, be moderately silent and modest.

Secondly, smile as often as possible when you first meet a person, be friendly, attentive, courteous.

Thirdly, when you first meet, try to remember the names of the people you met. Particular attention is paid to the pronunciation of the person's name, which contributes to his disposition towards you.

Fourth, learn to listen, because many people are very fond of talking about themselves.

Fifth, be confident in communicating with others and do not be afraid of the world around you.

Sixth, anxiety often gets in the way of making a good impression and showing your best side, so try to deal with it somehow.

Seventh, never compare yourself or anyone else to other people. Love yourself and respect others.

Eighth, you must have an attractive and neat appearance. The main thing is to remain yourself in any situation. Be sincere, polite and kind.

How to arouse a person's sympathy

Very often, you forgive a lot of things for a person you sympathize with - mistakes, blunders, as a rule, you treat this person more condescendingly. That is why people try to make others like them. To do this, you need to know how to present yourself correctly. There are a few simple rules with which you can arouse sympathy in the interlocutor and create a good overall impression.

Rule number 1. Smile! Try to always be in high spirits, but remember, a fake smile can hurt more than a frown.

Rule number 2. Ask for advice. Thanks to this approach, you kind of increase the self-esteem of the other person, and at the same time this attitude is not perceived as flattery.

Rule number 3. Ask your interlocutor, employee, acquaintance to provide you with a small, easy service for him. In case of refusal, be sure to thank him for listening to you. Next time, he will certainly fulfill your request.

Rule number 4. Try to create the appearance of similarity with your interlocutor, as people sympathize with those who are somewhat similar to themselves.

Rule number 5. Never skimp on compliments. Naturally, at first on business, and then, with closer communication, in order to make a good impression, you can compliment just like that.

Rule number 6. If you have different opinions with your opponent, do not immediately say that he is wrong, first agree with him in some small things, but then firmly express your opinion, then you will be treated with sympathy.

Rule number 7. Try to talk as little as possible and listen more! Many people have a sincere sympathy for those who know how to listen and not divulge secrets. If your interlocutor has decided to “cry” into your vest, listen to him and from time to time nod your head in the affirmative, as if approving him.

Rule number 8. Try to always look in good physical shape, do not lose your physical attractiveness, do everything to look younger than your years. This applies not only to women, but also to men.

Rule number 9. During a conversation, in order to make a good impression, try to mention the name of your interlocutor as often as possible, because the name is a kind of key to the soul of your opponent. And from a stranger, be sure to find out his name at the beginning of the conversation, so he will communicate with you more kindly.

Rule number 10. You should not start a conversation when you are upset or annoyed, as an annoyed person causes an unpleasant, that is, a negative reaction. So try to calm down before talking. Here are some simple tricks that will help you arouse sympathy in a person.

Many versions exist about the first impression. Is it important, can it be changed? This is discussed in the article.

  • The way we evaluate people, our subjective opinion about them, depends on what we ourselves are. As a rule, we see in people those traits of character that we ourselves have. At the same time, usually these are some negative qualities: envy, anger, laziness, pretense. That is, if a person has, for example, anger in large quantities, then he will also consider other people evil, cruel, aggressive
  • If a person often deceives other people, or dreams of deceiving, then it will seem to him that all the people around want to “cheat” him in turn. If a person is honest with himself and those around him, then it will never occur to him that he can be fooled somewhere. This is not a matter of naivety. Very often, such people are not kind at all and do not live in "rose-colored glasses", but they cannot foresee cases when they are used or deceived.
  • This is due to the fact that we interpret human behavior in relation to our own behavior. In other words, our subconscious (or unconscious) always asks itself: “What would I do?”. And from other people we expect the same actions that we could do ourselves.

By what criteria is a person evaluated in the first place?

People evaluate each other according to the following parameters:

  • appearance
  • level of education, diplomas, certificates
  • mental capacity
  • material condition
  • social behavior and social circle
  • character (strengths/weaknesses)


This is a short list. It lists the main factors for evaluating a person by a person. Of course, now it is customary to prepare that appearance is not the main thing, but it has been scientifically proven that it is the appearance of the interlocutor that makes the first impression on a person.

Some people first of all pay attention to some individual features. It can be hair, nose shape, shoes, lipstick color, even the shape of the eyebrows plays a role. Other people perceive the whole image at once.

  • The first to understand whether they like a person or not, just a second glance at what is paramount for them (hair, nails, shoes, jacket) is enough. After that, it usually becomes clear to them how communication will take place further, and whether it will be at all.
  • It is much easier for people who can perceive the image as a whole. For example, a person may have an imperfect nose, but clean, ironed clothes from the latest collection of a fashion designer. Most likely, such a person will make an extremely positive impression.
  • There is a small percentage of people who don't have a definite impression until they have personally interacted with the person. They do not care how a person looks, what color of hair he has, what he is wearing. For him, his intellectual abilities or character are important. On the other hand, it is enough for people of this type to talk with a person for 5 minutes to understand who is in front of him
  • A person tends to judge other people, focusing on someone else's opinion. Someone said something to someone, that's a new opinion. Therefore, it turns out that without knowing a person, we already hate or adore him.
  • Many people judge a person by their voice. In their opinion, the voice of a person contains his entire life path and character.


Are people judged by their appearance?

  • As mentioned above, some people tend to evaluate other people solely by their appearance, without delving into his problems and intellectual capabilities.
  • Unfortunately for such people, the image of a person can change very much during the day. For example, in the morning a woman walks around the house disheveled, with a mug of coffee and an outstretched T-shirt. If a neighbor sees her at this moment, he will consider this woman a slut and will be disgusted with her
  • But an hour later, the woman puts herself in order, puts on beautiful shoes, an office suit, consisting of a fitted jacket and a pencil skirt, puts her hair in a neat hairstyle, and does strict makeup. The same neighbor, seeing such a woman, will think that she is a real bitch with a snake disposition, cold and prudent
  • In the evening, a woman returns from work, puts on a luxurious short dress, looses her curls, puts on bright makeup and goes to the club. This time the neighbor will think that his neighbor is too vulgar and superficial
  • And if, instead of a club, a woman goes on a date and puts on a more closed dress, puts her hair in a less lush hairstyle, does not make such bright makeup, then the neighbor will say that she boasts of her wealth to the whole world or is looking for a rich companion, that she is usually sloppy, prudent bitch, and now dressed up for the occasion


From this example, it is very easy to conclude that a person’s appearance is judged very, very often. However, this has little to do with the truth.

First impression of a person

  • There is an opinion that the first impression of a person is the most correct. But is it
  • From the examples given earlier in the article, it is clear that people do not always judge each other objectively. Therefore, it makes no sense to be upset if, in the first minute of meeting a person, he did not like you, there is not much
  • A certain part of people can easily change their impression within a few hours, or even days, of dating

Appearance and first impression

  • Do not miss the opportunity to make a good first impression with the help of appearance. It is clear that each person has their own tastes and preferences. It's basically impossible to please everyone.
  • Nevertheless, in order to form a good opinion about yourself at the first meeting, it is enough to "join" the team if the acquaintance occurs immediately with a group of people. It is useful to know what these people are interested in in order to show them your interest in their activities. Your appearance should also correspond to the general style.
  • If you meet a person 1 on 1, you should not put pressure on him and show your “I”. Yes, even your appearance can scream: “Look at me! I'm in charge here!" There is nothing better than natural

The first impression of a man

Making a positive first impression on a man is easy enough, contrary to public opinion.

First of all, men pay attention to:

  1. figure, especially in the "back view"
  2. manner of communication
  3. posture
  4. hair
  5. nails. Very long or dirty nails turn men off
  6. clothes

To make a good impression on a man, it is not at all necessary to jump around him for hours. It is enough to be direct and natural in dealing with him. Don't be vulgar or overly rude. It is useful for men to forgive help in some situations, even if you don’t really need it. But you should not ask them to calculate the cost of products for you, for example. You will make yourself look stupid.

Many men do not like very bright colors in clothes and makeup. This causes them appropriate associations. But the overwhelming majority of men like grooming and femininity.

It is very difficult to change a man's first impression of himself. Unlike women, men are more logical and consistent. But they cannot think as flexibly as a woman. Therefore, it is very difficult for them to change the first impression.


How to form a positive first impression?

There are certain rules that will help you leave a good impression of yourself after almost every acquaintance:

In fact, you can change your impression of yourself. But this will be the second, third or fourth impression. But the first impression leaves a mark on all further communication. Especially in its early stages.

Of course, people tend to change, but when applying for a job, the employer will judge you at this point in time, he doesn’t care much about what you will be like in 5 or 10 years. He chooses an employee now, and therefore judges you in the present tense. Therefore, it is always important to look good, because there is no second chance to make a first impression.


First impression mistakes

It is worth remembering that what we see depends on how we look. It is worth looking at a person a little differently, and from an impudent arrogant type he turns into a sweet smiling young man, always ready to help.

Due to a lack of life experience or knowledge, a person very often judges incorrectly. In the article, an example was previously given with a neighbor and a girl. Such a neighbor is just an example of a narrow-minded and petty person. Of course, you should not rely on the opinion of such people. If you recognize yourself in the person of your neighbor, immediately change your views on the world. First of all, evaluate your mistakes.

First impression is deceptive

The first impression is deceptive for people who are used to not changing their minds about people. Those who have a flexible mind are able to assess a person correctly and see him for who he really is.

You can dress as you like. Dye your hair any color. The person will not change. He won't get smarter or smarter. But the opinion about him with each of his transformations will change in a diametrically opposite direction.

Video: How to make the right first impression