Biographies Characteristics Analysis

I have a difficult life situation. Help in a difficult life situation

In the life of each of us there are difficult life situations, and we all react to troubles in our own way and look for a way out of a difficult situation in different ways. Some put up and adapting "go with the flow." Others are looking for a way out of a difficult life situation with the help of actions aimed at overcoming problems and troubles. Someone withdraws into himself and instead of trying to somehow overcome the difficulty, he prefers not to notice it. And many, cursing fate, only complain about a difficult life and, in fact, without solving any problems, fall into depression.

It is possible to generalize the behavior of people in difficult situations and describe ways of overcoming difficulties according to the transformation strategies that are used in these situations: co-ownership (adaptation and overcoming), protection and experience. But before we talk about them in detail, a few words about the concept of "difficult life situation".

So the concept of "difficult life situation" is interpreted by one of the Federal Laws of the Russian Federation - " Difficult life situation - this is a situation that directly disrupts the life of a person, which he is not able to overcome on his own". This law also gives several examples of difficult life situations - illness, disability, orphanhood, unemployment, insecurity and poverty, lack of a fixed place of residence, abuse, conflicts, loneliness, etc.

The Russian psychotherapist, Fedor Efimovich Vasilyuk, who studies aspects of difficult life situations, suggests understanding them as situations of impossibility in which a person faces the difficulty of realizing the internal needs of his life (aspirations, motives, values, etc.).

A difficult life situation is always characterized by a discrepancy between what we want (to achieve, do, etc.) and what we can. Such a discrepancy between desires and abilities and capabilities prevents the achievement of goals, and this entails the emergence of negative emotions, which signal the emergence of a difficult situation. A developing person, mastering and learning the world around him, but not possessing enough life experience, inevitably meet with something unexpected, unknown and new. The use of one's own abilities and capabilities in this situation may not be enough, therefore it can cause disappointment. And any difficult life situation leads to disruption of activity, deterioration of existing relations with the people around us, gives rise to experiences and bad emotions, causes various inconveniences, which can have negative consequences for the development of the individual. Therefore, a person should know as much as possible about the possible options and ways.

Behavior Techniques People Most Often Use in Difficult Situations

Defense techniques - a group of non-adaptive (behavior that contributes to the emergence of severe mental distress) reactions to difficulties: depression, silent humility, depression, as well as avoiding difficult life situations and suppressing thoughts about the cause and source of the difficulty.

Overcoming - actions aimed at achieving success, changing and overcoming difficulties. They are associated with the expenditure of energy and with certain efforts; involves intense reflection aimed at solving a difficult situation, high level mental self-regulation, searching for the necessary information and involving other people in solving the problem.

By persistently transforming any difficult situation, a person changes greatly, but often these changes are unconscious and unintentional. However, sometimes the situation requires a conscious change in its characteristics, only in this case it is possible to achieve well-being and overcome difficulty. In this case, changing personal properties and attitudes to a difficult situation becomes the main strategy or an important component of another strategy.

DEVICE RECEPTIONS

  • Adapting to the Basic Moments of the Situation(social attitudes, social norms, rules of business relations, etc.). Having mastered this technique, a person freely enters the world of morality and law, labor, culture, family relations. In normal social conditions, this technique determines success. For example, it helps to get used to new working conditions (in this case, a person successfully passes a probationary period) or in case of moving to a new place of residence. However, if a person got into a difficult situation, in a situation of upheaval, when something has changed dramatically, where new rules have not yet been formed, and the old ones no longer apply - this technique will not help.
  • Adaptation to the characteristics and needs of others will be of great importance in a situation of social upheaval. The study of this technique showed that it is most often used in the crisis stages of the development of society. Next to it is another method of adaptation - concern for maintaining the existing establishment of new social contacts.
  • Choose a role for yourself and act in accordance with it. People use this technique in situations where the source of experiences and difficulties is their personal qualities and properties of their own character (for example, self-doubt or shyness), not allowing them to freely adapt to new living conditions, ask for help, etc. This technique consists in the conscious application of the identification mechanism. A person chooses to imitate a certain behavior model, it can be a movie character or a book character who embodies confidence, or a friend who has this missing quality. In a difficult life situation, he tries on the role of this character: he begins to behave differently, his gait, manner of speaking, his speech becomes persuasive He even begins to feel differently. Since he does not fully identify himself with the chosen role, but only “plays it,” he attributes all his failures and awkwardness to the chosen character, and not to himself. It helps to avoid embarrassment, to be more free from the opinions of others and do not reduce self-esteem when misses. With the right choice of role, it helps to cope with a difficult situation that arises in communication, and also causes tangible shifts not only in behavior, but also in one's own life values ​​and attitudes.
  • A commonly used form of adaptation is identification with more successful people or identification with serious and influential associations and organizations. People who have suffered disappointments and failures, who think they are a loser, sometimes resort to this technique. By identifying with a successful subject, they, as it were, add special abilities to themselves, and becoming an employee of an influential and authoritative organization, they not only get the opportunity to feel that they belong to it and talk about “our successes”, but also really begin to feel strong and act more successfully and effectively. confidently.
  • Technique for identifying the boundaries of one's own capabilities, as a rule, is used with a sudden change in life circumstances. The most striking example is a person who has become disabled. Once in such a difficult life situation, people are forced to drastically change their established way of life. At first, they learn about their capabilities. As a man walking through a swamp probes the ground, they analyze the measure of their remaining abilities and try to make up for what they have lost. It is worth noting that those who find themselves in unknown or complicated conditions also resort to house tactics.
  • Foresight and anticipation of events. This technique is used by people who have already had a sad experience of failure or are waiting for the imminent onset of an approaching difficult life situation (for example, a layoff, an upcoming operation, or the death of a sick relative). Anticipatory sadness or preconceived notions are adaptive and allow the person to mentally prepare for possible difficult trials and make a plan to prevent unfortunate circumstances. Like any other method of coping with a difficult situation, anticipatory coping, depending on a particular situation, can be both beneficial and harmful.

(+) An example of the productive use of anticipatory coping is the experience often used in some foreign hospitals in preparing young patients for the intended operation. Medical staff under the guidance of a qualified psychologist arrange special role-playing games, during which the situation of the operation is played. Such psychological preparation reduces the fear of children before the operation and significantly speeds up their recovery.

(-) A clear example of a uniquely unproductive anticipatory coping is the so-called "symptom of St. Lazarus", psychologists have identified it when working with some relatives of HIV-infected people. It consists in such an attitude towards the patient, as if he is already dead and mourned (sometimes it comes to the point that family members avoid all communication with the sick person, openly collect money for a wake and prepare for his funeral).

AUXILIARY METHODS OF SELF-PRESERVATION IN DIFFICULT LIFE SITUATIONS

These are methods of dealing with emotional failures, which, according to the subject, occur in connection with insurmountable difficult situations.

  • This is escape from a difficult situation. It occurs not only in physical, but also in a purely psychological form - by suppressing thoughts about the situation and internal alienation from it (this may be a refusal to promotions, from other tempting offers). For people who have experienced a large number of different failures and disappointments, this avoidance of dubious connections and situations often becomes a personality trait. For them, it is the last line of defense.
  • Rejection and rejection, traumatic, stunning and tragic event - another common method of self-preservation. Getting into a difficult life situation and faced with tragedy, rejection and denial of it, a person builds a psychological barrier on the way of penetration into his inner world of this traumatic and destructive event. He gradually digests it in small doses.

Techniques overcoming difficulties with the help of adaptation and transformation can be both secondary and basic for a person, both situation-specific and characteristic. The situation-specific are: "resistance", "adjustment of one's expectations", "hope", "use of chance", "self-affirmation", "identification with the fates and goals of other people", "relying on other people", "postponing the satisfaction of one's own needs”, “the manifestation of aggression in the form of action or unfounded criticism" and etc.

TECHNIQUES TO USE IN CASES OF FAIL

Here will be given the techniques that people use in the case when for overcoming difficult life situations there is no way to solve them. That is, a person who has fallen into an unpleasant situation has made every effort to somehow solve it, but the problem remains unresolved and he has no other choice but to simply admit that he has failed. He experiences this defeat as a collapse of his personality, because he set himself a difficult task, put so much effort, hoped, and even saw her solution as part of a future life. If a person has not experienced major failures and failures up to this time, he is overly vulnerable. In such a situation, a person tries in any way to maintain or restore a good attitude towards himself, a sense of his own well-being and dignity.

Most often in such cases, people try to discount failure by using psychological defense mechanisms that help reduce the burden of emotional experiences and do not require them to painfully reconsider their attitude towards themselves. Among these methods are:

  • Object depreciation. Failing to find way out of a difficult situation, in this case, having failed to achieve an important goal (get married, go to college, defend a dissertation, etc.), a person lowers its significance. Thus, he discounts his failure (" Do I need it?», « It's not the most important thing in life”) and writes the difficult situation into his biography as an insignificant episode.
  • Adjusting your hopes and aspirations. Since failure for most people is an unpleasant and difficult event that deprives a person of what he needs, he can resort to correcting hopes and expectations. Often this leads to minimization of needs. Of course, this method saves from failures, smooths out unpleasant sensations and experiences, but it impoverishes the future and in no way increases self-respect as a person.
  • Acceptance is the acceptance of a situation as it really is. In psychology, this technique is sometimes called "patience" or even more often they use the phrase "let go of the situation" (i.e. stop actions that do not bring results to change a difficult situation). This is not a silent response to difficult life circumstances, but a conscious decision made after analyzing the life situation and comparing your own plight with the even worse situation of other people. This technique can be applied in a situation of disability or serious illness.
  • Positive interpretation of your situation. This technique is similar to the previous one. It consists in using comparison options: people compare themselves with someone who is in an even more precarious position (“comparison goes down”), or recalls their merits and successes in other areas: “Yes, I didn’t succeed, but…” (“the comparison goes up”). Remember, one of the heroines of the popular film by E. Ryazanov “Office Romance” had such defensive phrases: “ I live outside the city, but next to the train», « My husband had a stomach ulcer, but Vishnevsky did the operation himself" etc.

In the life of each of us there are difficult life situations. Even in the most serene times, we face difficulties. For one, this is a job search or a change of residence, for another, it is their own illness or the illness of a loved one, divorce or the death of loved ones and relatives. So it was and always will be. Difficult life situations arise in the lives of children and adults, entire families and nations.

This article presents techniques and techniques largely related to adaptation to circumstances that can no longer be changed. There are opinions that such techniques indicate a passive strategy and an inability to cope with one's life. But in reality, everything is not so simple, because sometimes a temporary adaptation acts as a wise strategy for experiencing a difficult life situation, taking into account life prospects with their real features.

The simplest example is probationary period for employment dictates to a person the rules of the game to which he must adapt in order to get a job in a good place and be accepted in a new work collective. He knows, When is it better to be silent?, refuses self-affirmation and certain forms of behavior in favor of its future.

However, everyone has the right to independently choose those techniques and strategies from their repertoire that will help get out of a difficult life situation. Not always and not all of us are able to change. The most we can do is to take a sober look at the situation, focus our best efforts on changing what can be improved, and find ways to coexist with what cannot be changed.

If you find an error, please highlight a piece of text and click Ctrl+Enter.

We give advice right and left that there is a way out of any unpleasant situation, and not even one. We tune in to the positive and try to console others that not everything is as bad as it seems at first glance. But when we ourselves are overcome by troubles that are coming from all sides, the advice that we ourselves offered looks simply ridiculous and helpless.

What to do in a difficult life situation, where you see one dead end? There are practical tips on how to proceed in this case.

1. First of all, try to calm down and stop. No need to quickly rush into the pool with your head and take incomprehensible actions that can lead to even bigger problems. You need to pause and decide where you are and how you ended up in this position. Take some time to think about why it turned out the way it did, and not completely different. When you can find the entrance, then you will find the exit in one moment.

2. Effective advice on how to get out of the impasse is to get rid of the emotions that overwhelm you at that moment. Fear, anger, disappointment interfere with normal concentration in front of the resulting problem. Often, our negative emotions, which take on a huge scale, we make an elephant out of a fly, and it’s done, we don’t see any way out, one dead end. If you want to smash something to smithereens - do it, if you want to scream and swear - go ahead, give vent to your anger, do not keep destructive energy in yourself.

3. When you are overcome by complete devastation, only then will bright thoughts begin to come into your head and everything will become clear from a different angle. Prepare yourself tea with lemon and ginger, or make yourself hot coffee, energy drinks will help your brain work faster. Take a piece of paper and start writing down absolutely all ideas for getting out of an impasse, even the most absurd ones, in such cases all means are good.

4. Do not think alone, seek help from your comrades and loved ones who have not turned away in difficult times. There is a proverb "One head is good, but two is better." Perhaps they will offer their own options that will be useful to you, because sometimes it is more visible from the outside.

5. The next step will be a full analysis of the proposed ideas. Consider all the pros and cons. Make three thorough plans to get out of the crisis. Plan A and B are the most effective, and Plan C is the back-up. Clearly thought-out scenarios, several options, give much more percentage of success than one.

6. In a difficult life situation, gather your strength and spirit and begin to put into action your anti-crisis plan. Going step by step, not stepping back, you will achieve what you want and get out of the troubles surrounding your life, and understanding what to do will come by itself.

7. In difficult times, people who care about you and to whom you are very dear will help you survive misfortunes. Don't push them away or isolate them from your society, let them help you. You can even ask them for help yourself, in such situations you understand who the most devoted and faithful people are.

8. In our life, we rely a lot on circumstances, while realizing that they do not bode well. You can't do that. We create our own destiny, so pull yourself together and do not let circumstances take over you.

9. Another effective way to get out of a deadlock is to exclude people with. In the environment of each person, there is sure to be such a person who will exaggerate and lower faith in yourself. Such people do not see happiness and positive moments, they have only one negative around them. If possible, avoid them, do not let them lower your self-esteem, otherwise, you will panic and give up.

10. When you are in trouble, look for something that will motivate you during the time that you get out of the current situation. Strive to associate with those who believe in you and know that you can withstand any blow.

11. In difficult moments, you should not be afraid to take risks and think about mistakes, everyone has them. It will be stupidity that you will sit idly by. Each of your mistakes will be a lesson from which you will draw useful and necessary information for yourself.

12. Do not listen to those who say that they know how you better live and be. They will constantly remind you and poke you for past mistakes. Send them away from you, let them hang noodles on the ears of others, the same losers as they are. This is your life and only you can decide if you can get out of trouble or not. Believe in yourself and you will succeed. You are not a loser, but a winner!

In life you have to face a lot of different problems. It's an endless chain of ups and downs. It seems that in most cases the problem can be dealt with, but not everyone quickly gets back on their feet after a serious failure. Sometimes it hurts too much. But it's incredibly important to keep moving forward. Here are five helpful tips that will help you get through the traumatic experience more easily and teach you to look to the future with confidence.

Remember the hard times in life

It may seem like a bad idea, but it's not so simple - the thought of failure evokes sadness, but at the same time it helps to understand that any difficulty can be overcome. You were able to move on with your life. It usually seems that the problem broke life forever, so remembering similar disasters is very important. You become stronger with each new experience. Allow yourself to draw strength from your past, this is your priceless baggage.

Write or tell how you feel

Get away from the situation

It can be difficult to make rational decisions when you are in the middle of a problem. Of course, you shouldn’t run away from difficulties either, but you don’t need to plunge into a difficult situation with your head - this way you lose the ability to normally weigh all the arguments and sensibly assess your situation. This happens more often than you would like to admit. Try to abstract in every difficult situation, think about everything that happens calmly. Take a break. If you have tense relatives or colleagues around you, spend some time alone with yourself. Sometimes all it takes to solve a problem is just a little breather and a break for reflection.

Remind yourself that you are not alone

It's so easy to withdraw into yourself and feel completely alone, but remembering that someone who absolutely loves you is nearby is much more difficult. Sometimes such a person is not around in real life, but you can find support online. Whoever you are, there are people who care, who are ready to listen and support. Sometimes strangers can understand you better than you can. They also had similar problems, they understand your emotions. Maybe someone else is in the same situation as you right now. Just find this person.

Accept the situation and become stronger

No matter how difficult it may be, you should accept the situation and come to terms with what happened - the past cannot be changed anyway. It doesn't matter who is to blame for what happened. Just accept what happened and move on. Now you have a new experience that will help you deal with the same problem next time. You will be stronger and will not repeat your mistake. Life goes on, time never stands still, the main decision you can make is the decision to move on. Don't look back, everything has already happened. Just consider that now your character has become stronger, and be proud of yourself. You have experienced a difficult moment, but it does not define you or your whole life. Take a life lesson out of it and don't dwell on that memory again. A whole new life awaits you ahead of you, not related to this problem.

To terrible news, a painful life situation, whether it is a serious illness of a loved one or oneself, betrayal, divorce, loss, conflict at work, in the family or with a friend, each person reacts in his own way. But for everyone, this is an unpleasant surprise, maybe even a stab in the back. Such an event is a crisis for a person and his family, it completely changes life. It can become a stage of development, or it can become a step towards regression or a stop, or it can destroy the entire established way of life. In any case, after such news, life is divided into “before” and “after”.

How to cope with this and withstand the "blows of fate", how to build your life in order to solve the problem with the least losses, where to get the strength to endure, move forward and continue to live on? What to do in such a shocking stage.

Principles of survival in a crisis period

1. Support. Seek and find support from loved ones in your family and friends. When you feel supported, you will feel stronger and more secure. And you will already be a support for children and elderly parents (and not only), because your confidence, calmness and sanity are so important to them.

And if such a situation happened with a friend, how to help and how to support? Advice, general phrases can not help. You need to be there, even if there is a feeling that you are not doing anything useful. Very often it is enough to say: "I know that it hurts you, I'm here, I'm there." Healing begins when there is someone to keep silent about trouble or grieve together.

3. Do not hide what happened from family members. Nothing destroys a relationship like a family secret or secret. And besides this, it takes a lot of strength, so necessary at this difficult moment. The secret creates a sense of anxiety, others still feel that something is wrong, they may experience guilt, rejection (they are not trusted), etc.

4. Do not hide a difficult situation from friends. Friendship is not only for joint leisure, it is not for nothing that they say that a friend is known in trouble. With a friend there is an opportunity to speak out, with him you can be weak and defenseless, he will not condemn and understand everything. A friend will always help and support. Friendship is a huge resource.

5. Stay real with common sense and facts. Fear has big eyes, you can fantasize anything. Fear paralyzes and does not allow to analyze and act correctly in the current situation. Panic is more dangerous than the worst diagnosis or terrible news. At the same time, there is no need to be careless about what happened (everything will resolve itself). You should not escalate additional horror, but you should not embellish the situation either.

6. Cry. If you feel that tears are coming, cry. (Even if you know that men don't cry!) Tears relieve emotional stress, purify the soul, reduce the pain of a spiritual wound, and help to accept what happened. Unshed tears continue the destructive work inside the psyche, undermine health.

7. Stay positive. A crisis situation raises from the bottom of the psyche all experienced difficult situations - resentment, betrayal, conflicts, fears. “It’s not easy for me, but here it is! For what?" The main thing is not to go into negativity, cursing everything and everyone, not to enter the state of the victim, and lowering your hands to wait for the situation to be resolved. This is an opportunity to take an active position, to take the solution of all the problems of your life into your own hands, and at the same time deal with past traumatic situations. And ask yourself the right question - not “why do I need all this?”, But “why is this situation given?”.

But this can be done not earlier than strong grief, grief, does not turn into less intense feelings of sadness and sadness. The pain and shock of what happened does not go away quickly. You have to give yourself time. It must go through the burning process.

8. Understand what is happening to me. A difficult life situation greatly undermines the resource, all the forces are spent on somehow calming down and finding a way out. And when there is no strength, everything that previously slightly annoyed, interfered a little, begins to cause unbridled aggression, a conflict or quarrel can arise out of nothing. There is a growing fear of one's own powerlessness, the inability to control oneself and the situation. As a result, exaggerated importance is attached to what is not worth a damn. After all, it’s not for nothing that they say “trouble does not come alone.” There is only one way out - to understand what is happening to you, and to accept this state - not to fight it yet. Explain to others (you can not go into details - if you do not want to) that now is a difficult period in your life. If necessary, apologize politely. As soon as you stop fighting with yourself and others, you will have more strength, it will be easier to remain calm.

9. Understand that any situation is an acquired experience. A crisis situation is also getting rid of illusions. Epiphany can be bitter, but this is a meeting with reality, a person begins to understand what is really happening. The realization comes that not everything in life can be corrected, you can only survive. All you have to do is accept it and move on.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross scale

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, an American psychologist of Swiss origin, proposed a scale - the stages of a difficult, traumatic life situation. This scale helps to determine what is happening to you at the moment, and what will be the next stage. If you don't "get stuck" and allow yourself to go all the way and complete this experience of yours.

1. Shock, blow, shock. Sudden loss of strength.

2. Denial, rejection. - "No, it can not be!"

3. Anger and anger. Irritation and rage. Urgent search for the culprit.

4. Fear and depression. The appearance of depression is associated with rising feelings of shame and guilt. There is almost no energy, the resource drops to a minimum.

5. Sadness, sadness. Breakthrough feelings that heal the psyche. The first sign of acceptance.

6. Acceptance. A difficult event and a changed situation are taken for granted. The world has changed, and this no longer causes protest and confrontation. Energy begins to increase, strength arrives.

7. Farewell. There is a release of what it is time to say goodbye to. With the illusion of another life, with dreams, plans, hopes that were “before” and have sunk into oblivion.

8. Search for meaning and return. Everything that has happened begins to make sense. The experience gained is integrated and woven into the overall fabric of life. From that moment on, it becomes something that you can rely on. It becomes your property and part of your identity. You have become more mature.

9. Clarity and peace in the soul. The understanding came that the world around had changed and became different, but did not collapse. Something is gone forever, something had to say goodbye - with some plans, illusions, dreams, their own ideas about how it should be. Life crises are stages of development and maturation, a necessary change in order to live on. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Quite often in life we ​​are faced with a difficult situation when it is difficult to find the right solution or the correctness of one of the solutions is not obvious. Advice from relatives and all kinds of acquaintances, recommendations on how best to act specifically in your situation can only further complicate the matter, because sometimes they are contradictory or do not coincide with your desires. There are no universal recipes, but the following few theses, rules that always work will help to resolve the controversial situation in the best way.

  1. In order not to regret the decision made or not to doubt its correctness after some time, you need to abstract from the current situation. And for this you need to remember yourIt is possible that not all of your decisions will be consistent with your values ​​and serve the benefit of vital goals, but at least they should not contradict them.
  2. No matter how difficult, intractable, or even tragic the circumstances that have arisen may seem, it is necessary to ask the question: “What good can this situation give me?” In any situation, at any confluence of events, there is something vital for you right now, otherwise they would not have arisen. We, one way or another, create all situations in life ourselves, having provoked them with previously made decisions and views on life, ourselves and others. In order not to wander in eternal uncertainty, the universe periodically gives us feedback to further adjust our thoughts, views and actions. What we have now can be regarded as the lesser evil of the possible or as a challenge, a new step for personal growth.
  3. To find the strength and wisdom in yourself to resolve this situation in the best possible way, remember what qualities and properties attract you most in other people. It is these character traits that you now more than need - you need to find them in yourself, allow them to express themselves, develop them and educate them. To take control of the situation and not need control over others, it is enough to control yourself.
  4. It would be a mistake to constantly striveand problems. First, by focusing on troubles, we tend toattract them into your life, and secondly, it diverts attention from the main desired goal. Therefore, the most reasonable thing is to independently imagine the best scenario of your life and move in the chosen direction without fear of difficulties. They are inevitable, but surmountable.
  5. In many ways, you should like what you do, how, where, in what environment you live. This is a necessary condition for happiness and the rule of happy people. Based on what pleases you in your life, with an adequate positive assessment of yourself, you can successfully change what does not suit you.
  6. Forget about your shortcomings, focus on your strengths, develop them and improve. Remember that there are no people without flaws, the true value of a person is in his manifested abilities and developed inclinations. Especially in difficult situations, remember your previous achievements and previously correctly made decisions, they will motivate you to behave the same way now.
  7. To learn to accept yourself and your not the best, as you consider qualities, starttreat yourself with humor. After all, humor relieves tension, gives a respite and helps to painlessly and objectively look at the complexity. And, by the way, as you know, there are no completely negative character traits; what you consider bad and unworthy can also be put to the best use. When you think about it, be sure to remember the cases in your life in which it was useful to you that you tend to criticize in yourself.
  8. Do not change goals, but correct your behavior in a timely manner, what helped before may no longer have the same strength. Change means, subgoals, but not the main goal itself - to live happily! Try to stay here and now as much as possible, be flexible and attentive in order to correctly interpret what is happening. And do not give too much knowledge to the criticism of others, no matter what you do, everyone interprets based on their experience, values ​​and tends to see in others what is already in themselves. And he does not see what is not inherent in him.
  9. Whatever non-standard or ambiguous situation you find yourself in, imagine at least three more or less suitable ways to get out of difficulties. Sometimes we get stuck on one or two possible ways to solve a problem without noticing the others. The more options, even incredible ones, you can think of and name, the more confident you will feel and the easier it will be to find the right solution among all possible ones.
  10. No matter how hard, painful, sad you are, remember that nothing is eternal: day follows night, sunny weather becomes rainy. Learn to treat difficulties as temporary, especially since they are so. It is the black bars that help to fully appreciate the best moments of our lives. And a positive attitude, hope for the best and faith in oneself are often decisive in overcoming difficulties.