The ability to find a common language with any person. How to communicate with people: we easily find a common language with everyone

Many today cannot figure out how to find mutual language with people so that your communication becomes more pleasant, so that you are a good conversationalist and attract positive friends and buddies into your life. After all, all life is impossible without communication, so until we learn to find a common language with the people around us, we will not be able to achieve success.

This article will show you how to find mutual language with people, what needs to be done for this, what methods and tips are there to improve relationships with others. Anyone who learns to find a common language with any person can achieve anything in life he wants.

Understand what people want

To get along with people, first understand what they want. Start a conversation about what will be useful for your interlocutor, and end with what you need. To receive something, you must first give it away.

To find mutual language with people, you need to become like them. People like people who are like them. Try immediately during a conversation to copy the conversation style of the interlocutor and then it will seem to him that you are one of his close friends. Find out how to make friends.

Try to talk less

To find a common language with a person, give him the opportunity to speak more than you. Listen carefully, support and extract the information you need. So you will get more benefit, as you will learn something new and become a good friend and interlocutor for this person.

To get along with people, try to smile during a conversation if it's appropriate, especially when your interlocutor is joking.

You also need to learn to respect and appreciate the person with whom you communicate and then, he will do the same.

Don't take too long, speak clearly

To find mutual language with a person, you need to stop taking him and your time for nothing. Immediately talk about specific things that will help this person and you as well. People think of themselves most of the time, so offer them something they can't refuse.

Try to speak confidently and clearly

To find a common language, try to speak confidently and pronounce words clearly. If a person does not understand you, then it is unlikely that you will achieve his respect for yourself and find common ways out of a particular problem.

Compromise

To find a common language and agree with any person, you need to compromise. Rise above your selfishness and try to understand what this person wants. Offer him everything he is looking for in exchange for what you need. Make sure that neither he nor you remain losers. Find out: how to become the soul of the company.

Do not criticize, do not quarrel or argue

Remember to find a common language with any person, never quarrel and do not see each other for criticism. Even if you are the best versed in this or that issue, but the person does not want to listen to you and proves his point of view, it is better to leave the conversation and never return to it.

But if it is possible to turn to facts and logical resolutions of the dispute, then prove in practice what is true. But at the same time, do not leave the interlocutor in an awkward position. Support his point of view and offer to turn to more detailed facts and examples, rather than mere words.

How to win over an interlocutor

There are several simple ways, following which, you can easily find a common language with different people.

Remember, in a conversation, addressing a person by name, unconsciously there is a positive disposition of the interlocutor towards you.

Be polite, do not skimp on compliments, but at the same time be careful not to "overdo it", do not strum. Speak clearly, do not raise your voice. Of great importance is the tone of speech, through which feelings and emotions are conveyed. You should work on the setting of your voice, its timbre, speak at a normal volume so that you are not thought of as a timid or, conversely, a sharp and aggressive person.

We are all very different, but in some ways we are always similar. In a conversation, focus on what you have in common (“I also have a small child, like you, girl”, “We graduated from the same school / institute”, “I also like to grow flowers!”). This will allow your conversation to flow without tension, without unnecessary pauses, freely and easily, new topics for discussion will appear.

Be not only a good storyteller, but also a listener

Once a friend of mine was introduced to a handsome young man. But after talking with him, she did not want to continue their acquaintance and friendship. The reason was precisely that he could not be a good listener, despite the fact that it was predominantly a girl who spoke! But, she said, apparently not to him, but to the surrounding air, since in the conversation he asked things that had already been said before, or added something extraneous that was not related to the topic. Therefore, be able to listen, listen carefully, showing interest, do not interrupt. It will definitely be appreciated!

The posture should be relaxed, facing the interlocutor, the body is slightly tilted. Make eye contact, exchange glances, nod your head in approval. The hands should be relaxed, open palms up means sincerity and openness. Try to avoid crossing your arms over your chest (defensive posture).

Also, by changing postures and gestures of your interlocutor, you can understand how comfortable it is for him to communicate with you, talking about what he likes, and which ones are alarming. From here, in order to maximally arrange a person for communication, you yourself will be able to choose the most suitable topic for conversation.

You can show a person his importance by sharing his emotions and experiences, asking his opinion on a vital issue that interests you, telling something personal about yourself.

Psychological training MASTER OF COMMUNICATION or

"MASTER OF COMMUNICATION" or

Adults and teenagers from 15 and older are allowed to participate in the training. You can come alone with a teenage child.

Communication is our whole life!

Effective communication is our success!

90% of relationship problems are communication problems! Learn to communicate and your whole life will improve!

It is important for every person to know the psychology of communication. BUT the psychology of communication is not taught in school!

To communicate effectively, it is important to know the psychological type of a person and understand how to find an approach specifically to him. Communication without taking into account the psychological type of a person cannot be effective.

Probably, you had situations when you could not agree with someone, find a common language. Or you could not understand the other person, accept his values and beliefs. Admit it, how often have you wanted to change another person? And in the end, you only spoiled your relationship with him.

Thanks to training "How to find a common language with people of different types?" you will be able to better understand people, understand them better, and as a result, improve relationships with them.

After the training you will be able to:

In this psychological training “How to find a common language with people of different types?” you will learn how to easily make contact, quickly determine the psychological types of people without special tests, find an approach to any person, master the techniques of verbal and non-verbal communication, determine the psychotypes of your loved ones and learn how to competently build communication with them and improve relationships.

If you find it difficult to connect with people or find an approach to another person, you will overcome communication barriers. You will improve relationships in the family, at work, with friends, loved ones, you will be able to expand your circle of acquaintances, meet and build relationships with the man or woman of your dreams! And it's all thanks to effective communication.

Effective communication skills will greatly enhance your quality of life and your success. Psychological training is especially important for those whose work is related to communication: for advertising and insurance agents, salespeople, managers, and leaders.

Conducts psychological training "How to find a common language with people of different types?" or "Master of Communication" a well-known psychologist, coach, trainer, expert in the field of psychology of interpersonal relations, who has repeatedly participated in programs on central television and radio - Dmitry Vitalievich Seinov.

To view the schedule, click SCHEDULE

The training takes place in the office of the 5 YES! in the center of Moscow

m. Okhotny Ryad (5-7 m. p.), Teatralnaya, pl. Revolutions (15 l.), Pushkinskaya, Chekhovskaya, Tverskaya (20 m. p.)

Come together. 10% discount — 5500 4950 r. from a person.

"HOW TO FIND A COMMON LANGUAGE WITH PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT TYPES" or "MASTER OF COMMUNICATION":

Training "Master of communication" or "How to find a common language with people of different types" is easy to understand. The training provides detailed instructions for action. I understood how to build communication with people. I determined my psychological type and the types of my relatives. I will try to determine the psychological types of all the people with whom I communicate, and build conversations based on the recommendations from the training. Thank you very much Dmitry!

I always had problems with communication, I was very complex because of this. The psychological training "Master of Communication" helped me remove barriers in communication and learn how to quickly and easily make contact, I consider this the most important thing. It became easy for me to talk about nothing, on not very serious topics, to tell something and even to convince and persuade.

Zarubina Marina, 25 years old.

At the psychological training "Master of Communication" I discovered a lot of new things, although I never had any particular problems in communication. It is important that I learned to quickly determine the psychological type of a person and, on the basis of this, find an approach to him. I realized how to pick up “their key” for each person. I realized my mistakes, why I could not agree with some people before.

Kazantsev Petr, 35 years old.

The psychological training "Master of Communication" helped me to determine the psychological types not only of my relatives, but also of my colleagues and regular customers. As a result, I found an approach to even the most difficult clients. With those with whom I used to find it difficult to work, it became easy for me. In addition, she revised her relationship with her relatives and began to relate to them differently. ”

Suvorova Tatiana, 32

I really liked the psychological training "How to find a common language with people of different types":

firstly, I was able to determine what psychological type I am;

secondly, I realized that for effective communication it is necessary to listen to people;

thirdly, I began to determine the psychological types of my relatives.

Right tonight I will take a closer look at them in order to clearly define their psychological types. Also, in the near future I will definitely look for an approach to close people and colleagues, taking into account the knowledge about psychotypes received at the training. Very interesting.

Sources:
How to get along with people
Many today cannot understand how to find a common language with people so that your communication becomes more pleasant, so that you are a good conversationalist and attract positive friends and acquaintances into your life.
http://psyh-olog.ru/2014/09/kak-najti-obshhij-yazyk-s-lyudmi/
How to win over an interlocutor
It is very important to win over the interlocutor when meeting. There are several simple ways, following which, you can easily find a common language with different people.
http://mirsovetov.ru/a/psychology/relations/win-buddy.html
Psychological training MASTER OF COMMUNICATION or
How to find a common language with people? Psychology of communication? How to find a common language with different people? How to connect with people of different types? How to make contact? How to communicate with people of different types? How to properly communicate with people? How to find a common language with people of different types? Non-verbal communication. Verbal communication with people of different types. How to quickly determine the type of person? Psychological types of people. Personality types. Psychological training of the Center for psychological support of business and family "5 Yes!". We invite everyone to our trainings and consultations
http://www.5da.ru//masterword.html

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All people are different, so it can be difficult to find a common language with a stranger. We will show you several ways that will help you find a common language with people.

Speak to the point

Before you start a conversation, think about what exactly you want to say and say it in a calm voice. Try not to talk too much, it's easy to say too much.

Keep your promises

It happens that we promised something and immediately forgot. And the person, most likely, is waiting for the promised, and if he does not receive it, he loses confidence in you. Therefore, either do not promise, or keep your promises without excuses.

Speak kind words

If there is a desire and opportunity, say kind and pleasant words. It can be a compliment, gratitude or praise. It costs you nothing, and the person will be pleased and he will be more predisposed to you.

Respect others and yourself

If a person does not want to communicate with you, respect his right. If a person wants to pour out his soul to you and you do not mind, then this will bring you closer. If you do not want or cannot be a pillow for tears or gossip, then gently explain this to the person. You do not have to please everyone, but you must be respected as a person.

Share the positive

People are drawn to those who are positive, who know how to enjoy life and share their mood with others. Everyone has problems, but everyone has a different attitude to them. Try to go through life easily and people will sympathize with you.

Try not to argue

If you are not sure that you are right, it is better to agree with the dispute. It is better to say that you agree than to argue and then bet. Few people like people who like to argue.

Don't discuss others

Remember once and for all - no one likes gossip. If someone tries to tell you gossip or discuss your boss, it's better to leave or switch your attention to something else.

Don't be afraid of criticism

Criticism is not always meant to hurt. Often people want to draw your attention to some problem in this way. Try to look at criticism as an opportunity to improve.

If you don't know, ask

There is nothing shameful in asking a person with experience or a specialist something that you do not already know. This will only show that you are open to everything new, ready to learn and learn. And this is commendable.

Be sincere

Nothing wins people over to you like your sincerity. Be honest and sincere in your desires and expressions of friendship, in your compliments and your advice. Show genuine interest in the lives of those around you. When people realize that they are not indifferent to you, they begin to reach out to you.

How to learn to get along with people? How to find a common language? Sometimes it happens that, speaking the same language, about the same problem, and even sharing the same point of view, people do not hear each other, do not understand, and draw wrong conclusions. Why is this happening? Let's try to deal with this issue.

The concept of "common language"

What is behind this concept? To find a common language means to reach mutual understanding, to find an opportunity to agree among themselves, to come to mutual agreement with interlocutors regarding views and thoughts, actions and deeds, solutions to a particular problem.

However, from the point of view of psychology, reaching mutual understanding is not always easy. People grew up and were brought up in a different environment, received a different education, each owns his profession, has a variety of values and habits, lead a different lifestyle. And many more factors affect the way people think and behave in a given situation.

How to connect with people

Communication is a very important part of our life. It is present in all areas of life: in the family, at work, in the store, communicating with friends, colleagues and just strangers. It is necessary to find a common language with different people in order to avoid not getting into arguments, just to be in a calm and comfortable state and always have a good mood.

Some people manage to do this easily, we can say that they received this priceless gift from nature. For others it is much more difficult. However, it is possible to learn how to find a common language and build relationships with people. Think for yourself, because at one time all our friends and colleagues were strangers to us. As an example, you can look at children, how they easily, unobtrusively and naturally make friends.

First of all, tune in to communicate with others. No need to constantly focus on yourself and your problems. Be open and friendly. Learn to listen to other people. And not only to listen, but also to hear. Be interested in what is happening in their lives, what they live, what are their hobbies, what are their plans for the future.

Try to find something in common. It can be any memories and events from the past, common interests and hobbies, the same lifestyle, similar tastes in clothes, food, books, similar plans for the future. You can also always discuss general topics, such as weather, sports, some events, hometown or country, culture and customs.

In any situation, be calm, polite, friendly. Treat your interlocutors with respect. It is worth remembering that all people are different, but sometimes it is this difference that can unite people.

Strive to see something good and good in every person. No need to pay attention to skin color, social role, status, age of a person. The most important thing in people is their morality, their inner world. Speak warm and kind words to people. It's not difficult at all, and your interlocutors will be pleased.

Share your good mood and positivity with others. People see those who know how to enjoy life and are drawn to them. Problems and difficulties happen in the life of any person. But how to treat them and overcome them is the choice of everyone.

Try not to get involved in arguments on every occasion. It turns people off. Also, you do not need to participate in gossip and intrigue, discuss someone behind your back. If they want to impose participation in them, it is better to tactfully leave or switch to something else.

Speak to the point. Before you start saying anything, think about not saying too much. Always keep promises, as this is the key to trust. If you cannot fulfill any request, do not promise, tactfully and politely refuse.

Be honest and sincere. It always wins people over.

Relationship with the child

The problem of fathers and children remains relevant at all times. The question of how to find a common language with a child is asked by each parent at a certain stage of life. At first glance, it seems nothing complicated. After all, this is your child, and you have known him all his life. But sometimes he surprises you so much with his actions and thoughts that you stop recognizing him.

It is very important to be able to recognize the feelings of the child. "But we do it!" - many may object. Is it really? Are you sure that you are not replacing the real feelings of the child with your perception and feeling? Let's consider one situation. Mom and child go home from the store, which is literally a stone's throw away. The child says he is tired. And mom replies: “Don’t invent!” Is this like acknowledging a child's feelings? Result: the child may withdraw into himself and you will no longer be able to find a common language with him. So what should have been done? Agree with the child by saying his words aloud. “Yes, it’s not far from the store to the house, but you are tired. I understand".

How to interact as an adult with a child

The child needs to be helped to understand his feelings so that he can learn to trust his own feelings. There are several ways to help with this.

Listen carefully to the child's words. Sometimes just empathy helps.
Show that you understand it. Do not criticize, do not dispute his words. It can only hurt. "Understand". “I would also be unpleasant/offended/sorry.”
Call feelings by their proper names (pain, resentment, annoyance, irritation, anger, etc.). Don't be afraid, you won't be harmed by this.
Demonstrate that you heard the wishes of the child, and show imagination.

How to get along with someone else's child

There are times when it is necessary to establish contact with someone else's child. For example, you came to visit friends who have children, or you were asked to sit with the child for an hour. Below are a few tips on how to better behave with children in order to build rapport.

You should treat the child as an ordinary person, just a small one. Speak to him calmly, in a normal tone without excessive "lisping".

Squat or bend over so that you are at eye level with your child.

If you want to praise a child, it is better to focus on any details of clothing or a toy that may be in his hands. Don't touch anything personal, it can make the child more shy.

Talk about his things, toys or books. Play what he wants. Don't force your games.

Follow some fairly simple tips and you will be able to get along with someone else's child without any problems.

How to approach teenagers

A common language with a teenager is also not always easy to find. But relationships can be improved. First of all, the child must feel loved, no matter what happens (regardless of grades at school, problems with others, etc.).

It is necessary to let the child understand that parents are the best and truest friends. A child should turn to mom and dad with any problem and be sure that they will support him and help him solve any problem, no matter how difficult it may be.

It is necessary to lay down to discuss not only serious issues, but also everyday affairs. Try to create a friendly, relaxed atmosphere, have fun together. Be interested in the child's hobbies, his thoughts and desires. Find time for a heart to heart talk. And then your child will trust you, listen to you and appreciate your advice.

Common language in English

Communicating in a non-native language is always difficult. In today's world, English is very common. It is considered to be international. International conferences, exhibitions, events are held, as a rule, in English. And if you just go on vacation abroad, you will have to deal with communication in English.

There is no need to be afraid that they will not understand you, be friendly, open to communication, follow all the advice regarding finding a common language, and you will not be afraid of any.

I could never find a common language with my parents, and in general, to be honest, with people. Well, of course - you can talk about the weather with friends and with unfamiliar people. But when I start to decide something, even some trifle, especially with close people, everything goes awry. Either I speak incomprehensibly, or something ... Well, they don’t understand me. And it infuriates me - I just turn to screaming. And I understand that this is wrong. But I can't stop. And the nerves are on edge. Already the eye began to twitch. What to do? How to calm down and how to learn to easily find a common language, so that without psychos and nerves?

In your question, you very correctly placed the accents - indeed, the problem lies not in other people who do not respond to your words, but in ourselves. Because it is we who fail to convey our idea by formulating it correctly.

And a cry, an irritated conversation in raised tones is always a reaction not to your interlocutor, but to your own internal states. The most interesting thing is that screaming in this situation not only does not help, but on the contrary, exacerbates the problem. After all, shouting does not work to improve your condition, get rid of irritation, shortages, stress.

How to find a common language with people in life without shouting and swearing?

Think for yourself - if the other person does not understand the meaning of the words spoken in a calm voice, then it is unlikely that it will reach him if you shout the same thing. Yes, yelling is psychologically overwhelming, which can lead to the other person simply agreeing with you without even understanding what you are asking for. But there is a possibility that he will start shouting back, defending his innocence. In any of these cases, the cry does not help to find a common language with people, but on the contrary, it drives us into the abyss of misunderstanding and hostility. Relationships, as a rule, deteriorate after such communication, and it is very difficult to fix them.

The ability to find a common language with others is also a skill. And it can be learned. Almost every modern adult is capable of this. You have already taken the first step towards this - you have recognized that the problem is in you. This is a huge step that most of us do not overcome in a lifetime.

Communication with people is a rather delicate matter, sometimes it is not easy to find points of understanding. But experience says that if there is a desire, you can still find a common language and points of contact with any person, no matter what your life views were with him.

The main thing that is required of you is to show respect and interest in the interlocutor during the conversation. People make a mistake if they state and impose their position, opinion, demands, generally ignoring attention to those with whom they speak.

How to find a common language with people?

So, here are ten commandments on how to get along with people:

Don't talk anything Try to say less of what's on your mind. Before you say something, think it over, and say it in a calm voice.
Promised? Now do it. And so that this does not happen, do not promise more than you can give.
Speak kind words. If there is an opportunity, or you want to say kind words to someone, act! Appreciate the work, regardless of who did it. If you work, for example, in an online store, thank the client for the purchase made. If a person asked you to criticize him or something else, criticize but in such a way as not to offend him.
Respect not only yourself. Try to adapt to everyone (but not fanatically), is the person happy with something? Take an interest in this, discuss it with him, does the person feel bad? Help him with advice, listen to him. When people realize that they are not indifferent to you, they begin to reach out to you.
To each his own load. Enjoy life, even if something is wrong with you, others want to communicate with joyful people, all reach out to those who smile and who have no problems. But everyone has problems, just try not to hang your problems on others.
Agree with a dispute if you are not sure you are right. It is better to say that you agree than to argue and then bet. Few people like people who like to argue.
Don't discuss. Never support gossip, when you hear gossip it is better to leave, or be distracted by something else. Nobody likes gossips.
Don't joke with people. Many people think that if you play a trick on a person (break off), then you become one level higher, and everyone respects you. This is an erroneous opinion, having offended a person, people will begin to treat you much worse. People will not want to talk to you because they are afraid that you will play a trick on them.
Don't respond to bad comments directed at you. Remember, the one who knows how to remain silent at the right time is strong. Many people think if a person is silent at the moment when they insult him or say something ridiculous about him, then this is true. In fact, by keeping silent, you prove that you do not care what was said in your direction, because you know that this is a lie. People feel it!
Don't admire what you have. Let others do it for you. It's much nicer.