Successful and unsuccessful people. What Successful Mental People Don't Do

Body language speaks for us before we have time to process our words. And it's harder to control than our speech Isn't that why they believe him more than what they hear? For example, you are slightly slouched or slouched in a meeting... This reads as a sign of insecurity or that you are bored. Sometimes it is.

And sometimes our movements are perceived by others in a completely different way than we might think.

Watch successful people who communicate their confidence and control of the situation in both speech and body movements. Pay particular attention to what not to do...

1. Slouching.

You will never tell your boss, "I don't see why I should listen to you," but if you change your body position and sit hunched over, your body will say it for you, and very clearly. This is a sign of disrespect. When you slouch and don't keep your posture, it shows that you are not interested and do not want to be here.

Our brain is used to reading information by posture and by the amount of space that a person standing next to us occupies.

Power pose - when you stand up straight with your shoulders back, keeping your head straight. Whereas, by slouching, you crumple your shape, strive to take up less space and thus show that you have less power. Therefore, there is a very good reason to maintain an even posture throughout the entire conversation: this is how we also maintain attention to the interlocutor, show our respect and interest in him.

2. Gesticulate exaggeratedly.

Often, when people want to hide something or divert attention, they gesticulate heavily. Watch yourself when you do not want to give a direct answer - you will also notice body movements that are unusual for you.

Strive to keep your gestures small and precise; this shows that you are in control of the situation and your speech. Such gestures are typical for most successful people who are confident and focused on business. Also your gestures must be open.

3. Look at your watch.

Don't do this when talking to someone, it reads as disrespect and impatience. This seemingly imperceptible gesture is actually always noticeable. And even if you are just used to controlling time and you are actually interested in listening to your interlocutor, with this gesture you will give him the impression that you were bored during the conversation.

We know that we can listen carefully without looking at the interlocutor, but our counterpart will think otherwise

4. Turn away from everyone.

This gesture says not only that you are not involved in what is happening. It is still read on a subconscious level as a sign of distrust of the speaker. The same thing happens when you do not turn to your interlocutor during a conversation or look away.

Try to control not only gestures, but also body movements, so as not to send clearly negative signals during a work meeting or important negotiations.

5. Cross your arms and legs.

Even if you smile at the same time and have a pleasant conversation, the person will still experience some vague feeling that you are pushing him away. This is a body language classic that many have written about. This is how you create a physical barrier between yourself and the speaker because you are not open to what he is saying.

Standing with your arms crossed is comfortable, but you'll have to fight this habit if you don't want to be seen as (unfairly!) a secretive type.

6. Contradict your words with facial expressions or gestures.

For example, a forced smile during a negotiation when you say no. Perhaps this is how you want to soften the rejection, but it is much better if the words and expression on your face correspond to how you feel. Your interlocutor considers from this situation only that something is wrong here, something does not converge and, perhaps, you are hiding something from him or want to deceive.

7. Nod vigorously.

Many advise nodding to the interlocutor from time to time in order to maintain contact. However, if you nod after each of his words, it will seem to the interlocutor that you agree with something that you actually do not quite understand, and generally crave his approval.

8. Fix your hair.

This is a nervous gesture, indicating that you are more focused on your appearance than on what is happening. Which, in general, is not far from the truth.

9. Avoid direct eye contact.

Although we all understand that it is possible to be fully involved in what is happening and listen very carefully, without looking up, the signals of our body and how the brain reads them, reason wins here. This will be perceived as secrecy, what you keep back, and will arouse suspicion in response.

It is especially important to maintain eye contact at a time when you are making some important statement or communicating complex information. Those who have this habit need to remind themselves not to look at the floor, around, because this will definitely have a negative effect.

It would seem that by nodding vigorously, we express interest, but the interlocutor will think that you agree with what you really do not understand

10. Too much eye contact.

In contrast to the previous one, too much eye contact is perceived as aggression and an attempt to dominate. On average, Americans maintain eye contact for 7 seconds, longer when listening, less when speaking.

It is also important how you look away. If you lower your eyes down, this is perceived as submission, to the side - confidence and trust.

11. Roll your eyes.

Some have this habit, as well as eloquently exchange glances with one of their colleagues. Luckily for us, these conscious habits are easier to control and worth it.

12. Sitting miserably.

It is more difficult here - we cannot always control and even imagine how we look from the outside. The problem is that if we are immersed in our sad thoughts through no fault of those around us, they will still perceive that you are upset because of them.

The way out is to remember this when you are surrounded by people. Take into account the fact that if you approach a colleague with some kind of work question and at the same time your face looks sad and preoccupied, his first reaction will not be to your words, but to the expression on your face: “What are you unhappy about this once?" A simple smile, no matter how trite it may sound, is read by the brain positively and leaves a lasting favorable impression of you.

13. Get too close to the interlocutor.

If you stand closer than one and a half feet, this is perceived as an invasion of personal space and signals disrespect. And next time, this person will feel uncomfortable in your presence.

14. Squeeze your hands.

This is a sign that you are nervous or defensive or want to argue. Communicating with you, people in response will also experience nervousness.

15. Weak handshake.

Too strong a handshake indicates a desire to dominate, too weak - a lack of self-confidence. Both are not very good. What should be your handshake? Always different depending on the person and the situation, but always firm and warm.

According to the material psychologies.ru

The ability to manage your emotions and stay calm under pressure is important, but few people know this, says Travis Bradberry, president of TalentSmart and co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0.

He created a post on LinkedIn in which he described the qualities needed to control emotions. Turning to data from TalentSmart, which has tested more than a million people, Bradbury found that "the upper echelons of peak performance are filled with people who are advanced in emotional intelligence."

He formulated five things that people who know how to manage their emotions avoid.

They don't live in the past

“Emotionally intelligent people know that success lies in the ability to rise up in the face of failure and that they cannot do this when they live in the past,” writes Bradbury. "Any achievement will require you to take some risks, and you can't let [past failures] stop you from believing in your ability to win."

When you live in the past, it's almost impossible to move forward.

They do not dwell on problems and do not hold grudges.

Bradberry says that the emotional state is determined by where you focus your attention. “When you dwell on the problems you face, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress that reduce productivity. When you focus on taking action to improve yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal effectiveness that creates positive emotions and increases productivity.”

People with high intelligence focus on solving problems. And rarely hold a grudge against anyone.

Why?

When you relive an event or conversation that made you angry, “you [set] your body into a fight-or-flight response,” says Bradberry. “When a threat is imminent, this response is vital to your survival, but when a threat is ancient history, maintaining stress takes a toll on your body and can be devastating to your health over time.”

Emotionally intelligent people know that stress hurts them—and they avoid it.

They don't prioritize perfection

Successful people don't strive for perfection because they know it doesn't exist. "People are inherently error prone," Bradbury notes. “When perfection is your goal, you always end up whining or failing, and you end up wasting your time lamenting what you can’t accomplish and what you could have done differently.” instead of rejoicing at what you have been able to achieve.”

They don't surround themselves with negative people.

Negative people—or those who complain all the time—are toxic.

"They are mired in their problems and can't focus on solving them," says Bradberry. "They want people to join their 'pity party' so they feel better."

We feel obligated to listen to complainers because otherwise we will feel impolite, it is part of human nature. But there is a fine line between listening carefully and being pulled into a negative emotional state.

You can avoid this by setting personal boundaries and distancing yourself from these people. A good analogy is passive smoking - why would you sit all day and inhale the smoke of these people?

They don't say yes to everyone all the time

Research shows that the harder it is for you to say no, the more likely you are to experience stress, fatigue, or depression. "Saying no is really a problem for most people," says Bradbury.

When necessary, successful people say "no" and avoid phrases like "I don't think I can." “To say no to new commitments is to show respect for existing ones and give yourself the opportunity to fulfill them.”

It is unlikely that you want to be old and infirm. But old age is not wrinkles. This is primarily a slowdown in recovery processes. It's like a wormy apple. If the rot is visible from the outside, then inside it appeared a long time ago. In babies, everything heals quickly. But from the age of 15, these processes slow down. So, in fact, aging begins in the […]

I have already run 5 marathons. The best result is 3 hours 12 minutes. To run like this, I ran 70 km a week for 3 months. So I had to look for ways to quickly recover. After all, I trained 5 times a week. And with sore muscles, it is impossible to conduct an effective workout. So now I'm going to talk about ways […]

Your body is made up of many organs and receptors. But they are never taught how to use them. You are taught to read and write. But how and why your body works is not taught in school. Well, let's fix this. Learn to use your body the way nature intended. And then it will become healthier, and […]

Many underestimate the importance of sleep. But in vain. Here are the sad statistics from the documentary Sleepless in America. That is, many of your problems in life can be solved if you just start getting enough sleep. And it largely depends on how quickly you can fall asleep. If you have insomnia and trouble falling asleep, then your sleep will be poor. So […]

The more you get sick, the easier it is to get sick again. Because the body has to spend its vitality to recover faster. So, being sick, you live for three years. So the fewer diseases, the longer you will retain youth and beauty, and the later you will begin to age. These 10 secrets from always healthy people will help you with this. […]

Your success in any business is 100% dependent on your current state. If there is little energy in the body, laziness and drowsiness attacked it, then great success cannot be achieved at a given moment in time. It is better to spend 20 minutes to bring yourself to life and already energized to go out to fight with the problem. So choose any of […]

Your appearance can ruin everything. Or vice versa, add you extra points when applying for a job or somewhere else. But what if you need to get prettier in a week. After all, even if you start eating right, quit smoking and start playing sports, you won’t achieve a big effect in such a short time. So use these tips. They are […]

If you are familiar with these experiences, this video is for you. Without vital energy, you will not be able to do much. Without action, success is impossible. So remove these causes of lack of energy from your life. You don't give enough energy. The more you move physically, the more energy you have. The more often you sit still, the less vivacity. Physical […]

Success or failure in our life is by no means the whims of fate, which allegedly decides for us who will be successful and who will be bypassed by success, but exclusively the result of our own activities, and above all, it is the result of our conscious or unconscious choice. By nature, people are all the same, but as a result of the choices that each of us makes, some people rise up, while others remain at the bottom and even sink to the very bottom. Success and failure have a completely understandable pattern and, accordingly, a successful and unsuccessful person is formed in a completely understandable way. Given the fact that we are all molded from the same test, even at the very bottom, none of us have any reason to feel inferior to those whose lives are admired and envied. After all, in fact, successful and unsuccessful people are the same people by nature, but at the same time they have chosen different life paths, living according to different life laws, adhering to different ideologies, thinking differently and, therefore, acting in different ways. logical algorithms. In order for you to better understand my thought, I suggest you, dear readers, ask yourself the question of what distinguishes a successful person from a loser, from your point of view, and what distinguishes you personally from that successful person whom you consider more successful than yourself?

Try not to be biased and not look for excuses for yourself or others, just pay attention to the facts that take place in your life and the lives of other people. Personally, I can notice one extremely negative quality inherent in every person, with which some are able to fight, but others, unfortunately, are not, and as a result they become a victim of this quality. This, my friends, is laziness. About why nature has awarded us with this quality, I will tell you in my future articles. Laziness is an integral part of each of us, and in order to achieve our goals in life, to achieve success, we need to learn how to control it. We don't need to completely get rid of laziness, we need to take it under control. There are ways to do this, you need to know them and you need to be able to use them. A successful person in life is, firstly, a person who has made the right choice, and this can only be the choice of an active life, and secondly, this is a person who acts, does business, that is, he is at work, this is not a passive person who waits until luck itself falls on his head. Obvious truth? It seems to be obvious, but for some reason many people ignore it.

I can list you many useful qualities of a successful person in life, a person who succeeds in everything that he has in mind and what he does, but many books have been written about this even without me, so I will not repeat well-known truths, at least in their habitual form. You will read about them in other sources. In principle, the book of any successful person is replete with all these important qualities for a person that you need to know about, and most importantly, that you need to develop in yourself. Therefore, in order to give you something new in this sense, I suggest that you think about another fact - a successful person is a person who succeeds in what he has conceived. Friends, do not neglect my request to think about this on your own, of course I will give you all the answers in this article that I want to give, but still, since you are reading an article on psychology, you should delve into everything that I am telling you here, because only this will allow you to realize my words and re-tune to another wave. Otherwise, it will be like me treating you to hot ready-made pies, which you can and will be pleased to eat, but you will not learn how to bake them.

And so, if you have already thought about a successful person, as a person who succeeds in everything that he has in mind, then you will not be surprised by my statement that every person in this life is successful, because everyone has a result. The result is the finished product of your activity, and it, in turn, has become possible thanks to your choice and what you have conceived for yourself. You understand what I mean, there are no losers in this life, there are no unsuccessful people from a logical point of view, there are only people who do not have what others have and what they themselves would like to have. It’s just that we all do different things, some do things that are closest to what they want, others do the same close things to what they want, but that they don’t realize, and this is already a question of the wrong choice. That is why I have always said and continue to say that, for example, a person does not really want money, if after work he lies on the couch and watches TV, if on the day off he goes to drink beer with friends or have fun in any other way, he does not need money, no matter what he said.

It is possible to grow a waterskin for yourself while lying on the couch and sipping beer, and this is the choice of such a person, this is his idea in reality, and there is no doubt that he will succeed in this. Raising the level of consciousness is what will help each of us become more successful in the concept that we used to call him, because knowing what you really need means doing it. All other brakes do not play a significant role, it won’t work out, I won’t be able to, to hell with all this husk, if you have decided on what you need from life, then just go and do it. Being a good psychologist, which I proved during all the years of my work, in the meantime I was completely unable to write and express in writing all my thoughts. And if you read my first articles, including on this site, then you can grab your head, which is why I don’t do it. But being like a dog, understanding everything but not being able to explain it through writing, I still write, as you see, and even though I still haven’t learned how to do it right, I can’t be stopped.

You understand that the main thing here, the main thing here is just to do what you think is necessary, and the result will be in any case, another thing is what it will be, but so far, in any case, everything suits me. Now fourteen people consult with me on a paid basis, from time to time questions come for a free consultation, and after all, just a year ago I just created my website, and with my own hands, although I could have paid for it. By the way, it is very important to be able to do everything with your own hands, in any case, everything that is very closely connected with your life, because this indicates your possibilities, or rather, their limitlessness. Tell me friends, can I call my activity successful, and what is so unusual about it that each of you cannot? There is nothing unusual here, there is no secret of success that everyone is so passionately looking for, either you do everything necessary to achieve what you want, or you do something else in which you are guaranteed success. Perhaps some of you will rely on not knowing what they should be doing, which I often hear in my line of work.

Such a saying indicates ignorance not of the type of activity that should be done, but of ignorance of one's own desires, with which the person has not really decided. You can not know a lot, we all do not know something, and obviously we will never know. But what prevents you from finding out, what prevents you from taking a step towards your own desire, if you have decided on it, only laziness, what else can be? A lot of people complain about their fate, consider their life unhappy, and expect that someday everything will change for the better, that at the behest of external forces, something will happen that will be good for them, but what kind of miracle it should be , no one can really say, everyone only speaks in general phrases, pointing to the culprits on the sides. If I offered such people help, I would tell them what and how they should do, after which their life is guaranteed to improve, they will not listen to me and will not do anything. Although what does it mean if, I have done this many times and still do it, but few people need this kind of help, few people want to become a successful and happy person, that's the whole point.

Well, if a person does not want, if he is more satisfied with another life, if he really wants another, forcing him to do something against his own will is somehow not very reasonable for a reasonable person. Let's not talk about others, let's talk about you, dear reader, consider that I am addressing each of you personally. YOU have already understood that successful and unsuccessful people are the same people who just want a different life, there are no more differences in people, even everyone has laziness equally, only some are too lazy to be nobody, while others are too lazy to be people . What do you personally want from life, and what prevents you from getting it? There is something you don't know right? You don't know what to do, what to do, where to start? You have read this article of mine to these lines, excellent, therefore, you are not a lazy person, in any case, you are not lazy to read, which means that you are ready to work, ready to do something, and not wait until everything happens by itself. Great, this is the most important thing, I hope you have already decided with your desires, because at this stage, the creative work of your brain is finished. What follows is the physical process of realizing your plans, which you will get everything you want with impeccable and disciplined execution.

There will still be a place for creativity in your life, these are not only dreams of something good, these are also numerous options for your actions, the unusualness of which will determine what you consider success for yourself. You see the inscription “Paid consultation” at the top of the page - you know what it is - this is what you need when you don’t know. Paying for something that will give you the opportunity to change your life is the most profitable investment that can be, because you are investing in your excellence, this applies to all moments when you pay for knowledge. Such an investment cannot have a price, because it is priceless, but there can be a price set by a person that pays for his personal time working with you, and time, you must also agree, has a high price. Well, what are the problems to use my helping hand, which is extended to you, for what you are ready to pay your money and to whom you are ready to pay it. You are happy to pay the alcohol and tobacco industries, you pay garment factories, cell phone companies, automakers, who else do you pay and for what?

And what do you get in return, temporary pleasure, look at how the above industries fatten and chic with your money, or rather, their cream, while your life stands still, it does not change for the better, you have not even come close to the life that the people you pay live, which many, perhaps you, consider a successful life. Well, what about you yourself, are you really not worthy to pay yourself, so as not to spend money on the endless satisfaction of your desires, which lead you nowhere, and thus be content with little in this life. Why don't you pay yourself, in yourself, why not invest in your own, and not in someone else's future? After all, the best thing you can invest your money in is yourself. By developing yourself, you will never lose.

After all, money can go away forever, or it can return having increased many times over, this, friends, is called an investment, and in order to pay yourself, you need to pay those who will make you better - stronger, skill, healthier and so on. So think about how much you want to be successful in this life and what you consider success for yourself. Is success for you - the possession of some beautiful and expensive thing, or success for you - is the development of your capabilities, your mind, your strength, in the broadest sense of the word, thanks to which you can influence a lot in this life. Think about what you really want. After all, if you do something that does not fit with your desire, then this desire is false. And your desire is a consequence of what your needs and beliefs? Think about it.

From my point of view, it is not so terrible when a person does not know something, it is much more terrible when he thinks that he knows what he needs in this life and what he wants, whereas in reality this is not so. Here a successful person is a person who came to what made him feel good, and not to what made his life more stressful, difficult, nervous and generally unhappy.

We all want to be successful in all areas of life. Some of us may have read the life stories of our idols before they acquired name and fame. The curtain is up now, so let's take a look at the things successful people do, but they never talk about it.

They work when it suits them.

Some of us may have read about how much sleep and how much successful people work. While one successful person develops innovative ideas while he sleeps, another does the same by not sleeping. Very few of us know that Thomas Edison barely slept three hours a day! Did you know that Beethoven developed ideas in his bathroom? Some people prefer to be completely alone while working.

They are always positive

Successful people try to spend most of their time with positive-minded and like-minded people. They don't waste time with people who are always focused on negative things. What's more, successful people always focus on the positive aspects, even when facing adversity in life.

They believe in themselves

We all have certain dreams and visions. However, when they collapse, successful people look at it positively and perceive it as a new chance, as a new opportunity. This is useful for all of us in the future.

They accept criticism

Successful people are also open to accepting criticism normally and accepting it with dignity. They look at it positively and focus on making it right.

They visualize success

Whether it takes a long time or a short time to reach a goal, successful people always visualize the result long before they reach it. They constantly remind themselves of exactly what they want to achieve.

They are humble and kind

To be a modest and realistic person can only be one who is aimed at happiness and success in the future. Such people never brag about their achievements and lead a normal life. In addition, they do charity work to help all those in need, they also believe that they have received a lot from society. Such individuals feel better when, having achieved something, they share it with society.

They listen to their heart

Such people remain true to their character, temperament, they do not care what others think of them. They will never remake themselves according to the patterns that are accepted in society. In addition, such people know how to laugh at themselves, are not afraid of failure, always ask for help if it is really necessary, accept their shortcomings and dream a lot!

• You need to be able to overcome fear and be able to take risks in life. If you avoid this, you may never discover your abilities and talents.
• Treat everyone equally, don't single anyone out.
• Exercise, eat well, laugh more, get enough sleep, don't give in to stress.
• Don't worry about things that are out of your control.
• Look for opportunities where others give up.
• Take full responsibility for your actions, results, or lack thereof.
• Be confident in yourself and your work.
• Always swim against the current.
• Don't take everything seriously, learn to enjoy life!

While unsuccessful people attribute their failed fate to health problems, age, a bad boss, successful people are busy finding ways to overcome all problems.