A person cannot forget the deceased. I can't let go of my dead dad, what should I do? It sounds like this

Death is a natural and inevitable process. All people live and subconsciously wait for death. Someone begins to feel in advance that he will soon leave, someone dies suddenly. When, at what time and under what circumstances the life of each of us will end is already written from above.

Death can be natural - from old age. Or unexpected, fast - an accident can happen to a person. There is a painful death from disease or torture.

How exactly this or that person will die depends only on his karma. Death is inevitable, unpredictable, and almost always comes unexpectedly.

Loss of a loved one- a real grief, which is very difficult to survive, and sometimes impossible. But no matter how hard it is, we must release our deceased relatives as soon as possible.

What should be done after the death of loved ones?

It is necessary to get rid of all the belongings of the deceased.

This must be done after 40 days from the date of death. Items can be donated, donated or burned. It is also necessary to remove all photographs of the deceased from prominent and accessible places. Take photos from walls, chests of drawers, remove them from screen savers on your phone, computer, pull them out of wallets.

While in our environment there are things that remind us of a deceased relative, we consciously or subconsciously think about him, worry, cry. So we not only keep the soul of a loved one on Earth, but also create problems for ourselves.

What's happening: an energy connection is formed between a dead and a living person. The deceased is not released, and he is forced to stay close to his relatives, who worry and cry because of him. Gradually, everyone in the house begins to get sick, as the dead feed on the energy of the living.

Against the background of attachments to deceased relatives, diseases such as asthma and diabetes mellitus develop within 3-5 years. This happens 80% of the time. If this binding is removed, the disease will recede, as a result.

In my practice, there are cases when diabetes that arose against the background of binding completely disappeared after 3-5 sessions. But everything is individual.

In some cases, other diseases, such as obesity, may also develop. If the binding has formed, you will constantly feel tired, lack of energy, you will not be able to force yourself to do something. Against this background, some people start eating a lot to replenish their energy reserves, and as a result, they get obese.

Avoid frequent visits to cemeteries

There are lovers to regularly visit cemeteries, drink alcohol on the graves. Some are so overwhelmed with grief that they spend all day there.

After visiting the cemetery, a person feels severe fatigue, heaviness, headache. This happens because the dead feed on the energy of the living, so it is recommended to visit the resting places as little as possible.

After the cemetery, every time you need to wash clothes - from underwear to jackets and raincoats. You must definitely take a bath or shower to wash off the cemetery energy, wash your shoes.

Absolutely not drink alcohol on the graves, take some objects, flowers, earth, etc. from there. Otherwise, you can create a link with the other world. This can also lead to illness.

It is not uncommon for the dead to live in cemeteries. It is very dangerous for health and life, so try to visit such places as little as possible.

As a rule, souls who cannot find peace in the other world are settled. These are the souls of suicides, as well as those who died unexpectedly or by violent death. We are often approached by people with accommodation, they suffer greatly, hear voices, they are haunted by hallucinations. In such cases, an exorcism must be performed.

Do not put your belongings in the coffin of the deceased

it VERY DANGEROUS. People who do this fall ill within a year and may die if they are not treated in time.

Do not create bindings for yourself, live in the world of the living! If you put a personal item in a coffin, and after a while you start having health problems, the only way out is to dig up the grave and remove this item. It is also necessary to carry out energy work to eliminate the binding.

If possible, cremate the body of the deceased

VERY GOOD not to bury, but to burn the bodies of the dead. Better yet, scatter the ashes. So you will not be tied to the grave, you will have nowhere to go.

The soul of your loved one will be grateful to you!

No matter how hard it is, you need to understand that death is an inevitable phenomenon. Don't keep your dead around, let go! The living have no place in the world of the dead, and the dead have no place in the world of the living. The time will come and we will all leave! But know that death is not the end!

This article contains: prayer how to let go of the deceased - information taken from all corners of the world, the electronic network and spiritual people.

For believers, it is far from a secret that the body is only physical matter. It is generally accepted that the soul is the person himself, and the rest is “clothes”. The body dies, but the soul lives forever. And so it is in almost all religions.

Once upon a time, scientists even conducted an experiment in which they found out that after death a person becomes lighter by a certain number of grams. Then they decided that the soul weighs so much.

For many years people have been tormented by questions about the soul. About what happens to her “there”, further, after the death of her body. There are many legends, myths and superstitions. And since the soul is something intangible, all assumptions about it will remain only assumptions.

The most common question that interests many people is how to let go of the soul of your loved one?! Let's first understand what it means to "let go of the soul"?

What does it mean to “let go of the soul” of a person?

First of all, after the death of a loved one, you need to understand that he did not get into some kind of trouble and nothing can be changed. It just doesn't exist. Not in this world and in this space. What has changed is that he cannot say, do, hug, and so on. Well, the soul is alive. It remains only to guess what is happening to her and where she is. For us humans, this is still a mystery. You need to let go of the soul of a person inside yourself. Understand that she goes further into a world unknown to us.

How to “let go of the soul” of a person.

It is important to understand here that this is happening more on a spiritual level. After all, physically we cannot touch the soul. Spiritually, we often “hold” others. We bond with each other. Also spiritually, not physically. Man is so constituted that he always strives for union. He needs connections with other people. We are dependent on each other. And when loved ones “leave” us, whether in the literal sense or in the sense of death, we continue to “keep” them close in our heart, soul and head.

In order to let the soul of a loved one calmly “leave” into another world, it is necessary to carry out work on oneself. You need to understand that the soul no longer needs our physical world and it would be better for it not to drown in our tears and suffering, but to move on, knowing that we are in order and that we will remember in a good way. All we can do to help the soul of a loved one during the transition to another world is to pray for him. Different religions have their own rules and canons that people who have lost a loved one must follow.

If you slightly touch the mystical side, then the first 40 days after the death of a person, his relatives should cover all the mirrors with a dense cloth. It is generally accepted that the soul can get lost in the mirror world and not find the way.

How to “let go of the soul” of an unborn child.

Every person has a soul. And the child that was conceived and was in the womb also already had its own soul. This is the first thing that is born in a person. And if such a tragedy happened that the child did not see the world, this is a huge grief for parents, which not everyone can survive. If people are believers, then they know that the Lord takes the soul when he needs it and, unfortunately, we have no influence on this. Such misfortunes don't just happen. This is most likely a lesson for failed parents. Or God saved us from something even more terrible. You also need to pray for the child. We need to say goodbye to him, giving him life "there" - in a more perfect world. And when the time comes, another chance to become parents will be given!

It is also necessary to release the soul of an aborted child! It is very important here to ask for forgiveness before him if this choice was made by you intentionally.

Perhaps it will be a little easier if parents who have lost a child while still in the womb perform something like a rite that they can think of for themselves. If the gestational age was short and the child does not have to be buried, then you can do it for yourself. For example, to bury some toy or something that reminds of this tragedy. Women often keep pregnancy tests. You can even bury it. Put flowers, say goodbye. This is a more psychological technique in order to at least slightly alleviate your state of mind.

How to “let go of the soul” of a deceased husband or wife.

Very often, after the death of one of the spouses, the other begins to fall into a real protracted depression, literally making a “crypt” or “altar” out of the house, where an incredible number of different photographs of a husband or wife hang. This makes it very difficult for the soul to “leave”. She rushes about and sees herself everywhere. She sees suffering and it is very difficult for her to leave. It will be enough to put one photo with a black ribbon and a candle next to it for 40 days. After that, the candle can be taken to the grave and lit there. You can save the photo on your desk or on the wall, but one thing. Just for memory. And best of all, this photo should be associated with some pleasant event. The main thing is that, looking at him, there is no deep mourning. If there is, it is better to remove the photo. After all, you can commemorate and remember without any “attributes” and auxiliary items.

How to “let go of the soul” of a deceased loved one.

The most important thing is to love! Here the situations are very similar to the previous one, where we talked about spouses. Also, do not make “altars” of photos and gifts. If there are any memorable gifts, toys, then, of course, you can leave them and look at them. You can keep them and remember your loved one, but if this causes more pain, then it is better to take them to the grave as well, saving one thing.

How the soul of the deceased is “released” on the 40th day.

On the 40th day after the death of a person, it is customary to visit the church and order a memorial service for the deceased. You can also order a liturgy. In the church, they also put candles “for the repose”, while reading a prayer “for the repose of the soul”.

Day 40 is considered very important, like day 9. These days the soul goes through the most difficult trials on the way to the “new world”. All 40 days, relatives tirelessly pray for the deceased, helping his soul. Then it is customary to make a funeral meal, where relatives gather at a large table, read a prayer at the beginning of the meal, commemorate and, at the end of the meal, read a prayer. And in a good way, there should be either very little alcohol on the table, or not at all.

It is customary for some peoples and religions to arrange some kind of charitable meal or help the homeless on the 40th day after the death of a loved one. Or just do some kind deed for a poor or homeless person.

Orthodox Christians know a lot about the miraculous properties of prayers. Remembering the deceased, they help his soul to be cleansed of sins and calmly go to the Kingdom of Heaven, where it will find eternal rest.

Prayers for the departed are not only a tribute, but also a way to enlist the support of the family for good luck in life. Thus, the living ask God for mercy, since prayers also save our souls, allowing them to be cleansed through sincere faith and repentance. They tune in to peace, eradicating all the wicked things that are happening in our hearts, and contribute to spiritual growth and development. Prayers also help prepare for a sudden death, because, sadly, no one knows when this hour will come. The souls of the dead protect those who do not consign the memory of their ancestors to oblivion, but visit the cemetery and order prayers in the church for loved ones who have left us. To do this, before the liturgy, Christians bring notes with the names of all the deceased baptized relatives and close people.

If you do not know whether your loved one is alive or not, after a certain time you need to contact the priest to sing him, so that the soul does not rush around our world in search of a way out. Often the prerequisites for the funeral are prophetic dreams, where missing relatives who died under various circumstances give signs to the living. In such a dream, you can see his torment, a look full of prayer, or even a direct appeal of the deceased with a request to bury his ashes and pray for his soul.

Prayer for the dead

“Great Lord, support in our lives. Everyone will appear before Your eyes at the appointed hour. In different ways, but invariably at the appointed hour, we all stand before Your judgment. We pray to you, Father, have mercy on the souls of our departed brothers, parents, children and loved ones. Grant them your mercy, as you forgive the sins of those who sincerely repent. Deliver them from torment, forgive and have mercy on their involuntary sins committed out of ignorance. As children ask for forgiveness from their parents, so we ask you for forgiveness. Lord Almighty, we pray to you with sincere faith and for the repentance of all the dead, whose ashes are not buried, whose thoughts are unclear. Grant them a fair trial, but save them from diabolical torment. Deliver their souls from eternal wandering on the sinful Earth, take them under your protection. Amen".

Prayer for deceased relatives

“Our merciful Father in heaven! I, a sinful servant (name), pray to you in humility. Rest the souls of my relatives who left our world (names). The servants of God are now in Your power. Their bodies are committed to the earth, and eternal souls went to the Kingdom of Heaven. Accept them and forgive them with your all-mercy, forgive them their lifetime sins, voluntary and involuntary, and admit them to eternal communion. Let them watch over us, living beings, and through Your mercy suggest the only true and righteous path. Amen".

Prayers for all the dead through the ages

“The sinful servant (name), bound by the bonds of sins, asks You, Creator, for forgiveness and purification. Before Your eyes with humility I came with my troubles, let me pray for the souls of all the dead. For sinners and the righteous, warriors and children, old and young. In all ages, souls flock to you, ascend. Leave no one unattended, but forgive them all their voluntary and involuntary mistakes. Indebted to You by life and death, I pray for guidance, peace and peace in my heart. Protect me from demonic manifestations during my lifetime, and I will remember all who have died now, and pay respect to them through the words of a sincere and cleansing prayer. May it be so forever and ever, and all sinners be righteous, may the blessed Kingdom of Heaven come on earth. Amen".

Do not forget to honor the memory of your kind, because every devoted person ascends to Heaven, where he continues to watch his relatives and provide all possible assistance. Visit the graves, paying respect, light candles so that the cleansing fire, through prayers and repentance, will free your souls from all sins. Live in the world and don't forget to press the buttons and

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In chapter Religion, Faith to the question What needs to be done to release the deceased? given by the author Ludmila Mikhailova the best answer is I really sympathize with your grief, I will try to give an answer, as I know, and I'm sorry if it is too harsh in places.

First I must tell you that Orthodox Christianity and those people who are engaged in clairvoyance are opposite things. Orthodox Christianity is from God. Magic clairvoyance and so on - from an unclean spirit (demon). That is, the information of these "clairvoyants" is always not correct, and in no case should they be contacted, since this is a great sin. There is no such thing as "letting go of a son" in Orthodox Christianity.

What is happening to you should be understood only as the fact that your son asks you for help. Probably, in the next world he was not given the best place, but with your prayers you can help him ascend to paradise.

Orthodox Christianity says that the holiest prayer is a mother's prayer for her son, and you, of course, must pray for your son, and therefore, of course, you can help him.

The words of your son: “Mom, give me, give. ” must be unambiguously understood as the fact that he asks you for help.

If your son is baptized, then you need to sing him, order prayers for the repose, be sure to take edible products to the memorial table to the church (you can put food on the memorial table that did not have blood, that is, milk, eggs, bread, cereals, vegetable oil etc., but meat and meat products are not allowed) and why not do this one-time, but order prayers for a long time, and from time to time bring food to the funeral table.

If the son was not baptized, then this is a very difficult question, don’t start reading prayers yourself, go to the priest, describe what you wrote above, and ask what to do (as far as I know, the canon is read to the martyr Uar), but don’t dare to read it yourself without blessing, it can only get worse!! !

Also, I know from the priest that in such cases, and this must be done first of all, you need to feed the birds, and when you throw food to the birds, then mentally ask God to help your son.

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Prayer for a deceased relative, read at home for up to 40 days

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A loved one or loved one who has passed away plunges everyone into sorrow, longing and despondency. The tears of people can only relieve their pain, without affecting the soul of the deceased. The soul of the deceased is unlikely to be affected by a solid monument, magnificent and beautiful commemoration, as well as a prestigious place in the cemetery. Because everything is material. It does not affect the spiritual world of God in any way. The deceased is helped by a memorial prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased.

In such prayer, the living take a sacred part in the salvation of the soul of the deceased. People turn with a prayer “God rest the soul of your deceased servant” and promote God to the mercy of the soul of the deceased. Such mercy is given only at the request of the living. Prayer for deceased relatives also delivers salvation to the living.

The thing is that when praying for the dead, people also attune their souls to a heavenly mood. All this distracts from the fussy and temporary living world and fills people's memory of death and deflects their souls from evil. Also, such prayer helps the living hope for an unearthly future, and refrain from arbitrary sins.

Prayers for deceased relatives also help to dispose the soul of a believing peasant to fulfill the main commandment of Christ - to prepare for the exodus at any hour. Remember that the departed also pray for us. And we can receive special help through prayers, which have shown their Divine power and gained bliss in eternity.

Basic rules for prayer addresses for the dead

Memorial prayer for a deceased relative is considered the duty of any believing Orthodox person. According to the canons of the Orthodox Church, it is especially important to pray during the first forty days after death. The Christian Church commands that a widow pray for her deceased husband, children, parents or just a loved one every day.

The Orthodox Church also commands to read the names according to a special commemoration book. This is a small book that contains the names of the deceased and living relatives. There is even a pious custom according to which family commemoration books are offered. By reading the names of all recorded relatives, Orthodox believers can remember many generations of relatives who died long ago.

Remember that prayers read at home before 40 days to the deceased have a much better effect than after 40 days. In addition, it is worth considering that at home you can read all the prayers. Even those that cannot be mentioned in church services. For example, in the temple it is forbidden to read a prayer for the unbaptized dead or for suicides. The main thing is to accurately reproduce the entire text of the prayer, keep all intentions and concentration. And in no case should you be distracted by anything.

Worship in the temple

It is necessary to commemorate a deceased person in the Church as often as possible. This must be done not only on the days of remembrance, but also on any other day.

The main prayer is a short prayer for the departed Orthodox Christians at the Divine Liturgy. During this process, a bloodless sacrifice is offered to God.
The liturgy is followed by a memorial service. This rite is served before the eve - a special table with several candlesticks and with the image of the crucifix. During this process, in memory of the dead, an offering should be left for the needs of the church.
For the soul of a deceased person, it is very important to order a magpie in the church. This is a rite of liturgy that lasts from the day of death of a person up to 40 days. At the end of magpie - it can be ordered again. Long terms of commemoration can be ordered for six months and for a year. And the simplest donation for the deceased is a candle, which is placed for repose.

What prayers to read for the deceased at home

Remember that the biggest thing you can do in memory of the deceased is to order a liturgy. But still, do not forget that you can also do works of mercy for them and pray at home.

Praying for the salvation of the soul of the deceased is a sacred duty that is assigned to living relatives. Remember that only by praying for deceased loved ones, you can bring them the only benefit that they are waiting for. This blessing will be the remembrance of the Lord.

The Church commands children to say the words of prayer for deceased parents up to 40 days after their death. This must be done every day during this period. To do this, it is enough to read the following short prayer every morning:

“God give rest, Lord, to the souls of your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, free and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.”

At the cemetery

A cemetery is a holy place where the bodies of the dead rest until their future general resurrection. Even in pagan times, tombs were considered inviolable and sacred.

Remember that the grave of a deceased person must always be kept perfectly clean. The cross on the grave is considered a silent preacher of resurrection and immortality. He must be placed at the feet of the deceased so that his face is turned to the Crucifixion.

Arriving at the cemetery, you need to light a candle and pray. No need to eat and drink in the cemetery. It is especially unacceptable to pour vodka on a grave mound. After all, it defiles the memory of the deceased. Also, the custom of leaving a piece of bread and a glass of vodka on the grave should not be observed. This is a remnant of paganism.

The most effective memorial prayers

Next, we will talk about what prayers to read for the deceased so that the Lord hears them. After all, prayers for the dead with a load of sins can greatly improve the afterlife of our loved ones. And the Lord has always heard very well those who pray not only for themselves, but also for other people.

With the following memorial prayer appeal, widows turn to the Lord:

“Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the weeping consolation, orphans and widows intercession. Thou didst say: Call upon Me in the day of thy affliction, and I will destroy thee. In the days of my sorrow, I resort to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer, brought to You with tears.

You, Lord, Lord of all, have blessed you to combine me with one of Your servants, in which we have one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant, as a partner and protector. Thy good and wise will deigned to take this Thy servant away from me and leave me alone. I bow before this Thy will and resort to Thee in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about being separated from Thy servant, my friend.

If you took him away from me, do not take away Your mercy from me. As if you once received a widow's two mites, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, Lord, the soul of your departed servant (name), forgive him all his sins, free and involuntary, if in word, if in deed, if in knowledge and ignorance, do not destroy him with his iniquities and do not suffer eternal torment, but by Your great mercy and according to the multitude of Thy mercies, weaken and forgive all his sins and commit him with Thy saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life.

I pray and ask Thee, Lord, grant that all the days of my life do not stop praying for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, for the remission of all his sins and his settlement in heavenly abodes, even if you have prepared for those who love Tya. Like if you sin, but do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit are Orthodox even until your last breath of confession; the same, his faith, even in Thee, instead of deeds, he is imputed: as if there is a person who will be alive and will not sin.

You are One except for sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever. I believe, Lord, and I confess that You hear my prayer and do not turn Your face away from me. Seeing the widow, weeping greenery, having mercy, her son, carried to the burial, resurrected thou: so, having mercy, calm my sorrow.

As if you opened the doors of Your mercy to Your servant Theophilus, who departed to You, and forgave him his sins through the prayers of Your holy Church, heeding the prayers and alms of his wife: I pray to You, accept my prayer for Your servant, and bring him in into eternal life. For you are our hope, you are God, to have mercy and save, and we send glory to you with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and forever and ever. Amen!"

Prayer of children for their dead parents:

« Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are the orphan guardian, the grieving refuge and the weeping comforter. I resort to You, az, orphan, groaning and. weeping, and I pray to Thee: hear my supplication and turn not Thy face away from the sighing of my heart and from the tears of my eyes.

I pray to You, merciful Lord, quench my grief about separation from the one who gave birth and raised me, my parent (name); but his soul, as if having departed to Thee with true faith in Thee and firm hope in Thy philanthropy and mercy, receive into Thy Kingdom of Heaven.

I bow before Your holy will, it has already been taken away from me, and I ask You not to take away Your mercy and mercy from him. We know, Lord, as You are the Judge of this world, punish the sins and wickedness of the fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even up to the third and fourth generation: but also have mercy on the fathers for the prayers and virtues of their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

With contrition and tenderness of the heart, I pray to Thee, merciful Judge, do not punish with eternal punishment the departed, unforgettable for me, Your servant, my parent (name), but forgive him all his sins, free and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance created by him in his life here on earth, and according to Your mercy and philanthropy, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Theotokos and all the saints, have mercy on him and deliver eternal torment.

You, merciful Father of fathers and children! grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, do not stop remembering my deceased parent in your prayers, and implore Thee, the righteous Judge, and put him in a place of light, in a cool place and in a place of peace, with all the saints From here, all sickness, sadness and sighing will run away. Merciful Lord!

accept this day about your servant (name), this warm prayer of mine and reward him with your recompense for the labors and cares of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, as if he had taught me first of all to lead Thee, Your Lord, in reverence to pray to Thee, to trust in Thee alone in troubles, sorrows and illnesses and keep your commandments;

for his well-being about my spiritual success, for the warmth of his prayers for me before You and for all the gifts he asked me from You, reward him with Your mercy, Your heavenly blessings and joys in Your eternal kingdom.

You are the God of mercies and generosity and philanthropy, You are the peace and joy of Your faithful servants, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and forever and ever. Amen".

Death is "inscribed" in our lives. And with it comes pain. Is it possible to somehow help yourself when it does not go away, developing into despair and depression? How to let go of a person who has gone to another world, how to come to terms with the death of a loved one - a spouse, mother, father, child? ... This list of losses can turn out to be rather big, because in everyone's life there are living creatures whose death becomes a real tragedy ...

November is a month of nostalgia and sadness. The world around us loses color and slowly falls into a dead sleep. It is probably no coincidence that at the beginning of November there are religious-sacred days of commemoration of the dead and memories of people whom we knew, loved ... and still love. However, at the same time, this is an occasion to reflect on our attitude towards parting. After all, leaving this life is destined for everyone.

It cannot be avoided. In November, for many of us, with particular acuteness, the thought that everyone will step over the threshold that connects this world with that one is comprehended with particular acuteness. It is worth thinking about how we think about death, how much this understanding and awareness supports us. If not, can we change it to a mindset that can evoke more positive than negative feelings?.. Why do this at all? Here is what experts say about this - the so-called life coaches.

How to Let a Person Go: The Power of Healing Acceptance

Within the framework of the modern science of neurobiology, quantum physics and medicine, many interesting discoveries have recently been made that can be considered in the context of positive psychology. Many of the theories already proven explain the processes we trigger with our thoughts and feelings. We influence them both on ourselves and on everything around. Therefore, it is worth being aware and being careful with what and how we think.

According to scientists, neurotransmitters, hormones and neuropeptides "transport" negative thoughts throughout the body, especially to the cells of the immune system. When we react to intense stress, emotional pain, when complex feelings rule us, we eventually fall into the web of disease. Therefore, any suffering that we experience in difficult life situations can harm us for a long time or even forever. And, therefore, is a signal to change beliefs.

Breakups and loss are certainly among the situations that cause us the most pain. Sometimes so deep that it is difficult to describe it in any words. How to come to terms with the death of a loved one, how to let go of a person from thoughts and hearts - no matter what psychologists advise, it seems that there can be no answer to these questions at all. Moreover, many do not look for it, because they plunge into grief, which has a high chance of turning into depression. And it makes people lose their desire for life and plunge into despair for a very long time.

It happens that after the death of a loved one, peace of mind is never fully restored to someone. Is it an expression of love? Or maybe this state of affairs stems from fear and dependence on someone's presence and closeness?

If we accept life as it is and accept its terms, the rules of the game (and death is one of them), then we must be ready to let go of the one we love. Love is our preference, not addiction. And not "ownership". If we love, then, of course, we feel sadness, regret and even despair after the final break with a loved one. Moreover, this does not necessarily apply to his departure from life, because the question of how to let go of a loved one from thoughts, from the soul, people ask in other, less tragic situations. But there is (at least should be) something else in us - acceptance of the fact that this person has left our life and acceptance of all the negative feelings associated with this. Therefore, they eventually pass, leaving a feeling of peace and gratitude for the fact that we once met and were together.

But if our life is dominated by a position based on control and generated by fear, then we cannot put up with death, we cannot let go of loss. Yes, it seems that we suffer - we cry and feel unhappy - but at the same time, paradoxically, we do not allow true feelings to come to us! We stop at their surface, afraid that they will swallow us. Then we do not give ourselves a chance for true experiences and may seek help in some kind of forced activity or drugs, alcohol. And in this way we contribute to the prolongation of the state of despair, bringing it to the deepest depression. Therefore, there is no need to run away from yourself, from your real feelings, to seek salvation from them - you need to accept their existence and allow yourself to experience them.

Think with love

According to physicist Dr. Ben Jonson, a person generates different frequencies of energy with his thoughts. We cannot see them, but we feel their pronounced influence on our well-being. It is known that positive and negative thoughts differ fundamentally. Positive, that is, associated with love, joy, gratitude, are highly charged with the energy of life and act very favorably on us. In turn, negative thoughts vibrate at low frequencies that lower our vitality.

In the course of research, it was found that the most creative, vital and healthy electromagnetic field generates thoughts related to love, care and tenderness. So if you deepen your state by drawing black scenarios like “I can’t do it”, “My life will now be lonely and hopeless”, “I will always be alone / alone”, then you will significantly reduce your vitality.

Of course, when a person is tormented by the question of how to come to terms with the death of loved ones, how to let go of a dead person who is always in his thoughts, in his heart, in his soul, he somehow does not have time to think about himself, about his well-being. However, there is a problem. After some time, it suddenly turns out that life, which has stopped for a suffering person, for some reason does not want to stop in external manifestations. In other words, a person still has to go to work and do something there, earn money for a living, feed children and take them to school ... For some time, he will be treated with indulgence, but this cannot last too long. And if a person is absolutely indifferent to his well-being, then there may come a moment when he will not be able to do what no one can help him with. Even an ordinary everyday problem can be an overwhelming task for him. He will understand that he needs to pull himself together, but shaky health will be a very big obstacle on this path.

No one calls for driving away thoughts from loss, but when the stage of acute grief is experienced, it is time to change the emphasis in these thoughts.

Thinking about those who left with love, remembering happy moments, a person strengthens himself, and in some cases simply saves himself.

How to say goodbye to a loved one? How to let him go and not interfere with his affection?

Psychologists advise: if you have suffered a bereavement, accept the feelings and emotions that accompany it. Do not run away from them into some kind of imitation of activity that should help you forget, become a little "insensible".

Here is an exercise related to the practice of so-called integrated presence. It is believed that it makes a person closer to himself and to his feelings.

When you acutely feel sadness and despair, fear, confusion, a sense of loss, sit down, close your eyes and begin to breathe deeply.
Feel the air fill your lungs. Do not take long breaks between inhalations and exhalations. Try to breathe smoothly.
Try to breathe in your feelings as if they are hanging in the air. If you feel sadness, imagine that you are taking in her lungs, that she is fully present in you.
Then look for the place in your body where you feel your emotions the most. Breathe on.

The feelings you give space to are integrated. Then sadness will turn into gratitude for the fact that you had the opportunity to be, to live with a loved one. You will be able to remember his character, actions and general experiences with a smile and genuine, authentic joy. Repeat this exercise as often as possible - and suddenly you will feel strength in yourself. Sadness will turn into peace, and the question of how to let go of a loved one in such a way as to give him and yourself peace, how to find the strength to come to terms with his departure, will no longer be so acute.

Astrologers say: Scorpio is the king of death

Of all the signs of the Zodiac, the theme of farewell, death, remembrance is closest to Scorpio. He rules the VIII astrological house, the house of death, understood primarily as transformation.

The Scorpio archetype brings us closer to this topic, taking us through all the deaths that a person experiences while in the body. Scorpio loves to kill in a broad sense - to help the old, already outdated, go away, giving way to the new. What must die? According to Scorpios, these are mostly "rotten" compromises, including with ourselves, when we deny our true feelings and desires. Scorpio teaches you to clearly say “yes” or “no” in order to live truly, fully

Phoenix is reborn only from the ashes. What happens to him before his wings open again? He purifies himself in the fire of suffering. Life, according to Scorpio, is purgatory. We won't be able to taste bright pleasures, we won't rise to the heights of bliss before we know what pain tastes like. Thanks to her, looking into her eyes, we start all over again. Scorpions are associated with a snake, a symbol of transformation, as well as an eagle soaring high in the sky - already changed, already healed, with already more earthly feelings ...

Talking about how to let go of a departed person, how not to keep his soul tied to his negative thoughts and grief, is very difficult in simple, “everyday” words. The very phenomenon that has to be comprehended and accepted is too difficult. Nevertheless, every person who is forced to embark on such a dramatic path must understand that he is obliged to go through it - not only for himself, but also for the love that he will always keep in his heart ...

Instruction

Yes, you are having a hard time right now. But try all the same to call for help common sense, logic. Tell yourself: “The irreparable has already happened. Tears and grief will not fix anything. Think about who would be better off if you hopelessly undermine your health or psyche? Certainly not your family and friends. You must pull yourself together, if only for the sake of preserving the memory of the deceased.

Very often, such a difficult experience is the result of a feeling of guilt. For example, you offended the deceased with something or did not give him due attention, care. Now you constantly remember this, you are tormented by belated repentance, tormented by remorse. This is understandable and natural. But again, think: even if you are really to blame for the dead, is grief really the best means of atonement? There are so many people around who need help. Do something for them, help. Make amends with good deeds. You will find where to apply your strength. This, by the way, will help to distract from painful thoughts, torments.

If you are a believing Christian, try to find solace in religion. Indeed, according to Christian canons, only the body is mortal - a mortal shell, and the soul is immortal. In those cases when you are very worried, remember the words: "Whom the Lord loves, He calls to Him early." And also the fact that the soul of the child will surely go to heaven.

Pray for the deceased, often bring memorial notes to church. If you feel that you are still unable to let him go, be sure to talk to the priest. Feel free to ask any questions you have that you would like answered. Even this: “If God is really good and just, why did this happen?” Often, in order to calm down, you first need to simply speak out.

Try to convince yourself with this argument: "He loved me, he would be very saddened if he saw how I suffer, suffer." Sometimes it helps. There is another good way - go headlong into work. The more time and effort it takes, the less they are left for painful thoughts.

The very painful topic of parting with a loved one requires a tactful approach, great internal strength and time. Letting go of a person is catastrophically difficult, especially if feelings remain. But you need to learn this in order to live on and move forward, already without him.

Instruction

First you need to accept the fact that you no longer have a future with this person, and in order to continue living, you need to let him go. Perhaps the awareness of this situation is the most difficult in the whole process, since often people simply do not believe in what is happening, they have hopes and do not let go of a person, and this can last for years. If you cannot accept the care of a loved one on your own, be sure to contact a competent psychotherapist.

There is a technique for returning that positive energy of love and affection that you once endowed your other half with. The essence of the work is in multiple visualization. Imagine how energy in the form of a golden ray, the sun or hearts flows back from it to you.

The fact is that on a psychological level you have invested a lot in your partner, and when he left, you were left with nothing. This shows up. Destroy psychological dependence by returning your own. After a while, you will feel better and you will feel full again.

Keep yourself busy. At first, you will have to force yourself, classes will take place in an unconscious automatic mode, and your thoughts will be occupied by the image of a departing person. But go on, even if everything falls out of your hands - do not lose heart, do it.

When, thanks to the practice of returning your energy, the vitality in you will increase, start yourself. Take care of your appearance, education, hobbies. Sad thoughts about a departed person will not stop visiting you, although they will acquire a lighter color. Sublimate in creativity, paying tribute to the beauty that was in yours. This is how you let the person go.

Reduce the number of situations and people that remind you of your ex. Remove him from all social networks and temporarily stop seeing friends. Do not be interested in the life of this person, but focus on yourself - this is your most important task.

Over time, the former openness to you and, although the wound will be fresh, a new person may appear on your way. Accept it, because without parting there are no meetings. Do not close before new ones, perhaps they were given to you for something important. As a rule, a person who has experienced a difficult one becomes wiser and stronger, and that the chance to build a correct and lasting relationship with a new person is much higher.

Sources:

how to let a guy go

The death of a loved one brings a lot of mental pain, plunges into despondency. The mind refuses to accept the fact of what happened, words of consolation often do not have an effective impact. However, despite the gravity of the situation, it is necessary to continue to live on.

The death of a loved one: how to understand and accept it

Humility means accepting what happened. Stop denying what happened, you should not be angry at the whole world. Think about the fact that thousands of people die every day on Earth, there is no escape from this, death is the natural end of life for any living being.

After someone close to him dies, a person has many questions: who invented death? What is it for? Why did my relative die? All these questions are rhetorical, people ask them again and again throughout the entire existence of the world. If you are a believer, you can get answers to many of them by reading the Bible.

It is very difficult for an ordinary person to understand the essence of death, its meaning. Being born, he knows that sooner or later he will surely die, but most people try not to think about it. When suffering for someone close to you, think about the fact that in a hundred years there will be no one left alive on Earth now, more than one billion people will die. Perhaps this thought will not console you much, but still remember that no one is eternal.

It is worth taking into account the fact that the universe is much more complicated than it seems to people. Death is needed for something - for spiritual experience, for the transition to another world, another state, etc., depending on your faith, and is a link inextricably linked with life.

How to deal with the pain of loss?

Keep love for the deceased person in your heart, so you will always remember him. At first, after the loss, it will be very difficult for you, but the pain will gradually become dull.

Try to be distracted by some business, do not withdraw into yourself and your grief. Remember that you are not alone in it, every day people lose their loved ones who have passed away for a variety of reasons: those who died due to diseases or as a result of accidents, those who died during military conflicts, those who became victims of criminals who committed suicide etc.

Unite with other family members, together it will be easier for you to survive the pain of loss. Support each other, strive to ensure that there is room for positive emotions in your home. If you believe in God go to church, pray for your soul

How to release the soul of a deceased beloved husband?

On May 6, 2015, my husband, my beloved Sashenka, died. 18 years of happiness ended, they died with him. He called me 10 times a day, he always said that he loves me very much, he misses me, and if they quarreled a little, he called and asked what, don’t call, don’t you love or something. He was always cheerful, always liked to joke, I go to remember our life and cry all the time. I can't sleep, I often see him in my dreams. I loved every feature of his body, his hands would recognize from thousands I miss his scent of hair and his jokes, I loved to fall asleep in his arms, now I can’t sleep, I sleep and at the same time I think about him at the same time, I think about him constantly and when I’m talking to someone, why I live I don’t understand, we understood each other perfectly, we felt so good together, and now he is gone. I pray to God, I ask for him, I miss him very much. Constant pain in the soul.

Anya and Nika, you really are not alone in your grief. On March 15, 2015 my husband died. And I can't live without it. I live only in thoughts of him. I don’t know what I’m doing: why I get up, why I go, cook food, breathe why, like a zombie. And it hurts so much. Can you bear this pain? He left so suddenly and so young, he just fell and his heart stopped. He shouldn't have left. What should I do? Life is divided into before and after. I don't want to live. I want to be with him. I see him in a dream: He says that he is not dead. But relatives say it's a fantasy in my brain. But his son saw him and he also told him that he was not dead. He didn't get to say anything to me. He didn't come back to me, probably didn't want to. I know that you will not answer me, because there are no records for a long time. I just want one thing: for this unbearable pain to go away, but for this it is necessary that it was not true and that he would be alive. Help people so hurt!

I also lost my husband 5 months ago, with whom we lived for 33 years. It only gets worse over time. I really miss him. I don’t have the strength to live at all, although I try very hard, it seems that this is a terrible dream that cannot end in any way. And when the sun is shining on the street, everyone is enjoying life, then I have the opposite. I feel very sorry for him that he will never see anything again: neither the sun, nor the trees, nor the sky. And he loved life so much.

During the year, a person experiences loss, this is a natural state in such states. I would recommend work out this loss with a psychotherapist, so as not to at one of the stages of grief. Everything should go naturally and with the assistance of a specialist.

Dear AnnaZ. Please accept my sincere condolences. I understand you perfectly, everything that you are experiencing right now. She herself recently experienced great grief, my mother died, not an old woman at all, she was 63 years old. None of our advice will help you at the moment, you need to cry out grief, survive. For everyone it is purely individual. I had this borderline condition for over a year. And now, as they say, the eyes are in a wet place. I wish you to have patience, mental strength. try to be with people more often, then grief at least a little lets go. Time heals, but not as quickly as we would like.

Hello! Me too with my grief. I write and cry. Eyes do not see. Sorry for mistakes. 5 months and I lost my beloved husband. He left me. And left a continuation of the family. We lived 12 years together. He really wanted sons. But girls were born. July 3, 2014 gave birth to a son, he was happy in heaven. November 9, 2015 gave birth to 2 boys. He was crazy about children, he was the happiest dad with many children (((((April 13, he celebrated his birthday, and on April 25 he left work and died. It’s very bad for me. My soul is torn, the pain is unbearable. Children are bored, and her youngest is 4 year old, everyone asks when he will get off the shell, I'm waiting for him. Or will it rain, she is our daddy crying. So I and my five children remained. I try to meet him, the whole Internet turned upside down. I'm still looking for a meeting with him.

With your experiences, you torment not only yourself, but also the soul of your deceased loved one, do not let it go further ... In the name of love, overcome yourself and let go. Go to church, order a memorial service for the deceased, commemorate him, distribute his belongings to friends or those in need... Everything will be fine!

Today is exactly 3 months since my beloved husband left me. Very suddenly, unexpectedly for himself and us. He died in a terrible accident. We lived with him for 16 years of a happy life full of mutual love. I can’t imagine how to live without him. Inside my soul screams and howls and tears me apart. Only my son remained with me. On the last day we dreamed of a daughter. I promised to give it to him. believe in it. I wait and seek and imagine him. I listen to the sounds at night and want to feel and know that his soul is nearby.

And also, in addition to singing and relaxing, try cross-stitching, go to the gym, meet friends at your leisure, etc. etc.

Dear Anna Z, I am writing this, of course, not to you, but to those commentators who advise trying to relax somehow.... I don't know if you are still reading messages here, but I see your post was 9 months ago.. Maybe you found answers to some questions, or maybe they (questions) became more more....

My dear boy passed away 3 years ago.. For the first 1.5 years I didn’t see anything but the earth, I hated the sun, because I knew that people rejoice in this sun, but he doesn’t!!! Now I am trying to do everything possible for our son, in this I see my role and responsibility to my husband ...

Do not be afraid when you hear that the pain will not go away, but you will only get used to it. This is true - you get used to this position of yours, but also - and you try to Live !!!

I can describe my three years in stages, and this is not the way I have traveled yet. But I still want to be happy! If you want, write, I will answer as I can help with advice. But I made the main conclusion exactly for myself - I want to howl - howl, I want to yell - yell, with tears the pain will come out! The first two years were hell! Now covers less and you already become stronger! I wish you strength of mind to overcome this grief and tragedy.

4 months since my husband is not with me, 4 months of hell without him, he died suddenly, such pain that he no longer has the strength to live, we were married for 39 years, and together 44, I can’t imagine how to live on, the children are adults, they have their own life , no, they don’t leave me, but I’m alone, my life doesn’t exist and never will, every day I ask God and my husband to take me away

sorry, we don't know each other. I saw your comment on the story of a woman who lost her husband, and decided to write. My husband died over a year ago. I can’t calm down, I can’t find a place for myself. Outwardly, everything is ok, everyone thinks she has reconciled herself, but I cry every minute and so want him to be there. sometimes I feel it... but there are more answers than questions. what I didn't read. tell me, please, people don't die, do they? are they nearby? what should I do? the church says, it is necessary to let go, but I can’t live without him ... sorry for the confusion. it's just very scary and I don't want to live .... I want him to be happy.

your only consolation is that

that you are not the only one and others are facing grief and suffering in the same way.

You correctly write that in such cases, you need the help of a specialist,

which will defuse your charge of negative emotions, and you will calm down.

If you have a desire, then the medium can arrange a communication session for you with your husband.

We need to do something, and there will be a result.

And you do not make yourself any settings like let go or forget or the like. You just move on. To relax, listen to soothing music, take baths more often, sing if you like to sing, and don’t withdraw into yourself, but do things: work, hobbies, house cleaning. But don't be angry that you can't let go, accept it.

Never let your loved ones go. Life is not only what we see with our own eyes. Life is first of all what we Feel. In other words, Man is not the heart, kidneys, lungs, brain... Man is, first of all, the Soul. Our soul is eternal and infinite. And if the body does not see through the eyes of a Close Person, this does not mean at all that he is not around.

Nothing goes nowhere and nothing comes from nowhere. Also the people. Not disappear they are with the death of the flesh. And they change the plan of life.

Your real feelings are detrimental to you and your loved ones. Realize, finally, that your Husband is near. And do not torture yourself with the death of a mortal body. He didn't die.

There are no words to help or comfort. Today is the 25th day since my husband passed away. After 30 years of a quiet life in love and harmony, I am forced to become strong and forced to survive on my own. Some are afraid of airplanes, others are afraid of heights. And I was always afraid to drive, and now I have to take my granddaughter to the kindergarten in order to complete repairs in the apartment. And I think why? Let her daughter get behind the wheel (she is also afraid of him), let her finish the repairs, because all this will remain for her anyway. I don’t need anything anymore, I want a husband, I don’t want to become a man in a skirt. But then I remember that HE asked ME to get behind the wheel, HE believed that I would cope with the repair and still drive into our new apartment. I grind my teeth, I go and do it, and I swear at the wheel, and I swear with the brigade in the square. My Seryozha believed in me, I cannot but fulfill his will.