Tips on how to attract people. Change life with the power of thought

The strongest magnet for a man is an attractive woman.

Attractiveness as a quality of personality - the possession of the ability attract, bring people closer to you, arouse interest in yourself.

I am like a magnet. And not because I attract people. I just stick to the fridge.

Attractiveness - the ability to attract people to your line of life. Attractiveness is when the vast majority loves you. An attractive person does not force anyone into the orbit of his life. People, like bees to honey, voluntarily flock to him.

Why do they love me? Why are people drawn to me like a magnet? Attractiveness often asks itself such questions and does not find an answer. First of all, in an attractive personality, people are attracted by her confidence in herself and in her abilities.

Power is always drawn to. The Force is calm, balanced and satisfied. A person who is satisfied with life causes enduring sympathy. No one likes the eternally dissatisfied whiners and bores. Napoleon Hill - the king of success wrote: “I have great wealth that no one can take away, which can never be squandered, never lost due to a fall in the value of shares or unsuccessful investments. My wealth is satisfaction with life ... "

In an attractive person, charisma, charm, charm are clearly expressed. He is successful both at work and in the family. People are overwhelmed with complexes, and when they meet a person who is free from complexes, some kind of pernicious obsession, they involuntarily reach for this benevolent energy. Everyone wants to get into the orbit of success, where they don’t burden you with their problems, where they give you joy, inspire and inspire, instill enthusiasm, optimism and a crazy charge of psychological vigor.

An attractive person is kind and forgiving. In communication, he keeps his false ego on a short leash. People feel it right away. Confrontation arises immediately when the false ego wakes up. The man spoke to himself in a benevolent tone - everyone listened attentively with pleasure. As soon as he turned on his egoism, the ego of those around him wakes up sharply, gets excited and begins to call the mind and feelings to protest. As soon as egoism appears in words, the desire to prove one's importance and significance, disputes, abuse and squabbles immediately arise.

An attractive person has strong views and principles. This circumstance does not deter people. On the contrary, they respect his world outlook, because, firstly, it has passed the test of practice, as evidenced by the success of an attractive personality, and secondly, it is presented in such a benevolently calm tone that people do not have the slightest intention to tear at a vest and with foam at the mouth to prove to everyone that he was right.

Attractive person makes friends with a smile. When people are in trouble, attractive people are indispensable. Their presence alone inspires confidence that all problems will be solved in a safe way. Openness, sincerity and naturalness are the calling card of attraction.

An attractive person never imitates anyone. An extraordinary, inquisitive mind, free from inertia and mossy, provides an opportunity for the manifestation of originality and originality. An attractive person has found his life purpose and successfully implements it in practice. He always remains himself. Therefore, his life is bright and full of interesting deeds and accomplishments. The love of an attractive person in his work attracts people, most of whom are forced to engage in disgusting work, which gives only the means of everyday existence.

An attractive person is a master of limitations, that is, the ability to keep the necessary distance. In communication, he does not allow relationships to slide to a state of coldness and aloofness, but he also does not allow others to unceremoniously invade their personal space, turning relationships into familiarity, familiarity, and, even more so, into an endless French kiss. Attractiveness knows how to place restrictive barriers. She knows that feelings tend to go through stages of hunger, satiation, satiety, and disgust. If you hug and kiss all the time, there is a risk of getting fed up. And you must always be attractive and desirable.

Philosopher Vyacheslav Ruzov says: “Unlimitedness always leads to satiety. And what satiety requires is novelty. Therefore, a restricted schema is an opportunity to preserve love, relationships, and attraction. Therefore, the system with restrictions just creates the proper level of sexual attractiveness in the family. Unfortunately, the absence of restrictions removes this level of sexual attractiveness and ordinary, satiety appears, and therefore the search for a new one. If we talk about betrayal, then it is the restrictions in the family that this is the scheme that creates this proper level of attraction to each other. No wonder many spiritual traditions recommend that a husband and wife sleep in separate rooms. Such a distance increases the attractiveness and desirability of the spouses to each other.

If a couple's relationship is based on sex, it is difficult for them to last more than seven years. The attractiveness of the spouses is rapidly rushing to zero. There is a desire for diversity in sex. Psychologist Ruslan Narushevich claims that when this thirst for ever-increasing happiness in intimate relationships reaches its limit, and you feel that you can’t get anything new here, collapse begins, because each of the spouses begins to think that the problem is that it’s just “not enough spouses” or “few women” simply – one woman is not enough for me. A person begins to think seriously and adjust the theory to fit it. Because his appetite for ever-increasing happiness is natural. But since he is looking for him all the time on the "lower floor" - it turns out that this is a collapse, a divorce.

A man should always discover something new in his wife. Only then does she become attractive to him. Or stay. You will say: “Well, why should a wife be a clown all the time? Any new tricks to master? All the time somehow to show themselves or to build something. Or an artist? No. It turns out that the more a man listens to a woman, the more she begins to understand herself. The more she understands herself, the more she discovers something new in herself and begins to believe in it. And then it starts in a new way. For example, women whom a man actively listens to can dramatically change their hairstyle. Boldly. Even though I've been afraid all my life. Or maybe, for the first time in many years, make up. Because she realized that she was not so bad, that you could talk to her for an hour and listen to her.

Therefore, the attractiveness, the novelty of bodily and spiritual properties for a woman comes through communication. Realization through communication. And for a man - through solitude and reflection. Therefore, in a family it is very important that each of the spouses receive both. That is, each, respectively, what he needs. That is, a man received moments of solitude or moments where he would improve.

How does a man become attractive? A man becomes attractive, improving. Yesterday it was like this, today it is an order of magnitude higher, today it is even higher. And how does this appearance of various - novelty of bodily and spiritual qualities happen for a woman? You just need to open them and that's it. There is no need to attract anything. Just believe - believe that there is a lot of beauty in me, you can believe in it if you start telling someone, and he listens to you attentively and admires it. Admires the mind, admires the ideas, admires the way things look, talks to you, laughs together at what is funny. Compassion for what you sympathize with. This is how a woman begins to show a wide variety of qualities and becomes attractive.

Petr Kovalev 2014

Absolutely all people want to please others. When a person begins to communicate with someone on a more serious level, he can create a lasting good impression of himself, which may result in a new professional or personal relationship. The ability to attract people to you will open up new opportunities for you in terms of developing connections and contacts. To learn this, you will have to learn proper body language, learn how to speak correctly and begin to develop attractive character traits that will make others feel comfortable in your company.

Steps

Applying body language

Take care of a neat appearance. Pay attention to how you present yourself to other people. Before any upcoming social situation, be sure to comb your hair, shave, and don't forget to wash your face and neck. If you want, you can do light makeup, to create a first impression of yourself, it should be natural. Choose the style of clothing and its colors in accordance with your figure. Don't dress vulgarly, too revealingly or inappropriately for your upcoming event (don't wear a suit to a casual meeting or jeans to a formal event).

Smile. From a smile, you yourself will be in a good mood, and others will be more willing to make contact with an outwardly friendly and contented person. However, don't start smiling as soon as you see someone. First, pause, look the person in the eye, greet him, and only then give him a warm, sincere smile that reflects in your eyes. This will make the person think that your smile is meant for him.

Maintain eye contact. When you make eye contact with someone, it sends a signal to the person that you are open and ready to communicate. If you are interested in someone, periodically look at him, regardless of which one of you is talking. This will demonstrate that you are following the reaction of the interlocutor. During a conversation, maintain eye contact for as long as is comfortable.

Address the body to the interlocutor. People pay attention to how you treat them. When you first meet someone, turn your torso fully towards that person so that you are facing them. This will show him your special attitude.

Don't fuss. Excessive fuss and frequent hand gestures in close proximity to the face can make your interlocutor feel your disinterest in communication or the desire to quickly end the conversation. People may even get the impression that you cannot be trusted. Therefore, gain the trust of the interlocutor by maintaining eye contact, and not by fussing, twitching, wiggling, fidgeting, scratching, or twisting your hair around your finger.

Follow the correct posture. A straight yet comfortable posture can give the impression of confidence. Keep your head high, roll your shoulders back, walk with light steps. Move confidently, and when sitting, keep your back straight. Do not look down at the floor, and do not make your back excessively stiff or, on the contrary, weakly limp.

Treat everyone you meet like an old friend. Think of a person close and well known to you and transfer his image to a new acquaintance. With this mental trick, you can make the muscles of your face and body relax, becoming a more open and friendly person outwardly. For example, your brow line will soften and a smile will appear naturally. Also, pretending that you enjoy interacting with the person will help you actually enjoy the new company.

Be open, honest and helpful. These qualities are important in any relationship, but are especially useful in a professional setting where sometimes not all information is available. If you don't know something, but you can find it out for someone, let the person know that you will try to help them. This will demonstrate your willingness to take active steps to help.

• Try the following phrases: "Do you need something? How can I help? I'll try to find it out for you."
• Offering help is a great way to win appreciation and goodwill. If you can contribute to the success of another person, then do so. Those people who will like your proactivity and goodwill will notice you and begin to reach out to you more.
• Don't be afraid to admit your weaknesses. People like those who are willing to admit the need to work on themselves in some moments, as well as those who are not afraid to ask for help when it is needed. Demonstration of ordinary human qualities will allow you to please other people.

1. Don't skimp on verbal support. Support makes people work harder and achieve more. You are able to have a positive impact on a person with elementary words of support. The simple phrase "I believe in you" can inspire and reassure the interlocutor. In addition, it can increase your attractiveness in his eyes.

   Try to talk more. People like those who are not afraid to break the awkward silence that has arisen in a conversation. When there is a pause in communication, everyone tries to imagine what the interlocutor thinks about him, whether he likes communication. If you directly voice your thoughts, you save communication from any speculation, from which it becomes easier for everyone.

   End the conversation when you make a good impression of yourself. When you say goodbye, apologize and don't forget to address the person by their first name to leave a good impression on them. The main thing is to make the person want something more, perhaps another conversation, or to become curious to know more about you or what you have said. Before moving on to another activity or conversation with another person, apologize and try to exchange phone numbers or email addresses.

   Development of attractive character traits

   1. Cultivate positive emotions, thoughts and conversations. People are drawn to those with whom they feel good. Practice an optimistic outlook on life and share your positivity with those around you.

Ecology of consciousness. Psychology: Not hormonal compatibility, not similarity of interests, not a common past/present/future, no, it's not all that keeps a man and a woman together. It is impossible to predict the development of events in your pair if it is built on the above. No, the force that can hold a man and a woman together is much stronger. Only she is able to create a miracle, only with her help new people are easily born, projects are carried out, cities are built.

Not hormonal compatibility, not a similarity of interests, not a common past / present / future, no, this is not all that keeps a man and a woman together. It is impossible to predict the development of events in your pair if it is built on the above.

Not, the force that can hold a man and a woman together is much stronger. Only she is able to create a miracle, only with her help new people are easily born, projects are carried out, cities are built. The force that attracts a man to a woman and vice versa is a very strong energy magnet., which is able to overcome distances, increase or decrease the speed of time, create specific conditions, take into account thousands of circumstances. About itNatalia Feklistova especially for .

This magnet is easily distinguishable, it has the simple properties of a magnet, this connection cannot be broken. It can cause various inconveniences, it can sweep away everything in its path, sometimes it seems that it interferes with you or something around, but it cannot be stopped.This is its main property, by which it can be easily recognized.

It is impossible to name a specific center that is attracted to another center (for example, in your body), it is impossible to name understandable reasons why there is a connection, there is no sensible explanation for this connection, but it exists. She is the driving force of progress, she helps people around to believe (in the broadest sense of the word), she is protected from "bad weather".

This connection does not need to be protected in some special way, it will protect itself, it has its own immunity. At its very beginning, it is like a baby, it has the strongest will to live, the brightest desires, then it just grows and develops along with your personalities.

She has her own laws, her own rhythms, she does not give in to the logic you understand, she is always wiser. She will not let you doubt your existence if you listen carefully to her prompts.

She won't let you give up easily, so don't be afraid to show weakness. It is an eternal source of self-reproducing energy. This source cannot be closed, but there is no scheme by which it can be found. He comes into the world with you and exists in a passive form until the time has come for him to open up.

You do not need to wait for the source to open or do anything to speed up this process. All that is required of you is to maintain the passive source in its original form, let it coexist with the soil in which it is located, do not interfere with its passive "work" and do not try to clog it for non-use.

The day it opens to another source of equal importance to merge into one, you may not recognize it. The important thing is that all events will begin to add up "towards" another source.

This will be of interest to you:

Work on your source tirelessly every day, take care of it, keep it clean, remember your dreams and go to them boldly without looking back. Then you will not notice how quickly you will meet your source equal to you in strength and beauty. The one who will be unconditionally ready to go further by your side and forever.

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There are people who radiate such an inexplicable magnetism that absolutely the entire environment is drawn to them, wants to be like them, earn their friendship, or at least approval. And the most curious thing is that it does not depend on the appearance of these attractive people at all.

website found 9 rules to follow in order to become such a person. And yes, charismatic people are not born, they are made.

Individual image

You need a unique look. Not even so - you need a unique detail in the image. After all, your own original external image is something by which even people you do not know can remember you. And we are not talking about beauty at all. Paradoxically, uniqueness can even be expressed in ugliness or vulnerability. Any of your pronounced "chips", whether it's gait, gestures, facial expressions, intonation, communication style or a detail in your wardrobe, will make you memorable.

Here are some examples of details of famous people or what they are associated with:

• Charlie Chaplin - mustache, suit, cane
• Tilda Swinton - asexuality, no makeup
• Winston Churchill - fullness, cigar
• Joseph Stalin - mustache, pipe, accent
• Adolf Hitler - special shaped mustache, intonation
• Dita Von Teese - 40s look, red lipstick
• Marilyn Monroe - hair color, mole
• Salvador Dali - mustache, facial expressions

You must have a big dream

In order for people to aspire to you and appreciate you as a truly special person, you must certainly have some kind of reason for being. Ambition, goals, the desire to change something in this world. Fight for something. After all, a person without a dream is like a book without an idea. Why read this?

Be confident

To be charismatic, you must first of all be confident in yourself. Feel free to make decisions, be able to rely only on yourself, not wait for outside help, and communicate your ideas to other people in an accessible way.

Confidence is felt not only in behavior, but also in speech. Avoid expressions such as "I think, I hope, I suppose, I expect, maybe, probably."

Forget Complaining

Think: could you admire and try to be like a person who complains all the time? Of course not. Charismatic people are positive. Avoid criticism, complaints, and negative topics. Even if not everything is going smoothly in life, start the conversation with what brings you pleasure and will bring it to your listeners.

Use sign language

By your behavior, you should show your confidence: do not slouch, do not fiddle with any objects or parts of your own body in a fit of neurosis, try to smile more often, look straight into your eyes and avoid closed poses.

And in general, appearing in society, feel like a star on the red carpet.

Become a great storyteller

Many people believe that the ability to tell interesting stories is a talent.

But it is not always the case. In most cases, this is a skill that can be learned. Just speak confidently, use humor, especially self-irony - the ability to laugh at yourself is aerobatics. Use body language, be emotional and positive. Don't be discouraged if not every one of your stories or jokes gets through.

Tell your personal stories. Many people, having heard something really interesting, will share it with others.

Don't take your eyes off

When talking to a person, always make eye contact. Sometimes one piercing glance can say more than a thousand words: the right eye contact shows that you are listening to the interlocutor, understand and accept him as a person.

Important: when you are talking to someone at an event, do not get distracted by extraneous things, do not look at your phone and do not scan the crowd in the hope of seeing a more “necessary” interlocutor.

Learn to listen to others

No need to consider yourself the most important person in the world and strive to turn the eyes of the entire environment only on yourself, no. A person can be attracted by his genuine interest in the lives of others, because listening to other people is an art. If you listen carefully to another person, are interested in him, he begins to feel needed and even special to some extent.

Of course, it is impossible to remember everything that the interlocutor said, but remembering his name is a big deal. There is one curious trick: when a person introduces himself to you, repeat his name: "Oleg, it's very nice." And so that, in turn, they immediately remember you, use the same method of repetition, only your own name: “Hello, my name is Daria. Uvarova Daria.

Use the mirror effect

The mirror effect, or simply mirroring, is an easy way to win over a person by repeating their facial expressions, intonation, or gestures. This always works, since the technique is based on the nature of human narcissism: the interlocutor unconsciously begins to feel that you are on the same wavelength with him.

The same effect can be applied not only in a conversation in order to win over, but also to adopt the "chips" of people who seem charismatic to you. For example, famous people. See how they present themselves, it can help you feel more confident. You can find a detailed analysis of such examples on the video channel

Ecology of consciousness. Psychology: How can we overcome something negative without resisting it? This question reveals one of those delusions that (sometimes for a lifetime) prevents us from getting what we want. We think that by resisting negativity, we will be freed from it. But it's not. In many cases, we get the freedom to create what we want only after we have stopped resisting.

How can we overcome something negative without resisting it? This question reveals one of those delusions that (sometimes for a lifetime) prevents us from getting what we want.

We think that by resisting negativity, we will be freed from it. But it's not. In many cases, we get the freedom to create what we want only after we have stopped resisting.

By resisting our desires, we only add fuel to the fire.

So we're only making the situation worse. If we resist something that is not desirable for us, then we fully focus on it.; we act on the assumption that external circumstances will prevent us from getting what we want.

Let's look at a few examples. If at work we are against communicating with certain people, it certainly turns out that we are forced to deal with them on business all the time.

The more we fight some habits of our children, the stronger they become. If we, fearing to get fat, resist the urge to eat dessert, we crave it even more.

When we don't want to pay bills, they just seem to flunk us. When we are in a hurry and are afraid to get into a "traffic jam" - you can be sure that we will spend at least half an hour in it.

Because of this resistance, a person denies his inner power to create or attract what he wants. Actively focusing on what we don't want weakens our ability to get what we want.

It's hard to be sure that you can make dreams come true if you think only about what you haven't achieved. It is not easy to experience a state of inner happiness, love and peace if you try to look for it outside.

This does not mean that a person should ignore everything that he does not want. But instead of resisting negativity, it can be used.

Negative emotions will help you feel what you want and focus on it. The ability to create your own future depends entirely on the attempts to do this and on the life position of a person.

Do not resist, but be aware and let go of negative emotions, and then attention will turn to what you want.

Resistance reinforces the belief that we cannot get what we want. We automatically begin to accumulate signs of our own impotence and eventually lose touch with our creative potential.

We create what we believe in. H The human mind is much more powerful than most people think. 90% of what happens in life is caused by our mental images, and only 10% - by actions.

A person who believes that he can have more, but cannot achieve what he wants, should take a closer look at his experiences.

And then he will certainly see that deep down he does not believe in his success. On the contrary, continuing to believe in the desired in the most hopeless situations, a person strengthens his faith and beliefs.

When you believe, challenges make you stronger and strengthen your faith.

We create what we believe in.

When a feeling of hopelessness takes precedence over a person's self-confidence, he begins to unnecessarily resist the world.

Instead of accepting what he has and working to get what he wants, he spends all his energy resisting the existing situation.

When we resist another person or situation, we give desire the wrong direction.

Instead of striving for calmness and cooperation, we want to get rid of something. Instead of trying to complete the project, we spend a huge amount of energy dodging work.

Instead of settling relations, we waste our mental strength in vain, hoping to change the behavior of partners. We focus on what we don't want and think back to times when we didn't get what we wanted.

Instead, we should focus on what we want and remember the times we got it.

We resist the behavior of partners, feeling that they do not like them. Instead of demonstrating our friendliness to colleagues, to interest them, we wait until they once again offend or disappoint us.

In any case, by resisting the situation, we waste energy and continue to get what we resist, not getting any closer to what we really want.

What we resist will stubbornly return.

You get what you focus on. Unwanted, fueled by your attention, only increases.

When you pay attention to something and experience strong negative emotions at the same time, you once again attract to yourself what you resist.

What you pay attention to grows in your life

When you resist something, you keep creating it because you believe that it is impossible to get rid of it. The feeling of hopelessness was the source of your resistance, and it will reappear if you believe that you cannot get what you want.

By resisting, you reinforce the belief that you cannot get what you want.

Imagine that you know: a check for a million dollars is due in the mail in your name. In this case, you would not resist paying any bills and would not be afraid to sign them.

You wouldn't want the bills to disappear. Assuming that you have enough money, you would not resist the need to spend it.

Imagine that your partner is sick, but you know for sure that he will recover soon. Will you, having such information, drop all your affairs and begin to personally care for him?

You are not afraid that he will feel abandoned, you do not resist the disease and do not consider that this is a heavy burden.

Your resistance fades because you are sure that you will get what you want. Your confidence that everything will be fine will keep you from falling into the trap of resistance.

With this understanding, it will become clear that in order to succeed, we need to give up the idea of ​​resisting anything. The next step is gaining the confidence to get what you want. Nothing strengthens her like the first success.

Achieving success is like a snowball rolling down a mountain. The longer it rolls, the bigger it gets.

Likewise, achieving even a small amount of success strengthens your faith. Following him comes a new, more impressive luck.

It will give you even more confidence. Along with it, your next success will increase. Now you believe in yourself, filled with enthusiasm. You just radiate positive energy and confidence!

Once having gained speed, a person often continues to roll by inertia.

Once you understand this, you can understand why it is so important to define your desires every day. If you made a wish and it came true, you will feel a surge of strength from the knowledge that you are able to attract what you want into your life.

However, small miracles will never happen again if you stop feeling appreciation for them.

Nothing contributes to success like success.

To achieve personal success, we need to feel and act in accordance with our true desires. Unfortunately, most of our daily aspirations come from the very habit of resistance.

Such desires are not true. Instead of attracting what you really want into your life, false desires deprive you of energy and reinforce the belief that you are powerless to get what you want.

By focusing on the unwanted, you reinforce your belief that you are unable to get what you want.

Let's say you're stuck in a traffic jam. If you are in a hurry, you want the car to move as fast as possible.

By resisting the traffic situation, you focus on what you don't want and thereby reinforce your inability to get what you want. Most likely, you will intuitively prefer the lane in which the cars move the slowest.

And even if you taxi to not the worst, you will think that it is the worst of all.

Why (for example, in a supermarket) is the last package of the desired product always taken from you in front of your nose?

Why, when you are in a hurry and worried, do you get in a line that barely moves? This is not an accident. There is clearly a pattern here.

In a hurry, being in an unbalanced state, you will choose the slowest queue.

If we are in a hurry, then in the supermarket we stand in line, which moves more slowly than all the others.

If you are not in alignment with your inner center, you will unconsciously (“intuitively”) choose the wrong path. By resisting circumstances, we only exacerbate the situation. By focusing on not wanting to wait, we will be forced to wait longer.

Why does the past repeat itself

The above is another reason why it is so important to heal old wounds.

If you have had painful experiences in the past(for example, in business or personal relationships), you will strive to avoid them again. Resisting suffering can bring it on again.

However, if you have not been offended before, you will not think much about the offense, but will naturally focus on what you want. That is what will be attracted into your life.

Resistance to painful experiences creates the possibility of re-experiencing them.

It is very difficult not to resist the bad things that happen. Once a disaster has happened, we naturally do not want it to happen again.

But by focusing on this unwillingness, we re-attract suffering to a certain extent. The more fully we have healed our past, the less we will be disturbed by the shadows of the past.

Until we get rid of the pain associated with past events, some of their negative aspects will repeat and annoy us.

For example, if we passionately do not want to be alone, that is what we will get. If we don't want to be rejected and ignored, that's exactly what will happen.

If we are horrified by the possibility of losing something, it will be lost. If we are oppressed by the thought of an unloved job, it will remain a source of trouble.

If we simply cannot work with a certain person, we will have to deal with him all the time.

The more we do not want something, the more it is attracted to our lives.

By learning to heal past wounds, we allow the old pain to go away, and with it, the subconscious expectation of its repetition.

From now on, we will be free to focus more on what we want. Our positive desires will increase to the extent that we have been able to get rid of past grievances.

If you do not let go of your past, it will appear to you again and again. By resisting negative experiences, you will automatically attract situations that will cause unpleasant emotions.

Resistance not only prevents you from attracting what you really want, but also dissipates power. It's like a hole in your love tank that won't fill up.

Your energy, instead of being consciously used for constructive purposes, flows out of it.

As an experiment, try noting all the negative thoughts and bad feelings you verbalize throughout the day.

You will be amazed at how often this happens. But the “voiced” resistance is just the tip of the iceberg.

Negative statements reflect the true essence of resistance. Our true task is to heal the spiritual experiences and sensations caused by it. Start by being aware of what you have said.

Be careful with words. As you gain confidence in building your life, you will see that what you say comes true.

The power of your words is limitless. Especially if you express your true desires.

The resistance game

The resistance game can be fun. We sometimes play it with my twelve year old daughter Lauren. One day we go shopping together and just note all the negative statements of each other.

Then we try to speak differently. Here are some examples of our statements:

I said, "There probably isn't a good parking spot here, let's look somewhere else." I should have said, "Let's see if there's a good parking spot nearby."

We then drove to where we wanted to park and found a parking spot.

She said, “I hope we don't have to wait long; I have so much homework." Then she corrected herself: “I hope we get through this quickly. I want to have enough time to do my homework.”

When it was time to leave the store, I said, "Your mom won't like it if we're late." Together we redid this phrase: "If we get home quickly, mom will be very happy."

Near the house in the car, I said: "Don't forget to take the bag." In a positive version, it sounded: “We will now make sure that everyone has taken it.”

Stop resisting your partner

The same principles apply to interpersonal relationships. Don't focus on your partner's actions and emotions that seem negative to you.

Focus on the behavior and reactions of the person that you like. For example, on wanting to hear from him what a wonderful person you are.

Think of times when your partner gave you high marks. Feel like this: "I want him to love me and think I'm great."

Instead of thinking, "He never helps me with anything." Remember how he once helped you, revive your feelings at that moment in your memory. Then express your desire to experience those emotions again and think, "I want my partner to help me."

If we shift the emphasis in this way, ninety percent of the problems will find their solution. By identifying your positive desires, you awaken an inner belief in the possibility of obtaining what you want.

When your faith is strong, the desired will begin to happen.

If you make wishes with an affirmative accent, then you contribute to their implementation.

When communicating with people, try to address them in an affirmative way and avoid expressing dissatisfaction, criticizing and demanding.

Try to get rid of expressions such as "no", "you must not", "you must", "you never...", "you always...", "why don't you...".

Try - at least as a game - to find a more positive way to express your desires.

Instead of "We never go anywhere," say, "Let's do something different this weekend." Instead of saying “You forgot to take out the trash again”, speak differently: “When was the last time you took out the trash? The bucket was full, so I carried it out myself.”

If you are asking for more, don't verbally condemn, don't shame, don't blame. Everything will work out if you use a light tone: as if at the table, ask your partner to serve a butter dish.

There is no need to doubt that he will hear you.

If you turn to your partner, believing that he is deaf, then he will not hear you.

If you are opposed to some actions or moods, then at the moment when your partner is in a good mood, briefly and friendly ask him for what you want, and then patiently insist on it.

On occasion, ask again, but each time as if you were doing it for the first time. After several requests, the partner will realize that he did not give you what you wanted; at the same time, he will be grateful that you do not shake his nerves.

This will be of interest to you:

The latter circumstance will allow him to overcome his own negative emotions regarding you. Not only will he not reject you, but he will gain an additional incentive to do something else for you.

The same approach applies to all areas of relationships: in the office, at school, and at home.

The power of memory

The memory of good things strengthens your confidence in the same way that negative experiences increase resistance to life. If I really want something to happen, then I remember the happy events of the past. published