The child does not want school what to do. The child does not want to go to school: what to do? Why does the child refuse to go to school

Can. I've known this for 12 years for sure. During this time, two of my children managed to get certificates while sitting at home (since it was decided that this might be useful to them in life), and the third child, like them, does not go to school, but has already passed the exams for elementary school and so far not going to stop there.

To be honest, now I no longer think that children need to take exams for every class. I just don't stop them from choosing the “replacement” school they can think of. (Although, of course, I share my thoughts on this with them.)

But back to the past. Until 1992, it was really believed that every child was obliged to go to school every day, and all parents were obliged to “send” their children there when they reached the age of 7.

And if it turned out that someone did not do this, they could send employees of some special organization to him (it seems that the name contained the words “child protection”, but I don’t understand this, so I could be wrong).

In order for a child to have the RIGHT not to go to school, they must first obtain a medical certificate stating that they "cannot attend school for health reasons." That's why everyone asked me what's wrong with my children!

By the way, much later I found out that in those days some parents (who thought of the idea of ​​not “taking” their children to school before me) simply BUYed such certificates from doctors they knew.

But in the summer of 1992, Yeltsin issued a historic decree in which it was announced that from now on ANY CHILD (regardless of his state of health) has the right to study at home!!!

Moreover, it even said that the school should PAY EXTRA to the parents of such children for the fact that they implement the money allocated by the state for compulsory secondary education not with the help of teachers and not on the premises of the school, but on their own and at home!

In September of the same year, I came to the director of the school to write another statement that this year my child will study at home. She gave me the text of this decree to read. (I didn’t think of writing down its name, number and date then, but now, 11 years later, I don’t remember anymore. If you are interested, look for information on the Internet. If you find it, share it.

After that I was told: “We won't pay you for your child not attending our school. It's too hard to get the funds for that. But on the other hand (!) And we won’t take money from you for the fact that our teachers take exams from your child.”

It suited me perfectly to take money for the release of my child from the shackles of school, it would not have occurred to me. So we parted, pleased with each other and with the change in our legislation.

True, after a while I took my children's documents from the school where they took exams for free, and since then they have taken exams in a different place and for money - but that's a completely different story (about a paid external study, which is organized easier and more conveniently than free, at least that was the case in the 90s).

And last year I read an even more interesting document, again, I don’t remember either the name or the date of publication, it was shown to me at the school where I came to negotiate an external study for my third child. (Imagine the situation: I come to the head teacher and say that I want to enroll the child in school. In the first grade. The head teacher writes down the name of the child and asks for the date of birth. It turns out that the child is 10 years old. And now the most pleasant thing. The head teacher reacts to this CALMLY!! !) They ask me for which class he wants to take exams. I explain that we don't have any graduation certificates for any classes, so I guess you have to start from the very first one!

And in response, they show me an official document about the external study, in which it is written in black and white that ANY person has the right to come to ANY public educational institution at ANY age and ask that they take exams for ANY high school class (without asking for any documents about completion of the previous classes!!!). And the administration of this school is OBLIGED to create a commission and take all the necessary exams from him!!!

That is, you can come to any neighboring school, say, at the age of 17 (or earlier, or later, as you like; together with my daughter, for example, two bearded uncles received certificates, well, it was impatient for them to suddenly receive certificates) and immediately pass exams for 11 th class. And get the very certificate that everyone seems to be such a necessary subject.

But this is a theory. Practice, alas, is more difficult ;-(. Once (out of curiosity rather than need) I went to the school closest to my house and asked for an audience with the director. I told her that my children had long and irrevocably stopped going to school, and now At the moment I am looking for a place where I can quickly and inexpensively pass exams for the 7th grade.

The director (a nice young woman with quite progressive views) was very interested in talking to me, and I willingly told her about my ideas, but at the end of the conversation she advised me to look for some other school.

They really were OBLIGED by law to accept my application for admission of my child to school and would indeed allow him to be "homeschooled". There would be no problem with this. But they explained to me that the conservative elderly teachers who make up the “decisive majority” in this school (at the “pedagogical councils” where contentious issues are resolved) would not agree to MY conditions of “home teaching” so that the child would simply go up to each of the teachers once and immediately passed the year course. (It should be noted that I have encountered this problem more than once: where exams for external students are taken by REGULAR teachers, they insistently say that the child CANNOT pass the entire program in one visit !!!

He MUST “work the RIGHT number of HOURS”! Those. they are absolutely not interested in the real knowledge of the child; they are only concerned about the TIME spent on study. And they do not see the absurdity of this idea at all)

They will require the child to take all tests at the end of each term (because they can't put a dash in the class book instead of a quarter grade if the child is on the class list).

In addition, they will require that the child has a medical certificate and has made all vaccinations (and by that time we were not “counted” at all in any clinic, and the words “medical certificate” made me dizzy), otherwise he will “infect ” other children. (Yeah, it will infect with health and love of freedom.)

And, of course, the child will be required to participate in the “life of the class”: wash the walls and windows on Saturdays, collect papers on the school grounds, etc.

It is clear that such prospects simply made me laugh. Obviously, I refused. But the director, nevertheless, did exactly what I needed for me! (Just because she liked our conversation.) Namely, I had to take textbooks for grade 7 from the library so as not to buy them in the store. And she immediately called the librarian and ordered to give me (free of charge, on receipt) all the necessary textbooks before the end of the school year!

So my daughter read these textbooks and calmly (without vaccinations and “participation in the life of the class”) passed all the exams in another place, after which we took the textbooks back.

But I digress. Let's go back to last year, when I brought a 10-year-old into "first grade". The head teacher offered him tests for the first class program, it turned out that he knew everything. The second class knows almost everything. Third grade doesn't know much. She made a study program for him, and after a while he successfully passed the exams for the 4th grade, i.e. “graduated from elementary school.”

And if you wish! I could now come to any school and study there further along with my peers.

It's just that he doesn't have that desire. Vice versa. To him, such a proposal seems crazy. He does not understand WHY a normal person should go to school.

Ksenia Podorova

Childhood goes by so fast. All the skills that children acquire at this wonderful time will be useful to them in adulthood. And everything seems colorful and bright, but the colors of life are not always pleasing. The child does not want to go to school - this problem becomes torture for the child and parents. Why does this happen, who is to blame and, finally, what to do? Let's try to write out a recipe that will turn a dreary obligation into an interesting and educational process.

What causes reluctance to go to school

“I don’t want to” can carry a completely different meaning. This is what adults should understand first of all.

1. The daily rhythm implies the cyclical performance of certain tasks. Sooner or later, even a favorite activity that must be done without fail tires us. Do you also not always want to go to work, or do something around the house? If the point is only this, the offspring periodically whines that he does not want to go to school - there is no problem. Psychologist's advice: sometimes, if you see that the children are tired, give "legal" absenteeism. By doing this you will win 3 bonuses:
   • earn extra points as a loving and pampering parent;
   • prevent real overwork;
   • give the opportunity to miss the cool team.
2. The child has changed, withdrawn into himself, become aggressive. Going to school has turned into torture, the fees are accompanied by tears, and the teenager began to play truant every day - beat the bells. The presence of such facts speaks of a serious problem. The sooner you find and eliminate it, the less the child's psyche will suffer.

Reasons for rejection

1. Conflicts with classmates. Children are often violent. They cannot see the situation in volume, as adults. Therefore, they evaluate it and the consequences of their actions in a completely different way. Classmates can bully because of some external flaws, complexes. But, often the cause of general rejection can be the character or behavior of the child himself. This happens when a son or daughter enters a new team. The desire to stand out, to show oneself from the “best” side, to defend oneself with an attack, all this can have a distorted form. Surrounding children will not understand the impudence of a beginner and will poison him. As a result, the reluctance to go to school
2. Lack of interest in the learning process occurs in three cases:
   • the child falls behind the school curriculum. Even very smart and developed children can get a knowledge gap in some subjects or sections. The reasons are different: illness, family circumstances, mismatch of abilities and orientation of training;
   • on the contrary, the program does not keep up with the student. The child is inquisitive, reads a lot, is interested in the news of science and technology. Parents do a lot for his development. It grows out of the school curriculum as out of an old form;
   • The intellectual abilities of the child do not allow him to adequately perceive the material. Your baby really wants and tries hard. But, due to his abilities, he still cannot master the curriculum at a sufficient level. From this, hands drop, interest is fading more and more.

Attention! Most parents want their children to be talented, obedient, and brilliant. Learn to love them for who they are, don't ask for more. Often the reluctance to go to school is caused by a discrepancy between your requirements and the capabilities of the child.

1. The dissonance of the temperament of the student and the teacher becomes the cause of dislike for the school, especially in the lower grades. An imperious, energetic, noisy teacher can suppress a calm, insecure kid. On the contrary, a too calm, amorphous teacher will not hold a nimble naughty in his hands. Behavior problems will lead to poor performance in subjects, and then a chain reaction.

It is important to know and understand the character and temperament of your child. If the baby is restless and hyperactive from the first days of life, get ready for the fact that he will need to pay 3 times more attention than a calm baby. Such children are characterized by: unbridled curiosity, a thirst for action, non-recognition of authorities, a quick change of activity. The baby will poke his nose into all corners of the world around him without fear and apprehension. The task of parents is to teach the baby to concentrate on one thing for more and more time. This will be important when teaching at school. In order to achieve this, you must be a very patient person and have a rich imagination and ingenuity. Otherwise, all attempts at learning will lead to a complete rejection of the perception of any knowledge. This is where the first one comes out: “I don’t want to go to school.”

1. Problems of a personal nature. Children experience their first love in different ways. Lack of reciprocity can be stressful for someone. It happens that everything is complicated by the publicity of love failure.
2. Family problems are a difficult test for children. The divorce of parents, the death of one of them are factors from which children give up.
3. Inattention and lack of control by adults is one of the most common causes. If three decisive factors coincide: laziness, lack of control, the presence of bad friends, a very disturbing and unpromising picture emerges. This situation has been brewing for a long time. Her parents are to blame.

Ways out of the situation

If you have come to the conclusion that the reluctance to attend the school team is not far-fetched, but a real problem with a deep bottom, take a number of simple steps.

1. Talk to the child. It is better to do it in a relaxed atmosphere. For example, spend the weekend together in the park, on the rides. Create a good mood for yourself and your son or daughter. At the moment of an emotional outburst of a person, it is easier to talk. If he stubbornly does not want to discuss this topic, do not push. In this case, try to get information from friends or teachers. If there are any changes in the behavior of a child or teenager, be sure to talk to the class teacher, listen to his advice. The teacher sees our children in situations that cannot be created at home. Often children trust their favorite teachers with the most intimate, what they are afraid to tell their parents about. If you receive information, try to present it to the children in a way that they do not understand where it leaked from. Otherwise, the teacher will turn from an ally into a traitor.
2. Many parents choose a school based on its prestige and profile. If we talk about elementary school, then it is necessary to choose not a school, but a teacher. It is important that the kid likes his teacher, and they match each other in temperament. Where there is sympathy and love, there will be no problems. Even if somewhere he lags behind because of his abilities, with the right tactics of a caring teacher, this will not become a tragedy. The desire to learn will not be lost. If we talk about the profile, then the most suitable age for transfer is 8-9 grade. In the case when a bet is made on 1-2 subjects, you can study them with the help of a tutor, studying at your favorite school.
3. The teaching staff is a separate issue. But, in a nutshell: children who are loved and perceived as individuals, given their characteristics and abilities, will always love their school. Accordingly, they will try to study, take part in circles, sections. The school community will be treated like a family. Is it different in your case? Read reviews of schools in your area and consider changing teams.
4. If the reason is a conflict with classmates, try to sort out the situation as quickly as possible. Get information from different sources. Do not rush to find the culprits. The child may be wrong, but out of fear of being punished, he will distort the situation. This happens often. Listen to all parties, witnesses, and only then make a decision and start doing something. Try to reconcile the parties to the conflict. But, if we are talking about bullying, or the situation has dragged on for a long time, the advice of a psychologist does not work - look for another school.
5. In case of lagging behind the program in one or two subjects, work with the child yourself or resort to the help of a tutor. When everything starts to work out, children feel their strength and significance, their self-esteem increases and life gets better. It is better to send gifted children to specialized schools, with an expanded and complicated program. This will give them more opportunities and increase their interest in learning. If the child is weak, all attempts at extra classes have failed, do not be discouraged. There are many careers in life that suit your toddler or teen. Orient him to the type of activity that he likes. What to do for this, the psychologist will tell you.
6. Take things seriously on the personal front. Give examples from your school life. Distract the child, if necessary, cry with him. Explain that everything in life is changing, and soon he will laugh at what causes melancholy today. School love rarely ends in a long-term relationship, it must be experienced like chickenpox. The advice of a psychologist will also be useful here.
7. Solve your interpersonal problems in a way that doesn't involve children. They must have a father and a mother. Even if they no longer live together. Supervise children and keep in touch with each other. It often happens that a child says to his father that he is with his mother, and vice versa to his mother. In fact, left to itself.
8. Your child's teachers are not specially trained Cerberus. They are not your enemies, but your friends. The best thing you can do is to keep in touch with the school. The child will understand that he is under control, and you will be aware of all school affairs. In this case, reluctance to attend school rarely occurs.

In order to prevent bad thoughts from entering the head of children, it is necessary to reduce the amount of free time. To do this, there are a large number of sections, circles, music, sports and dance studios and schools. Forget the most common excuses:

• no time to drive;
• he is already very tired;
• we went but we didn't like it.

This is a lie to justify their own laziness. Those who want will find opportunities, those who do not want will find excuses.

The denser and more interesting the child's working day is scheduled, the more he will have time. Where there is employment, there is success and prosperity. And, therefore, an additional motivation for attending school, because this is a place where you can show off your talents.

The reluctance to go to school is a protest or a defensive reaction against some circumstances that are uncomfortable for the child. Eliminate them and the problem will be solved. Being a parent is the most responsible and difficult job. You are in this position 24 hours a day. She does not allow laziness and irresponsibility. The desire not to attend school will not arise if the family has:

• love;
• confidence;
• reasonable control;
• all-round development.

Love your children and give them more attention.

How to find out why a child does not want to go to school? Maybe the reason is the school teacher? Or the child is offended by one of the children? Or does he not like to sit at the desk where he was put? In any case, the cause must be sought by observing the child, communicating with teachers - this is the only way to find the right way to solve the problem.

My daughter went to the first grade, and she really wanted to go to school, she prepared with pleasure. But it wasn't long before the desire to go to class didn't just decrease… it disappeared altogether! Now every morning we persuade the child to go to school, and the daughter says that she would like to return to kindergarten, where she was fine. How to act in such a situation?

The trip to school does not always start smoothly, and parents are very upset because their hopes for a trouble-free start did not materialize. In fact, how is it possible - the child was preparing for school, passed the test and, most importantly, he himself said that he was tired of kindergarten, but he really wants to go to school. The long-awaited first of September has come. Flowers, elegant uniforms, photographs... And suddenly the baby's tears, his unwillingness not only to wake up in the morning, but to go to school in general. How to find out why the child does not want to go to school? Maybe the reason is the school teacher? Or the child is offended by one of the children? Or does he not like to sit at the desk where he was put? In any case, the cause must be sought by observing the child, communicating with teachers - this is the only way to find the right way to solve the problem.

How does the reluctance to go to school manifest itself?

In such a story, the age at which the child went to first grade is of great importance. And if the kid went to school at the age of six or even a little earlier, then it may very well be that he is intellectually ready for school, but his social readiness is still insufficient to go to school. This means that it is still difficult for him to accept the role of a student, build new relationships, live by new rules.

It would not be superfluous to ask the child even before the start of school, what exactly is behind the words “I want to go to school” for him, because, as a rule, the information that the child received is very one-sided. For example, a toddler may know that “school is difficult,” or “school is interesting,” or “school has a lot of breaks when all the children play together,” or “there will be a kind teacher.” Imagine the state of a child when his bright expectations are suddenly not justified.

A child's refusal to go to school can be both overt and covert. It is not at all necessary that the baby will start with a scandal every morning. He may go to class, but refuse to do homework or answer at the blackboard, communicate with classmates or participate in class life.

History from life

Three weeks have passed since the beginning of the school year. All psychologists say and write that the child must adapt to school for the first 2-3 months. Ours just quickly adapted, everything seemed to be pleasant, and suddenly one of the days he went on strike, he categorically said: “I won’t go!” No persuasion helped, and we stayed at home. They scolded, of course, they told me that studying is work, etc. As a result, they took me to class with tears a week later, and now we doubt whether we did the right thing. The teacher adheres to the position that it is not necessary to indulge the child, let him go to school like everyone else, that nothing special happens, and believes that the son is simply trying to command us. But for some reason it seems to me that there is some serious reason for such behavior.

Why does the child refuse to go to school?

There can be many reasons for children's "refusals from school". For example, all the children in the class quickly became friends, and for some reason your child is not accepted into games or they begin to tease. And it doesn’t matter at all that in kindergarten the baby had no communication problems, because now the circumstances have developed this way and not otherwise.

Perhaps the child was really scared of the teacher. This happens even in cases where the teacher is not particularly strict, does not yell at the children at all, and is generally a sincere person. But she may not look like a kindergarten teacher or a mother (nanny) at all. She may have a natural or professionally developed voice that is too loud. It can be overly demanding or just strict, which is understandable, because most elementary teachers have exactly these qualities.

The situation when the expectations of the child from the school were not met is quite common. And the parents themselves provoke it. To force or simply reconcile a child with going to school, moms and dads usually tell a lot of positive and interesting things about school. In fact, the child is faced with the first difficulties: an unusual environment, the development of new, far from simple skills of counting, reading and writing. The new daily routine, to which the child is not at all accustomed, long sitting in the classroom and very short breaks, a call to the board, where the child feels uncomfortable - all this in a complex and creates a negative mood and rejection of the school. “You have to, this is your job”, “you can’t get bad grades”, “bring a lower mark ... you won’t receive a gift” (you won’t go for a walk, etc.) ”- our words also do not instill joy and confidence in the future in the child day.

It is important!

Sometimes kids do not want to go to school, they miss their parents there very much. The reason for the refusal may also be an excessive load that the child is not ready to withstand for too long.

There are schools where kids are abused. Of course, teachers will tell you that this is not so, but a kind of “hazing”, unfortunately, is typical for some schools. Therefore, the child may be afraid to complain, because the offenders threatened: "If you complain, it will be even worse." The child may be deprived of money, beaten or forced to do something humiliating. Here the reason will be in the experiences of the child, who is unable to cope with older students.

What should not be done if the child does not want to go to school?

- No need to "torture" the child, trying to immediately find out the reason, because it is unlikely to lie on the surface.

- You should not just dismiss the child, considering such behavior as a simple whim "out of the blue." As a rule, the words “I don’t want to go to school” are not spoken by children out of laziness.

- Scolding a child is also wrong, because children rarely resort to such behavior in order to simply manipulate us from having nothing to do. If you don’t think about the child’s words, don’t try to figure out the reasons, then the next step is “going into illness”, when the baby will complain about feeling unwell, and you still won’t take him to school.

Don't force your child to go to school. Understand that if things have gone to such an extreme, then you should seriously address the problem.

- Trying to understand the situation, you should not be based only on the point of view of teachers. The opinion of the child for you should be the main thing.

What should I do if my child refuses to go to school?

Understand the gravity of the problem. After all, if the baby continues to refuse to go to school, then you will have to pick him up from there, and what to do next? Go back to kindergarten? Change schools, stay at home, hire tutors? First, ask your child carefully. You can ask him the following questions.

• What is the most interesting lesson in school?
• Are there lessons you don't like
• Which of the children have you become friends with?
• Do you like your teacher?
• How often does she compliment you?
• How often are you called to the board?
• How do you feel about it?
• What is interesting at school besides lessons?
• Do you love change?
• Is the food good at school?
• Is it easy for you to do your homework?

- Talk to the parents of your child's classmates. You may not be the only one with this problem, or other children may be telling stories at home that your child hasn't.

- Talk to the teacher. build so as not to harm your baby in any way. After all, if you tell the teacher that the child does not want to go to school, you can cause negative feelings in her, and as a result, she can break loose on the child, reproaching him.

- If the situation is not cleared up, sit in a few lessons or watch video recordings of classes, if any. You may be able to see the problem there. Discreetly observe how the child behaves in your absence. Come early to see the baby at recess or for a walk.

- If you notice that the child finds it difficult to do homework, then for some time be sure to help the baby, trying not to replace his actions with your own, but to provide reasonable support, encourage the baby and explain what is not clear.

- If you think that the problem is that the children do not want to communicate with your baby, that is, he has not yet found friends for himself, then try to take several effective steps at once: communicate with the teacher, ask her, for example, to transplant the baby for another Desk - to the child who is popular. Ask what the teacher thinks is the reason for this rejection. You can do something interesting with the baby that will interest his classmates and raise the child's rating. For example, one of the parents organized a Sunday bike ride, and the other, being a mountaineer, led the children on a hike, which made his son's classmates incredibly interested. In this way, dads helped their children change their status in the classroom and become, if not heroes, then at least those people with whom everyone wanted to communicate.

- Sometimes it is useful to take a break, that is, indeed, for several days the baby may not attend school. It is better if this is the time a week before the holidays or, conversely, after them. After all, the reason for the reluctance can be explained by the fatigue of the child.

Don't rush to pick up your child from school. Perhaps in a few days the problem will disappear by itself.

- Remember that a month and even three months is not a very long time for a child to get used to school and his new life. Therefore, be patient and help the baby cope with the difficulties that have arisen, if you see that he himself is not yet able to do it.

In the life of every parent there comes a period when the child becomes a schoolboy.

In many ways, the adaptation of the child in the school period depends on the process of education. School is the second place after the kindergarten where children are socialized: they learn to communicate, negotiate, defend their position, “look for themselves”, make friends, etc. It happens that for certain reasons children refuse to go to school.

What reasons discourage a child from attending an educational institution?

1. The child does not want to go to school - he is not yet “ripe”

It often happens that a baby at 5-6 years old already knows how to read and write, and parents decide that their child is ready to learn and send them to school. But, in addition to the level of intellectual development, parents should pay attention to other qualities of the child that determine his readiness for school.

Physiological development. If physiologically the child is ready to go to school, then he must have perseverance, the ability not to be distracted, performing a specific task, for at least 15 minutes. The student should have a developed sense of time almost like an adult. If physiologically the child has not yet matured for the learning process, then the teacher will have constant complaints, comments on bad behavior, restlessness, distraction of classmates.

morphological development. It is determined by the proportions of the body and is checked by the "Philippine Test". For this, the child is asked to reach with his right hand to his left ear, raising and lowering his hand above his head. An adult will do this with ease, but if the baby cannot perform such an exercise, then his arms are still short, respectively, the body is not ready for schooling. First of all, this is due to the level of maturation of the nervous system and the ability to perceive and process information. Such a test is often the main indicator of the "school maturity" of children.

Thus, if physiological or morphological maturation has not yet come, then it will be very difficult for the child to study at school. Maturation in each person takes place individually and the passport age can differ sharply from the biological one. If suddenly your child has a low level of physiological and morphological development, then if possible, it is better to wait another year before sending him to school. During this time, these processes in the child's body will mature and it will be completely ready. Otherwise, the child's motivation for learning may decrease, there will be a refusal to attend school, which will cause a complete negative attitude towards learning in general.

2. The child does not want to go to school - conflicts with classmates

As in any team, a student may have problems communicating with peers. The cause of the conflict can be found in the child.

In order for him to share and open up, you need to calmly and unobtrusively start a conversation, pronouncing the emotions and condition of the child that you saw on his face. If you demand and pressure, then the child will “close in on itself” and all your attempts will be in vain.

You can also approach the teacher and find out the details of the situation.

But in no case should you interfere in the conflict of children and deal with your child's peers yourself - this can aggravate the situation.

He himself must adequately get out of this situation with the help of your advice or following the recommendations of a psychologist.

3. The child does not want to go to school - a conflict with the teacher

Another common reason for refusing to attend an educational institution. Hear all complaints child to the teacher with whom he has a conflict, but do not jump to conclusions. Do not scream and swear, so that he does not withdraw into himself and close completely. Both sides must be heard.

Come to the teacher and calmly, no matter how difficult it may be, tell what happened, according to your child. Then get the teacher's point of view to be objective. Understand that the teacher, in addition to your child, has at least 20 other people and it is not easy for him. Try to get into his position and support by saying that you understand how hard it is to keep attention and find contact with so many children at the same time.

Listen to the teacher's opinion and try find a way together from the current situation, which would suit everyone. If you start to defend the rights of the child, then you will also have a conflict with the teacher, and this will not resolve the situation, but will only aggravate it. You can connect a school psychologist who will soberly assess the situation and help you find the right way out.

4. The child does not want to go to school - the child does not meet the requirements of the school environment

Sometimes it happens that parents send their child to a prestigious school, lyceum or gymnasium, but cannot provide him with the same “status” as his classmates. Fashionable and cool gadgets - that's what is the measure of being the first, the best among others. If someone does not meet such "standards", falls into the outsiders, becomes a white crow and a reason for ridicule.

Parents need to remember that while their baby goes to kindergarten, peers do not pay much attention to clothes and toys. But at school it is better to comply with the accepted conditions and environment. The children's world is cruel and if you want society to accept your child, provide appropriate conditions or transfer to an easier school.

Let the little person choose their own things, based on the "school fashion". This does not mean that you should buy him super fancy fashion items in the boutique, but certainly not the ones that you find warmer and prettier. The child knows better what to choose, so as not to stand out from the crowd.

Gradually and unobtrusively explain to your child that it is better to stand out with some achievements and qualities that will be useful in life and help you achieve more. But you yourself must understand that in order to get out of the gray mass, first the child must become “his own”, help him in this, and he will be able to achieve more.

5. The child does not want to go to school - does not keep up with other children, heavy workloads, gets tired

The conditions can be the same as in the previous reason - the desire of parents for their child to study at a prestigious school. Often in such schools there are high requirements and heavy workloads that not all children can cope with. If your child has an average development of intelligence, then it is very difficult for him to “stretch” and his strength does not correspond to the tasks and requirements.

Every parent wants the best for their child. The ratio of the balance between the abilities and requirements of the educational institution will help maintain the child's good motivation to study and attend school throughout the entire educational process.

The teacher does not have the opportunity to constantly devote time to your baby and pull him up. From this, the teacher may become irritated with him, and classmates will begin to laugh.

If you want your child to continue studying at this school, then you will have to study with him at home yourself or hire a tutor, but do not overdo it. Make sure that the child does not overwork, otherwise the body will begin to fail, and there it is not far from illness.

6. Child does not want to go to school - loss of interest in learning

Children learn easily and better in a playful way. Here a lot depends on the teacher, but not every teacher can interest and conduct a lesson in such a way that it is interesting, exciting and effortless.

If your child has come across such a teacher, you can teach the child to study the material in an interesting way using various sources of information.

Also, the reason for the loss of interest in learning can be the rapid development of new information and the completion of all tasks in the lesson. The teacher focuses on the class average, but there are children who complete tasks very quickly and get bored.

If your child belongs to the category of such, then you need to establish good contact with the teacher, convince him to give difficult tasks or increase their number. In this case, the student will be busy and the teacher will not have problems with him. In extreme cases, you can try to transfer the child to a class or school stronger.

7. The child does not want to go to school - pressure from the parents

Every parent knows that the main task of the child is to study, study and study again.

If there is constant pressure from parents and they force their child to study better than they are at the moment, punish them for their unjustified expectations, then sooner or later the child will begin to hate both the school and their parents.

It is necessary to talk with children and explain that they need to study, not you. Explain that good grades and high scores in the Unified State Examination and GIA will allow you to enter the educational institution that the child wants to go to.

The best motivation for learning is his own understanding of the importance of learning. You can help him with this by using the Socratic Dialogue.

Such communication involves posing questions in a way that contributes to the work of thinking, concentration.

Example: - Sasha, who do you want to be when you grow up?

- A doctor.

What do you need to do to become a doctor?

- Graduate from Medical University.

- What do you need to finish it?

- Act.

- And what should be done to enter, etc.

With a series of questions, you bring the child up to the moment when he says that it is necessary to study for good knowledge of the subject, which will help him become an excellent specialist.

General advice for parents to keep their child interested in going to school

1. Be a friend to your child. If the relationship is not established, then there can be no talk of any trust on the part of the child. To do this, always try to listen without judgment to everything he says and put yourself in his place in order to better understand. If you criticize, scold him, he will close, he will not tell anything. Then you will have to learn about his problems, school life, relationships with peers from the lips of a teacher, principal or other children.

To control the situation and come to the rescue in time, you need to have information. Only friendships will help you keep abreast of all the life events of your child.

2. Teach your child to disassemble and study the material on their own if he did not understand something in the lesson. On the Internet you can find a huge amount of material in an interesting presentation and with an explanation. Explain that the teacher cannot work individually with each student. If you see that the child's grades in some subject began to decrease, it is important to talk to him, perhaps he did not understand some topic, the guys went further, but he got stuck on this one. Help him sort out the material or hire a tutor so that the backlog in school does not snowball.

3. Build friendships with the teacher. Show empathy and empathy for the teacher. He is your ally and your task is to work together to make it good for both the teacher and the student. Offer your help, thank the teacher for helping your child become an adult, smart, successful and educated person.

4. If something doesn’t work out for you or you don’t know what to do contact a school psychologist or other specialist. The main thing is not to harm your child, and a qualified specialist will help you solve the problem better, faster and better.

If you want the school years to pass calmly and easily for you and your child, you should try to teach your child to communicate with peers, teachers and independently look for a solution to the tasks. But you must be there at any time, support and help him.

If you need to explain something, try to play the situation with the child, where he himself will be in the role of the offender, and you will play his role. Nothing helps to understand another person like being in his "skin".

Be a friend to your child, then he will listen to your advice, trust and ask for help. Support, praise and love your child. You are a team!