Funny and ridiculous stories about online dating. What's up with his face? A photo of a bank card on Twitter

The stereotype of stupid blondes did not arise from scratch. Of course, you can’t treat everyone with the same brush, but still, some blond beauties sometimes do things that make their hair stand on end. A selection of the most ridiculous stories that happened to American blondes through their own stupidity awaits you further.

Selfie with a monkey

This blonde most likely got good lesson. A young tourist in Bali found a cute little monkey and decided to take a picture with her. She took out a selfie stick, smiled, got ready .... and then a cute monkey pounced on her like an angry tiger. She pulled out a tuft of hair and scared the girl to death - everything is documented. Still, it’s probably not worth posing next to wild animals, even if this is a very important post that your subscribers on social networks are waiting for with bated breath.

Nanny bank robber

This story takes place in Colorado. Dumb blonde Rachel Ainspar, who, by an unfortunate coincidence, worked as a nanny, proved to everyone that idiocy is incurable when she went to rob a bank. Along with the children she was supposed to look after. She needed the money in order to return a tidy sum, which she had previously stolen from her employers. Genius solution. She arrived at the drive-in bank and gave the clerk a note stating that there was a man in the back seat of her car with her children demanding money and threatening to kill the children. What a flight of fancy!

The Girl Who Cost Dad $80,000 and Victory in Court

In 2011, a teacher at Gulliver Preparatory School named Patrick Snay sued for age discrimination when Educational establishment refused to renew the contract with him. He won the court - he was to be paid 10 thousand dollars in compensation for forced absenteeism, 60 thousand for a lawyer's fee and 80 thousand for moral damage. That is, everything was already on the ointment. And then his daughter, a stupid young blonde, prematurely posted a boastful post on Facebook: "Mom and dad won the court. Gulliver school is now the official sponsor of my trip to Europe this summer. So you need it." As a result, Patrick Sney's victory in court was annulled due to a breach of confidentiality. Presumably, stupidity in the family is a family trait, because if you violate the terms of the confidential information agreement and leak everything to your daughter, at least explain to her that this information is not for Facebook.

Selfie during a baseball game

This blonde named Kaley Hill had the distinction of running onto the field during a baseball game in order to take a selfie. And she did it, which is the best thing. When they carried her off the field.

Blonde girl with preschool development

Kelly Pickler, a participant in a television game, was asked the question: "Which European country's capital is Budapest?" And this is what she replied: "This is probably a dumb question... I thought the state was Europe... So, you have to think... Budapest... I've never even heard of such a thing. I know they They speak French there. Well, let's say... France is a country? I don't know what I'm doing." At this point, she decided to simply copy the neighbor's answer. He answered correctly - Hungary. Kelly was glad that she was so lucky, since she herself, apparently, would have chosen France, and about Hungary she asked: “What? Is this such a country? That is ... I knew that Turkey is a country, but never about Hungary did not hear". It's lovely.

Hide the keys in the vagina? Easily!

One blonde decided to show her boyfriend who's boss by stealing and hiding his keys. Where? Of course, in the vagina (this is a super-hidden for metal jagged objects). Alas, when it came time to get the keys from the cache, neither she nor her boyfriend succeeded. Deciding that the keys were lost somewhere inside her, this extremely wise person called an ambulance. But the doctor, to his surprise, could not find any foreign objects in her body. In the end, she decided that they just fell out (!) Somewhere along the way. There are no words.

banana girl

Unfortunately, this is not the fruit of an inflamed imagination, but real person. This blonde Frehley is called the Banana Girl. She has a video blog on Youtube talking about the banana diet (30-50 bananas a day and nothing else). She is a vegan and thinks that fat is toxic, that a vegan diet cures cancer, and that menstruation is the body's way of getting rid of toxins. In fact, her periods stopped a long time ago because of such a miracle diet. It is frightening that her video blog is popular and someone believes in all this nonsense and also begins to ruin their health.

lindsey from facebook

A certain blonde Lindsey from Facebook became famous for losing her job, writing a post that read something like this: "God, how I hate my job !!! My boss is a rare m...k and f...th pervert and rolls up to me, constantly forcing me to do some x ... y - just to get to the bottom. In principle, it can be understood. The only but: she forgot that this pervert is her friend. Boss Brian's response was even cooler: "Hi Lindsey, you apparently forgot to put a link to me here? Firstly, don't flatter yourself. Secondly, you've been working for us for five months and still haven't realized that I gay? Of course, I don’t cut through the office like an obvious queen, but in general this is not a secret for anyone. Thirdly, "some kind of x ... I" is your job. Well, you know, for what I'm paying you money. And lastly, you also seem to have forgotten that your probationary period ends only in two weeks. Don't bother showing up for work tomorrow. I'm serious."

Twilight (hour) zone

It's easy to get confused about time zones, and there's nothing wrong with that. But this is beyond: one stupid blonde college student asked the teacher in a lesson about time zones: "If China is ahead of us by 12 hours, why didn't they warn about the tragedy of September 11?"

Battery

This story was told by one Internet user. Once he decided to help a blonde on the road, who was crying next to the car. She complained to him, "I knew, I knew, that the battery in the door opener needed to be changed. Now I can't get into the car! Do you think there's a suitable battery in that store over there?" The guy took the keys from her, manually unlocked the driver's door and said: "Why don't you drive up to the store and ask them ... otherwise it's a long walk."

blonde syndrome

Here is another story - about how one girl helped her sister to make this such a difficult parallel parking. The sister was driving, and the heroine of the story stood behind and directed her, and "got so carried away waving her arms" that she forgot to stop waving them. She came to her senses only when she was squeezed between two cars. What came over her - she does not understand. And laughs, calling it "blonde syndrome".

Eye drops for feet

This story was told by a pharmacist on a forum for people who have encountered rude customers: a young blonde came in with a prescription for eye drops, and she needed to cure a fungal infection of her toenails. Not everyone knows, but doctors often prescribe treatment with eye or ear drops in such cases. The medicine is applied to the affected area. The girl was explained what was what, and she even had detailed instructions from the doctor, but she kept insisting that the eye drops should only be used in the eyes. And she was so rude that I had to ask her to leave. The pharmacist ended his story with the words "I hope she does not continue to treat her leg by instillation of her eyes ... Or it won't be long before gangrene."

He will stop a galloping horse, enter a burning hut

One blonde in Los Angeles somehow decided to personally solve the problem with insects in her home. Instead of calling for exterminators, this brave woman sprayed over 30 canisters of "insect bombs" indoors. Unfortunately, some source of ignition was found and an explosion occurred, in which she was badly injured. As the firefighters explained, more than 3-4 of these spray cans cannot be used at the same time.

A photo of a bank card on Twitter

This is a story about a girl who proved her stupidity on Twitter, and more than once. At first she shopped online and tweeted: "Code to reverse side my card is 388, why do they keep asking me to enter it?" Then she posted a photo of a valid debit card - with a number that was clearly visible to everyone. And said that she liked the color of the card. The next tweet, after a while, read: "I had to cancel my card. It turned out that someone else was using it. Well, okay. This new one is also nothing. "And she provided this entry with a photo of a fresh card.

Stupid drug dealer

And finally, this story: a middle-aged blonde was arrested in Texas after she handed over her car for repair: an auto mechanic called the police after finding 18 packages of marijuana hidden in the engine compartment in the car. She asked for an oil change and, as it turned out later, did not assume that for this the mechanic would have to lift the hood.

Did you fall, were you doused with water? The cat peed in your shoes, did you buy expired milk? Don't get discouraged and consider yourself the loser of the decade, because history knows more ridiculous cases of bad luck.

1. Rejected JK Rowling


12 publishers rejected the Harry Potter manuscript before Bloomsbury finally agreed to publish the immortal story about a boy who survived. It turned out such magic thanks to the advice of the eight-year-old daughter of the head of the publishing house Alice. The books were eventually translated into 60 languages, and Rowling earned about $1 billion.

2. Discarded folder of Bitcoin securities


James Howells bought 7,500 bitcoins in 2009 when their value was almost zero. By 2013, one bitcoin was valued at £613. Thus, Howells' securities are worth £4.5 million. The only problem was that Howels left his data driver in his desk drawer and forgot about it, then threw it away with unnecessary papers. After realizing the terrible, he tried to find the driver, but he was told that he was already in a general dump and could be anywhere.

3. Lost $1M Google Purchase


Google owners Larry Page and Sergey Brin entered into negotiations with Excite founder George Bell in 1999 because they wanted to sell search engine for $1 million. Bell was willing to pay no more than $750,000. Well, today Google is valued at $365 billion. Oops.

4. The profanity assassination of Hitler


In 1914, the British soldier Henry Tandy, who among the rank and file was awarded the most large quantity medals during the First World War, walked past the unarmed and wounded Adolf Hitler, lying in a ditch, but decided not to finish him off.

5. Sale of 610,000 shares instead of one


In 2005, a Japanese stock exchange employee valued his company at £190 million after a stock trading error in which he sold 610,000 shares for 1 yen (50p) instead of selling one share for 610,000 yen, as he and ordered. The exchange rejected the company's requests to cancel the sale, so the company was forced to buy back its own shares.

6. Angry Genghis Khan


First Great Khan Mongol Empire Genghis Khan tried to establish diplomatic and trade relations with Ala ad-Din Muhammad, Shah of the neighboring State of Kharezmshahs (the territory of modern Iraq and Iran) in the 13th century. However, after all of Genghis Khan's proposals were rejected and a Mongol diplomat was beheaded, Genghis Khan reacted violently to this form of refusal and sent 200,000 warriors to destroy the state.

7. Refusal to work for Brian Acton and Jan Koum


Facebook turned down programmers Brian Acton and Jan Koum when they were interviewed in 2009. A few years later, Facebook bought their project WhatsApp pf $19 billion from the rejected programmers.

8. Ordering trains that are too wide


The French State Railways has spent $16 billion on a new set of trains. Unfortunately, the trains were found to be too wide for over 1,300 platforms at stations across the country. Solving the problem costs another $50 million. It's almost like buying a car and not checking if it will fit in your garage.

9. Contract with Brian Poole and The Tremeloes


In 1962, the Decca record label was looking for new bands and new artists to sign to the label. They auditioned two bands at their studios in London and signed Brian Poole and The Tremeloes. Do you know which group they turned down? A quartet from Liverpool who would later become famous as The Beatles.

10. Mistake in company name


The British government was sued for $9 million in damages after a bureaucratic error that resulted in the company name saying extra letter, and by mistake the company was liquidated. More than 250 people lost their jobs when Taylor and Son was mistaken for Taylor and Sons, which went bankrupt in 2009.

Surely many of you have heard something so incredible and illogical that it could not be called anything other than nonsense. It turns out that our history is full of such examples.

So, we present 20 facts from history that seem to be absolute insanity, but nevertheless it all happened in reality.

In the 19th century, Mrs. Winslow's soothing syrup for children was popular in the USA and Great Britain, which was considered an indispensable assistant for mothers and nannies. It helped with any pain, because it contained morphine and ammonia. Of course, what child does not calm down if he is given such a syrup.

In the Middle Ages, about 600 thousand people were victims of accusations of witchcraft. Such accusations in those days were very difficult to prove or disprove.

Again, in the Middle Ages, those convicted of a crime were subjected to ordeals ("God's judgment", or trial by water and fire). In one version of the test, the convict had to put his hand into boiling water - if the hand remained unburned, this meant that God protected the person, and he was released.

The notorious Roman emperor Caligula loved his horse Incitatus so much that he made him first a citizen of Rome, and then a senator.

Mexican General Lopez de Santa Anna, who, by the way, became President of Mexico 11 times, with great pomp buried his own leg, which was amputated due to a wound.

In the United States in 1917, Margaret Sanger was arrested and sent to prison for opening the world's first birth control clinic.

By the way, about contraception. In Canada in the 16th century, people drank tinctures as a contraceptive. One of the ingredients of such potions was beaver testicles.

In the USA in colonial period women were not given any painkillers during childbirth. It was believed that the pain of childbirth is a punishment for the sin of the first woman, Eve.

Pope Gregory IX believed that cats are the offspring of the devil, and they were exterminated. As a result, the number of rats increased so much that the bubonic plague broke out, which killed 100 million people.

In the 13th century, about 30 thousand children and teenagers participated in the so-called Children's Crusade, because people believed that God would protect unarmed children. Most of them died on the way, the rest were enslaved.

In ancient Egypt, the servants of the pharaohs were smeared with honey so that the flies would not bother the rulers themselves.

Nintendo was founded in 1889. She released playing cards that were drawn by hand.

In the 19th century, dentures were made from the teeth of dead soldiers.

In France during the release of the first film " star Wars were still executing people on the guillotine. It was in 1977 that the last execution took place by cutting off the head with a guillotine.

The primitive inhabitants of Britain used skulls as cups.

In the 19th century, many people were afraid of being buried alive. Up until 1934, some companies produced special safety coffins equipped with rescue equipment. For example, a rope was tied to the deceased in a coffin, connected to a bell on the surface.

Between 1909 and 1970, the Australian government took native children from Aboriginal families and placed them in foster homes. Children were forced to forget their origins.

The wild flora and fauna of Saudi Arabia is unique. However, some representatives of the animal world are brought into the country. For example, all camels Saudi Arabia received from Australia.

Colombian Pedro Lopez is included in the Guinness Book of Records as the most cruel maniac. He was found guilty of killing 110 girls in 1983. Also known as the Monster of the Andes, he confessed to killing a total of 300 people. He was sentenced to 20 years, transferred to mental asylum, as he was declared insane, and released in 1998 for good behavior and cooperation with the police. On the this moment his whereabouts are unknown.

I go to the accounting department to sign a paper. Women's team. The ladies are all intelligent: you will never hear a bad word, they do not accept obscene anecdotes, thoughts are about lofty matters.
Five people available. One is writing, the other is doing a crossword puzzle, two are talking about something. Fifth is talking on the phone. Judging by her conversation, she is chatting with her husband, who is slightly ill and complains about his health.
After carefully listening to the sick man, the wife decided to calm him down:
- Don't be sad, honey. It’s better to put the #BALLNICHEK in the window and admire the beauty around: the sun is shining, the birds are singing...
I just freaked out. And, having signed the paper, he quickly dumped.

From the life of Belarusian bankers:
They sent a payment in Russian rubles through the SBRF to Privatbank - in the details of the payment it was written "for rubble" ... an MT195 request comes from Privat "we cannot identify the subject of payment" and a copy of MT100 from the SBRF is attached to it ...
I look, and there the letter "u" disappeared :)
I also could not identify the subject of payment :)

It happened in the evening on the Arkhangelsk-Moscow train in the vestibule in front of the dining car.
I went there for cigarettes. I went into the vestibule and saw three rather tipsy officers who incredibly wanted to continue the banquet and were indignant at the fact that the doors of the restaurant were closed. And they knocked on the door very delicately.
I assumed that the restaurant really could not stop working at such a time, and opened another door, which is in such a vestibule and which was not closed. It leads directly to the kitchen. I told the bartenders that the front door did not open. They quickly opened it from the inside.
The officers looked at each other in surprise, and one of them said in a slurring tongue: "But still, civilians are smarter! .."

Quarreled with her husband, sent to sleep on the sofa ...
I think I'll take him a pillow at least...
I'm sneaking... I leaned over him to slip him quietly, and he wakes up and how he yells: "SORRY... SORRY... JUST NOT SOUL!!!"

I work in a very solid state office (it will become clear which one later).
I sit in the big boss's waiting room, and one of my rather numerous responsibilities is answering the phone. There are 7 phones next to me, so I have no time to be bored. From time to time funny bells amuse me.
Here is one of them.
Trim-tryam (landline phone rings). I pick up the phone:
- Reception of such and such, good afternoon!
At the other end of the wire, an excited, but not devoid of solemnity, female voice literally says the following:
- Our girl is ready! But we thought about it and decided, we don’t need to go for her, we’ll bring her ourselves now, but where should we go?
I'm falling into a stupor...
- So ..., I'm trying to figure out - what other girl?
All sorts of bad thoughts are roaming in my head ... I squint timidly at the door of the boss, but somehow I still feel embarrassed to clarify with him about the finished girl. A brilliant idea comes to mind - to clarify with a woman.
- Uh-uh, sorry, what kind of girl? ready for what? And by the way, where are you calling?
- This is Ambulance for childbirth?
(God! I didn’t even know that such a thing existed!)
I sigh with relief, and since I have no need to hide my true place of work, I honestly answer this nice lady:
- No, no, what are you, this is the Presidential Administration!
Sweetest woman hung up.
I hope her baby girl is born happily!

(Fox cub)

This is the story of a nice man who worked on the airfield in a FOLLOW ME car, sort of like an airplane valet.
And it was his birthday. A familiar pilot from a foreign flight brought this citizen a healthy bubble of whiskey.
Mikhalych (aka the parking attendant) thought - where to hide the bubble? In car? If he finds the security service, they will throw out the balls for drinking on the airfield. Take it to your closet? Or soprut or drink before the holiday. He took it and put it in his sleeve. And imperceptibly and at hand how it is heated :).
I went to meet a board that had just landed. He escorted me to the parking lot, got out, took semaphores (two flashlights that help the flyers to correctly place the steel bird) and waits for the slowly rolling board. He raises his hands up and begins to give signs to the FAC. The plane falls into place, a bottle slowly crawls out of Mikhalych's sleeve, there is no way to fix it, can you imagine the situation? The only opportunity to slightly lower the elbow and try to push it into the sleeve, pressing it against the body, which was done.
And at this time, the plane, looking at the manipulations of Mikhalych, calmly begins to go to the side and crashes into the lighting mast with the edge of the wing. The pilot, looking at the semaphore Mikhalych, realized that this was a sign of a turn and turned.
The edge of the wing is damaged, the crew is in shock, Mikhalych is no longer working.
Here is such a story.

Here, more than once and much has been said about the strange, in our opinion, behavior of Americans in a given situation. I happened to be a participant in two very similar events and now I have something to compare with how I got out of the same situation and as an American.

In short, I decided to posteb@tsya over a friend. I went to the g # th site, I register, I write his mail.
Everything would be fine if it were not for the message: "A user with this email already exists in our database."

I go to the hospital, next to the house there is a shop, on it grandmothers, as usual, see them off with piercing glances, and on the house right above the grandmothers there is an inscription - "Video surveillance".

History was in the school. Was 9th grade.
Russian lesson. One student writes phrases at the blackboard that the teacher dictates. plus sits classroom teacher. It came to the phrase Fill with Lead. Suddenly, at the moment of writing, a cry is heard from the back of the desk: "Isn't Poured with Vinets separately?"

Once I had lunch with my husband in a cafe, well, we had lunch and left, and after 2 hours it turned out that he had forgotten his mobile phone on the table. To everyone who called him, an honest waitress picked up the phone and said that the phone was left in the cafe.
Let's go pick it up. We got the phone back, we look at the text message that came from the husband's mother.
The text is as follows: son, I called you several times - you left the phone in a cafe, take it as soon as possible before it is stolen. :)

Just walking with my son, I heard the sound of breaking glass from the apartment on the second floor, from the side of my entrance.
A male voice follows:
- Why is it so unlucky, Lord!
So I realized that I live with cultured people.
Have a nice weekend and cultural neighbors :)

After skiing on Pukhtolova Mountain, my wife and I stopped by for lunch at a cafe on the shores of the Gulf of Finland.
She ordered veal and I ordered lamb egg kebab. Haven't tried it before, I thought it would be delicious.
The order was taken by one waitress, and the dishes, a whole tray for two tables, were brought by another. Who ordered what, she, therefore, did not know. She takes the top dish and shouts: "Who has mutton eggs?"
Well, what could I do ... I shout: "I have!" :((

One day I went to a sporting goods store. At that time, there were two buyers, me and a hefty short-haired guy who was examining a bat.
Behind my back there was a thick bass: - Everyone stand. This is a robbery.
Turning around, he saw a square man in years, with a wide smile on his face.
In the next moment, the short-haired guy gave him a bat. The man managed to look at him in surprise, the guy put him down with the second blow.
It turned out that it was the owner of the store, he went for rent, he decided to joke.
The property owner who came to his senses turned out to be a normal man, the cops were not called. He escaped with a bruise, and as he said, for a former wrestler this is not a question at all.
And the bat was presented to the guy as the best buyer.

An anecdote from life, I was a witness.
In a small bakery shop in San Francisco, bread prices @: Fresh - [$1.50], yesterday - [$1].
Grandma comes into the store and asks the saleswoman:
- Please tell me, do you have yesterday's bread?
Saleswoman: - It's over.
Granny: - Please tell me, will you still have yesterday's bread today?

The saga of how Big Man went to a public toilet.
Venue: Park. In the middle of the park there is a large building of the MF type. Architecture - a large stone structure, round. The passage to the actual equipment is in a spiral along the wall. Not equipped with electricity.
Evening twilight. I approach this monument of communist architecture, tormented not by thirst, but vice versa. In front of me, in the same direction, a two-meter-long boy with a backpack is walking. Approaching the dark gloomy entrance to the "cave of natural needs", from which the aroma and suspicious whiteness on the ground spread for two meters, the kid sighs and climbs into the backpack. A respirator emerges from the backpack and is pulled over the face.
I hardly pee with laughter waiting for the kid to go inside. Bo when something like this comes from behind in the dark...
Yeah. In the dark. Wait! A headlamp with 18 blue bulbs appears from the backpack and is pulled into place. The lantern turns on and this human begins its journey through the smelly cave. I, using the backlight, fit in behind.
We go. Let's go to the urinals. We get up. From behind, where there are shocks, a clenched voice sobbing:
- B%i-i-i-i ... thank God that I'm already sitting without pants.

Does anyone remember the movie Pitch darkness"? There, at the very beginning, "this fucking starship" falls on a very inhospitable planet.
Here, the minibus on which I rode resembled this very spaceship. And with all the details. It is big, but there are few passengers. What is outside is not visible due to dirty windows. The bus flies at such a speed that the passengers are trying to buckle up to the seats with their own bags. Who is deprived of such an opportunity - flies around the cabin. A little more and there will be weightlessness. The GPS navigator does not have time to announce stops, it broadcasts continuously, not always hitting, and therefore wheezes and stutters.

And at the moment of a particularly complex and fast turn, inertia brings the grandfather to the place of the “pilot”. He, tightly clinging to the handrail, takes out a box of medicine from his pocket and hands it to the driver:
- Son, here good remedy from diarrhea. Have a drink. And then there are twenty people, I don’t have enough for everyone ...
atjitgtn2011

Early 90s. We sit and drink with one pretzel. He knows that I have friends in the KGB/FSB. It starts to push me, like - but I'm not afraid of them, like the times of "bloody hell are over", that's it, their time is over.
I tell him, because they are excellent psychologists, why should they scare you, they will talk to you anyway, you will tell everything that you know.
My interlocutor answers this, saying that this cannot be, I myself am still a psychologist.
Shall I give him a try? Just keep in mind that I'm not a GBshnik and you know about it in advance, so the effect is not the same.
He replied - let's try.
I begin in a sly voice:
- Did you write as a child, did your grandfather suffer from alcoholism, etc.
In general, he relaxed.
And then I howl:
- STAND UP WHEN THE COUNTERINTELLIGENCE IS TALKING TO YOU!!!
My friend stuttering jumped up and froze. Stupor for a minute.
Then, already spilling on a new one, he confessed:
- You know, I was actually frightened and somehow naturally presented myself in the dungeons of the State Security Service.

Told a friend who makes a living laying stoves and fireplaces.
He laid a fireplace for one figure. And when he was already laying out the pipe, he felt that they wanted to throw him away for money. And the baker took action.
When the matter came up for payment, it turned out that they would give him money much less than agreed.
He said, "OK, if that's the case, then try heating your fireplace."
Zhadyuga flooded the fireplace and got a room full of quality and dense smoke.
Permeated with the thought that the cunning stove-maker had blocked the chimney with something, he thrust the head into the fireplace and looked up. The answer was the blue sky in the mouth of the chimney above. Flooded again - again a full room of smoke. Again looked in a pipe - the sky is visible.
He had to give the missing money to the stove-maker.
After the calculation, the master climbed onto the roof and threw half a brick into the chimney, which broke the glass embedded inside the chimney.
Here's a straXovochka just in case.

My friend bought himself a fancy new digital camera. He notified me of this great event by telephone, as well as all our friends. In the evening we decided to get together and celebrate this matter.
I was a little late and arrived at the bar when everyone had already seen enough of the miracle of technology and it was already safely hidden in a bag. By the time of my arrival, they were already so “noted” that they naturally forgot for what reason they had gathered at all.
Sitting down at the table and holding out my hand to a friend, I said, "Darling, show me your device." In response - the round eyes of a friend and the words "right here ??? Can't you wait until the house?".
Everyone instantly sobered up and lay on the tables already from laughter.
Yes, the difference is in the female and male logic - I didn’t specify which device I ask to see!
At home, I showed him what to think about - ... about the photo!

Menes, founder of the 1st dynasty ancient egypt who lived around the 31st century BC. According to legend, he died while hunting hippos. At that time it was one of the favorite pastimes of the pharaohs. The enraged hippo attacked the ruler, dragged him into the water and inflicted severe injuries. Menes died from his wounds.

Drakon, ancient Greek legislator of the 7th century BC. According to legend, in the Aegina theater, according to tradition, as a respected person, they threw headdresses and capes on him, after which he suffocated under their weight.

Perilaus, ancient Greek sculptor of the mid-6th century BC. According to Diodorus Siculus, he proposed to the cruel tyrant Agrigent Falaris an invention "for the execution of his countrymen" - a copper bull in which the condemned was roasted alive. Perilai was the first victim of his creation. When he asked for payment for the work, Falarid ordered him to be roasted in an ox.

Arrhichion of Phigalia, ancient Greek athlete. During the pankration competition in the finals of the Olympic Games of 564 BC, he, trying to escape from the chokehold of his opponent, twisted him thumb on the foot. He gave up due to severe pain. However, Arrachion had already suffocated by this point. Posthumously, he was recognized as the winner of the fight, and the body was crowned with a wreath to the applause of the audience.

Cambyses II, Persian king from the Achaemenid dynasty. In 522 BC, upon learning of a rebellion in Babylon, he began to gather the remaining loyal troops. According to Herodotus, when the king mounted a horse, the tip of the scabbard of the sword fell off, the blade cut his thigh. The wound became infected and three weeks later Cambyses II died of gangrene. According to Ctesias of Cnidus, the cause of the injury was different - the Persian king, for fun, cut a branch with a knife and unsuccessfully injured his hamstring.

Aeschylus, ancient Greek playwright. He died in 456 BC in the Sicilian city of Gela. According to a legend retold by Valery Maximus and Pliny the Elder, Aeschylus died when an eagle dropped a tortoise on his head, mistaking the playwright's bald head for a stone, or a stone, mistaking the bald head for an egg.

Filit Kossky, ancient Greek scholar and poet. He died about 285 BC. At the end of his life, he was completely absorbed in the study of the paradox of the liar of the Megarian philosophical school. The scientist was so carried away by this that he died of malnutrition and insomnia.

Qin Shi Huang, chinese emperor. He died on September 10, 210 BC in his palace in Shaqiu. The cause of death was the pills of the elixir of immortality containing mercury, which the emperor took in the hope of gaining eternal life.

Chrysippus of Sol, ancient Greek Stoic philosopher. The exact date of death is unknown. Presumably 208/204 BC. According to one version, he died from uncontrollable laughter while watching a drunken donkey eating figs.

Flavius ​​Zeno, Byzantine emperor. He died on April 9, 491. According to the official version, the cause of death was an epileptic seizure. According to a later hypothesis, Zeno, being in a state of strong alcohol intoxication, was passed off as a dead man and buried alive. When he woke up and began to scream, the soldiers who were engaged in the burial reported this to his wife, Empress Ariadne. However, she deliberately did not rush to open the coffin, and Zenon managed to suffocate.

Amalasuntha, queen of the Ostrogoths. Was brought down by her cousin Theodahad and exiled to the island of Martana on Lake Bolsena. In the spring of 535, with the knowledge of the new ruler, the relatives of three Goths who had previously been executed on the orders of the queen decided to take revenge on her. They melted the bathhouse, invited Amalasunta and locked her up there. The queen died from the hot steam.

Constant II, Byzantine emperor. He died on September 15, 668 at his residence in Syracuse. When the emperor was washing his head while bathing, one of the courtiers hit him on the head with a gang, after which he disappeared. The stunned Constant II slid into the water and choked.

Li Bo, Chinese poet of the Tang Dynasty. He died in 762. Being very drunk, he rode a boat on the Yangtze River at night. Seeing the reflection of the moon in the water, Li Bai tried to catch it and drowned.

Basil I the Macedonian, Byzantine emperor. According to one version, a deer hooked him with a horn while hunting and, hooking him by the belt, dragged him through the forest for a long time until one of the bodyguards caught up with the basileus and cut the belt with a sword. Recovering his senses, the emperor ordered the execution of the warrior, suspecting him of an assassination attempt. He himself received fatal bruises during this accident. Basil I died a few days later, on August 29, 886.

Sigurd Eysteinsson, 2nd Earl of Orkney. He died around 892. Having won a battle with the Scottish leader Mael Brigte, he cut off the head of the enemy leader and tied it to his saddle. The trophy was loose. On the way back the head dangled from side to side and Brigte's teeth severely scratched Eysteinsson's leg. The wound got an infection, from which the jarl died a few days later.

Oleg the Prophet, Grand Duke of Kyiv. According to the textbook story from The Tale of Bygone Years, the Magi predicted his death from his beloved horse. The prince, having decided to change his future, stopped riding it. In 912, Oleg learned that his horse had died and came to look at the bones. At that moment, a poisonous snake crawled out of the horse's skull and bit the prince. Soon Oleg died.

John XII, Pope of Rome. The last pontiff of the pornocracy period. Liutprand of Cremona wrote that the pope was constantly indulging in debauchery and turned the Lateran Palace into a brothel. He came into conflict with the ruler of the Holy Roman Empire Otto I and was deposed by him, but then restored his power again. John XII died on May 14, 964. According to one version, he died of a stroke during intercourse with a married woman, according to another, he received a fatal blow to the head from her jealous husband, who found dad in his marital bed.

Edmund II Ironside English king. Died November 30, 1016. According to the historian Henry of Huntingdon, the king went to the restroom at night and, when he sat down over the latrine, one of the courtiers, hiding in a cesspool, stabbed him twice with a dagger in the anus and ran away. Edmund II died from his wounds. According to Gaimard, the murder weapon was a bolt from a crossbow, which was installed in a cesspool and worked when the monarch sat down on the seat.

Béla I, Hungarian king. When he was in his estate Demyos, the throne collapsed under him and the monarch was crushed by a massive canopy. Bela was taken out of the ruins in a serious condition and transported to the western borders of Hungary. Here, near the Kinish stream, he died on September 11, 1063.

William I the Conqueror, King of England. Towards the end of his life, he became very stout and, without outside help, the king could not put on shoes or climb into the saddle. At this time, the Franco-Norman rivalry intensified. The troops of King Philip I ravaged the county of Evreux. In addition, the French monarch publicly joked about the weight of William I, saying that the English king would soon give birth. In response, he undertook a punitive campaign, besieged and burned Mantes. When William I was driving through the ruins of the city, his horse accidentally stepped on burning coals, overturned in pain and fell along with the rider. When falling, the saddle horn damaged the king's stomach. The wound festered, inflammation began. After several weeks of severe pain, William I died of peritonitis on September 9, 1087 in the monastery of Saint-Gervais near Rouen. The courtiers and servants, who had not yet cooled down, threw the corpse of the monarch from his deathbed, and then took out all the valuables in the cell. During the funeral, it turned out that the body of the king did not fit in the grave. Attempts to fit him led to the fact that the belly of the deceased burst, spattering those present at the burial with blood and pus. Even incense could not drown out the strong stench.

Philip the Young, King of France. When he and a group of comrades rode along the Seine in the Paris market, his horse stumbled over a black pig that jumped out of a pile of excrement and fell forward, throwing the monarch out of the saddle over his head. A day later, on October 13, 1131, Philip the Young died from numerous fractures.

Henry I Beauclerk, King of England. After a successful hunt, he decided, against the advice of his doctor, to eat a plate of lampreys, which he loved very much. Seafood caused poisoning, the king fell ill and died on December 1, 1135.

Adrian IV, Pope. AT recent months In his lifetime, he suffered greatly from purulent tonsillitis, which led to inflammation in the mouth and throat. On September 1, 1159, the pope took a sip of wine from a fly-infested glass. Adrian IV choked. A foreign body, combined with pus, tightly clogged his throat. A few minutes later, the pontiff suffocated.

Frederick I Barbarossa, Holy Roman Emperor. June 10, 1190 during the Third crusade he died while crossing the mountain river Selif. The emperor, dressed in heavy armor and chain mail, fell from his horse into the water, was caught by a turbulent current and choked before his soldiers arrived in time to help him.

Henry II of Champagne, Count of Champagne and King of Jerusalem. On September 10, 1197, while in his palace in Acre, he leaned against a window grate, which, unable to bear his weight, failed. Henry II lost his balance and fell to the ground. His servant, trying to save the king, fell out with him and collapsed on top of his master. Henry II died instantly. The servant died a few days later from his injuries. There is an opinion that the king could have survived if another person had not landed on top.

John XXI, Pope of Rome. was engaged medical research. Some of his medical writings were popular in medieval Europe. For my scientific work added a new building to the papal palace in Viterbo. Once, when he was in this building, the roof collapsed. The Pope was pulled out of the ruins in a critical condition. A few days later, on May 20, 1277, John XXI died.

Humphrey VIII de Bohun, 4th Earl of Hereford, 3rd Earl of Essex and High Constable of England. Being in opposition to King Edward II, he joined the speech of the feudal nobility, which was called the "mutiny of dissenters." On March 16, 1322, the rebel troops met with the government army near the town of Boroughbridge in Yorkshire. As the battle progressed, Humphrey VIII led a rebel attack on a wooden bridge over the River Ur. At first, the attack was successful. However, then the royal soldier, who hid under the bridge, hit the count with a spear through a gap in the boards. The weapon entered the body through the anus, inflicting fatal wounds. The screams of Humphrey VIII in agony were so strong that they robbed the rebel army of courage, forcing them to retreat.

Edward II, English king. Under pressure from Parliament, he abdicated in favor of his son. The former monarch was imprisoned in Berkeley Castle in Gloucestershire. Edward II died in prison on 21 September 1327. According to one of the most common versions, the jailers stuck a red-hot poker into his anus, after which the king died from pain shock and damage. internal organs. However, there is an opinion that this plot is an invention of contemporaries of Edward II, who pursued the goal of discrediting the deposed monarch in connection with his possible homosexuality.

Charles II the Evil, King of Navarre. At the end of his life, he became very ill and weakened to such an extent that he could not move. The doctor recommended wrapping him from head to toe in brandy-soaked linen. On January 1, 1387, when the king's maid was doing this procedure, she noticed a thread sticking out. Instead of cutting it with scissors, she used a candle. From the fire, the alcoholized cloth instantly flared up and Charles II was burned alive.

Martin I, King of Aragon, Valencia, Sardinia, Corsica and Sicily, Count of Barcelona. On May 31, 1410, at dinner, after a hearty meal, the monarch asked his jester where he had been. He replied: “I was in the vineyard, where a deer hangs by the tail from a tree, as if he was punished for stealing figs.” Martin I was so amused by this joke that he died of asphyxia caused by uncontrollable laughter.

Vasily II the Dark, Grand Duke of Moscow. At the end of his life, he suffered from a "dry disease" - tuberculosis. Grand Duke ordered to treat himself in the usual way at that time: several times to light on different parts bodies rub. But this did not help, the patient became even worse. Gangrene developed in places of numerous burns, and on March 27, 1462, Vasily II died.

George Plantagenet, 1st Duke of Clarence. On charges of plotting against King Edward IV, he was executed in the Tower on February 18, 1478. According to legend, George Plantagenet chose drowning in a barrel of sweet wine, malvasia, as his death. But it is possible that this legend is based on a joke, since the duke was a great lover of alcohol.

Charles VIII, King of France. He died on April 7, 1498 in Amboise. Entering a too low door, he hit his head on the lintel, got a concussion and fell into a coma. A few hours later the king was gone.

Alexander VI Borgia, Pope. He was one of the darkest figures in the history of the Vatican. Died August 18, 1503. According to one version, the pope accidentally drank the poisoned wine that his son Cesare prepared to kill Cardinal Corneto. According to another opinion, the cause of the death of Alexander VI was an apple soaked in poison. He prepared it, wanting to eliminate his son, but mistakenly ate it himself.

Dmitry Ivanovich, Russian prince, the first son of Ivan IV the Terrible. At the age of 8 months, his parents took him on a pilgrimage to the Kirillo-Belozersky Monastery. On the way back, on June 4, 1553, the prince died. According to one version, when Ivan IV with his wife and son, accompanied by relatives and servants, descended the gangway from a plow on the Sheksna River, the boards turned over. All royal family fell into the water. The adults got wet, and the child choked. According to another version, while sailing along the Sheksna, Ivan IV, being in a plow, asked Tsarina Anastasia, who was following in a nearby boat, to hand over her son to him. When she held out the child, she did not hold it. Dmitry fell into the water and drowned. There is also an assumption that both of these hypotheses are fiction, and the prince simply died on the road from an illness.

Humayun, Padish of the Mughal Empire from the Baburid dynasty. He was fond of astrology and astronomy. Once, when he was leaving the palace library with a pile of books, the azan sounded. The pious padishah tried to kneel, but got entangled in the hems of his clothes, slipped on the marble stairs and rolled down. Three days later, on January 27, 1556, Humayun died from a head injury.

Pietro Aretino, Italian Renaissance writer. On October 21, 1556, in Venice, during a feast, he heard an obscene joke from one of the guests. Aretino laughed so hard that he fell off his chair and crushed his skull to death.

Henry II, King of France. In honor of the conclusion of the Treaty of Cato-Cambresia and the celebration of the wedding of his daughter, he arranged a three-day Knight Tournament in which he took part. Defeated in a duel with the Earl of Montgomery, Henry II demanded revenge from him. He refused at the sight of the excited king. But the monarch insisted on a new fight. When the opponents converged, the visor of the royal helmet moved. At the same time, Montgomery's spear broke on the armor of Henry II. Its shard flew off and pierced the king's face, entering the right eye and exiting through the ear. Losing consciousness, Henry II asked that no one accuse the count of premeditated murder. The best French doctors could not help the king. On July 10, 1559, he died from his wound.

Hans Steininger, stadtgauptman of the Austrian city of Braunau-on-the-Inn. He had a beard one and a half meters long. Steininger died on September 28, 1567. During a fire that broke out in the city, he stepped on his beard in a hurry, stumbled, fell down the stairs and broke his neck.

Christopher Marlo, English playwright. On May 30, 1593, in a London tavern, he argued with two drinking companions about the bill. In a drunken brawl that ensued, one of them stabbed the writer to death with a dagger in the eye. According to another version, Marlo's death was not accidental, and his killers were agents of the queen.

Edward Kelly, English alchemist. For unsuccessful experiments with the manufacture of gold, by order of Emperor Rudolf II, he was imprisoned in Prague. According to the traditional version, he tried to escape from the tower on a rope, but broke loose and died on November 25, 1597 from his injuries.

Tycho Brahe, Danish astronomer and astrologer. According to legend, while at a dinner at Petar Wok's in the Rožemberk Palace in Prague, he, following the etiquette, did not leave the table on time due to small needs. As a result, inflammation of the bladder occurred, from which the scientist died on October 24, 1601. Mercury poisoning, kidney failure and complications of chronic gonorrhea are also cited as other causes of his death.

Francis Bacon, English philosopher. One day his carriage ran over a chicken in the street. Seeing this, Bacon decided to freeze the dead bird. He stuffed it with fresh snow to test the extent to which the cold slows down the rotting process. Having spent a long time in the cold, the scientist caught a cold, fell ill and died on April 9, 1626. Before his death, in a letter to one of his friends, he happily reported that his experience was a success.

Jean-Baptiste Lully, French composer. Conducting his Te Deum on the occasion of the king's convalescence Louis XIV, the musician injured his leg with the tip of a cane-battoota, which at that time was beaten to the beat. The wound developed into an abscess and turned into gangrene. On March 22, 1687, Lully died.

Julien Offray de La Mettrie, french doctor and the materialist philosopher of the Enlightenment. He died on November 11, 1751 in Berlin. According to the official version, La Mettrie ate a large amount of truffle pate at a dinner with the French ambassador Tyrconnel, which caused severe indigestion and caused death. There are also versions that the philosopher was poisoned by his enemies or died of acute appendicitis.

Adolf Fredrik, King of Sweden. On February 12, 1771, he ate a lunch of lobster, caviar, sauerkraut, smoked herring, squash soup, wheat burgers, warm milk, and champagne. After that, the king died of indigestion.

Frantisek Kotzvara, Czech violist and composer. On September 2, 1791, while in London, he hired a prostitute and had sex with her using erotic self-asphyxiation. During intercourse, Kotzvara died of asphyxia.

John Kendrick, Capt. navy USA. The ship "Lady Washington" under his command led fighting against the natives on the island of Oahu in the Hawaiian archipelago. They were supported by another American ship - the "Jackal" under the command of William Brown. On December 12, 1794, after the victory over the Hawaiians, both ships saluted each other with volleys of guns. But the guns of the "Jackal" were loaded with live ammunition. A volley of buckshot at the Lady Washington claimed the lives of Hendrick and several members of his crew. The captain was buried on the sandy shores of Oahu under palm trees.

Governor Morris, American statesman, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. At the end of his life, he suffered greatly from urinary retention. The efforts of doctors did not help. In desperation, Morris took a sharp piece of whalebone from his wife's corset and thrust it into her urethra like a bougie. As a result, he damaged the inside of the urethra. An infection got into the wound, necrosis arose, and on November 6, 1816, Morris died.

William Huskisson, British MP. September 15, 1830 during the opening railway Liverpool - Manchester he, wanting to talk with the Duke of Wellington, went to the carriage in which he was. The politician did not notice the train approaching on neighboring tracks and fell under the wheels of the train. Huskisson's leg was badly crushed. He was taken to Eccles Hospital, where he died four hours later. Huskisson became the first person to die under the wheels of a train.

David Douglas, Scottish biologist and botanist. He died on July 12, 1834 while traveling to the Hawaiian Islands. Douglas fell into a trap pit along with a bull chasing him, which then trampled the scientist.

William Harrison, 9th President of the United States. He caught a cold during his two-hour inaugural address, standing in the cold wind without coat or hat. Three weeks later, the President caught a cold again during a walk. The disease progressed to pneumonia and pleurisy. To treat the president, doctors used opium, castor oil and snake venom. But Harrison got worse. Hepatitis developed, blood poisoning began. On April 4, 1841, he died after serving as president for exactly one month.

Zachary Taylor, 12th President of the United States. During the Independence Day celebration, he drank several glasses of cold milk while suffering from the heat, and also ate a lot of ice cream and fresh fruit. The president developed indigestion and a few days later, on July 9, 1850, Taylor died. According to another version, the cause of death was an intestinal infection.

Clement Vallandigham, American lawyer and politician. In his last thing he was defending a man who was accused of murder in an altercation in a hotel bar. On June 17, 1871, speaking in court, Vallandigham tried to visually show how the victim accidentally killed himself when he tried to pull a gun from his trouser pocket. The weapon shown by the lawyer turned out to be loaded. During the experiment, he accidentally shot himself in the stomach and soon died of peritonitis. His client was acquitted and released from custody.

Alan Pinkerton, American detective and spy. While walking, he slipped on the sidewalk and bit his tongue. An infection got into the wound, gangrene developed, and on July 1, 1884, Pinkerton died.

Felix Faure, President of France. On February 16, 1899, he died of a stroke in his office. According to rumors, death occurred at the moment when the courtesan and adventuress Marguerite Stenel gave a blowjob to the president. According to another version, For was poisoned.

Jack Daniel, American businessman, creator of Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey. One day, he was unable to open the safe in his office and, in a rage, kicked it, breaking his toe. Untimely medical intervention led to blood poisoning. Sepsis began and on October 10, 1911, the businessman died. Modern biographers of Jack Daniel refuted the story of the safe.

Franz Reichelt, Austrian tailor and inventor. On February 4, 1912, he decided to test his new development- "cloak-parachute", jumping with it from the lower span of the Eiffel Tower in Paris at a height of 60 meters. The experiment was unsuccessful, the parachute did not open and Reichelt died.

François Faber, Luxembourgish cyclist and winner of the Tour de France. Killed on Western front May 9, 1915. According to one version, Faber received a telegram informing him that his wife had given birth to a daughter. For joy, he leaned out of the trench and was killed by a German sniper.

Alexander I, King of Greece. One day he was walking with his sheepdog in Tata Park. Alexander I decided to visit the royal gardener, the German Sturm. He lived with two trained monkeys. They attacked the dog. The king tried to separate the animals, and was bitten by one of the monkeys. The monarch developed sepsis and on October 25, 1920 he died.

Bobby Leach, the first man to cross Niagara Falls in a barrel. During a lecture tour in New Zealand, he injured his leg after slipping on an orange peel. There was a blood poisoning, gangrene began. The leg was amputated. But despite this, Leach died two months later, on April 26, 1926.

Isadora Duncan, American dancer. She died in Nice on September 14, 1927. She got into the car, wearing her favorite long red scarf around her neck. To the mourners, Duncan shouted: "Farewell, I'm going to glory!" When the car started, the scarf wound around the wheel axle and broke her neck. Death came almost instantly.

Alexander Bogdanov, Russian physician and revolutionary. He experimented with rejuvenation through blood transfusion. One of the experiments I decided to conduct on myself. Bogdanov performed an exchange transfusion of blood from a student who suffered from malaria and tuberculosis. After that, the scientist's health deteriorated sharply. On April 7, 1928, he died. The student survived and made a full recovery. According to modern research, the cause of Bogdanov's death was incompatibility by the Rh factor.

Sherwood Anderson, American writer. He went with his wife Eleanor on a charity trip to South America funded by the US State Department. On the eve of the trip, during a farewell party, the writer accidentally swallowed a piece of a toothpick. On the ship, he developed peritonitis. The patient was lowered ashore and sent to a hospital in the Panama Canal Zone. Anderson died here on March 8, 1941.

Vladimir Smirnov, Soviet foil fencer. At the World Fencing Championships held in Rome, he fought with Matthias Beer from Germany. During the fight, his opponent's rapier broke. The fragment pierced Smirnov's mask and caused brain injury through the eye. The fencer spent about a week in an artificial coma and died on July 27, 1982.

Tennessee Williams, American playwright. He died on February 25, 1983 in a suite at the Elise Hotel in New York. Death came from suffocation. It arose as a result of an inhalation of the cap from a vial of eye drops used by Williams. The abuse of alcohol and barbiturates could also play a negative role in the death of the playwright.

Sani Abacha, Nigerian dictator. He died in Abuja on June 8, 1998. According to one version, Abacha spent the night in the company of several Indian prostitutes and died at their hands. One of the girls brought him a glass of orange juice, which contained poison. According to another assumption, the dictator died of a heart attack caused by an overdose of Viagra, which he took in large quantities before a sexual orgy.