Persuasion Technique. Byron Katie: A Technique for Dealing with the Beliefs That Poison Your Life

Friends, we continue to study the topic in detail "Man's Beliefs". And this article may well be called the most important, because it is 100% practical. Consider how to correctly form your strong positive beliefs, and how to change negative subconscious beliefs to positive ones. After all, this is the most difficult and most important thing for a person who wants to change for the better himself and change his life.

The formation of life beliefs is the formation of one's inner core, which will determine the strength of a person, and their ability to achieve success and happiness. But, before starting practical work, please carefully read the basic provisions that are presented in these articles:

How to work with your beliefs? Right Understanding

Let me remind you that the main goal is to change precisely subconscious beliefs, which determine the fate of a person by more than 80%. This is not easy for most people (95% of people cannot change their subconscious beliefs at all due to lack of knowledge and lack of possession of appropriate techniques).

The essence of this work . The human subconscious is a big and often capricious child. And in order to accept new beliefs and rebuild, he, like a small child, needs to explain everything intelligibly, chew it with examples, arguments, images, and most importantly with great love. This requires a person to be patient, kind to himself, and extremely honest with himself.

You need to work with your subconscious and beliefs with great kindness, as with a beloved child, to whom you, as a parent, patiently explain everything with your fingers, answer all his questions “why?”, carefully monitor whether he has learned everything correctly))

Forcing yourself, driving in new beliefs by force or ordering something to your subconscious will not work! This approach will not work here, only the springs will be compressed even more inside.

How to understand that your subconscious is changing in the right direction? How to determine that it accepts and understands new ideas and attitudes? As you work on yourself, you feel good: calmly, joyfully in your heart, internal resistance, tightness, negativity go away, positive energy is born inside, there is a surge of strength, clarity in thoughts and inner confidence appear that you are doing everything right (your supports you). ).

How to change your beliefs? Basic techniques!

The main tasks in changing beliefs. A more complete algorithm (performed in writing):

Identification of negative beliefs, misconceptions that spoil life, inner state, lead to fatal mistakes, sins, failures and suffering.
Identify the reasons, grounds and preferably the author of these negative beliefs.
Debunking the author's beliefs (false authority) and their foundations. Forming an understanding of why these negative beliefs are not true, cannot be true.
Consistent replacement of all negative beliefs (representations) with positive ones, with substantiation (proof) of each positive belief.

An abbreviated algorithm for replacing negative beliefs with positive ones (in writing):

Writing down negative beliefs.
Replacing them with positive ones, with justification (the answer to the question is why is that right?).

Other Belief Formation Techniques:

Disclosure of the topic and the formation of ideas through a creative essay.
Free written prayer (see below for details).
Formation of motivation. More details in the article - Motives are certain beliefs (attitudes), so this technique also needs to be mastered and applied.

Now about everything in more detail.

The main methods of replacing negative beliefs (attitudes) with positive ones

How the reduced algorithm for replacing negative with positive works. Consider an example of a negative attitude towards money.

1. We relax, fill ourselves with a stream of Light, ideally we enter a meditative state (how to do this - a link in the article below).

2. We ask appropriate questions inside ourselves, for example: “money is for me ...”, “how do I feel about money?”, “why don’t I like it?”, etc. And we listen to what thoughts come to mind from inside, rise from the subconscious. We write down all thoughts-programs in a column on the left side of the page.

3. Negative money beliefs. For me money is:

something that always makes me nervous and worried, a source of suffering
it's the evil that tempts me
what I live for is the most important thing for me
this is my god i pray to
other thoughts (beliefs)

They wrote it out, looked it over, asked themselves again, supplemented it, if there was anything.

4. We replace in writing each negative belief with a positive idea. We replace it with how it is correct, how you would like to treat Money. The generated positive volume should be 3 times more than the negative.

Money doesn't make me sad, it makes me happy. Money gives me more good opportunities. I am learning to earn and manage them calmly, without being nervous even when I fail. Worrying about money does not increase their amount. I replace experiences with the belief that I will definitely learn how to earn as much as I need. It's just a matter of skill in the field. I make money one of the sources of joy in my life, not suffering.
is the energy of the universe, the energy to achieve success in the material world. This is not evil, but an opportunity to multiply good. I am learning to do more good with the help of money both in my destiny and in relation to other people as well. Money does not tempt, but simply reveals my weaknesses so that I can see them and get rid of them.
Money is not the most important thing for me, it is only a means, energy to achieve my goals. I am learning to control the power of money, I want to harness it, and not be a slave to money.
Money is not God, but one of His elements, which is given to people for the development of society. God for me is the Creator of the world, the Creator. And money is my good servant, which I manage, and do not pray for them.

After writing, we reread it several times and supplement what was written, if there is anything. In the process of reading new ideas, beliefs, positive images are formed, which enter the subconscious, rebuilding it. In the process of reading, if the positive answers are found correctly, you will feel good in your soul and joyful in your heart. This is the main indicator that positive changes are happening to you.

Difficulties you may encounter in this job:

It happens that the problem in the subconscious is so resistant that it is not even possible to extract negative beliefs from it. As the saying goes, "not a single thought in my head." In this case, individual work is needed with or, which from the outside can reveal and help replace the negative beliefs of the subconscious with positive ones (they will take you by the hand and guide you).
Sometimes, in order for positive changes to take place, you need to identify not only the negative belief itself (the causes of the problem), but also its author - remember where you picked up this delusion (from whom you heard it). And then you need to tell yourself that this person is not an authority in this area for me, not an expert, therefore what he said is not true and no longer has an influence on me and my destiny.
It happens that a person's subconsciousness for a number of reasons turns out to be blocked, closed to transformations (there are karmic influences, locks, prohibitions). In this case, either the help of a Mentor or a Spiritual Healer will be needed. Or you need to open your subconscious on your own, for this I recommend an article -.

Other methods of forming positive beliefs and getting rid of negative ones

It is advisable to master all the good methods and techniques for forming your core. Many of the presented methods are applicable when a person, in principle, has few ideas, beliefs on some topic, on some issue, as they say “zero” (when consciousness is either completely pure or there is practically nothing in it on the relevant topic ).

In this case, there are several directions and methods of working with beliefs:

Cognition is a set of correct knowledge, ideas, study of examples, experience of successful in the relevant field: reading articles, books on the topic, watching movies. But at the same time, it is important to understand that not every book or article provides adequate ideas and knowledge. One must be able to distinguish and choose the right authorities and authors.
and contemplation in a meditative state. When the subconscious is calm and the body is completely relaxed, it is possible to gain knowledge of any phenomena, concepts, spheres in meditation through communication with (question-answer). But before that, you still need to get there. Such abilities are not available to everyone. As a rule, mastering such techniques, learning to calm the mind, is a regular training with a Mentor and a set of energy, which are mastered from several months to several years.
Written work, “pen and parchment” technique , which, in my deep conviction, is one of the most effective and fruitful in the formation of ideas and in reprogramming your subconscious. But, again, it is necessary to perform the corresponding written tasks aimed at forming positive beliefs in a certain state, which can be called meditative.

You can master the meditative state by working on the following articles :

Having learned at least the initial meditation techniques, you will increase the efficiency and comfort of working with your subconscious by several times.

Pen and Parchment Techniques or Forming Beliefs Through Writing:

Everything is extremely simple here, the most accessible technique is an arbitrary “Composition on the topic ...”. And the approach must be very creative. The most important thing when doing such writing assignments is to write everything from the Soul, from the heart. In this case, the energy necessary for the formation of beliefs is born and invested. And you need to write not dryly, but with images, examples, with a vision, with feelings, and not just reprint words from your head onto paper. Then it will work.

For example, essays on the topic:

“My Soul is beautiful and I love it very much” (if you want to form beliefs of a positive attitude towards yourself).
“God is not a tyrant, God is Love and Good” (if you form an attitude towards God).
“Money is not bad, but on the contrary, it is good and important, because ...” (if you build an attitude towards days).
“I am no longer afraid of people, they are not bad, but different, I am learning to distinguish people and find worthy ones ...” (if you strive to form adequate beliefs in relation to people).
Etc.

As you probably noticed, the titles of such works can be very different - from designating a general theme to very specific moods. Therefore, such essays for development may vary:

general essay on...
composition-mood
essay-choice (my choice is such and such, because ...)

There is also an important and very effective development technique based on written assignments “Written Prayer”!

This is another excellent technique of self-exploration and awakening to life, through taking responsibility for it, which I use in my work and which can be attributed to cognitive psychology.

The author of the technique called "Work" is Byron Katie.
This woman spent about 10 years in a deep depression and one day, quite by accident, she suddenly realized that it was not the events of her life that made her unhappy, but thoughts about them and nothing more.
She saw that if she does not believe in her negative belief, she does not suffer, but as soon as she believes in it, life turns into hell. And it became a revelation. Her life was completely turned upside down, since then, according to Byron, for more than 25 years she has not suffered a single day.

Currently, B. Katie is known as the author of books: “To love what is”, “I need your love - is it so?”, “Joy has a thousand names.” She travels with lectures around the world, introducing people with the "Work", helping them to come to harmony and deliverance from suffering. ] She also created her own school "Work", within which seminars and intensives are held, where you can immerse yourself in work on yourself and the Institute "Work", where you can go through different stages of training as an instructor.

So how does it work.

For example, you feel bad when you believe the thought: "My husband does not love me."
You ask yourself 4 invariable questions of work:

1.Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that this is true?
3. Find a reasonable reason to continue believing in this thought?
4. How do you feel without this thought?

After that, you do a "Reversal”, look at how true the opposite statements are. If until now it seemed to you that your husband does not love you, then it may suddenly turn out that in fact it is you who do not love your husband, being offended by him and thinking about him like that, and yet you do not love yourself when you make yourself suffer believing in your negative belief.

And now in more detail. The first self-exploration question is designed to let you see how much you have believed in your negative belief without actually having any real reason or concrete facts for it. After all, you must admit that you cannot know for sure whether your husband loves you or it only seems to you, and in the following questions you will see for yourself. But first you need to doubt your innocence.

My husband doesn't love me. It's true?
- Yes.
- Can you absolutely know that this is true?
- Not.
- Can you find at least one reasonable reason to believe in this idea?

Here you are invited to take responsibility for choosing their beliefs and beliefs upon themselves. Answer yourself - how do you feel when you believe in the thought "My husband does not love me"? You are suffering... And who will you be without this thought?
A happy woman, joyful, light ... And it's not just about her husband. He is a mirror of your own attitude towards yourself. It's up to you - in thought and faith. Your life, your feelings are only your responsibility.

Find three examples to prove that this statement is true.
Give three examples of when you don't love yourself, reacting like a child, blaming others for it, and refusing to take responsibility for your experiences.

Let's turn it away from us "I don't love my husband"- the moment you accuse him, you don't love him. But you demand love from him. Do you think he has no grudges against you and his inner suffering? In addition, are you sure that if, for example, your husband does not look at you when you tell him something, this means that he does not love you? He can love you and still do things that offend you. But this is not his problem and fault. Give three examples (situations) confirming that you also do not love your husband and that this is no less true than the statement that your husband does not love you.

From the reverse "My husband loves me." Find three examples in which you were sure that your husband loves you, were you happy and grateful to him for this? Could it be that, for example, you love when they constantly talk to you, love a lot of attention, and your husband comes home from work, is silent, eats and goes to bed, and you think that he does not love you. And believe it and suffer.
It's true? He can love you very much, but at the same time, love has a completely different meaning for him, for example, he lives with you, eats food prepared by you, and this means that every day he chooses you, and not another woman, and in his worldview it could mean I love her. Etc.

After this work, you will feel that the thought “My husband does not love me” no longer brings you so much suffering, it does not seem so true, it is more and more difficult to believe in it, you learn to take responsibility for yourself and your thoughts, as well as the feelings they evoke when you believe in them.

By working through it again and again, your life will really change. And you will never again be able to believe in the thought “My husband does not love me” and similar negative ones.

Good luck! I hope this technique will be useful to you.

A. Beck gives a list of beliefs that predispose to.

Here are some of them:

To be happy, you must always succeed.
To be happy, you need everyone to love you.
If I make a mistake, it will mean that I am stupid.
I can not live without you.
If a person argues with me, it means that he does not like me.
My human dignity depends on what others think of me.

A patient with a long history of depression holds on tightly to his negative beliefs and conclusions. He does not want to examine or question them. They have become the same part of his essence, which is, for example, gender. All life is built in such a way as to prove to oneself and others the truth of one's ideas.

Working with Beliefs includes the study of beliefs and their modification. Identifying beliefs is the first step to changing them. The therapist helps the patient to discover what belief is the basis of this or that automatic thought, and then encourages him to check the validity of this belief.

When beliefs are formulated and thus brought to light, their absurdity or maladaptive nature becomes apparent to many patients. For example, one patient believed that people who disagreed with his opinion treated him badly. But he was also convinced that it was impossible to please everyone at once. Comparing the second belief with the first, he came to the conclusion that it should not matter much to him whether others agree with him or not.

Not some mythical character, but my classmate came to the reunion in skin-tight jeans! Six months earlier, she had only decided to change the belief that men are attracted to "hangers." But as a result, she herself became ... that very “hanger”! Because I figured out how to remove negative programs from the subconscious that have prevented her from losing weight all her life:

fear of the outside world;
loyalty to family traditions;
ban on the expression of emotions.

Valya grew up without a father. Mom called for caution, because there is no one to intercede for them. And the higher the need for protection, the thicker the border with the world “grows” in a person. A smart organism begins to demonstrate its power and impressiveness to the environment. How to erase such limiting beliefs and beliefs from the subconscious is further.

As for traditions, her mother and grandmother “consoled” her for 30 years - we are all magnificent, this is our genetics. Consciously, the girl did not want to put up with it, but the subconsciousness put the installations on the "shelves", with inventory numbers.

Of course, 100% victory cannot be attributed to psychology. Valya started going to fitness. But she also dared to enroll there after she was able to change her beliefs.

This story is an example of how attitudes from childhood prevent you from losing weight. But they block progress in different areas:

career;
high earnings;
mutual love;
family idyll, etc.

If a child is criticized frequently, in a generalized form such as "you're confused," "you're always late," or "good for nothing," rules are laid down that deny the possibility of success. And if we repeat “only the one who steals has a lot of money”, then poverty programs are formed. It is necessary to change beliefs if there is a desire to live in abundance.

It happens that despite the titanic efforts, it is not possible to fulfill the plan. Mystic? No. The brain is sure that if a negative program is implemented, it will cause harm. To eliminate the threat, the body can even get sick. Remember, before the exam, the temperature rises, the stomach hurts ... This is a psychogenic reaction. You will have to make an effort to let go of beliefs.

Dealing with limiting beliefs

How to let go of negative beliefs if you are not even familiar with them? No way. Therefore, we first identify the complexes. There are three main ways.

visualization of the situation.
Analysis of the environment (friends, relatives, colleagues).
Explore characters from movies and books.

For visualization, you need to choose one area of life in which the greatest number of problems has accumulated. Then mentally plunge into it, find all the fears. And then get rid of negative beliefs, like old trash in a closet.

For example, finance. Sit comfortably, relax by taking a few deep breaths in and out. Visualize the situation as if you already have a lot of money. Think: what evil will follow this well-being? What can scare you?

Relations with friends will deteriorate, they will envy you, encroach on your life ... Consider everything in detail. Record as many fears as possible. Then you will have to work with them in a different way - how to change your beliefs.

The next step is to identify the stereotypes accepted in the environment. People who constantly communicate have a similar view of the world. It is unrealistic to change the beliefs that you are told every day, how not to listen to them?

Consider the example of loneliness. If a mother raised her daughter without a father, then the daughter is likely to raise her children herself. It is often the result of limiting beliefs and fears. How to get rid of them we will tell a little further.

The most popular fear is that a man, sooner or later, will betray, hurt, including physical. This is how the father acted. Girlfriends also say that "they are all ... traitors." Argue - does not even come to mind!

Pathological loners grow up in complete families. What are their fears? Perhaps the mother kept saying that she was sacrificing herself for her husband and children. There was a program: "family life is a heavy burden." Only getting rid of limiting beliefs can drastically change this scenario.

Consciously, you may disagree with someone. But on the "subcortex" other information is recorded. How to change a belief if it is in the subconscious? There is no logical way to get to it. The main thing is not to run ahead and conduct a meticulous analysis of consciousness. And then we will master the technique of changing beliefs.

So, the third step is to analyze your favorite characters from movies and books. Their attitudes are your stereotypes. All limiting beliefs are only in our head, they are not in reality! To complete the picture, it is worth remembering who they imagined themselves as children. And understand what type of behavior is exemplary for you.

If it was Xena the Warrior Princess, then it makes sense if you're still fighting for a place under the Sun. When a girl feels uncomfortable in feminine dresses, a change in beliefs is definitely required.

The main thing, in the process of doing the exercises, is to honestly write down everything that you experience - laziness, shame, fear. These lists will help you develop your own tactics - how to get rid of beliefs.

How to let go of negative beliefs

It's hard to influence someone else's opinion. Even more difficult - on your own. How to change your own beliefs? Only having at hand a list of negative views of the world. There are two popular techniques.

Repeating affirmations is the easiest. Change the negative settings from the list into positive ones. For example, "family life is constant sacrifice" rephrased to "family life is comfortable and fun." Change in beliefs will come as a result of repetition. According to the observations of psychologists, the result is obtained by those who devote a lot of time to this. Those who do little, have zero results.

Apparently, there is a border that still needs to be reached. Each phrase should be repeated at least 100 times a day to "get through". It takes too much time. The output is a voice recorder. Record thoughts and listen as soon as you have time.

How to get rid of beliefs that contain the words "should" and "should"? Change them to positive ones: “I love”, “I want”, “I like”. Debts and obligations are oppressive if in too high a concentration.

The second technique is more complex BSFF (Be Set Free Fast - become free quickly) created by American psychologist Larry Nims. This is a 4-step algorithm that helps you gradually connect with your subconscious mind and get rid of limiting beliefs.

Choose a word to encode information. For example, “brush”, it should evoke associations with cleaning, help mentally erase beliefs.
Enter this code in the instruction for the subconscious (“Always, as soon as I find a problem, and say the code word “brush”, you are my subconscious mind, fix this problem in the best way. Thank you for helping me.”)
Next, read the negative statement from your list and say the code word. You have to repeat until you start to yawn. This is a sign that the consciousness is turned off and the subconscious mind perfectly absorbs information.
The final step in dealing with limiting beliefs is to close old problems for good. To do this, you need to say positive attitudes, instead of negative ones, also repeating the word-code at the end. (For example, "I forgive all the men who hurt me. They just didn't know how to do otherwise. Brush.")

Here's how to work with beliefs! It looks like a hoax. There are many conflicting opinions about this technique. But positive results have also been recorded.

Don't forget to praise yourself

In principle, you are already well done, because you have read the article up to this point. It means that hands have not fallen, and there is a desire to change life for the better. It remains to take one more step forward. Now you know how to get rid of negative attitudes, and there are no excuses left.

Replacing beliefs is painstaking work, but the effect is worth the effort. Every time you achieve positive results, do not forget to praise yourself. It stimulates. And in itself is already a positive program charged for success.

The catch is that at first there will certainly be relapses. Despair, tears and even panic. There will be good reasons to stop everything - a lot of work will pile up, the boss will go on the attack, or friends will begin to overcome whining. You need to be ready for this. In this way, the subconscious mind pulls you back into your "comfort zone", it actively draws your attention to what causes discomfort. Dealing with limiting beliefs is like walking a tightrope, it requires balance.

Changing beliefs can take a month or a year. By the way, good advice. Clean up your social contacts. It is impossible to completely change the environment, but try to spend more time with positive, purposeful people. And give yourself time. To pull out splinters, you have to work hard. Now you know how to change beliefs. Dare!