Catch a lie: techniques and methods, deciphering sign language. The main speech signs of a lie

Lies are common modern world communicative phenomenon. Scientific research and polls show that people lie on a daily basis. However, deceiving every day, people themselves do not know how to understand that a person is lying.

Only a "professional" liar and manipulator knows how to regulate his behavior so that others do not reveal his deceit. Psychologists and physiognomists are able to determine a lie by observing a person. But everyone can learn to recognize deception.

There are many definitions of lying. In logic, a lie is the opposite of truth, a statement that obviously does not correspond to the truth. In everyday life, a lie is called a deception realized by a person.

In psychology, a lie is a deliberate attempt to form a belief in another person that the speaker himself considers wrong. Conscious utterance of a lie is a kind of communication tactic chosen in a particular situation.

There are many types of lies:

hoax,
falsification,
simulation,
plagiarism,
flattery,
fairy tales,
slander,
bluff,
self-incrimination, self-deception,
exaggeration or understatement
perjury, perjury,
a good lie
good lies,
naked,
children's,
pathological
involuntary.

Why do people cheat

Why do people lie several times a day? Everyday lie is not a gross deceit, but the concealment of insignificant information, it is a lie “on trifles”. Everyone wants to appear better and does not want to spoil relations with others.

A weighty and significant lie is always associated with some significant situation for the individual. It can destroy the structure of personality and spoil the life of the individual.

A person who is dishonest with himself and others is forced to live in constant voltage from having to hide the truth. The truth will sooner or later be revealed, and the revealed deception will entail a lot of negative consequences.

Scientists have two main versions of why people deliberately lie, even when they understand that lying will not lead to anything good:

Fear. Why does a person lie? Because he is afraid to tell the truth, even if he cannot admit it to himself.
Belief in the necessity of lying. An individual can be sure that it is better for the interlocutor not to know the truth, since it is difficult to accept, understand, and experience it.

Unfortunately, people are used to deceiving each other, but an unscrupulous lie is not a normal phenomenon, but an immoral act.

Every child is taught from childhood to tell only the truth and tell everything to his parents. But the baby still learns to lie over time, looking at adults. Children easily detect inconsistencies in the words and actions of adults and soon realize that untruth can be used as a way to get what they want.

Unless the person is an inveterate liar who takes delight and pleasure in deceit, he will feel negative emotions and feelings when speaking lies. Lying generates shame, fear, and guilt for making the decision to deceive someone and taking that action.

Saying and experiencing lies is. negative emotions during the lie worry in direct and figuratively of this word, in the body begin to occur physiological changes expressing excitement. The brain sends to the muscles nerve impulses, which cause visible to others and manifestations of deception.

Signs of a lie

How to know if a person is lying? What are the signs of a lie that help declassify it?

No known sign of a lie can be regarded as direct evidence of it. Conversely, the absence of signs of deception does not mean that a person is sincere.

You need to evaluate the behavior of the interlocutor as a whole. Individual actions and movements are considered in combination with other manifestations of a person in relation to the interlocutor.

The behavior of the subject who lies is different from his normal, normal behavior. Therefore, it is much easier to determine that a person is lying if he is close or familiar. Determining whether a stranger or an unfamiliar person is lying is much more difficult.

When determining deception, a person is carefully observed, signs of a lie are noticed and his situational behavior is compared with normal behavior accepted in a particular situation and environment. Without knowing a person, it is easy to make a mistake and confuse his habitual action with a sign of a lie.

It is possible to catch the interlocutor in a lie, knowing the truth in advance or having the opportunity to verify the information heard. And how do you know that a person is lying when it is impossible to check his words? In this case, knowledge of the signs of a lie will come in handy.

Signs of a lie are verbal and non-verbal. Verbally, deceit is expressed in verbal form.

Non-verbal signs are divided into:

physiological,
mimic,
gestural.

NONVERBAL SIGNS OF DECEPTION:

Increased sweating and increased heart rate. Moisturizes the palms, forehead and skin area above the upper lip.
Dry mouth. From experiences, the throat dries up, a person often drinks water or swallows saliva.
Heavy, irregular breathing or its delay; deep breaths and heavy exhalations.
Constriction of the pupils, rapid blinking; staring into the eyes or, conversely, the inability to look at the interlocutor.
Change in complexion, redness, blanching or blotching of the skin.
The appearance of goosebumps on the body.
Tension in the face: twitching of facial muscles, wry smile, furrowed brows.
Trembling in the voice, stuttering, coughing, change in timbre, tone, volume of the voice (provided that these speech defects are not caused by anything).
Inappropriate and untimely smile or smirk.
Chaotic and fussy movements: walking back and forth, rocking the body and the like.
Rubbing and scratching various parts of the body.
Frequent touching of the neck and face: nose, lips, eyes, forehead, ears, back of the head.
Biting lips, fingers or nails.
Nervous twitching and tapping of limbs on the floor or other surfaces.
Crossed arms or legs, so-called bodily locks.
The desire to hide hands behind the back, in pockets, under the table.

All of the above manifestations can be observed when a person is simply worried, worried, trying to please. For example, before public speaking or meeting new people. To determine for sure that a person is lying, you can compare his actions with words.

VERBAL SIGNS OF A LIE:

Unwillingness to discuss the topic and constant attempts to change it are clear signs of withholding information.
Reticence, evasion, or short yes or no answers. When there is something to hide, a person will be afraid to say too much.
Oaths. The interlocutor zealously tries to prove his case, swears and repeatedly gives his word of honor.
Long reflections before saying or answering something; protracted pauses in conversation.
Repeated flattery and attempts to enter. So the liar is trying to switch attention, reduce the vigilance of the interlocutor.
Attempts to arouse sympathy and self-pity. This is done so that the interlocutor does not even think to question the incoming information. Is it possible to doubt the sincerity of the "unfortunate" person?
Demonstration of indifference, ostentatious indifference to the topic under discussion.
Another significant sign of lying is behavioral. The deceiver never keeps his promises and always finds excuses for this.

It cannot be said that a person is lying if only one sign of lying is found. There should be several of them, both verbal and non-verbal.

How to deal with a scammer

According to statistics, the vast majority of women believe that the truth better than deceit, at the same time, every second man is sure that sweet lie essential in difficult life situations. But with age, men lie less, try to be frank.

Unfortunately, some people lie so skillfully that it is difficult to declassify them, relying only on the signs of a lie. On help will come. Having sufficient life experience, you can guess that a person is lying and protect yourself from the consequences of deception.

Lies are classified depending on the degree of complexity, the level of "skill" of the deceiver:

First level

Manipulation without the intention of influencing beliefs. Such a lie is called childish. The deceiver utters a clear lie, not realizing that it is not difficult to declassify him. Why do people lie like children? Because they are afraid of punishment or want to receive a reward, hiding negative or inventing positive deeds respectively.

Second level

The manipulator convinces the interlocutor of the veracity of the information, realizing that this will affect all subsequent thoughts and actions. Roughly speaking, second-level liars know how to "show off", mislead.

Third level

A liar knows how to deceive so that he is not caught in a lie. This is skillful manipulation and skillful deception. Fraudsters use tricks, techniques and deception strategies. Such "advanced" lies are not uncommon in politics, journalism, commerce, and entertainment.

Having noticed several signs of lies in the behavior of the interlocutor at once, it is worth considering why the person is openly lying and how to continue to behave with him. But do not rush to bring charges without checking your guesses.

Suspecting the dishonesty of the interlocutor, you need to:

Try to keep calm. natural reaction for untruth - resentment and indignation. But if you express them in the heat of the moment, the deceiver will find a way to justify himself.
Guess why the person is lying now. Say exactly why special person he's lying, only he can.
Check your assumptions, if necessary, find evidence and facts.
Talk to the deceiver, giving him the opportunity to explain the situation, confirm or refute the truthful information.
Establish fraud. Having understood the situation, you need to make a decision to forgive the deceiver or stop due to the loss of trust in him.
Not everyone will find the courage to expose a liar, sometimes it is dangerous to do so. But when it comes to intra-family conflicts or disagreements at work, it is simply necessary to find out why people lie and dot the i's.

Once a person who lied, it is difficult to regain trust, and if deception becomes a habit, others cease to respect and love. Liars and deceivers often become outcasts, stop in their development, degrade.

Lies can destroy any relationship, personal life and career. Why people lie knowing this remains a mystery. It is much more effective to communicate sincerely, openly, honestly express the available information, your thoughts and feelings to others.

"You will receive payment within seven days." "I have never robbed my employer." “All of our work is verified and certified.”

It would be nice to know when people are telling you the truth and when they are lying, right? Here's how to do it. Janine Driver taught FBI, CIA and ATF agents how to spot lies for decades, and her book You Can't Lie to Me explains how.

“Many people want to take advantage of you,” she says. To avoid this, follow these steps to help you identify falsehood:

1. Start by observing the person. Before you try to say that someone is cheating on you, you should get an idea of how a person behaves in a relaxed atmosphere. "Talk to him about the Red Sox or his high school friend who found him on Facebook," she suggests. You need this basic understanding of the behavior because certain movements on his part that may indicate problems, such as shifting from foot to foot or repeatedly using "uh" and "okay," may just be the normal way for this individual to communicate.

"That's the basic idea of a person when you try to connect with them," Driver says. "You need at least three minutes for this."

2. Listen carefully. Analyzing responses (statements) can help you recognize when someone is telling a lie. For example, if you ask polar questions (that can be answered with yes or no), then the answer is must contain words "Yes" or "No". Watch out for the negative that doesn't contain the word "No".

Let's say you ask, "Have you ever stolen something from your employer?" If the answer is, "I would never do that," that can serve as a signal, as Driver says. It's okay if the person says, "No, never" (because the answer has the word "no"). If you analyze the phrase "I would never do this", then you will understand that we are talking about action in the future, which is not the answer to your question about events in the past.

3. Watch for "hot spots". When someone starts behaving suspiciously, out of the ordinary, Driver advises to pay attention to "hot spots" - those areas that you should keep a close eye on. Janine uses the children's song "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" to give a direct indication of which parts of the body need to be observed in order to see a person's true feelings. For example, as she says, if a person shrugged, then this indicates uncertainty.

And don't forget to watch your facial expressions. When the eyebrows go up, it usually means that the person likes what he just saw or heard. If someone bites his lip, then this indicates the opposite. A smirk or half-smile indicates contempt or a sense of superiority over others (Dick Cheney always wore that expression, Driver notes). But it can also mean complacency and pride.

4. Ask additional questions. You should not think that a person is lying just because you noticed some kind of deviation in his behavior, but this is definitely an occasion to ask additional questions. For example, after the request “please explain this gap in your resume”, the answer may be “I was on maternity leave and raised my children.” “If a person says it with some contempt, then it can only mean one thing - he is lying,” says Driver.

Therefore, she recommends asking something like this: "I may be wrong, but it seemed to me that you felt a sense of pride when I asked you about that time." And here the person can tell you how proud they are of being a parent. You may not know about this unless you ask, so don't try to be a telepath.

5. Ask if they are telling you the truth. The last question you should ask is: "Did you tell the truth by answering all the questions?". "We're looking for a yes or no answer," Driver says. Surprisingly, some admit that they lied a little (or a lot!) Now you can find out the truth.

If you have a person in front of you who you can trust, but you still want to make sure that he is telling the truth, you can ask next question: "Why should I trust you?"

Here's the trick: whatever the other person says, ask that question again: "That's not the answer to my question, so why should I trust you?"

Now listen carefully to the answer. It should be short, simple, and to the point, such as "Because I told the truth." But a liar will try to explain something to you for a very long time. He may become angry with you and say that even if he tells the truth again, you still won’t believe him, and he doesn’t want to work with you anyway. On the other hand, the liar may also refer to his work colleagues: "You can ask them if I'm telling the truth or not!"

Driver says that when you hear something like this, it's better to pay attention to these pins. "You'll probably be surprised at what you can find out," Janine says.

Minda Tsetlin, inc.com
Translation by Tatyana Gorban

Dedicated to my wife Olga, without whom this book would never have been written.

I also want to say a huge thank you to Valery Korovin, Mikhail Pelekhatom, Tatyana Neverova, Alexander Lukin, Viktor Makarov, Anna Kovbas, and Mikhail Baev for their help in writing and publishing this book.

Who is this book for and how to use it

We resort to lies all the time different reasons and in different situations. How many troubles and problems could have been avoided if we knew the true situation and were not misled! This book is one of a small attempt to do everything possible to reduce the lies and deceit in our lives, which means that someone becomes a little happier.

I have been engaged in lie detection for more than 20 years, during which I have read many books on this topic, I have seen great amount professionals in the industry, both domestic and foreign. There have been many discoveries and disappointments along the way.

Those who have read The Psychology of Lies by P. Ekman will surely agree that his book consists of a set of articles united by one topic. And if you read carefully, then some definitions seem completely strange. For example, a definition that sounds like "hot spots" - what is it? You involuntarily wonder what these "points" are, how they "burn" and, most importantly, who set them on fire? It is clear that this is just a metaphor, but if we are talking about scientific approach and about epistemology, then behind the metaphor there should be a criterion-accurate descriptive process of phenomena and their systemic categorization and classification. What we clearly do not see in Ekman. His great merit is that he was the first to draw attention to this direction. social psychology and maybe even anthropology, like psychology of lies, and the first to use face and emotions for detection. However, the series “Lie to Me” brought him popularity, and, probably, this is right: unique person should remain in the history of the science of emotions, however, the real names in real practical lie detection will not be eminent laboratory scientists, but real practitioners like John Reid, James A. Matte and Nathan Gordon. It was they who, for the first time in a situation of real investigations and checks, began to describe non-verbal signs (markers) of lies.

This book is one of the first and, I hope, not the last attempts to try to describe systematic approach to toolless lie detection. written enough plain language, it is based on thousands of studies and real field experiments and a sample that anyone can envy social psychologist or a psychotherapist, and most importantly - it is absolutely scientific. Theory and science are the concentrated and systematized experience of generations. Generations of polygraph examiners and verifiers work every day within the framework of instrumentless lie detection, the basics of which I would like to outline on the pages of this book.

To whom will it be useful?

Psychologists and psychotherapists. The book will reveal the views of polygraph examiners and verifiers not only on the psychology of lies, but also on a number of psychotypes, it will help to understand the motives of people's behavior, find out where they tell the truth and where they lie, find out why they do it, and learn how to help clients faster.

Polygraph examiners - in order to raise the level of their knowledge, gain additional qualifications, increase their competitiveness in the market and learn new models of lie detection.

Lawyers and employees law enforcement. The book will tell you about ways to get really reliable information from clients or opponents, which will help you not only be one step ahead, but also build a more competent line of defense or attack in legal conflicts.

Business owners, negotiators, project managers. Lie detection is one of the most powerful weapons in business. Agree that it is good to know what your employees, subordinates, business partners or contractors really think about you. The book will allow you to understand when your subordinates or superiors are cunning, and tell you that you can always use it to your advantage. This knowledge can save not only your time, but also a huge amount of money. After all, no one wants to make a deal with liars.

Recruitment specialists. The material presented in the book will make interviews and interviews more technologically advanced and less energy intensive. The book sets out a system of questions that are easy to ask - and you will immediately understand whether the applicant is telling the truth.

Middle managers / highly specialized experts with problems in personal life. Speculating on problems in your personal life is not very good, but if you really want to know what your loved one or close person, then this book is one of the few ways to know the truth. In addition, you can understand in a few seconds how promising this conversation or new acquaintance is.

Anyone interested in psychology. If you are a fan of the series “Lie to me”, “The Mentalist” and you are interested in the psychology of lies, then you know that there are a lot of popular books in bookstores on the topic of lie detection, but not a single one that is really literate. This book is the first professional approach to the theory of lie detection.

Thus, I present to you a kind of tutorial on toolless lie detection. The material presented in this book allows you to use it as a practical tutorial on lie detection. It contains not only advice, but also practical tasks for self-learning skills. If the dear reader completes at least part of these tasks and exercises, he will be able to understand lies much better.

Introduction

Because of a lie, the person he was disappears, destroying his pride and his dignity.

Without lies, a person will die of despair and boredom.

I have been doing lie detection for a long time. Working in this area allowed me to pay attention to the fact that the number of people who condemn lies, calling it one of the most terrible human inventions, is huge. It is possible that it is lies that lead people to various unpleasant situations, entailing catastrophic consequences. Many philosophers since ancient times have argued that a lie is dangerous, it gives rise to distrust, contempt for a liar. The very word "lie" is negative character. When we say the phrase "You lied", we not only give a negative description speech behavior our opponent, but by doing so we even humiliate him. The book of books, the Bible, teaches us that a lie led man to sin. Pay attention to how interesting our brain is: liars in our minds are always someone else, that is, not you and me. Here the question naturally arises: can we confidently say that this is so, or does it make sense to more deeply understand this phenomenon that surrounds a person throughout his life?

The American psychologist Bella de Paulo conducted an experiment that consisted of the following: she asked 147 people to keep a diary in which the subjects had to describe each time they had to mislead someone, that is, to tell a lie. The results of this study showed that, according to the most conservative estimates, the people who took part in this experiment deviated from the truth on average 1.5 times a day.

Another researcher, an American scientist at the University of Massachusetts Robert Feldman, calculated that people at the first stage of acquaintance manage to embellish something in their speech three times in 10 minutes of conversation. It is this experiment that the character of the TV series Lie to Me refers to - renowned professor, lie-detection specialist Call Lightman, when he tells a terrorist that, on average, people lie three times in a 10-minute conversation.

When you lie - it's always unpleasant. How to determine by gestures and facial expressions to determine whether the interlocutor is lying to you.

When speaking a lie, a person practically does not think about his behavior at this moment, and in fact, by the gestures of a person, you can determine whether he is telling the truth or a lie. In order to recognize the emotions of your interlocutor or just another person, it is important to be observant enough and no psychological tricks are needed here.

Learning to identify the signs of a lie is not at all difficult, and with their help you can not only catch a deceiver in a lie, but also use them yourself when, due to some circumstances, it is necessary to tell a lie, for good, it goes without saying.

Sign No. 1. During a conversation, try to follow the gaze of the interlocutor. When a person tells a lie, he averts his eyes for a longer period than usual, or, on the contrary, simply pierces through with a stubborn look. Such an unnatural behavior of a person's eyes will indicate that a lie has slipped somewhere.

Sign #2: Smiling during a lie is also different from smiling wholeheartedly during a truthful conversation. One corner of the mouth, as a rule, is raised at the deceiver, and the smile itself is lightning fast - it appeared and immediately disappeared and only on the lips. Eyes in a deceptive smile do not take part.

Sign number 3. Very often, during a lie, a person’s face becomes covered with a blush or complexion and completely changes its color. The liar's voice gets a little louder, but these timbres are very hard to pick up.

Sign number 4. Neurotic touches of the mouth, nose, ear, forehead also indicate a lie, and if the mouth is half covered by the hand of your interlocutor, then most likely he is not yawning, but just lying.

Sign No. 5. Remember that during a sincere conversation, a person is overwhelmed with emotions, feelings, and a personal attitude to the subject of the conversation. And liars try to hide their hands in their pockets or stand at attention, because what is invented cannot be conveyed by gestures and body movements. By the way, this applies to the whole body. Deceivers feel very constrained upper part bodies, because in this way they try to concentrate their possibilities of lying and strain their strength for persuasion. Whereas the liar's legs are relaxed or simply express nervousness by trembling or swaying.

Sign number 6. You can expose the deception with the help of clarifying questions, it is unlikely that deceivers think through the little things of their fantasies. In addition, a lie is very quickly forgotten, and often even a few minutes a liar forgets about his frivolous lies.

The experience of observing signs of deception will help control your behavior when you have to lie about something, and even experienced psychologist won't catch you in a lie.