How to live emotions to the end. Power over emotions - accepting and living them

Our main purpose on earth is to be happy. As the main natural resource created for us beautiful world with all its blessings and beauties. And now we are faced with the task of monitoring the harmony of our inner peace, maintain fine organization female soul in a state of pleasure and joy.

A friend of mine recently said: I immediately realized that the event will take place excellent, because all the women looked pleased!» And in these simple words hidden deep truth.

When a woman is satisfied and happy, everyone around is happy, but if she falls into a state of variable cloudiness or hurricane rainfall with thunderstorms, then be sure that she will do everything possible so that everyone who is next to her feels this charm. Is not it?

That is why it is so important for women to gently and reverently engage in personal hygiene emotional sphere . Having learned to enjoy spa treatments for the body, we need to master the course of spa treatments for the soul.

But before we talk about them, I would like to decide how ready you are to learn how to manage your emotions and why you need it.

Storm or calm: why control emotions?

I often hear statements like this: My emotions, as I want, and show! I want - I scream, I want - I am silent! I do not want to deal with them, I like to be unpredictable and spontaneous!". And this is good. But how unpredictable and how spontaneous?

We women tend to jump from one extreme to another. Having learned something in one place, we begin to apply it, then listening to someone else, we change the wind and drive our sailboat in the other direction. The only thing we sometimes forget to listen to before changing course is our own inner voice, to their reactions and true experiences. But focusing only on someone else's opinion without relying on one's own feelings is like a black hole into which life energy irretrievably leaks.

Our emotions are priceless gift. They help us determine what we really want and get what we want, while experiencing joy and pleasure. It is they who help us to express ourselves from the most different sides to be aware of their own characteristics, abilities, opportunities. They allow us to bathe in happiness and love. And all the emotions that are created by nature have their own purpose, and, therefore, have the right to exist and live.

Negative emotions: hide or live?

Due to the peculiarities of upbringing, we often hide our experiences, driving them into the hidden corners of our inner world. Sometimes we hide so deeply that we ourselves forget about them. But they remember, seethe there, boil and create discomfort in sensations, leading to intrapersonal and external conflicts, to emotional outbursts or illnesses.

In our information age, we all know about psychosomatics, that unlived emotions remain in the body, creating places impassable for the free flow of energy, which leads to a distortion of the perception of events, and even to a distortion of the history of a person's life. We dream, we dream, but we cannot allow ourselves to get what we want.

Everything in life has its place and time. To breathe freely and live based on your own true desires and feelings, it is important to give them a way, getting rid of inner feeling gravity.

Well, let's start mastering SPA procedures for the soul in order to learn how to restore your psychoenergetic life resource and create a happy life filled with colorful colors.

We, women, all the forces of nature come to the rescue, including - lunar rhythms. On the days of the waning moon, it is good to practice cleansing from negative emotions. In Academy privacy» Larisa Renard has accumulated an arsenal of practices for living negative emotions. I will talk about those that I use effectively myself.

15 Practices for Living with Negative Emotions

Osho "Mystical Rose"

In the past, in my work with music students, I often used camping trips as a simple and accessible meeting with my experiences and emotions. Climbing the mountains or scrambling in the cave darkness, the guys lived through a kaleidoscope of inner impressions, leading them from anger and peaks of aggression in moments of difficult places to the highest delight and admiration. Many have ceased to be fond of alcohol and smoking, because they have learned to experience the sharpness of emotions in other forms.

While doing the Osho Mystic Rose practice at the Beauty of Love training, I realize how deeply and flexibly our emotions can be felt during adventures with true friends. From sadness to joy - within reach.

"Whipping Pillow"

At the Academy, we often use pillows as a means of expressing repressed anger. This is also possible at home. The "whipping cushion" must be used exclusively for its intended purpose and stored in a specially designated place. In those moments when you feel an internal upsurge of aggressive feelings, turn on loud music (I like the soundtrack to the film "Requiem for a Dream") and start beating the pillow with screams, exhaling pain, anger, allowing aggression to come out. After that, it is better to take a shower or bath.

Salt and water

In moments of difficult experiences, ordinary salt will help, healing properties which have been known since ancient times. First, dissolve 1 kg of salt in water and say the words to the water: "Element of water, cleanse me of everything that has time to go."

Lying in the bath, feel how the salt draws out all the toxins from the body, dissolving pain, anger, everything that presses and burdens. After 15 minutes, start draining the water and feel at the same time how it gently and carefully takes away everything that you are ready to get rid of. After that, it is important to take a shower, imagining how a clean stream fills you with new fresh energy.

Salt and body cleansing

You can also use salt in the shower. Carefully rub the salt into the skin counterclockwise, helping to draw out everything that is outdated, painful. Breathe out the emotions that you feel.

The hygiene of the emotions is just as useful as the hygiene of the body. Start cleansing from the crown, go through all the chakras, massage all the joints with salt, as well as the palms and feet. Then step into the shower, imagining that you are bathing in a waterfall, and let the jets wash over your body from the outside. Feel how they penetrate inside, clearing all the pain, eroding internal clamps, blocks, barriers, taking all the negativity into the funnel in the form of dirty streams.

You need to finish the procedure when you feel lightness in your body and feel how the water jets have become crystal clear. This procedure helps not only to get rid of stagnant emotions, but also heals from diseases of the body.

We beat the dishes

I really like the old and proven way of expressing the accumulated aggression - beating old cymbals. You can go to the forest, find comfortable spot where no one will stop you from shouting loudly, without denying yourself anything. The main thing is to put your soul into this process. Not to play, but to sincerely throw out everything that has boiled up. In order not to disturb the natural ecology, take an old tablecloth with you, which you can pre-lay on the ground, and then collect it together with the fragments.

We growl and hiss

Have you ever tried growling like a wild cat or hissing like a snake? Sometimes it is difficult to express painful feelings in words, then this method will be useful to you.

It is important to make sounds on the exhale, feeling how the sound clears the inner space, taking away the tormenting pain. Here you will feel the full depth of the expression "like cats scratch their souls." Growling sounds create the necessary vibration, which helps to pull out deeply hidden emotions.

We play musical instruments

My sister, in moments of painful experiences, plays the piano or the violin in such a way that one can easily guess from the sound what storms are raging in her soul. If you know how to play any instrument, you can use this method. Music is able to express our inner crying or pain, suppressed aggression or hidden joy, which is so compressed that it is impossible to breathe.

Dynamic Meditations

Powerful relaxation is brought by dynamic meditations, which, like internal massage, are able to break many blocks and clamps, stir up the body, giving it the opportunity to move and breathe freely. At the Academy, we actively apply this method, getting a lasting result in the work on living through negative and long-hidden emotions in the depths of the soul.

Addressed pronunciation of experiences

I like the targeted pronunciation of experiences. You can imagine in front of you a person in relation to whom you feel certain emotions and, having told him about your pain, about your anger, throw out everything you feel. Then look at him, listen to your changed feelings, when you are ready, forgive him and ask for his forgiveness.

Writing practices

Techniques for writing letters work effectively. Identify who you are experiencing painful emotions for, and write a letter to this person, trying to put your feelings into words. This letter does not need to be sent. The main thing is to realize the feelings and express them on paper. There is different techniques. One of the directions was developed in detail by Collin Tipping and described in his book Radical Forgiveness.

Psychotherapy

Of course, one of the deepest methods to help you live your negative emotions is psychotherapy. It is often scary to look into the depths of your inner world, into your past, which was not always cloudless. And then the psychotherapist is able to take the hand and lead us along the path of tormenting and frightening experiences, helping us to be aware of our emotions, feelings, to find a place for them in life.

Body practices and breathing

Conscious attitude to emotions opens the way to happy life. Light a candle, turn on the music (for example, the Healing Sounds of the Chakras disc) and, closing your eyes, walk through your body with your mind's eye, finding the points where pain is felt.

Ask yourself questions: “What is this pain? What fears, what emotions are hidden behind it? Listen to yourself, your wise body will certainly give an answer. Then begin to exhale the found fear into the flame of the candle until you feel lightness and liberation. At this moment, it is important to realize that the emotion frozen in the body was necessary for you, taught you something, helped you become who you are. Thank your fear, anger or pain for the lessons you have learned, realize that now you have become an adult and are ready to try to build your life differently.

Art therapy

The use of art therapy in working with the experience of emotions is priceless. You can draw your feelings, dance them, sculpt your fears and pain from plasticine or dough, invent musical compositions using improvised means: playing on empty bottles or on spoons, creating a cacophony of sounds, chaos, leading to inner harmony.

At the moment of experiencing emotions, it is important to breathe, feeling how with each exhalation you release a frozen experience, pouring it into a drawing or into a pliable form of plasticine, or into a movement of the body, or releasing it through sound.

Working with stone and earth

In the book "Discovering a new self" Larisa Renard describes the technique of working with stone. Take a stone in the palm of your hand and place it on a level solar plexus. Start rotating your hands counterclockwise and exhale the emotions that torment you into the stone, inhale - and exhale again with a groan of feelings. Feeling lightness in the body, complete this process. Then take another stone and start rotating it clockwise at the level of the solar plexus, breathing in the power of the earth, confidence and calmness, thereby forming your psychoenergetic resource. Then gratefully give the stones to the earth.

By the way, rage often fuels the desire for success. Instead of hiding these emotions, give yourself the opportunity to channel the aggressive energy into something else, such as the start of a project or exercise.

We have everything: aggression and joy, hatred and love, envy and acceptance. It is important to learn to be aware of your emotions, find their causes and live them in the most suitable form. One-sidedly developed, we are uninteresting even to ourselves. Only a delightful cocktail of qualities and feelings makes us uniquely beautiful, amazing, bewitching, happy!

Breathe full chest, feel life with every cell of your body, and we, the teachers of Larisa Renard's Academy of Private Life, are always ready to support you on your way to yourself!

Living emotions - sequentially: first living, then emotions.
No matter how surprising it may be, but in our body there are a lot of receptors for the perception of space, but not a single one for the perception of time. We perceive time already through the mind and the interpretation of space signals. Living emotions is a fulfilling exercise emotional reaction in time. Translating into practice - the implementation of the interpretation of all the signals that our body expresses in the process of emotional response. Keyword - all: these signals exist regardless of the human consciousness, but this consciousness can either fix them or not. It is understood that all signals have a certain energy and consciousness must realize this energy in one form or another. If it does not realize it, then the energy accumulates in the physical body in the form of various pains.
Utility breathing exercises in emotional matters, it is connected with the fact that breathing is a rhythmic process of alternating four phases "inhalation - fullness of the lungs - exhalation - emptying of the lungs". This allows you to feel both critical (point) stages and long ones. Since the perception of time is based on the perception of rhythm and the perception of sequence, the emotional cycle is projected onto the cycle of respiratory movements, which, at the level of habit, is projected onto the cycle of time phases.
In terms of the spectrum of emotions, I really like the Kellermann-Plutchik-Comte theory (good material on theory).
This is about incentives and behavior. Since disturbance of emotional perception affects physical body I really like what is presented physiological processes, as if sewn into the strategy of responding to emotions.
In this context, the so-called coping strategies and psychological defenses are just as important. In fact, the formation of both those and others in the child through the imitation of the behavior of adults in certain situations is built into the upbringing process. stressful situations. A bright emotion is a strong irritant, that is, stress, so we also protect ourselves from bright emotions, either consciously or not. If this is unconscious, then there is a high risk that the defense will press and turn on even in cases where the emotion is not bright and may well be adequately expressed by the corresponding behavior.
The social acceptability of certain forms of behavior is a matter of education, as I wrote above. In fact, psychological trainings are androgogical forms of adult education. This was the situation because adulthood was something taken for granted, only children were brought up, and the elderly were perceived exclusively as weak, sick. As life expectancy has increased, adults and the elderly also need to be trained in skills social behavior. Since initially adulthood was idealized and not assumed to be a source of social troubles, behavior correction was carried out only through treatment (in medicine), primarily in mentally ill people. Therefore, historically emotional problems lie in the field of psychology, at the junction with psychotherapy and psychiatry. In fact, there is a concept of "lifelong education", and upbringing, along with training, is the main component of education, therefore, in principle modern man should be engaged not only in self-education, but also in self-education. First of all, through mastering the skills of living emotions, so that the unprocessed waste of an illiterately organized emotional life a person in the form of unreacted impulses was not polluted social environment and did not require additional costs to repair the damage caused by their toxicity. B-)

We lose sight of who we really are. We limit our capacity for self-knowledge and narrow the field of experience. The methods we use to detach ourselves from pain and other emotions are firmly ingrained in us by the age of five - just at the time when we begin to understand the concepts of loss and death.

This way psychological protection exists in order to maintain consciousness in stressful situations. However, it can harm us in adult life. Apparently, the question is acute: is it worth experiencing emotions or should they be suppressed?

TaylorHerring/Flickr.com

When we suppress emotions, we become tougher in general, we lose the feeling of the fullness of life, the connection with desires. We often turn to our past, looking for recipes for a happy life in childhood memories.

In order to find meaning in our daily actions, we must understand and study emotions well. They can be healthy or unhealthy, primary or secondary.

• Primary emotions - healthy emotions They help us to function, survive and develop.
• Secondary emotions are considered unhealthy. We feel them as a result of making decisions, developing beliefs, in the process of growing up. If we try to suppress emotions instead of learning from them and working with them, we only increase their negative impact.

Although some emotions hinder us, we can use them for self-development. Many people are afraid own feelings but they are not as scary as it might seem. We can learn to let them out and do it safely for ourselves.

Not the antonym of rationality. They complement the cold and prudent mind, help guide its work.

TaylorHerring/Flickr.com

By allowing ourselves to experience feelings to the fullest, we begin to better understand what we really want and think about, modeling behavior according to this new knowledge.

Feeling emotions is not the same as letting them control our behavior. If you learn to experience even the most unhealthy emotions in a safe and healthy way, you can minimize their destructive effect. For example, you will learn to feel pain, but not become a victim at the same time, or experience anger without aggression.

This problem is especially relevant for men who are taught from childhood not only to suppress emotions, but also to separate feelings "for girls" from feelings "for boys". Because of this, men often have a distorted understanding and perception of emotions. Psychologists note the following features:

• Men tend to "convert" one sensation into another. Stereotypical female feelings, such as sadness, they transform into anger or pride, because they believe that the manifestation of such emotions will make them worthy members of society.
• Men show their emotions where it is considered acceptable. For example, they may hug after scoring a goal on the football field. Unfortunately, in other situations, men are less likely to show positive feelings, fearing that society will perceive them incorrectly.
• Men can experience feelings physically. Most often this is expressed in a headache or back pain.
• Men limit themselves twice in the expression of emotions. First, they fear public disapproval. Secondly, even when a man is ready to experience his emotions openly, for example, to open up to a partner, he does not always know how to do it right. As a result, even close person may negatively perceive the manifestation of feelings and be afraid of a storm of emotions. In such a situation, the need to correctly express, experience, regulate and interpret emotions becomes obvious.

But none of us are born with the ability to manage emotions. This needs to be learned (preferably with early years) and never stop there.

TaylorHerring/Flickr.com

Practice emotional therapy can help us understand and accept emotions and transform them in a positive way. Its meaning is to constantly remember feelings without trying to suppress them, increase tolerance for spontaneous emotions and live in harmony with them.

When emotions take over, start breathing deeply.

One of the most common practices that is often used by people with chronic pain. Don't suppress your emotions, instead relax and allow yourself to feel and accept everything to the fullest. Feeling anger, sadness, pain, or desire is normal. You just need to learn how to live with these feelings without discomfort. And for this, start experiencing emotions.

Don't judge your own emotions

Can not be bad emotions. This is specific kind adaptation that shows how you dealt with difficult situations at the beginning of your life. Emotion is not a rational response to the current situation, but shows that you are aware of similar circumstances and the feeling reaction to them. Remembering and reproducing emotions makes us more open to the world around us, because now we know what exactly causes this or that reaction in us, and we do not seek to evaluate it.

Find a way to calm your emotions, not feed them

In other words, you need to find a way to experience the feeling without activating or feeding it. If you're hurt or angry, don't waste time mentally simulating the situation. Feel the pain and just wait for this wave of feelings to subside, and then let go. Don't try to identify with that emotion, don't focus on that state. Even negative emotions are important: they instill in us natural reaction adaptation to the situation. This will lead to a feeling of self-compassion. This means that there has been a significant shift in self-perception, which, in fact, is quite difficult to achieve.

Remember, we can learn to experience all emotions while remaining rational enough to analyze or make decisions. To learn to live with feelings, you need to understand them. In this way, you will gain the ability to process and regulate your emotions. This is essential if you ever want to truly build and improve your life.

Psychologists, especially Gestaltists, like to say that experiencing feelings is extremely beneficial. Well, why is it needed, is this accommodation? Why you can’t go down in the TV series, eat a cake or say to yourself “get it together, rag.” Why pick something that already hurts, and it would be better to forget about it altogether?

And here's the thing. Each feeling has a very specific physical reflection in the body - this is how we understand that we generally feel something. Anxiety can be felt with strong contraction in the abdomen, short breathing, fear is a beating heart, trembling. The notorious butterflies in the stomach are a pleasant tone in the lower abdomen, excitement.

We feel, and the brain processes the signals of the body and throws us words and familiar situations to describe the physical sensation that we are experiencing. And he, the brain, helps to evaluate experiences as legitimate or forbidden. Something like this - how our parents and other significant adults dealt with them in our own childhood. What feelings did they have in response to ours? Was it difficult for them to be around or easy? All of this affects our own way of experiencing feelings bodily.

And when we get used to stop and suppress the sensations flowing through our body, we practically lock this energy inside ourselves. We clench our teeth, squeeze a lump in our throat, frown our forehead, hunch our shoulders and do not let ourselves breathe, strain our stomach with all our might, stopping anger, disappointment, guilt, joy or sadness. My head hurts, my neck hurts, my stomach hurts, it just becomes physically ill. Well, if you live so long, then the sensitivity to these sensations subsides, and they are felt as the norm, but the body feels bad, it gets sick and wears out from internal struggle. Or if suddenly the body is overtaken by an unexpected relaxation, then it is not at all comfortable in it, and we are looking for a new reason for alarm. The brain also works intrusive thoughts, endless mental dialogues and monologues, self-criticism: all this has to do with the processes of the body.

Actually, that is why psychotherapy is useful, especially with the use of bodily techniques. Working with a psychologist teaches us what we forgot how to do when we grew up - to give sensations and feelings to be, don't try to control or get rid of them. But rather, feel and realize. Thus, self-worth, self-respect is maintained. It is worth mentioning that it is not necessary to continuously concentrate on bodily sensations in order to live feelings - sometimes it is enough to acknowledge that they exist, verbal support in a dialogue with a psychologist and self-support. I was able to try these ways of unfolding experiences as a client and also as a psychologist, and all these different experiences impressed me very much.

Important here and psychological work to mention with trauma - it has a chance to give the body to complete the movement contained in it and make it freer, because an unexperienced trauma creates a constant background of tension, hypervigilance and hypersensitivity to external influences. But in the case of a traumatic event that is underexperienced, working with experiences is different. Here, and in general, in the case of trauma, we are not talking about surrendering to the feeling entirely, letting it absorb itself - in this case, the traumatist falls into the funnel of trauma. Therefore, it is important to learn to recognize the boundaries own body, resources, be able to use breathing and grounding techniques, as well as contain - find a specific place for a feeling in the body. Well, to discover bodily resources.

Good exercises for restoring bodily sensitivity can be found in Peter Levin's book Healing from Trauma. Author's program that will restore health to your body”, there are several exercises in the publication “Techniques of Gestalt Therapy for Every Day”.

Pay attention to children - how they freely cry, sob excitedly, laugh, how they jump and run when they are happy, how they reach for hugs, and insistently declare their desires. They follow their body and live their lives to the fullest when there is support from their parents, affection, security. It is worth learning this back - to live through feelings in order to free yourself for new stories, impressions, feelings.

Evgeniya Bulyubash
psychologist, gestalt therapist, Moscow

From childhood we were taught that we need to be good and correct. Read comfortable. BUT good girl which? Always in good mood, smiling, pleasant in communication.

We have grown up a long time ago, but still subconsciously forbid ourselves to experience negative emotions.

So we swallow insults, unable to defend our boundaries in order to look good. We suppress anger and anger in ourselves, smiling through tears, trying to be positive when everything inside is boiling or howling from mental pain.

And all these negative emotions do not go anywhere. They get stuck in energy blocks in the body, preventing the free passage of energy.

Negative emotions eventually turn into diseases:

Do you often have a sore throat and swallowing? - there is a lump of all your unspoken worth.

Cough? - this is when you already want to scream at everyone: I exist, finally listen to me, respect me!

A runny nose is your unshed tears.

Do you often lash out at loved ones? All because you endure until the last moment, until all this negativity begins to overflow.

By the way, your inner negativity attracts negative energy from the outside - so there are brawlers and you constantly find yourself in unpleasant situations! The world reflects what is inside you!

You have the right to negative emotions.

be sad. Get angry. Experience anger. Get annoyed.

Just do it in an environmentally friendly way. Not only to yourself, but also to those around you.

How to deal with negative emotions

1. Write down on paper everything that you feel. Any words, how will it go. You can also be indecent) You need to write until you let go. Then it is desirable to burn all this writing or tear it into small pieces and throw it away.

2. Just scribble from the heart, draw scribbles, at least paint the whole sheet

3. Tear paper

4. Beat the pillow

5. Dishes can also be beaten, unnecessary)))

6. Go to an uninhabited place - a forest, for example, and shout from the heart

7. Dance a crazy dance to some dynamic music)))

8. You can cry too! What a relief it was for me when I allowed myself to do this! Many forbid themselves to cry, but for a woman it is generally necessary. At least once a month) Tears cleanse and relieve tension.

Listen to yourself! Your subconscious will tell you the best way for you.

Allow yourself negative emotions - you will get sick less, and positive emotions become much brighter.

Because by forbidding ourselves negative emotions, we also put a stopcock on our positive ones, turning off the feeling. Because of this, by the way, there are problems in sex, when it is difficult to relax and experience pleasure.

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