“How it becomes easier to live, breathe, when you are freed from being tied to someone else's opinion, from the need to be good, recognized by someone.
You wonder: “Why haven’t you done this before?” After all, it's not fatal! On the contrary, if at the same time your essence, truth, comes out of the shadow, then, as a rule, there is no condemnation. And if there is, it doesn't matter.
And so it becomes good! You celebrate this freedom - another aspect of yourself has been freed!”
Natalia Prokofieva

But the result is worth it - you will increase your value, strengthen your inner spiritual core and release the fear of judgment that hinders the realization of your potential.

#1 Forgive and accept yourself

Realize that you are who you are. Understand that you have the right to make mistakes. At any given time, you are doing your best.

If you cannot forgive yourself for some act, you will constantly see its reflection in the eyes of others.

It will seem to you that they know everything and condemn everything.

And, as a rule, you will find yourself in situations where your shortcomings will be pointed out.

Fear of condemnation from the outside is a sure sign that a person considers himself guilty in some way or not as he should be, or does not accept something in himself.

Pay attention to what exactly you are afraid of, what you are reacting to. In the presence of what kind of people do you feel out of place, as if you are about to hear what you are so afraid of?

What a person carefully hides usually catches the eye.

If you can't yet accept the quality or behavior that bothers you, figure out how you will respond to people who point it out to you.

Do not make excuses, admit what you are “accused” of:

• “It is your right to think so. Count what you want."
• “Yes, I did it on purpose. I have reasons for this."

People will no longer want to attack you. Usually those who have the same carriage look for flaws in others.

When you can forgive and accept yourself with all the dots and bumps, you won't have to prepare special phrases.

You will not care about the opinions of others. You will feel relief and be free.

#2 Give yourself what you need - support and praise

The most delicious bun that a person who depends on someone else's opinion wants to get is approval and praise.

Moreover, the more people appreciate your work, the more pleasant. But your value will not increase from this, because it is internal state.

From the inside, it will not work to be filled with the outside, no matter how much effort you make. So it's better to go the other way.

Instead of wasting energy in pursuit of approval, point them directly at yourself. Praise yourself.

Focus on your positive sides, celebrate any victory, stop judging yourself for the slightest mistake or inaction.

If you feel bad do not rush to seek support from the environment, even close. At such moments, as luck would have it, everyone disappears somewhere: either the subscriber is unavailable, then everyone just left.

Support yourself. Tell yourself everything that hurts, cry if necessary, write a letter to the offender and tear it up. Pour yourself some delicious tea and wrap yourself in a blanket.

At some point in your life, you realize that striving to do everything perfectly becomes an impossible task.
They have already put so much pressure on themselves that they simply do not have the strength to cope with all this.

What is it, a protest of the soul or temporary impotence?

Let people think whatever they want about you. You won't die from this.

It was in your childhood that you depended on your parents and their authoritative opinion. Now you are adults and are able to determine what is best for you.

#4 Step on your fear

You give up your desires, comfort, service, which you deserve, from the implementation of ideas, plans, just because you are afraid of someone else's opinion.

• “And what will the neighbor from the apartment across from me or my boss think of me?”
• “No, I can't go to salsa. I will look out of place there, because I can’t do anything, and the age is not the same.”
• “This is an expensive boutique. It's kind of hard to get in there. Anyway, I won’t buy anything, sellers will evaluate me.”

Here are some phrases that people who depend on someone else's opinion often say to themselves.

Even if you are misunderstood, condemned or laughed at, these are just insignificant seconds of their life. The rest of the time people think about themselves.

They don't care about anyone but themselves.

Sometimes if I'm afraid to do something, I say to myself: "5 minutes of shame will not kill me, but I will get what I want."

Get over your fear and let people think whatever they want, but do what you really want.

Practice "I choose MYSELF"

I propose to perform a simple exercise, with which you will see how you limit yourself and how interesting your life can become.

Write a list of desires that you put off precisely because you depend on someone else's opinion.

You will be surprised how many pleasant, useful things you are depriving yourself of.

Put on one side of the scale your current life without all this and the presence of your fear of someone else's opinion, and on the other - everything that you wrote.

Now determine with the help of a personal indicator of truth - your heart, which outweighs.

What is better - the old life with fears and limitations? Or is it still worth the risk and follow the call of the soul?

The most effective way to deal with any fear is do what you fear.

Remember that the universe always supports those who dare, who go forward towards their goals despite fear.

Do right now, without delay, the first thing you wrote on the list, or at least a real step in this direction.

Your task at this stage is to start the energy, feel the flow, drive, faith in your own strength: But I can! Everything is under my control! You just have to wish!

And go ahead, do not look back at your yesterday's mistakes, mistakes, shortcomings, something else.

Take your destiny into your own hands and become the master of your life. Watch broadcast A will help you accept your power in its entirety.

Look at your wish list more often and put them into practice, but forget about someone else's opinion.

Why do you need approval if you have to limit your life?

Choose your dreams, not someone else's opinion!

Every person at least once in his life faced with the influence of the evil eye. With a feeling as if the vital energy had left the body, and emptiness in the soul. You don't have to be in a huge crowd to do this. Even a good friend can absorb positive energy when, after communication, there is a breakdown, depression, anxiety. It is necessary to fight with such a state in order not to comprehend a losing streak.

Biofield cleaning with water

Water is the movement of energy, time. It is she who will help remove the negative and clear the biofield. It does not matter whether it will be a shower or a bath, swimming in the pool, the sea. The most basic thing is that water washes the body.

If a person has received negative information, it is advisable to use running water. When taking a shower, it feels like all the problems of the day go away. You can not wash the whole body, but only the hands and face under the tap.

There is such a practice to help get rid of the evil eye with a wet foot massage:

1. Feet wet in the pelvis at least to the ankle.
2. Wet palms.
3. Clap your feet 50 times with your palm.
4. Wash your feet with running water and dry with a towel.

Fire energy will help

Candles are used not only for romantic evenings, but also to cleanse your biofield. It is wonderful to light a large number of candles and plunge into your thoughts, you can even meditate.

For owners of a fireplace, the good news is that it can be used instead of candles. However, we are talking only about real wood-burning fireplaces, where the fire is lit with a match. Electric ones are not suitable, because they do not carry living energy.

The advantage of fire in the fight against the forces of evil was proven by our ancestors. There is a belief that all the elements (earth, water) are able to absorb negative waves into themselves, accumulate them in their layers. Fire is not defiled by evil, it burns instantly. It is absolutely clean, it erases information from objects, events, a person.

Rock salt

Salt itself is an ingredient for rituals and magical rituals. It is able to absorb all negative influences and purify the space.

Sprinkling salt on the floor, placing a sheet of paper and holding your feet on it, it will become much easier. You can repeat the same action with the elbows and head. Used salt is poured into the toilet or taken away from home.

To enhance the effect, salt is calcined in a cast iron, saying: “As evil came, it left me. Salt will cleanse from the evil eye and save the word, take the bad with it. Amen".

Nature

Any outdoor recreation cleanses the human biofield, replenishes the spent forces. Walking through the forest, the sea coast, grace is felt.

Trees are natural healers. Being in the forest, it is good to hug the trunk, stand with your back and touch the spine. In the Druid calendar, you can find out which tree belongs to a person with a certain date of birth.

The power of thought

If a person is often angry, splashing out his indignation on others, then this is a reason to think. Maybe that's why the Universe does not favor him, returns all the evil in his life? Especially dangerous are curses spoken from the heart during a period of sincere anger.

Problems will boomerang if you do not follow your words and harm people, even in thoughts. By working on yourself, you can not only become kinder, but also cleanse your life of problems.

How to get rid of negativity? This question is quite relevant in our stressful time. Destructive emotions, negative experiences, the influence of people on our lives change our emotional state, worldview, and a destructive effect on the part of physical health begins. Treatment of some physical diseases is useless until a person restructures his own life and its emotional content. It was after noticing such a connection that a separate branch appeared - psychosomatics, which helps to deal with poor health by psychological methods. But it is better to prevent the problem and develop your own ways to get rid of the negative in the soul, until its influence has spread throughout life.

Of the methods of getting rid of negativity, affirmations, switching attention, ignoring, leaving a traumatic situation are widespread. They are popular, widely advised, and effective only in mild, non-offensive cases. In a situation of artificial and pushing experiences, we run the risk of ending up in the ward of a psycho-neurological dispensary with a severe degree of latent, into which we drove ourselves. Switching, leaving perfectly mask, but they do not solve the problem and do not eliminate the resulting negative, and if you encounter a similar situation again, the dose of unpleasant experiences will increase, since the skill of getting rid of the negative has not been mastered, the pain points remain in the dark zone.

The question arises how to get rid of negativity in life in an environmentally friendly way, when they recognize and find a way out, but at the same time do not destroy loved ones or relationships (yelling at someone is also a way to reduce your own stress, but this method is hardly environmentally friendly). The primary task will be to revise existing relationships and your own behavior in order to increase the negative. People who constantly blame, condemn, use you to splash out their own, slowly poison your daily existence, so by minimizing contact with them, you minimize the level of negativity. Your own behavior and choice of sources of information is the key to the quality of life - when you track news about maniacs and follow military events while in a peaceful region, you add to your worries and become more vulnerable to negativity that appears personally in your life.

After inventorying the sources of negativity and understanding their categories, you can begin to work - with your own emotions, with the environment, with the merging of someone else's negativity into your emotional sphere.

How to get rid of negativity inside yourself

In a situation where there is less and less strength, and the feeling of the influence of negativity on life does not leave, you should figure out how to get rid of the negative in the soul, the accumulated difficult experiences. Emotions can be different: resentment, not expressed and not forgiven, poisoning the future existence, anger, hidden by social desirability, tears, pain,. A huge number of feelings that we consider negative, we do not want to experience and yet carry in ourselves, sometimes for years.

As soon as it immerses you back into negative experiences, instead of running away from them - give them the right to be, experiencing feelings leads to their release, release of energy and the opportunity to rejoice. In addition to going to a psychotherapist or spiritual mentor, to trainings or meditation groups, there are ways that are more everyday and accessible to everyone, without the guidance of specialists, although this does not negate the fact that a person who specializes in mental problems will help you get out faster and less traumatically. But if you do not consider such an opportunity, then independent work with paper will help, which will endure everything and help pour feelings into the outside world. You can draw your own feeling (perhaps in several drawings with its transformation), the situation (and the ways of its desired resolution), actions that are not allowed in reality (the burning car of the boss, the kick of the mother-in-law), or you can write letters without embarrassment in expressions and wording (and then they can be burned if released after the first message, processed in order to convey to the addressee in an acceptable form or left for further work if there is a feeling of incomplete release).

Use your own body to get rid of negativity, since it is it that holds the lion's share of it (when you do not hit someone it remains tension in your hand, when you hold back tears - your eyes strain, you do not raise your voice - a throat spasm). All our restrained, unreleased emotions remain in the physical shell and continue to harm the body when we no longer notice it. So hit a pear and a sofa when you didn’t hit the offender, run a mile around the stadium when you were left to endure a terrible situation, scream while secluded in a park or at a concert - your task is to respond to the stopped actions in a safe situation without harming yourself and others. And with old blocks in the body, massage or body-oriented therapy will help to cope, do not be surprised if, as the muscles relax, emotions that are unjustified by the situation come flooding in - it means that trauma and pent-up tension weaken.

Recognition of emotions and your own ability to experience them makes you alive, albeit uncomfortable. Lifting the ban on getting angry (“good girls don’t scream”), getting upset (“men don’t cry”), defending yourself (“well-mannered people don’t argue”) can take many years of therapy to understand that these are not our attitudes, but the words of adults from of the distant past, which we believe in, but which we do not have to comply for the sake of their convenience. Maybe in childhood this was relevant, because without adults the child cannot survive, and is obliged to accept the rules of the game, but many continue to fulfill these meaningless attitudes all their lives.

How to get rid of negative people

In addition to their own internal negative experiences, people are influenced by external factors, incidents, people. And if how to get rid of the negativity in life brought by random events is not clear, then there are several ways to deal with the negativity brought by quite specific people.

First of all, identify those who merge their negativity into you - it may be quite obvious, and you will be surprised by this advice, but there are times when people do not perceive a person negatively, it’s just that energy disappears with him, his head starts to hurt, the level of anxiety or tension increases, and perhaps there is a feeling of danger or increased pressure. Any changes in the emotional or physical sphere in the presence of a certain person nearby are warning signs of negativity directed in your direction.

Follow the person, if he shakes out an emotional reaction from you by any means, in order to fuel himself, then try not to answer anything, smile and ask for something positive to say. Such a tactic does not allow a person to feed on you, points out his own shortcomings, but it can negatively affect you if you do it through force, when you yourself are already hooked and the emotional reaction is running. To prevent this from happening, you can try one of the visualization techniques for fencing off the negativity of others, imagining a waterfall flowing between you or a bright light surrounding and protecting you, you can reduce your opponent to tiny sizes - yours, where your rules apply, will help you choose the right image or come up with an effective one.

People who are not generating but living off your psychic energy need to be pulled away from their own emotions, but since they are not able to generate energy on their own when you try to ignore them, efforts to get your attention will intensify. This is a difficult struggle, where exactly you are not in an advantageous position, because a person is used to receiving a certain dose of reactions from you and knows your characteristics, so he will not ignore any methods, even the most painful for you. There is only one way out - and do not give up positions, pretend to be an empty barrel, incapable of reaction, such a half-zombie, uninteresting and unpromising in terms of emotional buildup.

If you have the opportunity to analyze the situation, without direct participation in it, then take a closer look at how a person who is currently bringing negativity can be useful to you. Since any feature can be used in the right perspective, your task is to discern it and direct it in a direction that is useful, and not destructive for you. Also, in order to be less likely to get negative from people, assess the situation in advance - when entering the room, slow down to assess the emotional state of those present by facial expressions, gestures, and then, already orienting yourself in the situation, you will be able to more competently build communication and, if necessary, protection.

Getting rid of someone else's negativity in your own life is not a task for a day, it requires constant attention and strict adherence to the rules, often breaking which several times, you plunge back into the swamp out of troubles that are not yours.

Take care of your own boundaries: this concerns your space where no one will disturb you, the time that you spend as you want, the disposal of your emotional and material resources. Look at your life and evaluate how much freedom you have in these manifestations, it is quite possible that somewhere kind and close people decide a lot for you, and you continue to move your line. Of course, maintaining the inviolability of boundaries requires courage, a certain share and a manifestation of strength, but the inability to observe them leads to the fact that other people outline your personal boundaries, and they outline them, as it is convenient for them, and not for you. Under such conditions, you are deprived of the opportunity to recover and feel your own needs, the ability to say no is lost when you are already sick of your friend’s complaints, when you cannot help out your eternally suffering relatives. Therefore, every second monitoring of your own boundaries and awareness of where you will move them a little for a while, and where you will not give up one iota, should be worked out to automatism.

Distance yourself from the negative competently, not leaving the situation, interrupting contact, but monitoring your reactions and the ability of the psyche to perceive information. Since, empathizing with people, we experience the same emotions as they do, but to a lesser extent, and being overloaded with our own problems and, in addition, those of others, the psyche can freeze. Just like a computer, and refusing to work further - it manifests itself in getting stuck on one paragraph, pointlessly scrolling through a tape or book, in the worst case, problems with sleep begin. All the symptoms scream about the required stop and switching attention to yourself, which can be done by describing to yourself the situation where you are, without complications (your city, what is happening in your family, what you are sitting on - describe your own reality), as well as returning bodily sensitivity (stretch your muscles, walk barefoot, eat sour - the task is to turn on and shake up bodily awareness as much as possible). Such a return to yourself allows you not to plunge into someone else's negativity.

Getting rid of the influence of someone else's negativity allows you to creatively change your day. Try to read a book instead of a social feed, instead of a movie, watch an exhibition of paintings, instead of yelling at the offender, offer him help, because happy people do not offend. Partially received someone else's negative is able to neutralize someone else's positive, and the more, the better. For such a bun, you can go to shelters and hospitals, boarding schools and volunteer organizations - there will definitely be those who need your help, and gratitude and the joy brought will cheer you up. It is not necessary to go to such places, you can help those who live nearby, or arrange a fun holiday for the guys from your own yard.

The ability to find a positive in any event or perceive it as an impetus for development is an invaluable quality that makes any negative directed in your direction useless.

Introduction

Hi all. Today I decided to write a voluminous article about dependence on someone else's opinion and how you can get rid of it. Dependence on someone else's opinion is the basis. Basically, it manifests itself in an unhealthy fear of negative assessments of others. I mentioned the word “unhealthy” not by chance, since almost all people are more or less dependent on the opinions of others. It's just that in our case, this dependence becomes so huge that it begins to poison all aspects of our lives. In my opinion, the basis of dependence on someone else's opinion is negative attitudes (), which throughout our lives have gone deeper and deeper into our subconscious. For example, in kindergarten, for some reason, you were exposed, and now you will be wary of any new team by default. That is, you subconsciously transfer your negative experience to similar situations. The irrational thought here can be formulated as follows: "I am sure that people will perceive me negatively." But in fact, this idea is not supported by anything, there is no reason to believe that people will immediately start poisoning you. Our task is to pull these thoughts out and replace them with rational ones (those that correspond to reality).

I have divided this article into 2 parts. In the first part, I will give a couple of typical situations that can get into, as well as give the most common irrational thoughts that arise during these situations. In the second part of the article we will talk about more global things. I will tell you how I managed to significantly reduce the dependence on other people's opinions by rethinking some things in my life.

Thoughts that form dependence on someone else's opinion

Let's try to imagine a few unpleasant situations that can get into. We will also compare the reaction of a sociophobe and a normal person and find negative attitudes that ordinary people do not have.

Situation #1 (Sociophobia).

Let's imagine the following situation. You saw a nice girl on the street that you really liked. In your dreams, you already imagine how cool you are spending time with her. And, finally, having gathered courage, you approach her and try to get acquainted, but she rejects you. Immediately after that, a storm of thoughts and emotions covers you. “Maybe I'm too ugly”, “I'll never find a girlfriend”, etc. In a word, you will be wildly depressed and now it is not known when you will decide again, if at all.

Situation #1 (Ordinary person).

How would an ordinary person react to this situation? Definitely, this refusal of him is unlikely to hurt him much, and he will not dwell on this unpleasant situation, since there are a lot of other girls around. But why is the reaction of a sociophobe different from the reaction of an ordinary person? As I have repeatedly repeated the case in the subconscious negative attitudes acquired throughout life. In this situation, there are several settings that trigger the mechanism of catastrophic thinking.

Everyone should love me and approve of what I do

Probably the most common negative attitude. A lot of things have been said on this topic in and I don’t want to repeat myself, but I’ll still make a brief summary.

First, the desire for everyone to like indicates that you do not have your own opinion. In this case, you need to clearly define your position in life and rethink your life values. The second part of the article should help you a little with this.

Secondly, it is impossible to please everyone even in theory. No matter how hard you try to earn the positive assessments of everyone around you, it still won’t work, because everyone has different views on what kind of person you should be.

Third, realize that people who try to please everyone are actually only annoying others with their behavior. In my experience, I noticed that it is these people who most often become. Therefore, try to follow only your needs and rely on your inner perception of the world. You can listen to someone else's opinion, but you need to treat it critically. Here's a little parable for you:

A man asked Socrates:

“Do you know what your friend told me about you?
“Wait,” Socrates stopped him, “sift first what you are going to say through three sieves.
- Three sieves?
- Before you say anything, you need to sift it three times. First through the sieve of truth. Are you sure it's true?
No, I just heard it.
So you don't know if it's true or not. Then we sift through the second sieve - the sieve of kindness. Do you want to say something nice about my friend?
- No, on the contrary.
“So,” continued Socrates, “you are going to say something bad about him, but you are not even sure that this is true. Let's try the third sieve - the sieve of benefit. Do I really need to hear what you want to say?
– No, this is not necessary.
“So,” concluded Socrates, “in what you want to say, there is neither truth, nor kindness, nor benefit. Why then speak?

It's terrible when things don't work out the way you want.

For a sociophobe, this failure with a girl will only bring a feeling of oppression. And any failures in general only demotivate and he loses all desire to correct the situation. But in fact, there is no point in killing yourself with your failures. Now I'll tell you why.

First, your failure is an opportunity to reevaluate the situation, find mistakes, correct them, and make a better attempt. Failures make a person stronger, although this only applies to those people who perceive failures as a challenge. If you are one of those who whine after every failure, then remember that even the most unthinkable problem has a solution. I have had many moments in my life when it seemed like it couldn't get any worse. But the worst thing that can happen in such situations is to lose faith that everything can be changed. Life is a very unpredictable thing, I was convinced of this myself. And in just a year or two, your life can change beyond recognition.

Below, I want to give a comment that was left on this site. The highlighted sentences just perfectly describe what I'm trying to convey to you.

I am a drug addict who has not used drugs for two years. The first year I struggled with myself, overcame physiological dependence. Now I'm trying to heal myself and look at life differently. I can’t say that I’m good at it, but periodically there is progress. The most important thing is to try! And there will definitely come a moment when there will be a glimpse, a small flash of what happened! It's the most important! Just remember it and that's it! Now you know that it is good that it can be repeated.

Secondly, you should not be upset because of failures, as you have the opportunity to fix everything. For example, I worried for a very long time that I could not. And he suffered a lot. But it's been a few years now and I've made it. Some time passed and my problems with girls were in the past. But at the same time, such moments as the first date, the first kiss, etc. remain in the past. I recall these events with trepidation and understand that they will never be repeated. People are constantly in a hurry to go to school, go to university, find a job, a girlfriend, and so on. Goals are fulfilled and life flies by very quickly. It's good, of course, to look back at the end of your life and see what you have achieved, but it's much better to look ahead and know that all this is still ahead. Your advantage is that you have it all ahead, despite all your problems that currently prevent you from realizing your plan. Just remind yourself of this. Any problem can be solved, but turning back time will not work.

Thirdly, the life of every person consists of ups and downs. Being happy all the time won't work anyway. And if it seems to you that you are so unhappy, and everything is fine with everyone, then this is far from being the case. Even the most intelligent, beautiful and successful people have their problems that you may not notice. And they are invisible to you only because you are projecting your problems onto this person. For example, you are not gifted with outstanding external data. When you meet a beautiful person, you think something like: “Damn, he is handsome, he definitely doesn’t have any problems with girls. I want to be like that too." But the bottom line is that for this handsome man, an attractive appearance has long been commonplace and he does not experience any euphoria about this.

Other irrational thoughts

Situation number 2 (Sociophobia).

Let's move on to the next situation. Again, you gathered your courage and decided to go to the club, ordered yourself a cocktail, but suddenly someone accidentally shoved you and you poured everything on yourself. You will probably blush, mumble something incoherent and think that everyone thought you were a loser.

Situation #2 (Ordinary person).

In an ordinary person, this situation can cause more anger than shame. He won't dwell on it and will soon forget about the incident, as he knows that people don't form negative opinions of him based on the situation alone. Here is the entire list of negative attitudes that a sociophobe has in this situation:

1. People will form a negative opinion of me based on this incident.

2. This incident will overshadow all the positive aspects of my personality.

3. Everyone will reject me because of this incident.

I will not describe them in detail, since I already did it in .

First, you will notice that not many people will pay attention to you. Most will just not care.

Secondly, let's imagine the worst outcome, if you get any negative reaction from others, then you will understand that it is not as scary as you imagined. Also, think logically. What do you care about a complete stranger? This is a question you need to ask yourself whenever you encounter situations like this.

And thirdly, I personally am only spurred on by situations when someone looks askance or says something negative in my direction. In this case, I conclude that the thinking of this person is one-sided, who is ready to call me a fool because of just one strange dress or something else.

Dependence on the opinions of others through the prism of life and death

And now let's move on to the second part, which will make you look at your life differently.

Even as a teenager, I was periodically visited by questions about what will happen after death. My mother is a believer, and therefore, from childhood, I was instilled with such a position that the Almighty exists and after death everyone will go to heaven or hell, depending on how you lived your life. For a long time I lived and believed that it was so. But as I got older, I began to think more critically and rationally. Religion began to seem to me a haven for those who are afraid to face the truth. By truth, I mean what really awaits us after death. Do you want to know the truth? In fact, there is nothing after death. No matter how sad it may sound, but this is the most likely option of all possible. And there is not a single sane evidence that this is not so. Death is easy to imagine, just remember any night when you didn’t dream anything or try to imagine what happened before you were born. Of course, I admit the possibility that after death there is still something, and it may turn out that there is heaven and hell, but the probability of this offhand is 0.00001%. You can remove or add a couple of zeros, as you like.

Thus, if there is nothing after death, what is our life like? And it represents a certain segment, which, as a rule, begins randomly and also ends randomly. And the length of this segment, in fact, does not depend on us. Our life can be cut short at any moment for reasons completely beyond our control. You can play sports, eat healthy food and so on, but this is not a guarantee that you will suddenly not find cancer or something else. And you can drink, smoke and live until old age. Of course, a healthy lifestyle increases your likelihood of meeting old age, but I think this probability is overestimated.

So what is the meaning of life then? The answer is again simple - it is not. More precisely, it does not exist in the understanding that we live life for the sake of some higher goal that awaits us after death. But it is there as long as we are alive, and each has a different meaning.

Now let's combine all of the above. Life ends as randomly as it begins. There are about 7 billion people on our planet and all of them will eventually die. You will die too. In 100-150 years there will be no traces of your existence left on earth. You just fade into time. Now imagine how many such people were before you? How long has our planet existed and how many people lived on it in total? There is something to think about. Feel your insignificance in this world.

Why do you think I wrote all this? Now think again about your problem. Are you worried about what others might think of you? Now you understand that this is absolutely unimportant? Any problem in this situation will seem like a trifle. I hope you can understand this a little.

Well, that's all I have for today. Good luck.

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Society requires a modern person to adhere to various norms and rules. If someone does not behave as usual, and does not fit into the framework, he is perceived as an eccentric. Not every person dares to close his eyes to what other people think and say about him. Unfortunately, for many, dependence on someone else's opinion today develops into a real phobia. Moreover, fear can be experienced both before the assessment of loved ones, and before the opinion of completely strangers. On a psychological level, people can be really scared, but is such a fear justified and can it be fought? What is the name of a phobia dependent on someone else's opinion and what are its consequences?

The main reasons for the formation of dependence

The fear of criticism dominates a person so much that he deliberately suppresses his desires, putting in the first place the expectations, opinions and judgments of other people. In this case, his whole life is subject to constant questions:

• what will the neighbors think of me;
• How will colleagues react?
• I can't do that, they won't understand me.

Fear manifests itself, it would seem, in completely ordinary things. A person does not acquire the things that he really likes, because friends advised him to pay attention to another model. He does not go to the cinema because his friends did not like the film. He is shy and afraid to express his opinion to colleagues. Such behavior causes a lot of inconvenience: because of the fear of defending one's own views, a serious psychological conflict flares up in the individual.

According to psychologists, the main reasons due to which there is a fear of someone else's opinion include the following:

• weak character;
• low self-esteem;
• lack of love in childhood;
• unpleasant experience;
• wrong stereotypes.

Such individuals have a very difficult time in life: trying to adapt to the opinions of others and meet the expectations of others, they now and then face problems in their personal and professional lives. How we were brought up by our parents, in what conditions we grew up, what moral values ​​were instilled in us in childhood - all these factors in adulthood will have a huge impact on us. It directly depends on whether we will be able to make our own decisions, defend our opinion, not be afraid of the condemnation of others, and whether we will be dependent on the opinions of strangers.

Signs of fear of public opinion

Fear of public opinion manifests itself in most cases as follows:

• before doing something important, a person begins to worry about how other people will evaluate him, and depending on this, he makes his decision, because he is very much afraid of criticism and condemnation;
• having heard at least a slight dissatisfaction in their address, these people immediately begin to be more afraid of the opinions of others, fall into depression, become oppressed, lack of initiative, feel bad;
• a person experiences a huge fear of being ridiculed, is afraid that he will be publicly criticized, experiences constant anxiety in front of other people's opinions;
• a person suffering from this phobia is afraid to express his opinion, supporting the decisions of others, even if in his heart he disagrees with them;
• these people are so eager to be good in the eyes of others that they forget about themselves, their needs and desires.

Dependence on the opinions of others is perfectly disguised asvarious positive attributes. For example, respect for others. This quality is assiduously instilled in us from early childhood. Of course, it is very important for a normal life in society, however, do not forget about your own importance. Equally valuable is such a quality as empathy. By sympathizing with other people, we learn mercy, kindness and compassion. But sometimes it happens that a person begins to use this quality to adjust to someone else's opinion, completely forgetting about his own interests and his own "I".

All these manifestations are very disturbing, since they indicate that a person suffers not only from low self-esteem and does not love himself, but also experiences a painful dependence on the opinions of others.

The impact of addiction on a person's life

Fear of public opinion greatly affects the life of any person. Succumbing to inner fears, we get a job we don’t like, get married and create families with the wrong person, give up hobbies. Deep in our souls we suffer, worry and suffer, not feeling truly free, joyful and happy. How does dependence on other people's opinions affect our lives?

1. Loss of own "I". Under the pressure of others, a person consciously abandons his inner world, building his life as others suggest, without making his own vital decisions.
2. Assessment from the side. People suffering from this phobia are constantly guided by the opinions of others, because they need constant approval of their actions. They are easily influenced by more purposeful individuals.
3. Parents are always right. For such people, the whole life will correspond to what mom and dad said. Parents will decide what to do with the child, which institute to enter, where to go to work, with whom to arrange a personal life and how to raise children. Even as an adult, such a person will coordinate all his actions with his parents, being afraid to make his own decisions.
4. Inability to defend one's views. Due to the constant pressure of elders, a child in childhood does not develop the skill to defend his own position and opinion. As an adult, he has to reap the fruits of this fear. Since he does not have his own well-formed outlook on life, someone else's opinion will always be authoritative and correct.
5. Strive to be like someone. Adhering to this principle, a person is afraid to stand out from the crowd and become a "black sheep", preferring a simpler way out - to be like everyone else.

Dependence on someone else's opinion can greatly complicate a person's life, depriving him of inner freedom and the ability to build a life in accordance with his own desires.

The fight against addiction

Fear of the opinions of others in psychology has been studied for a long time. After a series of studies, psychologists have developed special methods that will help a person get rid of this phobia once and for all.

1. Constant self-monitoring. You should carefully analyze your own thoughts and feelings. Determine what events and actions cause you anger, resentment, anger and disappointment. By learning to understand yourself, the cause of your feelings, and most importantly, your reaction to other people, a person will be able to better control his emotions without judging himself and without needing the approval of others.
2. Privacy. People who are addicted to other people's thoughts are afraid that others will turn away from them if they do not act like everyone else. To overcome this fear, experts advise learning to enjoy loneliness. Create a pleasant environment around and enjoy spending time alone with yourself, thinking, meditating, listening to your favorite music, reading books.
3. Determining your own desires. It is necessary to clearly define your life priorities, make a list of goals that you would like to achieve in the near future. It is important to truthfully answer the question to yourself: “What do I want from life?”.
4. Aggression. Do not be afraid to splash out your discontent and resentment. Feel free to defend your opinion, because you have every right to do so. If you constantly suppress your dissatisfaction with what is happening and harbor anger in your soul, then sooner or later negative feelings will not only take over you, but will also cause various physical ailments. Only by defending your views, your position in life, you will allow yourself to be real.

It is also important to realize that there are no perfect people. Everyone can make mistakes and do wrong things. Therefore, you should not build people into idols, because sooner or later they may disappoint you, and then everything that happened in your life may seem wrong and illusory.

Exercises to fight addiction

These items are easy to perform and do not require any complex manipulations from you. The main thing - do not spare time for yourself, carefully listen to your secret thoughts and desires.

1. Read a book or watch a movie. It is important that they be popular and be heard by everyone. Study the plot and write down everything that you liked, made you think and seemed superfluous, and then be sure to discuss it with your friends, without being afraid or embarrassed to express your own opinion. Remember: you should not renounce your opinion just because it may not coincide with the thoughts of your interlocutors. This exercise should be repeated until you gain confidence and feel free to express your views.
2. Make a list of life goals that you want to achieve during this period, and specific methods for achieving them.
3. In addition, learn to say the word “No” to acquaintances, colleagues, friends and family. You should not abuse it, refusing everyone in a row, but at the same time, you must be able to stand up for yourself and your interests. Don't be discouraged if you don't succeed right away. After you understand what you want from life and begin to respect your desires and aspirations, it will not be difficult for you to say this word, since the opinions of others will no longer mean so much to you.
4. Do not be afraid to make new acquaintances and constantly expand your circle of friends. By communicating with different people, you will learn to control yourself, defend your opinion and discuss. Thanks to such communication, your life will instantly change, because not only will you be interested in communicating with other people, but others will be drawn to you as a source of joy and good mood.