Leah Gerasimova is a land of unlearned lessons. In the country of unlearned lessons - Geraskina L

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On the day it all started, I was unlucky from the very morning. We had five lessons. And on each I was called. And in each subject I got a deuce. Only five deuces per day! Four deuces, probably, I got for the fact that I did not answer the way the teachers would like. But the fifth deuce was put quite unfairly.
It’s even ridiculous to say why I was slapped with this unfortunate deuce. For some kind of water cycle in nature.
I wonder how you would answer this teacher's question:
- Where does the water that evaporates from the surface of lakes, rivers, seas, oceans and puddles go?
I don’t know what you would say, but it’s clear to me that if water evaporates, then it is gone. After all, it’s not for nothing that they say about a person who suddenly disappeared somewhere: “He evaporated.” It means "he disappeared". But Zoya Filippovna, our teacher, for some reason began to find fault and ask unnecessary questions:
- Where does the water go? Or maybe she still does not disappear? Maybe you will think carefully and answer properly?
I think I gave the right answer. Zoya Filippovna, of course, did not agree with me. I noticed a long time ago that teachers rarely agree with me. They have such a negative minus.
Who wants to rush home when you carry a whole bunch of twos in your briefcase? For example, I don't feel like it. That's why I went home an hour later for a tablespoon. But no matter how slowly you go, you will still come home. It's good that dad is on a business trip. Otherwise, a conversation would immediately begin that I have no character. Dad always remembered this, as soon as I brought a deuce.
- And who are you? - Dad was surprised. - No character at all. You can not pull yourself together and study well.
“He has no will,” my mother added, and she was also surprised: “Who would it be?
My parents have a strong character and a strong will, but for some reason I don't. That's why I did not dare to immediately drag myself home with five deuces in my briefcase.
In order to play for time longer, I went to all the shops in a row along the way. In the bookstore I met Lucy Karandashkina. She is my neighbor twice: she lives in the same house with me, and sits behind me in the classroom. There is no rest from her anywhere - neither at school, nor at home. Lucy had already had lunch and ran to the store for notebooks. Seryozha Petkin was also here. He came to see if new stamps had been received. Serezha buys stamps and imagines himself to be a philatelist. And in my opinion, every fool can collect stamps like that, if he has money.

I did not want to meet with the guys, but they noticed me and immediately began to discuss my deuces. Of course, they proved that Zoya Filippovna acted fairly. And when I pinned them to the wall, it turned out that they also did not know where the evaporated water was going. I suppose Zoya would have slapped them a deuce for this - they would immediately sing something else.
We were arguing, it seems a little noisy. The saleswoman asked us to leave the store. I immediately left, but the guys stayed. The saleswoman immediately guessed which of us was better brought up. But tomorrow they will tell that I raised the noise in the store. Perhaps they will still blather that I showed them my tongue in parting. What's wrong with that, you ask? Anna Sergeevna, our school doctor, is not at all offended by this, she even asks the guys to show her their tongue. And she already knows what is good and what is bad.
When I was kicked out of the bookstore, I realized that I was very hungry. I wanted to eat more and go home - less and less.
There was only one shop left on the way. Uninteresting - economic. It smelled nasty of kerosene. He also had to leave. The seller asked me three times:
- What do you want here, boy?
Mom opened the door silently. But that didn't make me happy. I knew that she would feed me first, and then ...
It was impossible to hide the deuces. Mom said a long time ago that she reads in my eyes everything that I want to hide from her, including what is written in my diary. What's the point in lying?
I ate and tried not to look at my mother. I thought if she could read in my eyes about all five deuces at once.
Kuzya the cat jumped off the windowsill and spun at my feet. He loves me very much and caresses me not at all because he expects something tasty from me. Kuzya knows that I came from school, and not from the store, which means that I could bring nothing but bad grades.
I tried to eat as slowly as possible, but it didn’t work out because I was very hungry. Mom was sitting opposite, looking at me and terribly silent. Now, when I eat the last spoonful of compote, and it will begin ...
But the phone rang. Hooray! Aunt Paul called. In less than an hour, she won't let her mother go off the phone!
- Immediately sit down for lessons, - ordered my mother and picked up the phone.
For lessons when I'm so tired! I wanted at least an hour to relax and play in the yard with the guys. But my mother put her hand on the receiver and said that I should count the shopping trip as a vacation. That's how she can read eyes! I'm afraid that she will read about deuces.
I had to go to my room and sit down for lessons.
- Clean up on your table! - Mom shouted after her.
It's easy to say - take it away! Sometimes I just wonder when I look at my desk. How many items fit on it. There are torn textbooks and four-leaf notebooks, pens, pencils, rulers. True, they are crowded with nails, screws, wire scraps and other necessary things. I really love nails. I have them in all sizes and thicknesses. For some reason, my mom doesn't like them at all. She threw them away many times, but they return to my desk like boomerangs again. Mom is angry with me because I like nails more than textbooks. And who is to blame? Of course, not me, but the textbooks. You don't have to be so boring.
This time I got through the cleaning quickly. He pulled out a drawer and put all his things in there. Soon and convenient. And the dust is immediately erased. Now it was time to start learning. I opened the diary, and twos flashed before me. They were so noticeable because they were written in red ink. In my opinion, this is wrong. Why write a deuce in red ink? After all, all good things are also marked in red. For example, holidays and Sundays in the calendar. You look at the red number - and you rejoice: you don’t have to go to school. Five can also be written in red ink. A triple, deuce and count - only black! It's amazing how our teachers themselves can't think of this!

Lessons, as if on purpose, were given a lot. And the day was sunny, warm, and the boys were chasing a ball in the yard. I wonder who stood instead of me at the gate? Probably Sasha again: he has been aiming for my place at the gate for a long time. This is ridiculous. Everyone knows what a shoemaker he is.
Cat Kuzya settled down on the windowsill and from there, as from the podium, followed the game. Kuzka did not miss a single match, and dad and mom do not believe that he is a real fan. And in vain. He even likes to listen when I talk about football. He doesn't interrupt, he doesn't leave, he even purrs. Cats only purr when they are pleased.
I was given rules for unstressed vowels. I had to repeat them. I didn't do this, of course. It is useless to repeat what you still do not know. Then it was necessary to read about this very water cycle in nature. I remembered Zoya Filippovna and decided to do a better job of solving the problem.
There was nothing pleasant here either. Some diggers were digging some kind of trench for some unknown reason. Before I had time to write out the conditions, the loudspeaker began to speak. We could take a break and listen. But whose voice did I hear? The voice of our Zoya Filippovna! Little did I get tired of her voice at school! She gave advice on the radio to the guys how to prepare for exams, told how our best student Katya Pyaterkina does it. Since I was not going to prepare for the exams, the radio had to be turned off.
The task was very difficult and stupid. I almost began to guess how it should be solved, but ... a soccer ball flew through the window. These guys called me into the yard. I grabbed the ball and was about to climb out the window, but my mother's voice caught up with me on the windowsill.
- Vitya! You are doing homework?! she called from the kitchen. There she had something boiling and grumbling in a frying pan. Therefore, my mother could not come and give me what is due for an escape. For some reason, she really did not like it when I went out through the window, and not through the door. I would be nice if my mother came in!
I got down from the windowsill, threw the ball to the guys and told my mother that I was doing my homework.
Opened the puzzle again. Five diggers dug a trench of one hundred linear meters in four days. What would you think of for the first question? I almost began to think again, but again I was interrupted. Lyuska Karandashkina looked out the window. One of her pigtails was tied with a red ribbon, and the other was loose. And it's not just today. She's like that almost every day. Now the right pigtail is loose, then the left. It would be better if she paid more attention to her hairstyle than to other people's deuces, especially since she has enough of her own. Lucy said that the digger problem was so difficult that even her grandmother could not solve it. Happy Lucy! And I don't have any grandmother.

- Let's decide together! - suggested Lyuska and climbed into my room through the window.
I refused. Nothing good would come of it. It's better to do it yourself.
He started talking again. Five diggers dug a trench of one hundred linear meters. Linear? Why are meters called running meters? Who is chasing them?
I began to think about it and composed a tongue twister: “The driver in uniform drove with a running meter ...” Then my mother screamed again from the kitchen. I caught myself and began to shake my head vigorously in order to forget about the drover in uniform and return to the diggers. Well, what should I do with them?
- And it would be nice to call the drover Paganel. Well, what about the diggers? How to be with them? Maybe multiply them by meters?
“You don’t need to multiply,” Lucy objected, “you won’t know anything anyway.
To spite her, I still multiplied the diggers. True, I did not learn anything good about them, but now it was possible to move on to the second question. Then I decided to divide the meters into diggers.
- No need to divide, - Lucy intervened again - I already divided. Nothing works.

Of course, I did not listen to her and shared. It turned out such nonsense that I began to look for the answer in the problem book. But, as luck would have it, a page with an answer about diggers was torn out there. I had to take full responsibility. I changed everything. It turned out that the work had to be done by one and a half diggers. Why one and a half? How do I know! After all, what do I care how many diggers were digging this very trench? Who now generally digs diggers? They would have taken an excavator and immediately finished with the trench And the work would have been done sooner, and the schoolchildren would not have been fooled. Well, anyway, the problem is solved. You can already run to the guys. And I, of course, would have run, but Luska stopped me.
- And when will we learn poetry? she asked me.
- What verses?
- Like what? Forgot? A "Winter. Peasant, triumphant”? I can't remember them at all.
- This is because they are uninteresting, - I said - Those poems that the boys composed in our class are immediately remembered. Because interesting.
Lucy did not know the new poems. I read them to her as a memento:

We study all day
Laziness, laziness, laziness
Tired!
We should run and play
The ball would drive across the field
This business!

Lucy liked the poems so much that she immediately remembered them. Together we quickly defeated the "peasant". I was about to slowly crawl out the window, but Lucy again remembered - they should insert missing letters into the words. Even my teeth ached from annoyance. Who cares about doing useless work? Letters in words skip, as if on purpose, the most difficult. In my opinion, this is dishonest. No matter how much you would like to, you had to insert it.

P. friend of my harsh days,
G. my decrepit lubok.

In the Land of Lessons Unlearned Leah Geraskina

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Title: In the Land of Unlearned Lessons

About the book "In the Land of Unlearned Lessons" by Leah Geraskin

Liya Geraskina is a famous Russian writer and journalist. Her book, entitled "In the Land of Unlearned Lessons," tells the story of one boy, Vita Perestukin, who does not want to learn and is thirsty for adventure. Reading this story will especially appeal to preschoolers and children of primary school age, as it contains many funny rhymes and entertaining plot twists. In addition, "In the land of unlearned lessons" is an incredibly instructive work about how important it is to do well in school and how useful it is to acquire new knowledge.

The protagonist of the book by Leah Geraskina is a lazy and loser Vitya, who is not at all interested in school disciplines and flatly refuses to work on obtaining new knowledge. One day, his own textbooks send the boy to the so-called Land of Unlearned Lessons. There he meets with many of his school mistakes, which he had the misfortune to make during his studies. These are mathematical failures, and geographical misses, and spelling errors. At the end of his adventures, the boy comes across the Palace of Grammar, where he is exposed to the greatest danger. In the verdict passed on him, “execution cannot be pardoned,” you must correctly put a comma, otherwise the consequences will be terrible. So will Vitya cope with the task? Or does a loser like him just have no chance?

“In the Land of Unlearned Lessons” is a book primarily about what unbearable living conditions a person can get into if he does not have enough knowledge and experience to cope with various problems and overcome obstacles that from time to time encounter on the life path of each of us. . In his story, the author teaches the reader that school mistakes are harmless in principle, but neglecting them and refusing to work on correcting them can lead to the most unfortunate consequences. After all, school is only the first stage in the life of each of us. But what will happen if even this initial segment of the path a person is not able to pass with dignity and take the maximum from it? Thus, the work of Liya Geraskina “In the Land of Unlearned Lessons” is not only a fun and fabulous story that will be interesting for children to read. This, moreover, is a rather ironic, as well as a very useful and moralizing story that will not leave adults indifferent.

On our site about books lifeinbooks.net you can download for free without registration or read online the book "In the Land of Unlearned Lessons" by Leah Geraskin in epub, fb2, txt, rtf, pdf formats for iPad, iPhone, Android and Kindle. The book will give you a lot of pleasant moments and a real pleasure to read. You can buy the full version from our partner. Also, here you will find the latest news from the literary world, learn the biography of your favorite authors. For novice writers, there is a separate section with useful tips and tricks, interesting articles, thanks to which you can try your hand at writing.

Leah Geraskina

IN THE LAND OF LESSONS UNLEARNED

It’s even ridiculous to say why I was slapped with this unfortunate deuce. For some kind of water cycle in nature.

I wonder how you would answer this teacher's question:

Where does the water that evaporates from the surface of lakes, rivers, seas, oceans and puddles go?

I don’t know what you would say, but it’s clear to me that if water evaporates, then it is gone. After all, it’s not for nothing that they say about a person who suddenly disappeared somewhere: “He evaporated.” It means "he disappeared". But Zoya Filippovna, our teacher, for some reason began to find fault and ask unnecessary questions:

Where does the water go? Or maybe she still does not disappear? Maybe you will think carefully and answer properly?

I think I gave the right answer. Zoya Filippovna, of course, did not agree with me. I noticed a long time ago that teachers rarely agree with me. They have such a negative minus.

Who wants to rush home when you carry a whole bunch of twos in your briefcase? For example, I don't feel like it. That's why I went home an hour later for a tablespoon. But no matter how slowly you go, you will still come home. It's good that dad is on a business trip. Otherwise, a conversation would immediately begin that I have no character. Dad always remembered this, as soon as I brought a deuce.

And who are you? - Dad was surprised. - No character at all. You can not pull yourself together and study well.

He has no will, - my mother added and was also surprised: - Who would it be?

My parents have a strong character and a strong will, but for some reason I don't. That's why I did not dare to immediately drag myself home with five deuces in my briefcase.

In order to play for time longer, I went to all the shops in a row along the way. In the bookstore I met Lucy Karandashkina. She is my neighbor twice: she lives in the same house with me, and sits behind me in the classroom. There is no rest from her anywhere - neither at school, nor at home. Lucy had already had lunch and ran to the store for notebooks. Seryozha Petkin was also here. He came to see if new stamps had been received. Serezha buys stamps and imagines himself to be a philatelist. And in my opinion, every fool can collect stamps this way, if he has money.

We were arguing, it seems a little noisy. The saleswoman asked us to leave the store. I immediately left, but the guys stayed. The saleswoman immediately guessed which of us was better brought up. But tomorrow they will tell that I raised the noise in the store. Perhaps they will still blather that I showed them my tongue in parting. What's wrong with that, you ask? Anna Sergeevna, our school doctor, is not at all offended by this, she even asks the guys to show her their tongue. And she already knows what is good and what is bad.

When I was kicked out of the bookstore, I realized that I was very hungry. I wanted to eat more and go home - less and less.

There was only one shop left on the way. Uninteresting - economic. It smelled nasty of kerosene. He also had to leave. The seller asked me three times:

What do you want here, boy?

Mom opened the door silently. But that didn't make me happy. I knew that she would feed me first, and then ...

It was impossible to hide the deuces. Mom said a long time ago that she reads in my eyes everything that I want to hide from her, including what is written in my diary. What's the point in lying?

I ate and tried not to look at my mother. I thought if she could read in my eyes about all five deuces at once.

Kuzya the cat jumped off the windowsill and spun at my feet. He loves me very much and caresses me not at all because he expects something tasty from me. Kuzya knows that I came from school, and not from the store, which means that I could bring nothing but bad grades.

I tried to eat as slowly as possible, but it didn’t work out because I was very hungry. Mom was sitting opposite, looking at me and terribly silent. Now, when I eat the last spoonful of compote, and it will begin ...

But the phone rang. Hooray! Aunt Paul called. In less than an hour, she won't let her mother go off the phone?

Get down to your lessons immediately, - ordered my mother and picked up the phone.

For lessons when I'm so tired! I wanted at least an hour to relax and play in the yard with the guys. But my mother put her hand on the receiver and said that I should count the shopping trip as a vacation. That's how she can read eyes! I'm afraid that she will read about deuces.

I had to go to my room and sit down for lessons.

Clean up on your table! - Mom shouted after her.

It's easy to say - take it away! Sometimes I just wonder when I look at my desk. How many items fit on it. There are torn textbooks and four-leaf notebooks, pens, pencils, rulers. True, they are crowded with nails, screws, wire scraps and other necessary things. I really love nails. I have them in all sizes and thicknesses. For some reason, my mom doesn't like them at all. She threw them away many times, but they return to my desk like boomerangs again. Mom is angry with me because I like nails more than textbooks. And who is to blame? Of course, not me, but the textbooks. You don't have to be so boring.

This time I got through the cleaning quickly. He pulled out a drawer and put all his things in there. Soon and convenient. And the dust is immediately erased. Now it was time to start learning. I opened the diary, and twos flashed before me. They were so noticeable because they were written in red ink. In my opinion, this is wrong. Why write a deuce in red ink? After all, all good things are also marked in red. For example, holidays and Sundays in the calendar. You look at the red number - and you rejoice: you don’t have to go to school. Five can also be written in red ink. A triple, deuce and count - only black! It's amazing how our teachers themselves can't think of this!

Cat Kuzya settled down on the windowsill and from there, as from the podium, followed the game. Kuzka did not miss a single match, and dad and mom do not believe that he is a real fan. And in vain. He even likes to listen when I talk about football. He doesn't interrupt, he doesn't leave, he even purrs. Cats only purr when they are pleased.

I was given rules for unstressed vowels. I had to repeat them. I didn't do this, of course. It is useless to repeat what you still do not know. Then it was necessary to read about this very water cycle in nature. I remembered Zoya Filippovna and decided to do a better job of solving the problem.

There was nothing pleasant here either. Some diggers were digging some kind of trench for some unknown reason. Before I had time to write out the conditions, the loudspeaker began to speak. We could take a break and listen. But whose voice did I hear? The voice of our Zoya Filippovna! Little did I get tired of her voice at school! She gave advice on the radio to the guys how to prepare for exams, told how our best student Katya Pyaterkina does it. Since I was not going to prepare for the exams, the radio had to be turned off.

The task was very difficult and stupid. I almost began to guess how it should be solved, but ... a soccer ball flew through the window. These guys called me into the yard. I grabbed the ball and was about to climb out the window, but my mother's voice caught up with me on the windowsill.

Vitya! You are doing homework?! she called from the kitchen. There she had something boiling and grumbling in a frying pan. Therefore, my mother could not come and give me what is due for an escape. For some reason, she really did not like it when I went out through the window, and not through the door. I would be nice if my mother came in!

I got down from the windowsill, threw the ball to the guys and told my mother that I was doing my homework.

Opened the puzzle again. Five diggers dug a trench of one hundred linear meters in four days. What would you think of for the first question? I almost began to think again, but again I was interrupted. Lyuska Karandashkina looked out the window. One of her pigtails was tied with a red ribbon, and the other was loose. And it's not just today. She's like that almost every day. Now the right pigtail is loose, then the left. It would be better if she paid more attention to her hairstyle than to other people's deuces, especially since she has enough of her own. Lucy said that the digger problem was so difficult that even her grandmother could not solve it. Happy Lucy! And I don't have any grandmother.

L. Geraskina
In a land of unlearned lessons
On the day it all started, I was unlucky from the very morning. We had five lessons. And on each I was called. And in each subject I got a deuce. Only five deuces per day! Four deuces, probably, I got for the fact that I did not answer the way the teachers would like. But the fifth deuce was put completely unfairly.
It’s even ridiculous to say why I was slapped with this unfortunate deuce. For some kind of water cycle in nature.
I wonder how you would answer this teacher's question:
- Where does the water that evaporates from the surface of lakes, rivers, seas, oceans and puddles go?
I don’t know what you would say, but it’s clear to me that if water evaporates, then it is gone. After all, it is not in vain that they say about a person who suddenly disappeared somewhere: "He evaporated." It means "he disappeared". But Zoya Filippovna, our teacher, for some reason began to find fault and ask unnecessary questions:
- Where does the water go? Or maybe she still does not disappear? Maybe you will think carefully and answer properly?
I think I gave the right answer. Zoya Filippovna, of course, did not agree with me. I noticed a long time ago that teachers rarely agree with me. They have such a negative minus.
Who wants to rush home when you carry a whole bunch of twos in your briefcase? For example, I don't feel like it. That's why I went home an hour later for a tablespoon. But no matter how slowly you go, you will still come home. It's good that dad is on a business trip. Otherwise, a conversation would immediately begin that I have no character. Dad always remembered this, as soon as I brought a deuce.
- And who are you? - Dad was surprised. - No character at all. You can not pull yourself together and study well.
“He has no will,” my mother added, and she was also surprised: “Who would it be?
My parents have a strong character and a strong will, but for some reason I don't. That's why I did not dare to immediately drag myself home with five deuces in my briefcase.
In order to play for time longer, I went to all the shops in a row along the way. In the bookstore I met Lucy Karandashkina. She is my neighbor twice: she lives in the same house with me, and sits behind me in the classroom. There is no rest from her anywhere - neither at school, nor at home. Lucy had already had lunch and ran to the store for notebooks. Seryozha Petkin was also here. He came to see if new stamps had been received. Serezha buys stamps and imagines himself to be a philatelist. And in my opinion, every fool can collect stamps this way, if he has money.
I did not want to meet with the guys, but they noticed me and immediately began to discuss my deuces. Of course, they proved that Zoya Filippovna acted fairly. And when I pinned them to the wall, it turned out that they also did not know where the evaporated water was going. I suppose Zoya would have slapped them a deuce for this - they would immediately sing something else.
We were arguing, it seems a little noisy. The saleswoman asked us to leave the store. I immediately left, but the guys stayed. The saleswoman immediately guessed which of us was better brought up. But tomorrow they will tell that I raised the noise in the store. Perhaps they will still blather that I showed them my tongue in parting. What's wrong with that, you ask? Anna Sergeevna, our school doctor, is not at all offended by this, she even asks the guys to show her their tongue. And she already knows what is good and what is bad.
When I was kicked out of the bookstore, I realized that I was very hungry. I wanted to eat more and go home - less and less.
There was only one shop left on the way. Uninteresting - economic. It smelled nasty of kerosene. He also had to leave. The seller asked me three times:
- What do you want here, boy?
Mom opened the door silently. But that didn't make me happy. I knew that she would feed me first, and then...
It was impossible to hide the deuces. Mom said a long time ago that she reads in my eyes everything that I want to hide from her, including what is written in my diary. What's the point in lying?
I ate and tried not to look at my mother. I thought if she could read in my eyes about all five deuces at once.
Kuzya the cat jumped off the windowsill and spun at my feet. He loves me very much and caresses me not at all because he expects something tasty from me. Kuzya knows that I came from school, and not from the store, which means that I could bring nothing but bad grades.
I tried to eat as slowly as possible, but it didn’t work out because I was very hungry. Mom was sitting opposite, looking at me and terribly silent. Now, when I eat the last spoonful of compote, and it will begin ...
But the phone rang. Hooray! Aunt Paul called. In less than an hour, she won't let her mother go off the phone?
- Immediately sit down for lessons, - ordered my mother and picked up the phone.
For lessons when I'm so tired! I wanted at least an hour to relax and play in the yard with the guys. But my mother put her hand on the receiver and said that I should count the shopping trip as a vacation. That's how she can read eyes! I'm afraid that she will read about deuces.
I had to go to my room and sit down for lessons.
- Clean up on your table! - Mom shouted after her.
It's easy to say - take it away! Sometimes I just wonder when I look at my desk. How many items fit on it. There are torn textbooks and four-leaf notebooks, pens, pencils, rulers. True, they are crowded with nails, screws, wire scraps and other necessary things. I really love nails. I have them in all sizes and thicknesses. For some reason, my mom doesn't like them at all. She threw them away many times, but they return to my desk like boomerangs again. Mom is angry with me because I like nails more than textbooks. And who is to blame? Of course, not me, but the textbooks. You don't have to be so boring.
This time I got through the cleaning quickly. He pulled out a drawer and put all his things in there. Soon and convenient. And the dust is immediately erased. Now it was time to start learning. I opened the diary, and twos flashed before me. They were so noticeable because they were written in red ink. In my opinion, this is wrong. Why write a deuce in red ink? After all, all good things are also marked in red. For example, holidays and Sundays in the calendar. You look at the red number - and you rejoice: you don’t have to go to school. Five can also be written in red ink. A triple, deuce and count - only black! It's amazing how our teachers themselves can't think of this!
Lessons, as if on purpose, were given a lot. And the day was sunny, warm, and the boys were chasing a ball in the yard. I wonder who stood instead of me at the gate? Probably Sasha again: he has been aiming for my place at the gate for a long time. This is ridiculous. Everyone knows what a shoemaker he is.
Cat Kuzya settled down on the windowsill and from there, as from the podium, followed the game. Kuzka did not miss a single match, and dad and mom do not believe that he is a real fan. And in vain. He even likes to listen when I talk about football. He doesn't interrupt, he doesn't leave, he even purrs. Cats only purr when they are pleased.
I was given rules for unstressed vowels. I had to repeat them. I didn't do this, of course. It is useless to repeat what you still do not know. Then it was necessary to read about this very water cycle in nature. I remembered Zoya Filippovna and decided to do a better job of solving the problem.
There was nothing pleasant here either. Some diggers were digging some kind of trench for some unknown reason. Before I had time to write out the conditions, the loudspeaker began to speak. We could take a break and listen. But whose voice did I hear? The voice of our Zoya Filippovna! Little did I get tired of her voice at school! She gave advice on the radio to the guys how to prepare for exams, told how our best student Katya Pyaterkina does it. Since I was not going to prepare for the exams, the radio had to be turned off.
The task was very difficult and stupid. I almost began to guess how to solve it, but ... a soccer ball flew through the window. These guys called me into the yard. I grabbed the ball and was about to climb out the window, but my mother's voice caught up with me on the windowsill.
- Vitya! You are doing homework?! she called from the kitchen. There she had something boiling and grumbling in a frying pan. Therefore, my mother could not come and give me what is due for an escape. For some reason, she really did not like it when I went out through the window, and not through the door. I would be nice if my mother came in!
I got down from the windowsill, threw the ball to the guys and told my mother that I was doing my homework.
Opened the puzzle again. Five diggers dug a trench of one hundred linear meters in four days. What would you think of for the first question? I almost began to think again, but again I was interrupted. Lyuska Karandashkina looked out the window. One of her pigtails was tied with a red ribbon, and the other was loose. And it's not just today. She's like that almost every day. Now the right pigtail is loose, then the left. It would be better if she paid more attention to her hairstyle than to other people's deuces, especially since she has enough of her own. Lucy said that the digger problem was so difficult that even her grandmother could not solve it. Happy Lucy! And I don't have any grandmother.
- Let's decide together! - suggested Lyuska and climbed into my room through the window.
I refused. Nothing good would come of it. It's better to do it yourself.
He started talking again. Five diggers dug a trench of one hundred linear meters. Linear? Why are meters called running meters? Who is chasing them?
I began to think about it and composed a tongue twister: "The driver in uniform drove the running meter ..." Then my mother screamed again from the kitchen. I caught myself and began to shake my head vigorously in order to forget about the drover in uniform and return to the diggers. Well, what should I do with them?
- And it would be nice to call the drover Paganel. Well, what about the diggers? How to be with them? Maybe multiply them by meters?
“You don’t need to multiply,” Lucy objected, “you won’t know anything anyway.
To spite her, I still multiplied the diggers. True, I did not learn anything good about them, but now it was possible to move on to the second question. Then I decided to divide the meters into diggers.
- No need to divide, - Lucy intervened again - I already divided. Nothing works.
Of course, I did not listen to her and shared. It turned out such nonsense that I began to look for the answer in the problem book. But, as luck would have it, a page with an answer about diggers was torn out there. I had to take full responsibility. I changed everything. It turned out that the work had to be done by one and a half diggers. Why one and a half? How do I know! After all, what do I care how many diggers were digging this very trench? Who now generally digs diggers? They would have taken an excavator and immediately finished with the trench And the work would have been done sooner, and the schoolchildren would not have been fooled. Well, anyway, the problem is solved. You can already run to the guys. And I, of course, would have run, but Luska stopped me.
- And when will we learn poetry? she asked me.
- What verses?
- Like what? Forgot? And "Winter. Peasant Triumphant"? I can't remember them at all.
- This is because they are uninteresting, - I said - Those poems that the boys composed in our class are immediately remembered. Because interesting.
Lucy did not know the new poems. I read them to her as a memento:
We study all day
Laziness, laziness, laziness
Tired!
We should run and play
The ball would drive across the field
This business!
Lucy liked the poems so much that she immediately remembered them. Together, we quickly defeated the "peasant". I was about to slowly crawl out the window, but Lucy again remembered - they should insert missing letters into the words. Even my teeth ached from annoyance. Who cares about doing useless work? Letters in words skip, as if on purpose, the most difficult. In my opinion, this is dishonest. No matter how much you would like to, you had to insert it.
P .. friend of my harsh days,
G.. my decrepit lubok.
Lusya assures that Pushkin wrote this poem to his nanny. This is what her grandmother told her. Does Karandashkipa really think I'm such a simpleton? So I believe that adults have nannies. Grandma just laughed at her, that's all.
But what about this "n ... different"? We consulted and decided to insert the letter "a", when suddenly Katya and Zhenchik burst into the room. I don't know why they decided to screw up. At least I didn't invite them. It was not enough for Katya to go to the kitchen and report to my mother how many deuces I picked up today. To me and Lucy, these nerds were treated down, because they studied better than us. Katya had bulging round eyes and thick braids. She was proud of these braids as if they were given to her for her good academic performance and excellent behavior. Katya spoke slowly, in a singsong voice, did everything properly and was never in a hurry. And there is simply nothing to tell about Zhenchik. He almost did not speak by himself, but only repeated Katya's words. Zhenchik was called by his grandmother, who accompanied him to school like a little one. Therefore, we all began to call him Zhenchik. Only Katya called him Eugene. She loved doing things right.
Katya greeted her as if we had not seen each other today, and said, looking at Lucy:
- Again, your braid unraveled. It's sloppy. Comb your hair.
Lucy shook her head. She didn't like to comb her hair. She didn't like being reprimanded. Katya sighed. Zhenchik also sighed. Katya shook her head. Zhenchik shook too.
- Since you are both here, - said Katya, - we will pull you both up.
- Pull up quickly! Lucy screamed. - We don't have time. We haven't done all the lessons yet.
- And what was your answer to the problem? asked Katya, exactly like Zoya Filippovna.
“One and a half diggers,” I replied very rudely on purpose.
“Wrong,” Katya objected calmly.
- Well, let it be wrong. What do you want! - I answered and made her a terrible grimace.
Katya sighed again and shook her head again. Zhenchik, of course, too.
She needs the most! Lucy blurted out.
Katya straightened her braids and slowly said:
- Let's go, Eugene. They are still rude.
Zhenchik got angry, blushed and scolded us on his own. We were so surprised by this that we did not answer him. Katya said that they would leave immediately, and this would only make it worse for us, since we would remain ill-fitted.
“Goodbye, loafers,” Katya said affectionately.
- Farewell, loafers, - Zhenchik squeaked.
- Tailwind in the back! I barked.
- Goodbye, Pyaterkins-Chetverkins! Lucy sang in a funny voice.
It was, of course, not entirely polite. After all, they were in my house. Almost away. Politely - impolitely, but I still put them out. And Lucy ran after them.
I was left alone. It's just amazing how much you didn't want to do homework. Of course, if I had a strong will, I would take it, to spite myself, and do it. Katya must have had a strong will. It will be necessary to make peace with her and ask how she acquired it. The Pope says that every person can develop will and character if he struggles with difficulties and despises danger. Well, what should I fight? Dad says - with laziness. But is laziness a problem? But I would despise the danger with pleasure, but where can you get it?
I was very unhappy. What is misfortune? In my opinion, when a person is forced to do what he does not want at all, this is misfortune.
The boys were screaming outside the window. The sun was shining, the smell of lilacs was very strong. I was drawn to jump out the window and run to the guys. But my textbooks were on the table. They were tattered, inked, dirty, and awfully dull. But they were very strong. They kept me in a stuffy room, forced me to solve a problem about some antediluvian diggers, insert missing letters, repeat rules that no one needed, and do many other things that were completely uninteresting to me. I suddenly hated my textbooks so much that I grabbed them off the table and threw them on the floor with all my strength.
- Get lost! Tired! I shouted in a voice that was not my own.
There was such a roar as if forty thousand iron barrels had fallen from a high house onto the pavement. Kuzya rushed off the windowsill and pressed himself against my legs. It became dark, as if the sun had gone out. But it just shone. Then the room lit up with a greenish light, and I noticed some strange people. They wore hoodies made of blotched crumpled paper. One had a very familiar black spot on his chest with arms, legs and horns. Exactly the same legs-horns I added to the blot, which I planted on the cover of a geography textbook.
The little people stood silently around the table and looked angrily at me. Something had to be done immediately. So I politely asked:
- And who will you be?
- You look more attentively - maybe you will find out, - the man with the blot answered.
"He's not used to looking at us attentively, period," another little man said angrily and threatened me with his ink-smeared finger.
I got it. These were my textbooks. For some reason they came to life and came to visit me. If you heard how they reproached me!
- Under no degree of latitude and longitude, no one anywhere on the globe treats textbooks like you do! shouted Geography.
- You're throwing ink at us with an exclamation mark. You draw on our pages all sorts of nonsense with an exclamation point, - Grammar torn.
- Why did you attack me like that? Do Seryozha Petkin or Lyusya Karandashkina study better?
- Five deuces! shouted the textbooks in unison.
- But I have prepared my lessons today!
- Today you solved the problem incorrectly!
- Did not learn the zone!
- I did not understand the water cycle in nature!
Grammar boiled the most.
- Today you did not repeat unstressed vowels exclamation mark. Not knowing the native language dash shame comma misfortune comma crime exclamation mark.
I can't stand being yelled at. Especially in choir. I'm offended. And now I was very offended and answered that somehow I could live without unstressed vowels, and without the ability to solve problems, and even more so without this very cycle.
This is where my textbooks went numb. They looked at me with such horror, as if I had been rude to the principal of the school in their presence. Then they began to whisper and decided that they needed me immediately, what do you think - what? Punish? Nothing like this! Save! Freaks! From what, you ask, to save?
Geography said it would be best to send me to the Land of Lessons Unlearned. The people immediately agreed with her.
- Are there any difficulties and dangers in this country? I asked.
“As much as you like,” Geography answered.
- The whole journey consists of difficulties. It is as clear as two times two makes four,” added Arithmetic.
- Every step there threatens life with an exclamation point, Grammar tried to scare me.
It was worth thinking about. After all, there will be no father, no mother, no Zoya Filippovna!
No one will stop me every minute and shout: "Don't walk! Don't run! Don't jump! Don't peep! Don't prompt! Don't fidget on the desk!" - and a dozen different "not", which I can not stand.
Perhaps it is in this journey that I will be able to develop the will and acquire character. I will return from there with character - dad will be surprised!
“Maybe we can think of something else for him?” Geography asked.
- I do not need another! I shouted. - So be it. I will go to this dangerously difficult country of yours.
I wanted to ask them if I would be able to temper my will and acquire character there so that I could voluntarily do my homework. But he didn't ask. I was shy.
- It's decided! Geography said.
- The answer is correct. Let's not re-decide, - added Arithmetic.
“Go immediately period,” finished Grammar.
"All right," I said as politely as possible. - But just how to do it? Trains, probably, do not go to this country, planes do not fly, steamships do not sail.
- We will do so with a comma, - said Grammar, - as they always did in Russian folk tales. Let's take a ball of dots ...
But we didn't have a ball. Mom couldn't knit.
- Do you have anything spherical in the house? - Arithmetic asked, and since I did not understand what "spherical" meant, she explained: It's the same as round.
- Round?
I remembered that Aunt Polya had given me a globe on my birthday. I suggested this globe. True, it is on a stand, but it is not difficult to tear it off. For some reason, Geography was offended, waved her hands and shouted that she would not allow it. That the globe is a great visual aid! Well, and everything else that did not go to the point at all. At this time, a soccer ball flew through the window. It turns out that it is also spherical. Everyone agreed to count it as a ball.
The ball will be my guide. I must follow him and keep up. And if I lose him, I will not be able to return home and will forever remain in the Land of Unlearned Lessons.
After I was put in such a colonial dependence on the ball, this spherical one jumped off on the windowsill by itself. I climbed after him, and Kuzya followed me.
- Back! I called out to the cat, but he didn't listen.
"I'll go with you," my cat declared in a human voice.
"Now let's go, exclamation mark," said Grammar. - Repeat after me:
You fly, soccer ball,
Don't skip and don't jump
Don't get lost on the way
Fly straight to that country
Where do Viti's mistakes live,
So that he is among the events,
Full of fear and anxiety
I could help myself.
I repeated the verses, the ball fell off the windowsill, flew out of the window, and Kuzey and I flew after it. Geography waved goodbye to me and shouted:
- If you get really bad, call me for help. So I will help out!
Kuzey and I quickly took to the air, and the ball flew in front of us. I didn't look down. I was afraid that my head would spin. In order not to be very scary, I did not take my eyes off the ball. How long we flew - I do not know. I don't want to lie. The sun was shining in the sky, and Kuzey and I rushed after the ball, as if we were tied to it with a rope and he was towing us. Finally, the ball began to descend, and we landed on a forest road. The ball rolled, jumping over stumps and fallen trees. He gave us no respite. Again, I can't say how far we walked. The sun never set. Therefore, you might think that we walked only one day. But who knows if the sun sets at all in this unknown country?
It's good that Kuzya followed me! It's good that he began to talk like a man! We chatted with him all the way. I really didn't like that he talked too much about his adventures: he liked to hunt mice and hated dogs. He adored raw meat and raw fish. Therefore, most of all chatted about dogs, mice and food. Yet he was a poorly educated cat. It turned out that in football he understood absolutely nothing, but watched because he generally likes to watch everything that moves. It reminds him of hunting for mice. So, he listened to football only out of politeness.
We walked along a forest path. A high hill appeared in the distance. The ball rounded it and disappeared. We were very frightened and rushed after him. Over the hill we saw a large castle with tall gates and a stone fence. I looked closely at the fence and noticed that it consisted of huge intertwining letters.

End of free trial.

It’s even ridiculous to say why I was slapped with this unfortunate deuce. For some kind of water cycle in nature.

I wonder how you would answer this teacher's question:

- Where does the water that evaporates from the surface of lakes, rivers, seas, oceans and puddles go?

- Where does the water go? Or maybe she still does not disappear? Maybe you will think carefully and answer properly?

I think I gave the right answer. Zoya Filippovna, of course, did not agree with me. I noticed a long time ago that teachers rarely agree with me. They have such a negative minus.

- And who are you? Dad wondered. - No character at all. You can not pull yourself together and study well.

“He doesn’t have the will,” my mother added, and she was also surprised: “Who could it be?

My parents have a strong character and a strong will, but for some reason I don't. That's why I did not dare to immediately drag myself home with five deuces in my briefcase.

When I was kicked out of the bookstore, I realized that I was very hungry. I wanted to eat more and go home less and less.

There was only one shop left on the way. Uninteresting - economic. It smelled nasty of kerosene. He also had to leave. The seller asked me three times:

"What do you want here, boy?"

Mom opened the door silently. But that didn't make me happy. I knew that she would feed me first, and then ...

It was impossible to hide the deuces. Mom said a long time ago that she reads in my eyes everything that I want to hide from her, including what is written in my diary. What's the point in lying?

I ate and tried not to look at my mother. I thought if she could read in my eyes about all five deuces at once.

But the phone rang. Hooray! Aunt Paul called. She won't let her mother go off the phone before an hour later.

“Sit down immediately for lessons,” my mother ordered and picked up the phone.

I had to go to my room and sit down for lessons.

- Clear your table! Mom shouted after her.

This time I got through the cleaning quickly. He pulled out a drawer and put all his things in there. Soon and convenient. And the dust is immediately erased. Now it was time to start learning. I opened the diary, and twos flashed before me. They were so noticeable because they were written in red ink. In my opinion, this is wrong. Why write a deuce in red ink? After all, all good things are also marked in red. For example, holidays and Sundays in the calendar. You look at the red number and you rejoice: you don’t have to go to school. Five can also be written in red ink. And the three, two and stake - only black! It's amazing how our teachers themselves can't think of this!

- Vitya! You are doing homework?! she called from the kitchen. There she had something boiling and grumbling in a frying pan. Therefore, my mother could not come and give me what is due for the escape. For some reason, she really did not like it when I went out through the window, and not through the door. I would be nice if my mother came in!

I got down from the windowsill, threw the ball to the guys and told my mother that I was doing my homework.

Opened the puzzle again. Five diggers dug a trench of one hundred linear meters in four days. What would you think of for the first question? I almost began to think again, but again I was interrupted. Lyuska Karandashkina looked out the window. One pigtail was tied with a red ribbon, and the other was loose. And it's not just today. She's like that almost every day. Now the right pigtail is loose, then the left. It would be better if she paid more attention to her hairstyle than to other people's deuces, especially since she has enough of her own. Lucy said that the digger problem was so difficult that even her grandmother could not solve it. Happy Lucy! And I don't have any grandmother.

Let's decide together! Luska suggested and climbed into my room through the window.

I refused. Nothing good would come of it. It's better to do it yourself.

He started talking again. Five diggers dug a trench of one hundred linear meters. Linear? Why are meters called running meters? Who is chasing them?

I began to think about it and composed a tongue twister: “The driver in uniform drove with a linear meter ...” Then my mother screamed again from the kitchen. I caught myself and began to shake my head vigorously in order to forget about the drover in uniform and return to the diggers. Well, what should I do with them?

“And it would be nice to call the drover Paganel.” Well, what about the diggers? How to be with them? Maybe multiply them by meters?

“You don’t need to multiply,” Lucy objected, “you won’t know anything anyway.

To spite her, I still multiplied the diggers. True, I did not learn anything good about them, but now it was possible to move on to the second question. Then I decided to divide the meters into diggers.

- No need to share, - Lucy intervened again - I already divided. Nothing works.

- And when will we learn poetry? she asked me.

- What verses?

— Like what? Forgot? A "Winter. Peasant triumphant? I can't remember them at all.

- This is because they are uninteresting, - I said - Those poems that the boys composed in our class are immediately remembered. Because interesting.

Lucy did not know the new poems. I read them to her as a memento:

We study all day

Laziness, laziness, laziness

We should run and play

The ball would drive across the field -

This business!

Lucy liked the poems so much that she immediately remembered them. Together we quickly defeated the "peasant". I was about to slowly crawl out the window, but Lucy again remembered - they should insert the missing letters into the words. Even my teeth ached from annoyance. Who cares about doing useless work? Letters in words skip, as if on purpose, the most difficult. I don't think it's fair. As much as I wanted to, I had to put it in.

P .. friend of my harsh days,

G.. my decrepit lubok.

Lusya assures that Pushkin wrote this poem to his nanny. This is what her grandmother told her. Does Karandashkina think I'm such a simpleton? So I believe that adults have nannies. Grandma just laughed at her and that's it.

But what about this "n ... different"? We consulted and decided to insert the letter "a", when suddenly Katya and Zhenchik burst into the room. I don't know why they decided to screw up. At least I didn't invite them. It was not enough for Katya to go to the kitchen and report to my mother how many deuces I picked up today. To me and Lucy, these nerds were treated down, because they studied better than us. Katya had bulging round eyes and thick braids. She was proud of these braids as if they were given to her for her good academic performance and excellent behavior. Katya spoke slowly, in a singsong voice, did everything properly and was never in a hurry. And there is simply nothing to tell about Zhenchik. He almost did not speak by himself, but only repeated Katya's words. Zhenchik was called by his grandmother, who accompanied him to school like a little one. Therefore, we all began to call him Zhenchik. Only Katya called him Eugene. She loved doing things right.

Katya greeted her as if we had not seen each other today, and said, looking at Lucy:

“Your hair is untwisted again. It's sloppy. Comb your hair.

Lucy shook her head. She didn't like to comb her hair. She didn't like being reprimanded. Katya sighed. Zhenchik also sighed. Katya shook her head. Zhenchik shook too.

"Since you're both here," Katya said, "we'll pull you both up."

- Pull up quickly! Lucy screamed. “But we don’t have time. We haven't done all the lessons yet.

- And what answer did you get in the problem? asked Katya, exactly like Zoya Filippovna.

"One and a half diggers," I replied very rudely on purpose.

“Wrong,” Katya objected calmly.

- Well, let it be wrong. What do you want! I answered and made a terrible grimace at her.

Katya sighed again and shook her head again. Zhenchik, of course, too.

She needs the most! Lucy blurted out.

Katya straightened her braids and slowly said:

Let's go, Eugene. They are still rude.

Zhenchik got angry, blushed and scolded us on his own. We were so surprised by this that we did not answer him. Katya said that they would leave immediately, and this would only make it worse for us, since we would remain ill-fitted.

“Goodbye, loafers,” Katya said affectionately.

“Goodbye, loafers,” Zhenchik squeaked.

— Tailwind in the back! I barked.

- Goodbye, Pyaterkins-Chetverkins! Lucy sang in a funny voice.

It was, of course, not entirely polite. After all, they were in my house. Almost away. Politely - impolitely, but I put them out anyway. And Lucy ran after them.

I was left alone. It's just amazing how much you didn't want to do homework. Of course, if I had a strong will, I would take it, to spite myself, and do it. Katya must have had a strong will. It will be necessary to make peace with her and ask how she acquired it. The Pope says that every person can develop will and character if he struggles with difficulties and despises danger. Well, what should I fight? Dad says - with laziness. But is laziness a problem? But I would despise the danger with pleasure, but where can you get it?

I was very unhappy. What is misfortune? In my opinion, when a person is forced to do what he does not want at all, this is misfortune.

The boys were screaming outside the window. The sun was shining, the smell of lilacs was very strong. I was drawn to jump out the window and run to the guys. But my textbooks were on the table. They were tattered, inked, dirty, and awfully dull. But they were very strong. They kept me in a stuffy room, forced me to solve a problem about some antediluvian diggers, insert missing letters, repeat rules that no one needed, and do many other things that were completely uninteresting to me. I suddenly hated my textbooks so much that I grabbed them off the table and threw them on the floor with all my strength.

- Get lost! Tired! I shouted in a voice that was not my own.

There was such a roar as if forty thousand iron barrels had fallen from a high house onto the pavement. Kuzya rushed off the windowsill and pressed himself against my legs. It became dark, as if the sun had gone out. But it just shone. Then the room lit up with a greenish light, and I noticed some strange people. They wore hoodies made of blotched crumpled paper. One had a very familiar black spot on his chest with arms, legs and horns. Exactly the same legs-horns I added to the blot, which I planted on the cover of a geography textbook.

The little people stood silently around the table and looked angrily at me. Something had to be done immediately. So I politely asked:

- And who will you be?

“Look closer, maybe you’ll find out,” the little man with the blot replied.

"He's not used to looking at us attentively, period," another little man said angrily and threatened me with his ink-smeared finger.

I got it. These were my textbooks. For some reason they came to life and came to visit me. If you heard how they reproached me!

“Under no degree of latitude and longitude, no one anywhere on the globe treats textbooks like you do!” shouted Geography.

You're pouring ink on us! You draw all sorts of nonsense on our pages,” Grammar tormented.

Why did you attack me like that? Do Seryozha Petkin or Lyusya Karandashkina study better?

- Five deuces! shouted the textbooks in unison.

“But I have prepared my lessons today!”

- Today you solved the problem incorrectly!

- Did not learn the zone!

- I did not understand the water cycle in nature!

Grammar boiled the most.

- Today you did not repeat unstressed vowels! Not knowing the native language is a shame, misfortune, a crime!

I can't stand being yelled at. Especially in choir. I'm offended. And now I was very offended and answered that somehow I could live without unstressed vowels, and without the ability to solve problems, and even more so without this very cycle.

This is where my textbooks went numb. They looked at me with such horror, as if I had been rude to the principal of the school in their presence. Then they began to whisper and decided that they needed me immediately, what do you think? Punish? Nothing like this! Save! Freaks! From what, you ask, to save?

Geography said it would be best to send me to the Land of Lessons Unlearned. The people immediately agreed with her.

Are there any difficulties and dangers in this country? I asked.

“As many as you like,” Geography answered.

— The whole journey consists of difficulties. It’s as clear as two times two makes four,” Arithmetic added.

Every step there threatens life! Grammar tried to scare me.

It was worth thinking about. After all, there will be no father, no mother, no Zoya Filippovna!

No one will stop me every minute and shout: “Don't go! Do not run! Do not jump! Don't peek! Don't tell! Don't fiddle around!" - and a dozen different "not" that I can not stand.

Perhaps it is in this journey that I will be able to develop the will and acquire character. I’ll return from there with character - dad will be surprised!

“Maybe we can think of something else for him?” Geography asked.

"I don't need another!" I shouted. — So be it. I will go to this dangerously difficult country of yours.

I wanted to ask them if I would be able to temper my will and acquire character there so that I could voluntarily do my homework. But he didn't ask. I was shy.

- It's decided! Geography said.

- The answer is correct. Let's not change our minds," Arithmetic added.

"Leave immediately," Grammar finished.

"All right," I said as politely as I could. - But how to do it? Trains, probably, do not go to this country, planes do not fly, steamships do not sail.

“We will do this,” said Grammatika, “as they always did in Russian folk tales. Let's take a ball...

But we didn't have a ball. Mom couldn't knit.

Do you have anything spherical in your house? Arithmetic asked, and since I did not understand what "spherical" meant, she explained: - It's the same as round.

— Round?

I remembered that Aunt Polya had given me a globe on my birthday. I suggested this globe. True, it is on a stand, but it is not difficult to tear it off. For some reason, Geography was offended, waved her hands and shouted that she would not allow it. That the globe is a great visual aid! Well, and everything else that did not go to the point at all. At this time, a soccer ball flew through the window. It turns out that it is also spherical. Everyone agreed to count it as a ball.

The ball will be my guide. I must follow him and keep up. And if I lose him, I will not be able to return home and will forever remain in the Land of Unlearned Lessons.

After I was put in such a colonial dependence on the ball, this spherical one jumped off on the windowsill by itself. I climbed after him, and Kuzya followed me.

- Back! I called out to the cat, but he did not listen.

"I'll go with you," said my cat in a human voice.

"Now let's go," said Grammar. - Repeat after me:

You fly, soccer ball,

Don't skip and don't jump

Don't get lost on the way

Fly straight to that country

Where do Viti's mistakes live,

So that he is among the events,

Full of fear and anxiety

I could help myself.

I repeated the verses, the ball fell off the windowsill, flew out of the window, and Kuzey and I flew after it. Geography waved goodbye to me and shouted:

“If you get really bad, call me for help. So I will help out!

Kuzey and I quickly took to the air, and the ball flew in front of us. I didn't look down. I was afraid that my head would spin. In order not to be very scary, I did not take my eyes off the ball. How long we flew - I do not know. I don't want to lie. The sun was shining in the sky, and Kuzey and I rushed after the ball, as if we were tied to it with a rope and he was towing us. Finally, the ball began to descend, and we landed on a forest road. The ball rolled, jumping over stumps and fallen trees. He gave us no respite. Again, I can't say how far we walked. The sun never set. Therefore, you might think that we walked only one day. But who knows if the sun sets at all in this unknown country?

It's good that Kuzya followed me! It's good that he began to talk like a man! We chatted with him all the way. I really didn't like that he talked too much about his adventures: he liked to hunt mice and hated dogs. He adored raw meat and raw fish. Therefore, most of all chatted about dogs, mice and food. Yet he was a poorly educated cat. It turned out that in football he understood absolutely nothing, but watched because he generally likes to watch everything that moves. It reminds him of hunting mice. So, he listened to football only out of politeness.

We walked along the forest path. A high hill appeared in the distance. The ball went around him and disappeared. We were very frightened and rushed after him. Behind the hill we saw a large castle with tall gates and a stone fence. I looked closely at the fence and noticed that it consisted of huge intertwining letters.

My dad has a silver cigarette case. Two intertwined letters are carved on it - D and P. Dad explained that this is called a monogram. So this fence was a solid monogram. It even seems to me that it was not made of stone, but of some other material.

On the gates of the castle hung a padlock weighing forty kilograms. On either side of the entrance stood two strange men. One was bent over so that it looked like he was looking at his knees, and the other was straight as a stick.

The bent one held a huge pen, and the straight one held the same pencil. They stood motionless, as if lifeless. I went closer and touched the bent finger. He didn't move. Kuzya sniffed them both and said that, in his opinion, they were still alive, although they did not smell of a person. Kuzey and I named them Hook and Stick. Our ball was rushing into the goal. I approached them and wanted to try to push the lock. What if he wasn't locked up? Hook and Stick crossed pen and pencil and blocked my way.

- Who are you? asked Hook abruptly.

And Palka, as if he had been pushed under the sides, shouted at the top of his voice:

- Oh! Oh! Oh oh! Ahah!

I politely replied that I was a fourth grade student. The hook turned its head. Palka roared as if I had said something very bad. Then Kryuchok glanced at Kuzya and asked:

“And you, the one with the tail, are you also a student?”

Kuzya was embarrassed and said nothing.

"It's a cat," I explained to Hook, "it's an animal." And animals have the right not to learn.

- Name? Surname? asked Kryuchok.

“Viktor Perestukin,” I answered, as if at roll call.

If you could see what happened to the Stick!

- Oh! Oh! Alas! That! Most! Oh! Oh! Alas! he shouted non-stop for fifteen minutes in a row.

I'm pretty tired of it. The ball took us to the Land of Lessons Unlearned. Why do we have to stand at her gate and answer stupid questions? I demanded that they immediately give me the key to unlock the lock. The ball moved. I realized that I was doing the right thing.

Palka gave a huge key and shouted:

— Open! Open! Open!

I inserted the key and wanted to turn it, but no luck. The key didn't turn. It became clear that they were laughing at me.

Kryuchok asked if I could write the words "lock" and "key" correctly. If I can, the key will immediately unlock the lock. Why not be able to! Think, what a trick! It is not known where the blackboard came from and hung in front of my very nose right in the air.

— Write! Palka shouted and handed me the chalk.

I immediately wrote: "the key ..." - and stopped.

It was good for him to shout, and if I don’t know what to write next: CHIK or CHEK.

Which is correct - key or key? The same thing happened with the "lock". LOCK or LOCK? There was something to think about.

There is some kind of rule ... And what grammar rules do I know at all? I began to remember. It seems that after the hissing is not written ... But where does the hissing? They don't fit in here.

Kuzya advised to write at random. If you write wrong, then correct it. And how can you guess? It was sound advice. I was about to do so, but Palka shouted:

- It is forbidden! Ignoramus! Ignorant! Alas! Write! Straightaway! Correctly! - For some reason, he did not say anything calmly, but only shouted everything.

I sat down on the ground and began to remember. Kuzya hovered around me all the time and often touched my face with his tail. I yelled at him. Kuzya was offended.

“You sat down in vain,” said Kuzya, “you won’t remember anyway.

But I remembered. To spite him, he remembered. It was probably the only rule I knew. I didn't think it would ever be so useful to me!

- If in the genitive case of the word in the suffix a vowel drops out, then CHEK is written, and if it does not drop out, CHIK is written.

This is not difficult to verify: the nominative is a lock, the genitive is a lock. Aha! The letter is out. So right - lock. Now it is quite easy to check the "key". Nominative - key, genitive - key. The vowel remains in place. So, you need to write "Key".

Palka clapped his hands and shouted:

- Wonderful! Pretty! Amazing! Hooray!

I boldly wrote on the board in large letters: "LOCK, KEY." Then he turned the key lightly in the lock, and the gate swung open. The ball rolled forward, and Kuzey and I followed it. Stick and Hook trailed behind.

We passed through the empty rooms and found ourselves in a huge hall. Here, someone wrote the rules of grammar in large, beautiful handwriting right on the walls. Our journey started off very well. I easily remembered the rule and opened the lock! If only such difficulties are encountered all the time, there is nothing for me to do here ...

At the back of the hall, an old man with white hair and a white beard sat on a high chair. If he held a small Christmas tree in his hands, he could be mistaken for Santa Claus. The old man's white cloak was embroidered with shiny black silk. When I took a good look at this cloak, I saw that it was all embroidered with punctuation marks.

A hunched-over old woman with angry red eyes was spinning around the old man. She kept whispering something in his ear and pointing at me with her hand. We did not like the old woman right away. She reminded Kuze of grandmother Lucy Karandashkina, who often beat him with a broom for stealing sausages from her.

“I hope you will punish this ignoramus roughly, your majesty, Imperative Verb!” said the old woman.

The old man looked at me importantly.

- Stop doing that! Don't be mad, Comma! he ordered the old woman.

Turns out it was a comma! Oh, and she boiled!

“How can I not be angry, Your Majesty? After all, the boy has never put me in my place!

The old man looked at me sternly and beckoned with his finger. I went.

Comma fidgeted even more and hissed:

- Look at him. It is immediately obvious that he is illiterate.

Was it visible on my face? Or was she also able to read in the eyes, like my mother?

Tell me how you study! the Verb told me.

“Tell me it’s good,” whispered Kuzya, but I was somehow embarrassed and replied that I was studying like everyone else.

- Do you know grammar? Comma asked sarcastically.

“Tell me that you know very well,” Kuzya prompted again.

I pushed him with my foot and replied that I knew grammar as well as others. After I opened the lock with my knowledge, I had every right to answer that way. And in general, stop asking me questions about my grades. Of course, I did not listen to Cousins' stupid clues and told her that my marks were different.

- Various? hissed Comma. “Now we will check this.

I wonder how she could do this if I did not take the diary with me?

Let's get the papers! yelled the old woman in a disgusting voice.

Little men with identical round faces ran into the hall. Some had black circles embroidered on their white dresses, while others had hooks, while others had both hooks and circles. Two little men brought in some huge blue folder. When they unfolded it, I saw that it was my Russian language notebook. For some reason she was almost as tall as me.

The comma showed the first page on which I saw my dictation. Now that the notebook had grown larger, it looked even uglier. Awfully many corrections in red pencil. And how many blots! .. Probably, then I had a very bad pen. Under the dictation stood a deuce, like a big red duck.

— Deuce! - Comma announced maliciously, as if even without it it was not clear that this was a deuce, and not a five.

The verb ordered to turn the page. The people turned around. The notebook groaned plaintively and softly. On the second page, I wrote the summary. It seems that it was even worse than the dictation, because there was a stake under it.

- Flip! said the Verb.

The notebook groaned even more plaintively. It's good that nothing was written on the third page. True, I drew a face on it with a long nose and slanting eyes. Of course, there were no mistakes here, because under the face I wrote only two words: “This is Kolya.”

- Flip? asked Comma, although she saw perfectly well that there was nowhere to turn it over. There were only three pages in the notebook. The rest I tore out to make pigeons out of them.

"That's enough," ordered the old man. - How did you, boy, say that your grades are different?

- May I meow? Kuzya suddenly got out. “I beg your pardon, but my master is not to blame. Indeed, in the notebook there are not only deuces, but there is also a unit. So the marks are still different.

Comma giggled, and Palka shouted in delight:

— Ah! Oh! Dead! Ouch! Fun! Smart ass!

I was silent. It is not clear what happened to me. Ears and cheeks burned. I couldn't look the old man in the eye. So, without looking at him, I said that he knows who I am, but I do not know who they are. Kuzya supported me. In his opinion, it was an unfair game. The verb listened attentively to us, promised to show all his subjects and introduce them to them. He waved the ruler - music rang out, and little men with circles on their clothes ran into the middle of the hall. They began to dance and sing:

We are precise guys

We are called Dots.

To write correctly

Where to put us, you need to know.

We need to know our place!

Kuzya asked if I knew where they should be placed. I replied that sometimes I put it right.

The verb again waved the ruler, and the dots were replaced by little men, on whose dresses two commas were embroidered. They held hands and sang:

We are funny sisters

Inseparable Quotes.

If I open the phrase, - one sang, -

I'll close it right away, - picked up the other.

Quotes! I know them! I know and I don't like it. If you put them in, they say, don't; if you don't, they say, that's where the quotes should have been. You never guess...

After Quotes, Hook and Stick came out. Well, they were a funny couple!

Everyone knows me and my brother

We are expressive signs.

I am the most important

Interrogative!

And Palka sang very briefly:

I am the most wonderful

Exclamatory!

Interrogative and Exclamatory! Old acquaintances! They were a little better than the rest of the characters. They had to be placed less often, so they got hit less often. They were still more pleasant than that vicious hunchback Comma. But she was already standing in front of me and singing in her raspy voice:

Even though I'm just a dot with a tail

I am small in stature,

But I need grammar

And it's important for everyone to read.

All people, without a doubt,

They know about it, of course.

What's the importance

Has a comma.

Kuzi's even fur stood on end from such impudent singing. He asked me for permission to tear off the tail of the Comma and turn it into a Period. Of course, I did not allow him to misbehave. Maybe I myself wanted to say something to the old woman, but I must somehow restrain myself. Get rude, and then they won't let you out of here. And I wanted to leave them for a long time. Ever since I saw my notebook. I approached the Verb and asked him if I could leave. The old man did not even have time to open his mouth, as Comma squealed to the whole hall:

- Never! Let him first prove that he knows the spelling of unstressed vowels!

Immediately she began to come up with various examples.

Luckily for me, a huge dog ran into the hall. Kuzya, of course, hissed and jumped on my shoulder. But the dog didn't want to attack him. I bent down and stroked her red back.

Oh, you love dogs! Very well! Comma said sarcastically and clapped her hands. Immediately, a black board hung in the air in front of me again. On it was written in chalk: "From ... the tank."

I quickly figured out what was going on. He took chalk and wrote the letter "a". It turned out: "Dog."

Comma laughed. Verb furrowed his gray brows. The exclamatory groaned and groaned. The dog bared its teeth and growled at me. I was afraid of her angry face and ran. She chased after me. Kuzya hissed desperately, grabbing his claws into my jacket. I guessed that I inserted the letter incorrectly. Returned to the blackboard, erased "a" and wrote "o". The dog immediately stopped growling, licked my hand and ran out of the hall. Now I will never forget that dog is spelled with an "o".

- Maybe only this dog is spelled with an "o"? Kuzya asked. - And all the others through "a"?

“The cat is as ignorant as his master,” Comma giggled, but Kuzya objected to her that he knows dogs better than she does. From them, in his opinion, you can always expect any meanness.

While this conversation was going on, a ray of sunshine peeked through the high window. The room immediately brightened up.

— Ah! Sun! Wonderful! Pretty! the exclamatory man shouted joyfully.

“Your Majesty, the sun,” whispered Comma to the Verb. - Ask an ignoramus...

“Good,” agreed the Verb and waved his hand. On the black board, the word “dog” disappeared and the word “so..nce” appeared.

What letter is missing? asked the Questioner.

I read again: "So..nce." I don't think anything is missing here. Just a trap! And I won't fall for it! If all the letters are in place, why insert extra ones? What happened when I said it! Comma laughed like crazy. Exclamatory cried and broke his hands. The verb frowned more and more. The ray of the sun has disappeared. The hall became dark and very cold.

— Ah! Alas! Oh! Sun! I'm dying! yelled Exclamatory.

- Where is the sun? Where is warm? Where is the light? asked the Interrogative incessantly, as if wound up.

The boy has angered the sun! the Verb roared angrily.

“I’m freezing,” Kuzya cried and clung to me.

- Answer, how the word "sun" is spelled! said the Verb.

In fact, how is the word "sun" spelled? Zoya Filippovna always advised us to change the word so that all dubious and hidden letters would come out. Maybe try? And I started shouting: “Sun! Sun! Solar!" Aha! The letter "l" came out. I grabbed the chalk and quickly wrote it down. At the same moment the sun peeped into the hall again. It became light, warm and very cheerful. For the first time, I realized how much I love the sun.

- Long live the sun through the letter "l"! I sang cheerfully.

- Hooray! Sun! Light! Joy! Life! exclamatory shouted.

I turned on one leg and began to shout:

The cheerful sun

Our school greetings!

We are without the sun dear

There is simply no life.

- Shut up! roared the Verb.

I froze on one leg. The fun disappeared immediately. Even it became somehow unpleasant and scary.

“Victor Perestukin, a fourth-grade student who came to us,” the old man said sternly, “discovered a rare, ugly ignorance. He showed contempt and dislike for his native language. For this he will be severely punished. I'm leaving for sentencing. Put Perestukin in square brackets!

The verb is gone. The comma ran after him and kept saying as he went:

- No mercy! No mercy, your majesty!

The little men brought large iron brackets and placed them to my left and right.

“All this is very bad, master,” Kuzya said seriously and began to wag his tail. He always did that when he was dissatisfied with something. "Can't we get out of here?"

“That would be very nice,” I replied, “but you see that I am arrested, put in brackets and we are guarded. In addition, the ball lies motionless.

- Poor! Unhappy! exclamatory groaned. - Oh! Ouch! Alas! Alas! Alas!

Are you scared, boy? asked the Questioner.

Here are the freaks! Why should I be scared? Why should I be sorry? “There is no need to anger the strong,” said Kuzya. - One of my acquaintances, a cat named Kisa, had a habit of angering a watchdog. What kind of nasty things did she say to him! And then one day the dog broke off the chain and forever weaned her from this habit.

Good signs worried more and more. Exclamatory kept saying that I did not understand the danger that hung over me. The interrogator asked me a bunch of questions and in the end asked if I had any request.

What would you ask for? Kuzey and I consulted and decided that now is the time to have breakfast. The signs explained to me: I will get everything I want if I write my desire correctly. Of course, a board immediately jumped out and hung in front of me. In order not to be mistaken, Kuzey and I discussed this issue again. The cat could not think of anything more delicious than an amateur sausage. I prefer Poltava. But in the words "amateur" and "Poltava" you can make an abyss of errors. So I decided to just ask for sausages. But eating sausage without bread is not very tasty. And so, to begin with, I wrote on the board: "Khlep." But Kuzey and I did not see any bread.

- Where is your bread?

- Spelled wrong! the signs answered in unison.

“Not knowing how to spell such an important word!” the cat grumbled.

We'll have to eat sausage without bread. Nothing to do.

I took the chalk and wrote large: “Kalbasa”.

- Not properly! the signs screamed.

I erased and wrote: "Kalbos".

- Not properly! screamed the signs.

I erased again and wrote: "Sausage".

- Not properly! shouted the signs. I got angry and threw the chalk. They just mocked me.

“We ate both bread and sausages,” Kuzya sighed. It is not clear why boys go to school. Didn't they teach you to write at least one edible word correctly there?

One edible word I could probably spell correctly. I erased "sausage" and wrote "onion". Immediately the Dots appeared and brought peeled onions on a platter. The cat was offended and snorted. He didn't eat onions. I didn't like him either. And I wanted to eat terribly. We started eating onions. Tears flowed from my eyes.

Suddenly a gong sounded.

- Do not Cry! exclaimed. “There is still hope!

"How do you feel about Comma, boy?" asked the Questioner.

“I don’t think she’s needed at all,” I answered frankly. You can read without it. After all, when you read, you do not pay any attention to commas. But when you write and forget to put it, you will certainly get it.

Exclamatory became even more upset and began to groan in every way.

- Do you know that a comma can decide the fate of a person? asked the Questioner.

“Stop telling tales, I’m not small!”

“The owner and I have not been kittens for a long time,” Kuzya supported me.

A Comma and several Periods entered the hall, carrying a large folded piece of paper.

“This is the verdict,” Comma announced.

Dots unfolded sheet. I've read:

SENTENCE in the case of the ignorant Victor Perestukin:

EXECUTE SHOULD NOT BE PARTY.

- You can not execute! Pardon! Hooray! Pardon! exclamatory rejoiced. - You can not execute! Hooray! Wonderful! Generously! Hooray! Wonderful!

- Do you think it is impossible to execute? the Interrogative asked seriously. Apparently, he had a lot of doubts.

What are they talking about? Whom to execute? Me? What right do they have? No, no, it's some kind of mistake!

But Comma looked at me maliciously and said:

“The signs misunderstand the sentence. You must be executed, you cannot be pardoned. This is how it should be understood.

- Why punish? I shouted. - For what?

- For ignorance, laziness and ignorance of the native language.

“But it’s clearly written here: you can’t execute.

- This is unfair! We will complain, - Kuzya yelled, grabbing a comma by the tail.

— Ah! Oh! Terrible! I won't survive! exclamatory groaned.

I got scared. Well, my textbooks dealt with me! This is how the promised dangers began. They just didn’t let the man look around properly - and please, immediately pronounced a death sentence. Whether you like it or not, it's up to you. Complain to no one. Nobody will protect you here. No parents, no teachers. Of course, there are no police and courts here either. Just like in the old days. Whatever the king wanted, he did. In general, this king, His Majesty the Verb of the Imperative, should also be liquidated as a class. Manages all the grammar here!

The exclamation man was breaking his hands and all the time shouting out some kind of interjection. Little tears rolled from his eyes. Interrogative pestered the comma:

"Can't you help the unfortunate boy?"

All the same, they were nice guys, these signs!

The comma broke a little, but then she answered that I could help myself if I knew where to put the comma in the sentence.

“Let him finally understand what a comma means,” the hunchback said importantly. A comma can even save a person's life. So let Perestukin try to save himself if he wants to.

Of course I wanted it!

The comma clapped her hands, and a huge clock appeared on the wall. The hands showed five minutes to twelve.

“Five minutes to think,” the old woman squeaked. - Exactly at twelve, the comma should stand still. At twelve o'clock and one minute it will be too late.

She thrust a large pencil into my hand and said:

The clock immediately began to tap loudly and count the time: "Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock." Here they leak several times - and a minute is down. And there are only five of them.

“They will,” I rejoiced. Where should I put a comma?

— Alas! Decide youself! cried Exclamatory.

Kuzya ran up to him and began to caress.

“Tell me, tell my master where to put that damned comma,” Kuzya pleaded. - Tell me, they ask you as a person!

- Suggest? screeched Comma. - In no case! We have a hint is strictly prohibited!

And the clock was ticking. I looked at them and was stunned: they had already tapped for three minutes.

— Call Geography! yelled Kuzya. "Aren't you afraid of death?"

I was afraid of death. But ... but what about the tempering of the will? Am I supposed to despise danger, and not fear it? And if I'm afraid now, where will I find danger again later? No, it doesn't suit me at all. You can't call anyone. What am I really going to say to Geography? “Hello, dear Geography! Sorry to bother you, but, you know, I got a little carried away ... "

And the clock was ticking.

"Hurry, boy!" exclaimed. - Oh! Oh! Alas!

“Did you know that there are only two minutes left? asked the Questioner anxiously.

Kuzya purred and grabbed Comma's hem with his claws.

“You wish the boy dead,” the cat hissed angrily.

“He deserved it,” the old woman answered, tearing off the cat.

- What should I do? I inadvertently asked out loud.

- Discuss! Reason! Oh! Alas! Reason! exclamatory shouted. Tears flowed from his sad eyes.

It's a good thing to argue when... If I put a comma after the word "execute", it will be like this: "Execute, you can't pardon." So, it will work out - you can’t pardon? It is forbidden!

— Alas! Oh! Misfortune! Can't be forgiven! exclamatory sobbed. - Execute! Alas! Oh! Oh!

- Execute? Kuzya asked. - It doesn't suit us.

“Boy, can’t you see there’s only one minute left? Questioning asked through tears.

One last minute... And what will happen next? I closed my eyes and began to think quickly:

- And if you put a comma after the words "execution is impossible"? Then it will turn out: "It is impossible to execute, pardon." This is what we need! It's decided. I bet.

I went to the table and drew a big comma after the word "no" in the sentence. At that very moment the clock struck twelve.

- Hooray! Victory! Oh! Good! Wonderful! - Exclamatory jumped joyfully, and Kuzya with him.

The comma immediately improved.

“Remember that when you give your head a job, you always get things done. Do not be mad at me. Better befriend me. When you learn to put me in my place, I won't cause you any trouble.

I firmly promised her that I would learn.

Our ball moved, and Kuzey and I hurried.

- Goodbye, Vitya! punctuation marks screamed after them. - We will meet again on the pages of books, on the sheets of your notebooks!

Don't confuse me with my brother! exclamatory shouted. — I always exclaim!

"You won't forget what I always ask?" asked the Questioner.

The ball rolled out of the goal. We ran after him. I looked around and saw that everyone was waving their hands at me. Even the important Verb looked out of the castle window. I waved to them all at once with both hands and rushed to catch up with Kuzya.

For a long time the cries of the Exclamatory were still heard. Then everything was silent, and the castle disappeared behind the hill.

Kuzey and I followed the ball and discussed everything that had happened to us. I was very glad that I did not call Geography, but saved myself.

“Yes, it turned out well,” Kuzya agreed. “I remember a similar story. One of my acquaintances, a cat named Troshka, worked in the meat department of a self-service store. He never waited for the salesman to be generous and toss him a piece. Troshka served himself: he treated himself to the best piece of meat. This cat always said: "No one will take care of you like you yourself."

What a nasty habit Kuzi had - ten times a day to tell all sorts of ugly stories about some tattered cats and cats. To ennoble Kuzya, I began to tell him about the friendship between people and animals. For example, he himself, Kuzya, behaved like a true friend when I got into trouble. Now I can rely on him. The cat purred as he walked. Apparently, he likes to be praised. But then he remembered some red cat named Froska, who said: "For the sake of friendship, I will give the last mouse." It became clear to me that it would not be possible to ennoble him. Kuzya is an unyielding animal. Even Zoya Filippovna herself could not do anything with him. I decided to tell him another useful story that I heard from my dad.

I told Kuza how cats and dogs became man's friends, how man chose them among other wild animals. And what did my impudent cat answer me? The dog, in his opinion, the man chose himself - and made a terrible mistake. Well, as for the cat... everything was completely different with the cat: it was not the man who chose the cat, but, on the contrary, the cat chose the man.

I was so annoyed by the Cousins' reasoning that I fell silent for a long time. If I continued to talk to him, he, what good, would come to the point that he would declare the king of nature not a man, but a cat. No, Kuzin's upbringing had to be taken seriously. Why didn't I think about this before? Why didn't I think about anything before? The comma said that if I give my head a job, it will always work out. And, true. I thought then at the gate, remembered the rule, which I had almost forgotten, and it was very useful to me. It also helped me when I decided with a pencil in my hands where to put the comma. I probably would never fall behind in class if I thought about what I was doing. Of course, for this you need to listen to what the teacher says in the lesson, and not play tic-tac-toe. What am I, dumber than Zhenchik, or what? If I steel my will and pull myself together, it remains to be seen who will have the best marks at the end of the year.

And it would be interesting to see how Katya would have coped in my place. It's good that she didn't see me in the castle at the Verb. There would be talk... No, I'm still happy that I visited this country. First, I will now always spell the word "dog" and "sun" correctly. Secondly, I realized that the rules of grammar still need to be taught. They can come in handy just in case. And thirdly, it turned out that punctuation marks are really needed. Now, if they let me read a whole page without punctuation marks, could I read it and understand what is written there? I would read, read without taking a breath until I suffocated. What's good? Besides, I would have learned little from such a reading.

So I thought to myself. Kuze had nothing to tell about all this. I was so thoughtful that I did not immediately notice that the cat began to complain about the heat. In fact, it got very hot. To cheer up Kuzya, I sang a song, and Kuzya picked it up:

We walk merrily

We sing a song.

We hate danger!

Oh, how thirsty, but there was not a single stream anywhere. Kuzya was languishing with thirst. I myself would give a lot for a glass of soda with syrup. Even without syrup… But one could only dream of it…

We walked past the bed of a dry river. At its bottom, as in a frying pan, lay dry fish.

- Where did the water go? Kuzya asked plaintively. “Are there really no decanters, no teapots, no buckets, no taps?” Are there not all these useful and good things from which water is extracted?

I was silent. My tongue seemed to be dry and not tossing and turning.

And our ball kept rolling. He stopped only in a clearing scorched by the sun. In the middle of it stuck out a bare gnarled tree. And around the clearing, a bare forest creaked with dry black branches.

I sat down on a mound covered with yellowed leaves. Kuzya jumped on my knees. Oh, how we were thirsty! I didn't even know you could be so thirsty. All the time I seemed to see a cold stream. She pours so beautifully from the tap and sings merrily. I also remembered our crystal jug, and even drops on its crystal barrels.

I closed my eyes and, as in a dream, I saw Aunt Lyubasha: on the corner of our street she was selling sparkling water. Aunt Lyubasha was holding a glass of cold water with cherry syrup. Oh, this glass would! Let it be without syrup, even if it’s not carbonated ... Why is there a glass! Now I could drink a whole bucket.

Suddenly the mound beneath me stirred. Then it began to grow and sway strongly.

- Hold on, Kuzya! I screamed and rolled down.

“Here are the slides and those crazy ones,” grumbled Kuzya.

- I'm not a hill, I'm a camel, - we heard someone's plaintive voice.

Our "slide" stood up, brushed off the leaves, and we actually saw a camel. Kuzya immediately arched his back and asked:

"Aren't you going to eat the boy and his faithful cat?"

The camel was very offended.

"Don't you know, cat, that camels eat grass, hay, and thorns?" he asked Kuzya mockingly. “The only trouble I can do to you is to spit on you. But I'm not going to spit. I am busy. Even I, a camel, am dying of thirst.

“Please don’t die,” I asked the poor camel, but he only groaned in response.

No one can endure thirst longer than a camel. But there comes a time when even the camel stretches its legs. Many animals have already died in the forest. There are still alive, but they will die if they are not immediately rescued.

Silent groans came from the forest. I felt so sorry for the unfortunate animals that I forgot about the water a little.

“Is there anything I can do to help them?” I asked the camel.

“You can save them,” the camel replied.

"Then let's run into the woods," I said.

The camel laughed with joy, but Kuzya was not at all happy.

“Think what you say,” the cat hissed displeasedly. How can you save them? What do you care about them?

“You are an egoist, Kuzya,” I told him calmly. "I'm definitely going to save them." Here the camel will tell me what needs to be done, and I will save them. And you, Kuzya ...

I was just about to tell Kuza what I think about his trick, when something crackled violently next to me. The twisted tree straightened its dry branches and turned into a shriveled, thin old woman in a tattered dress. Dry leaves were stuck in her tangled hair.

Camel with a groan shied away. The old woman began to look at Kuzey and me. I was not at all afraid, even when she hummed in bass:

Who is screaming here, disturbing the peace?

Bad boy, who are you?

“Don’t say that you are Perestukin,” Kuzya whispered in fright. - Say that you are Serokoshkin.

“You yourself are Serokoshkin. And my last name is Perestukin, and I have nothing to be ashamed of.

As soon as the old woman heard this, she immediately changed, doubled over, put on a sweet smile, and this made her even more disgusting. And suddenly ... she began to praise me in every way. She praised, I was surprised, and the camel groaned. She said that it was I, Viktor Perestukin, who helped her turn the green, dry forest into dry logs. Everyone is struggling with the drought, only I, Viktor Perestukin, turned out to be her best friend and helper. It turns out that I, Viktor Perestukin, said the magic words at the lesson...

“So I knew,” Kuzya yelled desperately. “Probably you, master, blurted out something inappropriate.

“Your master,” groaned the camel, “broke out in class that the water that evaporates from the surface of rivers, lakes, seas and oceans disappears.

“The water cycle in nature,” I remembered. - Zoya Filippovna! Fifth two!

The old woman straightened up, put her hips on her hips and boomed:

He rightly said that forever

The hateful water will disappear

And all living things will perish without a trace.

For some reason, this scarecrow spoke only in verse. Her words made me want to drink even more. The groans were heard again from the forest. Camel came up to me and whispered in my ear:

- You can save the unfortunate ... Remember the water cycle, remember!

Easy to say - remember. Zoya Filippovna kept me at the blackboard for an hour, and even then I could not remember anything. You must remember! Kuzya was angry. We are suffering because of you. After all, it was you who said stupid words in class.

- What nonsense! I shouted angrily. What can words do?

The old woman creaked with her dry branches and again began to speak in verse:

Here's what the words did:

Grass dried up in hay

No more rain will fall

The animals stretched out their paws

The waterfalls dried up

And all the flowers withered.

This is what I need -

Kingdom of dead beauty.

No, it was unbearable! It looks like I really did something. We still have to remember the cycle. And I started muttering:

- Water evaporates from the surface of rivers, lakes, seas ...

The old woman was frightened that I would remember, and began to dance, so much so that dry branches and leaves flew in all directions. She turned like a top in front of me and shouted:

I hate water

I can't stand rain.

Dried nature

I love to death.

My head was spinning, I wanted to drink more and more, but I did not give up and remembered with all my might:

- Water evaporates, turns into steam, turns into steam and ...

The old woman ran up to me, waved her hands in front of my nose and began to hiss:

At this very moment

Oblivion will find you

Everything I knew and learned

You forgot, you forgot, you forgot...

What was I arguing with the old woman about? Why was he angry with her? I don't remember anything.

- Remember, remember! Kuzya shouted desperately, jumping on his hind legs. You spoke, you remembered...

- What did he talk about?

- About the fact that the steam turns ...

“Oh, yes, steam!” I suddenly remembered everything: “The steam cools, turns into water and falls to the ground like rain. It's raining!

Suddenly, clouds came up, and immediately large drops fell to the ground. Then they began to fall more and more often - the earth darkened.

Leaves of trees and grass turned green. The water ran merrily along the river bed. A waterfall rushed down from the top of the cliff. Joyful voices of animals and birds were heard from the forest.

I, Kuzya and a camel, soaked through, danced around the frightened Drought and shouted directly into her clumsy ears:

Rain, rain, more lei-ka!

Die, you villainous drought!

It will rain for a long time

The animals will drink a lot.

The old woman suddenly bent over, spread her arms and again turned into a dry, gnarled tree. All the trees rustled with fresh green leaves, only one tree - Drought - stood bare and dry. Not a single rain fell on him.

Animals ran out of the forest. They drank plenty of water. Hares jumped and tumbled. Foxes wagged their red tails. The squirrels jumped on the branches. The hedgehogs rolled around like balls. And the birds chirped so deafeningly that I could not understand a word of all their chatter. My cat was seized with veal delight. One might have thought that he was drunk on valerian.

- Drink! Laka! shouted Kuzya. It was my master who made the rain! It was I who helped the owner get so much water! Drink! Laka! Drink as much as you like! We treat everyone with the owner!

I don’t know how long we would have been having fun like this if there hadn’t been a terrible roar from the forest. The birds have disappeared. The animals immediately fled, as if they were not there. Only the camel remained, but it also trembled with fear.

- Save yourself! the camel shouted. - It's a polar bear. He got lost. Wanders around here and scolds Viktor Perestukin. Save yourself!

Kuzey and I quickly buried ourselves in a pile of leaves. The poor camel did not have time to escape.

A huge polar bear fell into the clearing. He moaned and fanned himself with a branch. He complained about the heat, growled and cursed. Finally he spotted a camel. Without breathing, we lay under wet leaves, we saw everything and heard everything.

- What is this? the bear roared, pointing at the camel with its paw.

- Excuse me, I'm a camel. Herbivore.

“I thought so,” said the bear in disgust. - Humpbacked cow. Why were you born such a freak?

- Sorry. I won't do it again.

"I'll forgive you if you tell me where north is."

— With great pleasure I will tell you if you explain to me what the north is. Is it round or long? Red or green? What does it smell like and what does it taste like?

The bear, instead of thanking the polite camel, attacked him with a roar. He ran with all his long legs into the forest. In a minute, both disappeared from sight.

We climbed out of a pile of leaves. The ball slowly started moving, and we trudged after it. I was very sorry that because of this rude bear we lost such a good guy as a camel. But Kuzya did not regret the camel. He still continued to brag about the fact that we "made water" with him. I didn't listen to his chatter. I thought again. So that's what the water cycle means in nature! It turns out that the water does not actually disappear, it just turns into steam, and then cools and again falls to the ground in the form of rain. And if it completely disappeared, then little by little the sun would dry everything up and we, people, and animals, and plants would dry up. Like those fish that I saw at the bottom of a dry river. That's it-t0! It turns out that Zoya Filippovna gave me a deuce for the job. The funny thing is that in the lesson she told me the same thing, and more than once. Why didn't I understand and remember? Because, probably, he listened and did not hear, looked and did not see ...

The sun was not visible, but it was still getting hot. I wanted to drink again. But, although the forest on the sides of our path was green, we did not see the river anywhere.

We were going. Everyone walked and walked. Kuzya managed to tell me a dozen stories about dogs, cats and mice. It turns out that he is closely acquainted with Lucy's cat named Topsy. It always seemed to me that Topsy was somehow lethargic and unplayful. In addition, she meowed very whiningly and disgustingly. She won't shut up until you give her something. And I don't like beggars. Kuzya told me that Topsy is also a thief. Kuzya swore that it was she who stole a large piece of pork from us last week. My mother thought of him and whipped him with a wet kitchen towel. Kuze it was not so painful as insulting. And Topsy ate the stolen pork so much that she even got sick. Lucy's grandmother took her to the vet. I'll be back, I'll open Luska's eyes to her cute kitty. I will definitely expose this Topsy.

While talking, we did not notice how we approached some wonderful city. The houses in it were round, like a circus tent, or square, or even triangular. There were no people to be seen on the streets.

Our ball rolled into the street of a strange city and froze. We approached a large cube and stopped in front of it. Two round little men in white robes and caps were selling sparkling water. On the cap, one seller had a plus, and the other had a minus.

“Tell me,” Kuzya asked timidly, “is your water real?”

“Positively real,” Plus answered. — Would you like a drink?

Kuzya licked his lips. We were very thirsty, but here's the problem - I didn't have a penny, and Kuzy even more so.

“I don’t have any money,” I confessed to the vendors.

- And we sell water not for money, but for correct answers.

Minus squinted slyly and asked:

- Seven nine?

“Seven nine… seven nine…” I muttered, “thirty-seven, I think.”

"I don't think so," Minus said. - The answer is negative.

“Give it to me for free,” Kuzya asked. - I'm a cat. And you don't have to know the multiplication table.

Both sellers took out some papers, read them, leafed through them, looked through them, and then announced to Kuze in unison that they had no order to water illiterate cats for free. Kuza had only to lick his lips.

A cyclist rolled up to the kiosk.

- More water! - shouted from, not getting off the bike. - I'm in a hurry.

- A family of seven? Minus asked and handed him a glass of sparkling rose water.

- Forty nine. - The racer answered, drank water on the go and sped away.

I asked the sellers who he was. Plus said that this is a famous racer who is engaged in checking homework in arithmetic.

I was terribly thirsty. Especially when there were vessels with cool rose water in front of my eyes. I could not resist and asked to ask another question.

— Eight nine? Minus asked and poured water into a glass. She hissed and covered with bubbles.

- Seventy six! I blurted out, hoping to hit.

"Pass," Minus said and threw out the water. It was terribly unpleasant to watch how wonderful water soaked into the ground.

Kuzya began to rub against the legs of the sellers and humbly ask them to ask his owner an easy, the easiest question that any loafer and loser could answer. I shouted at Kuzya. He paused, and the sellers looked at each other uneasily.

- Two by two? Plus asked smiling.

"Four," I replied angrily. For some reason I was very ashamed. I drank half a glass and gave the rest to Kuza.

Oh, how good the water was! Even Aunt Lyubasha never sold one. But there was so little water that I didn’t even make out what syrup it was with.

The rider reappeared on the road. He pedaled quickly and sang:

Singing, rides, rides,

There is a young racer.

On your bike

He traveled around the globe.

He flies faster than the wind

Will never get tired

Hundreds of thousands of kilometers

It swings away without difficulty.

The cyclist passed by and nodded his head. It seemed to me that he was brave in vain and assures me of his indefatigability. I just wanted to tell Kuza about this, when I noticed that the cat was very scared of something. His fur stood on end, his tail fluffed out, his back arched. Are there dogs here?

"Hide, hide me quickly!" Kuzya pleaded. - I'm afraid... I see...

I looked around but didn't see anything on the road. But Kuzya was trembling and kept saying that he saw ... legs.

- Whose legs? I was surprised.

“The fact of the matter is that it’s a draw,” answered the cat, “I’m very afraid when the legs are on their own, without a master.

Indeed, on the road came ... feet. They were big man's legs in old shoes and dirty work trousers with bulging pockets. There was a belt at the waist of the trousers, and there was nothing above.

My feet came up to me and stopped. I felt somehow uncomfortable.

“Where is everything else?” I decided to ask. - What is above the belt?

Feet stomped silently and froze.

— Excuse me, are you alive legs? I asked again.

Legs swung back and forth. They must have wanted to say yes. Kuzya growled and snorted. His legs scared him.

"Those are dangerous Legs," he hissed softly. They ran away from their master. Decent Legs never do that. Those are bad legs. This is a homeless…

The cat couldn't finish. Right Leg gave him a hefty kick. Kuzya flew off to the side with a screech.

- You see, you see? he yelled, brushing off the dust. “These are the evil Legs, get away from them!”

Kuzya wanted to go around Nogi from behind, but they contrived and kicked him. From resentment and pain, the cat screamed to the point of hoarseness. To calm him down, I took him in my arms and began to scratch his chin and forehead. He loves it very much.

A man in overalls stepped out of the triangular house. He wore exactly the same trousers and shoes as Nog had. The man came closer to Nogi and said:

Don't go far from me, comrade, you'll get lost.

I wanted to know who cut off half of this comrade's torso.

— Did the tram run over him? I asked.

“He was a digger just like me,” the man replied sadly. - And it was not the tram that ran over him, but the fourth-grade student Viktor Perestukin.

It was too much! Kuzya whispered to me:

"Wouldn't it be better for us to get out of here as soon as possible?"

I looked at the ball. He lay quietly.

“Adults are ashamed to tell a lie,” I reproached the digger. - How could Vitya Perestukin run over a man? These are fairy tales.

The digger just sighed.

“You don’t know anything, boy. This Viktor Perestukin solved the problem, and it turned out that one and a half excavators dug the trench. So only half of my friend remained ...

Then I remembered the problem about linear meters. The digger sighed heavily and asked if I had a good heart. How was I to know? Nobody talked to me about this. True, my mother sometimes claimed that I had no heart at all, but I did not believe in it. Still, something is rattling inside of me.

“I don't know,” I answered honestly.

“If you had a good heart,” said the digger sadly, “you would take pity on my poor friend and try to help him. It is only necessary to solve the problem correctly, and he will again become what he was before.

“I’ll try,” I said, “I’ll try… What if I fail?!

The digger dug in his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. The solution to the problem was written on it in my handwriting. I thought. What if nothing happens again? And if it turns out that one and a quarter of the digger dug the trench? Then only one leg would be left of his comrade? I even felt hot from such thoughts.

Then I remembered the Comma's advice. This calmed me down a bit. I will think only about the problem, I will solve slowly. I will argue, as the Exclamation Man taught me.

I looked at Plus and Minus. They winked mockingly at each other with identical round eyes. I suppose they didn’t let the greedy people get drunk! .. I showed them my tongue. They were not surprised or offended. They probably didn't understand.

- What is your opinion about the boy, brother Minus? Plus asked.

“Negative,” Minus replied. “And yours, Brother Plus?”

"Positive," Plus said sourly.

I think he lied. But after their conversation, I firmly decided to cope with the task. I started to decide. Think only about the task. He reasoned, reasoned, reasoned until the problem was solved. Well, well, I was delighted! It turned out that it took not one and a half, but two whole diggers to dig a trench.

- It turned out two diggers! I announced the solution to the problem.

And then Nogi immediately turned into a digger. It was exactly the same as the first one. Both of them bowed to me and said:

At work, in life and work

We wish you good luck.

Learn always, learn everywhere

And do things right.

Plus and Minus tore off their caps, threw them into the air and shouted cheerfully:

- Five five - twenty five! Six six - thirty-six!

- You are my savior! shouted the second digger.

- Great mathematician! his friend enthused. - If you meet Viktor Perestukin - tell him that he is a quitter, a stupid and angry boy!

- Someone who, and he will definitely pass it on, - Kuzya sneered.

I had to promise that I would. Otherwise, the diggers would never have left.

Of course, it is not good that they scolded me at the end, but nevertheless I was very pleased that I myself solved this difficult task. After all, even Lyuska's grandmother could not solve it, although she is the most capable of arithmetic of all the grandmothers in our class. Maybe I have already begun to develop character? That would be great!

Another cyclist passed by. He no longer sang or drank. It was evident that he could hardly stay in the saddle.

Kuzya suddenly arched his back and hissed.

- What happened to you? Legs again? I asked.

- Not legs, but paws, - the cat answered, - and a beast on the paws. Let's hide...

Kuzey and I rushed to a small round house with a barred window. The door was locked, and we had to hide under the porch. There, lying under the porch, I remembered that I should despise the danger, and not hide. I was about to look out, but I saw our old friend, a polar bear, on the road. I had to get out, but ... it's very scary. Even tamers are afraid of polar bears.

Our polar bear seemed even more angry than when we first met. He sighed, growled, scolded me, died of thirst, searched for the north.

We hid until he passed by the house. Kuzya began to inquire about how I could annoy the terrible beast so much. Crazy Kuzya. If only I knew it myself.

“The polar bear is an evil and merciless beast,” Kuzya frightened me. “I wonder if he eats cats?”

“Perhaps, if he eats, then only sea cats,” I said to Kuza in order to calm him down a little. But I didn't know for sure.

Actually, it's time to get out of here. There was nothing to do here. But the ball lay, and we had to wait.

From the round house, under the porch of which we were hiding, came a plaintive groan. I stepped closer.

“Please don’t get involved in any stories,” Kuzya asked me.

I knocked on the door. There was an even more piteous groan. I looked out the window and saw nothing. Then I started pounding on the door with my fist and shouting loudly:

- Hey, who's there?

"It's me," came the reply. - Innocently convicted.

— And who are you?

— I am an unfortunate tailor, I was accused of theft.

Kuzya jumped around me and demanded that I not mess with the thief. And I was interested to know what the tailor had stolen. I began to question him, but the tailor did not want to confess and assured me that he was the most honest man in the world. He claimed that he was slandered.

- Who slandered you? I asked the tailor.

“Viktor Perestukin,” the prisoner answered impudently.

Yes, what is it really? Either half of a digger, or a tailor thief ...

- It's not true, it's not true! I shouted out the window.

“No, really, really,” said the tailor. - Here, listen. As head of the sewing workshop, I received twenty-eight meters of fabric. It was necessary to find out how many suits can be sewn from it. And to my grief, this same Perestukin decides that I should sew twenty-seven suits out of twenty-eight meters, and even get one meter left. Well, how can twenty-seven suits be sewn when only one suit takes three meters?

I remembered that it was for this task that I got one of the five twos.

“Nonsense,” I said.

“Yes, it’s nonsense for you,” the tailor whimpered, “and twenty-seven suits were demanded from me on the basis of this decision. Where would I get them from? Then I was accused of theft and put in jail. “Don’t you have this task with you?” I asked.

- Of course, there is, - the tailor was delighted. “They handed it to me along with a copy of the verdict.

He handed me a piece of paper through the bars. I opened it and saw the solution of the problem written by my hand. Completely wrong decision. I first divided the units, and then the tens. That's why it's so stupid. It didn't even take much thought to correct the decision. I told the tailor that he only had to make nine suits.

At that moment, the door itself swung open and a man ran out of it. Large scissors dangled from his belt, and a centimeter hung around his neck. The man hugged me, jumped up on one leg and shouted:

— Glory to the great mathematician! Glory to the great little unknown mathematician! Shame on Viktor Perestukin!

Then he jumped again and ran away. His scissors tinkled, and the centimeter fluttered in the wind.

A barely alive cyclist left the road. He was choking, and then he suddenly fell off the bike! I rushed to pick it up, but there was nothing I could do. He wheezed and rolled his eyes. “I’m dying, I’m dying on duty,” the cyclist whispered. I can't carry out this terrible decision. Ah, boy, tell the schoolchildren that the death of a cheerful racer is on the conscience of Viktor Perestukin. Let them avenge me...

- Not true! I protested. “I have never killed you. I don't even know you!

“Ah… So you are Perestukin?” - said the rider and got up. “Come on, loafer, solve the problem correctly, otherwise you will have to go bad.”

He thrust a piece of paper into my hands. While I was reading the condition of the problem, the racer grumbled:

- Decide, decide! You will learn from me how to subtract meters from people. I have you chasing cyclists at a hundred kilometers per hour.

Of course, at first I tried to solve the problem. I tried my best, but so far nothing worked. In all honesty, I really did not like that the rider treated me so rudely. Being asked to help is one thing, but being forced is another. And in general, try to think for yourself when next to you they stamp their feet in anger and scold you to the fullest. The driver with his vicious chatter prevented me from thinking. I didn't even want to talk about it. Of course, I had to pull myself together, but apparently I had not yet developed enough will for this.

I ended up throwing the paper down and saying:

- The task does not work.

- Oh, it's not coming out? growled the rider. “Then sit down where you sent the tailor out!” You sit there and think until you decide.

I didn't want to go to jail. I started to run. The rider ran after me. Kuzya jumped onto the roof of the prison and from there slandered the racer in every possible way. He compared him to all the ferocious dogs he had ever met in his life. Of course, the racer would have caught up with me if not for the cat. Right from the roof, Kuzya threw himself at his feet. The rider fell. I didn't wait for him to get up, jumped on his bike and rode down the road.

Racer and Kuzya disappeared from sight. I rode a little more and got off the bike. We had to wait for Kuzya and find the ball. In the confusion, I forgot to look where he was. I threw the bicycle into the bushes, and turned into the forest myself, sat down under a tree to rest. When it gets dark, I decided, I'll go look for my cat. It was warm and quiet. Leaning against a tree, I quietly fell asleep. When I opened my eyes, I saw that an old woman was standing next to me, leaning on a stick. She was wearing a blue short skirt and a white blouse. Her gray pigtails were adorned with puffy bows of white nylon ribbons. All our girls wore such ribbons. But most of all I was surprised that a red pioneer tie dangled from her wrinkled neck.

- Grandma, why are you wearing a pioneer tie? I asked.

- From the fourth.

- And I'm from the fourth ... Oh, how my legs hurt! I have traveled many thousands of kilometers. Today I finally have to meet my brother. He walks towards me.

"Why are you walking so long?"

Oh, it's a long and sad story! The old woman sighed and sat down next to me. — One boy solved the problem. From two villages, the distance between which is twelve kilometers, brother and sister came out towards each other ...

I just got an ache in my stomach. I immediately realized that there was nothing good to expect from her story. And the old woman continued:

The boy decided that they would meet in sixty years. We submitted to this stupid, evil, wrong decision. And so everything goes, let's go ... We are exhausted, we are old ...

Probably, she would have complained for a long time and talked about her journey, but suddenly an old man came out from behind the bushes. He was wearing shorts, a white blouse and a red tie.

“Hello, sister,” mumbled the old pioneer.

The old woman kissed the old man. They looked at each other and wept bitterly. I felt very sorry for them. I took a problem from an old woman and wanted to solve it again. But she just sighed and shook her head. She said that only Viktor Perestukin should solve this problem. I had to admit that Perestukin was me. I wish I didn't!

“Now you will come with us,” the old man said sternly.

“I can’t, my mother doesn’t allow me,” I fought back.

“Did Mom let us leave home without permission for sixty years?”

So that the old pioneers would not interfere with me, I climbed a tree and began to decide there. The task was trifling, not that about the racer. I dealt with it quickly.

You were supposed to meet in two hours! I shouted from above.

The old people immediately turned into pioneers, and they were very happy. I got down from the tree and had fun with them. We joined hands, danced and sang:

We are no longer gray

We are young guys.

We are no longer old

We are students again.

We have completed the task.

No more walking!

We are free. This means -

You can sing and dance!

My brother and sister waved goodbye to me and ran away.

I was left alone again and began to think about Kuza. Where is my poor cat? I remembered his funny advice, silly cat stories, and I was getting sadder ... All alone in this strange country! It was necessary to find Kuzya as soon as possible.

Plus, I lost the ball. This tormented me. What if I can never go home? What awaits me? because every minute something terrible can happen here. Why don't I call Geography?

I walked and counted very slowly. The forest was getting thicker. I wanted to see my cat so much that I could not resist and shouted loudly:

And suddenly, from somewhere, came a booming meow. I was very happy and began to loudly call the cat.

- Where are you? I can not see you.

“I don’t see anything myself,” Kuzya complained. - Look up.

I raised my head and began to carefully examine the branches. They rocked and made noise. Kuzi was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly I noticed a gray bag among the foliage. Something stirred in him. I immediately climbed up the tree, got to the bag and untied it. Groaning and snorting, a disheveled Kuzya fell out of there. We were very happy with each other. They were so happy that they nearly fell off the tree. Then, when we got off it, Kuzya told how the racer caught him, put him in a bag and hung him on a tree. The driver is very angry with me. He looks for his bike everywhere. If the racer catches us, he will certainly put us in jail for an unsolved problem and bike theft.

We started to get out of the forest. We went to a small clearing where a beautiful tall tree grew. Rolls, baits, bagels and pretzels hung on its branches.

Breadfruit! When I said in class that buns and bagels grow on a breadfruit tree, everyone laughed at me. And what would the guys say now, seeing this tree?

Kuzya found another tree on which forks, knives, and spoons grew. Iron Tree! And I talked about him. Then everyone laughed too.

Kuza liked the breadfruit more than the iron one. He sniffed the browned bun. He really wanted to eat her, but he did not dare.

“Eat it and turn into a dog,” Kuzya grumbled. “In a strange country, one must beware of everything.

And I tore off the bun and ate it. It was warm, tasty, with raisins. When we refreshed ourselves, Kuzya began to look for a sausage tree. But such trees did not grow here. While we were eating bread and chatting, a large horned cow came out of the forest and stared at us. Finally we saw a kind pet. Not a ferocious bear, not even a camel, but a sweet village Burenka.

- Hello, dear cow!

“Hello,” the cow said indifferently and came closer. She looked at us carefully. Kuzya asked why she liked us so much.

The cow, instead of answering, came even closer and bent her horns. Kuzey and I looked at each other.

What are you going to do, cow? Kuzya asked.

- Nothing special. I'll just eat you.

- Yes, you're crazy! Kuzya was surprised. — Cows don't eat cats. They eat grass. Everyone knows this! “Not all,” said the cow. - Viktor Perestukin, for example, does not know. He said in class that a cow is a carnivore. That's why I started eating other animals. I've already eaten almost all of them. Today I will eat a cat, and tomorrow a boy. You can, of course, eat both at once, but in this situation you have to be economical.

Never have I seen such a nasty cow. I argued to her that she should eat hay and grass. And she does not dare to eat a person. The cow wagged its tail lazily and repeated its own:

"I'll eat both of you anyway." I'll start with the cat.

We were arguing so passionately with the cow that we did not notice how a polar bear appeared near us. It was too late to run.

- Who are they? the bear barked.

“The owner and I are traveling,” Kuzya squeaked in fright.

The cow intervened in our conversation. She said that Kuzey and I were her prey and she would not give us up to the bear. At best, since she does not want to enter into conflict, the bear can eat the boy, and the cat is out of the question. She was determined to eat it herself. Apparently, she thought that the cat tasted better than the boy. Nothing to say, cute pet!

Before the bear had time to answer the cow, a noise was heard from above. Leaves and broken branches rained down on us. A huge and strange bird perched on a thick bough. She had long hind legs, short front legs, a thick tail and a pretty muzzle without any beak. Two clumsy wings stuck out behind her. Birds flocked around her and screamed in alarm. Probably, they also saw such a bird for the first time.

— What is this freak? the bear asked impolitely.

And the cow asked if it was possible to eat it. Bloodthirsty creature! I wanted to throw a stone at her.

- Is it a bird? Kuzya asked in surprise.

“There are no such big birds,” I answered.

- Hey, in the tree! the bear roared. - Who are you?

- You're lying! the bear got angry. Kangaroos don't fly. You are an animal, not a bird.

The cow also confirmed that the kangaroo is not a bird. And then she added:

- Such a carcass perched on a tree and makes a nightingale out of itself. Get down, impostor! I will eat you.

Kangaroo said that before she really was a beast, until one kind wizard in the lesson declared her a bird. After that, her wings grew and she began to fly. Flying is fun and enjoyable!

The envious cow was angered by the words of the kangaroo.

Why are we listening to her? she asked the bear. Let's eat it better.

Then I grabbed a hefty fir cone and hit the cow right in the nose.

"How bloodthirsty you are!" I reproached the cow.

- Nothing to do about. It's all because I'm a carnivore.

I liked the funny kangaroo. Only she alone did not scold me and did not demand anything.

“Listen, kangaroo! the bear roared. “Have you really become a bird?”

Kunguru swore that she had told the truth. Now she even learns to sing. And then she began in a funny voice:

Such happiness to dream

We can only in a dream:

Suddenly became a bird.

I enjoy flying!

I was a kangaroo

I'll die like a bird!

- Disgrace! the bear was outraged. - Everything turned upside down. Cows eat cats. Animals fly like birds. Polar bears are losing their native north. Where is it seen?

The cow mooed indignantly. This arrangement was not to her liking. Only the kangaroo was happy with everything. She said that she was even grateful for such a transformation to the kind Victor Perestukin.

— Perestukin? the bear asked menacingly. "I hate this boy!" Actually, I don't like boys!

And the bear rushed at me. I quickly climbed the iron tree. Kuzya rushed after me. The kangaroo screamed that it was shameful and ignoble to pursue a defenseless human cub. But the bear with its paws, and the cow with its horns began to shake the tree. Kangaroo could not see such injustice, flapped her wings and flew away.

"Don't try to sneak away, cat," mooed the cow from below. “I even learned to catch mice, and they are harder to catch than a cat.

The iron tree swayed more and more. Kuzey and I threw knives, forks, and spoons at the bear and the cow.

- Get down! the animals yelled.

It was clear that we could not hold out for long. Kuzya begged me to urgently call Geography. To be honest, I've already wanted to do it myself. You should have seen the bared, greedy muzzle of a cow! She didn't look at all like that beautiful cow that is painted on creamy chocolate. And the bear was even scarier.

- Call Geography soon! yelled Kuzya. I'm afraid of them, I'm afraid!

Kuzya convulsively clung to the branches. Am I really as much of a coward as a cat?

"No, we're still holding on!" I shouted to Kuze, but I was mistaken.

The iron tree swayed, gnashed, and iron fruits fell from it like a hail, and Kuzey and I fell with them.

"Whoa," the bear growled. "Now I'll deal with you!"

The cow demanded to follow the rules of hunting. She yields the boy to the bear, and the cat belongs to her.

The last time I decided to try to persuade the cow:

“Listen, little cow, you still have to eat grass, not cats.

- Can not do anything. I am a carnivore.

“Yes, you are not a carnivore at all,” I argued in despair. “You… you… artiodactyl.”

- So what? .. I can be artiodactyl and carnivorous.

- No, no! .. You are hay-eating ... fruit-eating ...

- Stop talking nonsense! the bear interrupted me. “Better remember where north is.

“Wait a minute,” I asked the bear. “You, cow, are a herbivore!” Herbivore!

As soon as I said this, the cow mooed plaintively and immediately began to greedily pluck the grass.

Finally some juicy weed! she rejoiced. — I'm so tired of gophers and mice. They make my stomach hurt. I'm still a cow, I love hay and grass.

The bear was very surprised. He asked the cow: what will happen to the cat now? Will the cow eat it or not?

The cow is offended. She's not crazy enough to eat cats yet. Cows never do this. They eat grass. Even children know this.

While the cow and the bear were arguing, I decided to apply one military trick. I will deceive the bear: I will tell him that I know where the north is, and then, together with Kuzey, I will sneak along the road.

The bear waved his paw at the cow and again demanded that I show him the north. For the sake of appearance, I broke down a little, and then I promised to show ...

And suddenly I saw our ball! He himself rolled to me, he found us! It was very helpful.

The three of us - me, Kuzya and the bear - went after the ball. The nasty cow didn't even say goodbye to us. She missed the grass so much that she could not tear herself away from it.

It was no longer as fun and pleasant for us to go as before. Next to me, a bear was puffing and grumbling, and I still had to figure out a way to get rid of it. This turned out to be a difficult task, because he did not believe me at all and did not take his eyes off me.

Oh, I wish I knew where the north is! And my dad gave me a compass, and they explained it a hundred times in the lessons, but no, I didn’t listen, I didn’t learn, I didn’t understand.

We all walked and walked, but I still couldn't think of anything. Kuzya quietly grumbled that my military trick had failed and that I had to escape from the bear without any trick.

Finally, the bear announced that if I did not show him the north, then when we got to that tree, he would tear me apart. I lied to him that from that tree to the north is very close. What else was there for me to do?

We all walked and walked, but we could not reach the tree in any way. And when they finally got there, I said that I was not talking about this tree, but he was talking about that! The bear realized that he was being deceived. He bared his teeth and prepared to jump. And at that most terrible moment, a car suddenly jumped out of the forest right at us. The frightened bear roared and pulled off such a hundred-meter race, which was probably not seen at any other Olympics. A moment - and Mishka caught a trace.

The car stopped abruptly. Two people were sitting in it, dressed exactly as I once saw in the opera Boris Godunov, which was broadcast on TV. The one who was turning the steering wheel had a falcon on his shoulder in a cap pulled down over his eyes, while the other had a similar falcon clawing its claws into a long leather mitten. Both were bearded, only one was black and the other was red. In the back seat of the car were two brooms decorated with… dog heads. We all looked at each other in amazement and were silent.

Kuzya woke up first. With a desperate squeal, he rushed to run and rocketed up to the top of a tall pine tree. The bearded men got out of the car and approached me.

— Who is that? asked the black-bearded man.

“I am a boy,” I replied.

— Whose person are you? asked the red-bearded man.

“I tell you, I am a boy, not a man.

The black-bearded looked at me from all sides, then felt my knitted T-shirt, shook his head in surprise and exchanged glances with the red-bearded.

- Some kind of wonderful, - he said with a sigh, - and a shirt like ... overseas ... So whose are you, boy, will you be?

- I told you in Russian: I am a boy, a student.

“Come with us,” the red-beard ordered. We'll show you to the king himself. Looks like you're one of the blessed, and he loves the blessed.

No, these bearded men are eccentrics! They dug up some other king, they say about some blessed ones. I knew only one of the blessed - St. Basil's Cathedral. This was the name of the builder of the temple. But why am I here?

- You didn't read the story? I asked the bearded men. “Which king are you going to show me to?” The kings are long gone. The last Russian tsar was liquidated back in the seventeenth year ... as a class, - I added, so that it would be clearer to them, these ignoramuses.

The bearded men obviously did not like my performance. They frowned and moved even closer.

- Do you speak thieves' words? the black-bearded man advanced menacingly. - Spin his hands!

The redhead quickly untied his sash, pulled my hands behind my back and threw me into the car. Before I could even utter a word, she roared and took off. Through the dust flashed the head of Kuzi, who ran after him and screamed something desperately. I heard only one word:

"Geography!"

All clear. Kuzya asked me to call Geography, but I thought that our affairs were not so bad. You can still delay.

The bearded men were probably taking me along a very bad road. The car tossed, shook and shook. Of course, it was not asphalt.

There was a bell ringing. I raised my head and saw St. Basil's Cathedral. They immediately hit me in the ear, and I dived to the bottom. The car drove up to a large old house. I was led for a long time up steep narrow stairs. Then they untied my hands and pushed me into a large room with a vaulted ceiling. Wide oak benches stood along the walls instead of chairs. In the middle of the room was a large table covered with a heavy red tablecloth. On it, except for the phone, there was nothing.

At the table sat a fat and also bearded man. He snored loudly and whistling. But my bearded men did not dare to wake him up. So we stood in silence until the phone rang. The fat man woke up and barked into the receiver in a bass voice:

- The guardsman on duty is listening ... There is no king ... Where, where ... I went to the facilities. He exterminates the boyars, and distributes the land to the guardsmen ... He is not late, but delayed ... Just think - a meeting! .. Wait, not great bars ... That's it! Deal!

And the guard on duty hung up. He stretched and yawned so that he dislocated his jaw. The red-beard ran up to him and quickly set his jaw in place. The attendant immediately fell asleep, and only a new call made him open his eyes.

“They rang,” he grumbled, picking up the receiver, “just like at the telephone exchange. Well, what else? You are told there is no king.

He slammed his pipe, yawned again, this time cautiously, and stared at us.

— Who is that? he asked, pointing at me with a thick finger adorned with a huge ring.

My bearded men bowed low and told how they caught me. It was very strange to listen to them. They seemed to speak Russian, and at the same time I did not understand many words. I, in their opinion, was either blessed or wonderful.

- Wonderful? the oprichnik on duty spoke slowly. - Well, if wonderful ... in his jesters. And you go!

My bearded men bowed again and left, and I remained face to face with the guardsman on duty. He sniffed importantly, looked at me and drummed on the table with a thick finger.

A boy in a long coat and red boots entered the room. The fat man on duty jumped up briskly and bowed low to him. The boy did not answer his greeting.

“Don’t go here, prince,” said the guard on duty, “this is the sovereign’s office.

“Don’t drive me away, serf,” the boy interrupted him and stared at me with great surprise.

I winked at him. He was even more surprised. I wanted to stick my tongue out at him, but changed my mind. Suddenly offended. And I didn't want that. Although they called him "prince", I liked him. His face was sad and kind. So he could tell me what's what here. But we didn't get to know each other better. Some terrible old woman ran in and dragged the boy away screaming. He, poor thing, did not have time to utter a word.

The oprichnik on duty again began to examine me. I decided to say hello to him just in case. Politeness never hurts a cause.

“Hello, comrade guardsman on duty,” I said as cultured as possible.

The fat man suddenly turned purple and barked:

- On your feet, puppy!

I looked around, but didn't see any puppy.

- Where is the puppy? I asked him

- You are a puppy! roared the oprichnik.

"I'm not a puppy," I said firmly. - I'm a boy.

- In the legs, I say! He just choked with anger.

Give him those legs! And what did he mean by that? This needed to be determined immediately.

— Excuse me, what legs?

- Touched! the duty officer sighed, took out a huge handkerchief and wiped the sweat from his face. His cheeks turned pale. - Blessed.

A breathless young oprichnik burst into the office.

The Emperor has returned! - he blurted out from the threshold - Angry, passion! And Malyuta Skuratov is with him! Attendant required!

The fat man jumped up, crossed himself in fright, and turned white.

Both of them flew out of the office in a whirlwind and stomped up the stairs. I was left alone. It was necessary to think, to understand the whole story. What a pity that my Kuzi is not with me! Completely, completely alone, and there is no one to consult with. I sat down in a chair and took a deep breath.

The boyar entered the office with a mail bag on his shoulder. He asked where the oprichnik was on duty. I said that the oprichnik on duty had been summoned by the tsar, who was angry about something. The postman crossed himself in fear. I thought that he would immediately leave, but he hesitantly stamped his feet and asked if I understood the letter. I replied that I could sign. The postman handed me the book and I signed. Then he handed me a rolled-up paper and announced that this was a message from Prince Kurbsky. Having said that the message should be given to the guardsman on duty, the postman left. Out of boredom, I opened the receiver and with great difficulty began to parse the message of Prince Kurbsky. It was very difficult to read this message, but I nevertheless somehow read that countless hordes of Napoleon Bonaparte were moving against Russia. That's it! Not only all these adventures, but the war is still coming!

Someone persistently scratches at the door. Mice? No, they couldn't scratch that loudly. I pulled the heavy big handle of the door towards me, and my dear Kuzya ran into the room.

The cat was terribly out of breath, was covered in dust. His fur was ruffled. He didn't have time to catch up. I have never seen him so sloppy.

“I barely got to you, master,” said Kuzya in a tired voice. “I almost got hunted down by dogs. And where did we get to? Some strange people! They don't respect animals at all. I met a red cat named Masha. So it's just some kind of savage! I asked her where the veterinary clinic was (I wanted to run in so that they would smear my wound with iodine: one damned mongrel still grabbed my leg), so, can you imagine, this very redhead, it turns out, does not even know what a “veterinary clinic” is! Even cats speak here somehow not in our way. Run, master, run! And as soon as possible!

Kuzey and I began to discuss the escape plan. It was bad that our ball was lost, and we, even if we managed to escape, would not know in which direction to move. But we had to hurry. The guardsman on duty could return every minute, unless, of course, the tsar pierced him through with a stick, as he did with his son. And then we were threatened with war...

Kuzya started his old song again:

Call Geography!

Kuzya demanded that I stop playing the hero. According to him, we have already overcome many difficulties, and we have been exposed to more dangers than is necessary for the development of will and character. Maybe he was right, but I didn't want to end my journey like that. It's like lying on two shoulder blades yourself.

During our argument, shots suddenly rang out. The real firing began. What happened? There was some kind of commotion, noise, shouts were heard, the window was illuminated by the glow of a fire.

- Well, everything! I cried out in despair. The French are coming! It tugged at my tongue to say that in class!

“I knew it was your tricks!” Kuzya shouted fiercely and even snorted at me, which had never happened before. “Even I understand that it’s a shame not to know the history of your homeland, it’s a shame to confuse time and events. You poor twin!

Noise and shots did not stop. The phone chirped endlessly. Frightened boyars and guardsmen ran into the office. They all shouted something and shook their long beards. I went cold with fear. The war has begun! And I was the only one to blame. It couldn't be hidden. I jumped up on the table and shouted at the top of my voice:

- Stop! Listen! It's my fault that the French are advancing. I'll try to fix it now!

The boyars fell silent.

- What is your fault, lad? asked the oldest of them sternly.

- I said in class that Ivan the Terrible fought with Bonaparte! For this I rolled a couple. If I remember in what year Napoleon started the war with Russia, all this will disappear. There will be no war! I will stop her.

“Stop the war now, lad!” the old man demanded even more sternly. - Stop before our sovereign executes you.

And everyone cheered in chorus:

"Speak, or we'll hang you!"

- Fuck him! Remember vividly!

Good job - remember! You can remember what you forgot, but how to remember what you don’t know? No, I couldn't remember anything. Bryaknut something again at random? This is not the way out. You can make even worse mistakes. And I confessed that I couldn't remember.

Everyone rushed at me with a roar and, of course, would have dragged me off the table and torn to pieces if the guardsmen with guns at the ready had not burst into the office. Everything was covered in smoke.

— Call Geography! Do not want? Then call your dad!

And it dawned on me!

- I remembered! Remembered! I shouted. - It was the Patriotic War of 1812!

And immediately everything calmed down ... Everything around turned pale ... melted ... A cloud of blue smoke enveloped me and Kuzya, and when it cleared, I saw that I was sitting under a tree in the forest, and my Kuzya curled up on my knees. The ball was at my feet. All this was very strange, but we are already accustomed to the oddities in this strange country. Probably, I would not be surprised if I even turned into an elephant, and Kuzya into a tree. Or vice versa.

“Explain to me, please,” the cat asked, “how did you remember what you didn’t know?”

- When dad got a new phone at work, mom couldn’t remember it, and dad told her: “But it’s so simple! The first three digits are the same as our home phone, and the last four - the year of the Patriotic War - one thousand eight hundred and twelfth. When you asked me to call my dad, I remembered this. It's clear? Now I will firmly remember this, and when I return home, I will definitely read and learn everything about Ivan the Terrible. I will find out in detail about all his sons, especially about Fedya. In general, it's great, Kuzya, that I was able to help myself. Do you know how nice it is to solve the problem yourself? It's like scoring a goal.

“Or catch a mouse,” Kuzya sighed.

The ball moved and rolled softly across the grass. Kuzey and I followed him. Our journey continued.

“Still, it’s very interesting here,” I said. “There is an adventure waiting for us every minute.

“And always either unpleasant or dangerous,” Kuzya grumbled. — As for me, I'm fed up.

But how many extraordinary things we have seen here! All the guys will envy me when I tell them about this Land of unlearned lessons. Zoya Filippovna will call me to the blackboard. There will be silence in the class, only the girls will gasp and groan. Perhaps Zoya Filippovna will even invite the director to listen to my story.

Do you really think anyone will believe you? Kuzya asked. - You'll just be laughed at!

- Why?

Do people believe in what they have not seen with their own eyes? And then, no one can confirm your words.

- And you? I'll take you to class with me. The mere fact that you can speak like a human ...

- Bear! Kuzya shouted.

An angry polar bear jumped out of the forest right at us. Steam poured from him. The mouth was bared, and huge teeth were exposed. It was the end ... But Kuzya, my dear Kuzya! ..

- Farewell, master! Kuzya shouted. "I'm running away from you to the north!"

And the cat rushed to run, and the bear with a roar rushed after him. Cousin's military stratagem worked. He saved me.

I followed the ball. It was very sad without Kuzi. Maybe the bear caught up and tore him to shreds? It would be better if Kuzya did not go with me to this country.

So that I would not be so lonely and dreary, I sang:

You walk through the country you are deserted

And sing a song to yourself.

The road doesn't seem difficult

When you go with a friend.

And the fact that he is a friend, you do not know

And you don't want to be friends with him.

But you will only lose it -

How sad it becomes to live.

I missed Kuze very much. No matter what the cat said - stupid or funny, he always wished me well and was a true friend.

The ball has stopped. I looked around. To my right was a mountain covered in snow and ice. On top of it, under a snow-covered spruce, sat, shivering from the cold and clinging to each other, a negro and a monkey. Large flakes of snow fell on them.

Looked to the left. And there was a mountain, but the snow did not fall here. On the contrary, the hot sun shone over the mountain. Palm trees, tall grass, bright flowers grew on it. A Chukchi and my friend a polar bear were sitting under a palm tree. Will I never get rid of it? I went to the foot of the Cold Mountain and immediately froze. Then I ran to the foot of the Hot Mountain, and I felt so stuffy that I wanted to pull off my T-shirt. Then I ran out into the middle of the road. It was good here. Neither cold nor hot. Fine.

Moans and cries were heard from the mountains.

"I'm shaking all over," complained the negro. - Cold white flies sting me painfully! Give me the sun! Chase away the white flies!

“I will soon melt like seal fat,” cried the little Chukchi. - Give me at least a little snow, at least a piece of ice!

The polar bear roared so that it drowned out everyone:

“Give me the north at last!” I'll cook in my own skin!

The black man noticed me and said:

“White boy, you have a kind face. Save us!

- Sorry! the little Chukchi pleaded.

- Who drove you there? I called to them from below.

— Viktor Perestukin! the boys answered in chorus, the bear and the monkey. — He mixed up geographical zones. Save us! Save!

- I can not! I need to find my cat first. Then, if I have time...

“Save us,” the monkey squeaked. — Save us, and we will give you your cat.

- Do you have Kuzya?

- Do not trust? Look! the bear barked.

And immediately my cat appeared on the Hot Mountain.

— Kuzya! Kss, kss, kss, I called the cat. I jumped for joy.

- I'm dying from the heat, save me! Kuzya croaked and disappeared.

— Hold on! I'm coming to you!

I began to climb the mountain. I smelled of heat, like from a huge oven.

I looked back and saw the cat already on Cold Mountain, next to the monkey. Kuzya was shivering from the cold.

- I'm frozen. Save!

- Hold on, Kuzya! I run to you!

Having quickly escaped from Zharkaya Mountain, I began to climb on the ice to another mountain. I was overcome with cold.

The cat was already standing on the Hot Mountain with the bear. I rolled down the ice into the middle of the road. It became clear to me that they would not give me Kuzya.

Give me back my cat!

- And you tell me: in what zones should we live?

- I do not know. When the teacher was talking about geographical zones, I was reading a book about spies.

The animals, hearing my answer, roared, and the boys began to cry. The bear threatened to tear me to pieces, and the monkey promised to scratch out my eyes. Kuzya wheezed and gasped. I was terribly sorry for them all, but what could I do? I promised them to learn all the seas and oceans, continents, islands and peninsulas. But they demanded one thing: I had to remember the geographical zones.

- I can not! I can not! I shouted desperately and plugged my ears with my fingers.

It immediately became quiet. When I pulled out my fingers, I heard Kuzi's voice:

- I'm dying ... Farewell, master ...

I couldn't let Kuza die. And I called out:

— Dear Geography, help!

- Hello, Vitya! someone said next to me.

I looked back. In front of me was my geography textbook.

— Can't you remember the geographic zones? What nonsense! You know it. Well, in what zone does the monkey live?

"Tropical," I answered as confidently as if I'd known about it before.

What about the polar bear?

— Beyond the Arctic Circle.

- Excellent, Vitya. Now look to the right, then to the left.

That's exactly what I did. Now a black boy was sitting on Hot Mountain, eating a banana and smiling. The monkey climbed up a palm tree and made funny faces. Then I looked up at Cold Mountain. There, a polar bear collapsed on the ice. Finally, the fever stopped tormenting him. The little Chukchi waved a fur mitten at me.

- Where is my Kuzya?

- I'm here.

The cat sat quietly at my feet, wrapping its tail around its paws. Geography asked me what do I want: to continue the journey or to return home?

“Home, home,” Kuzya purred and narrowed his green eyes.

- What about you, Vitya?

I also wanted to go home. But how to get there? My ball has disappeared somewhere.

“Now that I'm with you. - The geography textbook said calmly, - no ball is needed. I know all the roads in the world.

Geography waved its pen, and Kuzey and I took to the air. They got up and immediately fell down at the threshold of our house. I ran into my room. How I missed home!

Hello table and chairs! Hello walls and ceiling!

And here is my cute table with scattered textbooks and nails.

- How good, Kuzya, that we are already at home!

Kuzya yawned, turned away and jumped onto the windowsill.

“Tomorrow you will come with me to school and confirm my story about the Land of Unlearned Lessons. Okay?

Kuzya lay down on the windowsill and began waving his tail. Then he jumped to his feet and looked out the window. I looked out too. Topsy, Lucy Karandashkina's cat, walked importantly across the yard.

“Listen to me,” I said sternly to Kuza. - Tomorrow you ... Why don't you answer? Kuzya!

The cat remained silent. I pulled his tail. He meowed and jumped off the windowsill. All! I realized that I would never hear another word from him.

The geography textbook was probably standing outside the door. I ran out to invite him into the house.

“Come in, dear Geography!”

But there was no one at the door. There was a book on the doorstep. It was my geography textbook.

How could I forget about her! How dare you, without asking, fly away to the Land of unlearned lessons! Poor mommy! She was terribly worried.

Mom entered the room. My dear, the best, most beautiful, kindest mother in the world. But she didn't seem a bit flustered.

"Are you worried about me, mommy?"

She looked at me curiously and intently. It's probably because I rarely call her mommy.

"I'm always worried about you," Mom replied. Exams are coming soon, and you are preparing so badly. Woe is mine!

“Mommy, my dear mommy! I will no longer grief you!

She leaned over and kissed me. She rarely did it either. Probably because I ... Come on! And so it is clear.

Mom kissed me again, sighed, and went into the kitchen. It left a delicious smell of fried chicken. As she left, she turned on the radio, and I heard: “The teacher of school number twelve, Zoya Filippovna Krasnova, and a student of this school, Pyaterkina Katya, took part in the program. The transfer for children is over."

What? No, it can't be! Really, during the time that the radio program was on, I managed to visit ... So that's why my mother didn’t notice anything!

I took the diary and read again what lessons were assigned for tomorrow. Corrected the problem about the diggers, correctly solved the problem about the tailor.

Lyuska Karandashkina appeared with her pigtail loose. I didn't want to tell her about my journey...but I couldn't resist. Told. Of course she didn't believe it. I got very angry with her.

The next day after school we had a class meeting. Zoya Filippovna asked the underachieving children to tell what prevents them from studying well. Everyone invented something. And when the turn came to me, I directly said that no one was bothering me.

Rather, one person interferes. And that person is myself. But I will fight with myself. All the guys were surprised because I had never made a promise to fight myself before. Zoya Filippovna asked why and how I came up with this idea.

- I know! I know! He visited the Land of Unlearned Lessons.

The guys made a noise, began to ask me to tell about this trip. I refused. They still won't believe me. But the guys promised to believe if it was interesting. I broke down a little more, and then asked those who want to eat to leave and not interfere, because I will talk for a very long time. Of course, everyone wanted to eat, but no one left. And I began to tell everything from the very beginning, from the day when I got five deuces. The children sat very quietly and listened.

I talked and kept looking at Zoya Filippovna. It seemed to me that she was about to stop me and say: “Enough for you, Perestukin, to invent, it would be better if you taught lessons like a person.” But the teacher remained silent and listened attentively. The guys kept their eyes on me, sometimes they laughed quietly, especially when I told about Cousin's stories, sometimes they got excited and frowned, sometimes they looked at each other in surprise. They would listen again and again. But I had already finished my story, and they were still silent and looked into my mouth.

- OK it's all over Now! Shut up? So I knew you wouldn't believe me.

The guys cheered. All at once, vying with each other, they said that even if I came up with it, I came up with such a great idea, so interesting that you can believe it.

"And you, Zoya Filippovna, do you believe?" I asked the teacher and looked her straight in the eyes. If I made it all up, would I dare to ask her like that?

Zoya Filippovna smiled and stroked my head. It was absolutely amazing.

— I believe. I believe that you, Vitya, will study well.

And, true. Now I am learning better. Even the right Katya said that I was improving. Zhenchik confirmed this. But Lyuska still grabs a deuce and walks with a loose scythe.

I passed the exams and entered the fifth grade. True, sometimes I really want to talk with Kuzey, to remember what happened to us during the trip to the Land of Unlearned Lessons. But he is silent. I even began to love him a little less. Recently, I even told him: “Well, Kuzya, whether you like it or not, I will still get a dog. Shepherd!

Kuzya snorted and turned away.