How to impress others. How to make a good first impression

Give your interlocutor the opportunity to talk about himself."Tell me what you like to do in free time?" When talking to a woman, it would be appropriate to compliment her appearance, for example: “This color suits you so well.” If you don’t know what exactly to say to a person, never give a compliment just for the sake of saying something. People will easily recognize your insincerity, and it will offend them.

Find general theme for conversation. If you are at a party, you can ask your interlocutor if he knows other guests and talk about this topic.

If you come for an interview, it is better to find information about this company in advance. In fact, the more you know about the business, the better. Try to hide tattoos if you have them. They rarely make a good impression on the company's superiors and clients. However, you shouldn't behave like that. as if you know everything in the world.

If your teeth are in bad shape, find a way to get them in order. Unhealthy teeth are disgusting. You may need to find overtime work to be able to pay for the dentist - bad teeth will ruin any good impression!

• If you have uneven teeth, you should consult an orthodontist and get braces. Remember to brush your teeth twice a day to ensure fresh breath.

Use perfume with great care. This says a lot about you. It’s important not to overdo it here. You may really like the scent of a perfume, but the scent of the perfume may be unpleasant to other people or even cause allergies in them. Taking these considerations into account, it may be better not to wear perfume at all. If you still want to apply perfume, it is better to spray it in the air and, after waiting a few seconds, pass through the fragrant cloud.

Take care of hygiene. This is very important, especially for teenagers. These tips may seem obvious, but shower daily and always wear clean, neat clothes. Remember to brush your teeth twice a day and always use antiperspirant deodorant, especially if you have an important meeting that makes you nervous.

• Girls can apply a little concealer to their face. Do not overuse cosmetics, it looks unattractive. If you are going to solemn event You can apply light makeup using lip gloss or lipstick, mascara, and sometimes eye shadow and eyeliner.

End the conversation on the right note. Let the person want to pave it. Let me understand. that you had a good time and hope you meet the person again. You can even send short message when you return home. Even if people have a good impression of you. It is important for them to make sure that you also enjoyed communicating with them. It is important for them to receive confirmation of this. However, don't be too intrusive!

Be yourself. Don't try to pretend to be someone else, otherwise you will be forced to continue maintaining a false image. Be yourself. This advice may seem trivial. but this is the honest truth! Never lie to people about yourself and be honest. If people discover that you have deceived them, they will feel bad and are unlikely to forgive you.

Every person knows how important it is to be able to make a first impression. This is especially true in relation to the professional environment, because based on the opinion formed about a person, the tone of the meeting is set, the course of the interview, or potential business relationship. That is why business people it is necessary to have complete confidence that the impression of them always remains positive.

So, you probably already know how to give a presentation and have already been exposed to a million ways of doing things. Now you need to have a clear idea of ​​how to impress people. Our publication today will help you with this.

Keep your back straight

If you keep your back slouched while sitting in a chair, business partners may recognize signs of laziness, weakness, or unselfishness in you. Remember that it is necessary to sit during negotiations with a perfectly straight back. This also applies to the standing position. Always watch your shoulders and chin. Even if the person you are dating does not attach importance to non-verbal signals, your posture will already shape the the right opinion. On a subconscious level, others perceive a person with a straight back and slightly raised head as a strong personality.

Eye contact

We all know that people who try their best to avoid eye contact, nervous or unsure of themselves. However, even introverted people can easily establish eye contact with a partner. After all, for this it is not at all necessary to stare at your interlocutor with a manic expression in your eyes. There is no need for diligence here; 3-5 seconds of a calm, confident and open look are enough.

Smile

Yes, indeed, a smile can be contagious. Have you noticed how strangers, in response to your radiant smile, never remain gloomy. That is why we advise you to take care of the condition of your teeth and use this irresistible technique at every opportunity. Smiling shows the partner on the other side of the negotiation that you are friendly and that you like him. Know that even after the meeting is over, your pleasant facial expression will remind others that you good man. Use this technique also when making acquaintances in an informal setting. A smile is what will help your interlocutor feel next to you maximum comfort and warmth.

Don't overdo it with interjections

Even if the person who communicates with you does not initially focus on the nuances of your speech, you should still not often use interjections in phrases. Constant “hmm...” and “uh...” on a subconscious level contribute to the formation of a negative impression of you. People will think that you are narrow-minded, insufficiently experienced, not interesting, or do not know how to negotiate. If you can't control this habit, try speaking at a slower pace. This way you can formulate each word in advance and make a positive impression.

Be the first to contact

If you make contact easily, you demonstrate self-confidence, ease and easy-going behavior. By taking the first step, you show good spirits and own feeling comfort in this particular environment. Follow this rule, and basic small talk can easily transform into a real business partnership.

Conclusion

Always try to make the right first impression, even if you are not in business negotiations. After all, if other people this moment not interested in your services, who knows how things will turn out in the future? Therefore, whenever possible, try to follow our advice, and then knowing the secrets of communication will become a useful and productive habit for you.

As you know, the first impression is the impression that a person makes on us from the first seconds of the first meeting. In particular, psychologists say that it is formed within the first seven seconds from the moment of meeting. Some of them spend even less time on this: only 2 seconds. Further, they believe, the opinion may change, but only to a small extent.

But don’t go to a psychologist here either: we all know that when we meet a new person, we almost understand at first glance whether we like him or not. It’s just that we can’t determine with an accuracy of up to a second how much time it took us.

We meet new people every day. And we don’t just collide, but whether we like it or not, we have to communicate with them: in the same transport, in various fields services, etc. We evaluate, we are evaluated, and how we behave in a given situation depends on what is produced on us, whether we will maintain further relationships with a new person - whether he will become our colleague or friend, or we We’ll prefer to take the tenth road around it. Even love at first sight, which is talked about so much, is based on the same first impression.

One can argue for a long time how correct the first impression is. After all, it also happens that a person we don’t like at first sight eventually becomes ours. best friend. And the one we were delighted with at first will greatly disappoint us in the future. And we will once again be convinced of the correctness of the statement: “First impressions are deceiving.”

And let's remember what our favorite classic wrote:

“When people assure me that first impressions never deceive them, I just shrug my shoulders. In my opinion, such people are not very insightful or overly arrogant. As for me, the longer I know a person, the more mysterious he seems. And just about my oldest friends, I can say that I know absolutely nothing about them.”

It is curious that another popular writer - our contemporary, born exactly 100 years later than Maugham - stated the opposite:

“In reality, people are not that complicated, and the first impression someone makes on us is usually correct.”

And yet, there are few people who would not want to make a favorable first impression. And one of the cases when this is very important for us is an interview with an employer. Especially if we want to get our dream job.

"You don't get a second chance to make a first impression."

How to win over a stranger

Many people probably know how to ruin a first impression. But are there any techniques that will endear us to a stranger, and in particular to an employer?

1. They greet you based on their clothes, but they see you off based on their intelligence.

We've all heard this proverb a hundred times, suggesting that clothes are important, but the mind is still more important. Yes, but they still greet you based on their clothes!

We can say that this is a kind of business card. In most cases, we can judge a person’s wealth by clothing. social status, his occupation, how neat he is. Equally important is its relevance for different cases life. When you look at a person in stale clothes and dirty hair, internal rejection arises: it seems that his affairs are also neglected.

As for , it is clear that a young man applying for a respectable position and coming to an interview in shorts, a bright T-shirt with a frivolous slogan and beach slippers may arouse distrust from the employer.

Some people who, due to their occupation, have to be in public a lot, resort to the help of image makers, who “invent” an image for them depending on what they “bring to the masses.” AND we're talking about not only about clothes, but about the whole appearance.

For example, we came to a lecture, and we see how the lecturer, on the way to the stage, smoothes his hair, pulls up his trousers or skirt, fussily looks for something in his pockets - everything, the first impression of him is already spoiled.

In the same few seconds, an observant person manages to catch the facial expressions, gestures, and posture of another person. And now he can already judge how self-confident and independent his interlocutor is, what his self-esteem is, whether he is an optimist in life or a pessimist, etc. It is no secret that a more favorable impression will be made by a person who radiates friendliness, goodwill and confidence.

By the way, psychologists distinguish in human behavior, thanks to which it is possible to determine state of mind interlocutor. If we want to make an impression open person, then they should not cross or “lock” the positions of the arms and legs. Our gestures should be smooth and our head should be slightly raised. Conversely, hands hidden behind our backs or in our pockets, crossed legs or fingers, and a bowed head will show our psychological closedness.

2. We speak beautifully

If we want to make a good impression, we must pay attention to ours, because it’s not for nothing that they call it the second person.

Sometimes a voice conveys a person’s character so accurately that we don’t even need to see it. For example, we are talking on the phone with stranger and we hear shrill notes in his voice. In our minds, the image of an unbalanced, hysterical person appears. If our interlocutor’s speech is too fast and confusing, then, most likely, we are dealing with an insecure person who is in too much of a hurry to express his opinion, fearing that he will be interrupted or stopped listening. The owner of a clear voice is usually a cheerful and positive person.

And some people are endowed with such a bewitching and magical timbre of their voice that only thanks to it an excellent first impression is formed about them.

An open, inviting gaze makes a favorable impression. Therefore, when entering into a conversation, it is important to establish and maintain with the interlocutor. In this way we will express our interest in him and what he says, show our sympathy and desire to continue communication.

Conversely, shifting or downcast eyes suggest that our interlocutor is insincere and is hiding something from us. Seeing his downcast gaze, we will think that for some reason he considers himself guilty or too depressed. True, you shouldn’t confuse your interlocutor with too direct and unwavering gaze. Such piercing gaze can make him think that we are eager to take a dominant position, and creates a repulsive impression.

4. We give the interlocutor the right to speak first

Psychologists say that it is much easier to win someone’s sympathy if you give him the opportunity to speak first. By doing this we will show our respect and interest in the interlocutor, and he will be grateful to us a hundred times for this.

The gift is quite rare, and therefore valuable. There are not so many people who listen to us without interrupting or without thinking about something of their own. Therefore, we do not forget the one who shows attention to us, giving us the right to have the first word. And we have the most favorable impression of him as a “dearest person.”

5. Choose personal meetings

IN Lately Meetings and interviews, for example, with the help of . And this is not surprising: employers, clients, and potential employees are sometimes separated by enormous distances.

On the one hand, it is very convenient. On the other hand, there are pitfalls here. Namely: psychologists have found that it is much easier to win over a person by communicating in person. And the one who resorts to help modern means communication, while gaining in time and money, sometimes loses in the impression it makes on the interlocutor.

So, the researchers advise: if you really need to make a good impression, you should prefer personal contacts face to face rather than through telephone or Internet communications.

Every person should think about what first impression they make, observe their behavior and habits, analyze and, if necessary, adjust. After all, no matter what they say about it being deceptive, there are many situations in life when our fate depends on the first impression we make.

1. Behave naturally in all situations.

2. Don't go to extremes. If you are too tense and constrained, then the first impression of you will clearly not be the best. If, on the contrary, you are too relaxed or familiar, you may offend your interlocutor with your behavior.

3. You should not be too serious and pretend to be a very smart and busy person.

4. Show interest in other people, their affairs and problems.

5. Be discreet and tactful.

6. Express sincere approval. Notice everything you like about the person and tell him about it.

7. Give more compliments.

If you want to win over someone who has a negative attitude towards you, give him a compliment about his abilities that you do not possess. Compliments require special tact. Any compliment should be without double meaning so that your rating cannot be interpreted as either positive or negative.

If you give a disproportionately high assessment of any quality of your interlocutor, then your compliment will sound mocking and will be perceived as an insult. Under no circumstances should you give a compliment regarding those qualities that a person is trying to get rid of.

Sincere compliments, devoid of exaggeration, are always pleasant.

In some cases, an unexpressed compliment can border on impoliteness, for example, if you fail to appreciate the dishes prepared with love by the hostess or other manifestations of her attention.

Compliments quite often relate to the appearance of the interlocutor, and therefore each compliment sentence usually includes a positive evaluative adverb - good, wonderful, wonderful or great:

You (you) look good (fine, fashionable, great).

You (you) look (look) very good!

You (you) look good today!

If you want to emphasize some character traits or behavior of your interlocutor, use adverbs - very, just like an adjective - what:

You (you) are very (so) smart (smart, smart)! _ How smart you (you are) - (smart, smart)!

How smart you are!

You (you) have a wonderful character.

You (you) have exquisite taste.

It's interesting to communicate with you.

When meeting after a long separation, well-meaning people celebrate a good appearance your friends:

You (you) do not change (change), do not grow old (eat), you keep getting younger (eat).

You (you) will not be given your (your) years.

How a compliment can sound and a positive assessment professional qualities interlocutor:

You (you) are such a good specialist...

Every compliment presupposes an expression of reciprocal gratitude:

Thank you!

Thanks for the compliment!

I'm very pleased.

Glad to hear it.

Glad to hear that.

A return compliment can also be made regarding the appearance, clothing of the interlocutor or repeating what he said:

You (you) look good too.

And you (you) have a beautiful suit

I can say the same about you (you).

The same can be said about you (you).

8. Listen to your interlocutor with attention. Observe his non-verbal behavior.

9. Try to find something in common between you and your interlocutor. Never look for differences. People love to communicate with those for whom they have sympathy, who are similar to them, then communication allows them to feel inner harmony.

In psychology there is such a thing as pacing or reflection. In order for the relationship to be smooth, free, open, and reliable, you need to try to create an atmosphere of “reflection” in which everything that your interlocutor does or hears seems correct to him. It is important to show in communication those sides of your character that are closest to your interlocutor. Use pacing consciously. This can be achieved in three ways:

a) through body language: gestures, posture, gait, facial expression, breathing, clothing;

c) through feelings.

The most a shining example unconscious pacing can be considered a relationship between lovers. They repeat each other in everything. They speak the same, use the same words, have the same opinions, and so on.

10. Provide only positive signs of attention, such as praise, gratitude, appreciative glances, and the like. Positive signs of attention will bring joy to your interlocutor and strengthen his faith in his strength.

A person who receives too few positive signs of attention shows dissatisfaction with everyone around him. He blames his bad life conductors, superiors, government and often falls into depression.

Avoid negative signs of attention, such as contemptuous looks, shrugging, expressions of distrust, ingratitude, ridicule.

11. A person’s gestures and postures can make both a pleasant and negative impression on the interlocutor.

Many gestures are not recorded by consciousness, but fully convey a person’s mood and thoughts.

The raised shoulders of your interlocutor indicate that he is tense and feels the danger emanating from you.

Raised shoulders and a lowered head indicate that your interlocutor is withdrawn. He is either unsure of himself, or afraid of something, or dissatisfied with your conversation, or feels humiliated.

Dropped shoulders and a raised head are evidence that your interlocutor is determined to succeed and is in control of the situation.

Bowed head to the side - your interlocutor is interested.

Rubbing the eyelid - your interlocutor is telling a lie.

There are several basic gestures and postures that convey internal state person.

Gestures of openness help to win over your interlocutor, invite him to a frank conversation and leave him with the most favorable impression of yourself. Gestures of openness include the “open hands” gesture, when the interlocutor extends his hands with his palms up, and the “unbuttoning his jacket” gesture. When agreement is reached between the interlocutors, they involuntarily unbutton their jackets.

Gestures of suspicion and secrecy indicate that the person is not in the mood for a conversation. These gestures include rubbing the forehead, temples, chin, and involuntarily covering the face with one’s hands. If the interlocutor averts his eyes, this is the clearest indicator that he is hiding something.

Gestures and defensive postures indicate that a person feels danger or threat emanating from you. The most common defensive gesture is the arms crossed over the chest.

If your interlocutor has his arms crossed, then it is better to end the conversation. And if he also clenched his palms into fists, then this indicates his extremely hostile attitude. In this case, you need to slow down your speech, and it is best to change the topic of conversation.

Gestures of reflection and evaluation show that the partner is interested in the conversation. Gestures of reflection include the “pinching the bridge of the nose” gesture, the “thinker” pose, when the interlocutor rests his hand on his cheek.

Gestures of doubt and uncertainty indicate that something is unclear to the interlocutor in the conversation or that your arguments seem unconvincing to him. Such gestures include scratching with the index finger right hand places under the earlobe or the side of the neck, rubbing the nose with the index finger.

An offended person most often raises his shoulders and lowers his head. If your interlocutor has taken exactly this position, then the topic of conversation should be changed.

Gestures and postures expressing aggressiveness include tightly intertwined fingers, especially if the hands are on the knees, and clenched fists. How stronger man clenches his fists, the higher the degree of his internal excitement.

Gestures and postures expressing irritation - touching the nose or lightly rubbing it; coughing

Gestures and postures that indicate the confidence of the interlocutor include postures: hands are connected at the fingertips, while the palms do not touch; the body is tilted slightly forward, and the hands are on the hips; chin raised high.

Frustration is described as: scratching the head; unbuttoning a shirt collar; tapping your foot on the floor.

A person trying to end a conversation lowers his eyelids. If your interlocutor wears glasses, he will take off his glasses and put them aside.

When your interlocutor scratches his ear or pulls his earlobe, it means that he is tired of listening and wants to speak out himself.

If your interlocutor walks around the room, then this can be interpreted as the fact that he is interested in the conversation, but he needs to think before making a decision.

If your interlocutor, standing, leans his hands on a table or chair, it means that he is not sure whether you are listening to him attentively.

A confident person who wants to show his superiority over others can be recognized by gestures - “putting his hands behind his back while grabbing his wrist” and “placing his hands behind his head.” It is very difficult to communicate with such a person. If you want to win him over, then lean forward a little with outstretched palms and ask him to explain something to you. Another way is to copy the gesture.

A smug and arrogant man puts his hands together.

If your interlocutor suddenly begins to pick up lint from his clothes, while he turns away from you or looks at the floor, this means that he does not agree with you and does not want to express his opinion.

A person who, during a conversation, holds his hands on the side edges of the chair or his hands lie on his knees, does not want to continue the conversation. You should stop the conversation, then you will leave a good impression of yourself.

If your interlocutor smokes, then by the way he releases smoke, you can determine his attitude towards you and your conversation. The smoke is constantly being released upward, which means that the partner is in a positive mood and enjoys the conversation. The smoke is directed downwards, the partner, on the contrary, is in a negative mood, and the faster he releases the smoke, the more to a greater extent the conversation is unpleasant for him.

You can determine a person’s condition by their gait. A person who keeps his hands in his pockets or swings them wildly, looking at his feet, is in a depressed state. A fast gait with swinging arms indicates self-confidence. A person who walks “with his head raised”, while energetically waving his arms, is arrogant and arrogant. Hands clasped behind your back and a lowered head indicate concern.

12. His facial expressions eloquently testify to a person’s condition. Tightly compressed lips indicate isolation. The downturned corners of the mouth indicate frustration.

During the conversation, try to visually draw a triangle on your partner’s face into which you should look. This will help you concentrate as much as possible.

13. In order to be considered a well-mannered person, you will have to get rid of such qualities as excessive curiosity, hot temper, touchiness and vanity.

Curiosity is inherent in every person. Healthy curiosity broadens your horizons and promotes intellectual development. However, if a person begins to take an interest in other people’s affairs, eavesdropping on conversations, peering through keyholes, then such curiosity is a manifestation of extreme bad manners. It interferes with communication between people.

Having a quick temper will never help you win over your interlocutor. A person who does not know how to argue without raising his voice destroys relationships. Don’t justify your temper as your natural weakness; temper is a flaw in your upbringing.

Touchiness irritates others. Any person in the presence of a touchy interlocutor feels tension. He has to constantly watch himself so as not to inadvertently offend his interlocutor with anything. Touchy man Complaining about an unhappy life, he easily infects those around him with his bad mood.

Vanity is one of the most serious vices. Often vain people occupy leadership positions and are endowed with a certain amount of power. They need constant confirmation of their superiority over others. If you find signs of this disease in yourself, try to get rid of it before it becomes chronic.