Extracurricular activity "special people among us." Is every person special? Irishka was an extraterrestrial, a little man deeply withdrawn into himself, who swayed, lulling himself, and sucked his finger on his hand to calm down

A woman with a dog in her arms opens the door for me. The dog is small, old, whines. They took her in their arms so that she would not bark - the children were sleeping. The woman is young and beautiful, with eyes in which some kind of warm, mysterious light is hidden. When Larisa tells me that her eldest son is already a father three times, and she is a grandmother, I do not hide my amazement.

When she married Dmitry, they did not think about any adopted children. It came out by itself. She was a volunteer at City Hospital No. 18, on Vernadsky Avenue. Khariton was 4, he was diagnosed with myelodysplasia (underdevelopment spinal cord). When Larisa met him, he lay in bed all the time and looked at the world with his beautiful sad eyes.

“I watched him for a whole year,” Larisa recalls. - He was like an angel. He thought that people live in a hospital - they just go somewhere and come back. I told my husband about it. I wanted to help this boy, you know? Friends responded. “They tell you: the child is sick, you can’t cope, he will die, and you have to answer. And you are afraid and do it.

Dmitry enters the kitchen: also young and handsome, with dark hair and a calm smile. They are somehow subtly similar, as is often the case in strong families.

And how did you decide on a foster child who also needs special care? I ask.
- When you are 20, you have the same priorities, - Dima smiles. - And when you are 40, it's completely different. You no longer think that you will miss fishing or something else important in life.
- Well, you went fishing, - says Larisa, - once.

Both laugh.

When Khariton settled at home, it turned out that he was a born artist. He copied children in the hospital and parents at home. Him good memory and he can say the most complex sentences and phrases. “We were told that we could not handle it. He needs a catheter every 2.5 hours. He must be carried on himself - he does not walk, and there is no wheelchair lift at the entrance. But it didn't turn out to be scary."

After a rehabilitation summer in Germany, paid for by Rusfond, Khariton got a modern wheelchair and even a special corset that allowed him to stand. But the corset did not take root - Khariton was bored in it, he was used to kicking the ball while sitting in a wheelchair, turning around when he pleased, and the heavy metal structure fettered his movements. In addition, it is difficult to lower this device into the street every time without a lift: after all, the child also needs to be lowered for a walk.

In Germany, for whose citizens such corsets are made, the available environment is everywhere, and Khariton in Germany walked in a corset himself, with his own feet. It was cool, he liked it. But in Moscow, it became uninteresting to him - anyway, you can’t go out on your own anyway. And yes, you can't get out in a wheelchair. All the efforts of Larisa and Dima to “knock out” the lift were in vain. That's how they live.

Khariton is taken to general education school in Krylatskoye. The school has an inclusive class, and Khariton lies on the carpet between classes and collects Lego. He was lucky with the teacher - she not only teaches, but also cares: she even agreed to put a catheter. If she didn’t agree, Dima would have to be on duty next to her son for half a day.

However, at work they were sympathetic to family circumstances Dmitry and allowed him to work remotely. “In our life, everything happened so that some people “fell away” themselves, and some remained with us, and it became clear that they were forever.” Relatives and the priest did not dissuade them from the "cross". “Yes, it seems to me that there was no suffering in this, there was joy,” says Larisa.

You think that you are generally good, but only this child helps you understand yourself. I have read a lot foreign literature. I learned to communicate with the child, taking into account his characteristics. Learned to listen to him.

special sister

Once Khariton asked his mom and dad for a little sister. They laughed off. And then we read an article on Pravmir about little Irishka from Vladivostok, who was to be adopted by the family of Kristen and Andrew Wiederford from Virginia. They met with Irina and waited to be told the date of the court session. But at the end of 2012, Russia passed a law prohibiting Americans from adopting Russian children. Kristen then cried a lot and asked all the journalists with whom she spoke to find a family for Irina - she felt guilty that she could not adopt her.

“I read the words of Kristen, and she touched me very much,” says Larisa. - And Irishka was so wonderful in the photo. And I realized that in orphanage she will withdraw into herself, it will be difficult for her to survive. But we didn’t know anything about Down syndrome and how to care for such children.”

They found information and specialists, contacted Kristen, who worked correctional teacher and explained that there is nothing special about raising children with Down syndrome - you just need to love them. They called Vladivostok. The regional operator of the federal data bank for orphans said: “Are you sure? The child is blind. Why her? Irishka has optic nerve dystrophy, but Larisa and Dima were no longer afraid of this. “Even with Khariton, we realized that a child is never easy - before you get it, you have to suffer,” Larisa laughs.

And they flew to Vladivostok.

The paperwork took several days - and now Irishka is sitting on the plane, closing her eyes and freezing tightly. And so - the whole flight. All the way she did not eat a crumb or a drop of dew. Arriving, she drank a glass of water, and at home, when the cat jumped on the sofa to her, she crawled away from him like a spider, and fell asleep soundly.

“They gave us her 4-year-old, but there was a feeling that this was a nursing baby,” Larisa recalls. - They told me with a smile: “Here is your microtype.” She weighed 9 kilograms and was 80 centimeters tall. She didn’t walk, didn’t drink or eat on her own, didn’t speak. At first she ate all the time at home. After a couple of months, she was on her feet. Now she weighs 15 kilograms, she eats with a spoon herself, she calls her dad “daddy”, she loves her brother very much.

The lunch time is coming to an end, and Irishka leaves the bedroom for the kitchen. She immediately climbs onto her father's knees and hugs him, then sits down with her mother, takes out pencils and draws circles. "This is our new success- until now there were kalyaki-malaki, and now circles, ”says Larisa. Until her parents decided not to take her to Kindergarten- let her adapt, so she spent 4 of her five years in a government institution.

Dima brings Khariton - a boy, surprisingly similar to him, carefully looks at me. When his parents told him about Irishka, asking him if they could handle it, because she was all alone and needed special care,

Him rich imagination. At first, he had many fears - he was afraid of open windows, midges, cars. And Irishka was afraid. And now from morning to evening he sings and plays. “At some point, we realized that with the advent of Irishka, we always have a smile from ear to ear,” says Larisa. "A very bright child."

Sometimes they Skype with Kristen. At first, Kristen cried all the time - she dreamed for many days that a little girl from Russia would appear in her family. But now she smiles because Irishka has found her home, and Kristen helped her with this.

In the federal database of orphans, there are still several children from the "American list" - they were wanted to be adopted by US citizens, but did not have time. Among them are 10-year-old Valeria from St. Petersburg and 9-year-old Oksana from Vladimir. Girls have Down syndrome. Katrina Morris and Judy Johnson, who were supposed to be mothers to girls, are praying that families will be found in Russia for Lera and Oksana. After all, the law has already taken away three years of childhood from them.

They say the world has special person.
He's the one who sits next to you on the minibus when your life manages to fall apart in one go, when your personal cross becomes too heavy to carry on your back. When your hands are shaking - and your voice would probably be shaking if the stone in your chest didn't prevent you from speaking. When everything becomes cloudy, it becomes not important at all; when connections, like strings, are torn, and the meaning - seemingly found - seems like a stupid invention, an excuse for one's own uselessness. It is at this moment that a special person takes the seat next to you. Silently looks at you, and then says something simple, but necessary to the point of pain, to the point of grateful laughter. Something that gives you the strength to get through a few more days.

You smile and even joke. You shamefacedly cover your face with both hands that were shaking until recently, wanting to hide your awkward, but obvious weakness, so clearly seen by your neighbor. But deep down you know that no one is judging you. And it makes it easier for you.

The person gets off at the same stop as you. Sometimes he accompanies him to the house, but after that, as all the creators of good deeds are supposed to, he goes further around the world. Help the rest of the doomed.

Soon he is met somewhere else. He finds those who are tearful and empty, but determined in their own destruction. Burnt inside, hammered, filled with pain to the brim. In silence, they measure the roads with their steps, limply trudge somewhere to the end of the path.

The man finds them at the edge. This edge is anything - high building on the outskirts or a path to your favorite park, the streets of the Center, the doors of entrances ... Everyone has this edge - their own.

But that's where they meet the man. Sunny by nature, with a subdued light in his eyes, he says:
– Can I help you with something?

And people can't refuse him. Initially hostile, closed in on themselves and their own desperate misfortune, they suddenly respond, opening up to a simple passer-by.
– Yes, you can! they often say. And many, a little later, add: - Do ... anything. Tell me something, touch me... Just don't leave me alone. And, I beg you, do not turn out to be either a thief, or a bastard, or a deceiver. Don't be bad. I can't get over this yet.

And the pain comes out. She covers huge wave, and the bodies together with the souls tremble - and tremble. Destitute, people suffocate in sobs and their own hopeless, absorbing and hopeless grief. And cling to the person. And he, fulfilling their request, a desperate cry of prayer, hugs them with warm, gentle hands and cradles them, not letting go, like lost children. He does not let people go until the bright pain that suddenly came out leaves the exhausted hearts. Until the calm from childhood envelops their minds, calming the nervous trembling.

After that, the person forgives and forgives: for tears and for a moment of weakness, for stories about life, for hatred and for pain. For all those vices that we are so ashamed of, but which we all have. And people, accepted, reassured, try to live again. If not for themselves, then at least for those who, like Man, did not leave them in the hour of darkness. They again believe in goodness - and, quite a bit, in a miracle, because such saviors are like a gift from heaven. They believe in themselves and, sometimes, even in the fact that they can become the same Person, not indifferent to someone else's emptiness.

After all, desperate people desperately need someone who will be there when they run out of strength. Who will become a wall at the very end of the path, when the whole world has faded, and the future - joyful, bright - has collapsed like a house of cards.
We all really need such a person.
And there would be many such people if each of us decided to become one for others.

You probably thought that we will talk about some extraordinary people special properties. This is how we usually see pop and movie stars, famous politicians, scientists, clairvoyants and others. No, we are talking about truly special people - the foundation of all mankind. The idea of writing this article was not born yesterday, but the impetus was the reading of Maria Gribova's article "Ordinary People". What the author writes about cannot leave indifferent most of the readers. I was moved to tears.

I immediately remembered my grandparents - simple rural workers. I remembered their familiar and kind faces, furrowed with deep wrinkles; their chapped, calloused but so tender palms. And eyes in which there is such light! - the light of true wisdom and truth of life ...

I often think: what good did they see in their lives? They worked all the time - from dawn to dusk, without demanding any awards or honors. On their shoulders lay all the burdens of becoming Soviet power. Their whole villages and villages were destroyed in the Holodomor. It was they who won the most bloody and terrible Great War in the history of mankind. Patriotic war, millions dying from fascist bullets and shells for the sake of saving our lives. It was they who restored everything destroyed by the war National economy and gave birth to children - how many God will give! - not afraid of any difficulties, and raised worthy people. And they did not need any money, no positions, no elementary comforts of life, no pickles.

SPECIAL PEOPLE are those who just don’t have their own “I”, but have “WE”. They are "like everyone else", "so that everything is like people's", "as the team says." These are people with a muscular vector. Only in training systems-vector psychology Yuri Burlan, I learned about such people. There are 38% of them in our general unconscious mental. These are the most peaceful, conflict-free, complaisant people. This is the salt of the earth. This is live weight of all mankind. This is life itself in the human body.

People with muscle vector are the people of the earth. Only they truly feel the earth alive. They are firmly attached to native land, to his small homeland. For them, the taste of water from their well or an apple from their garden is special. A muscular woman is always a mother-heroine with a bunch of kids. At the age of 16-17, she already twists it at the physical level - you want to give birth so much! She went to mow with her stomach, the time has come - she threw the scythe, gave birth under a haystack, mowed it down and carried the child home. What a power! And she manages the child so deftly, as if she had already nursed a dozen.

One of my grandmother had 8 children, but four died in early age. I remember my grandmother's garden, in which many apple trees grew. When the early apples appeared, we, the grandchildren, would pick and bring the grandmother to treat. And she refuses. "Grandma, why don't you like apples?" I ask. “Granddaughter, I love you very much,” he replies. “Only before the Savior I can’t eat them. Four of my little children have died. At that the light is coming God and apples to children on Spas distributes. And if you eat before the Savior, then he won’t give mine, he will say: “your mother pig ate your apples.” And only a sad smile on his face and not a single tear in his eyes. God gave - God took, what can you do! And then I cried at night, imagining the children in the next world without the apples that their mother ate. As muscular people are taught, so they live: without arguing, without discussing, without sticking out. The main thing is to be like people, to be like everyone else.

All people relate to death differently in accordance with their vector set: some are afraid of death to the point of horror, others even desire it. You can learn about these amazing features at the training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Only muscle people deal with death calmly. They prepare for death ahead of time, so that everything would be human, that would be according to the correct rite.
So my grandmother always had everything prepared in advance for death. I remember my grandmother in the garden, and we, grandchildren, in the house - the heat. Things to do? - climb into the closet, dress up in dresses and arrange a concert. The cousin got to the mysterious bundle in the very depths of the closet, untied it, and there, among the scarves, bedspreads and towels - a simple black dress. Not understanding what kind of dress it was, my sister put it on, painted her lips with red lipstick and let's dance - a concert is a concert! And then comes grandma...

Never forget the rage that twisted her kindest face. She, who never punishes us, spanked her sister so much that everyone was frightened. Everyone roared together, and grandmother is with us. Now I only know why she had such a reaction to the innocent trick of the children: you can’t encroach on the holy of holies of a muscular person - something that is prepared for death. And so the cherished bundle for death always lay in the closet. Then suddenly someone was dying in the village, but he didn’t cook for death, and the grandmother gave her bundle. Then I picked up a new one again. I don’t even know how many such nodules have changed - my grandmother lived to be almost 90 years old. And up last day worked hard. And I tried to persuade her to rest, she was so sorry. Then I could not even imagine that hard monotonous work on the ground, at the machine, on the conveyor is the greatest pleasure for people with a muscular vector!

Now, I hope you also understand that not pop and movie stars and others like them are special. Special, just the simplest people. If not for them, people without pretensions, and we would not exist - so smart, self-sufficient and always dissatisfied with everything.

Where is humanity going now, driving these special people into the cities? In short, to extinction and degradation. This especially affects the post-Soviet countries, where the urethral-muscular mentality of the majority of the population. They destroy the village, and with it they destroy the most healthy part of humanity (both mentally and physically) - people with a muscular vector. Just like the Russian village becomes an inveterate drunkard. But these are separate, very deep topics.

What just amazes me in the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan? From some small episode of life, realized systematically, you can write a whole systemic novel. What deep layers this knowledge reveals in all areas of life!

I dedicate this article with great gratitude to the millions of our ancestors and their descendants - special ordinary people on which the whole world rests. Without them, there will be nothing on Earth!

I want that when meeting a person of labor, we would not turn up our noses, would not express our mental and material superiority, but would say to him a simple human “THANK YOU” for his work, which most of us are no longer capable of.

The article was written based on the materials of the training on

An unusual family lives in an ordinary Moscow apartment on Ochakovskoye Highway - with special children and big love, the warmth of which envelops even outsiders who have looked in for a cup of tea. Three years after a law was passed in Russia banning the adoption of Russian orphans by American citizens, I came to visit a girl who lost her family twice and found her family twice.

special boy

When she married Dmitry, they did not think about any adopted children. It came out by itself. She was a volunteer at City Hospital No. 18, on Vernadsky Avenue. Khariton was 4, he was diagnosed with myelodysplasia (underdevelopment of the spinal cord). When Larisa met him, he lay in bed all the time and looked at the world with his beautiful sad eyes.

Dmitry enters the kitchen: also young and handsome, with dark hair and a calm smile. They are somehow subtly similar, as is often the case in strong families.

When Khariton settled at home, it turned out that he was a born artist. He copied children in the hospital and parents at home. He has a good memory and can pronounce the most complex sentences and phrases. “We were told that we could not handle it. He needs a catheter every 2.5 hours. He must be carried on himself - he does not walk, and there is no wheelchair lift at the entrance. But it didn't turn out to be scary."

Khariton is taken to a comprehensive school in Krylatskoye. The school has an inclusive class, and Khariton lies on the carpet between classes and collects Lego. He was lucky with the teacher - she not only teaches, but also cares: she even agreed to put a catheter. If she didn’t agree, Dima would have to be on duty next to her son for half a day.

However, at work they were sympathetic to Dmitry's family circumstances and allowed him to work remotely. “In our life, everything happened so that some people “fell away” themselves, and some remained with us, and it became clear that they were forever.” Relatives and the priest did not dissuade them from the "cross". “Yes, it seems to me that there was no suffering in this, there was joy,” says Larisa.

Friends told us: “Here Kharitosha was lucky.” And I thought: yes, I was lucky that he chose me. This child has reforged us.

You think that you are generally good, but only this child helps you understand yourself. I have read a lot of foreign literature. I learned to communicate with the child, taking into account his characteristics. Learned to listen to him.

special sister

“I read the words of Kristen, and she touched me very much,” says Larisa. - And Irishka was so wonderful in the photo. And I realized that in the orphanage she would withdraw into herself, it would be difficult for her to survive. But we didn’t know anything about Down syndrome and how to care for such children.”

Kristen and Andrew Wiederford and Ira

They found information and specialists, contacted Kristen, who worked as a correctional teacher, and explained that there is nothing special about raising children with Down syndrome - you just need to love them. They called Vladivostok. The regional operator of the federal data bank for orphans said: “Are you sure? The child is blind. Why her? Irishka has optic nerve dystrophy, but Larisa and Dima were no longer afraid of this. “Even with Khariton, we realized that a child is never easy - before you get it, you have to suffer,” Larisa laughs.

And they flew to Vladivostok.

Irishka was an extraterrestrial, a little man who was deeply withdrawn into himself, who swayed, lulling himself, and sucked his finger on his hand to calm down.

The lunch time is coming to an end, and Irishka leaves the bedroom for the kitchen. She immediately climbs onto her father's knees and hugs him, then sits down with her mother, takes out pencils and draws circles. “This is our new success - until now there were kalyaki-doodles, and now circles,” says Larisa. While her parents decided not to take her to kindergarten - let her adapt, so she spent 4 of her five years in a government institution.

Khariton replied: "Let's manage, it will bloom with us like a fiery rose."

He has a rich imagination. At first, he had many fears - he was afraid of open windows, midges, cars. And Irishka was afraid. And now from morning to evening he sings and plays. “At some point, we realized that with the advent of Irishka, we always have a smile from ear to ear,” says Larisa. "A very bright child."

Olga Allenova, Kommersant, especially for Pravmir. Photos by Olga Allenova and Anna Galperina.

Incredible Facts

"The more you love yourself, the less you look like anyone else, and that makes you unique." - Walt Disney

Most people suffer from low self-esteem. But among us there are many special people who don't even realize they're unique.

The reason for this is that sometimes there can be people in our lives who underestimate us and make us feel useless and flawed.

It's nice to know that you are special.

To be a special person good sense words, each of us strives. However, only a few can be classified as such.

But there are signs that indicate that you are the chosen one, about whom you can safely say: he (she) is indeed a special person.

Here are the 10 signs:

Special person

1. You think there is always something to learn in life.

"The only true wisdom lies in the realization that we essentially know nothing." (Socrates)

You are not arrogant, like many people, and you are interested in what is happening around the world. In addition, you are an inquisitive person, and you always feel that you have to learn something new, because it is always useful to improve your own skills.

2. You are kind to others.

When you meet new people or when you are dealing with someone you already know, such as chatting with friends or colleagues, you smile and are always kind to them.

And rightly so, because there is no reason to be negative and have a negative attitude towards others.

Never try to imitate people who are always angry and dissatisfied with everything, those who are rude and ignorant, those who disrespect others, even if they themselves are physically stronger.

As a rule, such people have a lot of personal problems and internal complexes.

It is how you treat others that defines you as a person. Your kindness and positivity make you special and unique.

3. You understand other people's feelings

You don't know how, but when someone shares details of their personal life, talks about his problems and troubles, you perfectly understand how this person feels at this moment.

You share feelings and experiences and are able to guess the mood of people.

For example, if someone says to you: "I in perfect order", you know for sure whether the person is okay or it's just a phrase to calm down, but in fact everything is much more serious. After all, by the face and intonation in your voice you are able to determine the experiences of your interlocutor, his thoughts and mood.

4. You know how to enjoy music

"There's a beautiful thing about music - when it hits you, you don't feel pain." - Bob Marley.

The human brain is very sensitive and especially receptive to music. We not only enjoy music, but also need it in our Everyday life and it always evokes deep emotions in us.

These emotions can be good or bad, but they are always very strong emotions.

Rare Qualities

5. You know how to listen

"I like to listen. I learned a lot by listening carefully to others. And most people just don't know how to listen." - Ernest Hemingway

This is one of the rarest qualities in a person. Anyone can talk about themselves for hours. But the talent to hear another is not given to everyone.

If you know how to hear and listen to others, while being sincerely interested in what the interlocutor says to you, then you are truly a special person.

6. You enjoy making others happy.

You feel good every time you manage to please someone or make them happy.

You think a lot about how to make people smile more and live better. And most importantly, you put a lot of effort into it. On your part, it can be an unexpected gift, a smile, a surprise, or any good deed that will make someone in this world happy.