What is selfishness and how to overcome it. How to get rid of selfishness and pride in a relationship tips

Selfishness (from lat. ego - "I") - value orientation, behavior entirely determined by the thought of one's own benefit, benefit, when an individual puts his own interests above the interests of others.

selfishness different personalities perceived quite differently. What is considered normal for one person may be perceived as excessive selfishness by another person. Often the name egoist is used simply as a negative label, demonstrating a negative attitude towards a person without serious grounds.

Selfishness can be explicit, hidden and open, as well as disguised. It can also be conscious and impulsive, far-sighted and short-sighted.

The egoist most often does not go beyond materiality. He wants for himself comfort, material well-being, satisfaction of his desires and ambitions. Those people who think that selfishness is self-love are mistaken. It's not, far from it. After all, often what an egoist wants for himself is far from useful for him. That is, he harms himself and self-decomposes in every possible way, which means that he does not love himself, but rather, even hates.

Selfishness is, in fact, the opposite of spirituality. Almost all religions and spiritual teachings teach renunciation of oneself, of one's personal selfish interests. A person who is closed on these selfish interests is very limited person, he is like a cancer cell on the body of society, which strives to take, always and everywhere, without giving anything.

The development of egoism and its transformation into the dominant orientation of the personality are explained by serious defects in education. If the tactics of family education is objectively aimed at reinforcing such manifestations as high self-esteem and egocentrism of the child, then he can form a stable value orientation, in which only his own interests, needs, experiences, etc. are taken into account.

The philosophy of the egoist sounds in one word - "Give". An egoist is someone who only wants to receive, and at the same time give nothing in return. But our life is arranged in such a way that it is difficult to get something without giving something in return. Answer one more rhetorical question: “Is it important for a person to receive, or to give?”. What matters most: to receive or to give? Well, of course get, and even for free. Receive is main principle egoist. Giving is the main principle of the altruist. Getting only for yourself is very bad.

Egoists by their very nature are real destroyers. If an egoist creates a family, then he destroys it, in any case, his family will never be happy. If the egoist is some kind of boss, then you will not envy his subordinates, they will not see justice and care for themselves, and any enterprise will suffer heavy losses, because all egoist bosses, as a rule, are bureaucrats and careerists who do not disdain anything if only to strengthen his position, and by any means and means, bribes, theft - to provide for himself financially. The interests of the state and the people are indifferent to them. And so it is always, everywhere and in everything - such people destroy everything and bring only one harm.

The insatiable ego screams all the time: “not enough!”, because it does not know how to be content with little, modesty is unknown to it. Egoism leads to the fact that the human mind is constantly in tension, calculating its own benefit and resorting to various tricks and tricks. A person suffering from selfishness cannot truly love either others or even himself. For him, the most important thing is to feel good and comfortable, and everything else does not matter. But the desire for peace and comfort is not love at all. Hidden under a pile of selfishness is a helpless and suffering person who needs warmth, care and attention, but she does not know how all this can be legitimately received.

And the conclusion from all of the above, everyone must draw for himself. After all, no one except the person himself can reliably determine how much he is an egoist, whether he needs it and in what direction he should develop further. Should he choose the path of personal egoism, stimulating his lower "I" or the path of a particle of the Higher Divine "I" (individuality), seeking to discover this "I" in himself. For how can a person be an egoist who is aware of himself and the people around him as part of the One Whole, who understands that he is doing good to others, he is doing good to himself?

How to get rid of selfishness:

Let's start with the fact that a person must be aware of his problem and want to get rid of it. Otherwise, there is nothing to hope for a favorable outcome of the case. First of all, it is necessary to find the origins of the emergence of egoism. As a rule, behind selfish behavior lies a fear of the unknown and a huge distrust of other people. In order to get rid of this fear and distrust, willpower is needed. If selfishness develops into a pathological desire for power and megalomania, then only long-term psychotherapeutic treatment can help in this case. However, in this case, a person must be clearly aware that he is an egoist, and want to change.

Take advantage of our useful tips to get rid of selfishness:

1. Try to do one good and unselfish deed every day - take the old woman across the road, give a free ride to the voter, help the neighbor bring bags to the apartment, replace the employee at work, sit with your nephew.

2. Master the technique active listening. She assumes Active participation in conversation, so:

Ask leading questions;
Be interested in the feelings of the narrator;
Pay attention to body language;
Express your assessment of what you heard.

3. Help the people around you. For example, take part in a charity event - feed a local homeless person, throw a couple of rubles to a beggar, take old things and toys to Orphanage. Plenty of options! As a last resort, go to social service She will put your energy to good use.

4. Get a pet. Over time, he will become a real member of your family. In addition, animals are entirely dependent on people, they need to be fed, washed, walked, taken to the veterinarian. In general, you definitely won’t be able to live only for yourself.

5. Get rid of selfishness and greed - create a family and have children! To build good relationship you have to take little and give a lot, and this is the best solution to the problem.

6. Become a team member. Sign up for an amateur musical troupe, go hiking with your employees, become a member of the parent committee, take part in team competitions, try your hand at a joint project. A sense of collectivism and a common cause will force you to pacify your own "I".

7. Talk less about yourself. When meeting with friends or relatives, do not rush to dump your sorrows and sorrows on them. First ask how they feel and how they are doing.

8. In order not to be an egoist, learn to give first, and then receive.

If you begin to notice that you think too much about yourself, or someone called you a narcissistic egoist, then you need to learn to be more modest in your relationships with people around you. In this article, you will learn how to properly communicate with people and be more humble in everyday life.

Steps

Part 1

Start with small changes

Try to take part in some game in which you will definitely lose. If you find it hard to come to terms with the fact that someone is superior to you, then first of all learn to lose. You must realize that this is not the end of the world.

It seems to a narcissist that losing is tantamount to death. You have to participate in some small competition and lose it. Try to accept the loss with dignity.
Congratulate the winner, even if he is obviously bragging about his victory. Shake his hand, look into his eyes and say, "It was a good game."

Thank others for even small favors. If you are not used to expressing gratitude sincerely, then start doing it at least feignedly. If someone does you a favor, be sure to say "thank you". If you learn to notice the efforts of others and thank them for what they do for you, it will be easier for you to cope with your own selfishness and narcissism.
- Thank the driver as you exit the bus. In a restaurant, when the waiter serves you a glass of water, make eye contact and say thank you. Thank your mom when she gives you a ride to school. Learn to notice what you can be grateful for.
- Thank others, even if you think they could have put in more effort.
When talking to people, make eye contact with them. Whatever you're feeling, good eye contact is a great opportunity to show respect to the other person, even if you don't agree with what they're saying or aren't interested.
- Apart from eye contact you have to learn to listen. Nod your head to indicate that you are listening to your interlocutor. Summarize what has been said before answering something. Show your interlocutor that you are listening.
Listen when the person says something to you. If you look around the room with a bored look, listening to conversations, instead of carefully listening to a friend who is telling you something, then you are acting like a narcissistic egoist. When communicating with someone, you need to pay attention to this person, focusing on what he says. Learn to listen to what others have to say by discussing topics that interest them.
- Ask questions and show that you are really interested in what the other person is talking about. Follow the conversation and ask questions like: "What did you feel?" or "Well, what happened next?".
Read novels. Recently, scientists have found that people who enjoy reading fiction better empathize with others. Reading good books, you can learn to understand and consider other people's feelings. If you find yourself too focused on yourself, take this opportunity to change your personality for the better. To do this, just sign up for the library.
- Of course, after reading just one book, you will not be able to immediately eradicate selfishness in yourself. But the main thing is to start. Set a goal - to learn to put yourself in the place of another person.
Part 2
Become more communicative
1. Ask for help when you need it. People who are too self-centered often find it difficult to admit they are wrong and ask someone for help. You shouldn't learn from your mistakes. It is better to learn to admit that you do not know and know everything, asking for help from those who can and want to help you.
  - By asking for help from another person, you thereby acknowledge that he is superior to you in some way, that he knows or knows something better than you. However, there is nothing wrong with this. On the contrary, it's good.
2. Let others take responsibility. Are you used to having your opinion taken into account? The next time you're in a company, don't try to take the initiative right away, but let others express themselves.
  - If you decide to spend an evening with friends, does it really matter where you go for dinner? If there are five of you, then everyone can have own opinion but you can only go to one place. Just give in to someone else and don't insist on your own.
  - Of course, you need to be able to defend your opinion, but only if there is really a need for it. For example, if your opinion is constantly ignored, or if you are sure that your offer is the best option for everyone. To stop being selfish does not mean to become spineless.
3. Learn to be unambiguous. Much of what may seem selfish on someone's part often isn't. If you cannot always correctly understand what the person meant, then it is better to ask him again.
  - Don't look for ulterior motives in someone's words or actions. If mom asks if you want some salad, then she most likely does not try to hint at yours. excess weight. Although everything is possible, but because of such assumptions, you will only focus more on yourself.
  - Sometimes shyness is mistaken for narcissism or self-centeredness. Don't wait for someone to read your mind. If you have something to say or need help, don't be silent. Don't expect everyone to ask questions.
4. Don't turn the conversation into a competition. Narcissistic people most often choose their own person as the topic of conversation. Pay attention to whether you are trying to talk out the interlocutor or show off in a conversation at any cost. If so, then something needs to change. Don't wait until it's your turn to speak and don't try to mentally compose the next sentence to impress everyone. Just listen carefully to your interlocutor and answer his questions.
  - Do not necessarily try to "surpass" the interlocutor. If someone shared with you the joy of getting a used bike for your birthday, then you should not tell him that your father bought you a new car.
  Part 3
  Learn Humility
  1. Leave your comfort zone. If you are used to living in your inner world It's no wonder you feel too self-centered. Do not be afraid to try something new, unusual, try to do something that scares you. The more you learn, the easier it will be for you to show humility.
    - Even if you think you are good at something, be open to new knowledge. To continue self-development, do not be afraid to doubt common truths. Raise serious questions and seek answers to them.
    - find out better features other cultures. To do this, it is not necessary to go on a long journey abroad, you can get to know the people who live near you better.
  2. Find people who share your views, interests, tastes. Some may find it hard to accept that they are not one of a kind. Whatever your interests, there will always be people who like the same thing as you. Even if you like phonograph records with terrible sound quality or Italian horror movies. Find your like-minded people and communicate with them more often.
    - Discover a new religion and start going to church. This will help you think less about yourself.
    - Start going to a club. Find a computer club if you enjoy playing video games. Go to the gym if you like sports.
  3. Meet new people. If your environment is limited to a few people with whom you are comfortable spending time, then try to get to know someone else. This way you will get to know not only others better, but also yourself. You don't have to tell them that you were selfish.
    - Get to know people who are different from you better. If you work in an office, then talk to some worker, and if you live on a living wage, then talk to a well-paid company manager. Go bowling together. Get to know these people and find out how they live.
  4. Get to know the person you don't like. Learn to be tactful and kind to those people who get on your nerves. This will help you fight selfishness. If you feel like you think too much of yourself, make it a rule to be friendly with those you don't like, trying to change your attitude towards them.
    - Try to understand why people act a certain way. If your little sister repeats everything you do, stop blaming her for it. She probably does this because you are her role model. Let him do as he pleases.
  5. Try your hand as a volunteer. When you give without expecting anything in return, you are acting altruistically. To overcome selfishness, you can sign up as a volunteer in some volunteer or non-profit organization whose ideals you share. Search the Internet for volunteer organizations in your area.

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit!

Today's Sunday we call Forgiveness Sunday. On this day after evening worship in churches, a special rite of forgiveness is performed, when clergy and parishioners mutually ask each other for forgiveness. On this day, it is customary to ask for forgiveness from your neighbors, friends and acquaintances, even enemies, in order to enter Great Lent with a pure soul, having reconciled with each other.

We are moved to forgive each other by the words of today's Gospel reading: "For if you forgive people their sins, your Heavenly Father will forgive you, but if you do not forgive people their sins, then your Father will not forgive you your sins" (Matt. 6:14–15). God is at the center of these words. If we do not forgive people for their sins, we risk hearing terrible words from God on That Day: “I do not forgive you either! Get away from Me into outer darkness, where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth…” (see Matt. 13:50; 22:13).

The rite of forgiveness known to us today appeared in ancient Orthodox monasteries. in life Reverend Mary In Egypt, we see evidence of the Palestinian monastic tradition of the 5th-6th centuries. To strengthen the feat of prayer and prepare for the Easter holiday, on the last day before Great Lent, the monks went into the desert for a solitary life for 40 days. Some of them did not return back: someone died of old age, someone could suffer misfortunes in the harsh deserted desert. Therefore, dispersing, the hermits, as before death, asked each other for forgiveness for all voluntary or involuntary offenses. And, of course, they themselves forgave everyone from the bottom of their hearts. Everyone understood that their farewell to each other on the eve of Great Lent could be the last. For this reason, the rite of forgiveness that exists today appeared, in order to be reconciled with all people and, thanks to this, with God.

Why did the monks go to the desert to fast and pray? After all, you can fast and pray at home.

The answer to this question does not lie on the surface. Yes, restrictions on food and pleasures bring up in a person the ability to lead a temperate life, but this does not yet make a true Christian out of a person. Fasting and prayer are also practiced in other religions, and there are also secular healing practices for fasting treatment. In the center of the hermit life of the hermits lay another and very important goal. This is an experiential experience of being abandoned by God and an experiential following of the crucified Christ.

The most bitter cry of humanity is the words of Christ from the cross: “My God, My God! why did you leave me?" (Matthew 27:46). When a person has no relatives or friends, no friends or colleagues, he at least has hope in God. But when God also leaves, a person comes into a state of complete inconsolable loneliness. The closeness of God, His love is felt by the pure heart of a person, but if a person has sin in his heart, it means that there is no place for God. The feeling of inner emptiness, depression, despondency is a sign that there is sin in the heart. And if sin fills the whole heart, God-forsakenness will eventually come, the emptiness and cold of the abyss.

Knowing this, the ascetics of antiquity went into the desert in order, having renounced the vanity of the world, to meet one on one with themselves. Living in the world, a person is surrounded by fuss. He may not even feel the attacks of sin, it seems to him that the people around him are to blame for all the problems. But when he finds himself in the desert, he has no one to blame. One on one with himself, the ascetic begins to see himself from within, as if exposing his sin before him. Watching himself, the movement of the flesh and thoughts, the ascetic gradually begins to notice his passions. Experiencing hunger and cold, he understands that if he does not get rid of passions and does not seek God, the evil desert will become his eternal village. The soul abandoned by God after death inherits hell.

The ascetics of antiquity were profound theologians. For them, Great Lent was not only an exercise in fasting and prayer, but also in meditation on the works of God in human history, about the value of the crucifixion of Christ and the glorious Resurrection.

When Adam sinned, he was expelled from Paradise. From the land where milk and honey flowed, he was sent to the wilderness with thorns and thistles, to that wilderness in which Adam had to eat the grass of the field with sorrow, earning his bread in the sweat of his brow (see: Gen. 3: 17– nineteen). However, this did not enlighten the children of Adam. And when God sent Christ to earth, people crucified Him. The sons of Adam crucified the One who could save them from the captivity of sin and death. They crucified the source of light and eternal life. The man was alone again. But there is a way to return to God - to follow Christ into the wilderness, so that, rejecting the works of Satan, take up the cross and crucify your flesh with Christ.

So that “the sinful body was abolished, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin,” wrote the Apostle Paul, our flesh with passions and lusts, our old man must be crucified with Christ (see: Rom. 6: 5–7). Life in the desert, in cramped conditions and hardships, is the practice of such a crucifixion of passions and lusts, when a person ceases to please his flesh and frees the mind to contemplate Divine things.

If the feeling of loneliness, emptiness or despondency, in a family or in a monastery, are signs of God-forsakenness, then “love, joy, peace, long-suffering, goodness, mercy, faith, meekness, temperance” (Gal. 5: 22-23) are signs of communion with God, the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Ascetics of antiquity strove for these gifts, and not for fasting and prayer as an end in themselves, when they joyfully said goodbye to each other on Forgiveness Sunday, in order to gather together before Easter with even greater joy.

Why ask for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, if we are not going to go into the desert, like the monks of antiquity? If we don't feel like we've offended anyone in some way?

We need to ask for forgiveness from people for the fact that we do not truly love them. We are called to love each person, and instead we often communicate with other people only as much as the other person can be personally interesting or useful to us. We are only interested in our own person and those people who in this moment we are listened to or we are catered to. On Forgiveness Sunday, it is useful to feel what is the measure of our own selfishness.

From the point of view of philosophy, selfishness is selfishness, such behavior, which is entirely determined by the thought of one's own "I", one's own benefit, benefit, preference for one's own interests over the interests of other people. From the point of view of psychology, egoism is a manifestation of a person's interest in himself, focusing on his desires, inclinations, his own world.

Quite often egoists hide behind the commandment “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 19:19). But self-love and self-love are not only not identical, but also directly opposite. Selfishness is self-satisfaction, self-satisfaction, living for the satisfaction of one's desires. Self-love is respect for one's integrity, uniqueness of personality, reconciliation with one's shortcomings, knowledge of the features of the God-given character of one's soul. Self-love is inseparable from respect, love and understanding of another person as a no less unique image of God.

The Apostle Paul reduces all the commandments to one: “love your neighbor as yourself,” but here he introduces the preamble: “by love serve one another” (Gal. 5: 13, 14). A person who serves another with love, thereby shows that he loves himself. He who loves his brother, whom he sees, is capable of loving God, whom he does not see (see: 1 John 4:20). On the contrary, the egoist, the selfish loves neither God nor his brother, and even has no peace with himself.

The selfish, who became a great fasting and prayer book, did not gain anything for his soul. A proud faster is a vain simpleton who feeds his insatiable pride. On the contrary, the ascetic who crucified himself with Christ is meek as a lamb, ready to sacrifice himself for the sake of his neighbor and the hungry, he is ready to distribute half of his breakfast, lunch and dinner to the poor.

Asking forgiveness from other people this Sunday, let's, brothers and sisters, thereby declare war on our selfishness. We acknowledge our shortcomings before other people, look for knowledge about God in the Holy Scriptures and divine services, let us humble our flesh with fasting, water our souls with tears of repentance, so that, having cleansed ourselves in body and spirit, we will meet the Risen Christ.

We begin this journey by forgiving those who have offended us, and asking for forgiveness from those whom we have offended voluntarily or involuntarily. By asking for forgiveness, we must simplify, simplify our relationship with God and our neighbors. This is where the fight against selfishness begins, this is where our purification of the heart begins, this is where Great Lent begins.

May the Lord, through the prayers of all those who shone in the feat of fasting, give us the strength to reconcile with everyone and pass through Great Lent in the world to the Bright Pascha of Christ's Resurrection.

We propose to discuss key question our whole life and the meaning of why we were born here. How can we get rid of selfishness? We all have selfishness, which means that we want happiness for ourselves, and not to give others. Either we demand or serve and then demand. Selfishness brings only suffering. And everyone has this concept by default. If you change it to disinterestedness with the help of inner life, prayers, then happiness will come by itself, but it will no longer be the goal

How to get rid of selfishness in a relationship

According to all the sages and Holy Scriptures selfishness always leads to suffering. It may seem that this is not so, but it is true, it is only a matter of time. For example, close relationships are always the strongest egoism, everyone wants for himself, although outwardly he seems to be trying for you.

One way or another, you will have to part with death or earlier. And the stronger the attachment, which is also selfishness, the stronger will be the suffering and pain. It's the same with any feeling, pleasure, everything impermanent. The Vedas teach this, the Buddha taught this. Who said that everything temporary is suffering.

And here, in the material world, everything is temporary, but there is a way out - spiritual energy, prayer, God, holiness ... But in order to realize this, you need to very seriously cleanse first the body, then the heart. Our own filth and sin create the illusion of separateness and independence for us, the ego imposes petty personal, animal interests, but when you wake up and shake off all this filth from yourself, it becomes scary what we live in, what we do.

After all, there is a Creator, there are laws, and then we are surprised: where does illness come from, where does suffering come from, problems and blame someone else ... We don’t even know how to use our body, that’s why it almost doesn’t live anymore, clouded by chemistry, slag, separated from nature - the same thing is in our mind, the mind is generally turned off due to the use of alcohol, sex ..

The Orthodox holy fathers, in particular, for example, Sergius of Radonezh, generally speak in a simpler way - that all this life should be put in nothing. John Chrysostom compared it to a hotel, only to change corners, in cramped conditions here, and then further. And most often now people go there, which in Orthodoxy is called hell. And nothing surprising with such and such a life ..

We all have selfishness, which means that we want happiness for ourselves, and not to give others. Either we demand or serve and then demand. Selfishness brings only suffering and we will not interfere with the advice of a psychologist to get rid of it. And everyone has this concept by default. If it is changed to selflessness with the help of the inner life, prayer, then happiness will come by itself, but it will no longer be the goal.

Sin means living for yourself and your desires, which is the root of all suffering. Purity and real happiness is selflessness, if we do something for ourselves, there will be no happiness. To be selfless and unattached is possible only by having the highest goal- such a person will also receive material happiness, this is what John Chrysostom says, this is also what the Vedas say.

Happiness does not depend on activity, but on correct setting goals, if the goal is set correctly, that is, it is at least higher than ordinary material goals, enthusiasm and non-attachment to the material appear, which increases the likelihood of material success.

Because the more we think about the problem or are attached to something, the more suffering comes from there and the situation only worsens. And further interesting fact from the Vedas, concerning material happiness: as much as we receive from some object of happiness - the same amount of suffering we will receive from there.

This applies to absolutely everything in this world. Therefore, it is worth thinking about the most important thing, otherwise sooner or later you will have to feel the burden of an aimlessly lived life, and, according to the Vedas, this is the strongest suffering, because we are all here for a short time, but behave as if forever. Time does not spare anyone, punishes inevitably. The Buddha in the Dhammapada advises not to miss time, because the one who misses it indulges in sadness.

Listen to an excerpt from a lecture by a doctor, lecturer, specialist in Vedic culture, O. G. Torsunov on the topic of selfishness

Many of us love to be the center of attention, but sometimes this habit borders on selfishness. Some people enjoy being selfish and some don't, and it hinders relationships, careers, and self-development.

However, if you just ask yourself how to get rid of egoism, then the answer is unlikely to be found - this is not the easiest process, which involves a certain personal transformation. Fight it within yourself negative feeling It is possible if there is a desire and an opportunity to make some efforts for this.

How to understand if you have selfishness

I’ll make a reservation right away, this formulation is not entirely correct - egoism is present in each of us to one degree or another, this distinguishing feature healthy psyche. Another thing is that selfishness can take on an exaggerated form, and then it truly becomes a problem. It can be determined using the following observations:

how often do you do good deeds;
do you listen to other people;
Are you capable of putting someone else's interests ahead of your own?

If you start to analyze your own behavior, you can find a lot of interesting things. So, for example, people who are convinced of their own rightness spoil any relationship over time - they simply categorically cut off the interlocutor in mid-sentence and impose their opinion on him.

There can be very, very many manifestations of a selfish nature. Ask yourself some questions. For example:

One of the reasons for possible selfishness may be a lack of attention. Try to make sure that the amount of attention you get is enough for you personally. Otherwise, you will not be able to finally understand how to get rid of egoism - this problem will come back to you again and again.

Looking for reasons

Let's say you have symptoms selfish person, and now you want to overcome them, but you have absolutely no idea how to stop being an egoist. This is not done in a couple of hours - after all, killing a part of your ego is not so easy. And selfishness is nothing but an exorbitantly overgrown ego. And in order to overcome it, you need to understand in general the nature of its occurrence.

The ego is that part of the subconscious that is responsible for psychological safety and health. In other words, it in every possible way prevents some unpleasant decisions, changes and any changes.

Defeating your own ego means making life easier for yourself. The fact is that the ego leads us in the wrong direction - we begin to want not what we really need, but what seems simply attractive to us. In order to understand this for yourself, try to imagine the following picture - you did not have a bicycle as a child, you felt unhappy, and now you can buy it.

But the ego will convince you that an adult and a bicycle are not a very good combination, and all peers have long been changing foreign cars like gloves. Feel the difference? You want a bike, but the ego is talking about a car. And so in everything. Imagine how many problems with yourself can be avoided if you learn to curb the ego.

We find a solution

So, what needs to be done to pacify your ego and how to stop being an egoist?

See your own manifestations of selfishness.
Learn to be interested in other people.
Know how to put someone else's interests ahead of your own.
Learn to be generous.
Be responsive in relationships.

Seeing selfishness in yourself is not difficult - as soon as you say "I, me, mine" - this is selfishness. As soon as these words become more significant and often used, this is selfishness. Of course, we are not talking about spoken language- you can use these words in speech. But when one of them becomes a familiar answer to any question from the outside, this is an alarming bell.

Interest in others is very easy to develop in yourself - just try to look at the people you meet every day. Egoists often do not have enough breadth of view, and they often think that the people around them (including family and loved ones) are not as interesting as themselves. This is an erroneous opinion, any person can be interesting if you get to know him better.

The ability to exalt other people's interests comes by itself over the years, but if suddenly for some reason it has passed you, it makes sense to develop it in yourself. To do this, we learn unconditional service to others. It can be caring for younger or elderly relatives (of course, not for money or inheritance, but simply as a training and personal development), it can be volunteer work. Even if you set aside one day and completely devote it to your loved one, you will notice how something is changing for the better in a relationship.

Generosity in our time is similar to luxury, but it does not have to be about material generosity, although it is also necessary. Learn to be generous. Take part in charity fundraisers or marathons, try to give your heartfelt attention to those who need it. You will be surprised at how quickly you can transform.

Relations - essential part human life. How about your loved one? You need to learn to listen and be responsive to all the wishes and comments of your soulmate. You can always take care of yourself. Just do not think that a simple agreement in everything with your loved one will save you - it is important to start reacting, taking some steps, acting, then you can cure yourself of indifference and selfish antics.

Conclusion

If you set out to overcome your ego and learn to be a sympathetic, kind and generous person, then you have a long way to go. As you know, any road begins with the very first step - try today to defeat some petty selfish desire, and instead do something nice for your loved one or colleague. And you will see how something will change in you and in your relationship with the world.