Good habits: Don't gossip. Leave yourself reminders

Every person is created in the image and likeness of God and everyone is worthy to be loved. Judging others, we seem to proclaim: I am better, I know more, I am perfect and therefore I have the right to “weigh” the actions of others.

Human condemnation is sometimes extremely cruel. If the guilty person is sentenced, then he is an “outcast” in the eyes of the public.

Judgment and reasoning go hand in hand. The nature of a person is such that he just looked at his neighbor - you immediately make an assessment of his appearance, manner of speaking, etc. How to see the line, having crossed which we pronounce judgment on a similar person? If there is a bit of contempt in reasoning, this is no longer reasoning, but real condemnation, which is sin.

“Who among men knows what is in a man, except for the human spirit that lives in him?” 1 Corinthians 2:11
Why can't you condemn?

Judgment destroys the personality of the condemner. Anyone who makes an assessment of his neighbor himself provokes the same attitude towards himself from others.

How more people endures suffering, the higher it is spiritual level, the more compassionate he is towards others, trying to avoid judgment.

Judgment is a vice bad habit, indulging in which we spend time on "emptiness". Condemning, a person, as it were, tries on the actions of another on himself, while experiencing negative emotions which, apart from destruction, do not bring anything good.

Judgment is associated with other sins: envy, resentment, anger. Plunging into condemnation, we amuse our pride and vanity, experiencing pleasure from the fact that we are somehow better, more perfect (in our own eyes, certainly). It is very difficult to deal with condemnation, because its root lies in human pride.

What do we do if we are condemned?

When it turns out that someone is whispering behind our back, condemning words and deeds - the first reaction is to condemn the offender in response, to make his negative sides obvious.

But God doesn't treat us like that. His perfect example teaches: not to return evil for evil, but to win souls with love.

God says: "I do not want the death of the sinner, but that the sinner turn about his way and be alive." Jeremiah 33:11
How to get rid of condemnation

You can't get rid of what you don't acknowledge. Judgment is a sin, and the one who fears God, who does not want to upset Him, is able to see the presence of this vice in himself. How to get rid of judgment

He who has the skill to examine himself is able to notice the impulses of condemnation in his soul and get rid of sin through prayer and work on himself. Getting rid of condemnation, we simultaneously learn to see the image of God in our neighbor, we learn to condescend to the actions of others, fulfilling the commandment: love your neighbor as yourself. In doing so, first of all, we ourselves are enriched by receiving blessings from God.

The one who had the right to judge came into this world and suffered for our sins and iniquities.

Christ said, “Judge not, lest you be judged; for with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with what measure you mete, it will be measured to you.” Gospel of Matthew 7:1-2

No one but God can know the true motives of man. Therefore, no one but God can judge righteously. Only He knows what is in a person, knows his past, present and future.

By judging others, we put ourselves in the place of the Almighty. We, due to our sinful nature, are not able to judge impartially. Therefore, in order not to sin, condemnation should be avoided, i.e., abstain, beware, shun. The Creator teaches this.

If we peer into ourselves and try to see our inclinations, then we can easily notice that we have an already developed habit - condemnation.
Priests, confessing people, very rarely meet a person who could say: "I am alien to condemnation." It's nice to hear, but such a state is rather an exception ...

Judgment is a manifestation of our pride, which we assign to ourselves the opportunity to judge another person. Self-exaltation is characteristic of every person, it is deeply instilled in all of us. The feeling of complacency, self-worth always warms us from the inside: “He is so handsome, good, and I am even more beautiful and better!” - and immediately we feel warm at heart. Everything pleasant that we hear in our address pleases us, but just say something contrary to our opinion about ourselves ... oh, my brother! Some even become furious with such: “What did you tell me ?!” A sense of self-worth can be a strong incentive to achieve many heights, this is a powerful engine! But still, we know that he works on the energies of the flesh, the earth. And we know that Scripture says: “God opposes the proud”…

The feeling of self-love cannot be overcome, it is very strong. And if a person does not fight him, does not reject him from himself, then naturally he needs to judge others from the height of his conceit: “I am so high and perfect, but around me I don’t see perfection, therefore I have the right to reason and hang "labels" on others. And now people are trying to get together, talk, discuss how that one lives, like this one. And they themselves do not notice how they begin to condemn, at the same time they justify themselves: "I do not condemn, I reason." But in such reasoning there is always a tendency to depict a person in gloomy, dark colors.

So we begin to take upon ourselves what does not belong to us - judgment. And most of the time, we don't do it openly. For example, let's look at someone and think to ourselves: "Yeah, this person is of such and such a sort, is in such a mood." This is a slippery slope and an erroneous opinion!

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AT Holy Scripture There is a very profound expression: For which man knows what is in a man, except for the human spirit that lives in him? (1 Cor 2:11). And again: So no one knows God except (1 Corinthians 2:12). By this, the Lord immediately determines the depth that is characteristic of the individual. You can't really know a person! Even if you thoroughly examine his biography, there is still a lot of innermost in him that only he himself is able to experience and feel.

If there is no such depth in the approach to a person, then all our judgments are rather superficial. Therefore, the Lord directly says: Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not feel the beam in your eye? Or, how can you say to your brother: brother! let me take the speck out of your eye, when you yourself don't see the log in your eye? Hypocrite! First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see how to take the speck out of your brother's eye (Luke 6:41-42).

From the outside, we can imagine a person in any light, but truly, deeply know him is given only to himself - if, of course, he tests himself, if he wants to know himself, and not just as one of millions, but himself before the face of God. Because when we evaluate ourselves differently - in the face of other people or based on our own opinion - it seems to us: yes, we really are some kind of special, worthy, and certainly not criminals. As the Pharisee said, “I am not like other men. I keep the law of God, I fast, I give tithes. It naturally "splashes" out of us. And it shows that we do not have deep knowledge about ourselves.

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Judgment is a very serious sin. Knowledge, knowledge of a person about himself and about God - it seems to me that this is the source of non-judgment. It is given either by grace, or as a result of achievement, inner deed. And condemnation occurs because, on the one hand, we are not inclined to a deep knowledge of ourselves, and on the other hand, we have not reached the level of repentance.

Looking into yourself is the beginning of the spiritual process. Conscience gives a person knowledge about himself, and seeing himself, he sometimes even comes to hatred: “I hate myself like that! I don't like myself!" Yes, you have approached the knowledge of yourself, it is bitter, but this knowledge is perhaps the most important, the most essential in life. Because here is the starting point of repentance, the opportunity for the rebirth of your mind, qualitative change relationship to yourself and the whole world, and above all, to your Creator and Creator.

Why is it said that there is more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over a hundred righteous who have no need of repentance? Because it is difficult, but necessary, to come to this understanding: “It turns out that by my nature I am no different from others, my nature is from the old Adam, I am the same in nature as my brother.”

But we do not want to know ourselves, to examine ourselves with a searching eye, because this will require the next step - the search for an answer to the question: “Why is this so in me?” The carnal opposes the spiritual; this is the law of internal warfare. Therefore, people choose a more natural and seemingly simple way - to look around, to judge others, and not about themselves. They don't realize that it does them a lot of damage...

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Seeing the light, a person begins to understand that God does not condemn anyone. The Gospel of John directly states this: For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through him (John 3:16-17). Associated with the Messiah is the notion that He will be clothed royal authority and he will come to judge the nations, as one having judgment that is truly divine. But then suddenly it turns out that God did not come to judge us, but to save us! This mystery is really amazing, it is amazing for us! And if God does not judge us, then who can judge?

Therefore, condemnation is an erroneous attitude of our consciousness, an erroneous idea that we have power. And if God Himself refuses this power? Scripture says the Father gave judgment to the Son, and the Son says, "I did not come to judge you."

But at the same time, the Lord does not hide the fact that there will be a righteous Judgment, which, as Lermontov wrote, "is not accessible to the ringing of gold." God will reveal himself, and in this manifestation all creation will see itself as it is. Now the Lord is hiding Himself because of our infirmities, our imperfection, but when the full revelation of God comes, then there will be nothing to hide. The books of conscience will unfold, everything secret will be revealed, and a person will give an answer for his every word. And then the Lord says: Whoever rejects Me and does not receive My words has a judge for himself: the word that I have spoken, it will judge him at the last day (John 12:48). It shows that our idea of ​​the court as some kind of extraordinary, superpersonal, authoritative trial - as in our earthly courts, when a whole panel of judges gathers, considers huge volumes on the case and makes a decision - is not entirely correct. God doesn't decide. It gives freedom, always gives a person the opportunity to improve: depart from unhealthy norms that bring neither you nor people joy. Thus, a person is completely free to choose.

They say it's hard to fall under a human court, because people can be very cruel in their judgments, fundamentally cruel: they sentenced you - that's it, and try to change yourself in the eyes of the public! But God's judgment is merciful, because the Lord wants to justify a person: I do not want the death of the sinner, but that the sinner turn from his way and live (Ezekiel 33:11).

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It is difficult for us not to cross the line between condemnation of a person and condemnation of an act! But it is said: do not judge the personality of a person, do not judge him as the image and likeness of God. The Holy Spirit does not accept when we arrogate to ourselves the power to judge others harshly. Yes, let his bad, ugly act be worthy of condemnation, but you don’t judge the person himself as a person! He can correct himself tomorrow, go the way of repentance, become different - such an opportunity is not taken away from a person until the last breath. We do not know to the end either the Providence of God about him, or how dear he is to God - after all, Christ shed His blood for everyone, redeemed everyone and did not condemn anyone. Therefore, we simply do not have the right to judge ourselves!

Yes, Christ dispersed the merchants at the temple with a whip, but this is not a condemnation, but volitional action against lawlessness. Scripture says: Jealousy for your house consumes me (John 2:17). Similar examples and meet in our lives. When we see that someone's actions go beyond the spiritual and moral framework, that someone tells people a lot of evil, then, of course, we can react, call to order, and straighten up the person: “What are you doing? Come to your senses! See what that means in itself."

But such is our nature, distorted by sin, that negative emotions immediately ask to come out in any situation, without any reason: you just look at a person, and you already measure him, evaluate his external merits - but you have to stop yourself. Judge not, lest you be judged, for with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with what measure you measure, it will be measured to you (Mt 7:1-2) - these words of the Lord at any time, in any place should be a reminder to us. A lot of sobriety is needed here. And adherence to principles: “No, Lord, You are the One Judge, You are the One Lover of mankind, You do not want death for anyone and did not utter words of condemnation even over the most terrible sinners. Even being crucified, You prayed: “Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing.”

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I remember I had such a parishioner, from the common people, who said: “Father, God will have mercy on everyone, forgive everyone, I believe that everyone will be saved!” She, out of the kindness of her heart, did not want to judge anyone and believed that all people have something good to learn from. Such an attitude is achieved by sobriety of the mind, when the soul is saturated with true examples, the Gospel. Yes, and anyone who prays every day, reads Scripture - a special attitude, a special mood! Those who have felt the grace feel God's love for everyone, therefore they do not want to accept any malicious attacks or caustic feelings towards others.

We Christians have a tough example of people of high spirituality in this respect. They loved everyone, pitied, did not condemn anyone, and even vice versa: the weaker a person, the more visible flaws, the more attention and love the saints showed to such people; they appreciated them very much, because they saw that the truth would reach them, because they were prepared for this by their very hard life. And pride, on the contrary, will always find terrible judgments that are ready to depersonalize any person.

“Everyone is bad and everything is bad!” - this is the spirit of pride, the demonic spirit, this is the narrowing of our heart. It sets in motion such mechanics from which people themselves suffer. Any condemnation is the introduction of some kind of darkness into oneself. In the Gospel of John the Theologian there are such words: He who believes in Him is not judged, and the unbeliever is already condemned, because he did not believe in the name of the Only Begotten Son of God. The judgment is that light has come into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, because their deeds were evil (John 3:18-19). By condemning, a person violates spiritual law life in God and immediately receives a notice that he has sinned grievously. How many times has this happened: someone prayed, asked God for mercy, forgiveness, and the Lord gave him - and the person left the service renewed! But he met someone on the way from the temple, and the condemnation went: and you are so-and-so, and he is just such. All. He lost everything he had just gained! And many holy fathers say: just looked askance at someone, accepted a bad thought about a person - immediately grace leaves you. She does not tolerate condemnation, which is completely opposite to the spirit of the gospel.

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How to deal with condemnation? First, I have this advice: if you have sinned in thought, immediately repent mentally. He thought something bad about his relative, about his friend, caught himself on this: “What kind of thoughts? Why am I like this? Lord, forgive me for this momentary manifestation! I do not want it".

Second: when an inner feeling prompts you to give negative evaluation to someone, you immediately turn to yourself: are you free from this shortcoming? Or do you know nothing about yourself, for which you could be reproached? And - you will feel that you are the same as the one you are ready to condemn!

In ancient times there was still such a "golden" rule. When you struggle with a feeling of indignation and you can’t understand why this person did this, then put yourself in his position, in his place, and this person in yours. And immediately you will become much clearer! This is very sobering. Here I stood in the position of another: “My God, how many difficulties he has in life! There are difficulties in the family, there is no understanding with the wife, with children ... Indeed, it’s difficult for him, the poor one!

The Holy Fathers have another rule. Do you want to judge someone? And put Christ in your place. Will the Lord judge? But even when He was crucified, Christ did not condemn anyone, on the contrary, He suffered for everyone. So why did I suddenly imagine myself above God, put myself as a judge?

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Judgment can be avoided in any case. Because a person is designed in such a way that he can always protect the personality of another, not put a stigma on him, but immediately go through reasoning: “I know how wonderful he is, how many difficulties he had, and he endured everything.”

Judgment is a heart that's misaligned. So I meet a man, and instead of joy, I have thoughts: “Aha, he’s coming with a cigarette again” or “He’s tipsy again, so-and-so.” There are no good motivations that should be. On the way there is a temptation to condemn - you can't get anywhere! But before the stream of judgmental thoughts pours out, I must first put myself in my place and give place to prudence.

I like the saying of a contemporary Greek ascetic, monk Paisios the Holy Mountaineer: Modern man should be a “factory of good thoughts”. You have to be ready to accept and understand a person’s personality: yes, it’s hard for him, he got into difficult circumstances, his life broke him, but still there is something good, whole in him, something that makes it possible not to exclude him from among decent, good people. The internal development of such good thoughts, the acceptance of any person, in any capacity, no matter how he looks and behaves - as a protective environment, it will not allow the heart to accept the evil, destructive area of ​​\u200b\u200bman. But you are destroying your neighbor in your soul when you give him a bad characterization.

The man himself is wonderful! As one ascetic said, if we knew how beautiful the human soul is, we would be surprised and would not condemn anyone. Because the human soul is truly magnificent. But it will open up - as it always happens in all our fairy tales - at the last moment ...

arch. Georgy Breev

Estimates and judgments about the world around us are an integral part of human consciousness. Without critical appraisal reality is impossible to survive. But consciousness does not regret stopping only at the most important things- it continues to work constantly, evaluates everything around, and condemns. This happens around us all the time. TV announcers indignantly talk about intrigues capitalist countries. Evil gossip oozes thick streams through the corridors of organizations. And even the sweetest well-mannered person, no, no, but scold someone with unexpected passion.

Judgment is natural and even fun, it is an inevitable part of life, both private and public. Everything is fine and safe as long as you keep a sense of proportion, but if he let you down, problems begin.

The first is expressed by a peculiar aura of alienation. People around are cool about people with an overabundance of negativity and criticism in behavior, even if gloomy manifestations do not affect them directly. Bad mood transmitted - they will want to move away from the source. Your negative comments will inevitably lead to more quarrels and permanent damage to all existing relationships. The craving for condemnation, if you meet people with similar inclinations, will lead to the formation of a “circle of gossips”. Nobody loves them.

The second is much more serious, because it will settle in your head. Excessive craving for judgment both feeds the dark corners of your consciousness, and itself is reinforced by them. Fear, envy, hatred, force their carriers to condemn. will form vicious circle, forever hungry for new bursts of negativity and destroying the life of its "carrier". In addition, you risk your health - you can.

Found something familiar? Take countermeasures.

Cosmetic behavior repair

The brains of most people are not saturated with such a black darkness of evil. It's just that their tongues willfully express a lot of superfluous things. Are you one of them? Luck is on your side, the case is not at all difficult.

You need to practice only one thing - keeping the treacherous tongue in conclusion. First, practice in the easiest situations that irritate you the least. Try not to say anything negative and avoid other signs of resentment (sighs, glances, characteristic facial expressions, unfriendly manipulations with objects). Mentally calm yourself, forgive others for minor misconduct (give them a chance!), Do not get angry at things that are not in your power to change. When the little things stop annoying you, learn to maintain balance in more serious cases. Gradually, without breaking your “vow of silence”, you will begin to wean (exactly!) From addiction.

Absolutely unbearable? It happens. In such cases, try to speak subtly, gracefully, replace the ramming clot of negativity with irony, sarcasm, or, if it fits into your image, black humor. It is possible that while you are thinking, the thought, not finding a worthy outlet, will die.

Do not forget to follow not only the speech, but also the text. It is unlikely that you will achieve a result if in life you will be silent in the sweetest way, and in your beloved social network terrorize acquaintances with terrible messages and comments.

Such self-medication will not make you a saint, but the ability to control yourself is an extremely valuable skill, useful for life.

Work to be done

Did you find running problems in yourself? Do not despair. Willpower will allow you to change in better side. But don't expect anything easy.

You will need to not only carefully follow the instructions from Behavior Redecoration, but also go further.

Think well. Find in the bowels of your consciousness the source of the misfortune that corrodes you. Dig into the darkest corners of your past. Ruthlessly sort through your unfulfilled dreams, unhealed grievances and all the things that heavily shocked you. Most likely, the reason for your bad, critical mood lies somewhere there.

Leave the sadness of the past penetrating eye. Wanted to be a basketball player, but grew only to one and a half meters? No problem! But it is easier for you to choose clothes and fit in narrow spaces. Too little money? Everyone has a chance. People find suitcases with currency in landfills! Are all the princes somehow mediocre and completely without horses? Apparently, the most luxurious one was delayed somewhere, but will arrive soon. In other words, give the gloom lurking inside a fierce fight.

Then look for successes in your life (big, small or even future - it doesn’t matter) and in every possible way set yourself up to increase self-esteem. Do something for which you will receive the praise of your own subconscious and, most importantly, those around you. And the more good and necessary you feel yourself, the less you will want to judge. The need will disappear.

A black cloud that does not give you sweet life, lurking in the future? Are you tormented by the ghost of old age? The emery thought that career finished before it even started? The coming end of school and the failure of uncertainty further? Other equally bitter truths on the horizon? Come up with something. Comforting. Or boldly act, clearing the garbage blockages of fate on the way to a better tomorrow. By condemning the living and the inanimate within a radius of 100 kilometers, you definitely won’t help yourself.

Ironically, for some people, the problem is not low, but too inflated self-esteem. If you are one of these heroes, try to tame your pride by comforting it with sweet thoughts. It is not necessary to take off the royal crown at all! You just might become good king(queen) and not scold the unreasonable smerds, but show them indulgent mercy, warm them in the radioactive rays of your greatness.

Finally, take a look at your social circle. It is possible that those around you have a detrimental effect on you, drawing you into gossip, thereby encouraging the most dark sides your consciousness. Try to spend less time with them, and if this is not possible, reconsider the format of behavior with such people. Naturally, by force of will you need to stop and generate gossip yourself, even harmless ones.

Working on yourself can take a long time. The nut in front of you is hard.

Hike to a psychologist

Are you absolutely convinced that you cannot heal yourself? Go to a psychologist. These ubiquitous plumbers of the psychic realm are, of course, well aware of such a problem as "obsessive pathological craving for judgment." They will gladly try to help you, you just need to make an appointment.

What is waiting for you? To one degree or another, they will explain to you in an accessible and convincing way (depending on the chosen specialist) how much your negative view of reality poisons your own existence and leads to a dead end. And this will be the absolute truth, which, however, is difficult to understand and apply on your own. Having determined the degree (sad shades) of your problems, the psychologist will offer you a path, a “course of treatment”. And here you must understand the main thing - you will be offered an opportunity, not a pill. But it will still be yours inner work, an effort. There is no magic in the offices of psychologists.

There will be no harm from communicating with a psychologist (unless financial expenses), and the benefits are quite possible. In addition, such an adventure is always curious, you learn a lot about yourself.

Religion and mysterious practices

Religion has been the main spiritual food and medicine of mankind for thousands of years, and its ministers easily replaced psychologists.

Christianity, Islam, Judaism clearly warn believers against condemning their neighbors. Only the Almighty has the right to this, and a mortal, illegally appropriating it, brings himself a lot of trouble, preventing the creation of righteous relations with others and with God. You can delve into reading spiritual literature or contact a priest for the answers and clarifications you need. Unfortunately, most modern people not so strong in faith. But if you are a happy exception, she will definitely help you.

World religions do not give you an answer? Earth full of other ways to achieve spiritual heights. Mystical and mysterious. For example, you can do yoga - according to the adepts, it brings perfection not only to the body, but to the mind. Having reached enlightenment, you are guaranteed to get rid of such a petty, vain thing as the need to discuss someone.

The main thing in spiritual searches is not to get on the slippery path, where Siberian witches, psychics, and even worse, sectarians will lie in wait for you.

Final summary

Living in a modern, evil world, it is difficult not to snap at reality, not to give a blind surrender to reality, tormented by endless problems. But if you feel that such bouts of negativity in your life are happening more and more often, and you are less and less in control of them, turning into a vicious necessity, beat inner anxiety, fight.

At stake is good weather in your soul and how others will see you.

The month of Ramadan is not only abstaining from food and drink, but also from everything sinful. One of the most common sins committed by people is slander (geybat). Allah compared this addiction to eating the meat of his dead brother. Why this particular comparison? Yes, because the person you are discussing behind his back is not able to protect himself from bad words. Thus, he is likened to a dead person who is no longer able to protect his body. We have compiled some effective ideas to help you get rid of this addiction.

“O you who believe! Avoid many assumptions, for some assumptions are sinful. Do not follow each other and do not gossip behind each other's backs. Would any of you like to eat the meat of your dead brother if you feel disgusted by it? Fear Allah! Verily, Allah is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful” (Quran 49:12).

1) Recently, during a conversation, the husband recalled a statement by Leo Tolstoy, which said the following: “The wise ones discuss ideas, the smart ones discuss events, and the stupid ones discuss people.” Now, every time my tongue itches to say something about someone, I think to myself: “Am I really that stupid to talk about people?”, “Is there really nothing else for me to talk about with my husband, with my mother, with a sister, with a friend? And then I begin to remember something interesting and informative that happened to me or to drip in my head in search of ideas.

2) Run your words through three sieves.

Remember the story in which a man comes to Socrates to tell him what his friend supposedly thinks of him? Before allowing this person to speak, Socrates asked him to pass his words through three sieves: a sieve of truth (are you sure that what you want to say is true?), a sieve of kindness (do you want to say something good about a person) , a sieve of benefit (is it necessary for others to hear what you want to say).

3) Would you like the person you are talking about to hear you?

We must always remember that we are never alone. Allah is always and everywhere with us. Not even the slightest sin can be hidden from him. Every time you want to gossip about someone, remember that Allah hears you, because He is closer to you than your cervical artery.

4) If you find yourself in a company where someone is being discussed, try to say something nice about this person. If you have nothing to say, then try to change the subject of the conversation. If your attempt is unsuccessful, just walk away.

6) Remember Judgment Day

Remember that on the Day of Judgment the good deeds of a person who gossiped during his lifetime will be taken away from him and given to his victims, and when his good deeds are over, the sins of those people about whom he gossiped will be taken and hung on him. And all this on that Great Day, when a person will need every, even the smallest, good deed. Do you really have so many good deeds that you are ready to scatter them right and left?

7) Try to talk to this person

Sometimes, instead of pouring out your soul to everyone you meet, you should find a solution to the root cause of the problem. This may require a personal conversation with the person you are gossiping about. This will help you solve the problem and promote healthier and trusting relationship with him. If a conversation with a person does not work out, then you will understand for yourself that you should no longer contact him.

8) Remember that before Allah we love the one who defends the honor of his brother, and does not lower him before others.

One of the hadiths says that if a person defends the honor of his Muslim brother, then Allah will protect him from the Hellfire on the Day of Judgment (Imams Ahmad and At-Tirmidhi). And who is a better protector than Allah himself?

We all know very well that gossip is a great sin and we should not engage in it. But in reality, it turns out that we do it subconsciously, not realizing where the boundaries begin.

What is gossip and where does it start? The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “(Gossip) is what you say behind your brother’s back from what he does not like.”

One of the companions asked: “And if what I say about him is true?” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) replied: “If what you say about him is present in him, then it is a gheeba, and if it is not in it, then it is slander.”

Spreading gossip about people is like destroying a person behind their back. The Quran says: “O you who believe! Avoid many assumptions, for some assumptions are sinful. Do not follow each other and do not gossip behind each other's backs. Would any of you like to eat the meat of your dead brother if you feel disgusted by it? Fear Allah! Verily, Allah is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful” (Quran 49:12).

Many justify gossip by saying that what they say is true. When a person constantly justifies himself in this way, he continues to spread rumors about others. Even if a person knows something bad about another, it is not appropriate for a Muslim to aggravate the situation and spoil his reputation. A true Muslim will pray to the Almighty for a person whom he considers to have stumbled.

Don't forget the pernicious sin of gossiping, these tips will help you avoid it in your life:

Finally, put yourself in the place of the person being gossiped about. You don't know everything, you don't know why he did it, maybe he had reasons for it, and you condemn him so easily. How would you feel if you knew you were being judged behind your back?