word meanings worry in explanatory dictionaries of the Russian language:

Dictionary Ozhegov.

worry

- see survive
***
2. - to worry, to worry about something, to suffer because of something
Example: He quarreled with his wife, now he is worried.

Efremova T.F. Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language.

worry

nesov. transition and indefinitely.
1) a) transition. Live longer than someone., stay alive after smb. of death.
b) to be, to be, to last longer than smth.
c) trans. Continue to retain its meaning after the death of the author, creator, or
after creation, appearance (about deeds, works, works, etc.).
2) a) transition. To live, to exist in some time to endure - usually
heavy - events, phenomena of the surrounding life.
b) trans. endure some. internal development processes.
3) trans. Experience some. feeling - excitement, anxiety, etc. - due
with smth., responding to smth.
4) trans. transition Find the strength to endure smth.; withstand.
5) a) trans. transition Deeply imbued with what arises in the mind, in
imagination.
b) To be imbued with the feelings and thoughts of the depicted character.
c) Concentrate thoughts, feelings on smth.
6) transition. Live, exist. term, time.

S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language.

After a series of loves and partings, I realized: men come and go. I have come to terms with this fact. When a relationship doesn't go the way you want, I don't take it to heart. I have learned to adjust my expectations. When a relationship falls apart or a man rejects me, I don't blame myself.

I still believe in love - I will always believe in it. But in my eyes it has lost its magic. I began to treat love more realistically. When another relationship breaks up or a man turns out to be not what I expected, I don’t go crazy with grief.

My heart warns me - do not place too much hope, prepare for the worst. Even before starting a relationship with a man, I think about the consequences of breaking up with him. Before falling in love, I mentally prepare for suffering. In every acquaintance I see the inevitable parting. Potential love scares you with the pain it can cause.

I'm tired of traveling a thousand kilometers for people who are not ready to take at least a few steps towards me.

I stopped being a dreamy young girl who blindly followed her feelings and wanted more than anything to love and be loved. Now I do not open my heart to people who will then tear it to pieces.

I'm tired of traveling a thousand kilometers for people who are not ready to take at least a few steps towards me. I got older and wiser. Now I understand that romantic relationship not the most important thing in life. I would rather spend my energy and time on something more practical and real - for example, work. It brings a return commensurate with the investment. I will invest in myself and my development, instead of placing hope in another person, I will spend time with loved ones. There is no point in worrying about those who will not stay long in my life.

I need a real stable relationship, not just passion and physical attraction that quickly evaporates

I need pragmatic love that makes sense. I do not need feelings that drive you crazy and make you do stupid things. It's no longer fun to chase love and fight for a happy ending that only exists in my imagination. I prefer to live by my own rules and not wait for someone to change their attitude towards me, I don’t want to waste time and energy on people who are unworthy of me.

I dream of a stable and comfortable future. I want to be the meaning of life for my man. I want natural love that doesn't have to be desperately fought for. I finally realized that I deserve more. And you deserve it too. You deserve all the love in this world, don't chase after it.

To find love, forget it

In order to meet love, you need to learn how to switch, advises clinical psychologist Veronica Kazantsev.

When we want something badly, we create excess tension around the desire. We constantly think about it, make superhuman efforts to achieve what we want. In the case of love, we are looking for our only one, we are looking at men, we are evaluating potential partners.

Such tension prevents you from enjoying life and paying attention to pleasant events. It also repels men - in dealing with them, we become tense, overly demanding or overly interested. Men are intimidated and intimidated. Often love comes when the brain "turns off". We begin to communicate naturally - we enjoy interacting with another person and do not expect anything in return.

Do not get hung up on finding a potential partner. It's better to shift the focus, but it's important to do it right.

If you switch to work with frantic zeal, the effect will be the opposite. You won't have the time or energy to personal life. Others will decide that you are only interested in work. Better do something interesting. Choose a hobby that will help you meet men: a shooting club, a climbing wall, or couple dancing.

But meeting your hero is not the main goal. Most importantly, you need to gain experience with different men. When a woman has little such experience, she thinks out a lot about men herself. A woman transfers her projections to a potential partner and rejects him, without having time to really get to know the person. Meet, flirt with men - having had enough of such communication, you will feel confident. Then you can see the man for who he is and make the right choice.

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In this article, I will talk about why it makes no sense to worry and worry about anything, as well as how to get rid of this problem. Moreover, you will find out why people generally worry and do not even imagine how you can live differently. Let's start with this.

Why do people worry and worry?

From childhood, the child is accustomed to watching how his mother is constantly nervous when something happens in the house. Detained her wages Mom is all over the place. Snot flowed from the child - that's it: guard, you need to go to the hospital!

A drunken husband came home - be sure to worry all day tomorrow that the spouse can again come drunk.

I think there is no need to continue: the child observes many situations where his parents or grandmothers are constantly worried. This is what happens every day. And since all children copy the actions (not words!) of their parents, when they grow up, they will also worry and worry.

And let's imagine the following picture: a relative, a grandfather, died in the family. All its members are saddened, but not to the extreme. The child hears his parents say “Yes, it’s sad, but everything happens in life, now you can’t return anything, so we will continue to live.”

You may think this behavior of parents is completely absurd. However, it will be very correct: you cannot return your grandfather, and there is no point in being nervous and sad every day.

You just need to admit daily that your relative may die and not take him for an immortal. And you certainly shouldn't worry.

How to stop worrying?

But, alas, 95% of people are used to worrying about all sorts of nonsense. And if you judge like that, everything around is nonsense, because if today the loss of a large amount is a big loss for you, then in a year you will forget about it a long time ago and will be able to earn a larger amount.

But let me give you specific techniques on what you need to do to stop worrying and worrying.

And as an example, we will take exactly this situation - the loss of money. Suppose you have lost a fairly substantial amount - ten thousand rubles. Surely you will say that in this case you will automatically go into tension, depression, and you will be right. What can be done here? First, ask yourself - what can you do to get back the missing amount?

For example, you can remember where exactly you lost money and try to find it. Then you can post a loss of money ad: there may be conscientious people who want to help you.

For a certain percentage of course. Think over every little thing, what exactly you can do in this situation! And then… just forget about this incident.

Surely you will say that unnecessary and sad thoughts will automatically visit you. For example, “How is it, I lost so much money, well, I’m clumsy, how can I buy myself (a thing) and pay my debts ...”.

These are destructive thoughts. Your task is to remove them so that they do not interfere with you. And this is done as follows:

You take out a pen and notebook, and then write the following: “I did my best, and now there is no point in worrying about it. Yes, I used to worry, but this is bad habit, which only spoils my nerves and energy.

So I choose not to worry and think about more serious things. For example – how to earn this money again and continue to be more attentive”? Everything - you wrote it down.

And now every time you are "covered" unnecessary thoughts- re-write the above text. Do this until the thoughts stop visiting you. This usually takes up to two to three weeks.

But trust me, it's worth it! Because from now on, you will no longer worry about a similar problem if it arises in the future. Do this with every problem situation, and in about a year or two, not a single situation will be able to piss you off.

I will tell you a secret - competent and qualified psychologists work in this way. And with the successful results of their clients. Take an example from them, and your life will become more complete, and your health will be much stronger than it was.

And remember: there is simply no point in worries and worries!

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Details on how to deal with emotional experiences. Practice

What are emotional experiences and how to live without unnecessary experiences.

Greetings friends! Today we will learn how to react correctly and cope with our experiences. How can you deal with the experience?

Often, in order to cope with something, you first need to stop fighting. Internal struggle creates additional stress and tension in the body and in some cases, in certain conditions a person, for example, with severe mental exhaustion - the struggle itself will not only not give a result, but will only worsen the situation.

There is one wonderful saying - "If you meet a steep mountain on your way and you cannot successfully climb to the top, it is better to bypass this mountain."

There are several real and very effective ways"struggle" with feelings.

The first, as I already described in the article "", is about how to relieve tension and deal with. Read more about this in the above article by clicking on the link.

And now about natural way, very effective, which we must always apply in life, in fact we need to live it. Many initially do it intuitively and therefore they do not have many psychological problems.

This method not only allows you to cope with the experience and internal unpleasant sensation, but also leave it in the past. forever and ever. But for it to work, you need to feel it, feel it very deeply inside yourself with all the accompanying sensations.

That is, keep in mind we are talking not about mental experiences, when you think, wind yourself up and it only gets worse, we are talking about a calm, “thoughtless” experience of this very sensation that you internally feel if you feel bad. We do not run away from this feeling and do not try to get rid of it in every way, and therefore there is no internal struggle, and the sensation itself is much faster and without big consequences leaves.

And now let's analyze something, we will understand for ourselves what such an experience is in itself.

Experience is our natural state, we live with these experiences. Good or bad if we find ourselves in a difficult life situation.

Plus, there is a real experience that is associated with real events and there is something that worries us very often, but is not our natural experience. These are just mental (mental) experiences that are far-fetched by us (our brain), which are overwhelmingly caused by anxiety (fear), doubts.

And these experiences almost never become reality - they are only in our head. These are either our exaggerations (catastrophization of events and facts), or fiction (distortion, a glitch in thinking), or the consequences of a struggle with a real experience, far-fetched ideas that arose during this is thoughts, suggestions, etc.

A simple example- mom is worried that the child does not return home for a long time - this is the most not to eat natural experience , there is no point in fighting with such an experience and getting rid of it somehow, because it is justified. And agree that we will worry until our child returns.

But if a woman constantly thinks about it, often frightens herself with some kind of thoughts, begins to wind herself up, finish building, think out and think up all sorts of alleged and most terrible troubles and imagine God knows what’s in her head, this is no longer a real experience, it’s far-fetched and repeatedly, heightened experience that can result in obsession, anxiety disorder, or even PA ().

Moreover, such thinking not only harms health and the psyche in particular, and deprives a person of normal, quiet life, but not effective in its essence because it does not help a person to gather himself internally and act most effectively and sensibly.

In general, it is completely normal to experience anxiety and fears in our life from time to time and natural experiences cannot be fought because they correspond real situation , some kind real threat. And the main thing is that we are not enslaved precisely by the irrational, far-fetched thinking fears and experiences.

In 99.9% of cases, that nothing terrible will happen in the described example with a child, but the woman nevertheless wound herself up and such strong feeling can automatically (reflexively) arise later, every time, in some similar situation. Do we need such serious, constant experiences that would still not solve the problems and everything, would hardly make it possible to act more logically deliberately and correctly?

And sometimes, in general, there is a slight experience about some kind of unpleasant situation, but the person immediately tries to get rid of the unpleasant feeling and throw everything out of his head, but it doesn’t always work out, and then he starts looking for a solution, allows his imagination to play out, begins to scroll through this situation in his head and then can't stop.

I thought up, wound up and exhausted myself even more instead of what would let worry to his body that natural experiencing state, but without extra thoughts and emotions, which would gradually leave him without heavy psychological consequences, all you had to do was wait.

The sun brings life, but so does the rain. Agree, it is logical to arrive in various states - to rejoice, to be sad, to have fun, to be sad, etc. It is important, if this is already happening, then let it go naturally, without your attempts to quickly get rid of something and invent something, so that by all means, right now you feel better. If there are grounds for a certain feeling, then it is so, and this must be accepted as a reality and live (experience) naturally.

Mainly, these far-fetched, mentally hyped and inflated in the head, emotional experiences and artificial struggle with any of their experiences, are main problem person. This is what worries us for the most part, and not our pure(real) experience that arose in the corresponding situation.

How to separate the natural and how to deal with experiences in general?

It is generally pointless to fight with a real experience, because it fits the situation and just generates a resource for us, for some necessary actions. But often we direct this resource not to actions, but to thoughts and struggle with the natural experience itself. We simply wind ourselves up even more.

Why does this happen, because people perceive their inner experiences as something bad. And above all, it is OUR MIND itself that does it.

An experience arises and a person begins to actively fight with it. Fight because his brain tells him that this is bad, this is unpleasant, something needs to be done about it and it needs to be got rid of as soon as possible. And having got rid of it, calm down and begin to experience pleasant sensations again.

When a person enters into a struggle with this experience, with this state, trying to calm himself or completely forget about it, then internal conflict . And very often the opposite happens - the experience is even more intensifies.

You yourself can remember how, while struggling with some kind of experience or idea that haunts you and because of which you are often nervous, you were looking for a way out, a solution and excited yourself so much that you could not sleep afterwards. There were even somatic disorders, increased heart rate, discomfort in the head, sweating, possibly trembling in the body and insomnia. Such a struggle can lead to if you do not stop in time.

Now we figured out that by nature,experiences are different, Real and Contrived (wrong), now what to do.

I will say right away that natural experiences will not go away, they will only be cleansed, and this will allow you to look at things more soberly and, plus everything, will teach you not to fight this real experience, but to accept it, chew it, and use it for action, with a cooler head.

Also, those experiences that are caused by some serious organic or psychological illness. They will not go away so easily, because they are natural in this situation, but even then it is not a fact that they will not disappear after the exercise.

This exercise is just trying to chew. It will allow you to get rid of all the far-fetched, wrong or, twisted by you, experiences. The experiences that more and they do not give you peace and do not allow you to open up to the experience that should arise in you from the past.

To get started you need turn our minds off, in this case he is our enemy. You need to be friends with thoughts, because sound thoughts are our faithful helpers and friends, but in this case, it happens that the brain sends a command and tells us that we need to immediately do something with this experience, that is, fight it, get rid of it in order to it got easier and conflict.

We must turn off our mind and leave this experience to ourselves, accept it and see what happens. That is, only the very thing will remain with us, pure experience.

How to do it- Close your eyes and just allow your body to feel, allow it to experience. When this occurs, either some images in the head (maybe completely incomprehensible), or some kind of physical sensations in the body. For example, pulsation in the arm or vibration in the leg. And you need to keep an eye on this feeling.

It is important not to analyze with the brain, because it does not need all this and resistance can be created. Everything must happen naturally. And to bring this observation to the end. Until the image, changing, disappears completely, or the sensation that has arisen disappears. In this way, one can get rid of forever, even from an outdated, inspired experience.

And there is no need to give this experience any evaluation or compare it with other experiences that you once had, it is important to feel and stay with this experience that you have now.

In fact, this is just an experience, the very unpleasant, strongest experience from which we suffer. created our mind.

Very often, in life it happens like this, what have you experienced difficult situation and having experienced strong feeling, itself, a natural experience leaves, and instead of it, those thoughts, those sensations and emotions remain, which subsequently continue to disturb us, causing emotional experiences, not even in the appropriate environment for them.

And for a person it is simply necessary to get rid of such unreasonable experiences, first of all, in order to correctly respond to a real (natural) experience in the future. And what is no less important is to learn not to avoid unpleasant sensations, disturbing, exciting life situations in which we often need to enter. Do not be afraid of them and thereby remain calm and, heavy thoughts and inner feelings.

One time may not be enough for some particular emotional experience to disappear once and for all. Just repeat the exercise several (3-5) times, usually this is enough. But remember that you need to bring the observation of an image or sensation to the very end, sometimes it may take only a few seconds, sometimes a few minutes.

There are people who get sick different fears, with some ideas, they try to fight them, they try to run away from their experience (fear), they try not to meet with it, thereby only strengthening this fear from the inside, but you just had to start experiencing it, allow yourself to survive it to the end, even though it’s it is sometimes very annoying. The experienced experience is lived (disappears)

It is very good to use such a natural (natural) behavioral exercise with those experiences in which situations you do not act quite correctly, constantly experience stress, unconscious anxiety, obsessions and do not react adequately. It will help to get rid of everything superfluous, far-fetched and interfering with understanding this very unpleasant feeling that has arisen.

Start the exercises first with small emotional experiences and unpleasant situations and, subsequently, move on to stronger ones.

And finally . X Hotel would like to introduce you to a wonderful tool that I am sure will be useful to you. Good luck!

Here are some tips on how to stay positive no matter what.

learn from them

Most negative situations are experiences. Of course, we don't think about it at the time. But if you dare to go through the pain and discomfort, no matter what, you will get a unique opportunity to learn something and gain a treasured experience. Try to make the most of the situation and try not to let it happen again.

Find Support

You don't have to try to do it on your own. By getting support from your close friends or family, you will not only get out of the situation, but also strengthen your relationships with these people.

Focus on what you can fix (and let go of what you can't)

We cannot control everything. And everyone. But what we can do is focus our attention on what can be fixed. If you are in a negative situation, then trying to control what you cannot control will only make things worse for you.

For example, if you need to fly to a meeting and the plane is delayed, there is no point in worrying about whether the flight will be sent or will be canceled altogether. It's out of your control, so is there any point in worrying about it? Contact your contacts at this meeting and explain the situation, or try to book another flight in order to get there as soon as possible.

Practice compassion for yourself

Every negative situation is a chance to practice being very useful skill- compassion for oneself. The compassion we show for ourselves is directly proportional to the quality of our lives.

Do not confuse this with not taking responsibility for your actions or the opportunity to give yourself an indulgence. Rather, it is an acceptance of the fact that you are human too and can make mistakes too.

Remember this will pass

As I said above, life is a series of joys and failures. And this means that failures will pass and the turn of joy will come. Our goal in all of this is to try to make the best out of failure or understand how strong you are.

In the end, remember that negative situations always lead to discomfort and even pain. But how you get through these situations will determine how much you can get out of them.

1. Learn from negative situations
2. Find people to support you
3. Fix only what you can fix
4. Don't beat yourself up
5. Remember that everything will pass

By following these five tips, we will feel much better in any situation on roller coaster our life.