Self-sabotage, laziness and imposed goals. If the surrounding world is perceived as dangerous, the person regards most of the neutral facts as threatening.

What do they do in pickup training? They take some small chip, completely unimportant, such as which side to approach to get acquainted with, and inflate this fly to the size of an elephant. And this insignificant element is exaggerated during two training blocks. In this case, the main elements, of course, are forgotten.

If a person messes with these insignificant knuckles, instead of doing the main thing, it’s clear that he doesn’t succeed! And after he fails, he is told that he is "a sucker, a nerd and a wanker." And they unobtrusively hint that in order to stop being like that, something else needs to go through with them.

At different people different goals. There are very few real womanizers, 1-2%, or less. There is such a myth that supposedly any male has an instinct to cover as much as possible large quantity females. Bullshit! AT pure form this instinct remained only among these 1-2%. For everyone else, this instinct has hypertrophied into something like “one constant woman, and every three months I have a new one.” That's exactly what most people want! Those. so that there is one permanent girl with whom he is comfortable mentally and so, "to raise his spirit" from time to time to fuck new ones. Again, there are no specific figures. Someone once every two weeks, and someone once every half a year is enough. Again, your goals!

And what does the pickup truck “preach”! You see, if you don't fuck at least 2 new women a week, then you are a nerd, goof and jerk! Of course, this is not written directly anywhere, neither on pickup forums, nor in pickup books. All this is said in hints, metaphors and banter jokes.

There are different pickup destinations. Myth different schools pickup truck rests on various whales. Some build their myth on "smart NLP terms". There is a pickup truck whose myth rests on "non-verbal, look and condition." Another myth rests on the “switch, asshole, I'm jerking off!”. And everyone says that only his approach is correct, and that's what everyone should do. This is the standard, when everyone is one size fits all.

Here, you see, you definitely need to “beep” with a woman. When meeting her, pick her up, pick her up and yell. And if a person does not want to "shit"! If he wants to intelligently approach and say: “Girl, you just fascinated me!”. It is more convenient for him to bring the girl home, slowly sat, got drunk, wine, grapes, turned on the tango, danced, sat, slowly kissed, slowly undressed, a 2-hour prelude. He is so comfortable and he does it. And they tell him, no, you have to undress, run around the apartment, shake your dick and yell “ass!”. He can't do that, not because he's jerked off, but because he's physically uncomfortable, he doesn't enjoy it!

As is usually done in pick-up training. For example, a participant fails to do something. They say to him: “You don’t fuck much!” A person should succeed regardless of whether he drives or not. To teach the participant is the task of the trainer! The trainer is obligated (precisely OBLIGED) to teach if he took money from the participant for the training. The result, which was announced in the announcement of the training, the participants must show at the end. If this result is not present, then this indicates the incompetence of the coach, and not at all the degree of the participant's "retardation". The coach is the staff! Just like any other waitress. If she received an order for Kiev cutlets, then she should bring Kiev cutlets, and not Armenian shawarma at all, because, for example, it is easier to cook. She gets paid for this! And the coach too!

If a participant does not have motivation to “fuck it”, then it is the coach’s task to create this very motivation!

Most trainings are structured in such a way that a person pays not for the result, but for the process of passing the training. Those. he's just actually having fun in training. How does it work? Very simple. This is a conceptually commercial approach. This was done on purpose so that people would not succeed and that they would go to other trainings of this “pickup school”.

They ruin people's lives, in the traditional sense of the word! How?

The man lived. I earned money and rented whores. He was more or less normal. Lived, jerked off and filmed whores. Not that super duper cool! But more or less comfortable, at least somewhere somehow emotional needs satisfied. And then he read some articles on a pickup truck, where it is written that if you jerk off and shoot whores, then you are a sucker and a nerd. The dude stops jerking off and picking up whores, goes to pickup truck training and starts molesting women on the street. He constantly “opens” someone with openers, he is constantly rejected, his complexes keep growing and growing, and that’s it! This can go as far as suicide, such as "even after passing the training, the women did not give, I'm a loser, I'll hang myself!".

We don't even mind it! Okay, please tell dudes that picking up whores and jerking off is bad, let's say. But if you said it was bad, then you must teach it to be good. If such a person has been trained in a pickup truck, then he should stop filming whores, but at the same time start filming women, moreover, immediately after the end of the training!

On standard pickup trainings, the effectiveness varies from 10 to 30 percent.

Usually these same 10-30% are those people who are usually called "talented". They already knew how to do something, they succeeded in something, they came to the training and they also continued to succeed. They themselves know how to learn, regardless of the competence of the coach. Each “pickup school” has such “own faces” that were “burned” already before the training, and which everything worked out before the training. And what the coach’s pickup truck is trumpeting: “If this person has become successful, then this is solely my merit!”. Allegedly, they did this in such a way that he became successful. But in fact, he already knew a lot of things before the training, he had a huge motivation. This man would have learned all this without them. Such guys who know how to study themselves, they do not need to go to trainings, they can do it themselves. The maximum that training can do is speed up this process. This is the so-called. "stars". Organizers of trainings for the purpose of PR trumpet at every corner, like "Our coaches brought up such and such stars!". Those. give talented participants as an example. Like, they became like this only because of the training! Usually they, having gone through some kind of pick-up training, create their own “pick-up school”.

And the rest 70-90% fail, because they are "ordinary and unremarkable." They are not talented or brilliant. They don't just learn. They need to be trained! They need to be "tinkered with". Of course, these trainers won't mess with them. What for they need it, they cut down the grandmother and hit the road! And for these 70-90%, after that, life deteriorates. Before that, they somehow lived at the very least. And now they don’t succeed at all, they get confused on this, they read these pick-up forums all day and live, and that’s it !! Vicious circle! The old program was deleted, but the new one was not recorded, from this the computer is wedged!

We are not against pickup and commercial approach. But if you already undertook to train a person, then you must train him, and with a 100% guarantee. If the guarantee is less than 100%, then this indicates the incompetence of the coach. If you can not give a 100% guarantee - let them return the money!

The approach to a person should be individual. Each person has something of his own, some of his strengths, which he already initially obtained and there is no need to try to remake it for another. The task of the coach is to identify the model of behavior that will be the easiest for a person to get, which will be the most natural, most comfortable, and joyful for him. And make it work. And it’s not like something somehow worked for a person, they say “this is complete garbage, do it differently,” but he doesn’t succeed at all in another way, because. they don’t know how to teach shit, and after that “you don’t fuck enough!”.

There are chelas who seduce not to seduce, but to get emotions. We're not saying it's bad! Please, have fun, scream, get naked, have gangbangs, give a cock in your palm, but if you opened a "pick-up school" it is not necessary to say that everyone should do the same!

The coach is obliged to find out the true goals of the person. This is the responsibility of the coach, if he took up this business. To do so is his task. If he can't do it, it shows his incompetence. And they take money from the participants, they don’t succeed, or it doesn’t work out the way he wants, in short, “life doesn’t get better,” and after that they are told that they are “suckers and nerds and don’t fuck enough.”

Pickup trainings are created according to this principle: to promise everything, to give something, and to “explain” that this was everything. For 70-90 percent, they not only have the same level of comfort that they had before, they get even worse than before! With this conveyor system, when trainings are put on stream, it turns out that people's lives deteriorate. Here it turns out that it’s not the coach who adapts to the participants, but “if you please, the dude adapt to us.” Because trainings are initially NOT aimed at individuality, i.е. no emphasis is placed on this, respectively, it turns out that a maximum of 30% can adapt to this particular coach purely statistically. The emphasis should be on individuality, on your goals!

Many people have a habit of setting some kind of Mercedes as their goal, then saving up for it for several years, and a week after the purchase, they find that the car is almost not happy, and not really needed.

How to determine your real goals, so as not to waste time and effort on nonsense?

Method one

You need to present your goal and ask the question at least 15 times: “Why do I want this?”
For example, the goal is to buy a very expensive phone.
What for? To have a beautiful expensive thing.
What for? to raise the status.
What for? To be envied by others.
What for? To feel better.
What for? Because I'm tired of the fact that all my friends have it, but I don't. I'm embarrassed and envious.

So it turns out that the phone is needed not for yourself, but for friends.
And you can deal with resentment in a less expensive way.
If, after all the questions, we understand that we are doing it for pleasure or this goal will make us more efficient, we can achieve it.

Method two

It is necessary to evaluate how interesting it is to move towards the goals. Do you enjoy the process of achieving them?
If yes, everything is great.
If not, there is a chance that the body does not produce endorphins quite correctly. Most likely, he understands that this is superfluous.
This should not bring special pleasure, but you also don’t need to force yourself out from under the stick.

Method three

Living goals in the long term.
There is, for example, the goal of becoming a psychologist and accepting clients.
You need to imagine that the goal has been achieved, the diploma is hanging on the wall and you are already there.
Monday morning, we begin to work and deal with people's problems.
Tuesday - work with problems. Wednesday - work with problems. Thursday Friday...
Not tired yet? And in a month? What if six months?
When a goal is lived in this way, it comes to understanding whether I really need and like it, or whether I want it simply for the status itself.
The difference is the same as between wanting to be a writer and wanting to write books.

Method four

Take a notebook and write out at least 10 pages of your goals, desires and wishes. It is unlikely that you will be able to write all the pages at once, so you can do it for several days.
After you write everything, the first 5-6 pages can usually be thrown away, with a probability of 90% there is all sorts of socially acceptable nonsense.
The deepest desires appear towards the end, after about the sixth attack of "I don't know what else to write about."
This is difficult exercise, but the most useful in this list.
In addition, we must be aware that not all goals should be our own and cause delight in their implementation.
For example, restoring visual acuity will not always be “real and intimate”, but this does not mean that it does not need to be done. Good vision just doesn't lie on the road.

You just need to learn to distinguish where the goal is real and necessary, where it’s ordinary, but it doesn’t hurt, and where it’s someone else’s, and I’m just trying to convince myself to move there.
Then it will be easy to prioritize and not have to regret the time spent on something that will never come in handy.

Editorial

Have you tried making wishes according to all the rules? So, to visualize your dream and believe that you are worthy of it? Psychologist and business coach Olga Yurkovskaya tells whether there is that very magic formula for the fulfillment of desires and how to find it. Read the article in full in the January issue of our magazine:.

The content of our future depends entirely on what we think and what we say out loud. This idea is developed in his book by the doctor of chiropractic and neurophysiology, the author of a unique life transformation program, Joe Dispenza. The book talks about endless possibilities human brain and reprogramming our thinking. According to the author, there are no limits to human possibilities.

Not enough strength to move forward to achieve your goals? The usual thing! It happens often and with everyone. Everything is as usual: laziness interferes or there is simply no time. Circumstances are pressing and do not allow you to breathe freely when you are already doing business. We have to postpone again until Monday ... but what to do? It happens, of course, that a “clearance” happens, but even then it is necessary to make remarkable efforts to force yourself to go beyond the monotonous routine and take a step towards new.

Familiar situation. Something interferes and strongly resists within us. “Lack of motivation,” we say. As a result, either the "carrot" is too small - or the "whip blows" are weak. It seems to work, because there is never too much motivation.

We are strenuously trying to correct the current situation in this way, and when there is not enough strength, we are looking for a new influx. But maybe it’s worth digging in a different direction and realizing the reasons for their leakage? This is much more efficient. Each person and him is a kind of life little experiment.

As soon as we want to get up from a soft sofa and start acting, laziness immediately puts spokes in the wheels. She literally blocks the way, but generates a stream of excuses. As a result of such pressure, the outcome is obvious - postponing the action "for later." Laziness is a common "problem," but it's also a good indicator.

But some actions "for some reason" are given to us surprisingly easily and naturally. We call them "favorites". Devoting time to them, we notice how our internal engine begins to work in enhanced mode - for such cases always there are forces! This is what distinguishes our true desires, our true goals. They capture us, generate strength and self-confidence! It is our deepest goals ignite the eyes and give energy to life path. And the length of the path that will need to be laid is not important when each step is pleasant and easy.

Imposed goals

We are controlled by a multitude of desires and habits. Our behavior, one way or another, is shaped by the outside world: neighbors and parents, advertising and religion and politics. Any of our actions is the result of the sum of vectors passed through the filters of perception. Most of human behavior is imposed from outside. They will certainly draw strength from us to try to realize ourselves.

Look where our attention is directed! Endless political squabbles, worries about the dollar, the injustice of the world, prices, changing an outdated car and buying a new fashionable dress ... Are these really things that are worth such attention?

The imposed path is forced to check the next step with the one in front, to try to overtake him or at least keep up, to be nervous in case of failure, and to be afraid of the possibility of stumbling. Along the way we will feel certain always.

When we really find our goals in life, “problems” disappear dramatically, the focus of attention narrows, and energy expended is released. The dim world practically ceases to exist and a new, previously invisible part of it, more interesting and fascinating, appears. About the person who succeeded, they say that he is in life. Such people are happy.

How to define your goals?

Maybe that's why there are no forces because we scatter them on other people's goals? The problem is mainly not in motivation and willpower, but in following your goals, and not imposed ones? Obviously, when one's path is found, there is no need to internal struggle and in the constant "reconciliation" of the correctness of actions with the environment - everything happens by itself, intuitively.

It is impossible to get tired, pursuing your true goals. There are no people who are lazy to do their favorite things.

There is no need to search for a target! It is easier to be aware of those that we are in this moment guided. Cutting off the excess is much more effective! It is awareness that releases energy and exposes all that innermost that is hidden inside.

Their goals will not be heard while the “crowd” of strangers is roaring around. Silence is needed to hear. Gradually getting rid of "extraneous noise", a background will be formed against which own desires and goals. And gradually, with experience, the melody will only intensify, and our "soul" will give more and more strength to accomplish them.

May 22, 2016 at 19:51 PM

In previous articles, we talked about what you need, firstly, recognize the problem, its presence, and that its change depends precisely on the person himself - i.e. from you personally.

When they recognized and realized that their own inefficient behavior model was to blame and that it needed to be replaced with another effective one, then you need to set a goal.

And close target for a specific specified period of time.

And a real goal - a goal that other people have already achieved repeatedly and randomly.

In addition, it was agreed that the goal should be formulated positively -those. "Where do you want to go"and be as specific and measurable as possible.. For a benefit goal, use “from” statements, and for a resource saving goal, use “to” statements.

I understand that this may sound absurd. How is it “not mine”, if I formulated it myself?

The fact that you have formulated it and, as it were, set it “yourself” is understandable – in this sense, of course, it is yours.

The question about belonging to you "your" purpose is deeper.

First of all, there are socially-imposed goals.

For example, "get married", "gain financial independence", "become an investor" and the like.

Why, for example, “to get married” is a socially imposed goal. Because in itself marriage, registration of marriage are external attributes invented by society.

More right aim could sound, for example, like this: “create a relationship with a man close in spirit, goals, become his friend, partner, caring and loving woman rolled into one, with the creation of a friendly and harmonious family with the birth and upbringing of common children.

If registration of marriage and marriage are a consequence and a small fragment of such a goal, then everything is in order. But marriage itself, "a stamp in the passport", and the status " married woman" - This wrong target, albeit specific and measurable.

Why “Financial independence” is also a socially imposed goal?

First of all, note that the goal of "financial independence", like "democracy" or "communism", formulated vaguely and immeasurably.

Secondly, independence from whom and from what?

If a from the employer, then no problem - you can give yourself work. Any individual entrepreneur is "independent", even if he works from morning till night without days off.

If independence from the state then it is a utopia. If not from one, then you will depend on another state. You will pay taxes, report, and be checked by the relevant authorities. (In the case of criminal activity, you will give bribes, try to negotiate and hide from law enforcement I don't think you need it.)

Independence from their employees, partners, clients, relatives- I don’t pay anything to anyone, I don’t have any obligations to anyone?

Yes, in individual cases occurs - for example, in the same stock trading, independence from partners, customers and employees is possible.

But in order to become absolutely independent from your loved ones, you need to be left alone without relatives and friends in general. Do you need it? The question, I'm sure, is rhetorical.

Often under "financial independence" is represented no need to work– like money somehow makes money.

But how is it "themselves"? Absolutely, absolutely "on your own"? Or does this money still need to be properly managed?

For example, to trade not just like that, but according to the System and Strategy. And what is money management (or stock trading), if not a job? Yes, it’s more correct to say “business” or “own business”.

But in any case, as with independence from the employer, owning a business requires time and effort - and in this sense, this is also work, and not at all resting on our laurels.

Note. There are similar myths regarding the concepts of "investor", " passive income". Like become an “investor”, you will receive “passive income” and become “financially independent”.

What does "passive income" mean? What is the amount of "passive" income for what specific period of time? How much time will you spend on getting it, how often will you make decisions, what risks will you have and how will you deal with them?

What does "financial independence" mean? From whom, to what extent? Etc.

Formulate your goal, which will resonate with your soul.

The formal goal of “getting married” is unlikely to resonate in the soul if there is nothing behind it, except for a stamp in the passport.

Also, avoid abstract, idealized goals like " financial independence”, “investing” and “passive” income.

The goal must be realistic. Think about why you personally want this goal. Reframe it. To do this, think about what specifically stands for this goal for you. After all, even money is a formal goal. Why do you need money? Well, not for abstract “financial independence”! What exactly do you want to buy with this money? What will you get in return for the money?

What will your goal give you, and what will you lose.

About this in next continuation articles.

Sincerely, Yuriy VPotoka.

P.S.: Strategic issues practical work with their goals in the Business of Exchange Trading are considered in the VIP part “Strategy” of the training “Effective Strategy for Exchange Trading”

Briefly about the Strategy of the Business of Exchange Trading is written in the book “How to make 1000% per annum on the stock exchange yourself, not knowing Where Will You Go Market"