Who is a True Friend? Willingness to help at any time. Difference between friend and buddy

Incredible Facts

Best friends are occupied special place in our life.

They don't get the title of "best" from scratch.

This prize is won by them after a large number joy, effort, deprivation, fellowship and love.

A best friend, on the other hand, will stand up for your honor to the end, because he knows the price of loyalty.

7. Buddies can be your supporters, but the best friend is the one who will always be there.

If you happen to find your dream job, your buddies may warn you of the competition you'll face while vying for a spot.

Your best friend may also tell you this, however, he will be the one to cheer you up. It will definitely emphasize all the qualities, skills and experience that you can get in a new place.

8. Friends are just joking, and best friends remember all the funny episodes with you.

Your best friend remembers all your jokes and can pull them out of memory at the first opportunity. Buddies most often have difficulty remembering small episodes, and often do not even remember them.

9. Buddies can help you, but your best friend is available 24/7

You may feel shy to call a friend at 2 am if you are very unwell, but your best friend will certainly help with advice.

Difference between friend and buddy

10. Friends often don't know how to keep secrets, best friends can

Often when you ask friends not to talk about something, this does not happen, but with best friend you are always sure that your secret is safe.

11. Friends will rarely tell you about your mistakes, best friends do it much more often.

We all make mistakes in relationships, at work, and in family affairs. Buddies will rarely agree to try on your problems, but the best friend will always tell you what went wrong and where, and also help you avoid repeating the mistake.

12. Friends are always ready not to be in debt, the best friend does not think about profit

Whether it be material goods or services, a friend is always ready to pay and expects the same from you. With best friends, this scheme does not work, no one bills anyone.

13. Friends do not understand all the subtleties of your personal life, best friends understand very well

Buddies are not willing to invest time and effort in you, so you often feel not confident enough to dedicate a friend to all the details. The best friend is an excellent listener, he remembers all the details: both bad and good.

14. Buddies are strict with time, best friends are more flexible in this sense.

Of course, punctuality is an important feature, but friends can often react very harshly to your lateness of 20 minutes. The best friend is relaxed and will find something to do while waiting for you.

Friend, comrade or buddy?

15. Friends fear your obsessions, best friends accept

We all have obsessions. You should be more careful with friends, because they may consider you strange, not fitting into some of their ideas of normality. Best friends just laugh it off when they hear about obsessions each other.

16. Buddies don't really like it when they hear the same thing from you, best friends love repeating stories.

Old stories, anecdotes, some small funny stories ... We think about all this when we communicate with friends, and often carefully think over the conversation, because we are afraid to repeat ourselves.

We know that friendship, like the rarest diamond, is always expensive and is not immune from fakes! After all, friendship is the greatest value that is available to everyone. And there is no need for any proof. Probably, in every generation there are many thinkers who wanted to get through to the truth by studying this sacrament.

In moments of joy, when we feel good and prosperous, friends recognize us, and, unfortunately, in moments of misfortune, we recognize them. Sometimes it is very difficult to understand who your friend is, and in this matter we often rely on intuition. Like all people, our friends are different. Everyone has their own role in our life. To understand this, the sages once gave us some important definitions:

1. Friends are like food we need daily.

Elementary communication, like healthy sleep, is our vital necessity. We need to remember that there is a type of friend that we need every day. We just need them to listen to us, energize us and share their knowledge. They charge our life batteries, and we often repay them in kind.

2. Having friends is like medicine - you look for them when you feel bad

The pain cannot be tolerated. In the phone book, we are looking for that pill, which is sometimes unfairly forgotten. We know that they will come to our aid even in the most difficult situations, listen to us, help solve a problem, or simply become the shoulder we can rely on. And although we rarely remember them, we appreciate them for their responsiveness and willingness to help.

3. Having friends is like a disease - they are looking for you.

They are annoying and annoying, always calling with stories about a bad husband, a bad boss or stupid "ancestors". Such "friends" do not care what to talk about. They want to get the most vital energy, your advice, consolations, suggestions, support. They need to make it clear that they are needed, but your presence in their lives is unimportant and insignificant! Their boundaries are the boundaries of their own world! Learn to feel the difference and surround yourself with worthy people.

4. But there are friends like air - they are not visible, but they are always with you

It's amazingly nice when you have a friend who is always there for you ... A friend to whom you can tell everything, repeating the same thing a hundred times, but he still sits, listens and says that everything will be fine. When you can call at night, he will be happy to hear from you when you have Bad mood, he tries in any way to raise it to you.

Appreciate your friends, because a friend is one soul living in two bodies.

It is believed that there can be several friends, but there is only one true friend. After all, it’s true, you won’t go to tell the secret to a close friend who seems like a friend, but doesn’t seem to be. To find true friend, will have to sweat. However, is it possible to find it? It's like luck in a casino: you either have it or you don't. Most often, we meet true true friends in deep childhood, go to school with them, rejoice at every event, and as adults, we continue to maintain relationships, remaining the closest people on the planet. But this does not mean that true friendship cannot be found in adulthood. Friendship, like love, is submissive to all ages. I just want to say that a true friend will not fall on your head. It will take many years for it to get the status of a real one.

If you make a portrait of a true friend, then it should be something like this:

Never leave you in trouble. He will always come to the rescue, even when you have to sacrifice your own plans or even your life.

Knows how to listen. He never interrupts and always answers questions.

Gives smart tips. This means that he will not advise what can be harmful, for example, harm love relationship or career.

A true friend will not forget to wish you a happy birthday or other holiday. He will definitely make a gift, and even sign a postcard.

He often calls and asks how things are.

He will never betray, set up or use friendship for personal gain.

He likes to go to the cinema together, and then discuss the film he has watched.

This is only the smallest thing a real friend can have. In general, true friendship is an endless source of good deeds and joyful moments.

A person who has a true friend can be envied. Often people have dozens of friends, only among them there is no one who is the best. Sometimes you have to burn yourself well, considering the real friend of the one who will never become one.

But I wonder if it's hard to be a real friend? Here's how to see. On the one hand, yes, because a true friend takes responsibility for relationships with other people. He can sacrifice anything for his own purposes, but not friendship. Most likely, this is why it is difficult to be a true friend, because very often life throws us situations when we have to make hard choice between friendships and something else. If you look from the other side, then why a real friend should be difficult. Not everyone deserves the title of "real", but those who deserve it will successfully cope with all the trials

It should be noted that true friendship is not always eternal. Sometimes even the most lose relationships. There is simply a feeling that is higher than friendship - this is love. And if two friends fall in love with the same person, their relationship may well crack. It is believed that one of the friends in similar situations must yield, but who, after all, both are in an equal position. True, if true friendship breaks up, it is only in isolated cases.

Still, it's great when we have real friends in our lives. Family is family, and true friendship never hurts. That's just to find him, a real and most faithful friend who will never leave or let you down.

A variety of unpleasant events can happen in our life. So, we can get divorced, part with a loved one, lose a job, etc. In moments like these, I want to count on someone's support. You are very lucky if you have a best friend who will do everything possible to help you and get you back on track. After all, true friendship is truly strong. It cannot be affected by time or distance. We invite you to familiarize yourself with the signs that you have an ideal best friend. If you make sure that there is such a person next to you, then do everything in your power to never break contact with him, because you are incredibly lucky!

Nothing changes in your relationship, even if you don't see each other for a very long time.

Fate can be different. So, you can leave for a couple of years to work in another city or even a country. Of course, you won't be able to see your buddy several times a week. This is the normal state of affairs. However, when you return home, you will realize that nothing has changed between you during the separation. You will be just as fun and funny to spend time together as before.

Ready to help at any time

Happen in our life different situations. Yes, we can be on bad date and not know how to get out of it, or lose your wallet and be left without money to travel home. In this case, all that remains is to call your best friend, and he will rush to your aid.

A true friend will never let you suffer alone.

When you come Hard times, he will be next to you every minute. And no matter what you do - dance all night in a disco, cry in a fast food cafe or sit in front of the TV on the couch, your friend will keep you company.

A friend will always have your back

A good friend will always tell you if he hears someone say bad things about you. The best friend himself will react and with dignity answer these people to insults addressed to you. Even if you make a stupid mistake, he will protect you. After all, this is the duty of a best friend.

You can always ask him to be with you.

If you are overcome in the middle of the night negative thoughts and worries that keep you awake, then calling to ask you to talk or meet will not anger your best friend. After all, he understands that without a good reason you would not bother him at such an hour. And if you already went for it, it means that the matter is really serious.

You may not have the same tastes, but you compromise

For example, your friend loves documentaries, and you are set to watch a light comedy in the evening. True friends won't fight over this. Most likely, they will decide to watch both films in the evening.

You don't like the same people

Surely, if you went to school or university together, you disliked the same classmates or students. However, this emotional connection has another level. So, for example, if a guy dumped your girlfriend, then you will be angry with him a little less than she is. And it is unlikely that you will miss the opportunity to express your attitude to him.

Your friend will do anything to make you smile, even if you don't feel like doing it.

If you don't want to leave the house anywhere, and you feel overwhelmed, then a real friend will visit you every day and come up with something to cheer you up. And in the end, he will make you smile and even laugh.

They tell the truth, not what you want to hear

After a few cocktails and a couple of shots of vodka, you can declare that now is the time to send a text message to your ex boyfriend. A friend will let you do it. But a real friend will simply take your phone away from you and will not allow you to do something stupid that you will regret just a few hours later.

A true friend is willing to listen to your problems over and over again.

He will always have the patience to listen to the story of your breakup with a partner for the thousandth time. A true friend will not refuse to be a "vest" and wipe your tears, even if you already know absolutely everything about his problems. When it comes to advice and assessment of the situation, he will assure you for the hundredth time that you amazing person and that your ex was very stupid to leave you.

It's good to be a child, a schoolboy, a student. At a young age, you do not need to think about friendship and work on relationships. Friends just are, because it happened.

From birth, we live the life that our parents chose for us. This is how our acquaintances live, and the differences are not so significant as to interfere with friendship. So friends are bound to show up. During our student years, we find ourselves in an environment ideal for forming friendships. It is easy to follow everything the necessary conditions for a strong friendship. Sociologists believe that there are three of them:

• Proximity (geographically).
• Constant unscheduled meetings.
• Something that allows you to relax in the presence of another person and begin to trust him.

So the number of friends at universities and colleges is growing. Maybe they're real, maybe this relationship won't last long. But you don't do anything special to get them started or supported. They add up by themselves, you are just an observer.

One day student life ends. The people you associate with take their places in your environment, each in their own social circle. It looks something like this:

Imagine that your life is a mountain. You are at the top. In the green sector - friends of the first circle. Those who have become your brother or sister. These are the closest people: they are the first to know about all the events in your life, you love them with all the shortcomings, they give a speech at your wedding, you know them inside and out. These relationships are eternal. Even if you do not communicate for months, each meeting proves that nothing has changed.

Unfortunately, life is such that the first circle includes your worst enemies. People who can ruin your day with one sharp remark, because only they know where to hit. These are the people towards whom you feel burning irritation, envy, with whom you compete. In the first round, the stakes are high.

Below, in the yellow zone, are the friends of the second circle. They are just good friends. Relations with them are much calmer than with brothers and sisters from the first circle. They may invite you to the wedding, but not as a witness. If you live in the same city, you meet once or twice a month with great pleasure, but if someone leaves, you can not talk to each other for a year or two. And if something important happened in their lives, mutual friends will tell you about it.

Even further down the slope is the orange zone, where fake friends are located. You can sit together in a cafe for a cup of tea and decide that we should meet again, but five years will pass and it turns out that during this time you no longer drank any tea together. Such relationships exist in big company or in in social networks. Even if someone from this circle suddenly inherits a million, you will not care much. From the orange zone appear sexual partners for one night.

The third circle smoothly flows into a huge category of acquaintances. It contains people with whom you will stop to exchange a few words if you run into on the street. You send business letters to them, but you will not meet at the movies. If you hear that something happened to one of them, you can sigh sadly, although in fact you don’t care at all.

Finally, acquaintances dissolve in a sea of ​​strangers.

Depending on your personality and how you have spent the last 25 years, your mountains may look different.

For example, this is how the life of a person who does not let anyone close to him looks like.

Or a person who tries to be everyone's best friend.

Even the last sociopath has his mountain.

Whatever your mountain looks like, when adolescence is left behind, sooner or later (usually between 25 and 30 years old) there comes a day when you realize that making friends has become difficult.

Without a doubt, friends will still appear (work, the company of a spouse, children will help), but it is unlikely that you will add them to the first circle of relatives or even to the second circle. People who meet as adults can't spend their days with each other or chat all night long. And this is necessary for the birth of such strong relationship. Over time, you realize that real friends appeared in your life by accident, spontaneously, and you did nothing special for this.

You met them, firstly, not on purpose, and secondly, at a time when you still knew little about yourself. Therefore, the people closest to you are randomly distributed according to the graph below.

Over time, everything remains in squares 2-4 less people. We grow up, begin to respect ourselves more and set a higher bar in communicating with other people.

But the fact remains that many formative relationships stick to us. And even if friendship is far from ideal, among our close friends there are people whose communication does not bring more joy and meaning to life. We’ll talk about ideal friendship later, but for now, let’s take a look at 10 types of strange friends that we have in our environment.

1. A friend who doesn't ask questions

You will have a good day. Or bad. You will be happy at work or quit. You will fall in love. Or catch your lover on and kill both of you in a state uncontrollable rage. It doesn't matter, because no event can be discussed with a friend who doesn't ask questions. Never, never, under any circumstances, will he become interested in your life. Why is he behaving like this? There are three explanations.

1. He is completely focused on himself and wants to discuss only his person.
2. He is afraid to get close to people and does not want to talk about personal things (neither about his own nor about yours), he agrees to support only an abstract conversation.
3. He knows that you are extremely self-centered. If you ask a question, you will talk only about yourself all evening.

To make such a friendship meaningful, take just two steps.

The first: If you are bored with this person, remove him from the first social circle. This is your green zone, it is sacred, people fixated on themselves have nothing to do there. Move such a friend to the second or third level and enjoy rare meetings.

Second: keep talking. Perhaps you will even use such a friend "blindly". Meet once every couple of months, but do not touch personal topics in the conversation. Believe me, you can communicate with a person for many years, and still not even know if he has brothers and sisters.

2. A friend in a common company with whom you will not be left alone

In any company there are a couple of people who do not communicate with each other one on one. Not in the sense that they don't talk because they don't like each other. They get along great. They just have nothing in common other than common friends. As soon as they are left alone in the room, they freeze like stone statues.

There is nothing worse for them than being in the same car if the company gets somewhere by car. Smaller troubles happen all the time. For example, if such people were the first to arrive at the meeting place or when the third friend went to the toilet. It is not at all necessary that these people will never be able to make friends. Sometimes no one dares to take the first step and change the current state of affairs.

3. A friend who always laughs

This is a friend who is afraid of serious communication, so any meeting with him turns into a skit, and you should always be in high spirits when you talk.

Sometimes the skit is that you have to laugh all the time. And constantly joke, pour sarcastic remarks, otherwise a friend is overcome by fear.

Another version of the always ironic friend is the person who loses his temper when you break through his shell and say something honest. Such people hate sincere interlocutors, because they make them crawl out from behind the armor of sarcasm and irony and show their true colors.

The third version: your communication is described by the phrase "you're cool, I'm even cooler, why is the rest of the world not so cool." Of course, a friend does not consider you ideal. When he talks to someone else, he is already dissecting you. The trick is that you always have to be on his team. The only comfortable mode of coexistence is to stand on a fictional pedestal together and pour mud the world. You can play along with such a friend and everything will be fine, even if deep down you despise each other and yourself. Or you can take the liberty of disagreeing with him. For example, to protect a person from criticism. This will destroy your fragile team and cause a backlash. Your strange friend will most likely agree with you, saying something like: "Well, yes, you're probably right." Congratulations, this means that you have earned the respect of this person for the first time. It also means that behind your back, he will criticize you five times more than before.

Like it or not, the mask is always cheerful person- this is the wall behind which your friend hides, so as not to let anyone get too close to him. If you have the strength to break through the ice and calm down such a sociopath, he can become a real friend. If a person is completely closed, then nothing can be done, such friendship is doomed. Although if you like to constantly scoff, then why not.

4. Commitment friend

Think of a friend you rarely see. Before making an appointment, you call and text for a long time to find a time convenient for both. But when you wake up in the morning and realize that a friendly dinner is on your schedule today, you are not happy at all.

Maybe you don't want to be friends with this person, he even infuriates you. Most likely, you do not understand: this friend does not want to see you either.

Friendship with mutual obligations suggests that both of these relationships are a burden. But everyone thinks that the other person really wants to see him. Therefore, there is no way you can allocate a place in the schedule for the meeting. When people want to communicate, they find opportunities and ways.

This friendship lasts because you don't think at all that you don't like the relationship. Or you consider meeting this person part of your life story. But even if you understand that you do not want to communicate, you do not know that your feelings are mutual. Tough friendships can last forever.

5. Friendzoner

This friendship could turn into, only your friend or girlfriend does not look at you as a partner. The smallest thing is missing. You may also find yourself in a situation where someone loves you. No matter how you slice it, it's not the healthiest relationship you'll ever have.

If you're stuck in the friend zone, isn't it time to get out of it? Even if you have to stop talking. Because as long as you drag this relationship, you destroy your self-esteem and look like a small crying seal. Take a step, where is your self-respect? Perhaps it is a bold decision that will make the object of love look at you with different eyes.

If you are a friendzone, then know that there is a person in the world who suffers, and you like it. Because every time you see someone else's pain, your vile ego is overwhelmed with pleasure. You are so pleased that you are even ready to specifically stir up someone else's interest and not say yes or no in order to feed on the blood of a friend wounded in the heart, like a vampire.

Go and do something else.

6. Historical friend

Your historical friend was one of the first to appear because you met when you were kids. You have been friends for years, although you were an odd couple. Many old friends fall into this category. But a historical friend is that person you would never be friends with if you met now.

You don't like who this person has become, and it's mutual. You are no longer suitable for each other. Alas. You are close friends with four years, and there's nothing you can do about it.

7. A friend with whom you go in different directions

As a child and as a student, most people your age are on the same level as you. But when it comes to self promotion, people go through life different ways so that recent friends suddenly turn out to be completely different people.

Everyone in their 30s goes through this stage. Someone thinks about how they will live at 50. And someone remains 20 years old. To some extent, the age of thirty is akin to puberty, only in a different sense.

There are also hidden situations in which the roads with friends diverge. Suppose Zhenya refuses material well-being partly because of the vocation of an artist, partly so as not to envy rich people. And Sasha despises all bohemia, because he believes creative people loafers or jealous of their freedom of expression. Sasha and Zhenya have problems. Maybe they still like each other, but they can no longer be as close as before. life path each one defies the other's path, leading to awkwardness in communication. It also happens when your moral values ​​do not match.

8. A friend who doesn't need enemies

"Enmity" hurts you a lot. It's not about those cases when a friend experiences a prick of pleasure if you failed or. And not even about those who are jealous of your success. These are toxic emotions, but even real friends can sometimes have them.

We are talking about real "hostility" - a relationship with such a friend who sincerely wants to harm you. Just because he wants to.

Most likely, you have been communicating with a friend enemy for a long time, the problems also did not start yesterday.

Hate hides complex psychological reasons. It is generated from the inner pain of your enemy friend, from his regrets. And you, with your very existence, hit the patient.

A little less dark, but no less dangerous situation develops when another enemy sees your weaknesses and sensitive points and constantly presses on them out of sadistic pleasure or to raise their own self-esteem.

Such a friend knows exactly how to hurt you, because you are similar in some way or something connects you. Moreover, he will constantly spoil your life, at any opportunity, but so cleverly that you will not even always notice it.

Be that as it may, if such a person appears among your friends, immediately throw him out of your social circle. The cooler your relationship becomes, the better. As the distance between you increases, the poisonous force of the other enemy dissolves.

9. A friend is a social media star

This person is not a star for anyone but you. Do you understand what I'm talking about. There are a few people whose social media pages are all too familiar to you. And these people have no idea that you are so interested in them. I must say that there are probably people who know when you changed your hairstyle, although you have not seen each other for seven years.

This is a friend from the third circle or just an acquaintance who got on the list of strange friends because you managed to make your relationship painful without even communicating with the person. It had to be done.

10. One-sided friendship

Friendship can be twisted in a bunch of ways. Someone is in your pyramid of friends at a higher position than you are in his pyramid. Some people want to communicate more than others.

One of the friends in 90% of cases listens and only 10% speaks, and when it comes to difficulties, then communication is more like a meeting with a psychotherapist.

In general, the balance between what you give and what you take from the relationship is out of balance.

Ideally, when friendship is invested equally. But if the ratio is about 65/35, that's okay too. In the end, the difference may be due to personal characteristics. Sometimes even a bigger gap in who invests how much in a relationship isn't so bad. But only if it suits both parties.

There are several questions, the answers to which show who is who in friendship. When one person talks longer than another, is the “talker” interrupted by his friend? Does one friend's opinion carry more weight? Is it permissible for one of your friends to sometimes act nasty towards another?

Another test for lice is to find out who determines the mood in the company. Let's say friends meet, but they have a different mood. Sooner or later the mood comes to common denominator. Which state usually wins? For example, Sasha is not in a good mood, Zhenya, on the contrary, is on the rise, and Valya adjusts to Sasha and gets bored until Sasha starts having fun. But if Sasha is happy, and Zhenya is moping, then Valya even forgets about his unimportant mood and tries to smile in order to get on the same wavelength with Sasha. In this example, Sasha has the most strong positions among friends.

It's not all that bad...

You might think it's bad. But let's mentally return to the graph with squares. We discussed those friends with whom relationships do not bring pleasure and benefit. Therefore, they listed not the best options. But there is also a friendship that is worth the effort.

Nothing is perfect, but there is. Those, from communication with which life becomes better for both parties. And if a friend falls into the first square of the graph and at the same time into the first circle of communication, this is one of the cornerstones on which your life is built.

Reliable friends make us happy, investing time and energy in such friendship is a life strategy for many years to come.

But closer to 30, we think that we have:

• no time specifically for friends;
• available time should be divided equally between people from the first and second circle of communication.

And we will fall into an eternal trap. When we do not see friends for a long time, we begin to talk about something supposedly important first of all. About career, marriage, family problems. Theoretically, after you discuss important questions, you can move on to jokes, chatter and actually to friendship. In fact, if we don't make time for friends and then start asking about all the news for recent months, then there is not a minute left to actually enjoy friendship and discuss something other than recent events.

So, there are two items on the agenda:

1. Think about your friends who are not in the first square. Move them off your friendly mountain. Not in the sense that you should stop talking to them altogether. Treat them well, don't forget about them. But if something doesn’t suit you, you don’t have to constantly be with these people. In general, clean up the environment.
2. Make more time for real friends. If you are already about 30, then you are unlikely to find other true friends. They deserve to receive five, ten times more attention than other acquaintances. And it’s not enough just to have lunch during the break. Real friendship worthy of an intimate atmosphere. Now take and plan an evening with your best friend.