How to get rid of emotional dependence and throw off the burden of difficult situations. How to piss someone off with one sentence? The principle of accepting the emotions of others

Are you frustrated by incontinence? Emotions come up at the most inopportune moment and you can’t get rid of them? Then it's time for you to work on yourself. Have you ever wondered how to turn off emotions? This is not very difficult to do, the main thing is to practice often.

Deal with your emotions

Don't know how to turn off emotions? Before thinking about it, you should understand the reason for their appearance. Emotions are a consequence, and it will not work to eliminate it without knowing the cause. How to find the root of the problem that causes so much inconvenience? Control your feelings carefully.

Every time a wave of feelings comes up, whether they are good or bad, note the reason for their appearance. It will take a long time to make such observations, at least for a month. During this period of time, you will be able to collect fairly accurate statistics on how you feel and in what situations. And what now needs to be done with the collected information? Apply it.

Any time you find yourself in a situation that can trigger strong emotions in you, try to get ahead of them. If you say to yourself everything that will happen a second later, it may simply not happen. Feelings are controlled by the brain, and if you make a game out of the process of their appearance, you will soon learn to understand what you should feel, but not experience it.

Learn to go out on the balcony

Working on yourself and controlling your feelings is very laborious. How to turn off emotions and do it quickly? Similar way suitable for people who can switch consciousness instantly. How to do it?

In the course of a conversation, you need to master the skill of detaching yourself from the situation and looking at yourself from the side. The moment you realize that emotions are kicking in, just step back. Do not worry and do not give color to what is happening or to the words of the speaker. An imaginary balcony can be a salvation. To learn to control the situation, at first you will often be distracted from the words of the interlocutor. You need to practice the skill of detachment immediately with living people. From time to time, take a break from your feelings and value judgment and look at the dialogue as if from the outside. It will be difficult to concentrate on what you are saying and on your emotions, which will definitely appear in the moment. Over time, such jumps will be much easier for you to do.

Train your imagination

Can you disengage from what is happening? Some people have this ability, others don't. Even if you are currently deprived of it, do not worry, it can be developed. How to do it?

Are you not taking part in the conversation, and it starts to annoy you? Instead of experiencing negative emotions, imagine any picture that, in your opinion, corresponds to a state of peace of mind. It can be a forest landscape, a sea coast or snow-capped mountains. Take a walk in the imagination in nature and do not pay much attention to the conversation. But do not delve into your thoughts entirely. Some part of consciousness must remain alert. If you are approached with a question, you must respond. But at this point you will already be calm and satisfied. How to turn off emotions? Do not delve into everything that is happening and do not worry. Take care of yourself and your nerves.

Practice meditation

And emotions? To find harmony in the soul, a person must engage in meditation. A practice that allows any person to clear their mind in a fraction of a second is one of the most beneficial in human life. It is not as difficult to achieve perfection in it as many people think. What needs to be done for this?

The first step is to focus on the breath. Inhale deeply and then exhale slowly. At this moment, get rid of all thoughts. If this practice turns out badly, then count your inhalations and exhalations. Can't concentrate even like that? Take the rosary in your hands. Move the balls with your fingers to the beat of your breath. With experience, you will be able to breathe calmly and relax for minimal amount time. Do you want to achieve best results? Then combine the practice of meditation with yoga. It is better to engage in such exercises in specialized courses. At home, due to inexperience, you can do the exercises incorrectly and harm your health.

morning pages

Wondering how to turn off emotions forever? Do you think it's possible? Even the most cold-blooded people worry from time to time and can even become depressed. How then to be?

You can splash out emotions immediately after waking up. Such a morning ritual will allow you to remain in harmony with yourself throughout the day and not be exposed to excessive emotionality. How to implement the morning pages? Take three clean slate papers, sit down at the table and write. About what? Write whatever comes to mind. Pour out your anger, resentment, mistrust and joy on paper.

Your task is to write impartially, do not evaluate your own creation. Your pages do not need to be shown to anyone. This writing will be akin personal diary. But the difference will be that you write the diary consciously, and morning handwriting should come from the heart and soul, and not from the mind. You need to write every day and all three pages. Nothing to write? So write that you have nothing to write about. After three lines of repetition, thoughts will definitely come to mind.

Find an outlet

Man is not a robot. He cannot turn off emotions and feelings forever. How then to live? You need to be able to control your emotions and their manifestation. In order not to break loose in public, you need to find a hobby that will become your personal outlet. What could it be? Handmade, sports, programming, drawing, organizing events, etc. Favorite work helps a person to relax and forget about his problems for a while. A person who receives a charge of positive energy and emotions after doing their favorite work will feel great. It is simply impossible to piss off such a person or somehow undermine his calmness. Happy people rarely react even to the most rude attacks in their direction.

Build Your Confidence

How to learn to turn off emotions? Practice self-confidence. A person who considers himself an excellent specialist and wonderful person, will be less irritable and more objective. A self-confident person will be cold-blooded. Look at any famous businessman. Its very appearance inspires peace and tranquility. A person feels such a state within himself. The person may suppress their emotions by withdrawing from them. A high self-evaluation does not allow the psychological defenses of the brain to be broken, and he does not panic every time he hears not very pleasant things about himself or about loved ones. A person who can independently judge certain circumstances and not listen to gossip will go very far.

And why do people deliberately spoil the mood of others? Energy vampires feed on the emotions of weak-willed people. How do vampires turn off emotions? They piss you off and boost their self-esteem at your expense. Don't let anyone do that.

Romance and real life are incompatible. Lifestyle, full of romance, exploited by all and sundry. These those who are not too lazy, clearly understand what they are doing and why. But the one who falls under the charm of this image, get emotional dependence as a result.

The more romantic a person is, the less adequate he is, as he is tuned to a certain energy exchange with the world. Moreover, he may not have a partner, but the mood for a “long, joint, romantic life" has already.

A person comes to this mood, to whom the romantic has an emotional dependence. But the romantic calls it "love" and behaves accordingly. Until it is faced with the fact of a deafening and painful break.

Only when he comes to his senses after many months does the romantic realize that Pushkin was right when he said, “what less woman we love, the easier she likes us.” Everyone who is familiar with such a relationship intuitively guesses about it, but stop "loving" by force of will few succeed.

Therefore, this article is for those who would like to “fall out of love”, but cannot. Especially for those who were put before the fact. And also for those who can not forget the former love / partner / spouse.

The mechanism of the emergence of "love" and the emotional channel.

Where does love begin?

Love begins with an uncontrollable outburst of sympathy, seemingly out of the blue. So it is, but not really. Such outbursts of sympathy are initially MUTUAL, and cannot occur without a mood for a certain energy exchange of each of the two.

This mood is so quickly read by the subconscious that the consciousness does not have time to react and give a digestible form to this flash. If the mood is "wrong", such an outbreak has no continuation. 99.9% of them have no continuation and are quickly forgotten.

But, if one "reads" the mood as "that one", the flash of sympathy passes into a material-verbal-tangible phase. In life, it looks like an attempt to talk to a person you like, invite you for a cup of coffee, for a walk, to the cinema. Even a smile is already an invitation to go further, to translate a still virtual acquaintance into a closer relationship. Already at this level there is CHANNEL OF ENERGY EXCHANGE through which energy flows from one to the other. The channel is opened by the one who is more interested in continuing the acquaintance.

If the other reciprocates, the energy exchange goes into new form, as yet unclear for either one or the other. At this stage, the energy exchange is unstable, and can stop at any moment when one decides that "I did not like him / her." The consequences of the appearance and disappearance of the channel are usually not noticed. Well, really, who hasn’t happened when the first meeting turned out to be the last.

But if the energy exchange suits both, the flash of sympathy develops into a closer acquaintance, into close relationships, and in some cases into love and family.

Each phase is characterized by its own state of energy exchange between partners, and is determined only by the quality and quantity of energy that partners put into the channel.

If each of the partners invests real actions, a piece of the soul, strength, feelings and emotions equally into the relationship, then such couples live happily ever after.

But if one of the partners begins to pull the “blanket over himself”, giving energy of the wrong quality and in the wrong quantity to the channel, then such relationships become dependent. This happens due to the fact that the other partner is more romantic than the first. A romantic lives with illusions, dreams and builds a virtual reality in his mind. happy life with a partner, wishful thinking.

At the same time, the one who perceives reality more adequately, who is less interested in relationships, becomes the leading partner in the pair. The leading partner gives less energy to the channel, and the other, the follower, needs to give energy "for two" in order to restore balance.

As soon as one feels the imbalance of energy exchange is not in his favor, his Ego begins to rebel, realizing that, by the will of the "owner", he fell into an energy trap. And the "owner" is busy pumping the channel with his energy, in the hope of restoring the elusive interest of the leading partner.

It turns out that a person himself, voluntarily, having the hope of returning "love", does not find his energy to be better used than pushing it into the channel formed when sympathy arises. And on the other side of the channel, there is almost always complete satisfaction with life.

Emotional dependence.

So, the less interested a partner is in a relationship, the more dependent the other partner is in that relationship.. With dependence, personal autonomy is lost, and in order to restore it, the consciousness of a person pushes him to do some action that rehabilitates the Ego.

Consciousness tries to start despising the partner so much that it would be a shame to admire him in front of himself. But for this you need to suppress that part of the Ego that sympathizes with the partner. And it hurts a lot. After all, in fact, you need to kill a part of yourself.

On the external level it is expressed as going from one extreme to another: from love to hate, from forgiveness to revenge, from admiration to contempt. A person “swings” himself, such “swings” lead to the fact that the slave partner pumps more and more energy into the channel, putting a part of his Personality into the leading partner, endowing it with his energy in him. These are energy "investments" that are invested in the hope of receiving emotional and energy "dividends". A person simply does not understand that he will never receive “dividends”, since he is already on more than a partner.

I will digress here.

Any relationship is built on the principle of emotional-energetic "investment-dividends", and romance is an attempt to give these "commodity-money" relations a decent look. To whitewash yourself, first of all, in front of yourself. Like, I'm not an egoist, I'm everything for him / her, I'm all sublime spiritual and other crap.

So if you hear about a romantic boy or girl, and even a man and a woman, then this says one thing. People hide behind romance in the hope that no one will see their "mercantile" impulses. And the fact that impulses are “mercantile” is known and intuitively understood by everyone.

Simply because it is consistent with the principle of energy exchange. Which says that a person, in order to survive and procreate, takes care, first of all, about himself, and then about others. This is an evolutionary program with which it is foolish to argue. Well, if anyone wants to argue, I propose to think about where you would be if your distant ancestor would have chosen someone else's life instead of his own.

Romance, as it is presented, implies the rejection of a person from his personality, from his Ego for the sake of another person. Veiled suicide.

But if you abandon romance and live according to the laws of energy, then the motives of people's behavior become visible "at a glance", and this applies not only to relations between a man and a woman, but also to any interpersonal ones.

Skating rink on romance I propose to walk those who are dependent in a relationship. Those who were confronted with a fact, who had a “fatal” break in relations, but emotional dependence on a partner persists.

But, back to the emotional swing

Emotional dependence on a partner always remains with the slave partner, since the channel between partners continues to work as long as one of them continues to drain energy there. It doesn’t matter if the relationship has a place to be or has already been destroyed. While one wants to return the “investment” and receive energy-emotional “dividends”, part of his personality is captured by the lead partner, although he doesn’t need it. The dependent partner continues to emotionally burn himself out and often cannot stop it on his own.

But there are still ways to get out of addiction!

Technique of getting rid of emotional dependence.

The first thing to do in a dependent relationship, or after a “fatal” break, is between partners.

In philosophy, identity is the complete coincidence of the properties of objects.

In psychology, to identify oneself with a person is to consider oneself with him as a single whole, an inseparable union of two, which will be inseparable under any conditions and circumstances.

The lead partner does not identify much with the other person, and that is why he is the lead partner. He knows that in addition to a partner, there are many interesting things in the world and does not focus only on relationships with a partner.

The driven partner, on the contrary, identifies himself with another person, makes plans for life and for a brighter future. He does not see anyone and nothing around him.

Stage 1. Channel overlap.

So, the first step to get out of a relationship of dependence and after a hard break should be to disidentify yourself with a partner and block the channel.

Actions are key here. It is necessary to redirect the energy drained into the channel into some kind of action. Helps to go "in sports" and strain the body to the point of stupefaction. Or to direct attention to those areas of life that failed due to dependent relationships.

This is the most difficult stage, although in fact the most "stupid" and all that is needed is donkey stubbornness. To load yourself on the dome with what there was not enough time for while there was a relationship.

This also needs to be done while continuing to remain in a dependent relationship. With the same donkey stubbornness.

Without action - no matter how much you push, no matter how much you strain your willpower, no matter how much you persuade yourself - nothing will come of it.

Actions are an obligatory and necessary attribute of “recovery”.

It is clear that after a relationship that promises incessant happiness and "golden mountains" of new emotions and impressions, it is difficult to do the banal and familiar. But only this way and nothing else.

In addition to actions, carry out emotional "work" to disidentify yourself with a partner.

This means that you need to consciously destroy the "castles in the air" of your illusions, aimed at the fact that it is with him that you will live happily ever after, bathing in love and joy every day, give birth to children, plant cucumbers, buy a dog, and fly on a trip. . No. Don't fly. Don't give birth. No cucumbers. No children. Not a dog.

To disidentify is to begin to realize oneself separately from a person, to kill hope for the future with him, to stop believing that everything will work out. That he will come / return / change / love / appreciate. No. You have already missed your chance for another markup of relationships. It remains only not to let yourself be driven into a corner completely.

I will deliberately keep silent about some of the effects that may follow attempts to block the channel and disidentify.

Would I say that it would be a mistake at this stage to look for another partner in order to switch thoughts and actions to him. The new partner will help to close the “old hole”, but your Ego will not perceive the new partner as a Personality, and will despise him.

The main thing at this stage is to redirect energy to some other actions.

Stage 2. " Empty chair»

To return part of the invested energy, to receive, if not energy-emotional "dividends", but a part of your Personality integrated into a partner, you can use emotional-figurative therapy or the "empty chair" technique.

To do this, we imagine that the partner is sitting opposite on a chair and we pronounce those experiences that bother. This action releases blocked emotions. We talk until the devastation comes. You can't do this all at once.

This is still the same channel that still exists, since at the first stage, with due effort, the channel is blocked, but not destroyed.

You can destroy the channel only by getting a part of your Personality back.

Energy also works here, but through images.

How to get back a part of yourself?

Further, when performing the “empty chair” technique, you need to imagine that energy was constantly flowing from you through the channel to the leading partner and this energy has an Image. What is he? A blue ball, a bouquet of flowers, a torn, bloodied heart, balloon ik? This Image is an image of your own energy invested in another person, a part of your personality that was given to another person.

All you have to do is mentally either/or:

Abandon forever from this Image;
Accept it into yourself as part of your personality - take your own.

Mentally imagine how this Image melts / disappears / flies away / breaks / disappears or returns to you and you take it back. It happens that a part of the personality and the invested energy are so great (for example, your part of the personality has the image of a huge rock or a big ball) that a person cannot take it into himself, then you need to “go into” the image yourself.

At this stage, some difficulties are possible, when it is not possible to refuse or accept. A person cannot make a decisive choice.

This happens because:

in the first case, the Ego of a person ceases to “trust” a person who so ridiculously squanders parts of the Personality “right and left” and resists refusal;
in the second case, a person is afraid of the return of a part of the personality, fearing that it will let him down or control him. There is an internal split and fear of unsuccessful control over oneself.

This means that the person in emotional dependence experiences self-doubt, does not value himself, does not trust his feelings or abilities. He resists, which he complains about because he fears that he will make new mistakes when he is free.

It is solved by PHYSICAL actions. If you can’t refuse or accept on your own, then you should seek help from real people by explaining the situation.

People have to pull you in different sides by the hand. One pulls in the direction of “refuse”, the other in the direction of “accept”, persuading you and giving arguments. This must be done until a decision is made.

Often the decision is made to return the "investment", and this is the best strategy for getting out of a dependent relationship. The return of this Image to own body allows you to return the lost resources, even if not of the same quality and quantity as was invested, but even the return of part of the energy gives a person freedom.

And only then does the “letting go” of what is no longer needed by a person occurs, while it is possible to merge in this "letting go" even before the heap what can be drained. This will be a small "revenge" on the former partner.

Psychosomatics in dependent relationships.

Psychosomatics develops when a certain "value" outweighs the psycho-emotional health of a person.

Often mothers, wives of alcoholics, drug addicts suffer from this. Their "duty as a wife and mother" outweighs their own health, leading to a dependent relationship. They understand that they will not be able to save anyone, that they are sacrificing their health and fate, but they “cannot” do it differently. Because their "value" is stronger.

Because they do not understand that "an alcoholic, a drug addict" does not need salvation, and his further fall is predetermined by him. own desire they are not responsible for this.

Often psychosomatics shows such people that they are dragging a person on “their hump” against their will.

Emotional dependence can persist for many years, although the person may not even be aware of it. Moreover, he does not suspect that his physical ailment is a consequence of this addiction.

As soon as a person realizes, with the help of the technique of emotional-image therapy, the meaninglessness of his "feat" - this leads to disappointment, and investments are taken away automatically. And for this you need to ask the Image and answer on behalf of the Image to the question: “Does he need to be rescued and dragged on his back somewhere, where, perhaps, he is not going to?”

The answer often frees the person from psychosomatics.

So, with the correct execution of the "Empty Chair" technique, the invested "capitals" are returned back, the object of dependence is released and neutralized.

Let me summarize. In order not to voluntarily run into dependent relationship you need to kill the romance in yourself, adequately assess what is happening, not build illusions and "castles in the air", take a sober look at the behavior and motives of people's actions. Respect, first of all, yourself, your interests and desires. Correctly evaluate the actions of a partner, without inventing meanings for him.

Emotional dependence on a person or situation can significantly spoil life. How to let go and move on with life?

We often feel dependent on people. And this is not about monetary dependence or the impossibility of physical existence without certain personality. We are talking about emotional dependence on a person whose significance for us is overestimated. As a rule, these are the people in whom we invested own feelings throughout the entire period of communication.

Emotional dependence arises on the foundation of phrases like “He is everything to me”, “I live for him”, “I can’t live without his approval” and at the moment when the edge of my “I” is overcome, and “I” has firmly turned into “We ".

In other words, emotional dependence in relations between people is the loss by one of them of their own independence due to the “investment” of emotions in another person.

How does this pattern of relationships manifest itself? As a rule, the dependent entity:

suffers due to the inability to influence the object of its dependence, or due to the lack of its availability;
feels that the likelihood of getting rid of such an addiction is extremely small;
realizes that the presence of emotional dependence in a relationship has a terrible effect on other aspects of life, etc.

These are just a few good examples. AT real life there may be many more. One of the most common patterns is love addiction. Psychologists note that it can manifest itself not only in relation to a partner with whom the subject maintains a relationship, but also to a partner with whom communication has long been terminated (but at the same time, an addicted person cannot “let go” of his soul mate). By the way, a little more psychology: love addiction can be associated with the very desire for love - the so-called erotomania.

There are many types of such emotional addictions.

Starting from the emotional attachment of an already matured child to his mother and ending with dependence on a person who has gone to another world, or on a situation that has developed in the past. But how to get rid of emotional dependence and start living freely again?

To do this, there is a method of therapy, the purpose of which is the transition of a person from a dependent state to a fully independent state. In the future, it is even possible to achieve a level of interdependence. The last definition is a mutually desired state, which implies the need for one person in another without a sense of oppression and limiting framework.

How to get rid of emotional dependence?

Try to work through and analyze one of the several situations discussed below. These situations, taken from real sessions of emotional-figurative therapy, open your eyes to the whole nature and all the mechanisms for the occurrence of such problems.

Reception "Blue ball"

This is a clear illustration of how our psyche can work. It will be about a student who had an unfortunate love experience. She was madly in love with a man with whom relations were completely severed. However, she could not manage to "let go" of her boyfriend. The girl lived mechanically, without enthusiasm, every day thinking about the object of her own addiction.

A seemingly simple exercise helped her. The essence of the method was as follows - to present the person on whom you depend, in the form of some object located in front of you. Let's say it could be a big balloon of blue color. On the offer to “throw away” this ball, the girl said that she could not do this, since it belonged to her. But at the same time, she herself really wanted to get rid of the blue ball.

As a result, the student was offered two specific options for the development of events:

Throw out the blue ball and forget about its existence;
Take the ball into yourself, making it a part of her own personality.

At first, the girl refused both options. But as a result of much thought, she decided not to put the ball anywhere, but to mentally “dissolve” it in herself. Oddly enough, the acceptance of this uncomplicated image in her own heart helped her retain the whole range of tender feelings for the guy, but stop suffering at the same time. Now, having imagined the image of the youngest man, the girl was able to let him go and sincerely wish him happiness.

And initially, the cause was the student's inability to throw out her own heart and her own investment in another person - the same “blue ball” that she so zealously sought to throw away. When she accepted the whole situation, she managed to get rid of the emotional dependence on the guy himself.

"Bouquet of flowers"

This method has been successfully worked out with a man who has been abandoned by his wife. After that, he happily married, but could not let go of his first lover. The reason here again was the investment made in the first wife over the long years of marriage. The man was asked to visualize these emotional investments themselves, which he described as a bouquet of flowers.

The doctor asked the person to take this image into himself, into his body. The man said that the bouquet entered his chest and seemed to replenish the wasted energy. On the offer to present his first wife in front of him and ask her to leave, the man could easily do this, although before the appearance of the bouquet in the game he could not do it at all. As you can see, here again their own emotional investments play a significant role, which a person “invests” in the object of his dependence. If you manage to convincingly return them to yourself as some kind of visual image, everything falls into place and the addiction simply disappears.

"Merge with Mother"

This is an example of an exercise that helped one adult daughter get rid of the destructive emotional dependence on the mother. Despite the fact that the woman already had a separate life and her own children, she still felt attached to her mother - dependence on her life, worldview. Realizing that something was wrong in such a relationship, she turned to a psychotherapist.

As therapy helped to find out, a woman mentally merged with her mother in childhood, becoming completely dependent on her. Now, by means of the techniques already described above, the woman was able to mentally return her heart to her own body. That is to return own investments back. This helped her to thoroughly realize that her life with her mother is the life of separate independent people with their views, rules and mistakes.

How to get rid of emotional dependence: finally

The described methods of emotional-imaginative therapy are simple methods that will help to achieve tremendous results. Of course, it is best to use them under the guidance of a specialist. However, you can use these techniques on your own. All you need is a little imagination and a sincere desire to free yourself from emotional dependence on other people. These principles also apply to situations from the past that “hold” you, which prevent you from freeing your own mind and confidently developing further, having fun.

Offensive words, reproaches, gossip or nit-picking - each of us now and then has to deal with them in everyday life. Alas, the world is not perfect, and even the most good-natured and peace-loving person will always have an envious or ill-wisher who will try to sting, hurt or offend.

Why is this needed, you ask? Emotional attacks of enemies are always justified. Some try to piss off a person, bring confusion to his thoughts and thereby get rid of a competitor. Others simply like to feel superior to their opponent, and therefore, with petty jokes, ridicule and outright rudeness, they try to belittle others. Still others are driven by envy, hatred or resentment. Their injections are the most dangerous, because in their desire to take revenge they try to sting as painfully as possible, touch the most delicate strings of the soul, hit self-esteem, trample and humiliate.

By the way, the poisonous arrows of some offenders reach their goal, which can seriously affect our attitude and cause severe psychological trauma. Whether we can protect ourselves from negative emotions, depends on our current mental condition and what we will be tomorrow, which means that in this bloodless war, we simply need reliable psychological protection.

According to psychologists, the ability to defend oneself from the negative emotions of envious people and competitors, to keep peace of mind in any unpleasant situations and not reacting to insulting attacks in your direction, is a sign of a mature, emotionally and intellectually developed person. This is a guarantee of health and a sign successful person, and therefore everyone who is under pressure from others and takes on the psychological attacks of ill-wishers, it's time to learn about adequate methods of protection from negativity.

What you need to know about psychological protection

First of all, remember that when a person is annoyed or emotionally depressed, he is simply not able to restrain his emotions and respond correctly to criticism flying in his direction. But before you absorb this "poison" or try to respond to the negative, you should ask yourself important questions: Why is this happening? Why is this a person?

Usually, man goes in psychological attack when he has no other way to prove his case, when he does not have any facts and evidence. In this case, he uses the only effective technique - he tries to piss off the enemy. However, if you have your own stable position and are able to justify your point of view, the opponent will not get the desired effect. Of course, he can begin to use prohibited methods, for example, spread rumors, set the team against you, or arrange outright persecution. However, everything is not so hopeless here. If you're ready to fight back weak man, unable to play by the rules, remaining in the position of an elephant, to whom no Pug is afraid, you will emerge victorious from this conflict. Thus, before entering into a skirmish and trying to respond with negativity to negativity, one should try to present the whole picture of the conflict, assess the dynamics of events, highlight all the contradictions and decide which weapon against the offender will be most effective in a particular case.

8 methods of psychological protection from negativity

1. Reception of psychological protection "Fan"

When the stream flies in your direction negative energy, with burning, biting words and phrases, do not rush to immediately respond to the offender. Just close your eyes for a minute and analyze everything you hear. What words provoke you to anger, irritation or aggression? Imagine that the person from whom poisonous arrows are flying at you is sitting opposite, and with each word he visually inflicts biting blows. What do you feel about it? Are you empty or feeling hot in your body, winding up or trying to shrink into a small bug? Now imagine that a fan has been installed between you, the power of which you control by willpower. And as soon as phrases that sting you break out of the mouth of the offender, you mentally increase the pressure of the air, and the offensive words are carried away without reaching you. How have your feelings changed? Did it become easier for you, did you feel that you were able to repel any attacks of the ill-wisher? You can open your eyes. Now you will be completely sure that you are protected.

2. Reception of psychological protection "Kukish"

Remember how as a child you showed the offender the cookie, saying: "You speak to me - you translate into yourself." Now you have become old enough not to fall into childhood and not show the fig to every ill-wisher. This is, at the very least, indecent. However, this does not prevent at all from mentally imagining that you, as in your distant childhood, show a fig to your opponent, and thereby transfer negativity to him. And for greater naturalness, you can hide your hand in your pocket, and already there twist the fig, pointing it at the offender. He will continue to slander and try to offend you, not yet realizing that his words are now directed against him.

3. Reception of psychological protection "Aquarium"

Communicating with negative person and hearing a stream of abuse from him, just imagine that you fenced yourself off from him with a thick glass of an aquarium that does not let a word through at all. You see the distorted face of the offender, but the stream of his words is absorbed by the water. Offensive words do not affect you at all, which means that you remain calm and unshakable, while your opponent becomes more and more inflamed and loses his balance. Thanks to such a simple, but very effective technique, it is sometimes possible to reverse the outcome of even a hopeless conflict. Having noticed at least once how the technique called “Aquarium” works in practice, you will always use it to deal with negativity.

4. Reception of psychological protection "Kindergarten"

You can minimize the negativity flying into you and repel the painful blows of a person who is unfriendly towards you, if you start treating him as little child. Well, you won't be offended by small children, will you? This method is great for protecting against bullying when the whole team is against you, and each of your colleagues is trying to sting you more painfully. Just imagine that you are on a playground where a group of children are behaving just disgustingly: children are roaring and angry, acting up and stamping their feet. You imagine yourself as an adult who is condescending to the whims of small children, does not react to their antics, but only shakes his head, maintaining imperturbable calmness and waiting for the kids to throw out all their anger and calm down. And let this psychological technique be carried out mentally, if in reality you are silent, not responding to the barbs of the team, but only smiling condescendingly in response, soon the opponents will realize that they have lost, will shut up, and will no longer use this forbidden technique against you.

5. Reception of psychological protection "Fox and grapes"

It's no secret that we get the most painful blows from people close to us - relatives or those whom we considered kindred in spirit. If it happened to you similar story, and once a person close to you suddenly went over to the camp of the enemy, becoming on a par with ill-wishers to stigmatize and shame you, use the defense technique called “The Fox and the Grapes”. Remember how in Krylov's fable, the fox, who had not been able to get the grapes, declared that she did not really want delicacies, grapes, they say, green and sour. So you should do with the offender, whom you trusted. Convince yourself that the opinion of this person is not so important to you, and his support is not so necessary. In general, tell yourself that if a person did this to you, he is not such a friend to you.

6. Reception of psychological protection "Ocean"

We have already considered situations when the negative comes not from one person, but from the whole team at once. Not everyone can cope with such pressure. You need a powerful visualization of superiority over opponents in order to find the strength to withstand this pressure with dignity and not let a single poisonous arrow penetrate your heart. Experts in such situations recommend using the "Ocean" technique. Imagine that you are an endless ocean into which flows great amount roaring rivers. All of them pour into the ocean in violent streams, but it remains calm and motionless. It seems that he does not even notice their aggressive pressure. So you, listening to the streams of abuse coming from the offenders, remain impassive and absolutely calm.

7. Reception of psychological defense "Absurd situation"

This psychological technique is to, without waiting for open aggression and ridicule from their offenders, “make an elephant out of a fly”, that is, exaggerating, bringing any situation to the point of absurdity. Only when you feel ridicule from the aggressor, begin to exaggerate the situation so that all the words that follow cause only laughter and are not taken seriously. By doing this, you simply disarm your opponent, and soon everyone will start laughing at him.

8. Reception of psychological defense "Dolls"

Do you remember the famous TV show by V. Shenderovich "Dolls", where the author ironically ridiculed politicians, using for this caricatured puppet characters that look like politicians? People who try to hurt you or openly mock you can only be communicated through the prism psychological reception"Dolls". Keep an eye on your offenders. This one pretends to be a specialist, although in fact he has superficial knowledge, and the other tries to pose as a comedian and joker, although he looks for jokes on the Internet every day. Just laugh at the abilities of your offenders and their imaginary superiority over you will immediately dissipate. By the way, if you laugh at the aggressor as a comical character, this is a sign that the defense is working. Health to you and psychological stability!

How to humiliate a person clever words is a question that interests many. After all, I really want to put the impudent man in his place so that he himself becomes the subject of ridicule.

How and with what words can a person be humiliated?

In no case should you be like your opponent. Therefore, you should not use rude words and curses.

Categorically unacceptable and mat. A witty answer will help a woman emerge victorious from a verbal skirmish. And if nothing comes up right away, then it makes sense to memorize a couple of dozen phrases especially for such cases.

How to competently humiliate and crush a person with words?

However great importance has not only what you say, but also how you do it. A voice breaking into a scream, a snarling intonation are unacceptable for a self-confident woman. Namely, this is how you should look in front of your offender. Those who do not know how to morally humiliate a person with smart words should keep in mind that they should speak calmly, derogatoryly. It would also be appropriate to connect irony or even bright sarcasm.

How to humiliate a person with smart words: phrases for example

To learn how to humiliate a person morally with words, it is worth replenishing your personal vocabulary with a few smart and well-aimed phrases. For example, like this:

Oh, are you all in the same position? Well, 35 (40.45) years is not an age, you can still plow and plow;
have you read this book? Blimey! It must have been hard, with your intellect;
and I would like to offend you, but nature has already done everything for me;
it seems to me, you want to offend me? Well, you are unlikely to succeed, because for this you need to say something really smart;
you remind me of the sea - you also make me sick;
your wit is pretty dull;
ah, so you were joking or what? Well go on, go on...
you need to seriously reconsider your diet, for the intellect, for example, fish is useful, but you clearly lack it.

Communicative behavior

Our everyday life to some extent includes communication and different kinds contacts with people in the professional, everyday and personal level. Communicative behavior is determined by the norms and traditions of communication in different groups of people, and it has character traits for different national, public and state formats.

How to deal with mother-in-law?

Many girls complain that they fail to build good relations with mother-in-law. In this article you can find information on how to deal with different types mother-in-law. These tips will help you get in touch.

Nonverbal behavior

To learn a lot about a person interesting information, just look at his behavior from the outside. The non-verbal behavior of the interlocutor allows you to find out his hidden thoughts and real opinion, and how this is possible is described in this article.

How to become bold?

Many girls would like to be liberated and daring.

And some even dream of trying on the image of a cute bitch. To achieve this goal, it is worth listening to the advice of psychologists.

Good day. Today I want to talk about how to get a person who bothers you or makes you uncomfortable out of yourself. Very often it happens when someone strongly clings to you with their own words, tries to “butt” you, hook you. The only thing, I don’t understand, honestly, I put myself in the place of such people and don’t understand why this needs to be done, why, for example, you need to tell a girl that she has an ugly style of clothing, because she won’t correct anything from their opinion, it’s her not interested, and perhaps she does not have the opportunity to dress differently. Putting myself in the place of such people "chains" :) I realize that I especially hate those people who, in my opinion, are superior to me in something, I look for their shortcomings in order to put myself on a higher level in my own eyes and thereby myself I go lower.

In general, the topic is not about this, but it also concerns her.

I would like to help people who do not conflict, who listen to criticism in silence and then torture themselves with thoughts about what the "chains" told them. The first thing to understand is that the person who makes a remark to you with malice or clings to you is a person who is not indifferent to you. An indifferent person is not necessarily a person who likes you, no, it is most often the other way around.

This person feels that you are higher than him on the stage of development, and he is nothing. This is the pure truth, not self-belief. Think about it and laugh at such people. Secondly, for sure a certain “chain” clings to you not for the first time. Calculate its shortcomings, because it's easy, watch. EVERYONE has flaws! Look for what he can never fix in himself. It hurts a lot. And the third is if communication drags on into a long conflict. Do not shout and do not call names, do not insult, agree, it is very infuriating when a person does not resist, but at the moment when you agree, try to offend more offensively so as not to speak directly, but with light hints. I promise the effect will be amazing ;)

Sincerely, Anna Zavodnaya (c)

Morphological analysis of the word online

Enter a word or sentence and get morphological analysis indicating the part of speech, case, gender, tense, etc.

initial form : FURIOUS
Part of speech: noun
Grammar: singular, nominative, masculine, animated, surname
Forms: mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad

initial form: RAGE
Part of speech: participle
Grammar: singular, nominative, masculine, inanimate, imperfect species, animate, intransitive, past tense, passive voice
Forms: furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious , maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad

initial form: HUMAN
Part of speech: noun
Grammar: singular, nominative, masculine, animate
Forms: man, man, man, man, man, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people